That brings me to 112 pounds lost.
I'm happy about that. If I lose 2 more pounds, I am numerically, officially, finally, not obese anymore. Two more.
Exercise: I'm out of the habit. Yep. I put off and put off--hubby this, me that, reasons, yadda--walking and didn't. And realized that I'm OUT of the habit. Before, I'd get antsy if I didn't do my walking and Pilates. Now, I'm happy to sit on my butt again.
This is why I don't take "vacations" from healthy eating. I've read the studies (last year, again this year) on how the brain keeps old habit pathways intact, but new ones can be more "active", let's say. And as you keep doing the new stuff, you make the old habits less pressing. However, revert to old ways, and old habits become more pressing.
While I didn't slack on eating well while having our horrible event, I was totally not exercising. Old couch potato leanings are in force. This is bad. I have to now exert my full will to get myself to move again.
I know, I really do know, that a few weeks of doing my exercise thang and THAT will be my habit again. But now I have to fight to regain that momentum and habituation.
Sucks.
This is why you don't stop.
This is why you don't say "Oh, just while I'm on vacation" or "Just for my birthday weekend". This is why the brain and old habits can be our enemies, while the brain with new habits are our allies.
This is why.
It's hard now. It wasn't hard before.
Old habits don't really die, or if they do, they die hard. DIE, DAMN YOU, DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Okay, so, that was the good and the bad.
I have a ton of laundry to do, my food for today to plan, grocery shopping, and EXERCISE. (And I get the "don't wanna" thoughts just typing "exercise", I kid you not.)
If you have inculcated good habits, keep them up. Slack off and you have to do all the heavy lifting of new-habit forming again.
It's not only positive physical habits I am working on. I started reading a Dallas Willard book last night. I bought it a few months back, but I'm only getting onto it now. I wanted a spiritual read and something to encourage me to move forward and not be beset by grief, fears, doubts. Just keep an eye on TRANSFORMATION, which is my word for this year. Change. Transform. Renew.
He uses quotes from Scripture, of course, and from famous authors. I looked up one of his CS Lewis quotes to get the larger quotation. I like it. I like thinking that we are working to change ourselves, yes, not just on the outside, because inside/outside is interlinked in humans. I believe in soul/spirit/mind, not just body/brain. And I've learned that for me, the inside has to change first to make the outside (words, actions) change. I truly believe we are outside, in what we say and do, what we already are inside. And if we want to change the outside, the inside must be transformed.
For me, mind and soul and, above all, will have to take the step first.
When we cooperate together to take those steps, encourage each other, we're helping in transformations. I think that's pretty cool. Thanks to those who've helped me--authors, bloggers, friends, family. Change is hard. Change is necessary. I hope we're all moving to that better destination, even an inch, today.
Here's the quote, and let's all become "everlasting splendours":
It is a serious thing to live in a society of possible gods and goddesses, to remember that the dullest and most uninteresting person you may talk to may one day be a creature which, if you saw it now, you would be strongly tempted to worship, or else a horror and corruption such as you now meet, if at all, only in a nightmare. All day long we are, in some degree, helping each other to one or other of these destinations. It is in the light of these overwhelming possibilities, it is with the awe and the circumspection proper to them, that we should conduct all our dealings with one another, all friendships, all loves, all play, all politics. There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilization—these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub, and exploit— immortal horrors or everlasting splendours.
15 comments:
You'll get over this hump. I think you have to consider the past couple of weeks. Besides, just look at you. You're down 112lbs!!!! I have faith in you. :)
You are so spot on today. I have slipped on my plan and those old habits want to overwhelm me. I'm going to have to get right back on that horse and fix this now while I'm making some headway on the scale. I just need to recommit myself. I wish you the best as you get back into your workout routine. I know you can do it. Hugs.
I just read the other day a sentence that that I am reminded of as I read this quote. It went something like this, "Those of us who long to sense God's presence in our lives, think of ourselves as human beings who are having a temporary spiritual experience when, in fact, we are spiritual beings having a temporary human experience."
Thanks for this post.
Deb
Wow! Congrats on losing 112 lbs! I hope one day I can say the same. You still continue to inspire me.
