Note: Thanks to those who chimed in with suggestions in my previous post regarding the devotional project. I appreciate it. :D Please feel free to add more suggestions. On to our regularly scheduled post...
Sunday is my normal weigh-in day for this blog (or Saturday or Monday when I forget). And it's Sunday, the 6th. Three Kings Day. Dia de Los Reyes. The Feast of the Epiphany. It's the 12th Day of Christmas, as well. With this, Christmas is officially over and the trees can come down.
But we'll get to that later. First, the weigh-in:
180.4
The right direction. It was 183.2 New Year's Day.
So close to my goal decade.
Interestingly, when I went to log the weight on my sidebar weight journal (see left sidebar), I wrote in "God" instead of "Goal" when I added the note about 2013: "End Goal for Year = 170 lbs" I had first typed: "End God for the Year."
That slip of the brain made me think about how some of us make weight, our bodies, our "look" and size--we make those our God. Our diet becomes our God. It consumes us and defines us and we create an idol. It reminded me to keep this in perspective. It's something that requries attention, energy, study, work. But it should never become my idol. I've seen more than a few bloggers who turn food and exercise into their idol--that's what creates and directs them in such an obssessive way that it's a bit worrisome.
And in the other extreme, there's those times we and other folks don't give a damn about what we/they eat, don't care about our health and just act immaturely or apathetically and refuse to listen to wise counsel, not our own internal wise voice or the sage words of loved ones or the helpful direction from a professional only interested in our well-being.
Both apathy and idolization about our health and food issues are sick extremes.
I just want to normalize.
I don't aim to be cut/buff/perfect. I don't aim for a size 2 or 4. Orthorexia isn't my goal. I don't want to freak if I have a deviation now and then from my plan. Only if it's a pattern, if the deviation begins to become the norm.
Normality about eating and better health from lifestyle changes--that's what I want. Not to obsess about food. Not to not care about food. Not to self-destruct. Not to idolize my body.
It may be an epiphany for you to accept that it's easy to make food a god--either worship it eating too much or thinking about it too much. Yes, you can make your body a temple or an idol--one is good, one is not.
Treating it with respect and making it work well for your life purposes: good. Valuable.
Treating it like the end-all, be-all of your self-esteem, feeding vanity along with perfect meals, feeling superior to others because you look "like this" and not "like that": not good. Bad.
I'm looking for the good path between extremes. How about you?
Anyway, on the personal front: I've had trouble bringing my calories down and getting back into the eating format/pattern/manner that I ate in my main losing phase in 2011.
This is normal.
After increasing intake, after allowing those treats and caloric foods--things like chocolate truffles, mousse made with real sugar, fried New Year's empanadillas, fried stuffed potatoes on Christmas--the body wants more of that. The brain has been brought into those old habits of pleasure and stimulation and it wants more.
What did you let yourself indulge in that made you have a hard time with appetite? Holiday pies? Fried foods? Junk drive-thru foods? Now, you will have to pay the price.
Like junkies, there's gonna be a bit of withdrawal. The brain does want the "fix."
Control is harder. There it is. I have to get through the "pulling in the reins" phase, and it's gonna be hard and hurt a bit, but I remember that the easier phase comes after. When the brain calms down, the body adjusts, the stomach shrinks, the habit of control reasserts.
It will come. If you're going through this same adjustment phase, just hold on. It will come.
Like I did in 2010 when I began, I'm gradually decreasing intake. I'm not in strongly restricted zone yet. I found for me, stages works best.
In fact, some dietitians advise slowly readjusting. Instead of slashing calories radically--say 2500 or 3000 or 4000 to 1400 or 1200 or 900--some do better just to ease off the problem foods and higher calories down to better eating and lower calories in steps. Steps. Bit by bit. Not from feast to starve, which can be jarring or lead to a binge. No, rather, it may help to go from overeating or bad eating to more normal eating, then from more normal eating to moderate caloric restriction or deficit, then consider dipping into stricter calorie-deficit dieting levels.
Granted, there are exeptions. There are folks who do great slashing away and feel totally in control right off with tiny portions.
Given the blowback of binges I see round about when some folks try to do that, I say give the 'steps system' a go. Bit by bit. Cut back, change, refine, bit by bit.
On the matter of epiphanies, revelations: One of those books that delivered an epiphany for me in 2010 and made it possible for me to get a grip on my binges (I haven't binged since May 2010) was THE END OF OVEREATING, which opened my eyes to how hyperpalatable foods can send folks into chronic overeating. Those types of foods do set me off. can literally make me go into this frantic thing where I shovel, shovel, shovel food. If I eat them again daily, consistently, that will happen again. I know it.
I don't allow that. (Or haven't yet.) The daily indulgence in the hyperpalatable.
But I have allowed intrusions more often than is healthful for ME.
During my illness and holiday weeks late in 2012, I allowed some of those hyperpalatable foods (ie, some salted olive oil potato chips, sugary treats, fried and salted foods with carbs--the triumvirate of overeating (fat with starch with sugar.) Not every day. Not every meal. But enough that it's done something to my brain and tongue and desires again.
I felt my appetite increase. I felt the monster begin to return.
How's your appetite beast? What are you doing to manage it?
For me, managing that beast involves refusing to eat hyperpalatable foods, cooking more at home, keeping tons of fresh produce in the house, drinking lots of fluids, increasing protein (even using whey between meals), and moderating carbs/starches (for me, that moderation of carbs/starches means, ideally, 80 to 120 carbs a day, and definitley no more than 150. I don't do well on VLC--my thyroid rebels--but I don't do well on higher carb/starch--my appetite wakes up like mad).
