OK, I did not warrior-it-out yesterday. I had a SECOND tossed salad with dressing and a second helping of chicken breast at dinner. I chose to self-indulge. No excuses. The brat, clearly, is still making the decisions. But, hey, no truffles!
Today, I had my first Pilates "class", after having done privates from June 2008 to June 2012, before we had our income go down about 12%. Pretty significant difference. It went fine, as some folks cancelled, so it was just two of us doing the Reformer set. I worked hard, and I worked out still sore from Monday.
Yesterday, I walked 30 minutes, struggling with a bit of knee instability and "foot drop" in my left leg. When the damaged knee acts up, the foot acts up. Just how it is. I did do the "open to a random page" thing before going walking to get a verse to meditate upon, and it was beyond suitable, when taken in a different context than intended by St. Paul in 14th chapter of the epistle to the Romans, when taken for my particular situation: Do not, for the sake of food, destroy the work of God.
In a very real sense, those of us who overeat are destroying one of God's works--ourselves. Food is not more important than we are.
Anyway, Plan for the rest of the day, movement: I'll test to see if I can do the walk today. It's in the plan unless I decide to just rest it. The day is warm and lovely, so might as well take advantage, if possible.
Plan for the rest of the day, food: Stay at or under 1700 calories. When I have some good 1700 calorie days under my belt, then go down to 1600, and then to 1500, where I'll settle for a spell. I'll evaluate 1400 later. Right now, just staying under 2000 again would be mighty nice.
Since I Kindled the updated version of BEATING OVEREATING, now called DITCHING DIETS, by Gillian Riley (which I mentioned in the previous post, where you will find an Amazon link), I'm committing to reading some chapters out of it before I do some house chores and get to my writing time. I need to get to the point of BEST choices, and, clearly, I ain't there.
Looking forward with hope and faith.
Be well...
Showing posts with label obstacles to exercise. Show all posts
Showing posts with label obstacles to exercise. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Still Maintaining...kinda blah, otherwise.
Ah, got nothing to blog about. Just not feeling it. But I wanted to update my weight tracker, and I'm still maintaining:
173.4
Last time I updated my weight tracker--sidebar left--it was 173.8.
So, pretty much the same, huh? :)
I hope you are all doing well. Keep on fighting on. It's tough, yes, and I'm having some good days and some bad days, and it's a little mood dip time for me (I get those). I'm turning to mush from not exercising (still haven't worked up that mojo), so the struggle continues.
It's a lifelong thing, after all--and we do know this, right?--so it's not like we can ever just forget about the needful things on this journey. They never stop being needful--the vigilance, the discipline, the time-making for the necessary shopping, food prep, movement. I'm shopping better, but I'm still not moving enough. This will turn around, too, because it's vital. I recall too well how great it felt to have those muscles and the fitness level higher. It felt GREAT.
I want to feel great again. For now, a little down, a little bleh. It will pass.
Be well, all...
173.4
Last time I updated my weight tracker--sidebar left--it was 173.8.
So, pretty much the same, huh? :)
I hope you are all doing well. Keep on fighting on. It's tough, yes, and I'm having some good days and some bad days, and it's a little mood dip time for me (I get those). I'm turning to mush from not exercising (still haven't worked up that mojo), so the struggle continues.
It's a lifelong thing, after all--and we do know this, right?--so it's not like we can ever just forget about the needful things on this journey. They never stop being needful--the vigilance, the discipline, the time-making for the necessary shopping, food prep, movement. I'm shopping better, but I'm still not moving enough. This will turn around, too, because it's vital. I recall too well how great it felt to have those muscles and the fitness level higher. It felt GREAT.
I want to feel great again. For now, a little down, a little bleh. It will pass.
Be well, all...
Sunday, September 2, 2012
"Hey, Fat Girl!"--and if you're a heavy person exercising in public, feeling eyes on you, read this...
Seriously, READ THIS. It's fabulous.
Read it especially if you're AFRAID to go out there and move cause you're 200, 250, 300,, 350 or plus...pounds.
I know firsthand how hard it is to move when the body is burdened with fat. I got to 300 lbs.
And I know what it's like to be morbidly obese and walk into a Pilates studio full of fit, slim folks--and in my case, MODELS, bona fide "in national magazines" models. Me, at 280 lbs, ungracefully climbing on and off equipment like a drunk turtle, huffing and puffing, oozing sweat, while sleek dancers and models elegantly "glowed" in their slim splendor and mutant beauty all around me, yeah, me with my size 4x workout wear. Yep, FOUR X. I had to mail order it, cause Sports Authority and places didn't have those sizes. (Click Phat Pilates tab up under the blog header to see some pics taken after I'd been doing Pilates a bit.)
But I did it. It took me months to work up the nerve, but my desire to get healthier overcame all shame, embarrassment, and fear.
I started walking regularly while still obese. At 240 or so pounds. It was hard. I could barely manage 10 minutes without pain in my feet and knees, without feeling a bit woozy.
But I did it.
In time, bit by bit, I could go faster and farther and longer.
And then, little by little, I got props--from the trainers, fellow exercisers, neighbors seeing me walk and get slimmer month by month, family members, my husband, who noticed I could keep up with him when we went out and had to walk blocks...and not feel like I had to sit down and gasp.
I think some small-minded folks will always ridicule those of us who are big and trying to be less big when we hit the streets or the gym. The idiots abound in every society.
But the kind folks are out there, too. Folks who will high five and thumbs-up a large person, male or female, making the effort. Folks who will give you a second wind just with a smile of approval.
I make it a point --and did back then--to encourage my fellow fatties (and I say that with empathy and affection) in our exercise efforts. A thumbs up. A smile. A word or phrase to say, "I notice you and you are fabulous."
Remember that if you're NOT big, if you're out and see a hefty person on a bike, or out for a walk or jog, or trying to work a gym machine: It takes courage for them to go and do that. On top of that courage, it's physically taxing in ways non-fat people cannot imagine. The thighs that rub hard together, the feet can overpronate. Bending over can be quite an effort, or not possible. The extra effort to just MOVE, the painful joints...all these things are obstacles one has to overcome to keep going. It takes guts to breathe hard, sweat, jiggle, and wear revealing workout wear in public.
If you haven't gone out there to MOVE out of shame or fear, I say this, and you should say it, too: Screw the idiots and screw the shame. GONNA DO IT FOR ME!
And if you're doing it: God bless you and keep at it. You're gonna feel the change.
Hey, Fat Girl. Hey, Fat Guy. Listen up. Keep moving forward. You rock!
And when I was morbidly obese and exposing myself to the eyes of dancers and models and skinny joggers in my neighborhood, I rocked. I rock when I don't let the creeps get me down. When I do it for my good and for the good of those who love me and want me to have a long life.
You're heroic, big person moving it out there where eyes can see every jiggle and limp. Keep walking, running, moving. Don't let any critics make you stop!
I bow to you, too!
Read it especially if you're AFRAID to go out there and move cause you're 200, 250, 300,, 350 or plus...pounds.
I know firsthand how hard it is to move when the body is burdened with fat. I got to 300 lbs.
And I know what it's like to be morbidly obese and walk into a Pilates studio full of fit, slim folks--and in my case, MODELS, bona fide "in national magazines" models. Me, at 280 lbs, ungracefully climbing on and off equipment like a drunk turtle, huffing and puffing, oozing sweat, while sleek dancers and models elegantly "glowed" in their slim splendor and mutant beauty all around me, yeah, me with my size 4x workout wear. Yep, FOUR X. I had to mail order it, cause Sports Authority and places didn't have those sizes. (Click Phat Pilates tab up under the blog header to see some pics taken after I'd been doing Pilates a bit.)
But I did it. It took me months to work up the nerve, but my desire to get healthier overcame all shame, embarrassment, and fear.
I started walking regularly while still obese. At 240 or so pounds. It was hard. I could barely manage 10 minutes without pain in my feet and knees, without feeling a bit woozy.
But I did it.
In time, bit by bit, I could go faster and farther and longer.
And then, little by little, I got props--from the trainers, fellow exercisers, neighbors seeing me walk and get slimmer month by month, family members, my husband, who noticed I could keep up with him when we went out and had to walk blocks...and not feel like I had to sit down and gasp.
I think some small-minded folks will always ridicule those of us who are big and trying to be less big when we hit the streets or the gym. The idiots abound in every society.
But the kind folks are out there, too. Folks who will high five and thumbs-up a large person, male or female, making the effort. Folks who will give you a second wind just with a smile of approval.
I make it a point --and did back then--to encourage my fellow fatties (and I say that with empathy and affection) in our exercise efforts. A thumbs up. A smile. A word or phrase to say, "I notice you and you are fabulous."
Remember that if you're NOT big, if you're out and see a hefty person on a bike, or out for a walk or jog, or trying to work a gym machine: It takes courage for them to go and do that. On top of that courage, it's physically taxing in ways non-fat people cannot imagine. The thighs that rub hard together, the feet can overpronate. Bending over can be quite an effort, or not possible. The extra effort to just MOVE, the painful joints...all these things are obstacles one has to overcome to keep going. It takes guts to breathe hard, sweat, jiggle, and wear revealing workout wear in public.
If you haven't gone out there to MOVE out of shame or fear, I say this, and you should say it, too: Screw the idiots and screw the shame. GONNA DO IT FOR ME!
And if you're doing it: God bless you and keep at it. You're gonna feel the change.
Hey, Fat Girl. Hey, Fat Guy. Listen up. Keep moving forward. You rock!
And when I was morbidly obese and exposing myself to the eyes of dancers and models and skinny joggers in my neighborhood, I rocked. I rock when I don't let the creeps get me down. When I do it for my good and for the good of those who love me and want me to have a long life.
You're heroic, big person moving it out there where eyes can see every jiggle and limp. Keep walking, running, moving. Don't let any critics make you stop!
I bow to you, too!
Thursday, August 2, 2012
The Ease with Which New Habits Fade and Old Habits Reimpose...it's Scary! AND Some Pics of Me Now at 170 lbs.
I'm still alive. :D Stress is a daily thing and hubby is still hunting for work, but we took time yesterday to enjoy a beach worship service.
The sand fleas and mosquitoes were fierce, and before we were done, lots of scratching going on--blame it on not enough wind, a flattish sea, and the stagnantish water from the Intracoastal. The strip where the service went on was a narrow bit of beach between Intracoastal and the Atlantic.
The pastor said it was usually fine when the wind blew well. Pelicans and seagulls flew overhead and beachgoers laughed and bathed. Some swimming and paddleboarding. Some fishing off the pier. Nice to see some roped off areas where sea turtles were being protected prior to hatching. :D
I sat on a nylon bag on the sand and looked at how I've lost muscle off my legs. Seriously, I have not exercised in more than a month, and it shows. I feel less dense. I feel less strong. Bad old habit reimposed. And now I have to remotivate myself to move and recreate the nicer shape/density I had. It's tough. Nearly back to being the old slothful me. Not good.
Yes, it's THAT easy to get out of good habits.
Hubby sat behind me, much less attacked by the wee bitey things. I guess I was his wall of protection. They were too busy munching on me.
After we closed the service with a worship song--"His love never fails"--I headed to the water to get some saltwater on my bites. I rolled up my loose capris and splashed water on arms and legs and then just played a bit.
It was a lovely respite from studying, writing, job hunting, worrying. Yay for sun and water and seabirds and songs and kids laughing and encouraging words and an amazing moon rising over the ocean. (I didn't get a good pic, sigh).
