Sunday, February 27, 2011

Day 21 of P5: Shaking and wanting to puke cause I got all inspired by ONE OUTS....kick-butt baseball anime

Scale's the same.

I just did some working out and can barely type. My body is all shaking, blood pumping, and I'm a tad nauseous. Urp.

Did some of my Jackie Warner workout DVD , followed by some Dance Central on Kinect (Ride the train, come on, ride the train...)  I kept moving for 30 mins and pushed, pushed.

I may have pushed too much. Urp again.

Hubby and I watched ONE OUTS (new to us, though it's a couple years old anime-wise). Baseball anime. Not the comedic school one like BIG WINDUP! and not poignantly sweet and youthful like CROSS GAME. This one has a seriously testosterone-drenched couple of players and a really cool hottie of the "maverick with the spiky dyed blond hair and sly eyes" kind who wins every time. Of course, he's recruited (in a very cool seedy way by an uber-prideful and competent pro player) and is now a player for a team (instead of his moneymaking night gambling ventures). But he still manages to outmaneuver even the snobby team owner/CEO dude. Love it.

Oh, really, I will puke, methinks. Whoa..dizzy.

All these "we will do it no matter what" animes have been part of my way to motivate myself to stay in the Phase 5 mindset. Get it done! Don't give up! See the goal! Move toward it!

I will try not to overdo, though. I am a fat, middle-aged gal with medical issues, not a young turk with sexy-sly eyes and a killer-lean physique (ie Toua, the main character):

I really dig this song used in the opening credit sequence--Pay Money to My Pain, Bury. Gonna find and iTouch it.

I hope you keep your motivation flowing this weekend.

Keep going.


Saturday, February 26, 2011

Day 20 of P5: 100 Days to Go....And I'll Send Weigh-In Today, not Tomorrow; What Would A "Maintenance Phase Challenge" Look like; Thoughts on June...

Official P5 weigh-in will be sent today: 219

Tanita-san said 219.4, and we round (up or down) as needed.

It'll be 3 weeks down in Phase 5 tomorrow, and a lot more weeks to go. But 100 days past quickly. Just look how fast 57 days have passed this year so far. Time flies, baby, always has (except when the dentist is doing something painful or you're waiting for a pay bonus to deposit).

In 3.4 pounds, I will no longer be severely obese...just obese. Milestones. I got my eye on 'em.

When Phase 5 ends, I hope to be close to not being obese. I suppose miracles can happen and I won't be obese anymore. But close is good. Very, very good. It's amazing, actually.

I'm selfish enough that I hope Allan will have a "let's see if we can keep it off or lose more" or "maintenance" phase. I know, we should not ask for more, when we're getting so much. But yes, I am selfish now. I like his accountability and progress structure, and I know maintenance is tough. He'll be at maintenance before me, but that doesn't mean that it's not something good to do. Learn the right way to readjust calories. Not everyone can do it right. I've seen bloggers stumble slightly, moderately, and major-EffingUppingly when they lost the weight and tried to maintain or just lose the last 5 to 10 lbs. Something about being close to or at goal can mess up your mojo.

And maintenance has always been hard.

My goal is to be a kick-ass maintainer one day. What number will I maintain? Who the hell knows? I've learned enough reading weight loss blogs for 4 years that what one thinks will be the end number isn't always the right end number. One may have to be realistic and accept a higher one; one may have been not optimistic enough and do well with a lower one.

I actually wonder what a "maintenance phase" type of challenge would be like, how would it be set up, since some would lose more, some try to stay in a small range of ideal weight, some realize they can't hold the low weight and need a higher number.....

Well, that's something for me to ponder, since I plan to have to do it, even if it's on my own. My own "maintenance phase challenge" to get me in gear for a  lifelong phase of maintenance.

One day. Soon, I hope. :)

Phase 5 ends in June. June is a special month for me. LOTS of things to celebrate related to me and hubby. It's a "very few clothes" time of year in Miami, cause it's when hurricane season (read hot and muggy and wanna die to get into a cool place while terrified of the weather reports season) starts and when we all sweat and have a hard time keeping our hair from frizzing and makeup from melting. Mosquitoes and mug. Ugh. BUT...with fewer clothes (and bathing suits for the ones not afraid to show hanging skin or rolls of fat), we're gonna be so glad we were in the DDDY and made progress.

Here's to making bigger strides before summer makes us reveal our skin to the world....

Happy Saturday!

(Off to have FUN now...and burn some calories...see ya...)

Friday, February 25, 2011

Day 19 of P5: Has something clicked with you? I mean, do you feel DIFFERENT losing weight this time than at any other?

Just asking cause it feels radically different this time for me than any of the multiple times I dieted in the past--via books, magazine articles, Weight Watchers, Nutrisystem, Diet to Go, etc--in the sense that I am not stressed.

No stress.

By stress I mean I'm not feeling burdened. I don't feel like something is chasing me and is about to catch me. I don't agonize over meals. I'm not tearing my hair out around 11pm at night wanting to eat.

I feel the groove this time. I have also lost more than ever. The most weight I ever lost and kept off for at least a couple months before was 34 lbs.

I've now taken off 79 and I only had minor regain blips on the path, no full regain. But I struggled mightily until recently, until last summer. Last summer, something started to...reshape itself in how I felt motivated, in how I felt the need for goals, in how I was able to start tackling my overeating.  It's only been in the last few months that something changed even more and I stopped fighting whatever it was I was fighting and became able to accept an eating plan and live it and only bobble now and then (not daily, not constantly).

I hope this is a permanent change. It's crazy optimistic to even hope that, but I do. I like not feeling controlled by appetite. I like that when I get a wild temptation, I look it in the face and say, "Um, how will you help me meet my goals? You can't...go away."

Now, I do cave to temptations now and then. I still do. But I generally sit and reason and think, "Okay, my body or mouth or brain or something wants to eat X and Y. Why? Well, what can I do to make this craving go away or what minimal impact food can I eat to shut that voice up?"

I'm learning to make trade-offs when it comes to those cravings and temptations. Most days, I say no. Period. No option. Some days, I say: "I will drink 16 oz of water and wait 30 minutes and see." Some days: "I will drink tea, water and  wait one hour and see."  Other days, when waiting and water won't do it, I find the safe alternate. If I want to scarf up some chocolate cake, I will find a chocolate alternative: high protein, sugar-free cocoa or sugar-free dark chocolate or cocoa powder mixed with a teaspoon of peanut butter with Splenda. Whatever. Something to tell my tongue: "There, you got the taste. Now, shut up."

But the best change is that I'm doing okay with smaller meals, and I never would have believed that was possible for me, the bulk eater, the binger.

I want this to last.

I like it feeling really, really different. Centered. I want food to stop being an enemy and just be a tasty tool to have a good life. I like feeling in charge of it, instead of it in charge of me.

What causes this? Was it all the reading and preparation? Was it the challenges?

I don't know for sure, though I have theories.

Do you feel different, too, losing weight? Does it seem at last like goal is possible? (I never felt it really was before, oddly, though wanting it so much.) Do you feel as if your inside has changed some with regard to eating? Do you feel....stronger or newer or calmer or whatever?

If you do, I'm glad. What do you think caused this? I'm curious...

But I am feeling altered...and my prayer is that it keeps on going until my last breath....that it's not a phase or a fluke but a real transformation....yes, that's my prayer: please last forever....

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Day 18 of P5: In a new "decade" at friggin last...hope it's not a momentary blip; finger still hurts, typing still hurts; Buck-Tick for the exercise mojo with a more positive original concept of "kamikaze", um, how's it going with ya? :)

Tanita-san welcomes me to a new decade: 219.8

(I thought my waist looked "less than" and measured. Yep...1/2 inch down from last week.)

Took me long enough. I was tired of being in the low 220s already.

Funny, this is such a contrast to the months and year+ futzing about in the 270's. Sometimes, I get stuck in a decade. 280s and 270s were long ones. 260s less long, but I dithered.

I want to get out of the 210s with ease. This is my prayer. No futzing, dithering, lollygagging. Up and at em. Out of here! Let's do it, Body o' Mine!

(And while you're at it, BofM, please heal up this finger. It hurts to blog!)

Anyway, I felt no vim when I woke up, so I put on some Buck-Tick on the cd player and got my mojo going. Put on my workout clothes. Started moving about to get the blood pumping. Worked. The song "Kamikaze" today especially gave me some good "wind at my back"....which was followed on the CD with the faboo ZERO. (Link is to video of a live performance. Sakurai Atsushi in his long-haired glory. Hot dang! That'll wake up your ovaries.)  Double wind!

I decided I'm going to appropriate the term "kamikaze" while on the challenge. Not in the tragic and deadly way it was used in WWII and continues to be thought of today. But in the sense of divine intervention for my good. Kami is a word meaning god(s). Kaze means wind. Wind from God or the gods. Divine Wind. Kamikaze. It's a beautiful word. Too bad we have such ugly, sad, destructive images for it in our recent generations.

Let's make it a beautiful one again.

I believe in God. I believe God wants our good and when it is His Will, He will intercede on our behalf. God's plan is bigger than any one of us, but each one of us has great value.

So, I do pray for that divine winds--holy typhoons, mighty hurricanes of mercy-- to carry me to my health goals. Wind to blow away the boats carrying my enemies so they cannot disembark and wage war on me.

How are you doing as February closes and we see ourselves two months into the new year (less new now)? Are you meeting resolutions, short-term goals? Are you still fighting the fat fight or did you give up?

Find a new wind...keep going...

Here is a "nothing to see" video of Buck-Tick's "Kamikaze", couldn't find a performance one...enjoy...lyrics/translation here...

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Day 17 of P5: Eh, didn't feel like blogging, but if you are eating the new McD's oatmeal, READ THIS....

Nice warm day with breeze. Hubby came home early so we picked up my car from body shop. He misplaced the insurance check, so we had to pay full and will claim that from Allstate.

Did my exercised. Went over 1200 by a bit (was so hungry after dinner and caved and had a 70 calorie protein hot cocoa to tell the stomach to shut up). Water is almost all in (2 cups to go).

