1998 pic of hubby and me...compared to Hatsume 2011...and then compared to Hatsume 2012...with some "Princess Dances" pics...

I had hubby scan some old photos I found. I hardly took pics back then (camera avoider even in my younger and skinnier days), but these weren't even at my biggest. I got 50 pounds BIGGER than in these:

Us in 1998, both fat, me very fat, like 250 or so

around 1999

Christmas Eve 1998 in a long kimono to
cover my 250 lbs or so of bulk...

March 2011, the spring festival at Morikami Gardens ("Hatsume"), hubby and I. I'm 220 lbs here:

Hubby and I in 2012 at Hatsume. I'm 182 lbs:

Me and 2 super nice cosplayers:
L: a character from Zone 00 manga
R: Byakuran (a villain) from HITMAN REBORN --
looks good, right?

Kicking up my heels to DJ HeavyGrinder--she's the cute gal in the background:

House/Electronica/Tech/Trance Music be da bombdiggiest!

The fat old dame loves to dance! I was
really sweaty in the full sun for 30 mins,
so I moved to the shade,  but even there,
after an hour, my shirt was kinda soaked!

I got so into it I grabbed the hand of a young cosplayer next to me and just did some salsa moves with her. Tried to get the folks to get up and dance, but really, not a very dancey crowd there. Too bad. DJs ought not go to waste. One fair-goer said to me afterwards, "Wow, you danced a lot."  I said, "Yeah, you should have joined in with your gal." He said she tried to get him to get up and dance, cause she didn't wanna dance alone.

Shoot. I'll dance all by my lonesome as long as the music is good. :D

So, like the song says, "I hope you dance."

Okay, my vlog finally got sent via iPhone (like the 7th try!!!!) and I hope Youtube processes it soon so I can do a retro update for the previous post.

Nite, y'all!

Now, there's a creative (aka nuts) delusion to justify stuffing in the junky sweets

The Sweets Empire Parts 1 and 2

If you've never read Japanese manga online before, you read it right to left, top to bottom. You can click on the page to go to the next one, or hit the "go right" arrow on your keyboard.

This is a two-part story in a series of often dark stories about teens. Madness (transient or otherwise) or surreal escapist fantasies or skewed perspectives figure in many. The author weaves the characters into a very cool finale, complete with an unnatural natural disaster and "new day" sorta hope. It's an ending that lets them...fly...sorta...

In The Sweets Empire, a gal loses a lot of weight in order to confess her love to a boy in her class who favors thin beauties. But she's derailed by ONE spoonful of a sugary treat snuck into her mouth by a mischievous friend. What follows is ...not normal. Binge eaters will identify in part with her reaction!

The ending of her story is victorious for her, and man, some of us need a full-size poster made out of that last panel.  If cakes and sweets are your downfall, take a look at that panel and repeat like the heroine, "I won't ever surrender to you, evil sweets empire!"

Be well...

Day 33 of 84 in the StSC: Appetite back in the Calm Zone, Anime New Season Underway!

Okay, eating normally again. No weird cravings. No over-the-top appetite. Good. I like to be in this zone. Oh, and I want some more java. Mmm.

Anyway, I've been distracted by wanting to swim (pool not open for night swimming on Fri-Sun, bummer). Only a kiddie pool in my near future (ie, tomorrow's family get-together).

I am supposed to bring pico de gallo to the fajitas party. I plan to take fruit as well, maybe some other veggie/crudites, so I have enough of my own stuff to eat. I'll be taking my bathing suit for sun-fun. Maybe take a frisbee.

I've also been distracted by the new anime season. Summer animes on parade. So far, I've only gotten excited by Kami-sama no Memo-chou. It's got that "weirdly reclusive genius short girl who looks way younger than real age" with "normal nice boy" thing going like GOSICK, which I loved. I cried buckets at the bittersweet romantic ending last week. Sniff. Sniff. I was happy to see Kujo and Victorica end up together. Even if she looks all of 8. hahahah

Anyway, KamiChou (for short, and the title means Memo Pad of the Gods) has enough quirky characters and mystery stuff with weird-butt theorizing by said genius-girl to keep me happy. Plus, I'm all about the hikikomoris. I don't know why. Like my thing for albinos, I got a hermit/recluse thing. Maybe cause I've had my hermit-lifestyle issues. (Like not knowing my car got crashed into in the 90's until a neighbor told me I was at risk for a towing since it was damaged days before. My longest streak of not going outdoors was like 21 days without so much as stepping through the threshold.)

Plus I qualify as a NEET. So, there ya go. (If you never watched the faboo Higashi No Eden, which also featured NEETs, do so. Terrific anime and I enjoyed the follow-up OVAs as well.)

I will say that for lovers of Bishies, Uta no Prince-Sama (Princes of Song) has them galore. I'm all about the sexy Japanese voices, and that's the only reason I bothered trying this one's first episode. LOADS of Bishies, some very nice voices, and I like the total whack-job head of the school, former idol Shining Saotome. If all schools had ceremonies that entertainingly odd, students would be happier, I say.

Anyone who watches it has to have a high tolerance for cheesy J-pop boy band tunes, though. Like, um, the opening theme, highlighted as the track for this teaser:

The voice on the long-lighter-haired, tall, forelock across bridge of nose, "Prince-ish" rich dude is hot.

It's not gonna win any awards, I'm guessing. Animes based on SIM games usually suck monkey butt.

But, hey, voices/bishies/bad songs. One can have fun.

My fave in the "it's heartwarming and I loved the manga to start with" category is USAGI DROP. Oh, that manga made my heart go all peachfuzzy warm. And the anime is doing the same. They kept a nice sort of...tone...mood. The colors, the minimalist, air-filled feel of some scenes, some like a watercolor from a slice-of-life storybook. The emotion that is low-keyed in its depiction, but hits your heart like a bullet of condensed-humanity--that's my kind of stuff, too. I 'm not just about weirdos and over-the-top theories and big fights and such. I love emotion, real people-ish stuff, too. Man, I'm gonna get all weepy just thinking about how much I wanna adopt Rin myself! Sniff.

