Friday, July 29, 2011

My First Day Back to Finding Some Normality Again...random stuff, including some food stuff, some scary stuff, some weepy stuff, some spiritual stuff, some transformational stuff, wonderful stuff

I slept until I felt rested. Nice.

I weighed in, to get back in the habit: 187.6
New Low: Nice. And that with having two starch servings with dinner (boiled yuca with EVOO and garlic and 1/2 cup rice).

I had brown rice with breakfast. I guess that's my starch serving for today.

I prayed: Felt calm. I was bawling again last night (worried about sis' health), so this was a good feeling.

It had been a long time since I felt strong leadings from God or had anything like a vision, and I've had two this past month. I don't doubt that just the intensity of one's feelings, the extent of prayer time, and the more time spent in pondering spiritual things puts one in a more receptive mode. Perhaps, yes?

A call from someone from a very good company looking to see if hubby was interested. Interesting, but worrisome. I don't want to move away from family. This company has several locations in North America, and none are in the South Florida area. Hm. Mixed feelings here.

I have so much to do here--I'm talking seriously a ton of stuff that's frightening me, it's so overwhelming-- in order to position us to move, should that become necessary.

I've lived in the Eastern time zone all my life. ALL MY LIFE. I've never traveled out of it, unless Puerto Rico/St. Thomas counts. To be in Canada or California,etc, the very idea feels freaky. I'm so an "Eastern" gal. And now such a Florida gal. And really, such a Miami gal. It's just weird to imagine being someplace else. I'm praying NOT to have to be someplace else. But am trying to become more flexible, just in case.

I'm not feeling vexed at all these days about food. The temptations came daily and I fought them off. I didn't have a strict enough caloric count to lose much, but I felt really in control. It's a strange new feeling. I want to hold on to that for my whole life. I really like feeling NOT dominated by food desires. Feeling like I am becoming the master (mistress?) of my appetite.

I found the comments on this blog post really interesting. The complicated stuff around losing and keeping weight off, what is the best way to eat, etc, is endlessly interesting to me. I know part of my journey this time is learning what my body likes and can handle. What is optimum, and what is livable...  It's gotta be lifelong, and while some scoff at eating in a way NOW while losing that is livable for life, I think it's a rational way to proceed. I have to diet forever. It's just how it is. I want it to be enjoyable and nutritious, but not...obsessive. That's the path I am trying to forge...so far, so good. But since "pride goeth before a fall", I keep my eyes and ears and heart and mind open to new information and science and psychology and want to be a learner. Learn what's the latest, but adapt it to what "I" need to make it work.

I'm not panicking. I'm not anxiety-ridden (as I normally would be). Death puts other changes in a huge new perspective, a different context.

Anyway, I called hubby and asked if he'd be home in time to walk. Answer: yes.

Restarting old habits.

And...

New starts for new habits.

Today: A new day. "I will rejoice and be glad in it"...as much as I can.

Be well.

7 comments:

Suzan said...

Welcome back to blogging.

Moving is always scary, but sometimes an adventure can be something we don't even know may be good for us. Drier climates generally improve health problems that may thrive in hot/humid places. I've moved around the country a lot, and it's amazing how God has always brought me unanticipated blessings after a move, even a difficult move.

I hope it all works out for you, and congrats on the weight loss.

Keeping you in prayer.

Miss April said...

Welcome back, you definitely have a full plate right now. Things will fall into place and sometimes life ends up better than we could have ever planned because of a change. Take care.

Rachellabelle - My Hips Don't Lie said...

Your posts are so honest and inspirational. Thanks for sharing the good and the bad with us.

Julie said...

Doors open and doors close and sometimes it's just hard to know but the Lord will show the way and you will do and be exellent in what ever happens. Keep up the great work Mir, you new life style is amazing to watch and read about. Take care and have a blessed weekend.

Ms.ScooterButt said...

I am happy to check in on you and see you online.

foodteacher said...

Welcome back.

Food Freak said...

This is so beautiful. I love to read your blog because of that. Each entry teaches me something about joy. I'm reading from the most recent, backward to the first one I missed in June, so I'm not up to speed on the emotional pain you've been suffering. However, from foodteacher's post, apparently you were gone for a while. I'm relieved to know that you haven't given up.

I'm here for you--always.