The Third Year Begins! Or..What Happens After the "Two Years To Happy Weight After"?

268--10 pounds more than when I started this blog

 

 

 

299 lbs--highest weight

278 pounds in 2009

Today is the first day of my THIRD year.

What does this mean?

Originally, the title of this blog was "Two Years To Happy Weight After".  I chose that name because I wanted to start fresh, with a new weight loss blog--the previous once was Once Upon A Diet--one that was goal-oriented, specific, and accountable. I decided I'd weigh-in weekly--publicly. I'd put up before pictures for all to see. And then the series of after pictures (as progress occurred). I gave myself two years to get out of obesity and hit goal weight of 160.

Being goal-oriented and specific helped. It really was a game-changer. No fudging or avoiding. I put it out there: what I wanted, what I'd do, what I was doing, when I was struggling, when I was sailing.

My highest weight at my home scale was 299. At the doc's scale, 303.
I began Once Upon a Diet in May of 2007 at 279 lbs.
I began this blog in September of 2010 at 258 lbs.

I am now 172.6 lbs, as of today.

I did not make 160 goal weight.

I did make and surpass my " happy weight" as defined on my previous blog, that is, 175 lbs. The weight I could live at and be happy, even if overweight.

178 lbs

180 lbs

178 lbs May 2012

172.6 lbs, today

For the record, 160 is considered overweight of 5'6". I never aimed for skinny.

I am overweight. But I am okay with it. I don't discount trying to hit 160 still, but for now, I'm focusing on MAINTAINING.

I have good reason to take this seriously at this point.

My first post here on this blog referred to two bloggers who inspired me, both had lost a lot of weight and left obesity behind.

One is now obese again.
The other I have no idea, as the blog has gone private.

I know maintenance is hard. Do you know it? Believe it.

Most folks FAIL at it.

Whether they get to lean or just to "not obese," most fail.

So, I'm aiming to hold on, stay in the 170s. If I can find  super-mojo and work on getting to 160's, amen and hallelujah. But I've lost 126 pounds and I've got a lot of odds against me. I want to win this war and, for now, that war is called Maintenance. Keeping the Pounds Off.

It's enough work for me right now.

I'm really glad I created this blog. I'm glad I joined Allan's challenges. I'm glad I hosted several challenges and was able to motivate myself and help others in the process.

I'm going to copy and paste that first post on September 3, 2010. I hope some of you out there who need to get out of morbid obesity or obesity will take heart and give yourself time. Don't focus on crash diets. I gave myself two years, and now I give myself the rest of my life to work on this. Give yourself the time you need to change your mindset.

I still have tons of work to do to reestablish and keep good habits.

If you've lost motivation, find it again. Fight for it. I plan to.

If you haven't started the journey--get prepared: Clean out the crap food from your house. Read solid books on good eating and LEARN, LEARN, LEARN. Get moving, consistently, often, even if it's a walk around your neighborhood every other day or dancing in your living room before you go to work. Go to the gym, if you can afford it. Lift heavy stuff with a video teacher, if you can't afford the gym.

Buy real food. Learn to prepare it simply and pleasantly. Watch the calories. Set a limit and stick to it. Drink water. Lots of it. Give those dangerous drive-thrus a pass. Learn what foods trigger you to eat more. Ditch them from your life.

Set goals. Specific ones. Daily ones. Weekly. Monthly. Annually. Goals with  time-frames and actions steps to achieve them. Specific, concrete, real, measurable ones. Not pie in the sky vague ones. NOt, "I'll try better." But lay out what "try better" really is and how you do it, step by step.

Work on the inner issues, emotional and spiritual and mental. Get help from pros if you have serious ones.

Save money  and get a trainer. Budget for some dietitian visits. See a cognitive therapist if you can't seem to get past some issues.

It's worth giving up some perks and entertainments--Starbucks, movies, a vacation trip, magazines, those brand name heels, that new electronic toy--to get healthy.

You may fall short, like me, but falling short can sometimes still mean gaining a hella lot. I'm not 300 lbs anymore. I'm not obese anymore. I feel better. I look better. Daily life is just better when health improves and limbs are more flexible and clothes fit better and you can sit in chairs in public and not worry they will break. Sex is better. Sleep is better. The camera isn't as scary.

Life is just better.

I wish you well if you're starting your journey. Believe in your ability to do it starting TODAY!

Okay, here's that first post:

Friday, September 3, 2010

DAY 1--Starting Fresh with A Clear Goal--Two years to happy weight

731 days to go...

It occurred to me yesterday--and re-occurred yet again to me today--that I'm not terribly clear on my goals unless I'm in a challenge. Even in challenges, I tend to slack off and lose sight of stuff.

My original weight loss blog, Once Upon a Diet, began with the idea of using fairy tale/fantasy themes (as I'm an SF otaku), and in the beginning, I really tried to keep to that theme in terms of labels and ideas.

But the blog itself was vague: Once...once...that's vague.

This one will not be vague. I have kept the theme in the title--"Happy Ever Weight" as a play on "happily ever after" fairy tale endings in conjunction with fatfighter-speak of "happy weight", the weight one could live with as opposed to the ideal that may be unrealistic for many or most (because of the deprivations involved to be low medical chart weight).

I was very happy to see two fellow fatfighting bloggers reach the goals enshrined in their blog titles:

Lyn from ESCAPE FROM OBESITY blog has literally escaped: She is now merely "overweight," and no longer obese. How beautiful is that? I applaud her effort, persistence, and insightful blog posts. (Do look at her recipes, some are so numsy.) Lyn rocks and I do not doubt she will be "normal" weight before long. Congrats, Lyn.

and

Dawne, whose blog used to be called "365 Days to a New Me"...well, she did it. And she's now a new Dawne, 84 lbs lighter and looking terrific too! Do click that link and the pics of her transformation and her reflections/recap. She's retitled her blog to "It's My Time" as she begins a new year. I'm sure it's going to be even better. Dawne is a huge inspiration and her deep spiritual perspective is encouraging.

I like the idea--like it VERY much--of having a clear goal in the blog title. Whether to "escape from obesity" or become new in 365 days or... in my case here, be at a happy weight--I selected 160 lbs--2 years...I think just logging on is a reminder of what I am here to do with this blog. Get healthier by getting to a healthy weight.

I don't want it to be a fairy tale. I just want the fairy tale ending.

I will keep my old blog, Once Upon a Diet, up for reference. I have many excellent posts and reflections, if I say so myself, as well as pictures and resources. And I want to be able to look back at my own milestones. So, yes, I'm keeping it. But this is where I'll be from now on...with a clear goal in mind.

I will discuss my shorter term goals and plans in coming posts, and I will institute a weigh-in day, etc. I hope you continue to support me as you did in my previous blog. I hope you continue to follow me, if you did so before.

New beginnings...thank God we can always have them.

Blessing to you today. Let's all be renewed to our goals...

9 Pounds From Goal Weight... :O Wish I could be happier about it...

Today, Tanita-San said this: 169.8

I was shocked. I've longed to weigh less than hubby, which has been NOT the state of things for the majority of our marriage. But today, I was .8 lbs more than his weigh-in o f 169.0 on the same scale.