I also do better with two good-sized meals than many mini-meals. My stomach stretching some to contain fluids and food, sending those signals for satiety, that system sets me up for happy hours of non-food-thinking.
During the last two months of last year, I went back to snacking. I was sick. Often couldn't bother to get up and fix meals while hubby was at work. Didn't wanna do delivery and set myself up for some bad food mojo.
Well, snacking, yeah, that didn't work so well. It does not satisfy. Just makes me want to snack more. Doesn't matter if it was a small 140 calorie bag of olive oil tater chips or nuts and fruit or a wedge of cheese or a boiled egg. I just wanted MORE.
This month, I'm cutting back number of times eating. I want no more than two meals and one snack. That's the goal. Two meals, each 600 to 700 cals, and a snack only if appetite is out of bounds and I can keep to no more than 1500-1600 calories.
For some of you, what works to control appetite is a bit different, cause we're different. Though, in general, protein is the most satiating macronutrient. It really is.
BUT..for you, maybe it's high fiber that controls your appetite. Or fiber with lots of water. Or Several small meals. Or keeping out starches altogether. Or keeping out fruit altogether. Or eating more fat. Or having a lot of liquid protein. Or nuts between meals. Or hypnosis. Or meditation. Or prayer. Or a walk. Or singing. Or chatting on the phone with friends. Or sex. (That one actually worked really well in my faster losing phase. If I wanted to eat, I'd jump hubby. Voila. No more cravings.)
Whatever works that's not immoral or illegal--go for it. :D
Today, after worship service, we meet with family to celebrate Three King's Day (as it's commonly referred to down here), the Feast of the Epiphany, when the wise men from the east finally located the Christ Child (not baby, child) and presented homage and gifts. The Bible never mentions how many there were, but tradition counts three--Balthasar, Melchior, Caspar--to match the three gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh.
They traveled a long way. They were dedicated to the journey. When they found their goal, they surely went off rejoicing, a lot lighter in baggage and a lot lighter in heart.
It was worth following the star, being away from home, being exhausted from a long day's ride, day after day. It was worth bad weather and the threat of robbers. It was worth risking the wrath of a jealous, murderous Herod.
Because what awaited the end of that search was AMAZING. Miraculous. Life-changing. Eye-opening. Empowering. Satisfying to the soul.
If you're reading this long, long post, you're on a journey like mine, right? We each have that guiding star--look for it.
We each need to sustain ourselves, cause we might traverse some perilous places and it may take YEARS. YEARS AND YEARS. It may not be as easy or quick as you imagine. But it's going to be amazing.
You'll see great things, in yourself and in others. You'll experience epiphanies. It may not involve gold or myrrh or frankincense--or it might, as I often had my hubby anoint me with scented oil and pray over me on those hard, hard days--but it will involve finding treasures. You learn a lot about yourself when you overcome stuff
And setbacks? You just climb back on that camel, adjust your robes, and keep looking at and moving toward that star.
God bless on this feast day. Great things await the true seeker willing to move and change...
Be well...
Showing posts with label goals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label goals. Show all posts
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Scale Pic and Forming Goals for 2013, and some advice for the Big Gals (and Guys) out There New To Blogging for Weight Loss
Here is what I saw on Tanita-San today after I woke up, peed, and stumbled to the back room where I keep the scale:
I hopped on the scale a few times, which I always do to confirm the number. You can see the same number came up twice: 181.4 .
It was 183.2 yesterday (see previous post), so the excess fluid from my holiday salty foods frenzy is...flowing out.
This puts me at a total loss of 118 pounds. Not my lowest number. Still out of the obese range, yay.
I don't like being in the 180s again. Not at all. My plan last year when I decided to move into MAINTENANCE had been to maintain in the 170s. Anywhere in the 170s, but preferably in the middle to lower ranges, sure. Just THAT weight "decade."
So, immediate goal is to get back into the 170s. Healthfully. With good nutrition. No crash diets. I don't care if it's slow. I don't want to end up with micronutrient deficiencies which impact a lot of my health issues.
Ultimate goal for this season (ie period from January to end of March) is to rebuild muscle, get back walking habit (at least 3x a week) and get to 171. That's 10 pounds.
I will add that losing 10 pounds is not easy for me. It's easier when one is big-big, though even for big me, losing 1 to 2 pounds a week required quite a lot of discipline. I was the laggard in Allan's challenges (though I stuck out the ones I joined to the end). So, 3.3 pounds a month --or roughly under 1 pound a week--is going to mean I have to focus a lot on my calories. Watching, adding, monitoring, curtailing. And burning some off. Though I find consumption matters more than exertion. What I eat affects the scale the most.
Exercise, though, affects how I feel and how my clothes fit. I see more muffin top with my abdominal and back muscle depleted. I hate that. But keeping muscle takes work, just as building it takes work. It doesn't happen by wishing.
The sad truth about weight for those of us who were formerly obese/morbidly obese/severely morbidly obese/super-obese is that weight comes back at alarming speed and goes down with reluctance.
Granted, some folks hold tons of water and those first weeks on a diet make for a beautifully satisfying whoosh of 7 or 10 or more pounds. Not me. I am not that level of water-hoarder. But that's mostly fluid, and the business of burning fat is always harder. And the closer to goal weights we get, that much harder. Sometimes, maddeningly hard.
