Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Update: Tragic

Sorry. I'm just not mentally able to be here daily....

My beloved nephew died Saturday. He never regained consciousness after his kidneys failed, the cardiac arrest, the coma...

My sister and the rest of us are heartbroken and, well...it sucks.

The memorial is tomorrow.

I have spent all my time at the hospital or with the sis. I did stay home today to catch up on sleep, have clean clothes for the memorial service, pay bills, take vitamins and eat regular food so I don't get sick from stress, etc.

I have been unable to exercise, but I did resist the endless array of Cuban traditional and junk food (cheese and guava pastries, fried meat patties, battered-fried steak, ham croquettes, arroz imperial, pork rinds, sugary coffee drinks) and American junk food (KFC, McDs) that people came around with. I took veggie platters and fruit&cheese trays and carried my nut butters/protein bars and sugar-free beverages.  I battled the insane desire to devour croissants by the dozen or jump into a vat of macaroni and cheese soup every time I got decaf coffee and salads at the hospital's Au Bon Pain. It was tough--I had raging comfort food cravings. I resisted. I have not gained weight.

Some relatives who came from out of town or hadn't seen me in a year did not recognize me. Walked right by  or saw me sitting right there and still asked, "Where's Mirtika?"  Others asked for diet advice. A lot. I got that a lot. It's very disconcerting, I've found, to be wildly complimented over and over when you are breaking down into tears all the time. But, I know it was kindly meant.

Today, after getting some needed rest and sleeping finally free of stress nightmares, I had a calm appetite return.Tomorrow's post-memorial family feast will be dealt with. I got through the worst. If I can NOT stress-eat at this awful time, clearly, I've changed. I can deal with any sort of food crap sitting for hours in front of my face. I wish I hadn't had to learn that, though, not like this.

I don't know when I'll check in again...cause I really need to be with family and my sis now (no computer/wi-fi at her house, she's a 70 year old tech-phobe). Fortunately, we're a close family, and we don't have to mourn solo....there's dozens of folks in and out, bringing comfort. It's at this time you are grateful the previous generation reproduced mightily.

I hope everyone out there is well. Please continue to hold and kiss and appreciate your loved ones while they are here. Take nothing for granted. Tomorrow--or the next minute--is not guaranteed.

And get healthy. For them.

Thank you for your kind comments and thank you for your prayers. He is with God now, my nephew, but I am so grateful for your comforting words and thoughts on our behalf. Please pray for my sister and BIL , who have the haunted eyes of parents who--like most parents-- never expected to have to bury their son.

Later...

45 comments:

Deb Willbefree said...

Oh, I am so sorry...so sorry. You are all definitely in my prayers. Deb

Rachellabelle - My Hips Don't Lie said...

{{{hugs hugs hugs}}} Praying for peace and strength for all.

oh_mg said...

Very sorry to hear this. :[ Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

Floriana said...

I am so sorry, Princess. My deepest sympathies go out to you and your family. *hugs*

Prof. D said...

Hugs for you and your family. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

spunkysuzi said...

I'm so sorry.
'hugs'
I'm definitely praying for your sister and husband

SO FAT 4 NOW said...

So sorry for your loss

spunkysuzi said...

I'm so sorry.
'hugs'
I'm definitely praying for your sister and husband

Natasha Vaughn, Designer said...

My heart goes out to your family. My heart just aches from reading this so I can't imagine the pain you and your family are going through. You are all in my prayers. God will give you the comfort that only He can.

Laryssa said...

Mi mas sentido pesame. Que Dios les de paz en estos dias a ti y a tu familia.

Michele said...

So, sorry for your loss. That is hard. Keep strong. Thoughts and prayers with you and your family.

Krystle kjb Bailey said...

So sorry for your loss!! Praying for you and your family. <3

Karen Butler Ogle said...

I'm so sorry for you loss, Mir. I will continue to lift you and your family up in my prayers. Take car of yourself and your loved ones. My heart and thoughts are with you.

Anne H said...

You and your family are in my thoughts -

Angela Pea said...