 4 pounds less than a week ago. FOUR.

Wow.

Anxiety/stress, just freaking in this bleak job market with NO income coming in right now, has pretty much put the kibbosh on my appetite.

I have NOT been exercising. At all.

I have had disturbed sleep.

And I've been trying to help hubby with his job search.

All that while watching pennies, continuing to plot/write, and strategizing how to become employable. Trust me, even with two degrees, when a person is out of the job market for 22 years, employability is near nil. Plus being over 50 brings a new discrimination factor.

It's tough in our household these days. And I pray and pray to calm my freakout.

Well, that's the update. Prayers continue to be much appreciated.

Please, be well...better than me. Cause this is NOT the way to lose weight.

Today Marks ONE YEAR Since This Blog Began...Happy Blogiversary to ME!

I began this blog last year on my dad's birthday. He's not alive. But I was and am and wanted to begin my journey on that special day. Dad lived to be a couple weeks short of 90, and most of his life, he was a hardy, strong, very slim, well-muscled man who looked easily 15 years younger than his true age.

I wanted to honor the vibrant health of his non-declining years--and extend my own life, the one he and mom gave me--by starting over on my weight loss journey.

I had a blog for weight loss that I began May of 2007. I made some progress, learned, made contacts in the bloggy world, had many setbacks, but never again regained to high weight of 299. I didn't lose more than 41 pounds with that one in those 3+ years. So, I decided to give it a really good and focused shot, a totally goal-oriented one.

That commitment resulted in starting this blog with UTTER accountability. I posted lots of pics. I posted lots of numbers. I've had weekly weigh-ins. I've put it out there and made myself do it.

I started this blog on that day, 9/3/10, at 258 pounds. Severely morbidly obese.

I had the good fortune to come across the Double Dog Dare You Challenge series, which began over a month after I began Happy Weight After. I figured, hey, a challenge back in June on my old blog got me motivated to really lose, lose steadily, so why not another.

It was a great, great decision. Allan's challenges helped me make great strides and learn about what I was capable of.

I type this today at 181 pounds. Overweight, but not obese.

I feel good. I feel stronger than any other time post my twenties.

9/3/10--me, 50 and 258 lbs, but hopeful
9/3/11--me, 51, and 181 lbs, still hopeful, and now kinda transformed, inside and out.

A work still in progress....I had a goal of 2 years to 160 pounds. I plan to get there before that, get to goal by my next birthday. Wish me well.

Anyone can make progress, bit by bit, in one year's time. ANYONE.

But you gotta start and believe it....

As of today, officially, no longer OBESE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :::bliss celebration dance:::

BMI of 29.9 & no longer obese. Just overweight.
With "Salma" nail polish by Zoya, cause one needs
great glmmering summer golden red nails for a party!
I got on twice to confirm, and you can see both readings!

:D :D :D :D

A lot of work to get here. A lot of work to go to get to goal weight (or revised goal weight, whatever). A lot of work to STAY not-obese. The fight never ends.

But sometimes, you get a great day to celebrate freedom! Freedom from all sorts of fat-related shackles. This is one!

Baila!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Time for a walk..to keep the pounds off...
hair is UP (I hate wearing my hair up, but it's HOT!)

Scale, Pounds Lost ticker Updated, Restarting harder than imagined, and Quote for those working on becoming "Everlasting Splendours"

Tanita-san: 187.0

That brings me to 112 pounds lost.

I'm happy about that. If I lose 2 more pounds, I am numerically, officially, finally, not obese anymore. Two more.

Exercise: I'm out of the habit. Yep. I put off and put off--hubby this, me that, reasons, yadda--walking and didn't. And realized that I'm OUT of the habit. Before, I'd get antsy if I didn't do my walking and Pilates. Now, I'm happy to sit on my butt again.

This is why I don't take "vacations" from healthy eating. I've read the studies (last year, again this year) on how the brain keeps old habit pathways intact, but new ones can be more "active", let's say. And as you keep doing the new stuff, you make the old habits less pressing. However, revert to old ways, and old habits become more pressing.

While I didn't slack on eating well while having our horrible event, I was totally not exercising. Old couch potato  leanings are in force. This is bad. I have to now exert my full will to get myself to move again.

I know, I really do know, that a few weeks of doing my exercise thang and THAT will be my habit again. But now I have to fight to regain that momentum and habituation.

Sucks.

This is why you don't stop.
This is why you don't say "Oh, just while I'm on vacation" or "Just for my birthday weekend". This is why the brain and old habits can be our enemies, while the brain with new habits are our allies.

This is why.

It's hard now. It wasn't hard before.

Old habits don't really die, or if they do, they die hard. DIE, DAMN YOU, DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, so, that was the good and the bad.

I have a ton of laundry to do, my food for today to plan, grocery shopping, and EXERCISE. (And I get the "don't wanna" thoughts just typing "exercise", I kid you not.)

If you have inculcated good habits, keep them up. Slack off and you have to do all the heavy lifting of new-habit forming again.

It's not only positive physical habits I am working on. I started reading a Dallas Willard book last night. I bought it a few months back, but I'm only getting onto it now. I wanted a spiritual read and something to encourage me to move forward and not be beset by grief, fears, doubts. Just keep an eye on TRANSFORMATION, which is my word for this year. Change. Transform. Renew.

He uses quotes from Scripture, of course, and from famous authors. I looked up one of his CS Lewis quotes to get the larger quotation. I like it. I like thinking that we are working to change ourselves, yes, not just on the outside, because inside/outside is interlinked in humans. I believe in soul/spirit/mind, not just body/brain. And I've learned that for me, the inside has to change first to make the outside (words, actions) change. I truly believe we are outside, in what we say and do, what we already are inside. And if we want to change the outside, the inside must be transformed.

For me, mind and soul and, above all, will have to take the step first.

When we cooperate together to take those steps, encourage each other, we're helping in transformations. I think that's pretty cool. Thanks to those who've helped me--authors, bloggers, friends, family. Change is hard. Change is necessary. I hope we're all moving to that better destination, even an inch, today.

Here's the quote, and let's all become "everlasting splendours":

It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you may talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilization—these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit— immortal horrors or everlasting splendours.

Day 6 of StSC: Recap of Day 5...Praise & Photos of My Beloved Who Is Mine...before I head out to ENJOY OUR BIG DAY!

Me and My Prince Last Summer (I was WAY bigger)

On June 11th, 28 years ago, in my sister's backyard, with a yellow and white striped tent giving shade to the small assembly of pals and relatives, I married my soulmate. He's been an utter delight ever since. I remember hearing how hard the first year of marriage was, the adjustment to another person.

Well, I didn't have that. We clicked. We got along. We rarely--and still rarely--argue. We laugh like mad, every day. We still find each other crazy hot and I still run to the door to greet him with a hug and kiss when he comes home.

Sometimes, I just lay my head on his chest for a couple minutes to savor his safe return.

German-Hungarian-Irish...
with those Asian eyes!

I'm blessed with the perfect man for me. Maybe not for anyone else on this nutty planet, but for me, he's a haven, a sanctuary, a playground, all in one lovely male package. Life with him is peaceful, fun, full of giggles, full of comfort, and full of great discussions about topics big and small.