Sunday I was 170.4, and then had a family thanksgiving dinner (a relative was healing well after a life-threatening event and ICU stay). I ate traditional Cuban fare--meaning not a whole lotta veggies, lots of starch, and flan. First time I have a really sugary regular dessert in ages. I forgot how good that crap is. ; )
I'm at 170.0 today. Appetite returned to normal (not binge normal, just normal for the last couple years), and I'm back to my two meals and roughly 1600 calories, not the 500-800 when the anxiety first hit. My lowest was 168.6, and then I bounced up to 172 and back down, depending on the salt level of my foods.
So, my body is mushier sans nearly daily exercise, sans Pilates. My appetite is normalized. And I keep the faith that good things will come.
But I definitely need to set goals again for movement and not mess up after good progress.
Habits die hard if they're bad, and die easy if they're good sometimes. So, we must be on the alert. Always. Always....
God bless. Be well.
 |
| My legs, loose capris, and the gospel of Luke |
The sand fleas and mosquitoes were fierce, and before we were done, lots of scratching going on--blame it on not enough wind, a flattish sea, and the stagnantish water from the Intracoastal. The strip where the service went on was a narrow bit of beach between Intracoastal and the Atlantic.
The pastor said it was usually fine when the wind blew well. Pelicans and seagulls flew overhead and beachgoers laughed and bathed. Some swimming and paddleboarding. Some fishing off the pier. Nice to see some roped off areas where sea turtles were being protected prior to hatching. :D
I sat on a nylon bag on the sand and looked at how I've lost muscle off my legs. Seriously, I have not exercised in more than a month, and it shows. I feel less dense. I feel less strong. Bad old habit reimposed. And now I have to remotivate myself to move and recreate the nicer shape/density I had. It's tough. Nearly back to being the old slothful me. Not good.
Yes, it's THAT easy to get out of good habits.
Hubby sat behind me, much less attacked by the wee bitey things. I guess I was his wall of protection. They were too busy munching on me.
 |
| Hubby with the Dania Beach pier behind him |
After we closed the service with a worship song--"His love never fails"--I headed to the water to get some saltwater on my bites. I rolled up my loose capris and splashed water on arms and legs and then just played a bit.
 |
| beach joy |
It was a lovely respite from studying, writing, job hunting, worrying. Yay for sun and water and seabirds and songs and kids laughing and encouraging words and an amazing moon rising over the ocean. (I didn't get a good pic, sigh).
Sunday I was 170.4, and then had a family thanksgiving dinner (a relative was healing well after a life-threatening event and ICU stay). I ate traditional Cuban fare--meaning not a whole lotta veggies, lots of starch, and flan. First time I have a really sugary regular dessert in ages. I forgot how good that crap is. ; )
I'm at 170.0 today. Appetite returned to normal (not binge normal, just normal for the last couple years), and I'm back to my two meals and roughly 1600 calories, not the 500-800 when the anxiety first hit. My lowest was 168.6, and then I bounced up to 172 and back down, depending on the salt level of my foods.
So, my body is mushier sans nearly daily exercise, sans Pilates. My appetite is normalized. And I keep the faith that good things will come.
But I definitely need to set goals again for movement and not mess up after good progress.
Habits die hard if they're bad, and die easy if they're good sometimes. So, we must be on the alert. Always. Always....
God bless. Be well.
Thursday, June 14, 2012
Still Down a bit; Still Up A Bit; Time for Maintenance; and Working to Transition to Creative Project While Not Losing all Weight Loss Habits...
I'm at 180.0.
I'm still feeling down and apathetic.
I have barely left my house in the last 3.5 weeks.
I haven't gotten together with family since Mother's Day.
Yes, this is not good and this does not make me happy.
That I'm not right back into obesity (ie, 185+ pounds for me) is a miracle. Some good habits have held, thank God. But they can slip so easily. So easily. I see an extra portion here and there. Days with hardly any movement.
On the plus side:
I walked day before yesterday, 25 minutes, at night to counter my heat intolerance. It was nice, if a little scary: I live in a high crime area, so walking at night solo is a risk.
I marched in place yesterday for 15 minutes and did some stretches. I managed a teaser on my yoga a few times. So, I was happy. Even late last year, I couldn't do that.
One of my reasons for losing weight was to improve my health and focus so I could tackle writing again. For those who haven't been reading my blogs for years, I used to write (poetry, fiction--both short and novel length-- and edit for online SF mags). I won a few contests, started networking with fellow writers, and then had two editors from two publishing houses I was targeting ask to see my manuscript. Both were enthusiastic. Both contacted me; I did not contact them. They'd seen my chapter and were excited.
I freaked. All my neuroses went on hyper. I stopped being able to write. Blocked. It's been five years now. My fear overtook me.
So, getting healthy was about overcoming my blocks and compulsions, but I needed health to do that. So tackling my weight was the big #1 project to open doors to the things I want to do before I die. Like organize my life/home/finances. Like travel. Like socialize like normal folks, instead of being an urban hermint. Like write. And not just write ONE thing. Make writing a part of my life. Earn money doing it. :)
I've pretty much accepted that my body doesn't want to go lower than this maintenance range I've been in for more than 7 months. The sacrifices in burning calories and lowering food intake are not feasible for me. We all come to conclusions about what we are WILLING to do, willing to suffer, willing to put out for an outcome.
I'm not willing to sacrifice more for a slimmer physique.
This is it. I have hit the wall and the wall is okay. I am not unhappy at this weight. As long as I don't slack on exercising--like I have with this depression--as long as I get back to consistent working out, I can live well here. 178 to 181 is not a range that disgusts me.
I accept it.
If later, I want to tackle it strongly again, I'll reconsider. But mentally and physically, I seem to have hit the place where eating modestly (1600 calories) and working out without feverishness has settled me.
I am content, if not deleriously pleased. :)
I want to move on to the other big projects. Organization and Creating with Words.
I can't give the last 20 lbs my undivided focus when I have to move forward. Time is fleeting. I can live at this weight. So, I will now focus on MAINTENANCE. I may have to shift to another blog name, since I am no longer focused on hitting 160 by Sept 3. I am focused on maintaining this range I've been maintaining (177 to 181 or so) while doing the other projects.
How this transition will happen, blog-wise, I'm not sure. I may rename this one, or open another blog. But I need to move on to finding my writing and organization mojo (they are linked, in my mind).
With the iffiness of hubby's employment situation--his company is doing big layoffs--organization and financial revamping becomes even more key. We may have to move cross-country. Who knows? Hope not, but preparation can't hurt. Just in case. I want to think of it as an adventure, and fight my neuroses telling me it's panic time.
I'm hoping FERVENTLY that my creative brain didn't decay too much through disuse these last 5 years. If I created something that interested editors in 2006 and 2007, then I can do it again. I hope. :D It will take months to get back into writer mode. I start..today!
There ya go. This is where I am. Moving along to Projects 2 (and 3). Yep. This one panel comic says it for me:
Be well...
I'm still feeling down and apathetic.
I have barely left my house in the last 3.5 weeks.
I haven't gotten together with family since Mother's Day.
Yes, this is not good and this does not make me happy.
That I'm not right back into obesity (ie, 185+ pounds for me) is a miracle. Some good habits have held, thank God. But they can slip so easily. So easily. I see an extra portion here and there. Days with hardly any movement.
On the plus side:
I walked day before yesterday, 25 minutes, at night to counter my heat intolerance. It was nice, if a little scary: I live in a high crime area, so walking at night solo is a risk.
I marched in place yesterday for 15 minutes and did some stretches. I managed a teaser on my yoga a few times. So, I was happy. Even late last year, I couldn't do that.
One of my reasons for losing weight was to improve my health and focus so I could tackle writing again. For those who haven't been reading my blogs for years, I used to write (poetry, fiction--both short and novel length-- and edit for online SF mags). I won a few contests, started networking with fellow writers, and then had two editors from two publishing houses I was targeting ask to see my manuscript. Both were enthusiastic. Both contacted me; I did not contact them. They'd seen my chapter and were excited.
I freaked. All my neuroses went on hyper. I stopped being able to write. Blocked. It's been five years now. My fear overtook me.
So, getting healthy was about overcoming my blocks and compulsions, but I needed health to do that. So tackling my weight was the big #1 project to open doors to the things I want to do before I die. Like organize my life/home/finances. Like travel. Like socialize like normal folks, instead of being an urban hermint. Like write. And not just write ONE thing. Make writing a part of my life. Earn money doing it. :)
I've pretty much accepted that my body doesn't want to go lower than this maintenance range I've been in for more than 7 months. The sacrifices in burning calories and lowering food intake are not feasible for me. We all come to conclusions about what we are WILLING to do, willing to suffer, willing to put out for an outcome.
I'm not willing to sacrifice more for a slimmer physique.
This is it. I have hit the wall and the wall is okay. I am not unhappy at this weight. As long as I don't slack on exercising--like I have with this depression--as long as I get back to consistent working out, I can live well here. 178 to 181 is not a range that disgusts me.
I accept it.
If later, I want to tackle it strongly again, I'll reconsider. But mentally and physically, I seem to have hit the place where eating modestly (1600 calories) and working out without feverishness has settled me.
I am content, if not deleriously pleased. :)
I want to move on to the other big projects. Organization and Creating with Words.
I can't give the last 20 lbs my undivided focus when I have to move forward. Time is fleeting. I can live at this weight. So, I will now focus on MAINTENANCE. I may have to shift to another blog name, since I am no longer focused on hitting 160 by Sept 3. I am focused on maintaining this range I've been maintaining (177 to 181 or so) while doing the other projects.
How this transition will happen, blog-wise, I'm not sure. I may rename this one, or open another blog. But I need to move on to finding my writing and organization mojo (they are linked, in my mind).
With the iffiness of hubby's employment situation--his company is doing big layoffs--organization and financial revamping becomes even more key. We may have to move cross-country. Who knows? Hope not, but preparation can't hurt. Just in case. I want to think of it as an adventure, and fight my neuroses telling me it's panic time.
I'm hoping FERVENTLY that my creative brain didn't decay too much through disuse these last 5 years. If I created something that interested editors in 2006 and 2007, then I can do it again. I hope. :D It will take months to get back into writer mode. I start..today!
There ya go. This is where I am. Moving along to Projects 2 (and 3). Yep. This one panel comic says it for me:
Be well...
Friday, June 8, 2012
Heat Intolerance sucks
I went walking for the first time in 3 weeks yesterday with hubby. We waited until evening so it was a bit cooler. We've had hot, humid weather. Lots of thunderstorms (what kept me inside at first, then the mood issues demotivated me.)
I could barely tolerate it. Made it through 20 minutes only by focusing. I felt so hot and weak, like I was gonna pass out. My legs were shaky. I was panting. I felt woozy.
I'll note that I did my Pilates session with my trainer and got through it fine. Indoors. With a/c. But the heat/humidity outside got to me. 8pm and it was overcast, humid, and in the 80s.
I walked fine all last summer, even in humid weather, and that was when I was a bit hypothyroid, so I was feeling "chilly", as hypothyroid folks will tend to when they are a bit out of range. I was comfy for the most part last summer, and enjoyed having a time outside.
I guess when I see the endo in July (regularly scheduled appt), I'll find out if she needs to tweak me. I want to be able to walk again, but it's a fine line where I am euthyroid, and it's hard to STAY there.
