Friday, February 11, 2011

Day 5 of P5: Walk Done, Hair Done, Valentine's Day Red Shoes (and feet / ankles no longer bloated fat, so they look CUTE!), having to curtail the binge urge last night and how I did it, and a recommended bit of posting for binge-eaters....

I finally got around to having my hair done. Hadn't had my grays done since September of last year (five months) and hadn't had a trim in 2 months, so I was looking a bit "gray" and a scosh unkempt.


Hair was still damp when I got home to change my top and go do my walk. Met a fitness trainer on the walk (muscles!) and a cute German Shepherd whose owner was having to chase him down. (He had tags, but was loose, I guess). I spoke to him nicely just in case: "Hi, doggie. Don't bite me, k?"

It was cool tonight, damp, and the air was oddly hazy-smoky. I always carry my inhaler with me (I'm asthmatic) and yes, had to use it. Normally, I don't. It's a "just in case I run into allergens" thing.

Now that my hair is spruced up, I'm ready for Valentine's Day (hubby is taking it off, yippee!) and my birthday. Since we've been doing a lot more walking on date nights, I've worn sneakers. BUT...didn't wanna wear sneakers Valentine's Day, so I got nice red suede flats I can use on my birthday, too:

Very comfy. Nice roomy toebox. I could walk a bit in these, dance some, and not feel like my feet will have revenge on me. :D

If anyone here is not familiar with Escape From Obesity blog and Lyn's journey, you may wanna check out what she's been posting this week. It might be helpful for others who, like Lyn and me, have had issues with binge-eating. The "Dominaton by the FF-Binge Monster" events have stayed away from my door for many moons now--for which I am so grateful--but I am not so dumb as to think he's not prone to lurking. One has to always be on the lookout for the sings of incipient madness re food.

That doesn't mean the urge doesn't hit now and then. It means I haven't caved and let the FF-BM win.

Yesterday, more specifically LAST NIGHT, was one of the hard nights. After an extended vacation somewhere not near my house, he came calling.  The ordeal of major-quantities-of-food temptation. The wanting to be bulging-stuffed-filled temptation. The nights when you wanna dive into a barrel of pepperoni rolls, slurp up a vat of cream of potato soup with scallions and cheese on top, eat two pounds of filet mignon drenched in peppercorn sauce, sink your teeth into a thousand cheddar crackers with peanut butter, dip five baguettes into olive oil with garlic, and finish it off with a pound of dark chocolate or a gallon of real chocolate mousse with chocolate curls and whipped cream.

Food was on the brain. Unfortunately....all but dinner calories were used up when the monster hit. I had a high-fiber dinner in the hopes of curtailing the binge.

Not enough. Not nearly enough.

I fed the monster water. I fed it decaf coffee and tea.  I fed it wise words about goals and dreams and accountability and self-control and not messing up the progress and how this, too, will pass, and how sleeptime was near, and how I could hold on, cause it's not like I was being tortured or abused or actually starving. It was just FOOD. Just a desire for FOOD.

After a couple hours of wrangling with the brain and belly, I had an extra snack. It calmed down. I went 120 cals over, but I short-circuited the binge.

I suspect if I had had the extra snack right off, I'd have had another and another and another. I pretty much had to do some delaying--the fluids, the self-talk--in order to get to a place where the calmer brain and hunger met. Then I could do something.

I've done great staying UNDER 1200 to up to 1200. I don't like going over anymore. I know the results are better the closer I hew to just under 1200.

But some nights, you fight the good fight and do what you can to keep from doing something WORSE. You just keep battling and hope this time you WIN.

I won. I gave a little ground, but not enough to derail me.

Today, it's been fine. Nice filling veggie egg white omelette and some delicious gourmet coffee. Was out and missed lunch, so had a bit under 300 cals so far. Will have lunch No freaky appetite thing going on. Maybe this is one of those sane nights. :) Yes. Please.

I wish you sane nights and happy days and good health this weekend. Remember to mail in your weigh-in, challengers! (Incuding me!)


Anne H said...

Click Those Red Shoes/Ruby Slippers together
and lets get out of Kansas once and for all, Dorothy!
You look great, BTW

Love, Toto xoxo

Anonymous said...

This is so inspiring. The very same thing happened to me last night and now I don't feel so bad about those extra 3 points worth of snacks. Thank you.

gracies tough journey said...

Love the hair, it is really cute on you. I would definitely wear those shoes in a heartbeat. There awesome.Good taste Princess.(Would love to know where you got them)

gracies tough journey said...

Thanks for the link on the shoes. I just ordered them and they are on sale. Sweet. I am so happy.Thank you thank you

Beth said...

I love this wrastlin' match. Coz you won!!!! Yay!!!! It's so important to share these stories, they fortify my mind for the times that I hit the ring with the food. If you can do it, I can do it. Heck, the fact that others have to do this hard work makes it less lonely and draining to fight the fight when the hard times hit.

The winner is: PRINCESS DIETER!!!! Woot!! Woot! ;-)