I also really, really, really, really like canoodling with his hot self. :D

And he smells good. It makes my head spin. Top-notch pheromones.

And he has "Asian eyes"...Magyar eyes, I suppose. The Hungarian in him shows. See the pic above right. Cover his lower face. Ignore the rosy European coloring. Asian eyes..and I ADORE ASIAN EYES. (Japanophilia is rampant within my bosom.)

He married me when I was near-normal weight: 150 lbs.  I grew ill, became a recluse from illness for a long spell, suffered awful dark nights of the spirit, & ballooned to 299 lbs. The whole while, he was the brilliant light that kept me from just diving into a death spiral of depression. He never called me fat or showed disapproval at my naked body. He was always approving of my dreams, supportive of my efforts, and, frankly, besottedly adoring of me.

Who explains such mysteries? True love is a weird, puzzling, powerful, sustaining, wonderful thing. It keeps you from losing hope when things are pretty damn bleak in your blue mind and in your diseased flesh.

At the Hatsume Festival Back in March...still besotted

The Face That Makes My Heart Sing!

So, thank you, Merciful God--and thank you, my beautiful beloved--for so many good times, good memories, lovely laughs, comforting embraces, and for the daily astonishment that you are so right for me.

Back in February...a night full of laughs and hugs...

The legs that drive me wild..back in the 70s (He was a major good Ultimate Frisbee-er)
First time I saw him in shorts, I just about passed out...whoo...

Loving me young and slim with the smile that still makes ME smile...(Yep, that's us in 1982
with my nieces and nephews...so young and fresh and madly in love and ENGAGED,
and yes, I weigh like 145 pounds there and had natural curls)

Loving me fat and sick and older, with that smile still making me smile...

Still making me all dizzy with desire when you drum
all intense and sexy-like...(at a public performance of Brazilian music)

You are still the one!

The day we became one! Handsomest groom EVER!
And he still looks at me with that tender sweetness!

Anyway, that was just me exploding all over y'all with my mad love. Thanks for your patience.

Recap of Day 5 of StSC:

Calories: 1143
Fluids: All in.
Exercise: 30 minute walk; shoulders/triceps/upper back still sore, so no push-ups work.
Prayer: Yes!
Sleep: Um, don't ask. Yawn.
Encouragement: I did, again, only some blogs. You guys are numerous!

Hope everyone is working toward their StSC goals.

God bless your weekend with health and lots and lots of love!

Wanna join me for Slimmer This Summer Prayer Challenge? Another downtick...and ready for the milestone month...and a thanks for the kind words re my "swimsuit shoot" and thanks, too, for another "stylish" nod.... ; )

Tanita-san: 195.2

Yay. Halfway through this "decade" (well, nearly).

I am eating great. This helps as I  haven't gotten as much exercise as I'm used to this week due to family/holiday stuff, appointments/errands/running around in this heat making me NOT wanna sweat some more. Ah, excuses. Did walk Monday. Didn't walk or exercise yesterday. Will get hubby to come Playwalk with me if he gets home on time. Have Pilates tomorrow.


I will get my groove back. :)

And need to up the groove for the Slimmer This Summer Challenge which starts June 6 (ie, next Monday). If you've joined: Welcome. Let's be very kid and supportive to one another. Feel free to kick me in the butt in comments if I slack, but kick me with nice furry slippers on your commenting feet. K? I love being spurred on, and I don't mind well-meaning hollers, just BE WELL-MEANING. :)

I was having an email exchange with a lovely fatfighting blogger, and I explained that I liked having a variety of encouragers, encouragers from both sides. I like the ones that call me when I flake or slack and tell me to get my butt in gear and stop effing around. And I like the ones that "cyber" hug and say the words that let me know I'm not a worthless bit of cosmic flotsam. I like the ones in-between, too, who can balance the tough with the gooey. I think of myself as the middle one. I can holler at ya. I can lecture ya. AND...I can give you support and uplift. (Like a good bra!)

Because I'm a Christian gal, I also pray for people. Since Debbi and I jointly decided to host this challenge, I figure I'll mention I plan to pray for y'all to succeed. EVERY DAY.

If you are one of the challengers and a praying person, please do this, too. I literally am begging you. Please. Every day, when you have your prayer time, pray for the StS challengers to find the inner strength to meet goals, have epiphanies, grow in energy, eat well, move well...be well...

Let's agree in prayer to hold each other up, k?

Note for those who didn't know: Debbi is the ubermistress for the challenge who's gonna do the linkies and whatnot, which follows my lifelong pattern of saying "no" whenever clubs/groups nominated me to be the chief/president/etc and choosing to serve as vice-president/secretary/assistant from High School on through college, cause being President seemed a PITA when I just wanted to find a nice shady spot and read a good story....

June is here. In a couple days, I celebrate the 29th anniversary of the first time I met hubby. A couple days after that, the anniversary of our first date. Then...well, you catch my drift. June 11: Our 28th wedding anniversary. Hubby's birthday in latter part of month.

I am gonna look really nice on our anniversary. Well, I hope. I have a pretty dress with 3/4 sleeves that looks great with my peep-toe pumps I bought recently. I'll have either deep red or hot pink toes (not sure which yet) and I'll be thanking God profusely (as usual) for the gift of my Toots. The man is a walking, breathing, smiling Wonder of the World, and it still makes me weep with joy to think he chose ME. :D

Okay, I'm done. Except to say thank you, thank you very much, for celebrating the swimsuit milestone with me. It's so nice to get the warm fuzz attack in comment after comment. You guys rule! I mean, I even got me Tetsuji Tamayama photoshopped yumminess. (Yes, those who read this blog already know he's like one of my major celebrity hotties....what a gorgeous man.)

(And if you did go and take a pic of you in your summer swimsuit, please send it to Swimming It Off blog. She's gonna do Swimsuit Sunday next Sunday. Help her have a swimsuit bonanza of zaftig gals in their suits/swimdresses/tankinis/bikinis/etc.)

And though I'd already received the award, I want to thank Sarah, again, for thinking of me for the Stylish Blogger award. It's always cheering when I come to other bloggers' minds for that sort of honor. People sometimes suck, but as my comments show, people can also be unbelievably WONDERFUL.

Please love yourself today with good food, good movement, good fluids, good rest, and as much good friendship and love as you can cram into your day....

Later...

Before and After....since I finally found a "Before/Highest Weight" Photo!

I had mentioned in a post a few days ago how I found a pic of me at 299 lbs. Of course, I never weighed in at exactly 199.0, but I did make it to 198.8 Sunday (was 198.2 today). So, my commemorative 100 lbs lost pic never got taken. Boohoo.

I updated my PROGRESS PICS page to add the new photos.

Anyway, for now, the after photo is the one from last Saturday, and at 199.8, that's good enough to count for visual documentation. It's not like .8 of a pound (as Allan would say, a good couple pees or a poo's worth) would change my body configuration noticeably. Hah.