Heat intolerance is tough. I start hyperventilating, feeling weak, feeling like I'm gonna burn up and pass out. Hate it. Wish I had a normal thyroid and didn't have to keep adjusting meds with weight changes or after active thyroiditis incidents. Well, you do what you can and keep the faith that medical science progress improves the situation.
I miss walking now. Wish someone could follow me around blasting icy air. :D
Be well...
I could barely tolerate it. Made it through 20 minutes only by focusing. I felt so hot and weak, like I was gonna pass out. My legs were shaky. I was panting. I felt woozy.
I'll note that I did my Pilates session with my trainer and got through it fine. Indoors. With a/c. But the heat/humidity outside got to me. 8pm and it was overcast, humid, and in the 80s.
I walked fine all last summer, even in humid weather, and that was when I was a bit hypothyroid, so I was feeling "chilly", as hypothyroid folks will tend to when they are a bit out of range. I was comfy for the most part last summer, and enjoyed having a time outside.
I guess when I see the endo in July (regularly scheduled appt), I'll find out if she needs to tweak me. I want to be able to walk again, but it's a fine line where I am euthyroid, and it's hard to STAY there.
Heat intolerance is tough. I start hyperventilating, feeling weak, feeling like I'm gonna burn up and pass out. Hate it. Wish I had a normal thyroid and didn't have to keep adjusting meds with weight changes or after active thyroiditis incidents. Well, you do what you can and keep the faith that medical science progress improves the situation.
I miss walking now. Wish someone could follow me around blasting icy air. :D
Be well...
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Ready for Summer Update #9: Next To Last Week...and a loss, at last. Still depressed, though...Oh, and Exercise? What exercise?
Tanita-San:177.6
Last Week: 178.8
Um, color me shocked. I was hoping for staying the same and afraid of regain (I had a couple days when I ate over 2000 calories.)
I did not one lick of exercise. NOT ONE. I cancelled my trainer sessions and just wallowed a bit in my depression. I've slept 12 hours pretty much most days. I feel completely lacking in vim.
So, clearly, I sucked this week. I met NOT goals other than the weight and fluid ones. That's it. And I had to struggle to do this update, as my motivation is at ground level. Well, not in the basement, or I would be 10 pounds up by now. But I'm hanging on enough.
The loss is a fluke. Maybe the stress burns calories. Hubby's company is set to lay off anywhere from 2K to 6K employees, so I'm stressing BIG time. And still depressed. Stress, anxiety and depression.
Maybe the loss is from muscle atrophy from not doing squat. Could be? ; )
I checked on something: We started this challenge with 57 folks. Last week, 21 updated. We lost 36 challengers along the way.
To all who are sticking by your commitment to this challenge, good for you. I've not done well, but I committed, so I'm trying to hang in here and update and be accountable.
It's lovely to see some former challengers from my previous challenges--Jo, Nanette, etc--hanging in!
To those who dropped out, what happened? Did you struggle a lot, too? I feel ya. Don't lose heart. Try again.
I flunked this challenge so far. No question. And I don't wallow for it. Not one bit.
A look back to now: My initial goals of activity were often met. My caloric ones, less consistently. My fluid ones 99%. I missed some mini-challenges, especially as the depression came on.
I think if I hadn't had this accountability, I'd be in a worse place. Maybe. Only God knows. BUT...I think so. So, for that alone, I am very grateful. Thank you, Maren.
I hope some of the ladies who ditched the challenge reassess, make an update, and join in for the finale. Let's finish together. Only one week left. ONE week is enough to recommit, to make some progress, to learn something, to encourage someone, to be encouraged. One week can count!
Okay, specifics for week past, then the final week goals:
I didn't make it in time to link up to the mini-challenge, but what I planned for it was to resume tracking. I'm struggling even with consistency with tracking, but at least trying to makes me think about calories more, daily. My apathetic and depressed self didn't get on this until FRIDAY of this past week. BUT, it was having this challenge in mind that got me back on that horse. Because of that, I was able to assess again where my food is, the state of my eating. This is valuable. :D
My NSVs were not wallowing in delivery. I gave in two days to delivery Chinese, a type of food I'd almost given up as I'd lost weight. Part of me was craving that old comfort. But then I caught myself and stopped on the rest of the days when I didn't wanna dress or make food. I wanted to make calls and have food brought to me. So, for me, the NSV was saying no to that 5 days out of 7. It wasn't easy. My depressed brain wanted the salty-fatty-delivery. Instead, I dragged myself to the kitchen and made my eggs or my salad or my soup when sloth got the better of me. This was my NSV for the week. A minimal one, but it counts a lot to me. The days I said NO were more than the days I said YES to bad habits from the past.
Goal for last week: I would love to end the challenge a little lower than I started, but if I end up the same weight, it will still be a victory to me. Not gaining is a victory to me, especially when my heart is not in it and being back in it even a bit is a daily fight.I think if I can get beyond my own emotional dark-block and MOVE in the SUN, I'll feel better and maybe lose a bit. So, the only goals I'm setting is to continue tracking and to move, at something, anything, just get out of my brooding bed and move.
Not quitting, ever. :)
Be well
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Ready for Summer Update #7: Well, that was a surprise. A good one. And no, I'm still not on top of my game...
Tanita-san: 178.8
Last week: 179.8
Back down to where I was two weeks ago.
Waist: 34.75 (unchanged)
I had been as high as 182.2 this week . I though I'd show a 3 lb gain in this update.
(Why? Here's why: Lots of salty foods, more carbs than usual--a bowl of oatmeal with raisins and cinnamon on Wednesday, and I hadn't had oatmeal in, sheesh, more than a year maybe? and beans 3x this week, black and navy and pinto/refried--as well as an increase in snacky stuff, like chocolate and gluten-free cookies).
Seriously, my food has been teetering on the verge of head-diving into the pit, teetering...teetering..
I have hardly been on the ball here.
I have had some of my controls in place--no binge, some exercise, moment when I had to say NO, NO hard when I almost called for delivery stuff out of laziness ,but then cooked the pasteured chicken breasts and made low-salt sauce.
But others waivered quite a bit( eg, no walking AT ALL, partly due to the loads of rainstorms, mostly cause I got really slothful and demotivated to do so. Sugar crept back in in chocolate and gf cookies) No gold star here.
Even my fluid intake was waffley--some days great, two days under desired amounts.
I am not proud of myself at all.
I am happy some good habits remained, enough in place not to send me totally into a tailspin of disaster. Good habits can only hold on so long before they fail if not reinforced.
This week, I plan to make a plan for reinforcement. Maybe tape it up to the kithen cupboard. Back to my 3 cups of water before meals. Back to focusing on less starch and curtail snacks. Back to my ONE diet-friendly dessert AFTER DINNER only. BACK TO WALKLING (even if I may have to do some radical rescheduling, since the rainy season seems to have come in and is keeping me in afternoons/early evening, when I normally walked). I'm not a morning person. AT ALL.So, it's either figure out how to MORNING-IZE my walk to do indoor cardio (hate that, really) with DVDs.
Stress is minimized a bit, but it's still simmering.
I've been praying. A LOT. I'd say I've prayed more the last week than in the two months prior. It's intensive. And I intend to keep that up. I've felt less frazzled emotionally doing so.
GOALS: Well, pretty much the original ones in the opening challenge post. It feels gargantuan to me in my state of mind (demotivated). Still...and again, I will be happy if I show no regain, but my head and heart want that 1/2 pound loss minimum.
I wish everyone a very happy holiday weekend. To all the mothers, God bless you. Be strong and courageous as you raise your young ones (or continue to advise and comfort your not-so-youngs ones) and have a lovely special day. My mother is in Heaven with the Lord, and I know she is waiting for us, like Moms always do, for the great homecoming.
Be well...
Last week: 179.8
Back down to where I was two weeks ago.
Waist: 34.75 (unchanged)
I had been as high as 182.2 this week . I though I'd show a 3 lb gain in this update.
(Why? Here's why: Lots of salty foods, more carbs than usual--a bowl of oatmeal with raisins and cinnamon on Wednesday, and I hadn't had oatmeal in, sheesh, more than a year maybe? and beans 3x this week, black and navy and pinto/refried--as well as an increase in snacky stuff, like chocolate and gluten-free cookies).
Seriously, my food has been teetering on the verge of head-diving into the pit, teetering...teetering..
I have hardly been on the ball here.
I have had some of my controls in place--no binge, some exercise, moment when I had to say NO, NO hard when I almost called for delivery stuff out of laziness ,but then cooked the pasteured chicken breasts and made low-salt sauce.
But others waivered quite a bit( eg, no walking AT ALL, partly due to the loads of rainstorms, mostly cause I got really slothful and demotivated to do so. Sugar crept back in in chocolate and gf cookies) No gold star here.
Even my fluid intake was waffley--some days great, two days under desired amounts.
I am not proud of myself at all.
I am happy some good habits remained, enough in place not to send me totally into a tailspin of disaster. Good habits can only hold on so long before they fail if not reinforced.
This week, I plan to make a plan for reinforcement. Maybe tape it up to the kithen cupboard. Back to my 3 cups of water before meals. Back to focusing on less starch and curtail snacks. Back to my ONE diet-friendly dessert AFTER DINNER only. BACK TO WALKLING (even if I may have to do some radical rescheduling, since the rainy season seems to have come in and is keeping me in afternoons/early evening, when I normally walked). I'm not a morning person. AT ALL.So, it's either figure out how to MORNING-IZE my walk to do indoor cardio (hate that, really) with DVDs.
Stress is minimized a bit, but it's still simmering.
I've been praying. A LOT. I'd say I've prayed more the last week than in the two months prior. It's intensive. And I intend to keep that up. I've felt less frazzled emotionally doing so.
GOALS: Well, pretty much the original ones in the opening challenge post. It feels gargantuan to me in my state of mind (demotivated). Still...and again, I will be happy if I show no regain, but my head and heart want that 1/2 pound loss minimum.
I wish everyone a very happy holiday weekend. To all the mothers, God bless you. Be strong and courageous as you raise your young ones (or continue to advise and comfort your not-so-youngs ones) and have a lovely special day. My mother is in Heaven with the Lord, and I know she is waiting for us, like Moms always do, for the great homecoming.
Be well...
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Ready for Summer Challenge Update #6: A mostly FAIL week...
Tanita-san: 179.8
Last week: 178.8
Up a pound.
And I am in this weird sort of floaty, unfocused, demotivated mindset. I didn't do a single cardio workout. I did my 2x trainer workouts (but I know if I hadn't had these appointments, I'd likely have done squat.)
I've been spending a lot of introspection time and a lot of time decluttering (which made my allergies surge up due to dusts). I threw out 5 bags of assorted old papers, magazines, expired hygiene items, threadbare washtowels, clothes (unwearable).
It's like as one project is moving on, my brain can't focus on keeping me diet and exercise motivated completely. I ate out more (salty, fattier than at home), and that is reflected in the gain. Well, plus NOT moving as much.
I have nothing really helpful to offer except that when we don't put the effort in, the results suck.
Also, I'm about ready to call in the maintenance phase. I'm tired this week, so tired, of looking at this out-of-reach number month after month and not getting there. I'm not willing to live on any significant change in calories. I'm not willing to ratchet up the exercise (although I need to go back to my steady level, and that will take effort right now). I need maybe to say, "Okay, accept that this is where you'll be."
I'm THIS close to just saying that. Really.
But I worry it's the demotivated me talking, not the rational me.