I'm here to tell you maintenance is tough. I've seen a host of blogging pals drop out of sight when they couldn't keep the weight off. I don't wanna do that. I want to say, here I am, with some regain, aiming to stop it and get back in maintenance range.
A bit of advice from someone with a near-lifelong weight struggle who used blogging and online aids to finally make progress (and I hit 303 lbs on my doc's scale in 2004, for reference):
If you're big or very big and starting on your weight loss journey this year, please be accountable on your blog. BE ACCOUNTABLE. It's the main reason I began THIS blog, stopped the old one, and focused on goals and numbers and photos and self-examination and challenges.
Accountability means you put it out there and try to figure out how to solve the problems. It's hard. It's often embarrassing .
(See my Phat Pilates pics--click on tab link under the blog header-- if you want to see EMBARRASSING! It was really hard for me to post those when I was huge-huge and clumsy and sweaty in tight clothes and messed up hair.)
Don't use the blog just to wax eloquently or awkwardly about your ordinary life stuff. That won't cut it. That won't help you.
Make specific goals. DAILY GOALS. WEEKLY GOALS. MONTHLY GOALS. SEASONAL GOALS. ANNUAL GOALS. Let the community know if you met goals or failed to meet them. Examine why you can't make a breakthrough. Read. Study. Introspect. Ask folks to kick you in the butt when you grow lax. Support others as a way to support yourself, too. Sometimes, reading others doing the same things you are --good or bad--has a wonderfully motivating effect.
But weigh and plug those numbers in. Put them out there. Defuse them and make them just measures. MEASURES of lack of or wonderful progress. Don't expect 4 pounds a week (unless you're male and huge or female and huge and really active). Just make reasonable, attainable goals and, if you do not quit, if you persist, you will see progress.
One pound a week is 52 pounds a year In two years, that's 104 pounds.
One-half pound a week is 26 pounds a year, 52 pounds in two years.
Two pounds a week is 104 pounds in one year, 208 in two.
Consistency is the key. You can lose 26, regain 30. You can lose 80, regain 50. You can lose 200, regain 200.
What you want, and what I want, is to lose and keep it off.
The odds of success are slight. Google it. Very few keep off large amounts of lost weight.
So, focusing on the quickie crash diet that gets off 10 pounds in 2 weeks will leave you nowhere if you gain it back, and odds are you WILL regain it.
You have to learn what you like and what is nutritious and what contains your large appetite or urges to snack unhealthfully. You have to figure out what works for your body and, if present, medical conditions. You may need to see a dietitian. Or a doctor. You should read and educate yourself. You should visit blogs of folks who lost weight and KEPT it off for a year plus. The ones keeping it off 5 years plus. They have learned something.
Find a buddy. Keep a journal (or a blog journal). Be honest. Don't run away and hide when it's tough. Find people who won't stop telling you to keep at it. Join challenges with kind people who believe in TOUGH LOVE, ie. they don't clap at your failings or enable you, but they do offer a hand when you need to get back up and walk on. Flabby love lets you get away with anything, buys lame excuses. REAL love wants the best for you and will speak firmly to you, refusing to allow you to wallow and not make progress. Real love says, "Stop that. It's hurting you!"
Always choose what helps, not just what feels good. What helps. What profits. What is good. What builds you up on your journey. Choose that.
It's gonna be hard. But it's worth it in so many ways to try and try with a fully committed spirit and heart and mind.
Really, you don't have to get skinny. You just have to get OUT of obesity--being overweight may not be as bad as previously thought, though being obese is still a bad thing-- and get stronger which will be useful in daily activities and protective of health as you and I age. And keep learning. Believe you have the power to do it. Every day, tell yourself you are ABLE.
AND NEVER QUIT.
Happy Thursday. The third day of a new year. Be well...
 |
| Christmas red on toes, lower number on scale. |
It was 183.2 yesterday (see previous post), so the excess fluid from my holiday salty foods frenzy is...flowing out.
This puts me at a total loss of 118 pounds. Not my lowest number. Still out of the obese range, yay.
I don't like being in the 180s again. Not at all. My plan last year when I decided to move into MAINTENANCE had been to maintain in the 170s. Anywhere in the 170s, but preferably in the middle to lower ranges, sure. Just THAT weight "decade."
So, immediate goal is to get back into the 170s. Healthfully. With good nutrition. No crash diets. I don't care if it's slow. I don't want to end up with micronutrient deficiencies which impact a lot of my health issues.
Ultimate goal for this season (ie period from January to end of March) is to rebuild muscle, get back walking habit (at least 3x a week) and get to 171. That's 10 pounds.
I will add that losing 10 pounds is not easy for me. It's easier when one is big-big, though even for big me, losing 1 to 2 pounds a week required quite a lot of discipline. I was the laggard in Allan's challenges (though I stuck out the ones I joined to the end). So, 3.3 pounds a month --or roughly under 1 pound a week--is going to mean I have to focus a lot on my calories. Watching, adding, monitoring, curtailing. And burning some off. Though I find consumption matters more than exertion. What I eat affects the scale the most.
Exercise, though, affects how I feel and how my clothes fit. I see more muffin top with my abdominal and back muscle depleted. I hate that. But keeping muscle takes work, just as building it takes work. It doesn't happen by wishing.
The sad truth about weight for those of us who were formerly obese/morbidly obese/severely morbidly obese/super-obese is that weight comes back at alarming speed and goes down with reluctance.
