Day 26 of P5: Struggling with the Sleep, Salt Cravings Again, Scale Stasis, New Gadget Thanks to Allan, and Need to Bag Up Clothes from Winter....and get new stuff soon for SPRING! Oh, and stretch those hip flexors for better sex....seriously....

No movement on Tanita-San, which is mildly frustrating. Only mildly, cause I really just want to fix my sleep schedule, and that's my priority. Once I fix that, the scale will move.

I know. This has happened in cycles before.

I was not at all surprised by those recent circulated study findings correlating sleep and weight. I've always noticed that when I can't sleep well (as evidenced by these bags and circles under my eyes and the general loss of energy), I can't lose well. Or lose, period. I go into a holding pattern.

I don't know the science/physiology behind it, but I know in my life, it's true. To fight fat, I need good rest, good sleep.

I'm totally messed up now. Been hitting the sack anywhere from 4:30 am to 6:30 am and getting up anywhere from 9:30 am  on. I only got one good "night's" rest this week. One day was less than 4 hours, the others in the 5 hour range. That is a far cry from my natural need, which is about 81/2 to 9 hours when I'm well, 10+ when I'm not.

I can't make up for it Saturday, as the cable guy is coming....so we need to be up. No late sleep.

Catch up sleep doesnt' work too well in middle-age, I've noticed. It takes anywhere from 2 days of good rest to up to a week for me to feel normal again in terms of energy, appetite, and weight loss.

Well, we'll get it done!

I'm also fighting those salt cravings again. I just want to dive into a bowl of salted nuts or salted roasted veggies or salted crusty bread or blackened salty chicken breast or salted lettuce or...salted salt. Demon! Demon sodium chloride, begone!

On the positive front: I got a cool little doohickey called a VIA Heart by New Balance. It's like a jacked up pedometer you clip on to your clothes/belt that measures not just time and steps, but distance, calories burned and pulse rate. That's pretty cool. I just put on a watch to walk, so it will be fun to have other measures handy...once I figure out how to work it, as I'm a stupid-butt when it comes to technology --and thank God for being married to a computer dude or I wouldn't know what to do when my laptop goes funky! Thanks, A!

I couldn't find a pic of the exact one I have--a gray and orange red Via Heart--but this one is kinda close to how it looks:

I have some new piles of clothes that I need to separate and bag. I lost another inch off my hips/belly area and my new bras are already on hooks set number 2 (out of the three, the middle one). I'll have to hit Lane Bryant or the mall soon for a couple new ones (sports and regular) so that I don't get caught with ungainly bras like I did last time. I'm gonna be prepared to keep the puppies happy and uplifted.

I figure another couple bags of clothes will be ready for donation by weekend's end. More space for me. I even have some bras I never got to wear and won't now since my size is radically different--on top of which I found out I was DD and not just D, and had been wearing the wrong cup size for AGES....a good fit makes a huge difference in appearance and comfort. Glad I got sized. Need to be resized before buying new ones, too.

I can tell I've lost more off my belly. The skin saggage is worse. Bleh. Not a pretty sight, the deflating tumtum. I even apologized to hubby for deforming my body and having it such a state now as a consequence, so that he has to see the saggage as I walk around nekkid (a habit, and I sleep commando, so it's not like I'm hiding the damage.)

He said, "What are you apologizing for!? You're gorgeous. And you're amazing."  And I promptly jumped his bones and showed just how amazing.

Um...Pavlovian response to glowing and sparkly husbandly adoration of my whack body.

Sex Note: Those hip flexor stretches on the Cadillac in Pilates. OMG. Yes. You want to stretch those babies. Amazing positions are possible even if you're still fat!

 Well, getting rid of the "interference" makes it better, too. Less stuff in the way, more closeness, more nimbleness.

Do some stretching today after your walk or cardio or strength-training. Don't forget those hips. Wink, wink.

Be well today, and here's to all of us sleeping well tonight...

Not Day 33 of P4 Challenge: Appt with Dietitian, The Change of Mindset She Noticed and I Notice, Chat with Waitress, Bright COLORFUL Top and Lipstick, Happy Curls....and date night's a coming!