This week: I'm setting minimal goals. JUST DO NOT GAIN MORE and find a way out of the blahs.
I wish I were peppier and more encouraging, but right now, I'm stuck in a rut in the road and don't feel the energy to jump out of it.
But I'm not quitting. And I will find the wherewithal to move again...
God bless. Be well...
Last week: 178.8
Up a pound.
And I am in this weird sort of floaty, unfocused, demotivated mindset. I didn't do a single cardio workout. I did my 2x trainer workouts (but I know if I hadn't had these appointments, I'd likely have done squat.)
I've been spending a lot of introspection time and a lot of time decluttering (which made my allergies surge up due to dusts). I threw out 5 bags of assorted old papers, magazines, expired hygiene items, threadbare washtowels, clothes (unwearable).
It's like as one project is moving on, my brain can't focus on keeping me diet and exercise motivated completely. I ate out more (salty, fattier than at home), and that is reflected in the gain. Well, plus NOT moving as much.
I have nothing really helpful to offer except that when we don't put the effort in, the results suck.
Also, I'm about ready to call in the maintenance phase. I'm tired this week, so tired, of looking at this out-of-reach number month after month and not getting there. I'm not willing to live on any significant change in calories. I'm not willing to ratchet up the exercise (although I need to go back to my steady level, and that will take effort right now). I need maybe to say, "Okay, accept that this is where you'll be."
I'm THIS close to just saying that. Really.
But I worry it's the demotivated me talking, not the rational me.
This week: I'm setting minimal goals. JUST DO NOT GAIN MORE and find a way out of the blahs.
I wish I were peppier and more encouraging, but right now, I'm stuck in a rut in the road and don't feel the energy to jump out of it.
But I'm not quitting. And I will find the wherewithal to move again...
God bless. Be well...
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Final Update: E2E Challenge and an eye to a future challenge for those "Close to Goal"...
Tanita-san now: 177.8 lbs
Starting weight: 183.0 lbsEnding waist: 34.75 inches
Starting waist: 36.0 inches Challenge loss: 5.2 lbs
Waist decrease: 1.25 inchesI did not meet my challenge goal to lose 10 pounds. I lost a bit over half.
I did meet my challenge goal to get my waist under 35 inches. I measure with a Myotape, always, for years, so it may or may not be accurate, but at least it shows a consistency.
I found out a month and a week into the challenge that my thyroid status was bad. This certainly helps explain why I was having trouble and gaining/regaining, was losing hair, had horrible joint pain (gout-like pain), suffered increasing lethargy, experienced lowered mood, and slept up to 16 hours some days, 14 others.
I'm pretty sure that this is improving,though I dont' get retested until next week. My hair loss has stabilized. My energy is up. I'm sleeping fewer hours, the weird joint pains have resolved and all that's left are the usual arthritic/bursitic/torn ligament issues and pain. And after having regained to 184 pounds and change, I'm back down to my nearly lowest weight on this journey. I'd say the increased thyroid med dosage has come into play. :D
I still do not fit into the dress, though I fit BETTER into it. I'll just repost the pics from a couple days back, since it's pretty much where the dress fits now:
My starting weight/stats/photos can be viewed here.
I stayed hydrated nearly every day of this challenge. I supported my buddy and some fellow challengers--and it was never my goal to support ALL 18, but I always met the minimum of supporting at least 3 a week in addition to my buddy. I never missed setting up a linky for the challenge-mates. I didn't quit.
My main helpful book this challenge was THE WILLPOWER INSTINCT, and if you have willpower issues, yes, I recommend it. The other book for the challenge was THE SMARTER SCIENCE OF SLIM. If you've gotten to obesity and want a healthful way of eating that helps keep appetite calm and gets you plenty of nutrients and has some science behind it, this is a good one. Lots of studies, charts, and a very easy recommendation for a high-protein eating plan that keeps you full.
These two following were my guiding quotes, and they still apply. I will see them as quotes useful for the whole of 2012 or life:
"The ability to discipline yourself to delay gratification in the short term in order to enjoy greater rewards in the long term is the indispensable prerequisite for success."
~~Maxwell Maltz
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
~~Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
For me, after a time of struggle and health status decline, just hanging in and regaining ground feels like a victory. Imagine if I had quit...if I had tossed in the towel . I'd be 20 or more pounds heavier by now, given my lousy thyroid measure (5.5 points HIGHER than my normal status). I'd have eaten my way in short order back well into obesity. It's ridiculously easy to gain. Is this not so? It's hard to fight when you feel down, stressed, beset, tired, unmotivated.
It's what you and I do when times are rough that will determine how this works out long-term. If you give up, you lose the fight. If you keep at it, keep at it, keep at it, seeking solutions, finding strategies, working to hold on to even the smallest miniscule of motivation or lightest molecule of hope, there's a chance to turn it around.
But not if you QUIT.
I did not quit. Almost all of the challengers (17 out of 18) did not quit, and our Bluezy came back for the finale. I'm hoping all 18 of us check in by noon Monday!
I'm very proud of them.
I'm proud of me.
God bless us all and help us as we continue on this difficult journey to better health and a happy weight. For life!
I'll see you guys in the Ready for Summer challenge --my second week update will be posted prolly on Monday--and around our bloggy realm of fatfighters.
Finally, an announcement: FUTURE CHALLENGE IN THE WORKS!
I am considering a challenge for later in the summer called "Close to Goal" for those with 25 or fewer pounds to lose: That last stretch toward whatever is the chosen goal weight.
I'd want to keep it smallish and for those who have already lost a lot and just need to push through those tough last bunch of pounds. If that's something you might be interested in, keep an eye open. I'll probably fiddle with a a blog url I already claimed and, if time permits, play with the layout. There's a temporary blog theme there now.
I'll set it up in a few weeks at http://close2goal.blogspot.com.
Just an early heads up for those who may be interested, be qualified (have lost lots, need to lose a bit more) --with priority given to those who have already done and completed challenges with me. (If you quit on any of my challenges, don't join. I only want folks who'll stick it out. Sorry, but I get irked when people drop out of my challenges.)
So, see you soon, my dears. BE WELL. Blessings upon you....a holy Passover time...and a very, very joyful, love-filled, hope-assured Easter. Believe in a whole new life for yourself and others!
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Quikie E2E Final Midweek Update
Yesterday: 178.8
Today: 179.2
I've been icky feeling since Monday. I ate some take-out beef, and it totally did not agree with me. This is a weird sensation. It's not food poisoning in the regular sense--the fierce diarrhea and nausea and even puking, like I've had a couple times in my life.
This has been a lower level, "I don't feel well" thing, with queasiness, intestinal rumbliness without the runs, and light ache if I press my abdomen. The ache was worst Monday night and Tuesday, a real ouchie. Now, it's just annoying. It's better today, but I'm still not "normal". I have this weird "off" feeling. The persistent queasiness makes me annoyed. Just goes to show how important bowel health is.
I haven't exercised since Monday, so haven't completed the RfS exercise mini-goal. I cancelled Pilates for today. I hope this icky feeling passes by the weekend, as my family plans to do an out-at-the-park thing for Easter. I'd like to feel chipper, get my vigor back, and be able to destress with play-exercise. It's also really hard to get the scale to move sans exercise....
For now, I'm just kinda taking it easy and hating the "off" feeling.
I am eating fine--simpler food prepared at home.
I have been reading spiritual stuff for Holy Week, so no challenge reading, other than the online obesity articles I do tend to keep on top of.
So, doing "meh" due to some foodborne buggie. The stress factor is still high, and that makes the anxiety sort of burbe up (especially without my exercise destressor). More meditation and prayer, I guess, is in order. :D
Happy holy week to all. See you for the final E2E update (prolly Saturday, maybe Sunday.)
Today: 179.2
I've been icky feeling since Monday. I ate some take-out beef, and it totally did not agree with me. This is a weird sensation. It's not food poisoning in the regular sense--the fierce diarrhea and nausea and even puking, like I've had a couple times in my life.
This has been a lower level, "I don't feel well" thing, with queasiness, intestinal rumbliness without the runs, and light ache if I press my abdomen. The ache was worst Monday night and Tuesday, a real ouchie. Now, it's just annoying. It's better today, but I'm still not "normal". I have this weird "off" feeling. The persistent queasiness makes me annoyed. Just goes to show how important bowel health is.
I haven't exercised since Monday, so haven't completed the RfS exercise mini-goal. I cancelled Pilates for today. I hope this icky feeling passes by the weekend, as my family plans to do an out-at-the-park thing for Easter. I'd like to feel chipper, get my vigor back, and be able to destress with play-exercise. It's also really hard to get the scale to move sans exercise....
For now, I'm just kinda taking it easy and hating the "off" feeling.
I am eating fine--simpler food prepared at home.
I have been reading spiritual stuff for Holy Week, so no challenge reading, other than the online obesity articles I do tend to keep on top of.
So, doing "meh" due to some foodborne buggie. The stress factor is still high, and that makes the anxiety sort of burbe up (especially without my exercise destressor). More meditation and prayer, I guess, is in order. :D
Happy holy week to all. See you for the final E2E update (prolly Saturday, maybe Sunday.)
"The ability to discipline yourself to delay gratification in the short term in order to enjoy greater rewards in the long term is the indispensable prerequisite for success."~~Maxwell Maltz
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.~~Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Sunday, March 18, 2012
E2E Update #11: &^%$**~!!@ ...and yes, that means REGAIN, and this is the week where I put into action WILLPOWER INSTINCT exercises...okay, the VLOG update finally got YouTubed...here ya go!
After using this spot as a linky placeholder and trying umpteen times to get this VLOG uploaded to YouTube, here it is.
Weight: 182.4
Waist: 35
fluids fine
Exer: Pilates x2, walking x2 (goals not met)
Sleep: variable Mood: very good, but some lazy days
Support: minimum met. Kept up with some of buddy's blogs.
Book: reading it, starting one of the "I won't" challenges this week and beginning the 5-minute meditation recommended THIS coming week to work the "self control" muscle.
And on we go....happy and healthful new week to all!
"The ability to discipline yourself to delay gratification in the short term in order to enjoy greater rewards in the long term is the indispensable prerequisite for success."
~~Maxwell Maltz
Thursday, February 23, 2012
A Better Day Today: A "thank you" in VLOG form...(my first vlog, woohoo)
I added some notes on YOUTUBE, cause I made flubs ("drummist", mispronounced "Nakatani", Bible note). Hey, it's one take, no editing. So, flubs are normal. Heh. I am really HUMAN, see? :)
Sunday, February 19, 2012
E2E Challenge Update #7: Halfway Point, Backward Movement, and Yeah, I'm Ticked At Myself...The "Midway Pic"
Tanita-San: 180.6
Last Week: 178.4
Waist: Same as last week= 34.75
That is an uptick of 2.2 lbs, and puts me back to where I was a month ago.
Just to show the math is not as super neat as one may imagine, I have eaten this week roughly 500 calories more than my limit goal of 1500...roughly 2000. (Some days a bit over, some days under). I have NOT been disciplined, neither have I binged. I've been dipping into apathy about containment of portions, and it shows.
An extra 500 calories is ridiculously easy to do if it's calorically dense food--an extra tablespoon of dressing , some nuts, a couple extra servings of fruit, and a protein bar one day: voila! Or a couple of wedges of cheese, an extra yogurt/fruit snack, a couple boiled eggs. Although the blow-out was the Valentine's Day Godiva choco-strawberries. I have no idea the calorie count, though I went to the Godiva site and saw some estimates on calorie trackers. One woman had 40 calories, which is nuts. NUTS.