Granted, some folks hold tons of water and those first weeks on a diet make for a beautifully satisfying whoosh of 7 or 10 or more pounds. Not me. I am not that level of water-hoarder. But that's mostly fluid, and the business of burning fat is always harder. And the closer to goal weights we get, that much harder. Sometimes, maddeningly hard.
I'm here to tell you maintenance is tough. I've seen a host of blogging pals drop out of sight when they couldn't keep the weight off. I don't wanna do that. I want to say, here I am, with some regain, aiming to stop it and get back in maintenance range.
A bit of advice from someone with a near-lifelong weight struggle who used blogging and online aids to finally make progress (and I hit 303 lbs on my doc's scale in 2004, for reference):
If you're big or very big and starting on your weight loss journey this year, please be accountable on your blog. BE ACCOUNTABLE. It's the main reason I began THIS blog, stopped the old one, and focused on goals and numbers and photos and self-examination and challenges.
Accountability means you put it out there and try to figure out how to solve the problems. It's hard. It's often embarrassing .
(See my Phat Pilates pics--click on tab link under the blog header-- if you want to see EMBARRASSING! It was really hard for me to post those when I was huge-huge and clumsy and sweaty in tight clothes and messed up hair.)
Don't use the blog just to wax eloquently or awkwardly about your ordinary life stuff. That won't cut it. That won't help you.
Make specific goals. DAILY GOALS. WEEKLY GOALS. MONTHLY GOALS. SEASONAL GOALS. ANNUAL GOALS. Let the community know if you met goals or failed to meet them. Examine why you can't make a breakthrough. Read. Study. Introspect. Ask folks to kick you in the butt when you grow lax. Support others as a way to support yourself, too. Sometimes, reading others doing the same things you are --good or bad--has a wonderfully motivating effect.
But weigh and plug those numbers in. Put them out there. Defuse them and make them just measures. MEASURES of lack of or wonderful progress. Don't expect 4 pounds a week (unless you're male and huge or female and huge and really active). Just make reasonable, attainable goals and, if you do not quit, if you persist, you will see progress.
One pound a week is 52 pounds a year In two years, that's 104 pounds.
One-half pound a week is 26 pounds a year, 52 pounds in two years.
Two pounds a week is 104 pounds in one year, 208 in two.
Consistency is the key. You can lose 26, regain 30. You can lose 80, regain 50. You can lose 200, regain 200.
What you want, and what I want, is to lose and keep it off.
The odds of success are slight. Google it. Very few keep off large amounts of lost weight.
So, focusing on the quickie crash diet that gets off 10 pounds in 2 weeks will leave you nowhere if you gain it back, and odds are you WILL regain it.
You have to learn what you like and what is nutritious and what contains your large appetite or urges to snack unhealthfully. You have to figure out what works for your body and, if present, medical conditions. You may need to see a dietitian. Or a doctor. You should read and educate yourself. You should visit blogs of folks who lost weight and KEPT it off for a year plus. The ones keeping it off 5 years plus. They have learned something.
 | |
| VICTORY in 2013! |
Always choose what helps, not just what feels good. What helps. What profits. What is good. What builds you up on your journey. Choose that.
It's gonna be hard. But it's worth it in so many ways to try and try with a fully committed spirit and heart and mind.
Really, you don't have to get skinny. You just have to get OUT of obesity--being overweight may not be as bad as previously thought, though being obese is still a bad thing-- and get stronger which will be useful in daily activities and protective of health as you and I age. And keep learning. Believe you have the power to do it. Every day, tell yourself you are ABLE.
AND NEVER QUIT.
Happy Thursday. The third day of a new year. Be well...
Thursday, November 15, 2012
Sad things, bad things...and maybe I need to blog here again before my milestones get crushed to dust...and a Hurricane Sandy relief fundraiser for those of you who write fiction...
I got on the scale today and saw: 180 lbs.
I kid you not. I freaked a bit. Just a bit. Got off the scale, and went. OK....back to basics.
I have an appointment with the trainer (Pilates) on MOnday. I will consult with her on how to have a more affordable workout plan at the studio (meaning classes, which ones, when, etc). I'll be back to walking, since sitting and writing burns like zip calories.
I'm back to my organic coop. Picked up my first share and ready to eat fruits and veggies in abundance.
You know, I hit a low of 169.8 when I lost my appetite after hubby lost his job. That was early July. And then, it crept up. I got lazy. Things got in my diet that hadn't been in it for a while, such as sugar. Not huge quantities at first, just a taste here and there of, oh, chocolate marzipan.
And this is how the fat comes back, my dears. This is exactly how.
A scosh over 10 pounds higher in four months. Bit by bit. Creep by creep. A pound this week, a pound next week. No binges. Not a single binge. Just an extra serving here, and not measuring there, and sitting on my butt on the couch instead of moving and breathing hard and sweating.
So, I'm FIVE pounds away from being obese again FIVE. You know how easy that would be? Oh, snap. I could blink and it's here. Losing five pounds is hard, hard work. Gaining it just requires you do...nothing.
Okay, so 180 lbs today. A slap in the face. A reproach from the scale. A reality check. A failure.
I became a lazy ass again. I got lax.
But you know what can happen today? You do what's needful. You get back to what was done before. I did it for two years (the eating control) and I did it for 4 years (the exercising). So, I do it again. And again.
You start again. From right here. :)
I'm sad today, and I wept, and it wasn't because of my weight. I got over the freak and am fine about that. I know what to do, just have to stop being slothful.