So, here it is, BEFORE and AFTER a 100 pound loss:

Before: 299 lbs at age 44

After (for now): 199 lbs at age 51

After

BTW, that lil round gut next to me in the before pic was hubby's tummy. He's lost 45 or so pounds since back then...but I'm STILL heavier than he is. Sheesh. (But I will get to be smaller again and "liftable" like I was in our newlywed days. I miss being LIFTED and carried by my man's manly arms.)

I still have more afters to go, until I get to goal weight (160 lbs). But I've come a long way and am very pleased about the progress. So glad I found that before pic. It will be my constant reminder of where I can end up again (or worse) if I do not make this commitment to healthful eating and movement a PERMANENT lifestyle change.

Happy progress to you all who fight the fat and hunt after health.....

I Have Officially Lost 100 Pounds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yay, made it. I wanted to badly so make it by today, and I did.

198.8

100.2 pounds off from highest weight I saw on my HOME scale: 299

Yesterday was a planned feast meal day (the Primal/Paleo people talk about mixing up IF with feasts, the way hunter-gatherers would have experienced). Since I've been doing some IF, I figured I might as well throw in a feast day.

I ate nearly 1800 calories yesterday. I normally eat in the range of 1200, but I decided to do the feast meal and ate a big dinner. I wondered if it would derail my progress. Instead, I lost.

That's 2.6 pounds off this week.  

If I told you what I had for dinner, you'd be amazed. It really was a feast. You would say, 'No way you could lose after eating that?" I did. I'm a bit amazed myself. Hint: We went to a barbecue place. There was more than one type of animal involved. There was scads of butter and animal fat. Some blue cheese. Some cheddar cheese.

Anyway, today, back to my 1200 calories. You can't follow a feast with a feast. That's not how it works. The feasts are rare, and the IF is part of it. I'm in IF mode right now, and ready to have my meal as soon as I blog this.

Milestones need to be marked, right?

So, today, May 15, 2011, I finally lost 100 pounds.

Fourteen (14, count em, 14) more pounds to no longer be obese at all.

I can do it.:)

Interestingly, was just chatting with hubby about the groceries for the week. We need to increase his food. He's lost about 5 lbs a week the last few weeks he's been eating no bread/no pasta/minimal sugar/minimal rice and tubers. He's dropping weight like mad. And he's at risk of becoming TOO SKINNY within one week. So, we're gonna up his protein and fat (I'm encouraging him to eat more nuts), and he needs to expand his veggie/fruit vocabulary. He plans to add more dairy, too. He's been having sugar-free ice cream for his treat at night. He's already eating 4 meals, so he may need to up the snacking. How nice to say, "Gee, I gotta eat way more or I'll look bony." hahahah

Anyway, I'm way happy to pass two milestones in the last couple days.

Next milestone: Get to 185 and NOT be obese.

Happy Sunday, folks!

Still in Onederland: Some Pics from Today's Walk on Overcast Day...

If you watched the April 21 episode of BONES, when the quirky Finder dude (can't wait for that show to premiere) is consulting with the clergyman in that pillared stone gallery and courtyard, that's the Spanish Monastery (the oldest building in the US, given it's from the 1100s and brought , dismantled from Europe to the US by William R. Hearst, reassembled right here). It's a lovely spot for an afternoon of meditation, walking the small garden or sitting in the sunny courtyard surrounded by ancient stones. One of my fave places in the city. Nice little chapel for a service on a Wednesday morning.

Anyway, it was overcast, but we went for a walk. Decided to take a longer route, so we headed to the Monastery. Took some pics of me in a light shirt--shows my bulging back fat in my new wire-free bra that's 40DD. I'm  at my Onederland weight: 199.8

Here ya go:

Monastery, torches in garden, and Me at the Gate..wedding going on inside...

Hearing the Wedding March played made me smile...

Walking to Monastery Gate...torches for wedding in progress...

Side View--wind in my hair...and droopy pannus in my pants!

Praise be to God for Feeling GOOD!

Hubby, who has leaned the bod eating less starch/sugar and more meat and fat. :)

My Toots with St Francis at the Monastery Gate (sooo cute!)

Princess Party in Onederland!!!!!!!!!

Woohoo! CELEBRATE!

Yep. I'm there. Finally. Barely, but there:

199.8

Soooooooooooooooooooooo happy! Feels so good!

Haven't been here in 20 years.

Not at 100 lbs lost yet. Less than a pound for that party!

Down a bit closer to Onederland, Change in Blog Look, Well-timed Photo Find to Use for Before/After when 100 lbs lost, , Expecting a Celebratory Weekend (fingers crossed), and Loving Ourselves and Living Life At Any Size...

Tanita-san: 200.2

That's .6 down from yesterday. Getting there, getting there...getting the confetti ready!

In order to get ready for a whole nother "century" (ie, getting under 200 into the 100s), I fiddled with the blog. It's a "leaner" look, simpler, but the colors reflect my sense of reaching higher (sky colors) and feeling fresher (water colors) and feeling hope and possibilities (wide open brightnesses) and movement (the swirliness). It may not be the most original blogskinning, but it feels right for now and the next milestone, which is so close.

I had planned to change the look of the blog next month, but some weird Blogger thing happened and my blog look got reset to default. Don't know why. Was all flowery and normal blog look one minute, and the next it had blanked out. Worried for a sec I got hacked.

It turned out to be a fortuitous error. I got to update the blog on a good day. Possibly the day before Onederland. I had hoped to reach it by last Sunday, and then I hoped to reach it by Saturday next. I may still make it. Who knows? The body can be weird. But I'm eager to see a 3 digit number that begins with a one....1....1......1.....1.....ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

As if the cosmos is in tune with my milestone (in addition to the timely Blogger blooper), I was clearing out some old magazines and books (in my quest to rid myself of more than body clutter) and found a pic of me at my highest weight. I didn't think I had one handy. I tended to avoid cameras. But I found one. Me at 299. It's not digital and it's glued into a diet book. (Of course. Me hoping back in 2007 not to see 300+ on my home scale.)

The book was part of a course by Julia Havey, a 12 week one, that came with CDs and an exercise DVD, and it was called the LifeChanger course. My life did not change. I only filled out 10 pages consecutively, then filled out another two a year later. But I did paste the photo of "Biggest Me"  in me there, and now it's part of my transformation documentation for when I lose 100 lbs. Hooray!

I was 289 in 2007 when I started doing the course. I fizzled out days later. I didn't stay the "course".  That's the story of my dieting life. A day on. A week on. Then not. Then months of eating nuts. A week or four on WW. Then regain.

I've been losing for nearly a year. Look at my sidebar for weigh-ins. See the near constant downward trajectory. No binges. If there was an uptick, it was sodium bloat, not binge bloat.  I've been exercising regularly for 3 years. Something changed, yes?

I'm so glad I found the photo. I want to post a pic of me at 299 and me at 199. When I get to 199, I need to remember to have hubby shoot me a good body shot! Before and After.

Of course, that "after" will be another kind of before. Goal still to come....

Hubby wanted to celebrate when I reached "100 Pounds Lost!" status. :) I do, too. I don't know how that celebration will be set up, but I definitely want to mark the occasion. It's a lot of hard work and lifestyle change to lose 100 pounds. I earned that coming celebration. :)

And even though I'm delighted with my weight loss so far, I do believe it's vitally important to work on the idea of "health at any size". Whether you're 400, 300, 200, or 100 lbs. I think we need to find the love of self and love of life and desire for health to live and love.