I figured 200 to 250 per strawberry, and I had FOUR. I did cut back on my meals knowing I was gonna have at least ONE....but there you go. Avoidance would have been better than moderation in this case. For sure.
Anyway, I used the higher count and went with 1000 cals of the things. If it's less great. I have no real guide. But anyone estimating 50 or 100 is probably really optimistic out there. Or deluded, maybe.
The math says I ought to have gained about a pound...um, yeah.
I didn't meet my goals this week, period. Not caloric. I missed 2 walking sessions (yes, the lethargy won this week.) I even missed fluids a couple days. I posted on my buddy's posts (did I miss any?), and went above the minimum for the challenge with support overall, but really, haven't been as much of a cheerleader overall as I could. Didn't even dive into the books for help. I'm just...not "head in the game." Please feel free to rah-rah and kick my ass. THANKS.
I'm getting dressed for my birthday party, so I'll add the pics and whatever later.
Quotes, where I ignore the first and hang on like a gal in rising waters to the second:
Last Week: 178.4
Waist: Same as last week= 34.75
That is an uptick of 2.2 lbs, and puts me back to where I was a month ago.
Just to show the math is not as super neat as one may imagine, I have eaten this week roughly 500 calories more than my limit goal of 1500...roughly 2000. (Some days a bit over, some days under). I have NOT been disciplined, neither have I binged. I've been dipping into apathy about containment of portions, and it shows.
An extra 500 calories is ridiculously easy to do if it's calorically dense food--an extra tablespoon of dressing , some nuts, a couple extra servings of fruit, and a protein bar one day: voila! Or a couple of wedges of cheese, an extra yogurt/fruit snack, a couple boiled eggs. Although the blow-out was the Valentine's Day Godiva choco-strawberries. I have no idea the calorie count, though I went to the Godiva site and saw some estimates on calorie trackers. One woman had 40 calories, which is nuts. NUTS.
I figured 200 to 250 per strawberry, and I had FOUR. I did cut back on my meals knowing I was gonna have at least ONE....but there you go. Avoidance would have been better than moderation in this case. For sure.
Anyway, I used the higher count and went with 1000 cals of the things. If it's less great. I have no real guide. But anyone estimating 50 or 100 is probably really optimistic out there. Or deluded, maybe.
The math says I ought to have gained about a pound...um, yeah.
I didn't meet my goals this week, period. Not caloric. I missed 2 walking sessions (yes, the lethargy won this week.) I even missed fluids a couple days. I posted on my buddy's posts (did I miss any?), and went above the minimum for the challenge with support overall, but really, haven't been as much of a cheerleader overall as I could. Didn't even dive into the books for help. I'm just...not "head in the game." Please feel free to rah-rah and kick my ass. THANKS.
I'm getting dressed for my birthday party, so I'll add the pics and whatever later.
Quotes, where I ignore the first and hang on like a gal in rising waters to the second:
"The ability to discipline yourself to delay gratification in the short term in order to enjoy greater rewards in the long term is the indispensable prerequisite for success."~Maxwell Maltz"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.~Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Weather/Walking; Male attention, both kinda interesting and sorta creepy; Blood glucose--first experimental testing; motivation to get in the 170s; dress for the challenge (provisional, as I still want red); and the bloat continues, thank you Greek omelette!...and, whoa, Katie J, I get "Your Computer May Be Harmed" when I try to See Your Blog Today.... today is last day I take requests for the CDC Challenge!
Okay, a few things, so I'll be all over the map. Kinda normal for me, anyway.
I'm hating the hurricane season weather messing with my walks. Being unusually sedentary this week (barring Tuesday's Pilates, and the scheduled session tomorrow) is making me a bit...droopy? I feel the difference in my body. I'm just not feeling as over-the-top energized. I felt great Tuesday after Pilates, and kept my workout clothes on to walk when the sun went lower, but the weather didn't let me. Sucks. I miss my walks. I wish hubby made it home in time to join me, cause I don't like the unusual uptick in male attention. It's kinda complimentary. It's also a little creepy. I mean, Starbucks, Publix, corner store, etc, I'm just having all sorts of guys, old and young, hot and not-so-hot start up conversations and look a little too interested.
I'm old and fat. What is it? My sweat give off sex pheromones or something lately?
Anyway, hubby keeps complimenting me and was expecially complimentary when I wore SHORT SHORTS (oh, yes, I did) to the family gathering for the holiday. I kiddie pooled it with the kids, and then we went to get some produce, me still in my Hard Rock cafe tee and super-short shorts. I was, like, um, honey, aren't these too short for the public? No, you're just too hot.
Well ,it's nice to be married to a guy still besotted with his droopy-skinned, saggy-cheeked wife. :) Love is nice. Guy at the deli asked hubby how we met, how long together, and it was obvious we got along lovingly. :D Well, me grabbing him and hugging him and nuzzling his neck while waiting for our low sodium ham might have been a clue.
Blood glucose: Since my A1c improved, my prediabetes resolved, and I finally got into the 80s blood sugar wise, as of June, I got a monitor recently to test at home how some meals affect me. Used it for the first time today, my Bayer Contour. I also got an Accu-check to use later on and compare to see if there was consistency.
First off: hate pricking my finger. Had to say that I commisserate with diabetic folks who have to do this A LOT. It's not that bad, but I only did it three times. (First time, the strip didn't take, the next two were fine.)
I had coffee with sucralose and no food right after I got up. Was supposed to get dressed to take sis out to birthday lunch. She's sick. So, I was home and up and figured, hey, why not? I don't know if coffee/sucralose would have any effect, but decided to do it.
Pre-meal glucose: 81
I ate a meal that was carby for me, my usual eggs/veggie/fruit, but ate a fruit and nut bar with an additional 20 carbs and also increased my fat intake due to the macadamias. My total carb count for breakfast was 52. That's more than I like, but I am testing my reaction.
I waited an hour.
Post-meal glucose: 88
Now, I know Dr. Davis says we can't know our glucose curve for particular meals unless we test eery 15 minutes over at least 2 hours, maybe even 3. But to hell with that many finger-pricks!
Still, for a gal who was prediabetic, heading for Type II, and whose glucose got as high as 123 (at highest weight) and was staying in the high nineties for most of the time in recent years, that made me happy. A carby meal and I didn't go one-hour postprandial nuts.
The glucose experiment will continue. Not sure what kind of meal I want to test next, but I do want to do TYPICAL meals...stuff I normally eat at home, to see how I respond.
On the motivation front, a couple things:
1. My Vera Bradley "Versailles" tote and saddle bag arrived today.
I'd LOVE to use them right now, but these were to be my reward to breaking down the 180s barrier. I had gotten to 181...I am now 183.6. No, I did not binge. No, I'm not scarfing down wickednesses. I am undersleeping and eating a lot of salty stuff and I'm paying the price. Good thing the challenge starts Sunday, as that will make me wean off too much cheesy and olivey yumminess in salads and eggs and motivate me to get to bed EARLIER. I always mess up my losing mojo when I cut back on sleep. If I have to do stuff with family, I always have to get up way before my normal arising time. This week has had 3 days of undersleeping, and only 1 day of nice, full sleep. I cannot let this continue. Not health-promoting, not weight-loss promoting.
2. My dress for the challenge has been ordered.
I didn't find a red one yet, but I wanted something tangible here for motivation, so I ordered a black lace number that caught my eye. It had what I wanted: form-fitting, but not immodest; some sleeves, cause my hangy/crinkly upper arm skin is not festive; knee length or thereabouts; cut so I could wear a supportive bra or shapewear.
This one seemed good, a Marina black lace beaded number~~~
So, the bags are for when I cross 180 (and not just one day, but stay there for a spell to show a real loss). And the dress is in a smaller size (or two smaller sizes, as this designer, I hear, runs small) for the CHRISTMAS DRESS COUNTDOWN CHALLENGE, which kicks off Sunday. None too soon for this bloaty, sleep-deprived girl.
NOTE: If you were considering that challenge, today is the last day I take requests for it. We've got 30 folks on the roll, and that should be the kick-off number unless some decide not to do it between now and Sunday. So, just a heads up. The rules are on the challenge blog (see previous linky).
Hmm...I just touched my chin and now have sticky fingers. I put healing Manuka honey on my chin where a zit is healing. One zit. ONE. My face has been so good since I gave up wheat/gluten, and suddenly, I get one big one on the chin...after I eat Mexican beans (more than a week ago). I wonder if there is a connection? Anyway, off to wash off the honey from my fingers (not my chin, though, hah).
On a total other topic: Anyone else trying to visit Katie J Is On Her Way blog and getting a warning of "unsafe site"? I keep getting that, so I'm afraid to go there. Hope Katie sees this, cause I don't know if she knows, and I don't know what it means. If you have her email, maybe email her and let her know? THANKs.
I hope everyone is feeling good out there. For my fellow CDCC challengers, let's get the prep work done and be ready for that official FIRST post on 9/11/11, with all the stats and goals. And yes, that first weigh-in.
Blessings on everyone... be well....
I'm hating the hurricane season weather messing with my walks. Being unusually sedentary this week (barring Tuesday's Pilates, and the scheduled session tomorrow) is making me a bit...droopy? I feel the difference in my body. I'm just not feeling as over-the-top energized. I felt great Tuesday after Pilates, and kept my workout clothes on to walk when the sun went lower, but the weather didn't let me. Sucks. I miss my walks. I wish hubby made it home in time to join me, cause I don't like the unusual uptick in male attention. It's kinda complimentary. It's also a little creepy. I mean, Starbucks, Publix, corner store, etc, I'm just having all sorts of guys, old and young, hot and not-so-hot start up conversations and look a little too interested.
I'm old and fat. What is it? My sweat give off sex pheromones or something lately?
Anyway, hubby keeps complimenting me and was expecially complimentary when I wore SHORT SHORTS (oh, yes, I did) to the family gathering for the holiday. I kiddie pooled it with the kids, and then we went to get some produce, me still in my Hard Rock cafe tee and super-short shorts. I was, like, um, honey, aren't these too short for the public? No, you're just too hot.
Well ,it's nice to be married to a guy still besotted with his droopy-skinned, saggy-cheeked wife. :) Love is nice. Guy at the deli asked hubby how we met, how long together, and it was obvious we got along lovingly. :D Well, me grabbing him and hugging him and nuzzling his neck while waiting for our low sodium ham might have been a clue.
Blood glucose: Since my A1c improved, my prediabetes resolved, and I finally got into the 80s blood sugar wise, as of June, I got a monitor recently to test at home how some meals affect me. Used it for the first time today, my Bayer Contour. I also got an Accu-check to use later on and compare to see if there was consistency.
First off: hate pricking my finger. Had to say that I commisserate with diabetic folks who have to do this A LOT. It's not that bad, but I only did it three times. (First time, the strip didn't take, the next two were fine.)
I had coffee with sucralose and no food right after I got up. Was supposed to get dressed to take sis out to birthday lunch. She's sick. So, I was home and up and figured, hey, why not? I don't know if coffee/sucralose would have any effect, but decided to do it.
Pre-meal glucose: 81
I ate a meal that was carby for me, my usual eggs/veggie/fruit, but ate a fruit and nut bar with an additional 20 carbs and also increased my fat intake due to the macadamias. My total carb count for breakfast was 52. That's more than I like, but I am testing my reaction.
I waited an hour.
