Thursday, February 10, 2011

Day 4 of P5: Who is your diet enemy? Who is your Diet friend? You may be surprised.....and will update again later as Pilates calls....

Tanita-san: 222.8

Nice to see a little downward tick. If I had had a full sleep, I bet even lower.

Pilates in an hour, so this is rushed. But I did want to make a point after the brouhaha with the breakfast banquet of crap blogging incident:

Who among your commenters/supporters/online pals really is your diet friend and who really is your diet enemy?

The person who doesn't let your rationalize, make excuses, or wallow is your friend. The person who lets you continue uncalled-on for unhealthful and even dangerous behavior is not your diet friend.

Sometimes, the people who want you most to get healthy will say things that are blunt and seem hurtful. Truth is often hurtful. Seen how Jesus got reactions for telling the truth? Yeah....stuff can get you manhandled or worse.

I can sometimes cross the line (like anybody), and I can get snippy and bossy. But one thing I will tell you now: If I comment on your weight loss blog, it's cause I want you to succeed. I want to succeed and I want others to succeed, cause I know how much being obese sucks. I have lived it, do live it (though less obese now).

We wit food addicitons, binge eaters, disordered eaters, or just overeaters who have stayed fat for a spell, we have a positive gift for rationalizing when we want to eat and overeat. We'll find the excuse. The people who really care will not let us keep blinders and delusions in our eyes.

Sometimes, Allan, our challenge leader, will send an email that says, "PUT THE FORK DOWN. STOP EATING ALREADY."

You know what....that's not tactful. But for chronic overeaters, that is precisely what the hell we need to do, among other things. Yes, we need to address the emotional stuff, the routines, the strategies, the flaws in our routines and strategies. We need to address anxiety issues, medical issues, depression issues, stress.....

But we also need to be clearly told when we're EFFING UP to stop EFFING UP!

There is no ONE perfect way to lose weight. One can lose weight eating at goal calorie levels or VLC. I've seen it done both ways. I've seen people maintain beautifully (though, yes, the minority). If we want to be one of those minority people who've lost oodles and kept it off, the truth is essential.

We have to put the EFFING FORK DOWN and we need to make wiser food choices.

Treats have to be that...treats. By definition, treats aren't something you get massive quantities of routinely. They are lesser quantities or they are rare.

If you say, "I eat well 80% of the time"...guess what? That means you eat like crap 20%. If you don't think 20% crap is a lot, put 80% pure water in a glass, then put 20% tainted water. Still think 20% isn't a lot?

Take your fave pair of shoes. Leave 80% sparkling clean and pristine. Now scuff up and rub dog poo on 20%. Do those shoes still look nice on you? Still wanna wear em to a banquet or wedding?

A treat doesn't even have to be total crap. One can choose a trans fat and sugar laden donut. Or one can choose a home-made sugar-free chocolate with tart montmorency cherries imbedded. It's a treat, it's sweet, but it's good for you. Or you could choose the fattiest, sugariest ice cream on the block and eat a pint of half-gallon, or you could try something less sugary, less fatty and have half a cup.

I adore my husband. I'd take a bullet for him. I'd throw myself on a grenade to save him. So, am I gonna serve him up a fried, fatty feast and throw in a couple chocolate cake slices to top it off, or am I gonna set before him the fresh fruits and veggies and lean proteins that will keep him chugging along beautifully as much as God allows?

We foodies tend to make food rewards. Food should not be rewards in this society with blooming childhood diabetes and strokes. Obesity is a huge, huge, huge, pressing issue. American eat like crap. We need to stop making the reward cake and cookies and donuts. We need to accept that perfection is not necessary, but sanity and logic should be put in place.

And if food is the reward, let's make a chilled fresh watermelon or a ripe plum or an icy smoothie made with fresh ingredients be the reward. Not Dunkin Donuts and McDs and Baskin Robbins.

Every kid in my family in the "born in the 60's and 70's" started out thin. Heck, the boys were downright bony. Now we're all fat. Just cause kids are thin in the metabolism high stage doesn't mean that the food lessons they learn won't come back to bite them in their obese butts down the road. It did us. We were allowed to eat crap and use our allowances for candy and have sugary cereals. And here we need of radical food choice changes....

Oh, look, I gotta go. I guess this wasn't short at all...

So, reconsider who really means you well. Who really wants what is good for you. When the preacher in our church admonishes us lovingly to eschew self-destructive tihgns for the higher good, it may seem harsh and restrictive, but if God says "do not"...there's usually a good reason. What seems to wound may be for one's one curing...

Think about that when some comments SEEM mean. They may simply be...truth.


Jen said...

great post!

Karen Butler Ogle said...

I agree. Great post. In what universe is it acceptable to send kids off to school with pancakes and cinnamon rolls in their bellies? Even normal people, non-obese people get the sugar high and then the LARGE crash that follows a sugar binge like that. Truly, there is a certain someone who is getting all kinds of bad feedback that she will listen to because it is not as offensive to her as the blatant truth is. It is sad for her but she is an adult who makes her own choices but it is sadder for the kids are are being TAUGHT how to become obese.

Beth said...

It's true, so true, it's so not okay to enable folks who are killing themselves with a fork. It's tough hearing the truth, especially when you aren't ready to face up to the pain of walking away from the food. I HATED the person who told me the truth about my food and I am not a person prone to hatred. But I wanted to be left the hell alone to eat what I bloody well wanted to eat and for no one to hold me to any accountability.

And if I hear another person say "tough love" I think my head will explode, I dunno why but I cannot bear that phrase - it TRUTH TELLING. And sometimes it's good to keep the old trap shut and sometimes it's good to speak up. There is a time for everything. And I guess we have to use discernment in making that decision.

I tend to err on the side of keeping my mouth shut because I don't have the capacity to deal with any drama or fallout that may follow any plain speaking that I may want to do.

Anyhow, glad you are doing well on the plan, keep on keepin' on.

spunkysuzi said...

Telling the truth to someone is one thing, belittling that person or bullying them is something entirely different. That does not show that you care.

Chubby McGee said...

I prefer it when someone tells me to suck-it-up and to move my ass. I don't like the softy approach. You're totally right. People who are overeaters (like myself) need to be yelled at and kicked in the rump to get the best results. It's not helping if you have someone in your life telling you that it's not soooo bad if you have that slice of cake. Sometimes, you need to have someone in your ear say, "Do you REALLY need that slice of cake?" It's helpful to hear the truth!

I like it ROUGH!

Diandra said...

Talking about excuses... havin dinner right now (yes, in front of the notebook, and yes, I know that's not considered healthy eating, but screw it ^^), delicious pumpkin and beans stew with a bit of meat, and instead of enjoying the serving right in front of me, I found myself looking forward to the next serving!

(I made enough for 2 days.)

What the heck??? I put the plate down and laughed at myself. And now I will finish dinner and call it a day.