Don't shake your head and say, "Can't do it!" It's hard. I know. Try.

I hated my morbidly obese body. I hid away. I have had my neuroses, depressions, and binge issues. I have had self-loathing since childhood. It's hard to self-love, but I do think that it's necessary to say, "I deserve to have joy, do fun things, meet people, have relationships that are healthy, have a career or have kids and LIVE LIVE LIVE" no matter what size. No matter what size, we have inherent human worth.

God doesn't love any of us less cause we're fat or thin or in between. Our souls are not less valuable cause their "temples" are supersized. Our creativity and ability to love isn't hampered by adipose tissue. People don't need our contributions less cause we hand them our assistance with chubby fingers.

Some things are affected--and it's those things that spurred me on to lose the weight. Diabetes. High blood pressure. Lack of proper mobility. Difficulty with hygiene (sorry , but wiping your butt properly, front to back, is nigh impossible at supersizes). Sex (some positions become cumbersome or impossible). Finding stylish clothes. Joint damage from the stress on knees, hips, ankles, feet. Discrimination. Fertility can be adversely affected. Surgery becomes more dangerous. Might have to buy 2 seats on a plane. Might not FIT in a seat on a plane, or a concert hall, or a restaurant.

I love concerts, dance, live comedy. I stopped going to concerts and clubs due to how uncomfortable I was stuffing myself into the seats. I'd spill over into other seats and was self-conscious.

BUT..with all that, I still believe we do ourselves a disservice when we say, "I'm too fat to do that." I've done that with swimming (the swimsuit fear), with going back to school (the fear of not fitting in seats and being the fattest in the class), with looking for work (who will hire a 300 pound middle-aged woman with bad teeth and a gaping hole in her resume). With socializing (avoiding weddings and banquets and parties).

I can do more now. I don't fear seats in public. But I feel bad about the me that hid away.

If you are still not at a weight where you feel you can do stuff, can live, then I say try. When I was still 278 lbs, I decided to try Pilates. It was HARD to walk into a studio with thin models and sleek dancers. HARD! But I did it. I went walking on the beach when I was 268. Not swimming, but at least not avoiding the pretty places and fresh air. I decided last year to do stuff, even at 260+--go to a game park and go on the rides, while barely fitting into go-karts and the little boats and such. I did Dance Dance Revolution in a video game center. I went back to see a show at the theater.

Might as well live now. Not weight or WAIT... for goal weight. Not wait for "skinny".

Who knows if we'll live long enough for goal weight? No one knows their day or hour with death.

Live now. Do something that scares you. Like I did with walking and sprinting. It SCARED ME. I did it. Like Pilates. Like the beach walks.

For you, it might be something else. It might be going on a date after years of isolation. It might be trying a dress that's not loose and hides you. It might be going to a chi-chi restaurant with small tables. It might be applying for a job you're afraid they won't give to the "large" gal. Or guy. It might be going back to school or riding on a jet ski or playing Frisbee.

Do it this weekend or next week or this month or by (chooose a date). Do something really fun and don't let the fat stop you.

Although I do diet (eat in a way to reach goals of health and size) and want to lose 40 more pounds, I value people at every size. Everyone has beauty. Everyone has worth. Everyone has something to contribute to the earth and universe. I didn't always believe it about myself, and that was MY FALSEHOOD. My broken philosophy affected by a society's craziness about beauty and slenderness and money and assorted things. I was a poor, sickly, ethnic immigrant kid, and that colored how I felt about myself due to the images of that time (sixties, seventies). But I'm grown-up now and it's time to come fully into my own. Finally. Late, but hope is always waiting for us...

For a book that might help, I saw this one reviewed on another blog and thought it had a great perspective on LIVING LIFE at any size. The two excerpts I read were nicely written, too.  She may not promote dieting, but she promotes a vital, fulfilling existence where one's value is not tied to one's size. We need to hear that message.

I hope you love yourself more today and live your life happier today....you are immeasurably valuable. Just as you are. And so am I.

Day 40 of P5: MILESTONE: No longer "severely obese", just "obese" now. Time to sparkle and dance! And FLY!

Tanita-san: 216.0

Got on three times. Three times, same number. Yes!

Okay, another milestone in getting out of obesity. I started morbidly obese, the category of obesity I stood in when I began this blog. I got down to severely obese at 246. Now, I'm just obese at 216. Next milestone: 186, no longer obese.

I put on some Buck Tick (MEMENTO MORI cd) and put "Galaxy" on repeat:

In your heart, the heart marks dance
Your dripping wings quiver, your life sparkles
Come on, wake up
Come on, fly away

I felt like I "woke up" some last summer, and woke up more last fall. It's been a process of learning to fly. It feels good. Hard, but feels good. Life is starting to really sparkle cause I have the hope of this year, THIS YEAR, getting out of the obese category for the first time in two decades.

Well, I was gonna write one of my usual all over the place long posts, but I'm gonna get up and sing along and dance with Sakurai-San. Here, you can burn off some calories dancing, too!

I draw a peace sign over your heart
The sun shines through your wings
Life overflowing, blindingly bright
Come on, wake up
Come on, fly away
Come on, so gentle
Come on…

Day 39 of Phase 5: Allergies, Delayed Effects of Lost Sleep, How Far Would You Walk for Chicken?.... and Is This Really The Crap We're Eating Most Often in the US? Plus, You can Donate DIRECTLY to the Japanese Red Cross! ....HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY with a vid that blends the Japanese and Celtic themes of my post today! Eat a HEALTHFUL Green Thing Today!

Tanita-san: 216.8

Man, it feels like it's taking me forever to get to 216.0 (my next milestone).

I'm lethargic today. Yesterday, I got up early (slept just under 4 hours to do so). I was a little "off" all day and draggy, even a bit dizzy, and I curtailed my walk, cause I just felt unstable;  but then perked up at the WRONG time, midnightish. While I slept 8 hours today, I am not feeling myself. This is the price of lost sleep for me in middle age--I have to pay it whenever I curtail sleep. I'm "off" for a few days and it takes me a while to feel back at normal energy levels.

Hoping walking today clears my cloudy head. Hope the pollens and stuff aren't too bad. Been stuffy for days now (and my ears were clogged up on Tuesday).

On the positive: Been making a conscious effort to not default to my car. Here in Miami, with our lousy public transportation, driving is the default. Driving is the mindset. Seriously, people drive 3 blocks to a fast food run.

I normally drive to the Peruvian rotisserie chicken place at least once a week to get some freshly roasted chicken and salad.

Tuesday, hubby was in the mood for some of that chicken, but we walked it. It was dark and breezy, and it was 9 blocks there and 9 blocks back. Then we ate our meals.

In the 10+ years we've gotten chicken there, we've always driven. For most of that time, I couldn't have walked the nearly mile walk. I was too big and it was too hard. And embarrassing.

We briskly walked there and back. :) I can't tell you how much of a victory that felt like. It could have been a mountain climb. A milestone. I can actually walk to do stuff. (Well, I won't in Miami hot summer weather, but I will as long as its clement.)