I also enjoyed NATUSUME YUUJINCHOU-SAN, and didn't realize this is a third season of an ongoing story. I liked the first episode for the atmosphere. There is this sort of level of nostalgia (the past plays a big part, yes) and burdens inherited from one's kin/parents/society. There is humor. Nice animation. Interesting spirit-beings. I'll have to check out the other two seasons FIRST, then catch up to this season. And after the awfulness of the UTA opening song, this off-key singing in the opening theme is kinda charming for its earnestness:

Didn't you just love the big White Mask spirit threatening the smaller ones? He's like a mix of a BLEACH Hollow and that plaintive spirit in Miyazaki's brilliant SPIRITED AWAY (my fave Miyazaki film). I totally fell into cute-love with the tiny teacup spirit who does a very beautiful (foreshadowed) thing. Made me feel heart-warm again (after Usagi Drop blasted my heart into the oven).

We're set up to watch episode 1 of Kamisama Dolls soon (and I heard it's weird, like "whoever did it was on crack" weird). I am willing to give crack-weird anime at least a look-see. :D I'm skipping the girl-love (YURU YURI) and boy-love ones (forget name), as the plots don't interst me, though I really enjoyed the humor and manga-environment of the best gay anime last season--which just finished a couple weeks back-- SEKAIICHI HATSUKOI.

I'm awaiting the upload of DANTALIAN NO SHOKA (girl, mystical library, etc). I'm all about libraries and supernatural stuff, fictionally speaking. This might be like a more supernatural GOSICK thing, or GOSICK meets TOARU MAJUTSU NO INDEX. We'll see. It's definitely one to look into.  Also want to see No 6, as it's science fiction and I like the look of the trailer and the sound of the manlier voice, heh:

I'll be skipping the next Blood+ related one (BLOOD C), and I haven't decided about whether the France one (IKOKU something) will be up our alley.

I have seen nothing that's as wacky insane hilarious hooking makes me snort with glee as BEELZEBUB this season yet or as suitable for both me and hubby to watch as AO NO EXORCIST, but one can hope. I will definitely continue with USAGI and KAMI-CHOU. Beyond that, dunno.

But you can get an idea of what's coming here (and enjoy the breezy music from a past season of Kimi No Todoke, one of my fave school/romance/teen mangas-animes):

So, if you feel like munching or snacking or overeating.... Heck, distract yourself with some anime.

Be well, later, I have a summer season's worth of debuts to catch up on...

Day 29 of 84 in the StSC: Where I report an uptick following a really fun Supercon weekend! Where Misfits feel at Home and Fat Princesses Who Aren't AS FAT AS LAST YEAR Dance with Teens....LOTSA PICS...and, sure, Challenge Updates...

Okay, still not feeling like blogging, but I need to do an update. I was seriously sleep deprived and slept until 4 today. Had a great time. My mood lifted. I danced a lot, hollered a lot, bought a lot of stuff (manga, art, music cds, etc). Got to enjoy the youthful cosplayers. Some terrific bands (the music was very good this year compared to last two years).

I did not stay within challenge calories this weekend. I hit just under 1800 calories Saturday and made it to 1600 yesterday. I'm still hitting the salty stuff (and eating out didn't help as every place we went had salted up food). Saturday, we ate at the convention hall snack bar (chicken caesar and fruit was the only things on the menu doable), and then hit Au Bon Pain in the hotel . Again, tough to pick something, as limited options for me. I will say, they make a nice egg salad.

It was difficult getting decent stuff to eat yesterday, so we took water and each of us had a protein bar and waited until nearly 2 in the morning to actually make up for not having lunch or dinner prior to that. Both Sat and Sun, we had breakfast before leaving, packed nuts and fruit for Saturday, and those protein bars for yesterday.

I completed another "new exercise"--2 actually--so that makes 2 already, and meets my requirements. We did some Dance Party in the game room. And I went to a mini-rave (before the BIG raves), and used the Apple App for the glowstick and rave-danced for about 40 minutes. Added to regular dancing which totaled about 3 hours for both days. Yesterday, especially, I was just into it. Great performances and I stood and danced through them all, right up at the stage. Why not act 18 again? I figured.

I have been sore, so clearly, I was active. And most of the time I was on my feet, even when not grooving to the moving.

I only worked on push-ups one day. Yeesh. I blogged much less than usual, but I did blog this week. I did some encouragement. I prayed for the challenge, but not as much. I haven't quit, though I am somewhat off track. Not feeling as guilty as I ought to, as I was on a convention high. ; )

This week, I got two Pilates sessions, 3 walking sessions, the convention dancing/game-dancing. That was exercise. Food was over-caloric 4 of the days, so a fail there. I stuck with proteins and vegetables and fruit and fats (ie, still avoided most starches/sugar), but had too much.

I only missed my water goals one day (yesterday, when I miscalculated and realized by bedtime I was 2 cups of water short of goal).

Tanita-san says: 190.8

Thats UP from last week by ONE POUND.

And here we go. Another week. And I need to be firmly back on the track and not distracted by too much fun or too little sleep (no one gets enough sleep on convention weekends.) Goal this week right through Sunday: To be on plan, on goals, in the game and not derail at all.

I am wishing all Challengers the best. :)

Hubby's Blackberry didn't send me the couple pics from Saturday (was running around from event to event, so forgot to take pics of stuff again, and I so wanted a pic with Death the Kid and the amazing stilted version of resureccion Ulquiorra. That guy was so Gothy~! There were some really amazing costumes, too.)  One nice thing was, Sunday night, being told by some of the kids we semi-befriended that we were one of the funnest couples (and when teens and 20-somethings tell you that, it feels good to a 51 year old). It was also very good I carried a spare bra, as it came in handy in THE QUEST. Kinda like a scavenger hunt in the karaoke space. As did my limited edition MAC "Red" She Said lipstick, which was used by me and one of the young guys on my team. Hubby ended up with lots of lipstick on his bald spot, as it became the focus of one of the challnges. And yeah, that was weird. At one point, the hunt required we bring a fruit to the host. Hubby had eaten two apples and a banana, so we were out of fruit. But one of the team gay guys volunteered to be the "fruit". So, it worked out. ; ) (Creativity was encouraged, so, say, spontaneously markered tatoos were acceptable, etc.)