Post-meal glucose: 88
Now, I know Dr. Davis says we can't know our glucose curve for particular meals unless we test eery 15 minutes over at least 2 hours, maybe even 3. But to hell with that many finger-pricks!
Still, for a gal who was prediabetic, heading for Type II, and whose glucose got as high as 123 (at highest weight) and was staying in the high nineties for most of the time in recent years, that made me happy. A carby meal and I didn't go one-hour postprandial nuts.
The glucose experiment will continue. Not sure what kind of meal I want to test next, but I do want to do TYPICAL meals...stuff I normally eat at home, to see how I respond.
On the motivation front, a couple things:
1. My Vera Bradley "Versailles" tote and saddle bag arrived today.
I'd LOVE to use them right now, but these were to be my reward to breaking down the 180s barrier. I had gotten to 181...I am now 183.6. No, I did not binge. No, I'm not scarfing down wickednesses. I am undersleeping and eating a lot of salty stuff and I'm paying the price. Good thing the challenge starts Sunday, as that will make me wean off too much cheesy and olivey yumminess in salads and eggs and motivate me to get to bed EARLIER. I always mess up my losing mojo when I cut back on sleep. If I have to do stuff with family, I always have to get up way before my normal arising time. This week has had 3 days of undersleeping, and only 1 day of nice, full sleep. I cannot let this continue. Not health-promoting, not weight-loss promoting.
2. My dress for the challenge has been ordered.
I didn't find a red one yet, but I wanted something tangible here for motivation, so I ordered a black lace number that caught my eye. It had what I wanted: form-fitting, but not immodest; some sleeves, cause my hangy/crinkly upper arm skin is not festive; knee length or thereabouts; cut so I could wear a supportive bra or shapewear.
This one seemed good, a Marina black lace beaded number~~~
So, the bags are for when I cross 180 (and not just one day, but stay there for a spell to show a real loss). And the dress is in a smaller size (or two smaller sizes, as this designer, I hear, runs small) for the CHRISTMAS DRESS COUNTDOWN CHALLENGE, which kicks off Sunday. None too soon for this bloaty, sleep-deprived girl.
NOTE: If you were considering that challenge, today is the last day I take requests for it. We've got 30 folks on the roll, and that should be the kick-off number unless some decide not to do it between now and Sunday. So, just a heads up. The rules are on the challenge blog (see previous linky).
Hmm...I just touched my chin and now have sticky fingers. I put healing Manuka honey on my chin where a zit is healing. One zit. ONE. My face has been so good since I gave up wheat/gluten, and suddenly, I get one big one on the chin...after I eat Mexican beans (more than a week ago). I wonder if there is a connection? Anyway, off to wash off the honey from my fingers (not my chin, though, hah).
On a total other topic: Anyone else trying to visit Katie J Is On Her Way blog and getting a warning of "unsafe site"? I keep getting that, so I'm afraid to go there. Hope Katie sees this, cause I don't know if she knows, and I don't know what it means. If you have her email, maybe email her and let her know? THANKs.
I hope everyone is feeling good out there. For my fellow CDCC challengers, let's get the prep work done and be ready for that official FIRST post on 9/11/11, with all the stats and goals. And yes, that first weigh-in.
Blessings on everyone... be well....
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Struggling, but My Attitude Sucketh NOT in a week of Roller-Coastering Mood ; )..plus day out with sisters and totally resisted the killer fried food and dessert barrage...but it's asthma-season for me...EASY LUNCHBOXES and planning what you eat..and has anyone tried PURE WRAPS?
I am on increased meds, so excuse the rambliness of major proportions, should it show up. :)
This was an emotional week. A few reasons:
1. Since the weekend, the asthma/allergies have started getting worse. August is a notorious month for me (September, too). A month that often saw me in the emergency room in the past (before I became better controlled with a battery of Rx's), often saw me with bad sinusitis, bronchitis, nosebleeds, visits to docs, steroids,e tc. So, doing Pilates this week has been hard. I've even teared up today in frustration at not being able to breathe deeply or control my breathing. My walks have been at a slower pace (no sprinting or superwalking), because my respiration can't keep up. But I'm trying to stay active.
2, Sunday, the family (sans eldest sis who was visiting with ill relatives and friends) got together. Mood up. Tuesday was the first month marking of my nephew's death. Mood way down. Yesterday was the 13th anniversary of my father's death. Sad. But my sisters and I, and my niece (the one whose brother just died) and grandniece (her papa is the one who died) got together to put flowers at the cemetery and have lunch and talk. This was good. But there were some teary moments. And today is my big brother's (well, the youngest of the 3 big brothers) birthday. Glad he's alive and well (though he's asthmatic/allergic-sufferer, too, so we congest together). Up and down and up and down.
3. Appetite has been higher, no longer superzen. This is a combo of the stress from the breathing, the mood shifts, and who knows, maybe the extra fruits I'd been having since last week. Scale is still higher than my lowest weigh-in, and the lack of adequate sleep is making things worse. Oh, yeah, that does make me hungry, forgot that. Not sleeping. (This is partly the meds, partly the trying to shift to earlier hours.) It will sort out, but it means it's tough to portion meals and it's a struggle.
On the plus side:
~I'm still trying to move at a good level against the breathing odds. Makes me feel...powerful...to not give in. :D
~I'm not focusing constantly on the stressful negatives, but actively focusing on what's good and making "thanksgiving breaks" during the day when I focus on and thank God for the great stuff in my life. I am blessed in so many ways.
~While we ate out yesterday--at Ruby Tuesday's--I had salad bar (1 and a half plates of all the non-starchy veggies plus some egg and a couple tablespoons of the chopped ham for protein. Drank my water, decaf, iced tea. Kin had a fried/butter-drenched extravaganza. And when everyone else had the chocolate lava cake with ice cream and tiramisu, right in FRONT OF MY FACE, I didn't touch a single crumb/spoonful. I just sipped my coffee and averted my eyes when tiramisu flew around. ; )
~Been really tired, tired, tired in the evenings (lack of sleep, adrenal exertions from the meds increase), but still am fixing hubby his three bento boxes' worth of healthy lunches before I go to bed and making sure he has his breakfast stuff--which sometimes means scrambling his eggs ahead of time so he can nuke em warm, or making gluten-free hotcakes (he can have starch, since he's a metabolic burner!) with no-sugar homemade fruit compote, etc. He and I really love the EASY LUNCHBOXES system I got him last week and we started using this week. It's a positive, cause I'm keeping up with NOT caving to crap, even when exhausted. I force myself to the grocery store; I make myself make the lunches. I make sure we have produce galore. Big plus. Big lifestyle change from the gal who just would call for delivery crap when tired.
As far as the EASY LUNCHBOXES: a dream for us. Three boxes fit in the bag, and it zips and is easy to carry. Works great. He gets two meals and one box full of snacks (nuts, Larabar, hummus with carrot sticks, cheese n apple slices, etc.
I won a set from Katie J's blog (thanks, Katie!) and that should arrive soon. This way, we'll each have our own bento system, which is lovely, as when we have to take food for BOTH OF US to avoid temptations when out and about, that will simplify matters. And they have a great page with pics of REAL lunches and ideas. They do need more low-carb, Paleo, Primal, Gluten Free example pics! Maybe I'll snap one these days of hubby's threesome. ; )
No BPA. And though the lids are made for kids to be easy pop open (not Tupperware supertight), I just use rubber bands to secure stuff that might spill and use Press n Seal for when I use cottage cheese/yogurt/mooshy-smooshy-semi-solid--oozey stuff.
I have the bags in olive and aqua, and won a system with a dark red bag. The newest color is the pink, I think, and young girls, as we know, loveth the pink. With my three bags and 8 containers--and they have nice colorful lids--I'm REALLY set. I fill them at night, put the whole bag in the fridge, and hubby just has to grab 'n go in the AM when he's ready to head out for the office. Then he puts the whole bag in the fridge at work. :D EASY!
It's a great TOOL to make sure you think about what to eat and plan for balanced, healthful, non-crap meals. If you're a dieter who works, really, get some sort of brown-bagging or bento system. Makes things easier. And making stuff is as simple as cooking extra at dinner (or lunch or breakfast) and saving it for the next day. And some things I pack are so easy and don't require cooking for hubby: nuts, fruit, cottage cheese, salads with deli meat, etc. If you like yogurt, you can make a whole great snack in one bento, make your main lunch food in another, and not have to give in to office-crap temptations.
Speaking of stuff that makes lunches easier: Anyone try those gluten-free, no soy or assorted weird stuff alternate to regular sandwich wraps, PURE WRAPS? If you have, review it or link me up to your review of it. And where did ya get it? Thanks.
Anyway, if the weather is benevolent--and August/September in Miami is not the most benevolent of times for exercisers being outdoors--I will have my walk and that will make for almost 1.5 hours of exercise for the day. I may not be able to go all-out while I have congestion issues, but I can do something. And so can you!
I wish all my fellow fatfighters well today. If you're struggling like me to get back down the scale and find your full-behemoth mojo again, let's egg each other on. No quitting. Ever!
later, lovelies...
This was an emotional week. A few reasons:
1. Since the weekend, the asthma/allergies have started getting worse. August is a notorious month for me (September, too). A month that often saw me in the emergency room in the past (before I became better controlled with a battery of Rx's), often saw me with bad sinusitis, bronchitis, nosebleeds, visits to docs, steroids,e tc. So, doing Pilates this week has been hard. I've even teared up today in frustration at not being able to breathe deeply or control my breathing. My walks have been at a slower pace (no sprinting or superwalking), because my respiration can't keep up. But I'm trying to stay active.
2, Sunday, the family (sans eldest sis who was visiting with ill relatives and friends) got together. Mood up. Tuesday was the first month marking of my nephew's death. Mood way down. Yesterday was the 13th anniversary of my father's death. Sad. But my sisters and I, and my niece (the one whose brother just died) and grandniece (her papa is the one who died) got together to put flowers at the cemetery and have lunch and talk. This was good. But there were some teary moments. And today is my big brother's (well, the youngest of the 3 big brothers) birthday. Glad he's alive and well (though he's asthmatic/allergic-sufferer, too, so we congest together). Up and down and up and down.
3. Appetite has been higher, no longer superzen. This is a combo of the stress from the breathing, the mood shifts, and who knows, maybe the extra fruits I'd been having since last week. Scale is still higher than my lowest weigh-in, and the lack of adequate sleep is making things worse. Oh, yeah, that does make me hungry, forgot that. Not sleeping. (This is partly the meds, partly the trying to shift to earlier hours.) It will sort out, but it means it's tough to portion meals and it's a struggle.
On the plus side:
~I'm still trying to move at a good level against the breathing odds. Makes me feel...powerful...to not give in. :D
~I'm not focusing constantly on the stressful negatives, but actively focusing on what's good and making "thanksgiving breaks" during the day when I focus on and thank God for the great stuff in my life. I am blessed in so many ways.