How far would you go to get your fave take-out meals? Do you drive, even if it's 2 or 4 or 7 blocks?

I was remoting past some channels taking a break from Japan news (yes, I am still obsessed and bummed).  PBS had a show with Dr. John de la PUma. He listed the five most commonly eaten US foods as this:

00:30:30	So do you know what the five most commonly eaten foods are in the U.S.?
00:30:36	No?
00:30:37	They're sugared soft drinks, cakes and pastries,burgers, pizza, and potato chips.

(Note: I got that from the transcript online. Find the whole transcript here.)

Okay, I don't know where he got that list/those stats. I googled it a few times and got nothing. But it's not totally surprising. Supermarkets have entire aisles dedicated to sugary drinks, to salty chips/snacks. Whole aisles just about given over to cookies. How nuts is that? Look how much of the frozen section is about pizza. McD's and BK and their ilk are found every few blocks in major cities. Pizza is EVERYWHERE (and it's one of my trigger foods, so man, that is vexing). Locally (and I'm guessing nationally), we've had an explosion of cupcake bakeries/businesses. Yeah. That's what our fat US asses need. More sugary and icing-topped stuff to gorge on.

If anyone wonders at our ingreasing girth, that list by Dr. Puma is a tip-off.

On to a better way to spend that bit o cash you'd be tempted to spend on a cupcake or pizza....a charitable opportunity:

If you've been waiting to see where/how to donate to Japan relief causes, Google now makes it easy to donate to the Japanese Red Cross. Go HERE and scroll down just a bit and see the various charities they'll let you donate to using Google Checkout. I chose the JRC, but you can choose another. Thanks.

Since a bunch of y'all are wearing green today--"color of green, green for the vine, for the leaves and the branches, the tree of life!"-- and a bunch of y'all have a bit of the Irish in you (as does my 1/4 irish hubster, he of the olive green eyes), let me wish everyone of Irish descent (and those who just love their Irish peops and culture) a very happy St. Patrick's Day.

But please don't eat green JUNK. How does that honor a country or a great man?

Eat something green that will make your body and conscience happy!

Today, for St. Patrick's Day, my green foods weren't green-icing donuts or green milkshakes or green beer. I had spinach, broccoli and green peppers with my breakfast. :)  If you have to drink something green, how about a "Kelly Green" or "Green Goddess" smoothie. These are smoothies I buy locally. They include a variety of green veggies--spinach, parsley, cucumbers, celery, etc-- with a lime and fresh apple juice base. Yummy stuff that's not inebriating, but detoxifying! Here's one you can make at home.

I plan to have something green for lunch: big salad!


I have dozens of Celtic and Celtic-influenced music cds that I've acquired since 1991, when my passion for Irish sounds started. (My fave band is IONA, a band that infuses its music and lyrics with Irish sounds and Celtic spirituality. If you've never heard of them, hie over to Google. This is the IONA whose lead singer is JoAnne Hogg and that put out the excellent BOOK OF KELLS and JOURNEY INTO THE MORN cds in the 90s. )

To hear their haunting version of St. Patrick's Breastplate (a prayer supposedly written by da man hisself), LISTEN HERE. This song is from JOURNEY INTO THE MORN, possibly the one cd I'd grab if the house was on fire and I could only choose one from my hundreds and hundreds.

If you have your corned beef and cabbage for lunch or supper, have some fruit to get Potassium to counteract all the salt. :)  K? :)

I leave you with something that blends the Japanese and the Celtic: Joanne Hogg's song Kokoro to scenes from Ah, My Goddess anime:



Please remember Japan in your prayers, especially the rescue workers, relief workers, and nuclear plant workers trying to contain disaster.

Be well...

Day 20 of P5: 100 Days to Go....And I'll Send Weigh-In Today, not Tomorrow; What Would A "Maintenance Phase Challenge" Look like; Thoughts on June...

Official P5 weigh-in will be sent today: 219

Tanita-san said 219.4, and we round (up or down) as needed.

It'll be 3 weeks down in Phase 5 tomorrow, and a lot more weeks to go. But 100 days past quickly. Just look how fast 57 days have passed this year so far. Time flies, baby, always has (except when the dentist is doing something painful or you're waiting for a pay bonus to deposit).

In 3.4 pounds, I will no longer be severely obese...just obese. Milestones. I got my eye on 'em.

When Phase 5 ends, I hope to be close to not being obese. I suppose miracles can happen and I won't be obese anymore. But close is good. Very, very good. It's amazing, actually.

I'm selfish enough that I hope Allan will have a "let's see if we can keep it off or lose more" or "maintenance" phase. I know, we should not ask for more, when we're getting so much. But yes, I am selfish now. I like his accountability and progress structure, and I know maintenance is tough. He'll be at maintenance before me, but that doesn't mean that it's not something good to do. Learn the right way to readjust calories. Not everyone can do it right. I've seen bloggers stumble slightly, moderately, and major-EffingUppingly when they lost the weight and tried to maintain or just lose the last 5 to 10 lbs. Something about being close to or at goal can mess up your mojo.

And maintenance has always been hard.

My goal is to be a kick-ass maintainer one day. What number will I maintain? Who the hell knows? I've learned enough reading weight loss blogs for 4 years that what one thinks will be the end number isn't always the right end number. One may have to be realistic and accept a higher one; one may have been not optimistic enough and do well with a lower one.

I actually wonder what a "maintenance phase" type of challenge would be like, how would it be set up, since some would lose more, some try to stay in a small range of ideal weight, some realize they can't hold the low weight and need a higher number.....

Well, that's something for me to ponder, since I plan to have to do it, even if it's on my own. My own "maintenance phase challenge" to get me in gear for a  lifelong phase of maintenance.

One day. Soon, I hope. :)

Phase 5 ends in June. June is a special month for me. LOTS of things to celebrate related to me and hubby. It's a "very few clothes" time of year in Miami, cause it's when hurricane season (read hot and muggy and wanna die to get into a cool place while terrified of the weather reports season) starts and when we all sweat and have a hard time keeping our hair from frizzing and makeup from melting. Mosquitoes and mug. Ugh. BUT...with fewer clothes (and bathing suits for the ones not afraid to show hanging skin or rolls of fat), we're gonna be so glad we were in the DDDY and made progress.

Here's to making bigger strides before summer makes us reveal our skin to the world....

Happy Saturday!

(Off to have FUN now...and burn some calories...see ya...)

Day 9 of Son of DDDY Challenge: Milestone crossed, history in "numbers", blogging as a weight loss aid, water as "Gastric Band" for surgery-wussies, WonderSlim Discount, and Realizing I'm gonna have to learn to make soups....

This is a milestone!

Today: 245.2

I already posted about my milestone, but since this is the official post for the challenge, I'm gonna say it again (plus I like saying it): I'm no longer morbidly obese. I've joined the ranks of the many Americans who are "severely" obese. I hope to join those who are merely obese in a few months.

Eventually, I plan to settle into being "just overweight". I have no goal set to be utterly normal weight or utterly slender or even sorta-skinny. I just keep my eye on "roughly 160 lbs". I may settle down at a higher or lower number. Do not know how I'll feel with the saggy skin and all. I'm already mildly horrified by the looseness of my skin suit, even with the Pilates-regularly-for-2.5 years-muscle under there. And thank God for the muscle!