I'm not feeling the blogging mojo, but I am thinking that some folks out there are touting how "healthy" the new McD's oatmeal is. Really? Ya think so? Well, I suppose in comparison to a lot of other crap one can pick up to-go in the am. But read this before you buy it, cause, really, how fricken easy is it to have oatmeal at home and really make it wholesome:

How To Make Oatmeal...Wrong 


A more accurate description than “100% natural whole-grain oats,” “plump raisins,” “sweet cranberries” and “crisp fresh apples” would be “oats, sugar, sweetened dried fruit, cream and 11 weird ingredients you would never keep in your kitchen.
Since we know there are barely any rules governing promotion of foods, one might wonder how this compares to real oatmeal, besides being 10 times as expensive. Some will say that it tastes better, but that’s because they’re addicted to sickly sweet foods, which is what this bowlful of wholesome is.
The aspect one cannot argue is nutrition: Incredibly, the McDonald’s product contains more sugar than a Snickers bar and only 10 fewer calories than a McDonald’s cheeseburger or Egg McMuffin. (Even without the brown sugar it has more calories than a McDonald’s hamburger.)

Oatmeal is sure easy to make at home in a large (cheap still) quantity and put in the fridge and dole out for breakfast with a bit of a nuking. Heck, it can be made overnight in a slow cooker or while you're grooming. Easy. Don't need McD's to mess it up for ya...


Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Day 16 of P5: Thank you for birthday wishes; ASICS rocks! And it was a nice break from over-internetting; typing hurts; and realizing a shift in daily attitude and habits are actually entrenching....

Tanita-san: 220.6

I had weighed in on  Sunday at a rounded 222 (rounded up from 221.6).

To all the lovely folks and pals who dropped by here and on FB to wish me happy birthday, I thank you. I truly believe that well-wishes and good thoughts and prayers and blessings exert a powerfully good effect on those upon whom good is wished. So, thank you, thank you!

This weekend was full of fun and the weather was great for me turning 51. My family did not sabotage my birthday party. The food was wholesome: roasted pork tenderloin, shredded chicken breast in a light tomato sauce, brown rice,  arugula and romaine salads, broccoli slaw, fresh fruit salad (just chunks of various fruits), homemade tzatziki made from low-fat Greek yogurt, herbs, garlic, cucumber with strips of orange peppers, baby carrots, sliced cucumbers for dipping. And low-carb ww pitas for those inclined. I took a box of handmade, fresh, dark chocolates for everyone to share as dessert, enough for two pieces per person.

I had asked for no birthday cake (you know, the sugary, calorie-rich frosted stuff). My middle sis did bring a cake (which the kids appreciated, cause they were stunned there was no cake with candles). Sis got a sugar-free angel food cake, sugar free whipped topping, and berries. It was amazingly low-cal substitute for a traditional birthday cake.

I took two bags of my don't-fit-anymore clothes to give away.

And I had to go shopping twice. There may not have been a big  poundage drop in the last 2 weeks...but I kept having trouble finding stuff to wear. I pulled out shirt and top after shirt and top and it was all baggy. Even stuff I bought not that long ago. My lowest size jeans I got in December (buying a size lower for future use) needed a belt. So, I went and got  3 pairs in 18/20 at Avenue (along with some 14/16 camisoles). Then yesterday, we went to TJ Maxx to get stuff for hubby...and I realized I might be able to find stuff that fits. (I never could before). Got a couple tops (that fit now in XL and XXL) and some workout pants in XL that are too small now but should fit in a month or so. Cheaper than catalogs!

I had the same issue some other challengers have had: I keep reaching for a larger size than I need. I now know I actually AM DOWN a size, so I need to shop accordingly. I'm using the smallest sizes at Avenue now and in the Old Navy Plus size section (1x), so soon I will start seeing what other "regular" stores have to offer...

I will say I got so many comments and amazed looks at my party. I'm still not used to that. A couple folks hadn't seen me since Christmas Eve, so I guess that's about 15 pounds gone since then.

Anyway, if you overpronate and have troublesome joints, try ASICS. I am having happy feet with my ASICS, three pairs so far, not all the same style,  and now it's my fave sports shoes. I used to be a total New Balance and Brooks lines aficionado...but dang if ASICS 2160  just blew them outta the water. Oh, man. Sweet!

Taking time away from blogging and mega-internetting was good. Head feels...settled. I don't feel overloaded. I may do that periodically. hurts to type. I have an infection on my L index fingertip, and every keystroke with that bandaged digit is an ouchie.

What doesn't hurt and is very nice, indeed, is realizing this weekend, where we went out and ate out and had a party and I never felt like a food-freak out of control, that it's nice to wake up and feel like I won't blow it.

Doesn't mean I won't....but I never consistently had this, "I will get through another day and not let food own me" attitude and feeling. I thanked God for it. It's so...freeing. Like I don't have to fear every temptation...cause I can say no better, easier, less painfully.

I still have to plan, think, shop, assess, and strategize dinners out...but it's easier and more natural to do it now. There are simply things I cannot buy at Publix and things I cannot order in restaurants. And to focus on what I can buy and can makes decisions easier.  I am not perfect and I sometimes do screw up. But I screw up... A LITTLE. Not ogre-sized screw-ups. I might mess up 100, maybe 150 cals. I don't mess up 1000, 2000, or Lord Help Me, 3000 + like I have too often in the past.

You know what? It's easier to correct for small screw-ups, small indulgences. It's REALLY HARD to correct for binges, for the ogre-sized, for the dragon-deluxe messes.

Being in a zone where the mess is more manageable than ever in the last 20 years...there are no words for how liberating that is.

However, I know I can't think of slacking. That's a slippery slope. The allowances I made, smaller ones, for my birthday party is/was a treat. I kept it a wholesome party, but it was still a celebration. I still loosened up that rope some. And it's time to take back the slack and be vigilant and do what we're required to do on this challenge.

I find that consistency makes consistency easy. In the beginning of these challenges, being consistent was crazy hard, but the effort to be so eventually made consistency a bit easier. Every week of living with sound food boundaries makes the boundaries easier.

I wonder if this is in part why staying at goal weight and maintaining 5 years means you have a greater chance to stay there for life? Because week in and week out for year after year, those habits are more and more deeply entrenched, become automatic, the limitations become a safety zone (rather than a shackle) mentally.

Well, I want a safety zone. On my own, I get to 300 pounds and would go beyond. I want the boundaries and the habits of food strategy. I don't want to ever think again, "Oh, it's my birthday, and I can eat anything I want and how much I want." Then, oh, it's the kiddo's birthday, I can eat...oh, it's Christmas, I can eat anything and...oh, it's my niece's wedding, I can...

I want a different mindset. I wanna think, "Oh, it's my birthday, what active and health-inducing thing can I add to my celebrations." (This year, it was jumping rope. Next year, if we can afford it, I want to arrange a taiko drumming workshop for the fam/kids or maybe a self-defense one.)

It's better to look forward to DANCING THE NIGHT AWAY at a wedding rather than eating it away.....VOLLEYBALLING at a beach outing rather than basting and snacking....yes.....!  It's better to get the kids excited about canoeing at the park than about scarfing down huge plates of BBQ and boxes of cookies there. Why set kids up for wanting crap like we do? New traditions....for not a bad thing. :)

This year, my birthday party marked my new tradition. No more crap-laden birthdays. Some treats, fine. But mostly good, wholesome, nourishing, lower-caloric foods. The tradition began THIS YEAR....and I plan to make it my new tradition. For hubby, too. I want him to be healthy and gorgeous right into his retirement years.

And what did we do besides jump roping? I bought a medicine ball and hubby and I threw it around Friday and Saturday. 10 pound medicine ball.

Every little bit counts...every little positive bit adds to the positive...

Anyway, that was my birthday weekend--new traditions, new exercise equipement, new clothes....cause I want a new life. :)

Later. Be well...I will catch up on my fave blogs over the next couple days (since my car is in the shop due to some jerk messing the doors up while I was out on errands Friday). Hope things are well with my fellow fatfighters!

Friday, February 18, 2011

Day 12 of P5: 2 Days to Birthday, Busy, May Skip Blogging and De-Interwebs for a Spell...Still with the salt...sheesh...Plus I Ponder my Internet Addiction--like I Pondered my Food Addiction....& Are You Spending Too much Time Online?

I turn 51 on Sunday. Urgh. What an awkward number.

I may be MIA if things get hectic this holiday weekend. I assume many of y'all have holiday plans, too. ENJOY!

On to other things....

Lyn's post resonated with me today. We share addictions, so, of course it resonates.

My desire for too long is to comfort myself with food, to stuff with food, to obsess with food. I've worked on that and it's getting a lot better (for now, and may it stay that way and get better).

My other addiction is the internet. Blogging. Blogs. Facebook.

Time for me to cut back on that, too. I don't know how. Frankly, I wanna sign on before I brush my teeth. I check before bed. That's an addiction.

I want to blog, of course, as this is helpful to my health journey. But when it's hours on this thing a day, and it's not work-related or other necessity-related, then I'm fixating on this the way I used to fixate on food. Using the computer is a sedentary thing. So, it's not adding to the active lifestyle I"m trying to cultivate.

How to balance this?

I have no fricken idea, other than to give myself a limit of X time limit a day and use a timer or alarm...

If you gave yourself no more than an hour a day to blog and read blogs, how would you handle it?

Well, something for me to ponder and work on.

Along with the salt thing. Still struggling mightily. i had a handle on it for a while, then fell back to old habits. Not completely. I'm still WAY better than original Salt Vampire me. But... I'm screwing up my progress with hitting the salt. Seriously, the cravings are killer. It's like since I cut back calories drastically, my tongue refuses to let me give up the shaker. Frustrating. I was doing great on the scale and this has stalled my progress.

And it does give me cravings. I know it. But it's like giving up ciggies. Tough as hell.

Anyway, yesterday I exercised a total of 1 hour and 20 mins...strength and stretching and walking. I ate 1274 calories. I drank all my fluids and a bit more.  Scale today: 221.6. Sheesh. That sucks.

I keep on keeping on, trying to find balance, not always succeeding, but the fight goes on....

108 days to go in the Phase 5 Challenge....hopefully decades to go in the lifelong challenge....

Happy Weekend to all fatfighters!

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Fewer than 20% of Americans Get Recommended Exercise Levels...and where does the cycle start? Do YOU exercise?

Sitting here watching the ABC Evening News. There's a report on a study on exercise/obesity.

34% of us are obese. (I am. Severely obese. need to lose 7 pounds to just be plain "obese".)

Less than 20% get recommended exercise.