What made me weep is that a friend died. His wife is now a widow. His daughters are now fatherless. He had a congenital condition that no doubt contributed to the coma and eventual death--though doctors remain mystified. But he was younger than I am, one year younger. Because I am a person of a particular faith, I believe we will be hanging out together again one day, but his family's loss just makes me so, so sad. And then it reminded me of my nephew, and his being gone, and well. It's been a weepy day.
Then I visit a couple of blogs, blogging and dieting pals from when I began this blog , and one is dealing with severe medical issues and severe regain. Another is having a personal life upheaval, and severe regain. One has lost worldly possessions, and is probably regaining. One has a hubby with cancer, with a slight regain.
But in all these cases, the regain is the least of it, right? It's peanuts compared to the rest. Because, really, when it's about serious health issues or serious relationship problems or major disaster upheavals or ...DEATH...weight pales in comparison. It hurts and it sickens and it frustrates, but it's far worse to lose the ones we love, whether we lose them (or being with them) due to grave illness, mental issues, divorce, or whatever.
Weight matters. But other things matter more.
This is putting things in perspective. I'm not down and weepy today because I regained. I'm down because a good guy is gone from this place and his family is heartbroken and irrevocably changed. Someone who worked hard to be healthy to overcome what could not be intrinsically fixed. But he's still gone early.
To Beth. Keep the hope, hold on. To Karen: keep the faith, hold on, believe in miracles. To Big A: I know you'll be fine, cause you're one tough mother, but don't let the stress make you lose what you gained with so much hard work. You have the most precious things safe, the rest will come back. Jo: what can I say? Be strong for yourself and for him, and believe.
I hope y'all praying folks out there will keep these bloggy pals in mind.
I have no excuse, see? These folks have serious things going on right now, not I.My time came before-- job losses, disaster damages (of a MUCH MUCH slighter sort than A's major smack from nature), health crises, and the worst, deaths-- and my time will come again, cause that's life. Shit happens. Then sunshine. Shit happens again, then sunshine. Repeat, repeat. Die.
Yes, I have things intrinsically defective about me, but all I have to do is look back on this blog to when I was doing the needful things. The things I need to do again. I HAVE NO EXCUSE.
Nearly two years ago on this blog, when I was 53 or so pounds heavier than I am now, I wrote that the reason I needed to do it--lose weight, get healthier-- was because "' time is running out."
Guess what, I have even less time than when I first put this image on my blog:
Time moves on, even if we sit still and get nothing done about what we want related to, well,whatever--fat, fitness, work goals, personal relationship goals, spiritual goals.
Whatever it is you and I want to change, we only have RIGHT NOW. You have no guarantees, neither do I, that we have the next hour or next day or next year. A hurricane can hit a big city and take away a home, a car, a loved one. A plague. A cancer. A car accident. Anything can happen. This moment right now is all you know you have.
Wanna do something in your life? I know I want to, and I'm a procrastinater by nature. If it's tough, I wanna do it...later.
You better do it now.
Me, too.
And I guess I better get back to my weigh-ins and accountability. I want this happy weight "after" to stay happy. :D
Be well, my dears. And if you have a moment, pray grace and comfort over the Dorta family.
ADDENDUM: This is for those of you who are writing novels and might desire feedback from established/published authors (these are CBA authors, Christian fiction). There is a fundraiser underway. Get a published author to critique first 50 pages of your work. You'll have to bid. Here is the information. All proceeds go to Hurricane Sandy relief via Samaritan's Purse (I remember they did really good aid work after H. Rita). My church has gathered money and supplies and sent folks up north to help out, including folks to do manual labor. We're one nation, so yeah, we should help out, right?
I kid you not. I freaked a bit. Just a bit. Got off the scale, and went. OK....back to basics.
I have an appointment with the trainer (Pilates) on MOnday. I will consult with her on how to have a more affordable workout plan at the studio (meaning classes, which ones, when, etc). I'll be back to walking, since sitting and writing burns like zip calories.
I'm back to my organic coop. Picked up my first share and ready to eat fruits and veggies in abundance.
You know, I hit a low of 169.8 when I lost my appetite after hubby lost his job. That was early July. And then, it crept up. I got lazy. Things got in my diet that hadn't been in it for a while, such as sugar. Not huge quantities at first, just a taste here and there of, oh, chocolate marzipan.
And this is how the fat comes back, my dears. This is exactly how.
A scosh over 10 pounds higher in four months. Bit by bit. Creep by creep. A pound this week, a pound next week. No binges. Not a single binge. Just an extra serving here, and not measuring there, and sitting on my butt on the couch instead of moving and breathing hard and sweating.
So, I'm FIVE pounds away from being obese again FIVE. You know how easy that would be? Oh, snap. I could blink and it's here. Losing five pounds is hard, hard work. Gaining it just requires you do...nothing.
Okay, so 180 lbs today. A slap in the face. A reproach from the scale. A reality check. A failure.
I became a lazy ass again. I got lax.
But you know what can happen today? You do what's needful. You get back to what was done before. I did it for two years (the eating control) and I did it for 4 years (the exercising). So, I do it again. And again.
You start again. From right here. :)
I'm sad today, and I wept, and it wasn't because of my weight. I got over the freak and am fine about that. I know what to do, just have to stop being slothful.
What made me weep is that a friend died. His wife is now a widow. His daughters are now fatherless. He had a congenital condition that no doubt contributed to the coma and eventual death--though doctors remain mystified. But he was younger than I am, one year younger. Because I am a person of a particular faith, I believe we will be hanging out together again one day, but his family's loss just makes me so, so sad. And then it reminded me of my nephew, and his being gone, and well. It's been a weepy day.