I started blogging in May of 2007 to try to motivate myself and get support for losing weight. I had a hard time losing weight since ages, but moreso when severely depressed in this new millenia. I treaded a lot of water, but I learned not to totally give up, which is not a "nothing" thing. It matters. Staying in there, still believing you could do it, waiting for something to switch on. It's not nothing.

I've seen bloggers spin their wheels for a long time, then--blam!--they're on a roll and get to or near goal weight and see things differently. They've dealt with issues. They've learned to cook. They've taken up walking or biking or marathoning or weight-lifting or yoga or Pilates. They've found what works for them and their tastes/appetites. They've learned boundaries.

Blogging is a way to express, to learn, to connect, to be accountable. It can be, anyway. It can be painfully obvious when the posts are all lined up by date to see when you are not doing what you need to, when you are slacking. It's also cheering to see results in posts, to see where things got learned. It's great to find camaraderie in the journey. It's AWFUL to see bloggers die--but also motivating. Reminds us time is fleeting and life is short. Shorter and more fleeting if we get some horrid fat-related disease prematurely.

So, I'm really glad I started blogging for weight loss 3.5 years ago. It kept me coming back to see how others were doing even if I was floundering. It kept me from giving up. And it led me to great tips that are helping me. And hell, lots of recipes. And humor. Humor helps. And some tough love that helps, too.

And the whole honesty and accountability I find essential. I put my numbers out there to force me to face them. I started food logging to remind me how much I'm eating calorie wise and to be able to analyze what makes for better "losing". It also makes me think TWICE AND THRICE when I eat if I know I gotta account for it on the scale or in a blog. If you need something to keep you a bit stricter, put your picture, your weight, and your food log right there where anyone can see it. See how that does it for you...

Here is my weigh-in history as it stands on my old blog, Once Upon a Diet, way down the left sidebar:

05/25/04: 299.0
05/16/07: 285.5 *(-3.5) (-13.5)
05/23/07: 284.5 *(-1.0( (-14.5)
06/06/07: 284.5 *(-0.0) (-14.5)
06/13/07: 282.5 *(-2.0) (-16.5))
07/29/07: 286.0 *(+3.5) (-13.0)
08/23/07: 284.0 *(-2.0) (-15.0)
08/22/07: 287.5 *(+3.5) (-11.5)
08/26/07: 283.5 *(-4.0) (-15.5)
08/29/07: 282.0 *(-1.5) (-17.0)
09/05/07: 280.0 *(-2.0) (-19.0)
09/13/07: 281.5 *(+1.5) (-17.5)
*waist=47 *hips=58 *BMI=45.35
09/18/07: 280.0 * (-1.5) (-19)
09/27/07: 279.6 * (-0.4) (-19.4)
10/04/07: 280.4 * (+0.8) (-18.6)
10/10/07: 277.0 * (-3.4) (-22.0)
10/17/07: 272.6 * (-4.4) (-26.4)
10/24/07: 275.6* (+3.0) (-23.4)
10/31/07: 275.6* (+/-0) (-23.4)
11/07/07: 275.2* (-0.4) (-23.8)
11/15/07: 274.8* (-0.4) (-24.2)
12/05/07: 278.2* (+3.4) (-20.8)
12/13/07: 274.4* (-3.8) (-24.6)
12/19/07: 273.2* (-1.2) (-25.8)
12/31/07: 274.0* (+0.8)(-25.0)
01/07/08: 271.0* (-3.0) (-28.0)
01/21/08: 272.6* (+1.6) (-26.4)
01/28/08: 272.0* (-0.6) (-27.0)
02/04/08: 271.2* (-.08) (-27.8)
02/11/08: 270.2* (-1.0) (-28.8)
02/19/08: 269.4* (-0.8) (-29.6)
03/23/08: 273.0* (+3.6) (-26.0)
04/25/08: 268.8* (-4.2) (-30.2)
Went AWOL, got to 278.8!
06/28/08: 272.2* -------(-26.8)
Waist: 44.5 Hips: 55.5 BMI: 44.5
07/22/08: 275.4* (+3.2) (-23.6)
--exercising as of 6/30, gaining muscle!
07/31/08: 273.4* (-2.0) (-25.6)
09/18/08: 272.0* (-1.4) (-27.0)
10//31/08: 273.0* (+1.0)(-26.0)
11/09/08: 271.8* (-1.2) (-27.2)

01/01/09: 277.8* (+6.0) (-21.2)
02/17/09: 279.6* (+1.8) (-19.4)
06/23/09: 272.2* (- 7.4) (-26.8)10/22/09: 276.8* (+4.6) (-22.2)
10/29/09: 273.8* (-3.0) (-25.2)

11/10/09: 271.6* (-2.2) (-27.4)

11/14/09: 268.6* (-2.0) (-30.4)

01/01/10: 267.0* (-1.6) (-32.0)

04/11/10: 266.4* (-2.2) (-32.6)
04/21/10: 270.0*(+3.6) (-29.0)

04/28/10: 267.0*(-3.0) (-32.0)
06/03/10: 266.0*(-1.0) (-33.0)

06/16/10: 263.2* (-2.8) (-35.8)

07/02/10: 261.4* (-1.8) (-37.6)
07/10/10: 259.6* (-1.8) (-39.4)
07/25/10: 258.6* (-1.0) (-40.4)
08/14/10: 256.6* (-2.0) (-42.4)
08/24/10: 255.2* (-1.4) (-43.8)


Moved to new blog:

09/03/10: 258.0* (-2.8) (-41.0)
09/10/10: 256.6* (-1.4) (-42.4)
09/17/10: 255.2* (-1.4) (-43.8)
09/24/10: 254.8* (-0.4) (-44.2)
10/15/10: 252.8* (-2.0) (-46.2)
10/22/10: 251.0* (-1.8) (-48.0)
10/29/10: 249.8* (-1.2) (-49.2)
11/05/10: 248.8* (-1.0) (-50.2)
11/17/10:  245.2* (-3.6) (-53.8)

As you  can see, something clicked THIS year, and the loss is better and more consistent. Whatever it was the clicked is also what led me to start this new blog that is more goal-oriented and accountable.

Okay, back to WATER: I'm starting to see water intake as a way to have a sort of gastric band without having one. I mean, it does require learing new eating habits. Instead of chew-chew-chew and such, it's glug-glug-glug. I find if I drink 4 to 8 glasses of water before a meal (not as much with 2, at minimum 4), I start getting those little "I'm starting to get full" stomach stretching signals and I can enjoy a smaller meal and, at times, head off a binge urge. But it must be consistent and it must be all day. Water all day. Water before meals. Water after if I'm craving dessert.

It gives that "stuffed" sensation which so many of us conditioned hypereaters find necessary to STOP stuffing.

The sense of fullness that surgery offers may be at hand with lots and lots of water. It may not be AS effective in cutting down portions, slowing down eating, but it has a very clear value that studies show--What? Didn't you read the recent headlines about water before meals?--and that I and others on this challenge are learning. Fill up the belly with insane amounts of fluids and you can start getting the "I'm full" signal before the food starts to hit the mouth.