Today's weigh-in at home was 225.2. At the R.D.'s: 225.0

I had lost 4.5 lbs since my appt with her 2 weeks ago. That's par for me. At 1200 calories (sometimes less, not often a bit more), I lose 2 lbs a week, maybe 2 and a scosh if I have a lot of under days in that week. I know others at that caloric range with regular exercise lose faster, but that's how my wonky, hypothyroidic, insulin-resisstant body rolls.

And 2 lbs a week is great. It means I can lose 100 in a year at that rate. And I don't need to lose 100 anymore. I realized this lately as I still get email from the Blog to Lose group for those needing to lose 100+ lbs. I'm not longer one seeking that kind of loss, not after a 74 lb loss. I want to get to 160--more or less, I'm not like fanatical on the number, it's just a goal right now, and it's not even a skinny goal--and that's 65.2 lbs away. I have less to lose than I have lost. I like that asymmetry. My brain says: "If you can lose 74, you can lose 65."

The dietitian was thrilled. Lost 1% of fat in those two weeks. My motivation is still high. She says I am inspiring ad she asked me if I'd consider being a motivational speaker at one of the dietitian conferences. I said if local, sure. :) She said I ought to write a book. I said, "Well, I need to get to goal and stay there for a while before I can do that. I don't want to be one of those folks who loses a bunch of weight, gets a book contract, writes it, releases it, and then regains a bunch of weight." I've been reading blogs and books about MAINTAINING weight loss s (not that there are that many books, mind you. But there are blogs of successful maintainers.

There is no fricken point in losing the weight if you can't keep it off, I figure. So, I started trying to get into the brain/habits/journey of maintainers last summer. I realize that "dieting" doesn't end. Maintaining is like being on a lifelong diet. If I can't tolerate eating, say, 1400 or 1500 calories for life, there is no point. None. Might as well stay fat. Because to lose it just to regain would depress me no end.

I look at the 1200 plan as a sort of bootcamp. If I can do 1200 and learn to be satisfied with this much less, learn the tricks of assuaging appetite and dealing with cravings and saying no to seconds, and portion control, then going up to 1400 or 1600 will seem like heaven. It's another snack or a bigger dinner.  I've done several 1000 calorie and 900 calorie days without much hunger. I think of it as training for a life of eating much less than my obese, out of control self wants to. I have read and researched as if I was getting yet another college degree. I want epiphany after epiphany.

Is it easy. Hell no. Just getting into regular exercise (which I started to do in June of 2008) has been enlightening. I still don't WANT to get up and exercise. I do know that I feel so immensely better when I do, and I like the muscles under the skin, that it's a matter of reward. Heck, if I were rich, I'd have a trainer come six days a week and run me through an hour to an hour and a half of serious work-outing. :) But I don't have that moolah. I'd do it, though. The rewards are tangible.  Want multiple orgasms? Get that pelvic floor work done in Pilates. Your G spot will go insane. I kid you not. :D That's ONE benefit. Just one.

So, I'm not the gung-ho lemme do sit ups kind of gal. I am the "Okay, this sucks, but you know you'll feel better when it's done. You'll feel like a champ. So do it!"  I may take an hour or two to talk myself into it, but I'm learning to that more times a week, and that's all it takes. Consistency and lifelong adherence Like dieting: It's for life if you've been obese. For life. Or it comes back.

I don't want to waste this effort. I'm terrified of going back. So, I tell myself--this is it. Can you eat thi way for life? And I say:"I'm going to. That's it. I'm going to."

Resolution doesn't come easy for me, but if there isn't commitment, there's failure. I'm smart enough to know that there's no magic. It's just deciding there is no other option. Do it. Stay fat. Do it. Stay fat. Only choices.

I've had two folks this week tell me I should go on Dr. Oz or "TV" and I say, "Well, lots of weight loss stories out there. I'm not at goal and I haven't maintained. So, why should I go on tv. I want to see people who kept it off 5 years, 10 years, 15 years, not the person who just lost it last week."

When I maintain: Then I can boast. When I've maintained: Then I get my reward trip to Tuscany. :D

If I don't have to spend the moolah tucking the tummy. Weeeeeellllll.....