Then I visit a couple of blogs, blogging and dieting pals from when I began this blog , and one is dealing with severe medical issues and severe regain. Another is having a personal life upheaval, and severe regain. One has lost worldly possessions, and is probably regaining. One has a hubby with cancer, with a slight regain.
But in all these cases, the regain is the least of it, right? It's peanuts compared to the rest. Because, really, when it's about serious health issues or serious relationship problems or major disaster upheavals or ...DEATH...weight pales in comparison. It hurts and it sickens and it frustrates, but it's far worse to lose the ones we love, whether we lose them (or being with them) due to grave illness, mental issues, divorce, or whatever.
Weight matters. But other things matter more.
This is putting things in perspective. I'm not down and weepy today because I regained. I'm down because a good guy is gone from this place and his family is heartbroken and irrevocably changed. Someone who worked hard to be healthy to overcome what could not be intrinsically fixed. But he's still gone early.
To Beth. Keep the hope, hold on. To Karen: keep the faith, hold on, believe in miracles. To Big A: I know you'll be fine, cause you're one tough mother, but don't let the stress make you lose what you gained with so much hard work. You have the most precious things safe, the rest will come back. Jo: what can I say? Be strong for yourself and for him, and believe.
I hope y'all praying folks out there will keep these bloggy pals in mind.
I have no excuse, see? These folks have serious things going on right now, not I.My time came before-- job losses, disaster damages (of a MUCH MUCH slighter sort than A's major smack from nature), health crises, and the worst, deaths-- and my time will come again, cause that's life. Shit happens. Then sunshine. Shit happens again, then sunshine. Repeat, repeat. Die.
Yes, I have things intrinsically defective about me, but all I have to do is look back on this blog to when I was doing the needful things. The things I need to do again. I HAVE NO EXCUSE.
Nearly two years ago on this blog, when I was 53 or so pounds heavier than I am now, I wrote that the reason I needed to do it--lose weight, get healthier-- was because "' time is running out."
Guess what, I have even less time than when I first put this image on my blog:
Time moves on, even if we sit still and get nothing done about what we want related to, well,whatever--fat, fitness, work goals, personal relationship goals, spiritual goals.
Whatever it is you and I want to change, we only have RIGHT NOW. You have no guarantees, neither do I, that we have the next hour or next day or next year. A hurricane can hit a big city and take away a home, a car, a loved one. A plague. A cancer. A car accident. Anything can happen. This moment right now is all you know you have.
Wanna do something in your life? I know I want to, and I'm a procrastinater by nature. If it's tough, I wanna do it...later.
You better do it now.
Me, too.
And I guess I better get back to my weigh-ins and accountability. I want this happy weight "after" to stay happy. :D
Be well, my dears. And if you have a moment, pray grace and comfort over the Dorta family.
ADDENDUM: This is for those of you who are writing novels and might desire feedback from established/published authors (these are CBA authors, Christian fiction). There is a fundraiser underway. Get a published author to critique first 50 pages of your work. You'll have to bid. Here is the information. All proceeds go to Hurricane Sandy relief via Samaritan's Purse (I remember they did really good aid work after H. Rita). My church has gathered money and supplies and sent folks up north to help out, including folks to do manual labor. We're one nation, so yeah, we should help out, right?
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
The Third Year Begins! Or..What Happens After the "Two Years To Happy Weight After"?
 | ||||
| 268--10 pounds more than when I started this blog |
 |
| 299 lbs--highest weight |
 |
| 278 pounds in 2009 |
What does this mean?
Originally, the title of this blog was "Two Years To Happy Weight After". I chose that name because I wanted to start fresh, with a new weight loss blog--the previous once was Once Upon A Diet--one that was goal-oriented, specific, and accountable. I decided I'd weigh-in weekly--publicly. I'd put up before pictures for all to see. And then the series of after pictures (as progress occurred). I gave myself two years to get out of obesity and hit goal weight of 160.
Being goal-oriented and specific helped. It really was a game-changer. No fudging or avoiding. I put it out there: what I wanted, what I'd do, what I was doing, when I was struggling, when I was sailing.
My highest weight at my home scale was 299. At the doc's scale, 303.
I began Once Upon a Diet in May of 2007 at 279 lbs.
I began this blog in September of 2010 at 258 lbs.
I am now 172.6 lbs, as of today.
I did not make 160 goal weight.
I did make and surpass my " happy weight" as defined on my previous blog, that is, 175 lbs. The weight I could live at and be happy, even if overweight.
 |
| 178 lbs |
 |
| 180 lbs |
 |
| 178 lbs May 2012 |
 |
| 172.6 lbs, today |
For the record, 160 is considered overweight of 5'6". I never aimed for skinny.
I am overweight. But I am okay with it. I don't discount trying to hit 160 still, but for now, I'm focusing on MAINTAINING.
I have good reason to take this seriously at this point.
My first post here on this blog referred to two bloggers who inspired me, both had lost a lot of weight and left obesity behind.
One is now obese again.
The other I have no idea, as the blog has gone private.
I know maintenance is hard. Do you know it? Believe it.
Most folks FAIL at it.
Whether they get to lean or just to "not obese," most fail.
So, I'm aiming to hold on, stay in the 170s. If I can find super-mojo and work on getting to 160's, amen and hallelujah. But I've lost 126 pounds and I've got a lot of odds against me. I want to win this war and, for now, that war is called Maintenance. Keeping the Pounds Off.
It's enough work for me right now.