That word, exercise, has been haunting me lately. I gotta get moving ;)
You're so right about if you get out of the habit, it's SO hard to start back. I made the mistake of eating at 2 restaurants last week, (unusual for us), then I had a pop at a party and ate bad food. Just these simple things reminded me of what I used to do. My mind changed and I wanted to go out to eat again. I started craving Diet Coke, (haven't in years now). I didn't want to eat healthy, I just wanted to eat. I didn't do anything really stupid but my mind was betraying me. No, my HEART was betraying me, I WANTED these things which was odd. We both have to get BACK into our habits. This has been a bad summer for me and I just can't GET it. I don't know what it is. The wind has got to change, right??
I love your scale, you are so awesome. I can't wait for those 2 lbs. off of you, I know you'll be doing a happy dance!!
Hi Mir! Yeah, it's so easy to get derailed and out of the exercise habit. I've been fighting with myself about getting out and exercising - the heat is just so brutal and it's so easy to say "just stay inside where it's cool". Eh.
That being said, four out of five times my good self wins over the inner brat and I get out and do something,even if it means I had to lower the intensity just to get done without a heat stroke. It's all good.
I'm so glad you're back! And so close to 'normal weight'! I'll be doing the happy dance for you when you slide by that magic number!
Thanks for the info on old habits and the research you did. That is crazy, but so obvious now that I think about it. Get back on track, remember how good it feels to rock out a great exercise routine. You have had such a rough time lately, take care of you in every way you can - that includes exercise. Be well, be strong!
I've found that trying to get back on track is one of the most difficult things to do!!
Now when I really want some junk food I try to remember just how hard it is :)
Stress makes it even harder!!
I have gotten out of the exercise habit as well before. It's hard to say how to "get it back" - that feeling of missing exercise if it's missed. I wish I had the answer. I would say stop feeling guilty about it. You can still lose weight. The urge to move will return soon and you will be back at it again.
Habits are such fickle things... it only takes a few days of not doing them and they disappear! Just force yourself for a few days, and the good habits will be back. What is the title of the book you're reading, I Googled the author, and I recognize some of the titles he's written, but I'm wondering which one you are reading?
Thrice Blessed, my bad. I did forget to link up/identify. It's this one: RENOVATION OF THE HEART
http://www.amazon.com/Renovation-Heart-Putting-Character-Christ/dp/1576832961
:)
Thank you ladies for the kind and encouraging words. I know I'm not alone in this "oh, it's hard to get back at it". And we will get back to it. Onward.
Oh, I have long been arrested by that quote from Lewis. It is sobering.
I also can relate to the problem of stopping exercise. I used to love to swim. I was swimming three times a week and I loved it so much I thought, "Why do I only have to swim three days? Who says I can't swim six?" Then I went into the hospital and had a long recovery from surgery and I've never picked the swimming back up. The thought of going to the pool wears me out.
I think the trick to starting back up is telling yourself you can just do twenty minutes. If I don't want to exercise because I was off for several days or even weeks, I can start slowly. What happens is once I'm back on, I usually go more than twenty minutes. But even if I allow myself to start back up slowly, it takes me no time to get back up to an hour a day.
I also think that old habits do eventually die. After I quit doing drugs it took me years to stop wanting them when people would talk about them or, worse, whip them out. But about five years after I quit someone offered me some coke and I was pleasantly surprised to find I had no desire whatsoever. It was great.
It is just plain amazing how old habit just don't die or go away when the new ones are so much better for us. Like biting my nails, I can go months, years without doing it and one bad month and their back to numbs. STUPID!!! Oh well, keep working on those good habits, you have formed so many of them you'll get them right back. Exercise is hard but feels so good, once we get back to it.
You can do this, I have mega faith in you. Just look at how far you've come and just how beautiful you are. Take care and have a blessed week.
First: congratulations on being only TWO pounds off to out of the obese category FOREVER!!!!!!! Wahoo!!!! Wahoo!!!
We can all find a million reasons not to eat healthy or exercise. believe me, I did and still do, too. This is hard and it is for life.
I have always loved CS Lewis. There is a wonderful old movie that you might like about him and how he found love (based on his life, not sure how accurate it is). He has many books about love. It is called Shadowlands. One of my favs.
michele
Congrats on your amazing accomplishments so far! I have a hard time getting into exercising but I've finally started and I can see what you mean about wanting to give in to those old habits, in the beginning it's worse:-)
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