Of course, the states with least exercise are among those with the highest rates of obesity and diabetes. The ABC report is online now (just checked):

Regionally, the problems are even more pronounced. Inactivity runs rampant across the U.S. South and Appalachia, where nearly 30 percent of people reported that they do not get any physical exercise -- not even light activities such as golfing or gardening.
"That's probably even an underestimate of the real problem," said Dr. Antronette Yancey, a professor at UCLA who serves on a board that supports first lady Michelle Obama's "Let's Move" campaign. Yancey said that in self-reported data, participants often vastly overstate their actual activity.

Studies show that people  underestimate the calories they eat and overestimate their activity. So...we eat way too much and we move way too little. Not surprising, right?

What they don't correlate is: Which came first?

Do those of us who are obese stop moving cause we got fat from eating too much/too much crap? Or are they fat cause they stopped moving and are eating crap?

I use to exercise when I was normal weight and when I was "just overweight", dance a lot, bike, swim, etc...when I had the energy. As I got fatter and made poorer food choices, moving became HARD. Energy plummeted (especially as my hypothyroidism worsened). The fatter I got, the more painful/difficult it was to be on my feet, move. And the more self-conscious I got, the less I wanted to move.

I had to force myself against a huge wall of lethargy to start Pilates in 2008. It was defying my inertia, and it was hard, and some days the energy was so low, just getting going was an ordeal. I did little home or weekends. It wasn't until I addressed my macronutrients in the summer of 2010 that I felt my energy change. A change in thyroid meds helped, too. (Not more, just a different combo). Energy began to increase.

For me, fixing the FOOD began to fix not just the weight but the ENERGY issue. I wanted to move suddenly. Not like a fidgety hyper person. Like a more NORMAL perosn.

So, they really need to LOOK into this.

Gary Taubes in WHY WE GET FAT puts the cause and effect the other way around. People get fat and stop moving, not that they don't move and get fat. He tags the obesity on a bad diet, which leads to low energy (he gives the science case studies where this happens in experimental's interesting stuff) and conservation of energy by not moving.  One review of the book notes this:

Taubes makes the very interesting point that obese people are sedentary not because they are lazy, but because their energy stores are locked up (insulin traps fat energy and makes it inaccessible).  They simply don't have enough energy to exercise and therefore don't want to.  I agree with this.  Our patients who lose weight become much more interested in moving. You only need to read a few weight loss blogs to see how frequently obese, sedentary people turn into avid exercisers, even marathoners. 

I noticed this. As I ate better and lost weight by dieting, I felt more energy and WANTED to do more.  It was changing the diet that was key to the energy that then led me to be able to pump up my activities.

It may just be a double-arrowed trend--goes both ways. BUT...I think people need to consider that moving less, doing less, sitting still may come about BECAUSE one got fat.....and then that feeds into more fatness cause the diet is out of whack and what we eat is just plain BAD for us (not just too much, but unhealthful).

If you wanna see the CDC report, HERE.

Well, just some thoughts....

If you have not incorporated regular (daily?) exercise into your weight loss/heath plan, why not?  What is your roadblock?

Mine was low energy. Totally no motivation due to lethargy. Pain in feet and knees (now hips) were a factor. For a while, my muscles were  a mess due to statins (pain ALL THE DAMN TIME). Off the statins, no chronic muscle pain, but my joints are kinda a mess from decades of obesity.

What prevents you from moving/sweating/walking/jogging/dancing/Pilates-ing/Yoga-ing/weight-lifting/surfboadring/biking?

And please look at yesterday's post to give feedback on what type of item you 'd like to see in a giveaway. So far, one person said "exercise or fitness item" and one said "gift certificate to Amazon." THANKS. :)

Day 10 of P5: Dozy Feeling, Still Want Your Response on Preferred Giveaway Item, and Delayed Date Night of NON-gluttonous fun with Pic (blurry, hah)...Scientific American article on Obesity and What Works Best (Scientifically) So Far....

Yawn. A Sleepy me on the scale--
Tanita-San: 220.8

Even though it's a low energy day, that cheers me up. That's almost 1.5 lbs since the weigh-in for the challenge last Saturday.

I want this week to show at least 2 lbs off at next weigh-in (and 2 lbs is great for me, means I'm doing what I need to, I'm not one of those 4 and 6 lbs a week megalosers). I always kid that I fall in the "average" zone for the Challenge, and Allan said the average loss the first week was around 3 lbs. Well, I fell into that average again. Middle me. Turtle Princess.

But that's okay, cause I know what happens when you string a bunch of 2 lb losses together. You get to goal eventually. :)

And when I began this blog in September, I was aiming for 1 lb a week loss. So, doing it twice as fast ain't gonna bum me out, I can tell you.

If you didn't reply about what type of giveaway item is your preferred, see the choices in the previous post and leave a comment there or here. Thanks.

We finally had our delayed date night (delayed due to an allergic reaction on my part). We went to Gulfstream park and, yes, I did not overeat. :) Every time we go out and I don't go nuts, it makes me feel ridiculously happy. Last year, the year before, the years before that, I would have stuffed myself to the point of discomfort; I would have had bread and butter,  appetizers, entree (or some of two entrees), dessert. I sometimes ordered multiple entrees and had some of several. Seriously....I was outta control. You don't get to 300 lbs unless you're outta control, people. You know it's true.

To have a modest meal, not feel stuffed, and enjoy's like a dream.

Blurry pic, sorry, hubby was holding it arm's length and I guess shook it a bit:

Princess and Her Prince at Racetrack Casino

Total opposite of my previous lip gloss. This is MAC Dazzleglass in "Utterly Posh"--a sorta peachy-goldeny transparent glittery thing. I am a Dazzleglass ho. MAC is a lip gloss-crack dealer, I swear. I own like dozens of them. I love the things. They may say after a certain, ahem, age you shouldn't wear the glittery shiny gloss. Too bad. I love em and will wear em when I'm 80 and dessicated  (if I live that long). heh.

Anyway, we stopped at Barnes and Noble on the way home (I wanted a cookbook) and I got a couple health/fitness mags and the new Scientific American, cause its cover boasted an article on "Scaling Back Obesity...What Science Says About Losing Weight And Keeping It Off". Well, they knew how to hook me, right?

It's about 6 pages of text and several illustrations. Basically, it shows that using techniques for behavioral change are (currently) the most effective for losing weight or keeping from gaining. The behaviors that correlatedwith a greater chance of losing weight and keeping it off are:

~~setting clear, modest goals
~~focusing on lifelong habits

Which they break down into

1. Initial Assessment-- what do you weigh/measure;how much do you have to lose; what are the things you're doing (or not doing) that caused you to gain weight; what rituals contribute to overeatingunderexercising. Getting professional help at this stage can be beneficial.

2. Behavioral Shifts:  This can include small changes, like taking the stairs or parking farther from destination and walking more. This includes the strategies at, say, a buffet table (studies show surveying it first, before serving, helps people put less on a plate).

3. Self Monitoring: weigh-ins, calorie tracking, logging steps taken. Some sort of system to let people know how well they are doing. Whether low-tech (paper and pencil) or high-tech (online monitoring).

4. Support Groups: "Being part of a group...lets participants share triumphs, bemoan setbacks, and stragtegize solutions."

Might wanna browse it at the bookstore or newstand.

And you can take their poll at .

I think those of us who blog are already doing so much of that. We publish our weight and progress pictures. We talk about meal planning and our calorie counting. We log our exercise. We are accountable with regular weigh-ins or other monitorings (waist measures, etc). We join forums. We create challenges and form support groups in them.

I know that reading about the processes of change was helpful to me, cause it was bad behavior I needed to alter. Behavior ruled by emotions/stress rather than strategy or reason. A binge is not a rational act. It's an emotional one. It's also a habituated one (see THE END OF OVEREATING) that can be set off by what one intially eats (the fat/sugar/carb/salt combo).  Either way, it requires a change: some sort of new routine or act or plan that curtails binges or keeps them from occurring to begin with.

So it's a behavioral strategy I needed to curtail them/prevent them.

I find avoiding the deadly triumvirate helps immensely. I find distractions help. But whatever works, you have to learn to implement it fast and it has to become a habit. Like my habit now of drinking 2 to 4 glasses of fluids before I take ONE BITE of any meal or snack. Get the stomach full of fluids and it's harder to fill it with solids. :)  (And yes, there is a study that says drinking 2 glasses of water before eating means you eat less.)

I hate logging my food...but this is one of the most valuable "control" tools I have found, so, well, I do it. It's feedback. It's self-monitoring. I need it.

And a weekly weigh-in to which I'm accountable is important. And when one of us goofs up and others offer solutions (or I offer ones I found valuable), that's parto f the strategizing. We need this to learn. Maybe the strategy that works for you will work for me, vice versa.

Lifelong systems have to be in place or..yes...we will simply put the weight back on, which a huge/vast percentage of dieters DO. Even bariatric surgery doesn't guarantee lifelong success as the stats show. Just browse the web or youtube and see the people who've had multiple surgeries and still regain....

Gotta find the system that works for you and it will have to include a system that lets you eat better and, yes, sadly, LESS.

Anyway, if you've read any really good articles, tell us about it.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Day 9 of P5: Thoughts on becoming "less ugly", um..."more pretty?" Also...What sort of prize would you want in a giveaway...and Oh, yeah, that's right, it's supposed to be a CHALLENGE and HARD! And a V-Day pic I turned into Profie Pic...

Tanita-san says I'm 221.8. 

Small downtick. Good. Lagging this week, but hope another whoose is a-coming.

Beautiful day today in Miami. Thoughts of beauty have been swirling in my brain in tones of aqua, lavender, and minty green. :) A scosh of raspberry pink here and there for delight.

I think because I've gotten so many compliments the last few days--from strangers, neighbors, and family--that I'm thinking, "Okay, I guess I'm less ugly."

See, that's how my brain wants to work. So, I tried to do an auto-correct:

"Okay, I'm looking nicer. Enjoy it!"

I have a hard time thinking of myself as anything but homely or averge or plan or, on bad days, just plain butt ugly. I've never been the "pretty" sister. I wasn't the pretty teen. Even my best male friends would tag me as "average". Only those besotted with my charms would venture a compliment about my looks.

I'm not one of the pretty people. Never have been. Though I was cute at times as a kid. I got the pics to prove it. I wasn't a beautiful bride--hubby would dissent here--and I'm not a beautiful middle-aged woman.

I have a hard time sometimes with compliments. I have to stop, unfreeze my brain, and learn to say thank you when someone says, "Wow, you're looking great!" or "You really look good!"

I have to learn to be gracious and less self-critical.