I'm really glad I created this blog. I'm glad I joined Allan's challenges. I'm glad I hosted several challenges and was able to motivate myself and help others in the process.
I'm going to copy and paste that first post on September 3, 2010. I hope some of you out there who need to get out of morbid obesity or obesity will take heart and give yourself time. Don't focus on crash diets. I gave myself two years, and now I give myself the rest of my life to work on this. Give yourself the time you need to change your mindset.
I still have tons of work to do to reestablish and keep good habits.
If you've lost motivation, find it again. Fight for it. I plan to.
If you haven't started the journey--get prepared: Clean out the crap food from your house. Read solid books on good eating and LEARN, LEARN, LEARN. Get moving, consistently, often, even if it's a walk around your neighborhood every other day or dancing in your living room before you go to work. Go to the gym, if you can afford it. Lift heavy stuff with a video teacher, if you can't afford the gym.
Buy real food. Learn to prepare it simply and pleasantly. Watch the calories. Set a limit and stick to it. Drink water. Lots of it. Give those dangerous drive-thrus a pass. Learn what foods trigger you to eat more. Ditch them from your life.
Set goals. Specific ones. Daily ones. Weekly. Monthly. Annually. Goals with time-frames and actions steps to achieve them. Specific, concrete, real, measurable ones. Not pie in the sky vague ones. NOt, "I'll try better." But lay out what "try better" really is and how you do it, step by step.
Work on the inner issues, emotional and spiritual and mental. Get help from pros if you have serious ones.
Save money and get a trainer. Budget for some dietitian visits. See a cognitive therapist if you can't seem to get past some issues.
It's worth giving up some perks and entertainments--Starbucks, movies, a vacation trip, magazines, those brand name heels, that new electronic toy--to get healthy.
You may fall short, like me, but falling short can sometimes still mean gaining a hella lot. I'm not 300 lbs anymore. I'm not obese anymore. I feel better. I look better. Daily life is just better when health improves and limbs are more flexible and clothes fit better and you can sit in chairs in public and not worry they will break. Sex is better. Sleep is better. The camera isn't as scary.
Life is just better.
I wish you well if you're starting your journey. Believe in your ability to do it starting TODAY!
Okay, here's that first post:
Friday, September 3, 2010
DAY 1--Starting Fresh with A Clear Goal--Two years to happy weight
It occurred to me yesterday--and re-occurred yet again to me today--that I'm not terribly clear on my goals unless I'm in a challenge. Even in challenges, I tend to slack off and lose sight of stuff.
My original weight loss blog, Once Upon a Diet, began with the idea of using fairy tale/fantasy themes (as I'm an SF otaku), and in the beginning, I really tried to keep to that theme in terms of labels and ideas.
But the blog itself was vague: Once...once...that's vague.
This one will not be vague. I have kept the theme in the title--"Happy Ever Weight" as a play on "happily ever after" fairy tale endings in conjunction with fatfighter-speak of "happy weight", the weight one could live with as opposed to the ideal that may be unrealistic for many or most (because of the deprivations involved to be low medical chart weight).
I was very happy to see two fellow fatfighting bloggers reach the goals enshrined in their blog titles:
Lyn from ESCAPE FROM OBESITY blog has literally escaped: She is now merely "overweight," and no longer obese. How beautiful is that? I applaud her effort, persistence, and insightful blog posts. (Do look at her recipes, some are so numsy.) Lyn rocks and I do not doubt she will be "normal" weight before long. Congrats, Lyn.
and
Dawne, whose blog used to be called "365 Days to a New Me"...well, she did it. And she's now a new Dawne, 84 lbs lighter and looking terrific too! Do click that link and the pics of her transformation and her reflections/recap. She's retitled her blog to "It's My Time" as she begins a new year. I'm sure it's going to be even better. Dawne is a huge inspiration and her deep spiritual perspective is encouraging.
I like the idea--like it VERY much--of having a clear goal in the blog title. Whether to "escape from obesity" or become new in 365 days or... in my case here, be at a happy weight--I selected 160 lbs--2 years...I think just logging on is a reminder of what I am here to do with this blog. Get healthier by getting to a healthy weight.
I don't want it to be a fairy tale. I just want the fairy tale ending.
I will keep my old blog, Once Upon a Diet, up for reference. I have many excellent posts and reflections, if I say so myself, as well as pictures and resources. And I want to be able to look back at my own milestones. So, yes, I'm keeping it. But this is where I'll be from now on...with a clear goal in mind.
I will discuss my shorter term goals and plans in coming posts, and I will institute a weigh-in day, etc. I hope you continue to support me as you did in my previous blog. I hope you continue to follow me, if you did so before.
New beginnings...thank God we can always have them.
Blessing to you today. Let's all be renewed to our goals...
Sunday, May 27, 2012
Ready for Summer Update #9: Next To Last Week...and a loss, at last. Still depressed, though...Oh, and Exercise? What exercise?
Tanita-San:177.6
Last Week: 178.8
Um, color me shocked. I was hoping for staying the same and afraid of regain (I had a couple days when I ate over 2000 calories.)
I did not one lick of exercise. NOT ONE. I cancelled my trainer sessions and just wallowed a bit in my depression. I've slept 12 hours pretty much most days. I feel completely lacking in vim.
So, clearly, I sucked this week. I met NOT goals other than the weight and fluid ones. That's it. And I had to struggle to do this update, as my motivation is at ground level. Well, not in the basement, or I would be 10 pounds up by now. But I'm hanging on enough.