Anyway, had a spinach and mushroom egg white frittta, minimal oil, as per my request, lowfat swiss, coffee, a couple tablespoons of grits for flabor, then set it aside, as I don't need to starch it up. The waitress and I got talking. She lost 82 lbs, regained a bunch, is out to lose again. We sort of commisserated about our stress-emo-eating tendencies. Chatted about food, healthier eating. Was nice to know another journey-sharer. She made sure my omelette was as dry of oil as possible--a dieting waitress knows the score. :) Lots of spinach. Yum.

I'm wearing more color these days. At 299 pounds, at 279, 250, you still wanna hide. I'm still severely obese, but I feel confident enough to want to wear color. Today, a magenta top and magenta lipstick and very perky happy curls. I felt cute. :D Middle-aged, fat, cute. :D

Which is good as hubby will be home soon and it's off to our date night. I intend to get lotsa smooching and laughing done.

I already called that restaurant with the amazing grilled romaine (with balsamic). If the show ends early enough, we'll hit it for a late supper. I'm skipping a full lunch and just doing fruit and protein snack to cover me until we're able to dine. Water, decaf, small snack....and then tell the stomach to shut the F up until I have time to feed it. :D

Anyway, yesterday I ended at well under 1200 calories, exercises as already posted, and my mood is...GREAT. I've been singing in the car, at CVS, in the restaurant, in the parking lot.

Phase 5 is almost here. Remember to send your weigh-ins to Allan. I'm sending mine tomorrow so I don't forget or sleep late and miss it Sunday. I want us to really shine and do well--all of us--and be healthier and happier and have great Big Os and walk without pain and huffing and puffing and go up stairs without dying from being unfit and all the other good things that come from eating properly and moving soundly.

Let's be well together!!!!!

Later...I gotta iron something pretty for date night.

Day 13, Phase 4 Challenge: Today is Activity Day, My depleted savings, and Mood is GREAT! Feeling, um, like Whoopie, too... heh...

The Princess is back!

Woke up thirsty  (which is one of those things that still amazes me given how much fluid I consume since the Challenge Series started). The plumber did his thing, we paid the insane amount of property insurance. (We're talking over 6K here, and next time, we rent. Screw owning in Miami. Between hurricane/flood/storm/fire insurance and property taxes and repairs and upkeep, it's just not a sane proposition!) This has been one heckuva an expensive month, home-wise, and it ain't done for th year. Geesh.

But despite the shrinking savings account, I feel great. I feel like myself again. No shakes. No moodiness. I am recovering from some eczema (my face was scaly and deep pink, now it's scaly and light pink), and the bowels are moving nicely. TMI?

Had my "new plan" breakfast--280 calories. Lots of veggies. No starchy foods, and the  total of carbs came from the veggies with the egg whites (broccoli, onions, red peppers, tomato)  and the lowfat/fat-free cheese melange (I mix the two kinds, since fat free is kinda "eh"--the combo works) and the papaya with lime juice.  I have my planned snacks (looks like the regular packet, a yogurt one OR the apple and peanut butter and another of 10 cashews). Lunch is already prepped and refrigerated (the chicken with salad option, with some fresh cilantro, some fresh jalapeno, and salsa to perk up the grilled chicken, and I might have the yogurt here or some milk if I choose the non-dairy snacks).

I get one-ish starch serving that I can use at any meal I wish--whether it's a sweet potato with my dinner protein, or pasta, or a legume serving, or corn with meals, or toast with breakfast, or a sandwich at lunch.  Yesterday (I was on new plan yesterday), I used that serving at dinner.

Yesterday's Particulars:

Calories: 1120 ( 128 grams crarbs; 30 fat 88 protein)
Exercise: None.
Water: Met
Hunger: some late evening (which is pretty par, my hunger is always more in the evening), but manageable, not vexing.
Mood: better than previous days :)

Today is activity day. Hubby says he'll do my walk with me. YES!!! Romantic!!!! Then strength stuff when we're warmed up from walking. He has his own exercises to do now (I got him a Men's Health magazine with a plan for him.)

Now that the teary gloom has passed, I'm feeling very, er, in the mood. So today, I fully attacked the hubster. He did not object. I may attack again. Energy is good. :D

But walk and exercise first.

Enjoy your weekend. Be well...and weigh in for challenge tomorrow. I gotta set the alarm and remember the noon deadline. Not stressing. The mood is good....