~While we ate out yesterday--at Ruby Tuesday's--I had salad bar (1 and a half plates of all the non-starchy veggies plus some egg and a couple tablespoons of the chopped ham for protein. Drank my water, decaf, iced tea. Kin had a fried/butter-drenched extravaganza. And when everyone else had the chocolate lava cake with ice cream and tiramisu, right in FRONT OF MY FACE, I didn't touch a single crumb/spoonful. I just sipped my coffee and averted my eyes when tiramisu flew around. ; )
~Been really tired, tired, tired in the evenings (lack of sleep, adrenal exertions from the meds increase), but still am fixing hubby his three bento boxes' worth of healthy lunches before I go to bed and making sure he has his breakfast stuff--which sometimes means scrambling his eggs ahead of time so he can nuke em warm, or making gluten-free hotcakes (he can have starch, since he's a metabolic burner!) with no-sugar homemade fruit compote, etc. He and I really love the EASY LUNCHBOXES system I got him last week and we started using this week. It's a positive, cause I'm keeping up with NOT caving to crap, even when exhausted. I force myself to the grocery store; I make myself make the lunches. I make sure we have produce galore. Big plus. Big lifestyle change from the gal who just would call for delivery crap when tired.
As far as the EASY LUNCHBOXES: a dream for us. Three boxes fit in the bag, and it zips and is easy to carry. Works great. He gets two meals and one box full of snacks (nuts, Larabar, hummus with carrot sticks, cheese n apple slices, etc.
I won a set from Katie J's blog (thanks, Katie!) and that should arrive soon. This way, we'll each have our own bento system, which is lovely, as when we have to take food for BOTH OF US to avoid temptations when out and about, that will simplify matters. And they have a great page with pics of REAL lunches and ideas. They do need more low-carb, Paleo, Primal, Gluten Free example pics! Maybe I'll snap one these days of hubby's threesome. ; )
No BPA. And though the lids are made for kids to be easy pop open (not Tupperware supertight), I just use rubber bands to secure stuff that might spill and use Press n Seal for when I use cottage cheese/yogurt/mooshy-smooshy-semi-solid--oozey stuff.
I have the bags in olive and aqua, and won a system with a dark red bag. The newest color is the pink, I think, and young girls, as we know, loveth the pink. With my three bags and 8 containers--and they have nice colorful lids--I'm REALLY set. I fill them at night, put the whole bag in the fridge, and hubby just has to grab 'n go in the AM when he's ready to head out for the office. Then he puts the whole bag in the fridge at work. :D EASY!
It's a great TOOL to make sure you think about what to eat and plan for balanced, healthful, non-crap meals. If you're a dieter who works, really, get some sort of brown-bagging or bento system. Makes things easier. And making stuff is as simple as cooking extra at dinner (or lunch or breakfast) and saving it for the next day. And some things I pack are so easy and don't require cooking for hubby: nuts, fruit, cottage cheese, salads with deli meat, etc. If you like yogurt, you can make a whole great snack in one bento, make your main lunch food in another, and not have to give in to office-crap temptations.
Speaking of stuff that makes lunches easier: Anyone try those gluten-free, no soy or assorted weird stuff alternate to regular sandwich wraps, PURE WRAPS? If you have, review it or link me up to your review of it. And where did ya get it? Thanks.
Anyway, if the weather is benevolent--and August/September in Miami is not the most benevolent of times for exercisers being outdoors--I will have my walk and that will make for almost 1.5 hours of exercise for the day. I may not be able to go all-out while I have congestion issues, but I can do something. And so can you!
I wish all my fellow fatfighters well today. If you're struggling like me to get back down the scale and find your full-behemoth mojo again, let's egg each other on. No quitting. Ever!
later, lovelies...
Monday, June 27, 2011
Day 22 of 84 in the StSC: Week Recap--and it wasn't a perfect one--with Challenge Weigh-in, Assorted Blather...and Mango Love!
Okay, so I had a busy weekend, and part of that busy-ness meant I really slacked on my strategies.
Yesterday, Tanita-San said: 189.8
That makes a change of -1.4 lbs off for the week.
However, yesterday was hubby's birthday party, and while I had no candy, cake, or assorted junk food, I had too much cheese and too much fruit--yeah, for someone like me who needs to monitor carbs, there is such a thing as too much fruit--and half a cup of homemade lower-cal potato salad and no-sugar, no-gluten, low-carb cookies. I was very moderate with my meat and condiments. But, well, there ya go. I done not so great.
Yeah, I overdid it. The scale is the proof. Today: 191.8 . That's 2 lbs up of carb and salt bloat. I will have to battle this back this week if I intend to make progress for next weigh-in. Pain in the keister. Geesh.
My goals and how I did this past week:
Weight: I was on target for the week with the loss, but not for the challenge. I should be 6 pounds down as of Sunday, and I'm only 5.2 as of Sunday. So, after this bloat is gone and I see if there is any lingering damage, I have to play CATCH UP!
Calories: I went to the max of 1400 several days and went over 2 days (yes, the weekend). One day was 2000 cals. Holy smokes! Well, I've had a great eating streak, and I was bound to eff up. Here it is. I effed up. And I don't plan to do it again as of today. Yes, I tracked calories. I do it automatically in my head if I don't do it online or in a notebook. So, some days I did it online, some jotted down, some in my head (if I'm out of the house a lot). It's just a habit now. I count. Always. Even if I can't perfectly measure. Like Debbi, I'll round UP if in doubt about the actual portion weight/size.
Exercise: Not this past week. I only strength-trained ONE day (instead of goal of 2x). I did meet half of my goal of trying 2 new exercises The kiddie pool exercise. hah. No work on push-ups due to knee still healing (bruises are faded, but knee still is unstable.) I had to curtail walking due to knee issue, and then this weekend, stormy weather kept me inside, but I was able to resume. Glad for that. Hopeful to be able to walk normally this week.
Fluids: About the only perfect thing this week.
Prayer: I missed a couple days. I know, how could I? Sorry.
Encouragement: Yes, I encouraged some challengers. All, no.
Today is the "Mind back in the game" day. Today is the last "milestone" June day for hubby and me. The 29th anniversary of the day we first said "I love you" to one another. It's a day I hold very dear and have very sweet memories of. No celebrating out of the house, but, well, a good day to get back on course, as it's a day about love. And love of health and self should play its part.
I had my coffee, tea, more than half my water, had my spice-rubbed grilled chicken with organic mixed lettuce salad, 1/4 cup of guacamole, 1/2 a tomato, and my blackberry/strawberry dessert is waiting. Dinner is already made--a beef stew with carrots and onions and taters. Taters are mostly for hubby (who needs to keep weight on). I'll have mine with some mushrooms and cauliflower on the side (unless it's no longer yummy, gotta see if it's still fresh). Otherwise it'll be zucchini. I just got some today. :D
I will likely have papaya and mango for my fruit with dinner. Brother's mango tree was just full of the things, and I brought 9 mangoes home to use this week. My fave fruit. Since childhood. I'd get so happy eating those in my panties, sitting on newspaper (to keep me from staining my clothes). Sucking away on the huge pit. Man, I loved me my mangoes. Very high in sugars, but, hey, I ain't eating bread/pasta/etc, so I'm having my beautiful tropical treat and feeling all of 9 years old again. Um, not naked or on newspapers, but still full of joy. Fruit joy. I can't give it up. :D
Happy new challenge week. My prayers and best wishes for health and success are sent to all my fellow-fatfighters. Off we go....
Yesterday, Tanita-San said: 189.8
That makes a change of -1.4 lbs off for the week.
However, yesterday was hubby's birthday party, and while I had no candy, cake, or assorted junk food, I had too much cheese and too much fruit--yeah, for someone like me who needs to monitor carbs, there is such a thing as too much fruit--and half a cup of homemade lower-cal potato salad and no-sugar, no-gluten, low-carb cookies. I was very moderate with my meat and condiments. But, well, there ya go. I done not so great.
Yeah, I overdid it. The scale is the proof. Today: 191.8 . That's 2 lbs up of carb and salt bloat. I will have to battle this back this week if I intend to make progress for next weigh-in. Pain in the keister. Geesh.
My goals and how I did this past week:
Weight: I was on target for the week with the loss, but not for the challenge. I should be 6 pounds down as of Sunday, and I'm only 5.2 as of Sunday. So, after this bloat is gone and I see if there is any lingering damage, I have to play CATCH UP!
Calories: I went to the max of 1400 several days and went over 2 days (yes, the weekend). One day was 2000 cals. Holy smokes! Well, I've had a great eating streak, and I was bound to eff up. Here it is. I effed up. And I don't plan to do it again as of today. Yes, I tracked calories. I do it automatically in my head if I don't do it online or in a notebook. So, some days I did it online, some jotted down, some in my head (if I'm out of the house a lot). It's just a habit now. I count. Always. Even if I can't perfectly measure. Like Debbi, I'll round UP if in doubt about the actual portion weight/size.
Exercise: Not this past week. I only strength-trained ONE day (instead of goal of 2x). I did meet half of my goal of trying 2 new exercises The kiddie pool exercise. hah. No work on push-ups due to knee still healing (bruises are faded, but knee still is unstable.) I had to curtail walking due to knee issue, and then this weekend, stormy weather kept me inside, but I was able to resume. Glad for that. Hopeful to be able to walk normally this week.
Fluids: About the only perfect thing this week.
Prayer: I missed a couple days. I know, how could I? Sorry.
Encouragement: Yes, I encouraged some challengers. All, no.
Today is the "Mind back in the game" day. Today is the last "milestone" June day for hubby and me. The 29th anniversary of the day we first said "I love you" to one another. It's a day I hold very dear and have very sweet memories of. No celebrating out of the house, but, well, a good day to get back on course, as it's a day about love. And love of health and self should play its part.
I had my coffee, tea, more than half my water, had my spice-rubbed grilled chicken with organic mixed lettuce salad, 1/4 cup of guacamole, 1/2 a tomato, and my blackberry/strawberry dessert is waiting. Dinner is already made--a beef stew with carrots and onions and taters. Taters are mostly for hubby (who needs to keep weight on). I'll have mine with some mushrooms and cauliflower on the side (unless it's no longer yummy, gotta see if it's still fresh). Otherwise it'll be zucchini. I just got some today. :D
I will likely have papaya and mango for my fruit with dinner. Brother's mango tree was just full of the things, and I brought 9 mangoes home to use this week. My fave fruit. Since childhood. I'd get so happy eating those in my panties, sitting on newspaper (to keep me from staining my clothes). Sucking away on the huge pit. Man, I loved me my mangoes. Very high in sugars, but, hey, I ain't eating bread/pasta/etc, so I'm having my beautiful tropical treat and feeling all of 9 years old again. Um, not naked or on newspapers, but still full of joy. Fruit joy. I can't give it up. :D
Happy new challenge week. My prayers and best wishes for health and success are sent to all my fellow-fatfighters. Off we go....
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Day 11 of 84 in the StSC: Trying not to get bummed, and what inspires me to keep going...
Scale is almost at a standstill, as I myself have been pretty much at a standstill...or is that a sit-still or lie-still? The knee is better, but still feels unstable...like sometimes I'm walking and it feels...loose, like it'll give a bit. Still aches a bit. But much improved.
Lying around/sitting around has not improved either my appetite or the scale progress. So frustrating: 193.2 Only a half pound in all these days.My appetite increase is likely due to a sort of mental association reversion thing: "Oh, are we back to the sitting/lying around like an anemic slug days again? Whoopee. Let's have some fried cheese! Or a bacon-cheeseburger deluxe, followed by chocolate cake!"
Yeah, something about just being inactive has put me in some weird "I wanna eat to comfort myself" zone. And it affects my mood.