I've seen women who are not standard-beauty  beautiful who consider themselves beautiful, act beautiful, and convince many people they are in fact beautiful. I could learn a thing or two from them. Just act like you are, and people may well start to see that, too.

Well, at nearly 51, I should try something different, yes?

Been thinking I'd like to do a giveaway. I did one on my previous blog...and never did one here. I don't get stuff from sponsors, so I'd pay for it myself.

I have had a lot of insight and value from certain books, and I thought maybe give one of those away. But maybe I should ask:

If you could get something in a contest (and no, I'm not talking cash or a huge prize, cause I ain't Bill Gates here), something modest but useful to your weight loss journey, what would it be?

What's your first choice, and what's your second one?

1. Book
2. Exercise DVD
3. Some exercise item (a fitness circle, a toning ball set, resistance bands)
4. Some low cal or "healthy" food item
5. Inspirational/Motivational audio tape
6. A weight loss reward item: like lipstick or nail polish or a commemorative bead bracelet
7. Some mystery prize you won't know what it is until you get it
8. A gift certificate to Amazon to pick your own "health enhancing" item or weight loss reward

And do you prefer giveaways with some task (write a 25 word blurb about what works best to motivate you, a limerick, an essay, a photo, etc) or one where  you just add your comment with email?

Just wondering as I plan for one for this blog.

Got a cute motivating email from our Fearless Leader. Reminds us we're supposed to be, er, suffering? Um, no, "challenged." Yeah, that's it.

Well, anyone doing the exercises knows it's a challenge. (Really, I'm not the only one dying from the strength ones, right?) And some days, 1200 calories are tough, some days not so much. So, the level of "challenge" varies. But it's supposed to be hard. It's not the Phase 5 DDDY Picnic. It's the Phase 5 CHALLENGE!

Am I challenging myself enough? Well....that's a thing to ponder. How much am I pushing this to do the best I can. Don't wanna waste the opportunities, right? And, hell, there's a killer set of prizes!

So, those are my thoughts today....and now I'm off to workout: Be well. Be very well. Be good to yourself. Call yourself beautiful...and maybe believe it.

Oh, and here's a V-Day pic. I put on a lip gloss I bought last summer for Xmas, but saved for V-Day. Very red! My shoes and purse were red. My top black lace. Hubby said it was sexy. Good. He's the only one I was out to wow:
Red V-Day Lips!

Monday, February 14, 2011

Day 8 of Phase 5: Anime Motivation for Those Fighting the Fat, For Those Under Assault by Cravings or Urges or Food Thoughts, For Those Who Made the Decision to Be Healthy....!

Eating's fine, but the salt attack has hit me. This does take a bit of a toll (it can enlarge appetite and can stall loss for a spell). It's one of my demons I fight against constatly, and I've gotten lots, lots better. Investing in every Mrs. Dash and some other salt-free seasonings has helped. Though, really, even delicious herb blends aren't the same as salt for salt fiends like moi. takes time to get used to less, and I'm working on it.

My mojo is slacking just a litttle, and I feel that, so I'm renewing the fire. I have to be my own cheerleader. That's how it is. Every day, we get up and cheer ourselves on, or the fire goes out too easily. BURN! Wanna BURN!

I had an allergy issue last night that curtailed date night. An eye swelling up (I clearly touched something, maybe my pineapple chunks, and then touched my face) and some eczema. I didn't wanna put on makeup , so we had fun at home. One of the things we did was start watching a well-reviewed and nifty little boxing anime (well, not little, since it goes on for many episodes and the manga is very popular and has a gazillion chapters): Hajime no Ippo.

I was watching episode 3 last night with hubby (whose dad boxed in his youth, and he's a guy who likes watching sports and Ultimate Fighter and stuff, so yeah, up his alley), and I kept thinking how much this applied to FATFIGHTING!

If you're having a hard time, remember, we need to be like young Ippo and have that resolve, that staying power, that refusal to stay down in the face of assaults (of all food kinds, emotional kinds that make us seek food, etc).

In the clip, he's a total newbie (Ippo, that is), who is thrown in the ring (and he's NEVER had gym training) against a seasoned and top-notch fighter, son of a pro, whose been training in technique since childhood. It's a "test by fire" for Ippo arranged by the old-man gym owner to see what Ippo's made of. His mettle. If he really has what it takes to be a boxer.

He does!

Do you and I have what it takes to win the fat fight?

We do! If we choose to have it, right?  Ippo says mid-fight: "I made my decision to be a boxer!"

That boy made his decision and never waivered. That's what it takes to win.

I need to never waiver, even when I fall down--get the hell back up right off. Keep fighting! Ippo says: "I won't fall down. I'm going to be reborn. I'm going to become a boxer."

For us: "I won't stay down. I'm going to be reborn. I'm going to become healthy and goal weight."

Here ya go:

It's got an old-fashioned anime look, and the animation is not the top-notch, fancy, cool stuff that I've gotten used to. But the story and characters and humor are endearing and interesting. Wimpy, good-hearted boy without a dad, constantly bullied in school, gets inspired and gets a dream: to become a boxer. Natural talent and a weird, but enthusiastic mentor (and fun gym characters add to the charm) help him realize his potential. Nice anime. Inspiring, too. Think a bit of Rocky, with a dorkier, sweeter hero.

While he does get knocked out, he's shown what he's made of. Gets back to work. Acquires a top-notch mentor in the old fella, and begins his serious training. It's all good!

Like Ippo, we need help to realize our potential. It can be books, magazines, blogs, a dietitian, a trainer, a forum, a challenge, blogging buddies, whatever. Mentors and allies. We need that to achieve important quests.  All of us in the DDDY challenge phases (and I've been in since the first one) understand that having people support you  matters, and having a tough mentor (ahem) is also good for some of us. (Not everyone wants that, but many people benefit from a voice that calls us on our crap and tells us to get going.)

Get your inspiration wherever you can! It's a real fight for the prize, right?

Yosh! Let's do it!

Happy new week to you all. Let's be amazing!

Sunday, February 13, 2011

Day 7 of Phase 5 Challenge: The Christian Princess amidst the Hasidim Families on the Weekend of Love Pic, A Dearth of Teal for Big Gals, my V-Day Present (not what you'd think)....and not much else to report...other than it's nice not to feel Food F**kery!

Hubby took a pic of me last night at Jerusalem Restaurant. It's a kosher place where a lot of orthodox and Hasidic Jewish families go to eat Middle Eastern, Italian (including really good kosher pizza) stuff. Since they do dairy, no meat natch. But you can get assorted salads and things that I don't order there (knishes, the "pareve" fakey meats, etc). We went Saturday evenings (about 10pm) and the post-Sabbath crowd was there. (They get busy when they open after sundown.)

We were the only non-Jewish folks there last night, and Charles got some looks from the very young boys (with the  forelocks and yarmulkes) cause he didn't have his hair covered. The wives wear the wigs, and all the females wear sleeves and long skirts. I'm used to it. My brother lived in Brooklyn where there is a large, large community of Jews who keep traditional garb and kosher. And I've eaten at this Kosher place since hubby and I were newlyweds (and seen ownership change hands a lot, with quality bobbling from excellent when we started going to not-so-good to okay and around again).

One guy sported one of those impressive big fur hats (I don't know what critter the fur came from, and PETA would have a conniption, but it is beautiful fur, dark brown and silky, like the one in THIS PIC, only darker and prettier, really, as if it was new and a really good critter died for it) and a satiny overcoat with a black-on-black pattern.

(There was this place I used to love going to, a kosher Mexican place 5 minutes' drive away--though they are no longer kosher and we've stopped going since the quality went downhill--where you could get meat, but not dairy, so it was soya "cheese" and "sour cream" on the tacos/fajitas/burritos/etc. But the stuff was delicious and the meat so nice. One time we went during Hanukkah and got free one of those jelly donut things from a traveling group of Hasidim driving a HUGE HUGE mennorah with electrified "flames" lit up to the appropriate day. Loved those jelly donuts! And the good cheer. Everyone was celebratory.)

I must look like a total Jezebel ho to them with my decolletage and red lipstick and snug jeans, but really, I'm not. I'm a good girl. :) Here's one of the pics hubster took:

I was clearly having a good day, yes? And how much do I love this teal color?? One of my fave colors ever, but hard for me to find stuff that fits me in this color. Hard to find this color, period. (Edited to add: I notice uploaded on my 'puter, it looks less teal and more royal blue. it. Rich color and with my almost black hair, it's killing it!)

And here's my Valentine's Day gift from hubby:

Yep. He got his hair highlighted. He has (naturally) dark kinda-mousy blonde with silver (age will do this). He once gave me his hair all blonded up (golden wow-factor blonde) in 2007 as an anniversary gift. Big surprise. I loved it. He got oodles of compliments. Strangers gave him the eye; one woman at the airport told him he was very handsome. He didn't get that attention with dark/mousy blonde. People are weird. He's always been hot!  Heh. He let it go natural for a spell. Yesterday, he came come lightened up. I love it. He's got the Germanic/Hungarian pink-cheeked coloring and hazel eyes to carry off blonde.

Now my hair's darker, his is lighter....nice contrast, yes?

Okay, it's date I gotta go get ready. It's nice to feel not "out of control". The hunger of a couple days ago has taken another vacation. I was at my brother's yesterday, and was able to eat maximum 250 cals even with much temptation (rice and beans, pumpkin soup, bread and butter, chocolate). I took fruit, my snacks, and just ate the lean protein available. Made my own decaf and decaf green tea. Went fine. :)

Wishing you a really beautiful Sunday free of FF and full of cheer and health and good company (cause love is a lot more than just romantic love). Valentine's Day is for lovers and those who are loved in all sorts of ways... imo. Enjoy it!

Saturday, February 12, 2011

Day 6 of P5 Challenge: Sending Weigh-in, Chilly in Miami, flu is "widespread", Wanna Go Right Back To Bed...but it's the WEEKEND OF LOVE, BABY!!!!

::yawn::: It's one of those sleepy days.

I must have slept crappy. I slept 10 hours and totally wanna :::yawn::: do more of that.

Ah, well. I'll go make some coffee and see if that helps.

Tanita-san: 222.4

(One of the 3 weight tries--I always do 3 and take the highest, and sometimes it's all 3 the same, usually it's 2 the same and one either .5 up or .5 down. Today, there  was one 222.2, which looked cute, all those 2s.)