One of the nice things about these events is that for all misfits and outsiders, for the fat and homely, the slim and sexy, the spacey and odd, everyone fits in. You can be 60 or 16, but if you love the genres or the raving or the cosplay or the onigiri making or Japanese culture or gaming or karaoke or all of it, you fit in. The guy in blue spandex, the girl in the wolf-god costume, the crossdresser, the pimply Pokemon collector, the 10 year old boy in the wheelchair dressed as a game character for the cosplay contest, the genre tv starlet plugging her latest, the K-pop enthusiast mimicing the dance moves from the latest M'Blaq video, the geek film enthusiast learning how to edit, the Steampunk afficionado in leather and metal with a gas mask and cape showing others how to fashion brass accoutrements for their costumes---everyone is accepted. No nastiness. It's all good.

I felt like a misfit for most of my youth, and I'm glad misfit kids can feel at home, even if it's for a weekend, wearing green wigs and talking Trek or Tron or Gundam or World of Warcraft or singing badly at Karaoke or acting out a song in expressive dance, or just waving glowsticks at the rave sans booze or drugs. (My kind of rave.)

If you get a chance to go to one, and you have remembered feeling like you didn't "fit in", go to an anime/comicon. Have fun. No matter your size or age.

Wish I had a lot of pics, but really, we were too busy to take em, though we took some Sunday on the "winding down" hours as we cooled off from sweaty eventing.

But Toots did email me some just now. For a bit of comparison, this is us last year with Gilligan's Island's Mary Anne:

Supercon June 2010 with "Mary Anne" and me in my cover-up cause i was 260+ lbs

Two of us that same week.

Now this year:

Prince and Princess and Doctor Who blue kiosk

Leaving on Saturday after 1AM and the mall stores
closed...but purdy display, hence the pic...This outfit was perfect
for the con. Cool, comfy, stretchy, with a huge purse
for assorted necessities and sneakers were godsend.

Late Sunday, Dance Party-ing with a Total Stranger Teen...fun!
This was a comfy outfit, but too dark and hot for late-night raving, I can tell you!

The energy level is a whole different thing from last year with +70 pounds.

I hope I can say that next year, I'll be even more energized at goal weight with more muscle and I'll need better undies, cause with the hanging skin--panni and back flaps-- I need work and my butt needs some liftage:

Ah, well. I guess I'll have comparison pics NEXT year. :D

And that's it for this update. Not a stellar challenge week, but a week where my mood began to dip and then took a rise and I'm all for a happy "ending".

Blessings on you all for a new week of fatfighting!

Day 24 of 84 in the StSC: Melancholy Day, Rainy Gray Day, WireFree 38DDD LB Bras Fit, and Planning How To Avoid Temptations at the SUPERCON!

I woke up melancholic. I also woke up 191.4.

I had started feeling a shift in my mood lately, and waking up with that "it's cloudy and gray in my mind" sensation confirmed that my body is up to something chemically.

This might explain my jonesing for fruit and salty. Last night, I had gluten-free pretzels for a snack, and yes, totally processed crap, cause I wanted salt so bad. Dipped 120 calories worth in yellow mustard to satisfy the I WANT SOMETHING CRUNCHY AND SALTY RIGHT NOW urge, before it turned into something sinister and bingey. It's been harder staying under 1400 the last couple days (but I've done it), and it's all about wanting fruit (sweet) and salt. Just like my old depressed PMSing days.

I know there is a weight/mood connection. I know when I feel the lighter sort of blues--this is not all out depression, just that cloudy-gray melancholia thing--that I need to start being seriously attentive and preemptive or I might dip into a depression. I haven't been all-out depressed-depressed-clinically-depressed since end of 2007/start of 2008, and I haven't had a mood impairment of significance since over a year. It's been pretty clear-sailing for a long spell, for which I am grateful.

So, preemptively, I added something salty but protein/low-cal  (Canadian bacon) along with something sweet and natural (cherries) to get that sort of sweet/salty thing taken care of first thing. Had my eggs with mushrooms and added herbs and onions for flavor, and added salt to the eggs. Just a bit. Normally, I don't. I got used to Mrs. Dash on my eggs months ago (round late January/early February), but I want to satisfy whatever the heck is in my chemical mess right now without resorting to Frankensnacks. I'd rather get it from a processed meat with protein than a processed low-carb weirdo food. Cherries are super-sweet and anti-inflammatory. My joints are a bit swollen, so two birds, one bowl of stone fruit.

Since I woke up with the melancholy flu, I put on praise music right off. I first put on more serious praise music, as it fit the mood--Rich Mullins' posthumous brilliant JESUS RECORD. It's still one of my fave Christian music albums. The songs are like these grittily gleaming gems with amazing lyrics and gifted musicianship. When Ashley Cleveland sings, "Jesus, write me into your story. Whisper it to me. And let me know I'm yours..."--I just tend to get these astonishingly strong feelings. It's my favorite song, along with MY DELIVERER, from a top-notch creative work. I prefer the disc where Rich doesn't sing--he sings only in the demos, which are moving in themselves--but where his friends and colleagues sing his songs in a tribute after his passing.

Here is one of the members of the Ragamuffin Band (Rich's band) singing "My Deliverer". I sing that chorus spontaneously on days when I feel at the end of my rope or just like I need a dose of uplifting hope and, above all, PERSPECTIVE, which this video gives a solid dose of:

"My Deliverer is coming; my Deliverer is standing by.
He will never break His promise; He has written it across the sky...
I will never doubt His promise, though I doubt my heart, I doubt my eyes...
My Deliverer is coming; my Deliverer is standing by..."

We all have to be "delivered" from something. Maybe you're lucky, and the only deliverance you need is from food addiction. Yes, that's being real luck. But we all need some delierance.

Anyway, after some songs--Rich's deep songs and David Crowder's louder modern praise tunes--I had perspective and less "grayness" and pensive sadness over the crap in the world and less anxiety about my future. Maybe not my usual cheer, but it was a lifting up of some kind. Perspective. One can't feel sorry for oneself when one knows the historical and currrent series of sufferings of others. My problems are so tiny, so very tiny, when viewed in the light of the REAL suffering of those in the video and in the Bible and in history and, heck, in my own hometown.

Praise is a healing thing. Perspective is a centering thing.

If you feel really down about something essentially minor or stupid, get over it. Life is gonna have hard times, and some people's hard times are horrible beyond imagining. I spent a good portion of my hour after waking praying for those in captivity (sex slavery and other forms of captivity). They know what suffering is. They know what hardship is. People dieting don't know squat. People who have lousy jobs don't know squat. People with relationship issues don't know squat. Having loved ones falsely imprisoned, your daughter sold into a brothel, your wife tortured, your son murdered, your body racked by an incurable and deadly disease. Those are real trials and suffering.

