LOOKEE WHAT I GOT:
Now, I've gotten nice bloggy awards before, both on Once Upon a Diet (my original weight loss blog that I created in May of 2007) and this one. Always nice when someone gives you a goodie like that, isn't it?
But I will be honest. Allan's award is the most astonishing one, cause, well, as I said in my comment on his post today, I've always fallen in the "average" or "below average" loss category during the weekly weigh-ins. Mostly I'd hit EXACTLY the average for the week. Even eating great and exercising, I was never one of the stellar losers. And, another bit of honesty, I never expected to be one of the stellar losers. My body doesn't churn out the caloric burn and lose fat as deftly as I would wish.
Coming in 7th on the list--that makes me nearly pee my pants with shock and awe. Oh, that's not the award, sorry. that's just the breakfast water asking me to go to the bathroom. Be back in a minute....
As I note in the sidebar where I posted this award, it proves the lesson of the fable about the hare and the tortoise. If you're one of the turtle-y ones, as long as you stay in the race and don't give up, you will add up the yards towards the goal. As long as you just HANG THE HELL IN THERE, you will make progress. You won't win against the hares that also hang in there (ahem, Ann), but you don't have to. You only have to win your own race. Every weight loss journey is totally individual. You are always racing alone. It's just you and your fat. You want to win it, even if you don't win it before all the snazzy, dazzling hares. (Ahem, Kimberly).
Some bodies are metabolically more charged. Some dieters choose foods and caloric levels more wisely. Some exercise more consistently and ardently. Some have health issues and others are healthy babes.
Just run your race and run it with an eye to that prize. Run it to finish. But run it undauntedly.
Believe you can run it.
For the longest time, honestly, truthfully, I did not believe I could do it. Even Allan must have gotten annoyed by my lack of faith and self-confidence in comments and emails. Geez! When I think of my dithering about joining Phase 4. I was afraid. I felt inadequate. I did not believe in my ability to do it. Just like for years I did not believe I could stick to a plan--and I did NOT stick to any plan for long. And I always regained, with added pounds.
Little by little, since May 2007, little bit here, little bit there, I started acquiring some self-confidence. It didn't bloom, really bloom, until I started this new blog and joined the challenges. Succeeding at the weekly goals, then monthly goals, has boosted my self-confidence about getting the fat off. This has been the number one benefit of these short-term challenges. BELIEVING I CAN DO IT!
I am no dynamo of self-esteem or self-confidence. I spent most of my life being my own biggest obstacle, since childhood. But I am fully convinced that until we really start to believe in our ability to overcome food addiction, obsession, conditioned overeating, etc, we cannot get to a healthy weight and STAY THERE. (Staying there is key, as who wants to do all this work to ultimately be back in Fatland.)
So, if you've always failed before...consider a challenge. Consider one that is simple and starts of gently (like Allan's) and works up to more dedication. Increments work. I would not have conceived doing Phase 4 had I not done Phases 1, 2, and 3. Each gave me that step up I needed in self-faith.
I am reading a book called THE PROCRASTINATION EQUATION. I have found that books that deal with things like changing habits are as valuable, if not more, than diet books at this point. I downloaded it to my Nook Color (whoo, so cool) yesterday, and am only slightly into it, but it addresses the core issue at the heart of procrastination (and I am a champion procrastinator) as impulsivity. Think of how our impulsivity--the pleasure now, the pay-off now of food versus the pay-off THEN of normal weight--plays into our obesity. We want that PIZZA NOW! Pizza now sounds better than slim body 8 months, a year, 2 years away. Cake now sounds nicer than 5 pounds off by month's end. Pleasure NOW rather than pleasure THEN.
And he also addresses one basic issue in procrastination: lower expectations. We don't think we CAN GET RESULTS...we think we will fail. We self-sabotage by putting off the actions that lead to success, because we don't BELIEVE in success.
So, yes: Believe in success. Value a healthy and slim body A YEAR DOWN THE ROAD (or less, or more) rather than the feast NOW. Look at the big plate of fatty or trigger foods and think: Do I want this more than I want to lose a pound this week? If your answer is yes, you eat it. If your answer is no, you throw it away.
Do the steps you need to in order to place a higher value on the HEALTHY BODY down the road. Be it May1, 2011 or December 31, 2011, or September 3, 2012 (see my original blog post, hah). Place a really high value on THAT, not on the burrito or lasagna or cookies.
See, I'm not freaking yet. I thought I would, cause, well, that whole lack of self-confidence and lowerered expectations.
But I chose to believe Allan and Debbi and Kimberly and Ann and other 1200 calorie eaters in this Phase 4 Challenge, those who said fervently that is was DOABLE and that *I* could do it.
When I didn't believe in myself completely, I chose to believe THEIR belief in me until my own self-confidence kicked in.
It has kicked in now on day 2. I have decided that I can do it. I have chosen faith and the value of my May 1, 2011 healthier body.
Choose wisely today.
And don't freak when you do. :D
Challenge Breakfast: I again selected the egg white/Ezekiel toast/skim milk, but added the fruit to the milk to make a cinnamon/banana/milk smoothie (yum). Coffee. Water. All under 300 cals.
Edited to Add: About now, those of you who did your squats/lunges should be feeling your muscles all sore from those tough babies. I woke up sore in my abs--all of them, lower, upper, obliques from Pilates--and my thighs and butt from the squats and lunge alternate exercises (the Princess cannot lunge in classic form, sorry, just can't). My triceps and shoulders are also sore from some upper body work. It's nice to be sore. Means you burned calories and that you're BUILDING MUSCLE! Feel your body good protein to build up that muscle!
Snack: string cheese nuked lightly with 1 tsp of of pasta sauce to make it taste pizzaey. Water.
Lunch: turkey sandwich with lettuce/spinach/cucumbers/tomato/mustard ; decaf; water
snack: lowfat yogurt
dinner: (leftovers, so same as yesterday) chicken/rice n beans/asparagus
The only difference was I made a nice dijon mustard mixed with white wine vinegar and lemon juice no-fat dressing to put on the asparagus.
Not hungry after dinner today, so skipped last snack.
Total calories: 1019 and all water downed.