Rounded down, that means I send 222 for the P5 weigh-in. (Last week was 225, rounded up.)  It's pretty much a 2.2 pound loss, which seems right at 1200 calories for me. It ranges from 1.8 ro 2.2 at that level if I exercise consistently as I ought.

Considering how gray, dampish and chilly it was on my walk yesterday early evening, I'm not surprised we have us some lower temps today in Miami. I like chilly SUNNY, dry, clear sky days. Today it's overcast and dampish chilly. Gotta enjoy it, nonetheless. Any not-hot day is cause for celebration for me. It's 58.6, 77% humidity (but the dew point is curl friendly at 51). Pollen is 8 out of 12 and flu activity is "widespread".

A couple people were sniffly at the salon yesterday, so I did the antibacterial hand thing a couple times out of concern. Fortunately, the gal who did my shampoo/condition wore a mask (she was definitely sounding congested).  I didn't wanna catch a bug before my happy events that are in the coming week and a half.  I'm sick too often when hubby takes days off, and he ends up nursing me. I'd rather enjoy his time off with him..making good memories for when we're old and decrepit and crinkled in our rockers, reminiscing.

Well, gonna read some motivational stuff before I embark on a day of controlled healthful's gonna be a mushroom-spinach egg white omelette for breakfast (and yes, the yolks are healthful and I have yolks a couple times a week, but I'd rather save the yolk calories for something else later in the day if I need it--since I'm a night-hunger type. Always gotta keep some spare calories for dinner or late snack. If I was an AM hunger type, I'd just have the yolks and enjoy.)  Truth is, though, I like whole eggs just fine, but I also like the texture of egg whites. :) Well, I just like eggs. :D

Nothing profound to say. I've read some good stuff and keep meaning to link, then I get lazy. It's V-Day long weekend, and I've got on the brain what hubby said yesterday when he got home from work: "Ready for the Weekend of Love?" (Which he followed with canoodling and later in the evening some nice foot rubby while watching TV. Ooooh, I love having my feet manhandled, er, hubbyhandled.)

I am! was my reply.

So, really, would rather get going (yawn, wake up, me, wake up!) to rev up my body to enjoy THE WEEKEND OF LOVE.

(Although, really, every weekend is the weekend of love in this household. I guess this is just a LONGER and more "official" weekend of love, hah.)

Hope your weekend is full of loads of love of all kinds...including enough self-love to stay on your plan (whatever your healthy plan may be). Later...

Friday, February 11, 2011

Day 5 of P5: Walk Done, Hair Done, Valentine's Day Red Shoes (and feet / ankles no longer bloated fat, so they look CUTE!), having to curtail the binge urge last night and how I did it, and a recommended bit of posting for binge-eaters....

I finally got around to having my hair done. Hadn't had my grays done since September of last year (five months) and hadn't had a trim in 2 months, so I was looking a bit "gray" and a scosh unkempt.


Hair was still damp when I got home to change my top and go do my walk. Met a fitness trainer on the walk (muscles!) and a cute German Shepherd whose owner was having to chase him down. (He had tags, but was loose, I guess). I spoke to him nicely just in case: "Hi, doggie. Don't bite me, k?"

It was cool tonight, damp, and the air was oddly hazy-smoky. I always carry my inhaler with me (I'm asthmatic) and yes, had to use it. Normally, I don't. It's a "just in case I run into allergens" thing.

Now that my hair is spruced up, I'm ready for Valentine's Day (hubby is taking it off, yippee!) and my birthday. Since we've been doing a lot more walking on date nights, I've worn sneakers. BUT...didn't wanna wear sneakers Valentine's Day, so I got nice red suede flats I can use on my birthday, too:

Very comfy. Nice roomy toebox. I could walk a bit in these, dance some, and not feel like my feet will have revenge on me. :D

If anyone here is not familiar with Escape From Obesity blog and Lyn's journey, you may wanna check out what she's been posting this week. It might be helpful for others who, like Lyn and me, have had issues with binge-eating. The "Dominaton by the FF-Binge Monster" events have stayed away from my door for many moons now--for which I am so grateful--but I am not so dumb as to think he's not prone to lurking. One has to always be on the lookout for the sings of incipient madness re food.

That doesn't mean the urge doesn't hit now and then. It means I haven't caved and let the FF-BM win.

Yesterday, more specifically LAST NIGHT, was one of the hard nights. After an extended vacation somewhere not near my house, he came calling.  The ordeal of major-quantities-of-food temptation. The wanting to be bulging-stuffed-filled temptation. The nights when you wanna dive into a barrel of pepperoni rolls, slurp up a vat of cream of potato soup with scallions and cheese on top, eat two pounds of filet mignon drenched in peppercorn sauce, sink your teeth into a thousand cheddar crackers with peanut butter, dip five baguettes into olive oil with garlic, and finish it off with a pound of dark chocolate or a gallon of real chocolate mousse with chocolate curls and whipped cream.

Food was on the brain. Unfortunately....all but dinner calories were used up when the monster hit. I had a high-fiber dinner in the hopes of curtailing the binge.

Not enough. Not nearly enough.

I fed the monster water. I fed it decaf coffee and tea.  I fed it wise words about goals and dreams and accountability and self-control and not messing up the progress and how this, too, will pass, and how sleeptime was near, and how I could hold on, cause it's not like I was being tortured or abused or actually starving. It was just FOOD. Just a desire for FOOD.

After a couple hours of wrangling with the brain and belly, I had an extra snack. It calmed down. I went 120 cals over, but I short-circuited the binge.

I suspect if I had had the extra snack right off, I'd have had another and another and another. I pretty much had to do some delaying--the fluids, the self-talk--in order to get to a place where the calmer brain and hunger met. Then I could do something.

I've done great staying UNDER 1200 to up to 1200. I don't like going over anymore. I know the results are better the closer I hew to just under 1200.

But some nights, you fight the good fight and do what you can to keep from doing something WORSE. You just keep battling and hope this time you WIN.

I won. I gave a little ground, but not enough to derail me.

Today, it's been fine. Nice filling veggie egg white omelette and some delicious gourmet coffee. Was out and missed lunch, so had a bit under 300 cals so far. Will have lunch No freaky appetite thing going on. Maybe this is one of those sane nights. :) Yes. Please.

I wish you sane nights and happy days and good health this weekend. Remember to mail in your weigh-in, challengers! (Incuding me!)

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Making Exercise Beautiful....Making the Time Exercising Useful to the Interior, not just Exterior....Looking for bliss, I guess...

Since I began walking due to the Phase 4, I've made an effort to make my time walking beautiful. It makes it pleasurable, even when my ankles are killing me:

~I try to find prettier streets in the neighborhood. Ones with trees or houses I enjoy looking at. I found a small enclave of Mi-Mo homes. It cheers me up.

~I think thoughts of healing. I talk to my joints and muscles. I ask my body to heal. I focus on proper posture, make small corrections with each step as needed. I focus on balance, a clear stride, on a beautiful posture.

~ I meditate on a piece of poetry or a haiku (small enough to focus) a bit of beautiful lyrics from a song or a Bible verse. I just let my mind play with the beauty of the words or thoughts.

~I pray. Sometimes, just for the people I pass. If I see an older person puttering in their yard with a cane in hand, I pray for their joints to be healed or free of pain and for their relatives not to forget them. If I see a lady who looks like she's rushing home from work with groceries, I pray for her to find ease in preparing her evening's meal and for her children to appreciate it. If I pass a tree that looks ailing, I pray for it to be rid of its pests. If it's rush hour, I pray for drivers to be safe. If I see another heavy person walking my route, I pray for them to get healthy and keep exercising and get home safely.

If there were a kyudo club in my area, I'd take it up. If find the practice aesthetically and meditatively beautiful. The ritual of it. The posture. The outfits. The actual weaponry. The focus. The gloves, even--and the 3-fingered glove when the hand is in shooting position, it's one of the most erotic things to me. Absolutely makes me kinda giddy. I find it entrancing, the way I find the movement of the feet in kendo entrancing The kyudo tradition of including serenity and beauty and unity, even when using a dangerous thing (bow and arrow), ravishes me.

Taisen Deshimaru in The Zen Way to the Martial Arts (1982) wrote:
Who releases the arrow? When is it released? When body and consciousness are one and perfectly detached; then the arrow flies freely to its target. The shooting stance is also important; it must be beautiful, harmonious -- both inside and outside the body.

I sometimes am in a nice zone in Pilates where my interior is as busy and productive as my exterior, but sometimes, I'm just telling myself, "Yes yes, you can do this, can get through this, breathe in, breathe out, you're a warrior..GAH!"


But walking, when I start with pain (hips) and end sometimes with pain (ankles, knees) has a pace and duration that allows me to just be within myself and with my body in a strange sort of way that, yes, can be amazingly cosmic and expansive.

I don't like making walking about counting steps. I count calories and I keep a time frame for exercise, but the walking itself...I just want to BE and BECOME. If that's Zen, fine. If that's spiritual, fine.

I just want exercise to become something so beautiful I cannot live without it. I want movement to bring me crazy pleasure, delirious pleasure. I want to end up seeing it as a joy.

So, this is one way.

How do YOU do your walking? Do you find ways to make exercising beautiful and pleasurable and not just utilitarian?

I'd like to know...

Day 4 of P5: Who is your diet enemy? Who is your Diet friend? You may be surprised.....and will update again later as Pilates calls....

Tanita-san: 222.8

Nice to see a little downward tick. If I had had a full sleep, I bet even lower.

Pilates in an hour, so this is rushed. But I did want to make a point after the brouhaha with the breakfast banquet of crap blogging incident:

Who among your commenters/supporters/online pals really is your diet friend and who really is your diet enemy?

The person who doesn't let your rationalize, make excuses, or wallow is your friend. The person who lets you continue uncalled-on for unhealthful and even dangerous behavior is not your diet friend.

Sometimes, the people who want you most to get healthy will say things that are blunt and seem hurtful. Truth is often hurtful. Seen how Jesus got reactions for telling the truth? Yeah....stuff can get you manhandled or worse.

I can sometimes cross the line (like anybody), and I can get snippy and bossy. But one thing I will tell you now: If I comment on your weight loss blog, it's cause I want you to succeed. I want to succeed and I want others to succeed, cause I know how much being obese sucks. I have lived it, do live it (though less obese now).

We wit food addicitons, binge eaters, disordered eaters, or just overeaters who have stayed fat for a spell, we have a positive gift for rationalizing when we want to eat and overeat. We'll find the excuse. The people who really care will not let us keep blinders and delusions in our eyes.