What most of us have on a daily basis just doesn't compare. So, we need perspective.

Wouldn't you rather be hungry cause you're not eating as much for the sake of weight loss than be hungry cause your farm was attacked by locusts or a rebel army? Yeah, thought so.

And if you are reviled--as some online will, due to stalkers or mean people doing their mean thing--it's trivial in the big picture. Dust yourself off, stand up, praise God that you can see, walk, eat, sleep under a sound roof (or any roof), have healthy kids, have a loving partner, have any job in an economy like ours. Be grateful. Sing a song of gratitude. Smile even if you feel like NOT smiling. Adjust your attitude.

I'm adjusting mine today. I won't let my biochemical wonkiness mess with this day God gave me. I choose joy and gratitude--even if it's elusive today. Even if I worry about hubby losing his job. Even if I worry about my sick sister and my recently hospitalized nephew. Even if I worry about growing old and sicker. I choose hope and joy and thankfulness.

So, say grace when you sit to eat your planned meal. It may not be a bingey feast like you may have had in the past, but it will be good health for you. Be grateful for the food on your plate, the clean water in your glass, the life you have, the life you WILL have...the dreams you can make come true.

Onto other things:

Calories: Okay, got 600 to 800 more calories left for my supper and possible snack. Should be fine. Hubby wants Thai, and for me, it's easy to get something on plan there. I like their chicken and avocado sushi.

Exercise: I'm sitting here in my workout clothes. Rain has curtailed my walking, but I went out for a very brief walk yesterday between showers. I hope today, I can do my full 30 to 40 mins. I'll do what I can. If not, then I'll dance. But I will move.

Prayer: Yes, you are being prayed for, fellow challengers. Please, stay in it. Even if you stumble. Let's stay in it all the way!

Bras: I got a shipment of Lane Bryant bras and undies (they had an online sale and I took advantage). The wirefree lace ones are REALLY comfy and have decent support. 38DDD. I could maybe have gone for 38DDDD (my usual), but they don't carry that. The underwire 38DDD had not enough cup room. I'll have to wait until I'm a 36 band, and they'll probably fit better. ; ) If you want a comfy, girly wirefree, check out the LB lace wirefree. Pretty cute.

Weekend Planning: Hubby and I have hit the Florida Supercon two years running. Prior to that, I was so heavy and out of shape, that I couldn't handle a convention. But Pilates helped me get through my first in 2009. Last year was a breeze, even walking constantly for 12 hours+. This year, as long as my knee holds out, should be even better, as I'm way smaller than I was last year in th 260s. Seventy+ pounds off makes a huge difference in stamina and flexibility. I hope there's dancing! :D  I am looking forward to seeing if Bruce Boxleitner is as handsome in person. One of the hunkiest guys on TV ever! Commander Sheridan in Babylon-5 (one of my fave SF programs, I own the box set) and he looked pretty hot in TRON and SCARECROW AND MRS KING, too. :)  Anya of BuffyTVS (Emma Caulfield) is gonna be there, too.  I go for the SF and anime/manga/Japanese culture/art stuff. My hubby goes mostly for the gaming/anime stuff. We have fun. :D  Don't expect much blogging again this coming weekend.

So, I gotta plan for my eats. I know they always have chicken Caesar salads and usually some kind of fresh fruit. I'll have breakfast before going, take one of my all natural sticky-bars (sort of like a fruit/nut composite trail mixy thing) and plan to have tea, water, coffee, and the chicken salad for lunch, maybe dinner, too. Not sure how to work dinner. If I have to, I'll just do the protein/salad/fruit thing twice. The most important thing is to stay very well-hydrated, or I will get hugely hungry. I gotta make sure to guzzle water and avoid the Pocky vendors. ; )  I have a weakness for Coconut Pocky.

Okay, gonna go and enjoy some French Press decaf and get in more water with it.

I wish you all a joyful, thankful, healthful day. Be well...

Day 2 of 84 in the StSC: I ate how many calories? Ah, but I did how much exercise? Beginning on those push-ups, and other updates and spontaneous bemoanings....plus a bit of blathering on anime music for Susan the ScooterButt Sister... And where do the forks and socks go? Can someone tell me? Plus: Visualizing it----the Warrior Doodle!

Here we are, day two. I hope day one went well for you all.

Caloric Weapon misfire: Dang. My rifle drooped some. I went over calories. This is rare for me and it irks me. But, there it is. I wonder if I had a weird psychological thing going on like, "Oh, a challenge ended, lemme be lazy one last time before I throw myself into the next one."

I'm not used to using starches much, and when I input the rice, and tallied the EVOO, well, there we go: 1435.

That makes it more necessary for me to be at 1200 today. An occasional "feast" day  of 1400 calories is fine--and how relative is THAT feast, huh, for the gal who used to eat 2500 in one sitting easy! This I know. Warriors can't slack. I don't want that to be habitual while on challenge, though there will be celebratory times when I will want more on certain days. For optimal loss, 1200 will do it. I've seen the proof of that.

Anyway, this morning, I feel LESS great. So, maybe my starch experiment is gonna be mighty short-lived. I like feeling super-duper. I don't wanna screw that up. My self-discovery continues, I guess.

On the exercise battlefront: 1 hour of Pilates and 25 minutes of walking. Well, thank God this weapon is primed, as it should make up for the overages in the caloric dept for yesterday.

On the push-ups stealth maneuvers: I dropped a couple times for some modified attempts last night after my walk. If you're working on that, too, and need to do it modified, like me, here's a short video primer and here's a really short one that might help.

Note: If you are one who can't afford to invest in a lot of exercise DVDs, don't have On Demand free exercise videos with your cable, and don't have access toAmazon or  Netflix videos (on demand or otherwise), remember: The internet is your buddy. Youtube, Sparkpeople,  and other sites have free exercise demonstrations from Yoga to Pilates to Bootcamp style to Zumba to Jazzercise to various spot exercises and etc. Lots of personal trainers put good stuff out there foryou.

Just seek and you will find.

Canteen check: Got my water/fluids in.

Vitamins inventory: Consumed, general, sir, yes, sir.

Prayer deployment: Yep, you all got prayed for. I even asked hubby to join in with that, and I posted on FB to my pals to consider praying for us.

