I had allowed plenty of calories for the party. I did fine with the omelette and Serrano ham and Machego cheese and garbanzos with chorizo. I didn't have much rice (though, really, I should have skipped that). I skipped cake and had some Valrhona dark chocolate and 1/2 cup of of soft serve ice cream with strawberries and crunch (this last is, in my opinion, the worst choice at supper, since it was reflexive and it wasn't even all that good. It was the, 'oh, it's time for dessert" rather than the "this is amazing and I a gonna have a treat". Waste of calories.)
Then that weird "it's later evening and I wanna eat" impulse that has always been my downfall through the decades hit. Weird, as I hadn't felt the late night snackies hit that often this summer. So:
1 2 inch slice of French bread with olive oil
2 tacos and 1 enchirito at Taco Bell
What? What the hell was that? I'd been doing well with fast food so what hit that?
(Note: I do want to say that a typical Taco Bell visit last year would have been easily double that order, sometimes triple. I have had meals that included 2 tacos, 1 taco salad (sans shell, which is icky) or burrito and nachos. Or 3 tacos and 1 burrito. Or 2 burritos and 1 or 2 tacos. Yes, I could eat that much. A person doesn't get to 300 lbs eating just 2 tacos.)
I'm assuming that the sugary dessert and carby French bread evening double-carby-damage splurge set me up for the impulsive "on the drive home" detour to crappy fast food.
My appetite is a much calmer beast when I avoid the white bread, white rice, and sugar and load up on protein and fiber. I don't buy white bread for the house, haven't in years. I can eat a whole loaf of French bread (with butter or EVOO or cheese). It's like what potato chips are for other people. A trigger to "not just have one".
We have one excellent, one pretty good, and a couple so-so Mexican places in my neighborhood. Had I wanted a really good taco or enchilada, I could have hit one of those places. Why Taco Bell? Cause it was there
Yeah. I'm in the car, my late-night-snack-frenzied mind is looking at the shiny signs as hubby drives home. My brain is working at it, feverishly, steadily, like some sort of stalker--what can we stop for? What? What?
I keep saying no, no, no, but the will power caves and you pick whatever is your last chance before the turn into "no restaurant avenue to the house".
It's a sickness, I swear. It's like a junkie.
I know some of you out there have this same thing happen. It's like your body is possessed, right? Geez, I hate that feeling.
And over Taco Bell? Let's fac it: Food there's not even that good. Really. I know what good Mexican food tastes like--had it homemade by Mexicans, had it in a Zagat-rated restaurant, had it from a Mexican family down south who dish home recipes from a truck.
Taco Bell ain't good Mexican and it's not even good food, period.
It's just the salt-fat delivery system. Prolly sugar, too, if the sauce is accounted for.
Fat-salt-sugar for the junkie.
Anyway, I woke up, saw the 1.5 bloat and prolly some fat (though I suspect mostly bloat) price on the scale.
And today, it's back to eating for a calm brain. I hate the "desperation brain" that sugar foists on me.