And you poop better. Well lubricated intestines. hah.

Okay, so I just had my breakfast and need to log it. Which reminds me. For those of you who have been curious about my WonderSlim adjunct foods--Note: I don't do the WS Diet. I just use their producs, as well as BariWise and Kay's Naturals, all of which I get from Diet Direct or Netrition, low-carb product providers--they have a holiday sale going on. So, not only are the WS Hot Cakes I love on sale by a buck off, and not only can you get the standard 10% off for purchasing 149 bucks or more worth of products, but if you buy 49 or 165 bucks worth (to stock up) and use the holiday codes Holiday10 or Holiday15 respectively, you get either an additional 10 or additional 15 bucks off. So, I'm gonna stock up and get the $10 off and 10% off and $1 per box off. It adds up. I use these religiously and love the Vanilla and CocoMint protein shakes, so worth it for me to get them in here in bulk.  Makes breakfast a no-brainer for me.  www.dietdirect.com

Now that cooler weather is here, I've also been having soup cravings. I love soup. I buy canned or buy from restaurants, and on occasion have been known to make the Weight Watchers zero to 1 point soup (with tomato juice, chicken broth, and assorted veggies with spices and bay leaves). I really do need to get my crock pot out and learn to make some soups that aren't loaded with sodium. I don't like the bloat I get from canned/restaurant soups, though soups are a filling and easy lunch option. Anyway, must scour the web (and clean my crock pot). I adore bean soups and may make carby room for them. Make for yummy tummy and extra-good poops. heh (more poop talk).

Done with the rambling, on to the food logging:

BREAKFAST:
WS hot cakes with sugar free syrup and 1/4 cup natural applesauce & cinnamon
1/2 cup Egg Beaters with 1 slice 2% American cheese and 1/2 cup mushrooms
2 cups coffee
8 glasses water (4 before and 4 after)
assorted supplements (C, Quercetin, Potassium, Magnesium, Calcium, Multi, D, Fiber)

calories: 454
fluids: 80 oz

LUNCH: (feeling icky, souptime!)
1 cup Amy's lower in sodium Mushroom soup made with 1/4 cup organic lowfat milk
WS hot cocoa protein drink made with 4 oz water and 4 oz lowfat milk
1/4 cup mushrooms (in soup)
1/4 cup mashed potatoes mixed into soup
3.5 BariWise fat free biscotti
6 glasses of water (48 oz)

Calories: 382
Fluids: 52 oz

DINNER:
Big Ass Salad with organic goodies from Co-Op:
Spinach, cucumbers, tomato, 1 hard boiled egg, 1/8th cup blue cheese crumbles
2 tbsp blue cheese dressing, 1/2 haas avocado
1 Supreme Protein bar (small size)
1 cup decaf with sucralose (8 oz)
6 glasses water (48 oz)
various supplements

Calories: 682
Fluids:  56 oz

SNACK:

WS Vanilla protein shake made with 8 oz water
decaf coffee (8 oz)
Calories: 100
Fluids:  16 oz

Total Calories:  1618
Total Fluids: 204

Day's goals for calories and fluid met.

I am officially no longer MORBIDLY OBESE! Even exacerbated asthma can't bum me out today!!!

Not my scale, just my weight

Tanita-san told me this today: 245.2

I got on the scale FOUR times, turning it on and off, to make sure. One of those times, it winked a 245.0 at me. I assume he was feeling playful and teasing me. The other three times: 245.2 .

I got my OMRON fat loss monitor. It said: "BMI = 39.6"

This jives exactly with the online one: 39.6

I am now categorized as "severely" obese.

Not so great, yes, but great, yes? Heh.

There was a point where I was more than half fat, percentage-wise. Today I'm 45.3. Down from 46.0 in October. Down 48.3 a year ago. Down from 51% in 2004.

It's been progress since that high-weight low point. But this year has been especially good. And this challenge has been especially motivating. Thanks, Allan.

I"m feeling unwell, which mitigates my celebration. It feels like a strong fella has his big mitts around my throat and is choking me. Breathing feels like someone plugged up my nose 80%. For those of you with asthma and allergies, you know what I mean. Energy is down as a result. I don't even feel like blogging.

But this is momentous for me, so I will.

I am really happy. So happy.

When I was 299 lbs (and maybe more, who knows, scales being scales and me not weighing constantly back then), this number seemed so far away. When I was struggling to get out of the 270's, which took me ages, this number seemed a distant dream. I haven't weighed this little since around 1999.

It's really nice to be here. And now I look forward to the 230's with hope. And 199 seems less impossible. Seems actually probable. Amazing what a milestone can do for one's confidence. Not to mention the most weight I had ever lost was 34 lbs. I've now lost a scosh less than 54. And I do not feel demotivated at all.

I do feel like crap physically at the moment. But I'm so, so happy!

The Milestone Numbers

On  my previous diet blog, I did a post about the magic numbers. Fat people seem to always have certain weights they associate with certain time periods or milestones, I think. (From what I've read on blogs, at least). If you asked me what was my magic weight, it wouldn't be the slimmest I ever was or the slimmest I wanted to BE (and never was). It would be what I weighed when I got married: 154.

But I have other "milestone numbers", which is what would be the weight numbers that show I've crossed health classification levels. Here, from that Once Upon a Diet post in June of this year:

I was fiddling with the NIH's BMI Calculator. I know I'd done this before--trying to figure out where I stopped being obese, etc, but I'd forgotten.

So, I did it again.

The WHO's classification for obesity is this:

BMI	Classification
< 18.5	underweight
18.5–24.9	normal weight
25.0–29.9	overweight
30.0–34.9	class I obesity
35.0–39.9	class II obesity
≥ 40.0	class III obesity

Well, at my highest, my BMI--as approximated using the NIH calculator-- was 48.3. That means that at 299, I was in a subset of Class III obesity called super obese.

When I started this blog at 289 lbs in 2007, my BMI was 46.6. Still super obese.  Today, I was a scosh over 263, which has my BMI at 42.4. No longer in the worst category, but still in Class III. This is morbidly obese.

To leave Class III, I'd have to get down to 246, at which weight my BMI would be 39.9 and Class II Obesity, and I'd be considered severely obese.  At 216, I'd have a BMI of 34.9 and be in Class I--plain old obese. No scary modifiers.

But 186 lbs is THE magic number: No longer obese at all. Merely categorized as overweight. BMI of 29.9.

My goal "end weight" for this blog is 160. That's not my magic Wedding Day number. It's not even my larger "happy weight" of 175, a weight at which, while I was large, I was able to feel flexible and not look too large dressed up. In fact, I could dress up, cause my belly wasn't gargantuan. :) The medical charts would still have me as overweight, but let's be frank: I'd have so much hanging leftover skin at 160, that you could take away 20 + pounds just for excess flesh, and that would put me well into ideal medical weight zone.

The short-term medical milestone goal for me is 246 lbs. I'd no longer be officially morbidly obese. And that's a bit under 9 lbs from where I am today. I will be most celebrative when I see that number on the scale Milestone. :D

What are you magic and milestone numbers?