Encouragement: Well, I sure posted on a lot of blogs! I didn't get everyone since Sunday, but nearly!  And my thanks to all who stopped by and filled me up with good wishes.

Note to Susan re comment yesterday: While hubby and I didn't continue with CLAYMORE (I might recheck that one in future, as the ladies there do kick beastly hiney), is the opening theme you like the one by the group Nightmare~~"Raison d'etre"?  (romaji and translation are HERE, though not video.)~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Loooove the J-rock boys!!!  I have a cd of theirs, the one that includes the songs used in DEATH NOTE (terrific anime! really good tunes!) I like that band. Not as much as Buck-Tick (my fave)  or L'arc-en-Ciel or Vamps (kinda tied) or Abingdon Boys School or Sid or Uverworld...but they have some fun tunes. Lead singer just goes a little flat or pitchy sometimes. But when he's on it...he's ON! ; )

I think the closing theme is beautiful with its Celtic bits/meets symphonia/meets J-Rock: "Danzai no Hana~~Guilty Sky"

And I love singing along with anime themes, so when they add the Romaji lyrics, I just love dat. Lately, I get a nutty kick out of the silly ending theme from DENPA ONNA TO SEISHUN OTOKO, the one that goes, "Kaze hiku no, kaze hiku no" in that little-girly ootsy-cutesy voice. Such fun....

Sleep: Working on making it longer and better. Really, I am!

Silly personal side note which will assure you I'm odd and rather dorky: I'm running low on my discontinued Les Bains du Marais "musc blanc" huile de soin, and that's like my "time to go to sleep" aromatherapy. Oh, man, I love that stuff. I shower, rub it on my inner forearms and chest and shoulders, so I smell it as I doze off. So relaxing. The bestest musk scent ever. Why do they discontinue stuff I love?  Like FIREFLY (the TV show), or FELL (the comic), or like the TRIBECA flatware from Oneida.

Here me, world: If anyone wants to send their Musc Blanc huile to me, I will love you forever and ever. And if you have Tribeca dinner forks, them, too. I just ordered 6 from eBay out of desperation. Got the knives, salad forks, spoons. Forks: no. They're gone. Huh?  I have no idea whey we keep losing forks. And athletic socks. We're disorganized idiots, I guess. Socks and forks. Do demons pilfer forks in the night?  Are Fork Gnomes visiting my apartment while I shop for produce, then take my forks for subterranean feastings? Maybe aliens abduct them while I'm in a Les Bains du Marais White Musk dream haze?

Well, I guess I rambled enough. My apologies. It's a flaw.

I will endeavor to make this a stunningly good challenge day. I will pray it goes stunningly well for the 552--oh, wait, just 52? Whew!--of you fellow challengers.

Okay. New day. Time to deploy the weapons and be a warrior for health!

Here's a doodle by Rettakat on the warrior theme:

I really like it. Thanks, Retta! And I want to LIVE that mentality.

Happy and healthful Tuesday to all challengers and supporters!

Day 21 of P5: Shaking and wanting to puke cause I got all inspired by ONE OUTS....kick-butt baseball anime

Scale's the same.

I just did some working out and can barely type. My body is all shaking, blood pumping, and I'm a tad nauseous. Urp.

Did some of my Jackie Warner workout DVD , followed by some Dance Central on Kinect (Ride the train, come on, ride the train...)  I kept moving for 30 mins and pushed, pushed.

I may have pushed too much. Urp again.

Hubby and I watched ONE OUTS (new to us, though it's a couple years old anime-wise). Baseball anime. Not the comedic school one like BIG WINDUP! and not poignantly sweet and youthful like CROSS GAME. This one has a seriously testosterone-drenched couple of players and a really cool hottie of the "maverick with the spiky dyed blond hair and sly eyes" kind who wins every time. Of course, he's recruited (in a very cool seedy way by an uber-prideful and competent pro player) and is now a player for a team (instead of his moneymaking night gambling ventures). But he still manages to outmaneuver even the snobby team owner/CEO dude. Love it.

Oh, really, I will puke, methinks. Whoa..dizzy.

All these "we will do it no matter what" animes have been part of my way to motivate myself to stay in the Phase 5 mindset. Get it done! Don't give up! See the goal! Move toward it!

I will try not to overdo, though. I am a fat, middle-aged gal with medical issues, not a young turk with sexy-sly eyes and a killer-lean physique (ie Toua, the main character):




I really dig this song used in the opening credit sequence--Pay Money to My Pain, Bury. Gonna find and iTouch it.

I hope you keep your motivation flowing this weekend.

Keep going.

Later...

Day 8 of Phase 5: Anime Motivation for Those Fighting the Fat, For Those Under Assault by Cravings or Urges or Food Thoughts, For Those Who Made the Decision to Be Healthy....!

Eating's fine, but the salt attack has hit me. This does take a bit of a toll (it can enlarge appetite and can stall loss for a spell). It's one of my demons I fight against constatly, and I've gotten lots, lots better. Investing in every Mrs. Dash and some other salt-free seasonings has helped. Though, really, even delicious herb blends aren't the same as salt for salt fiends like moi. BUT..it takes time to get used to less, and I'm working on it.

My mojo is slacking just a litttle, and I feel that, so I'm renewing the fire. I have to be my own cheerleader. That's how it is. Every day, we get up and cheer ourselves on, or the fire goes out too easily. BURN! Wanna BURN!

I had an allergy issue last night that curtailed date night. An eye swelling up (I clearly touched something, maybe my pineapple chunks, and then touched my face) and some eczema. I didn't wanna put on makeup , so we had fun at home. One of the things we did was start watching a well-reviewed and nifty little boxing anime (well, not little, since it goes on for many episodes and the manga is very popular and has a gazillion chapters): Hajime no Ippo.

I was watching episode 3 last night with hubby (whose dad boxed in his youth, and he's a guy who likes watching sports and Ultimate Fighter and stuff, so yeah, up his alley), and I kept thinking how much this applied to FATFIGHTING!

If you're having a hard time, remember, we need to be like young Ippo and have that resolve, that staying power, that refusal to stay down in the face of assaults (of all food kinds, emotional kinds that make us seek food, etc).

In the clip, he's a total newbie (Ippo, that is), who is thrown in the ring (and he's NEVER had gym training) against a seasoned and top-notch fighter, son of a pro, whose been training in technique since childhood. It's a "test by fire" for Ippo arranged by the old-man gym owner to see what Ippo's made of. His mettle. If he really has what it takes to be a boxer.