Oh Sweetie - I am so, so sorry. I will hold you and yours up in prayer. Hug them all tight.

Allyson said...

Hugs and strength to you and your family.

Julie said...

Prayers Mir for you and your family. For all that was and what could of been. I am sorry for your loss. Take the time you need and remember you will be in all of our hearts and prayers.
Take care Mir, God bless you and your family.

midlife_swimmer said...

so sorry for your loss mir... good on you for continuing to take care of yourself what a tribute that you are still making good choices!

MB said...

I am so sorry about the tragic loss of your nephew. No parent should ever have to lose a child. It's just heartbreaking. I will be keeping you and your family in my prayers. God bless.

Jo said...

You and your family are in my prayers, Princess. Take care and God bless.

debkhershberger said...

I have been keeping you and your family in my prayers!!

Kelly the Happy Texan said...

So sad. I know it's tough but I'm proud of you for taking care of you.

HUGS to you, sweetheart. You're in my thoughts daily. Do what you need to do. We'll be here for you when you come back.

❦ fitcetera said...

This sucks so much.
I'm so sorry, Princess.

downsizers said...

I am sorry about your family's loss. The grieving process is a difficult one but necessary for closure. Cry all you need to, comfort the others who need your strength even if you don't feel like you have it, and thank God for a family that can go through a loss like this in love.

Jacqui said...

I am so sorry for your family's loss. ((HUGS))

Robert's Mama said...

I am so sorry for your loss. Your nephew is now free of pain to watch over your and your loved ones. Rejoice in the memories you have of him and remember you will see him again. Congrats for not using this very difficult time in your life to just throw out all your hard work and go back to your old habits of eating. That is a huge HUGE accomplishment.

Debbi Does Dinner Healthy said...

Sending your family some super prayers that you can get through this. Praying for all the other families going through similar crisis like this too. I can't even imagine. I hope you and your family can soon find some peace.

Rettakat said...

How bittersweet, to learn this way that you have truly changed within.

I will continue to pray for you and your family. Grieve in your own way... take whatever time you need. We will be here whenever it's best for YOU to be here.
Loretta

Jeannette said...

I'm so sorry. Don't know what to say other than *hugs*, take care of yourself, and we'll be here waiting when you feel you can return.

Mike said...

The loss of a loved one is a stark reminder of how beautiful and fragile life is. I love that you use such a hard time for you and your family to encourage others to appreciate what they have. Much love to you and your family at this time.

Alissa (A Journey to Thin) said...

So sorry for your loss.

Dr. Fat To Fit said...

So sorry. Thoughts and prayers for you and your family.

1girl1dress1year said...

I am so sorry, I just caught up on reading your blog.

I wish I had words to heal, but my thoughts are with you none the less.

Thrice Blessed said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm praying for your family.

Yum Yucky said...

My heart breaks over this news. I pray strength and comfort for you and your entire family.

Julie said...

Just wanted you to know I've been thinking about you and hoping that things are okay. I know not "okay" but hoping managable. You are in my heart and prayers.
Take care Mir, God bless you and your family.

debkhershberger said...

Checking in to say Im praying for you! Thinking about you and your family!! God bless!!

Thursday's Child said...

hey dear, just wanted to say I'm thinking of you

Julie said...

Good morning Mir. Just checking and letting you know that we are here for you when you're ready to come back. Life throws us some pretty crappy things at times but you will suvive, you are strong and one day things will be great again.
Take care and God Bless!!!

Lena said...

Mir, I've been away from blogland because I'm in the middle of a move. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I'll be lifting you and your family up in prayer.

Karla said...

I am so sorry for your loss, ((((hugs))))))

FatAngryBlog said...

Oh no! I am so sorry for your loss -- I came over to check up on things and was very sad to read this.

You and yours will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers.

*HUG*

CarbSane said...

A big cyberhug to you. I'll be keeping you and your family in my prayers to get through this most trying of times. Stay strong lady!

Miss April said...

I hope things are okay, as good as they can be. Be blessed, be strong.

moonduster said...

I am so very sorry for your loss. My prayers are with you and your family. (((hugs)))

~Rebecca