Sucks. But I'm fighting it. I've had closer to 1400 calories (1385 yesterday) and still had to fight off the eat more urges. I suppose this is something to get used to and learn to handle, since it will happen from time to time. I will have injuries/disease. I will have inactive days/weeks, perhaps (Lord, forbid) months. At 51, the fall made me reassess my fragility (I do worry about these wonky knees of mine and the arthritis). I think it's the whole, "I"m old, getting older, am scared" thing that affected my mood. Well, and not having my walking endorphins. :-/
But I ain't giving up. I will fight past the inactivity setback and mood dip and will emerge with my fighting spirit on fire.
Not giving up. Part of this challenge is to keep going, and that's for life. Keep going for health for life....
Thank God for support. Hubby has been affectionate and attentive and it keeps me from getting too bummed out. I was cheered last night viewing some of his pro pics. (I got him a deal for professional photos, since he does classes/conferences and has his second edition of his book coming out, for resumes, etc, I wanted GOOD pics in assorted poses, for various users. For his gamer mode, author mode, engineer mode, Frisbee-er mode, business mode, manly mode, and just some fun ones for me to drool over.)
Here's one where I like his expression a lot, cause his intelligence and sweetness both shine in it:
And this is his new suit (bought last week, cause he's dropped oodles of pounds and old suits don't fit). I insisted on sexy, basic, quality BLACK. Nothing professionally sexier on a man than a BLACK basic suit (lower rez, cause I couldn't get them to FLIP on blogger. Anyone know how to flip photos on blogger?):
And here is a smiley gamer hubby:
Anyway, fluids good, prayer good. Exercise and encouragement, not so much. Sorry.
Today, I'm going to Pilates and I suppose we'll work around the knee. Maybe upper body stuff.
Later, peops! Fight the good fatfight!
UPDATE: Got back from Pilates. Am eating my satay chicken, salad, fruit and French press Sumatra java. Yum. Knee is aching and throbbing. We had to stick to upper body and reposition me so the knee wasn't strained. It was tough. I had some dizzy spells. Trainer says stay off, no walking, and if in a week it's still unstable and hurting, must see ortho. Um, yeah, figured that one out.
On to the goals, no matter what....!
Lying around/sitting around has not improved either my appetite or the scale progress. So frustrating: 193.2 Only a half pound in all these days.My appetite increase is likely due to a sort of mental association reversion thing: "Oh, are we back to the sitting/lying around like an anemic slug days again? Whoopee. Let's have some fried cheese! Or a bacon-cheeseburger deluxe, followed by chocolate cake!"
Yeah, something about just being inactive has put me in some weird "I wanna eat to comfort myself" zone. And it affects my mood.
Sucks. But I'm fighting it. I've had closer to 1400 calories (1385 yesterday) and still had to fight off the eat more urges. I suppose this is something to get used to and learn to handle, since it will happen from time to time. I will have injuries/disease. I will have inactive days/weeks, perhaps (Lord, forbid) months. At 51, the fall made me reassess my fragility (I do worry about these wonky knees of mine and the arthritis). I think it's the whole, "I"m old, getting older, am scared" thing that affected my mood. Well, and not having my walking endorphins. :-/
But I ain't giving up. I will fight past the inactivity setback and mood dip and will emerge with my fighting spirit on fire.
Not giving up. Part of this challenge is to keep going, and that's for life. Keep going for health for life....
Thank God for support. Hubby has been affectionate and attentive and it keeps me from getting too bummed out. I was cheered last night viewing some of his pro pics. (I got him a deal for professional photos, since he does classes/conferences and has his second edition of his book coming out, for resumes, etc, I wanted GOOD pics in assorted poses, for various users. For his gamer mode, author mode, engineer mode, Frisbee-er mode, business mode, manly mode, and just some fun ones for me to drool over.)
Here's one where I like his expression a lot, cause his intelligence and sweetness both shine in it:
 |
| mmmmmmmmmmmm,.so hot.... |
And here is a smiley gamer hubby:
Anyway, fluids good, prayer good. Exercise and encouragement, not so much. Sorry.
Today, I'm going to Pilates and I suppose we'll work around the knee. Maybe upper body stuff.
Later, peops! Fight the good fatfight!
UPDATE: Got back from Pilates. Am eating my satay chicken, salad, fruit and French press Sumatra java. Yum. Knee is aching and throbbing. We had to stick to upper body and reposition me so the knee wasn't strained. It was tough. I had some dizzy spells. Trainer says stay off, no walking, and if in a week it's still unstable and hurting, must see ortho. Um, yeah, figured that one out.
On to the goals, no matter what....!
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Wanna join me for Slimmer This Summer Prayer Challenge? Another downtick...and ready for the milestone month...and a thanks for the kind words re my "swimsuit shoot" and thanks, too, for another "stylish" nod.... ; )
Tanita-san: 195.2
Yay. Halfway through this "decade" (well, nearly).
I am eating great. This helps as I haven't gotten as much exercise as I'm used to this week due to family/holiday stuff, appointments/errands/running around in this heat making me NOT wanna sweat some more. Ah, excuses. Did walk Monday. Didn't walk or exercise yesterday. Will get hubby to come Playwalk with me if he gets home on time. Have Pilates tomorrow.
I will get my groove back. :)
And need to up the groove for the Slimmer This Summer Challenge which starts June 6 (ie, next Monday). If you've joined: Welcome. Let's be very kid and supportive to one another. Feel free to kick me in the butt in comments if I slack, but kick me with nice furry slippers on your commenting feet. K? I love being spurred on, and I don't mind well-meaning hollers, just BE WELL-MEANING. :)
I was having an email exchange with a lovely fatfighting blogger, and I explained that I liked having a variety of encouragers, encouragers from both sides. I like the ones that call me when I flake or slack and tell me to get my butt in gear and stop effing around. And I like the ones that "cyber" hug and say the words that let me know I'm not a worthless bit of cosmic flotsam. I like the ones in-between, too, who can balance the tough with the gooey. I think of myself as the middle one. I can holler at ya. I can lecture ya. AND...I can give you support and uplift. (Like a good bra!)
Because I'm a Christian gal, I also pray for people. Since Debbi and I jointly decided to host this challenge, I figure I'll mention I plan to pray for y'all to succeed. EVERY DAY.
If you are one of the challengers and a praying person, please do this, too. I literally am begging you. Please. Every day, when you have your prayer time, pray for the StS challengers to find the inner strength to meet goals, have epiphanies, grow in energy, eat well, move well...be well...
Let's agree in prayer to hold each other up, k?
Note for those who didn't know: Debbi is the ubermistress for the challenge who's gonna do the linkies and whatnot, which follows my lifelong pattern of saying "no" whenever clubs/groups nominated me to be the chief/president/etc and choosing to serve as vice-president/secretary/assistant from High School on through college, cause being President seemed a PITA when I just wanted to find a nice shady spot and read a good story....
June is here. In a couple days, I celebrate the 29th anniversary of the first time I met hubby. A couple days after that, the anniversary of our first date. Then...well, you catch my drift. June 11: Our 28th wedding anniversary. Hubby's birthday in latter part of month.
I am gonna look really nice on our anniversary. Well, I hope. I have a pretty dress with 3/4 sleeves that looks great with my peep-toe pumps I bought recently. I'll have either deep red or hot pink toes (not sure which yet) and I'll be thanking God profusely (as usual) for the gift of my Toots. The man is a walking, breathing, smiling Wonder of the World, and it still makes me weep with joy to think he chose ME. :D
Okay, I'm done. Except to say thank you, thank you very much, for celebrating the swimsuit milestone with me. It's so nice to get the warm fuzz attack in comment after comment. You guys rule! I mean, I even got me Tetsuji Tamayama photoshopped yumminess. (Yes, those who read this blog already know he's like one of my major celebrity hotties....what a gorgeous man.)
(And if you did go and take a pic of you in your summer swimsuit, please send it to Swimming It Off blog. She's gonna do Swimsuit Sunday next Sunday. Help her have a swimsuit bonanza of zaftig gals in their suits/swimdresses/tankinis/bikinis/etc.)
And though I'd already received the award, I want to thank Sarah, again, for thinking of me for the Stylish Blogger award. It's always cheering when I come to other bloggers' minds for that sort of honor. People sometimes suck, but as my comments show, people can also be unbelievably WONDERFUL.
Please love yourself today with good food, good movement, good fluids, good rest, and as much good friendship and love as you can cram into your day....
Later...
Yay. Halfway through this "decade" (well, nearly).
I am eating great. This helps as I haven't gotten as much exercise as I'm used to this week due to family/holiday stuff, appointments/errands/running around in this heat making me NOT wanna sweat some more. Ah, excuses. Did walk Monday. Didn't walk or exercise yesterday. Will get hubby to come Playwalk with me if he gets home on time. Have Pilates tomorrow.
I will get my groove back. :)
I was having an email exchange with a lovely fatfighting blogger, and I explained that I liked having a variety of encouragers, encouragers from both sides. I like the ones that call me when I flake or slack and tell me to get my butt in gear and stop effing around. And I like the ones that "cyber" hug and say the words that let me know I'm not a worthless bit of cosmic flotsam. I like the ones in-between, too, who can balance the tough with the gooey. I think of myself as the middle one. I can holler at ya. I can lecture ya. AND...I can give you support and uplift. (Like a good bra!)
Because I'm a Christian gal, I also pray for people. Since Debbi and I jointly decided to host this challenge, I figure I'll mention I plan to pray for y'all to succeed. EVERY DAY.
If you are one of the challengers and a praying person, please do this, too. I literally am begging you. Please. Every day, when you have your prayer time, pray for the StS challengers to find the inner strength to meet goals, have epiphanies, grow in energy, eat well, move well...be well...
Let's agree in prayer to hold each other up, k?
Note for those who didn't know: Debbi is the ubermistress for the challenge who's gonna do the linkies and whatnot, which follows my lifelong pattern of saying "no" whenever clubs/groups nominated me to be the chief/president/etc and choosing to serve as vice-president/secretary/assistant from High School on through college, cause being President seemed a PITA when I just wanted to find a nice shady spot and read a good story....
June is here. In a couple days, I celebrate the 29th anniversary of the first time I met hubby. A couple days after that, the anniversary of our first date. Then...well, you catch my drift. June 11: Our 28th wedding anniversary. Hubby's birthday in latter part of month.
I am gonna look really nice on our anniversary. Well, I hope. I have a pretty dress with 3/4 sleeves that looks great with my peep-toe pumps I bought recently. I'll have either deep red or hot pink toes (not sure which yet) and I'll be thanking God profusely (as usual) for the gift of my Toots. The man is a walking, breathing, smiling Wonder of the World, and it still makes me weep with joy to think he chose ME. :D
Okay, I'm done. Except to say thank you, thank you very much, for celebrating the swimsuit milestone with me. It's so nice to get the warm fuzz attack in comment after comment. You guys rule! I mean, I even got me Tetsuji Tamayama photoshopped yumminess. (Yes, those who read this blog already know he's like one of my major celebrity hotties....what a gorgeous man.)
(And if you did go and take a pic of you in your summer swimsuit, please send it to Swimming It Off blog. She's gonna do Swimsuit Sunday next Sunday. Help her have a swimsuit bonanza of zaftig gals in their suits/swimdresses/tankinis/bikinis/etc.)
And though I'd already received the award, I want to thank Sarah, again, for thinking of me for the Stylish Blogger award. It's always cheering when I come to other bloggers' minds for that sort of honor. People sometimes suck, but as my comments show, people can also be unbelievably WONDERFUL.
Please love yourself today with good food, good movement, good fluids, good rest, and as much good friendship and love as you can cram into your day....
Later...
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