He does!

Do you and I have what it takes to win the fat fight?

We do! If we choose to have it, right?  Ippo says mid-fight: "I made my decision to be a boxer!"

That boy made his decision and never waivered. That's what it takes to win.

I need to never waiver, even when I fall down--get the hell back up right off. Keep fighting! Ippo says: "I won't fall down. I'm going to be reborn. I'm going to become a boxer."

For us: "I won't stay down. I'm going to be reborn. I'm going to become healthy and goal weight."

Here ya go:




It's got an old-fashioned anime look, and the animation is not the top-notch, fancy, cool stuff that I've gotten used to. But the story and characters and humor are endearing and interesting. Wimpy, good-hearted boy without a dad, constantly bullied in school, gets inspired and gets a dream: to become a boxer. Natural talent and a weird, but enthusiastic mentor (and fun gym characters add to the charm) help him realize his potential. Nice anime. Inspiring, too. Think a bit of Rocky, with a dorkier, sweeter hero.

While he does get knocked out, he's shown what he's made of. Gets back to work. Acquires a top-notch mentor in the old fella, and begins his serious training. It's all good!

Like Ippo, we need help to realize our potential. It can be books, magazines, blogs, a dietitian, a trainer, a forum, a challenge, blogging buddies, whatever. Mentors and allies. We need that to achieve important quests.  All of us in the DDDY challenge phases (and I've been in since the first one) understand that having people support you  matters, and having a tough mentor (ahem) is also good for some of us. (Not everyone wants that, but many people benefit from a voice that calls us on our crap and tells us to get going.)

Get your inspiration wherever you can! It's a real fight for the prize, right?

Yosh! Let's do it!

Happy new week to you all. Let's be amazing!

Day 5: Woke up With Growly, Hungry Tummy; More Workout Soreness; Walking Concerns; Wishing Weight Loss Was Faster/Easier and The Body not so Vexing; But Still Not Freaking cause I got PRINCESS JELLYFISH to make me laugh! And wondering--when do you drop folks from blogroll or from "support comment" schedule?:-/

I'm feeling slightly...lethargic. Not peppy and happy and ready to fight the fight like I did yesterday. Yesterday's calories: 1205. Water done. Exercise done (strength and walking). Check, Check, Check!!!!!

Today, I just wanna nap all day, ya know?

My stomach was making a racket and woke me up. Literally. My hungry tum-tum growled me awake. I decided to mix the snack and breakfast for a larger meal, cause seriously, I wanted to eat a small well-done, oh, bear, maybe, buffalo, or a grilled Yeti. Something meaty and big.

I didn't have any meat on hand except the ham steak I am making for supper (one of the holdouts from the pre-plan shopping), so it was the usual eggs, toast, milk nanner, coffee, water. But I added cheese to the egg whites and some Cubanelle pepper.

Have no idea yet what lunch will be, but I'm guessing a salad and yogurt of some sort, since supper will have ham, carb, veggie combo.

I was having mild, but persistent, hunger pangs last night. They lasted for an hour, then calmed down. I kept saying, "Not an option. Eating is not an option"-- like a mantra.

Am so sore. We worked the back muscles (those torso raises, youch) and other muscles, but my back I feel a lot today. Butt some, abdomen some. But the back and shoulders....wooo.

I will admit to a bit of worry about the walking. I was fine yesterday cause it was short and hubby was with me and breeze was lovely. My foot went numb toward the end of the faster-walking portion, but recovered soon after we got home. See, I have this thing--since the early 90's--where my left leg and foot will go numb and my foot drags if I walk at a brisk, steady pace for anything above a certain time frame. Usually it's 13 to 15 minutes. No matter the warm-up. No matter the shoe. It happens on sidewalks and treadmills. If I go at a slow pace, I can walk a lot longer. But as soon as I get up to, say around 2.5 or more MPH (tested that out on treadmill), the foot numbs and starts to drag and I can't walk. If I walk slowly, I can walk for more than an hour.

When I used to use my treadmill (a relic now) regularly, I could walk my 45 mins if I went around 2.4 MPH. That's a slowish walk. I've spents hours meandering in sneakers with hubby, and while my plantar fasciitis will act up, the knee tends to be okay as long as the pace is gentle.

This might be due to compensations I've made in 20+ years with a messed up L knee. Dunno, and have sort of not gone back to the Orthopedic dude. I don't want surgery, so there ya go. I'm a wuss. Hubby and I decided to consider returning my knee to the Ortho after I get under 200. If I have to have surgery, I wanna be able to have the flexibility, mobility, and better weight to handle it.

So, for now, the brisk walk portion is minimal and I can handle it. Beyond the 10 mins does worry me. Ah, well. We'll cross the bridge when the bridge shows up in my view.

I took a peek at the scale (yeah, I'm an impatient ass) and I'm not happy. Yes, it's lower than Sunday's weigh-in, but for the working out (more than usual) and the eating (way less than usual), I frankly expected more on the 4th day if I'm gonna hit the 2 lbs loss by Sunday next.

It reminded me of my freak-out back in December when I did the 1200 for 5 days and weighed MORE than the previous week and then just overate in a childish, emotional reaction. I recovered from that pretty fast (you know, back on the horse and all), but this is the same scenario. Eating way less, seeing unstellar scale results.

It's silly of me, I know, but even INTJ's known for more rational approaches can be silly. I know that the soup I had for dinner could be partly to blame. I know it could be my body doing whatever little odd thing it does when I cut calories at first (like it did last month). I know it's just holding on and results will show up.

So, same thing as last month, but I am NOT gonna freak. No way. It's a longish (relatively, emotionally speaking) way to May 1. Short in terms of actual days, but long in the sense of the higher deprivation and higher expectations.

I'm in it. I"m doing it. I'm not gonna let the scale wreak havoc on my spirit.

I wish "the Math" were more exact and precise and each day showed the actual equation working through to Tanita-san. But The Body is there, not just The Math, and the infinite variations of chemicals and intake and output and it's a matter of the longer view--it will sort out. It will. Just not day to day exactly as we wish.

And I really do wanna nap. :)

But I won't. I'm trying to fix my weird sleep schedule, so staying awake right now is imperative.