Sometimes, Allan, our challenge leader, will send an email that says, "PUT THE FORK DOWN. STOP EATING ALREADY."

You know what....that's not tactful. But for chronic overeaters, that is precisely what the hell we need to do, among other things. Yes, we need to address the emotional stuff, the routines, the strategies, the flaws in our routines and strategies. We need to address anxiety issues, medical issues, depression issues, stress.....

But we also need to be clearly told when we're EFFING UP to stop EFFING UP!

There is no ONE perfect way to lose weight. One can lose weight eating at goal calorie levels or VLC. I've seen it done both ways. I've seen people maintain beautifully (though, yes, the minority). If we want to be one of those minority people who've lost oodles and kept it off, the truth is essential.

We have to put the EFFING FORK DOWN and we need to make wiser food choices.

Treats have to be that...treats. By definition, treats aren't something you get massive quantities of routinely. They are lesser quantities or they are rare.

If you say, "I eat well 80% of the time"...guess what? That means you eat like crap 20%. If you don't think 20% crap is a lot, put 80% pure water in a glass, then put 20% tainted water. Still think 20% isn't a lot?

Take your fave pair of shoes. Leave 80% sparkling clean and pristine. Now scuff up and rub dog poo on 20%. Do those shoes still look nice on you? Still wanna wear em to a banquet or wedding?

A treat doesn't even have to be total crap. One can choose a trans fat and sugar laden donut. Or one can choose a home-made sugar-free chocolate with tart montmorency cherries imbedded. It's a treat, it's sweet, but it's good for you. Or you could choose the fattiest, sugariest ice cream on the block and eat a pint of half-gallon, or you could try something less sugary, less fatty and have half a cup.

I adore my husband. I'd take a bullet for him. I'd throw myself on a grenade to save him. So, am I gonna serve him up a fried, fatty feast and throw in a couple chocolate cake slices to top it off, or am I gonna set before him the fresh fruits and veggies and lean proteins that will keep him chugging along beautifully as much as God allows?

We foodies tend to make food rewards. Food should not be rewards in this society with blooming childhood diabetes and strokes. Obesity is a huge, huge, huge, pressing issue. American eat like crap. We need to stop making the reward cake and cookies and donuts. We need to accept that perfection is not necessary, but sanity and logic should be put in place.

And if food is the reward, let's make a chilled fresh watermelon or a ripe plum or an icy smoothie made with fresh ingredients be the reward. Not Dunkin Donuts and McDs and Baskin Robbins.

Every kid in my family in the "born in the 60's and 70's" started out thin. Heck, the boys were downright bony. Now we're all fat. Just cause kids are thin in the metabolism high stage doesn't mean that the food lessons they learn won't come back to bite them in their obese butts down the road. It did us. We were allowed to eat crap and use our allowances for candy and have sugary cereals. And here we need of radical food choice changes....

Oh, look, I gotta go. I guess this wasn't short at all...

So, reconsider who really means you well. Who really wants what is good for you. When the preacher in our church admonishes us lovingly to eschew self-destructive tihgns for the higher good, it may seem harsh and restrictive, but if God says "do not"...there's usually a good reason. What seems to wound may be for one's one curing...

Think about that when some comments SEEM mean. They may simply be...truth.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Day 3 of P5: Using Regret as a Spur (or Carrot, take your pick) so I have a better tomorrow, if not the ideal that could have been; and deciding I need to stop commenting today for all our sakes!

Scale is steady. Happens after a whoosh, so I'm fine. :)

Got a lot to do today, so not feeling much like blogging, but I did visit a few blogs to comment. Decided I better stop, as I was starting to be, well, a bit tactless, perhaps. :-/

It's not that I feel mean or anything, or that I'm PMS (no more of that here); but I notice I was just being too blunt, a bit less gentle, and for comments, this is not necessarily a good thing.

So, forgive me if I offended y'all; nothing wicked was meant by it. One situation did anger me, and I got all defensive.

Sometimes, I do feel "defensive" for other challengers; sometimes, I feel really worried for folks living in their obese rationalizations/delusions. We all were (or still are sometimes) there to some degree. It doesn't help. We need to leave some crap behind if we're to get healthy and stay healthy. It's a helluva hard journey. Blinders off, but not compassion, yes?

Okay, eating's been great. Appetite's been fine, nice and mellow. Muscle-building going on. Water getting downed.

I watched one of my fave J-Rock vids today. Again. For like the 20th time since I first saw it a couple months or so ago. I love the inclusion of capoeira "dancers-fighters" in contrast to the slick-cute J-band members.  Ranbu no Melody (Savage Melody or Wild Melody in translation).

I look at those amazingly toned, exquisitely lean, beautifully agile and flexible male bodies and think: I fricken wasted my damn "body life". I did want to do dance lessons as a kid, but we were pretty darn poor and who had money for such things? Living in the "ghetto" and mom working extra to pay for Catholic school and medical expenses for a sickly kid, who had moolah for ballet?

I wish I could travel back. I'd want to do something really tough on the body. Get strong and "cut" and lean back when my joints hadn't been damaged by years of morbid obesity. Back when my pancreas wasn't driven to exhaustion. When my adrenals and connective tissue hadn't been shocked by decades of corticosteroids. Maybe it would have changed things significantly? Dunno.

I use that regret to spur me on today. It made me put on my workout clothes and get my new sneaks (nice pair of Asics that arrived yesterday) and go out and do what I can NOW.

I want to get to a more normal weight and, if money allows (and maybe I'll have to budget like mad or cut back on Pilates to make it happen), I'd like hubby and I to take up something we can do together that's consistent and ACTIVE. We've talked about aikido and kendo. We've talked about taiko (those drum classes are tough, with calisthenics and stretching before hand, and hours of near non-stop drumming. I know. We've tried them. Was sore for a week and could barely use my arms and fingers.)

Since we both are into Japanese culture, it seems like something like kendo or aikido will be most likely. The other possibility--which hubby has done in the past--is Gracie style JiuJitsu. It may be too tough for us oldies with our issues.

But I want to see possibilities. I cannot recapture my youth. I cannot get back an undamaged body. BUT...I can do WHAT I CAN DO.

Every day. Do a bit more. Try harder. Work more courageously to get a body that isn't a bearer of regrets for what I did not do when I could have.

I already have made progress. I can walk faster when I'm out and about. I can carry oodles of groceries. I can get into more flexible positions in whoopsie. I have more energy. I can do my toenails without problems. I can park far in a parking lot without dread. In fact, I'll do that on purpose to get more activity in. I do not fear stairs like I used to. My knees still hate them, but less weight and more muscle means I can actually climb them. :)

Progress is motivational. Progress removes bits of the regrets embedded in my flesh...

So, today, don't do anything you will regret. Don't overeat. Don't "not" exercise. Don't lack faith in your ability to transform. Don't rationalize that "extra helping" or crap food item. It's not worth it. Eat the healthful food in modest portions and drink your water/fluids. Move. Rest. Believe...

That's what I will focus on today. WHAT I CAN DO to allow me to do what I WANT TO DO!

The fat's gotta go....

Here's the video I mentioned, and the translation in English of the lyris can be found HERE:

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Day 2 of Phase 5: Where I had a nice whoosh, where I am not looking forward to the "strength" portion of our regimen, and where the itch-that-will-not-leave makes me think, "hmm, should I just buy enough CortAid to fill up a bathtub and wallow?", chatting with a Mexican Restaurateur...and why I'm glad I never went on ACTOS....

Tanita-San: 223.0

I was hoping to be 224 even today. My body decided to surprise me. Okay!

That's 76 lbs down.

I am slathered in all sorts of anti-itch creams. Whatever toxin those babies pumped into me when they bit (unless I have some sort of weird disease of which I am not aware), the itch will not leave. It's making me a little cranky! The big ugly hot-pink bumps aren't attractive, I confess, and that makes me crankier. If this doesn't quell soon, I'm gonna have to visit the dermatologist, who last saw me August last year, when I had some bad heat/MSM rash.

Ate fine yesterday. Water fine. Lots of caloric burn via exercise (no doubt the cause of previously mentioned nice surprise.)

I looked over today's challenge exercises. Imagine my shudder. ; )  Looks really tough. And I have sore triceps already from yesterday's workout.....onward! No fear! (false bravado)

Had a chat with the owner of our fave Mexican restaurant when I went there after Pilates to get a grilled chicken on organic mixed greens salad. (I ate half the salad, have half for today.) Mentioned how it's hard to eat out these days for me, so I don't go out every night like we used to and so haven't been there as often. Chatted about what was on plan, not on plan.

He mentoned their expansion for April (they are taking over the area next door) and how he plans to have breakfast options. I asked, "Any diet friendly?" He said they'd have egg white omelets with spinach/veggies and goat cheese, mentioned some other things. I said, "Well, as long as they can be prepared to order for dieters, like with minimal oil, dry veggies--not grilled in oodles of oil first--easy cheese,etc."

I mentioned this--though I did not tell the following to the owner-- cause one of the cooks there--and I know for a fact, cause I speak Spanish and heard him grumbling once when I made a "diet request" order--grumbled about special requests and why y people can't eat it the way he makes it.  Here is what I had asked that time: grilled chicken burrito with no rice or sour cream added to it.  Hardly a huge deal, right? In fact, they save money not giving me two items, no? The burrito was a new added item, a stuffed version that I had there months ago, as they tended to stick too more traditional stuff, and they still don't do cheddar cheese or regular sour cream--they use queso fresco and "table cream" which is very liquidy almost--nor do they have "crispy tacos" only soft ones. Killer fresh-made fire-roasted tomato salsa.

That grumbly cook had left a rather unpleasant feeling--if you're gonna grumble, don't do it so loudly that customers hear, right?-- and I didn't go back to eat there for several weeks.

Anyway, the owner was pleasant about it and made no indicaton that such requests were problematic (it, less cheese, less oil, etc). In fact, turns out he's pals with my R.D. :) Small world.

There's one of those legal commercials on now about ACTOS (a drug) and how it can cause X and Y and how you might have a claim.  I remember how several years ago, when I was adding on the poundage like mad, and the endocrinologist was talking about putting me on Actos. She talked about how promising it was for patients like me with Metabolic Syndrome, as it improved more than blood sugar.