I do have the last episode on Funimation of KURAGEHIME, aka PRINCESS JELLYFISH,  to both look forward to tonight and feel sad about--cause it's the last episode they have! OMIGOSH, this anime makes me laugh so much. I haven't laughed to hard with an anime since Ouran Academy Host Club (which was a hoot). I'm a bookworm/Otaku myself, so seeing the geeks get made over by the handsome/beautiful cross-dressing rich-boy and watching the antics of the reclusive-odd bunch of tenants of the 70's retro boarding house is hilarious. I must be burning calories like watching this cause all I do is crack up and roll on the sofa! (And I must have picked up some Japanese in the last year, cause I find myself explaining jokes or puns to hubby that don't come through in the subtitles.) He likes it, too, and it's lovely to watch together. He's a video/Magic The Gathering game otaku, I'm a manga/anime/SF otaku, so we understand the weird little group some. :D Recommended for those who like funny anime with weird characters (but endearing).

Now I have to have something hot. My nose and ears are having some allergic stuffiness today. Sucks. Bleh.

I'll probably add stuff to this post later, but right now, let's get through Friday and it's temptations. If you only check blogs on weekdays, I wish you the best and healthiest of weekends. Ta!

~~~
Evening update: Lunch was fine. Water is fine. Did squats (3 sets, then knee began painfully stabbing...oh, well. Sigh.)

I have been looking at my blogrolls (this blog, old blog) and deciding if I should winnow out the folks who haven't been updating. I did that once before. When do you decide to remove blogs? After they're quiet a week, two, a month? More?

I'm also wondering about some blogs I visit. A few of them never, ever, ever drop me a comment. Makes me wonder if I should say, "Okay, no more comments for  you, either." Dunno. I have no problem lurking and reading and enjoying, but if I leave a half-dozen or more comments on someone's dieting/weight loss blog and never get support back...maybe I should stop? Not sure. I know that I use a lot of time blogging/online, and I should cut back (especially with the gazillion things I need to accomplish this year, including finishing my novel and returning to my poetry writing and editing).  I can only logically conclude that I should spend my time on those blogs that reciprocate, and I should drop the ones that do not.

But I am curious about your experiences with blogroll thinning/updating and how you choose which bloggers to continue to support, considering that we all have only 16 waking hours in the day to deal with dieting, exercising, working, grooming, cleaning, lovemaking, recreating, churching-going, and son--and that'sif we sleep the recommended 8 hours.

Anyway, hunger has not cropped up yet. ENERGY IS BACK, BABY!  I read some Basho to keep the reflective, calm, zen groove going, exercised to Massive Attack, and now will go make myself purdy for hubby's homecoming. I plan to rock his world...in a very zen-like-but-energetic manner, of course. (hee) Then dinner to JELLYFISH PRINCESS! Yes!!!

Be happy, be well, be good, and have fun this weekend--only not food fun, other kinda fun. Well, okay, have food fun if it's within your caloric limits. Later....

Day 4 in P4 of DDDY Challenge: A bit of hunger easily deflected, Haiku stuff, calories, Quote for "Over Fifty"Dieters, My BMI then and NOW, WALKING DONE with HUBBY..kinda romantic, and it might be a vegetarian day today, let's see...

Okay, so in a rush. I wanted to put up something then add to it later. Here's the something:

Still not freaking. Not at all. The optimism and calm remain. I'm all zen dieting since Tuesday. I've even gone around phonetically repeating my January Japanese Haiku by Issa (I loooove the sound of Japanese, so even though I don't speak the language, I like HEARING it and SPEAKING it. I'll sometimes repeat phrases out loud while watching anime streams. And when a beautiful, deep male voice speaks Japanese, oh, lawdy, my menopausal ovaries dance!)

Kore kiri to
miete dossari
haru no yuki

Go HERE, and scroll down more than halfway, and there's an interesting bit of translation discussion on the poem.

I still am not clear on why they chose a spring season theme poem for the January 2011 month. The accompanying woodcut is a "shrine visit" theme, which is PERFECT for January (if you watch anime or read manga, you already know why, right?)

But I like it, because P4 ends on May 1--in spring. The hope of spring. The last snow and then...spring's fulfilling blossoming. That's what we challengers are hoping, banking, betting, and working on. Having a really amazing spring revelation....

Anyway, down from the beauty of haiku to the mundane beauty of healthful eating:

Yesterday's calories landed at 1205. I only had some hunger issues later in the day, but I was able to get over it a lot more easily than Monday's hours long battle internally over wanting to eat.

Water done.

Walking...NOT DONE!

I will have to make up for that today. I will. I don't know why I spazzed other than inertia is still very powerful, sloth still hasn't let go. Forgive me. :)

Breakfast is done:
egg white/mushrooms/toast/coffee/papaya-with-milk smoothie/coffee/water.

And here's a quote from Refuse to Regain blog for those of you who, like me, are dieting in the over-fifty/menopausal years of our lives:

Over the years, some of my most successful long term weight patients have been over 60.  When new clients tell me that they are worried about their inability to lose because of age, I show them a picture of my mother who had a major weight loss in her mid 80s and continues to control her weight now at 92.  Because of two bad knees, exercise was out.  She also has an underactive thyroid. She's always had trouble losing weight.  Nevertheless, she did it.

Weight control after fifty is only a challenge if you misunderstand the basics.  If you believe that weight loss and maintenance is achieved by starving and running the marathon, you will be justified in seeing major impediments as you age.  Many people give up on trying to stay at a healthy weight because of just such thinking.

I'll finish this after I get back from Pilates, eat lunch, do walking, etc. Later, my fellow dieters. Let's be very, very good, k?

...

Okay, back:

Today's "hidden feature" at Sparkpeople (where I log my food) is the BMI calculator. I entered my highest home-scale weight: 299. It said: 48.4.

I then entered my weight now, rounded up:  234.  It said: 37.8 BMI.

Nice drop, huh?

Waist is 41.25, and doesn't wanna budge. Been in the 41 for weeks and weeks. Dang. But upper body, upper abdomen (bra band area) and thighs definitely are reducing. I just want the dang waist to budge.

~~

Got the walking done with hubby after the plumber left--from 5 to 5:20pm. Nice. Cool and breezy and it was lovely having him to chat with, so I could gauge my breathing level (according to instructions). He's adorable. Walking with him was fun. I hope we can do it three times a week TOGETHER--er, well, on days when he's home for it.

Lunch was the hummus/whole wheat half pita/lettuce & tomato/yogurt option. With water, of course.

Snack will probably be carrots and hummus, since the hummus is fresh. But it might be the peanut butter and whole wheat crackers. Either is fine and satisfying.

Dinner might be grilled tofu. Not sure yet. Could be a chicken salad repeat. But if I go tofu or soup or pasta or veggie burger, it might end up being a vegetarian day!

So, strength training done (with trainer--I handed her the packet info to peruse--and man, I think I'm gonna plotz; I just don't stop being sore here) and walking is done and eating is fine so far--just following the packet with the CHOOSE and then CHOOSE and then CHOOSE ahahahah. More water to go. I have three glasses sitting here ready to be downed post-walk.

Day 22 of Son of DDDY Challenge: Breathing is getting almost to normal, about dang time, and I slept 13 hours, and here's some nice J-Pop.

And Tanita-san says: 241.2

1/5th down since Sunday. I was wondering if the increased carbs yesterday (I had a big ole serving of oatmeal with fruit as a nighttime snack) would stall things. Slow, maybe, but not stall so far. We'll see as the carb-experiment continues.

Breathing is not normal yet, but it's getting there. I was able to finally sleep--13 hours total--which is always what I do when the asthma starts to ease: I crash and make up for the crap sleep in previous days/weeks.

Hubby is picking up rotisserie chicken, rice, salad for supper. I'm totally lethargic. The Long Sleep took its toll on my energy levels. And totally freaked out my schedule. I got up at 6pm. I hate having to make corrections and be on more normalish hours. Sucks.

Nothing big to report cause, well, I've been ASLEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I am mellowing to Utada Hikaru music...she makes me wanna sip coffee and look out the window and chill...seriously. Gotta put some on the iPod: "Beautiful World", "Stay Gold", "Prisoner of Love", "Nichiyo no Asa" (which relaxes me so much I wanna go back to nap). Here's some Neon Genesis Evangelion clips with  "Beautiful World" as the music. (The song is used in the anime, and it's really obvious the dude who put it up likes Rei, as he features her nekkid scenes, R rated): 



Nice song, huh? Translation here.  Love the piano bit going through. Makes me get a similar feel to the great intro theme in ANGEL BEATS, but without the initial melancholy.

So, hubby's home and it's CHICKEN time!

Food time:

BREAKFAST:
5 oz chicken breast (rotisserie, no skin) and 1 cup white rice
1 tomato and 2 cups lettuce with vinegar and 1 tbsp shredded parmesan
2/3 tbsp EVOO
2 cups coffee
1 bag Nutritious Creations hybrid cookies
8 glasses water (4 before, 4 after)

calories: 648
fluids: 80 oz

LUNCH:
Egg white omelette with 2% cheese and mushrooms
1 cup cooked spinach and 2 Morningstar soy sausage patties
2 cups decaf
8 glasses water

DINNER:
1 bag Kay's protein mix sweet BBQ flavor
1 serving sugar-free chocolate almonds
1 medium pear (mostly eaten)
2 glasses water


Calories for day:  1458
Fluids for day: 184 oz  (41c/30f/29p<--more like Zone than Low-Fat/High Carb...)

Day 20 Son of DDDY Challenge: 3/5ths of a Pound Down and Still With the Wheeze, Anime-watching Day, and Now my Ears are Getting Stuffed Up!

Tanita-san's reckoning: 241.4

Yes, down after a day of holding. Yes! And that's after having a huge bowl of pasta and veggies yesterday (2 cups of pasta with 2.5 cups of veggies all in one bowl.) Yummy.

So close to teh 230s. It's making me eager.

Anyway, fine on water and calories yesterday.  Carbs should have been higher and fats lower, but still, not bad.

Was watching some anime stuff I needed to get caught up on (ie, some stuff I've been wanting to watch and never got around to). Both of the OVA follow-ups to the excellent brief anime series, HIGASHI NO EDEN (Eden of the East). Watched our adorable Taki-kun do his thing in the fascinating Noblesse Oblige game of the "Selected" saviors of Japan. Love how Taki handled it. If you haven't seen the series or the f/u films (King of Japan and Paradise Lost), its a very nicely done anime.

Also tried out the first episode of Togainu no Chi (based on a boy love--ie, homosexual--manga, methinks), violent sorta futuristic boy-fighting thing. The black-leather-clad dude in black with the vampirish red eyes and the black-sword was hot, but I don't think I'll be watching much more. Caught up with the latest episode of BAKUMAN, a school/life teenager-protagonists anime that has a very charming, sweet and sometimes comical heart about two 15 year olds who decide to become mangaka (write a successful manga) that will become an anime by the time they turn 18. The goal is tied up to a subtle romance. The romance drives the passion of the artist teen while personal adventure and pride drives the writer-teen. Very nice anime. it's cool watching them become partners and pals.

Watching those uber-skinny Japanese characters makes one wanna stay on plan, I tell ya! (Although I've yet to see a skinnier protagonist than Watanuki from xxxHolic.)

So, anyway, caved and took a dose of Sudafed cause my ears are stuffing up. Ick. Hate that sensation. The allergy-asthma fest here continues. I'm gonna wanna die in exercise session tomorrow. Should have cancelled. REally should have.

Anyway, food log:

BREAKFAST:

Pretty much same as yesterday, excepts mushrooms in the omelette instead of tomato and a tangerine into the mix to make up for only having 1/2 cup of papaya left.

calories:  582
fluids: 80 oz

LUNCH: Hubby wants Mexican, so we're hitting a small local place with authentic fare...one of our faves. I ordered soup and a "tulum salad" which has marinated chicken breas and organic greens and corn, black beans, tomatoes. I nixed the tortilla chips and cheese this time.
Yeah, had the Mexican: Sopa de aguacate (chicken broth with some shredded chicken, pico de gallo, and avocado pieces), 1 taco al pastor, half of the tulum grilled chickens salad with 1 tbsp of the cilantro-peanut dressing, 1/2 cup refried beans and 1/4 cup Mexican rice, with 1/4 cup pico de gallo on top.
8 glasses of water
6 oz iced tea, unsweetened
calories: 959
fluids: 70 oz

DINNER:
1/2 Chocolite protein bar
2 glasses water
calories: 48
fluids: 16 oz


Total Calories:  1588
Total Fluids:  166 oz