I said I wanted to lower my blood sugar on my own. I changed how I ate and over the next few months (though I only lost 5 lbs), I got my sugar in the normal range. Changing the composition of meals (eating BETTER, not eating sugar, eating whole grains instead of refined, adding cinnamon, etc). Just goes to show how potent diet is, even if you are still overeating and not eating perfectly. It's powerful stuff.

I'm glad I didn't take that drug--now that reports of its increasing risk of heart failure has been reported. And I wish I could get off all the meds I take, but the only one I have control over is the high blood pressure (which dose has been cut in half last month due to my weight loss and I'll soon be off it, yes!)  I have to take the thyroid ones (or I'll die). I have to take the asthma/allergy ones (or I cannot function, cause my nose will run, my asthma attacks will increase, my eyes will water, my nose will stuff up, and it'll be like having permanent case of a cold.....).

But what we can control....that we should. Hm...right? :D

So, I'm craving some green tea....later. Happy Challenging!

Monday, February 7, 2011

Day 1 of Phase 5: Where I'm Still Itchy and Spotty, Where Pilates and Walking are Done, and Where I'm Liking the Phase 5 Challenger Motivation and Cheer!

It's on! It's begun. 1200 calories of balanced eating, strength and cardio exercises 6x a week, and being accountable to weigh-in once  a week.

Challengers seem a lot more motivated than the previous phases. We've already started email supportive activity. Hurray!

I want to start a new blogroll with challenger blogs so I can check in now and then with my other P5 Peops. P-Fivers. :D Some time this week I'll start putting that together.

Did Pilates today. Did my walking. Knees weren't so cooperative with the jogging part. Geesh.

I've only had 450 calories (rounded) so far, so I have plenty for supper and a night snackie (I am addicted to my yogurt/fruit/nut snack). I've had more than half my water, and will have the rest before/during/after supper, and maybe leave one glass to have with my snackie.

My legs and arms and chest and hairline still have the itchy red bumps. I wore long leggings to walk just in case.

It's just the first day, and it's easy to be pumped the first day of a new challenge phase. Let's keep the momentum and faith in ourselves going. Let's see this as a good first step to lifelong habits of controlled eating and consistent movement.  Let's not drop out..not a single one of us! If someone falters, let's cheer them back up. If someone slow down, let's get some wind at their back. Keep me going....and you keep going.....

Happy Monday!

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Not day 25 of the P4 Challenge: Pic of Friday Date, Packet Received for Phase 5, Itchy and Spotty In Miami!

Eating, fine. Water, fine. Skin...OMG, I'm dying of the itch here!

I must have gotten some sand flea or something bites on my walk. My legs where the capri pants didn't cover are riddled with itchy-as-hell bites. My arms and chest and hairline have some bites, a few, not crazy like my shins/calves--I did stop a few times and bent over to tie sneakers more loosely, must have come within sand flea range. Or whatever biting things these were.

I've covered myself in Benadryl cream, used a prescription cortisone cream--it still ITCHES!!!!!!!!!

I'd finally gotten my hives/eczema/dermatitis skin in some sort of normalish looking state and now, this. The multitude of bites have set off a wider reaction, so I'm feeling a bit off. Taking C, Quercetin, and creaming things up and hoping it will not leave scars. I scar easily. My face is full of pocks and scars and hyperpigmented spots from a  lieftime of acne and dermatitis/eczema, and this annoys me. I start getting to a happy place and, bam. Bugs.


Eating is good. Rereading bits of motivating books to keep me going. Appetite is slumbering nicely--no FF beast in sight these last couple days.

Today, the Phase 5 Challengers got their packets. I'm opened and am reading them. The exercise is me. HAH!  Yes, yes. My default reaction.  Looks tough.

I have no illusion of being one of the grand finalists--unless just about everyone else drops out!--but the secondary prizes are lovely. An iTouch (hubby has one, but who wouldn't want their own), an Amazon Kindle (I have the latest generation, and I like it and was reading some REFUSE TO REGAIN on it today while doing bathroom duty), and an Acer Netbook (don't have one, but would like one, heh).

Not too shabby, huh?

My goal is not to drop out or be asked to. To stick to the plan and stop being obese. The chart says my expected loss will bring me below 186 lbs (the line between obese and overweight). 4 months I can be at a weight I haven't been since THE EIGHTIES! Since before my thyroid dropped dead and I got so sick I had to quit working. Possibilities open up when "obese" drops away, yes....?

Here's a pic of my beloved hubster and myself on the balcony at the opera house at Friday's date night:

Anyway, happy Sunday and may this week bless you in many ways, but specifically with regard to health and weight loss. Later!

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Not day 35 of the P4 Challenge: Grand Prize revealed--whoa--and a great date night, nice dinner out, another loss...and official P5 weigh-in!

Such a lot of laughing and flirting and fun last night. Hilarious round of WWDTM (see previous post) and then dinner at the Hallandale race track, a restaurant with really nice patio areas and some live music/dancing. I stayed safe (grilled chicken with BBQ sauce and salad, used less than a teaspoon of dressing, decaf, water, water, water). Sang along with the band. Flirted even more with hubby. Walked a bit. Had a great date night.

I knew we'd be eating out, but thought we might make it to the Mi-Mo place with the killer veggies. But we didn't get out of the Opera house until almost 11pm, so we headed back nearer home and places open late. Worked out fine.

Weighed in today: 224.6

This is the official Phase 5 weigh-in I mailed to Allan. Down again from yesterday, which was 225.2.

See pic of my feet (red toes! Did them for date night! Much easier to do nails without the extra-deluxe-uber-behemoth belly I used to have) on my Tanita-san. I weighed several times, and came up with 224.4, 224.2, 224.6, 224.4, etc. I went with the higher one (which only came up with the camera weight added, but so's my habit to always take the higher weight of the series. Usually, it's consistent, today, I was more variable cause I had to move the scale to get better light on my feet and the numbers.

I was amused at haing my feet closer together. I bought Tanita-san years ago, cause I needed a wide, wide platform. My fat thighs didn't much let me get my legs closer together. This pic showed me how much comfier and natural it is now to bring my feet closer in. :)

Did you see Allan's blog today? (That is, for those who didn't get the email from him.) Taht's an amazing prize, huh? A beautiful dining spot, a delirious view. The hotel, the spa....Wow.... Someone is in for a treat.

But we know what the biggest, hugest, grandest prize of all is in this Challenge (and any weight loss challenge). Gaining health, getting to goal, reducing the risk (or healing from) metabolic issues like diabetes, improving cardiac health, gaining muscle and balance and strength, and finally learning to eat like a normal healthy person in order to eat that way FOR LIFE.... That's the BIG WIN!

We can't all get the Grand Prize. from Allan. We can get the Grandest of All Prize for ourselves if we stick with the program, move, eat smart and clean and LESS, and learn the daily strategies to make it stick.

Let's all be grand prize champions in this fat fight! Happy Saturday!

Friday, February 4, 2011

Not Day 33 of P4 Challenge: Appt with Dietitian, The Change of Mindset She Noticed and I Notice, Chat with Waitress, Bright COLORFUL Top and Lipstick, Happy Curls....and date night's a coming!

Today's weigh-in at home was 225.2. At the R.D.'s: 225.0

I had lost 4.5 lbs since my appt with her 2 weeks ago. That's par for me. At 1200 calories (sometimes less, not often a bit more), I lose 2 lbs a week, maybe 2 and a scosh if I have a lot of under days in that week. I know others at that caloric range with regular exercise lose faster, but that's how my wonky, hypothyroidic, insulin-resisstant body rolls.

And 2 lbs a week is great. It means I can lose 100 in a year at that rate. And I don't need to lose 100 anymore. I realized this lately as I still get email from the Blog to Lose group for those needing to lose 100+ lbs. I'm not longer one seeking that kind of loss, not after a 74 lb loss. I want to get to 160--more or less, I'm not like fanatical on the number, it's just a goal right now, and it's not even a skinny goal--and that's 65.2 lbs away. I have less to lose than I have lost. I like that asymmetry. My brain says: "If you can lose 74, you can lose 65."

The dietitian was thrilled. Lost 1% of fat in those two weeks. My motivation is still high. She says I am inspiring ad she asked me if I'd consider being a motivational speaker at one of the dietitian conferences. I said if local, sure. :) She said I ought to write a book. I said, "Well, I need to get to goal and stay there for a while before I can do that. I don't want to be one of those folks who loses a bunch of weight, gets a book contract, writes it, releases it, and then regains a bunch of weight." I've been reading blogs and books about MAINTAINING weight loss s (not that there are that many books, mind you. But there are blogs of successful maintainers.

There is no fricken point in losing the weight if you can't keep it off, I figure. So, I started trying to get into the brain/habits/journey of maintainers last summer. I realize that "dieting" doesn't end. Maintaining is like being on a lifelong diet. If I can't tolerate eating, say, 1400 or 1500 calories for life, there is no point. None. Might as well stay fat. Because to lose it just to regain would depress me no end.

I look at the 1200 plan as a sort of bootcamp. If I can do 1200 and learn to be satisfied with this much less, learn the tricks of assuaging appetite and dealing with cravings and saying no to seconds, and portion control, then going up to 1400 or 1600 will seem like heaven. It's another snack or a bigger dinner.  I've done several 1000 calorie and 900 calorie days without much hunger. I think of it as training for a life of eating much less than my obese, out of control self wants to. I have read and researched as if I was getting yet another college degree. I want epiphany after epiphany.

Is it easy. Hell no. Just getting into regular exercise (which I started to do in June of 2008) has been enlightening. I still don't WANT to get up and exercise. I do know that I feel so immensely better when I do, and I like the muscles under the skin, that it's a matter of reward. Heck, if I were rich, I'd have a trainer come six days a week and run me through an hour to an hour and a half of serious work-outing. :) But I don't have that moolah. I'd do it, though. The rewards are tangible.  Want multiple orgasms? Get that pelvic floor work done in Pilates. Your G spot will go insane. I kid you not. :D That's ONE benefit. Just one.

So, I'm not the gung-ho lemme do sit ups kind of gal. I am the "Okay, this sucks, but you know you'll feel better when it's done. You'll feel like a champ. So do it!"  I may take an hour or two to talk myself into it, but I'm learning to that more times a week, and that's all it takes. Consistency and lifelong adherence Like dieting: It's for life if you've been obese. For life. Or it comes back.

I don't want to waste this effort. I'm terrified of going back. So, I tell myself--this is it. Can you eat thi way for life? And I say:"I'm going to. That's it. I'm going to."

Resolution doesn't come easy for me, but if there isn't commitment, there's failure. I'm smart enough to know that there's no magic. It's just deciding there is no other option. Do it. Stay fat. Do it. Stay fat. Only choices.

I've had two folks this week tell me I should go on Dr. Oz or "TV" and I say, "Well, lots of weight loss stories out there. I'm not at goal and I haven't maintained. So, why should I go on tv. I want to see people who kept it off 5 years, 10 years, 15 years, not the person who just lost it last week."

When I maintain: Then I can boast. When I've maintained: Then I get my reward trip to Tuscany. :D

If I don't have to spend the moolah tucking the tummy. Weeeeeellllll.....

Anyway, had a spinach and mushroom egg white frittta, minimal oil, as per my request, lowfat swiss, coffee, a couple tablespoons of grits for flabor, then set it aside, as I don't need to starch it up. The waitress and I got talking. She lost 82 lbs, regained a bunch, is out to lose again. We sort of commisserated about our stress-emo-eating tendencies. Chatted about food, healthier eating. Was nice to know another journey-sharer. She made sure my omelette was as dry of oil as possible--a dieting waitress knows the score. :) Lots of spinach. Yum.

I'm wearing more color these days. At 299 pounds, at 279, 250, you still wanna hide. I'm still severely obese, but I feel confident enough to want to wear color. Today, a magenta top and magenta lipstick and very perky happy curls. I felt cute. :D Middle-aged, fat, cute. :D

Which is good as hubby will be home soon and it's off to our date night. I intend to get lotsa smooching and laughing done.

I already called that restaurant with the amazing grilled romaine (with balsamic). If the show ends early enough, we'll hit it for a late supper. I'm skipping a full lunch and just doing fruit and protein snack to cover me until we're able to dine. Water, decaf, small snack....and then tell the stomach to shut the F up until I have time to feed it. :D

Anyway, yesterday I ended at well under 1200 calories, exercises as already posted, and my mood is...GREAT. I've been singing in the car, at CVS, in the restaurant, in the parking lot.

Phase 5 is almost here. Remember to send your weigh-ins to Allan. I'm sending mine tomorrow so I don't forget or sleep late and miss it Sunday. I want us to really shine and do well--all of us--and be healthier and happier and have great Big Os and walk without pain and huffing and puffing and go up stairs without dying from being unfit and all the other good things that come from eating properly and moving soundly.

Let's be well together!!!!!

Later...I gotta iron something pretty for date night.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Not Day 32 of Challenge: The walk interruption, the calm again appetite, the beautifully warm day...and a fun outing for tomorrow...

Yesterday, I didn't do a lick of exercise, well, other than a wee bit of dancing and whoopsie. Stayed under 1200 cals. Drank my water.

Today, have had fewer than 600, so have plenty for supper and maybe a snack, too. I like doing the evening yogurt/fruit/nut thing. Seems to have a nice effect on my sleep. Did not have the "crazy and wanna eat" feeling last evening. None of that today, either. I did have a craving for buttered toast, but I swatted that aside.

Also today: Pilates session, walking.

The walking got interrupted. My left foot went numb way earlier than usual and I had to slow down. A lady I wave to snagged me for an intro and convo. Nice lady with a cool Mi-Mo home (think fifties, stone work, Lloyd-Wright influence, nice woodwork). She liked me enough after a 40 minute chat that she showed me inside her house. I love Mi-Mo homes, so no problemo. She was a widow and I guess needed some human company. Friendly. Nice. Good to know someone on my walking route, too, for safety's sake. And she's usually outside puttering when I walk, hence the "waving" habit.

Resumed walk when it was dark, with beautiful sky and dark trees.

A little hungry, not much. I've hit the water enough that it keeps the stomach un-grumbly.

Today was warm. I wanted some of the cold from the North, but we got a/c weather until near sundown, when temp and breezes were great for the walk.

Tomorrow, we go see a live show of WAIT, WAIT, DON"T TELL ME (which I mentioned before is my fave NPR show). Hubby got tickets. I have no idea what to wear. It's at the opera house (and that makes me think dress up some), but it's a comedy live show (which makes me think "jeans"). Oh, well. It will be my first time at the new complex downtown for music/dance/performances. Kinda excited. If it doesn't let out too late, maybe we can hit a MiMo restaurant for supper. Not sure. Better have a snack before we go. And not too much water. I don't wanna get up every 25 mins to pee. Pity we couldn't see the Thursday one, since that has Mo Rocca, my fave panelist! BUT.Friday's has Dave Barry, and he cracks me up. So, it's all good, right?

Oh, just remembered. Have an appointment with the R.D. tomorrow. Oops...better plan out the day...I may need to go buy undies for the night out. Don't wanna be a saggy bottom gal.

Later, peops. Be healthier by a bit today...

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Phase 4 Cancelled,, is it still day 31? hah Uncertainly about challenge status for moi...but the scale moved. Yay!

Yesterday, Allan called off Phase 4. It was pretty shocking to a lot of us, so, well, the air was a tad in the "bummed out" zone, if you read the comments on his blog.

Today, he announced a new phase starting Monday. He wants adherence and those who won't adhere to take a hike.

I emailed him that I wanted in. I expect it to continue to be tough...but worth it. :)

On to the scale:

Tanita-san says: 225.6

Wow. Fewer than 10 lbs to be out of the "severely obese" category. I'm so stoked to see 216. I want to get there................NOW!!!! hahah

Anyway. Was still feeling the munchies evening time and it was hard, hard, hard to say no last night. But....the scale shows the battle was worth it.

I was hoping we'd get some of that cold you guys are getting all over the more northernly/westernly places. I don't like to hear my a/c running or feel "warm". I wanted more chilly days!

It's Groundhog Day...and I wonder what Phil says about winter. ; )

I hope he says Miami will get a bunch more cold fronts!

I feel really boring today, so maybe I'll cut this short. This is Valentines and Birthday month, so I got some planning to do. I want to celebrate well and STAY IN MY CALORIES and eat healthfully and move and see at least 8 pounds gone by month's end.

It's a short month, but I want to see it shine, shine, shine for me!

Happy well....

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Day 30 of Phase 4 Challenge: Where I'm back after just not feeling the blogging mojo, where salt is siren calling, where I distract myself with hot J-Rock , and where I offer pics of my weekend outings and my body at 226!!

Tanita-san: 226.2

A bit of stasis.

I've been hitting the salty foods a lot since Saturday evening, and it always has this effect. Affects the scale. Affects appetite: yeah, it does. Don't know about you, but when I have multiple salty things, I get HUNGRIER, so it's time to ease back and fast. I was VERY VERY VERY hungry last night, and I didn't like that at all. It was hard to say no. I was in a fight for hours with my appetite.

Calories: 1273
Exercise: Pilates with trainer, walking (25 mins)
Mood: still lethargic, energy a bit low
Hunger:Crazy later in the day (but higher than last week all weekend)

I am not happy that the appetite is back, but I'll hit the decaf tea and coffee and keep the tummy warm and filled as best I can until the low appetite returns.

Energy was great Saturday and Sunday for parts of the day (low on others), but yesterday I woke up feeling like I needed more sleep. (And I have been sleeping more, 10 and 12 hours sometimes). Usually I'd think thyroid...but I'm pretty sure it's not that. We'll see.

Today, I woke up after sleeping 11 hours, and I'm mellow. Hunger has been quieter. Don't feel like exercising....but I'll do something. Will force myself.

I've had to distract my appetite. Here's one example of a distraction:

If you like anime, you may recognize the song as the opening theme for TRINITY BLOOD. It's one of my fave J-Rock tunes, originally released 1993 by Buck-Tick, whose lead singer, Sakarai Atsushi is one of the most beautiful J-Rockers ever, and he's not young anymore in this video. The band began in the early 80s. This is actually footage from an Abingdon Boys School concert, one of my fave JRock bands, and Takanori (lead singer) has a great voice. But no one sings "Doresu"(DRESS) like Sakurai-san. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.  Love this performance. Gave me chills!

If ya wanna see a nice performance when he was younger and had the long, flowing, black, silky hair ya go.   So beautiful. Makes me woozy.

The weekend was great, btw. Hubby and I had a date night both evenings, Saturday  in Coral Gables. Since I needed to get in a walk--well, I had done more than my minimum 4 days walking, but wanted to do more--so we walked 30 minutes (we both wore sneakers, so it was fine) before choosing an outdoor cafe for supper.

Sunday, we went to Bayside at the MiaMarina, took a night sightseeing cruise (it was soo nice and cool), danced to a live band at the bayfront, then had supper at Hard Rock Cafe. I appreciated the waitress being so nice about my specs--you know the drill if you low-carb or diet: little to no oil, dressing on side, no tortillas, etc. Lots of decaf and water. We walked a lot there, too, as parking was at the other end from where Hard Rock. Probably 20 mins of walking.

Interesting personal note: Where HRC is now used to be, in the early 80s, an upscale eatery called Reflections on the Bay. Hubby and I got engaged there in '82. We told the hostess and she got us a table at windowside (the only one!) and we had a view of the bay a bit different (Bayside wasn't the bustling tourist/nightlife place it is now) from our younger dating days. But it was romantic all the same. Reflections on the Bay had large windows all with views out to the nice.... Gosh, time flies....

Pics: First one, with very unflattering lighting, eesh, is a couple feet from where we sat outdoors for dinner with Coral Gables city hall lit up prettily behind me. We had a nice view of the sky, city hall, the one end of Miracle Mile with posh shops and lovely lights in the trees. It was damp and cool, but not unplesantly so.

One of Jimi Hendrix's surviving guitars (I guess a lot of them got immolated or shattered, hah.) Hard Rock Cafe on Sunday, natch:

I took body shots today, caue though the scale is the same as Friday, I "felt" different in the torso:

Hubby said to me on our date Sunday that he didn't think I looked as big as "226" lbs. Well, folks don't go around saying how much they weight to me to compare, but this is 226 on me. I wear 2x, some generous 1x, 20 and 22 sizes, and I've noticed some folks who weigh a lot more than me wear smaller sizes. So, you never know. Build matters.

Now to google if Genmaicha has carbs...cause I like it's grainy flavor. I like it enough to drink unsweetened, which is great. The box says no, but man, it really tastes like nuttry-grain. Mmm.

Off I go to resist the Demon of Sodium....

Happy Tuesday. Make it count for health!