The loss is a fluke. Maybe the stress burns calories. Hubby's company is set to lay off anywhere from 2K to 6K employees, so I'm stressing BIG time. And still depressed. Stress, anxiety and depression.
Maybe the loss is from muscle atrophy from not doing squat. Could be? ; )
I checked on something: We started this challenge with 57 folks. Last week, 21 updated. We lost 36 challengers along the way.
To all who are sticking by your commitment to this challenge, good for you. I've not done well, but I committed, so I'm trying to hang in here and update and be accountable.
It's lovely to see some former challengers from my previous challenges--Jo, Nanette, etc--hanging in!
To those who dropped out, what happened? Did you struggle a lot, too? I feel ya. Don't lose heart. Try again.
I flunked this challenge so far. No question. And I don't wallow for it. Not one bit.
A look back to now: My initial goals of activity were often met. My caloric ones, less consistently. My fluid ones 99%. I missed some mini-challenges, especially as the depression came on.
I think if I hadn't had this accountability, I'd be in a worse place. Maybe. Only God knows. BUT...I think so. So, for that alone, I am very grateful. Thank you, Maren.
I hope some of the ladies who ditched the challenge reassess, make an update, and join in for the finale. Let's finish together. Only one week left. ONE week is enough to recommit, to make some progress, to learn something, to encourage someone, to be encouraged. One week can count!
Okay, specifics for week past, then the final week goals:
I didn't make it in time to link up to the mini-challenge, but what I planned for it was to resume tracking. I'm struggling even with consistency with tracking, but at least trying to makes me think about calories more, daily. My apathetic and depressed self didn't get on this until FRIDAY of this past week. BUT, it was having this challenge in mind that got me back on that horse. Because of that, I was able to assess again where my food is, the state of my eating. This is valuable. :D
My NSVs were not wallowing in delivery. I gave in two days to delivery Chinese, a type of food I'd almost given up as I'd lost weight. Part of me was craving that old comfort. But then I caught myself and stopped on the rest of the days when I didn't wanna dress or make food. I wanted to make calls and have food brought to me. So, for me, the NSV was saying no to that 5 days out of 7. It wasn't easy. My depressed brain wanted the salty-fatty-delivery. Instead, I dragged myself to the kitchen and made my eggs or my salad or my soup when sloth got the better of me. This was my NSV for the week. A minimal one, but it counts a lot to me. The days I said NO were more than the days I said YES to bad habits from the past.
Goal for last week: I would love to end the challenge a little lower than I started, but if I end up the same weight, it will still be a victory to me. Not gaining is a victory to me, especially when my heart is not in it and being back in it even a bit is a daily fight.I think if I can get beyond my own emotional dark-block and MOVE in the SUN, I'll feel better and maybe lose a bit. So, the only goals I'm setting is to continue tracking and to move, at something, anything, just get out of my brooding bed and move.
Not quitting, ever. :)
Be well
Friday, May 25, 2012
Formally Tracking Again....and an apology with some comments on "whining" and what I mean by it...
Okay, so I haven't tracked, walked, or really been disciplined in a couple weeks plus.
Actually, I have only mentally tracked for months.
So, as an exercise in discipline for today--since what I need is to get that BACK, the discipline--I started tracking again. Today. With Breakfast: 480 cals. 27 carbs.
It was a weird feeling entering each item I ate and seeing the data add up. I spent over a year faithfully tracking, until it became burdensome, and I dropped it. Now, it feels nostalgic. I remember the 268 pound me really facing the long journey and deciding, okay, this is one tool. One.
I remember how much I learned using it, though it was a pain in the kiester, as a lot of things requiring faithfulness and discipline are.
I haven't weighed in days. I haven't even mentally tallied calories in days. I have felt such apathy and sadness. But today, I begin small. I track.
Ya know, I feel a little better. Just doing this little old "diet discipline" thing made me remember. It was so much harder and sadder being morbidly obese. But I remember the drive and fear and hopefulness of my furiously intense tracking days. That was a good thing to remember. How much I wanted to be...here.
~~~~~~
I apologize if I offended anyone with yesterday's post.
It wasn't meant to say we cannot gripe or whine on our blogs, which of course, that's one of the reasons for HAVING a blog, to be able to be ourselves. It's not meant to say our diet journeys don't matter. Health matters. It's meant to say we matter more than the diet, and other things matter more in perspective, so not to let our weights be the determinant of our being, our feelings, our outlook. That makes us slaves, in a way.
My feelings as blogged yesterday came from my observations of a certain distortion that can happen with diet bloggers: How a pound up can make folks feel worthless and like failures and the self-hate that follows. How that pound takes on a meaning beyond what it should have. The lack of perspective.
A needed vent, whine is therapeutic.
Speaking of some negative things: necessary.
When the whines go on and one, chronically, and the scale is master and lord, one's perspective surely can become screwed up. Badly screwed up. (Been there.)
My tracker, my scale, calculations of BMI, and so forth--these are tools. And they should never rule or define me. EVER. I told myself this in 2010, and I still tell myself this.
Morbidly obese me had as much value as not morbidly obese me.
But morbidly obese me couldn't move or feel as good or have the renewed dreams not obese me can, simply cause I have better ability to FUNCTION in my day to day. And the growth in self-worth isn't cosmetic. It's because I achieved something I wanted to. I wanted to NOT be obese. I wanted to become master of my food, not let food master me.
The previous post, partly born of depression, partly of frustration at the self-hating from the blogging sphere over failures, was meant to say, "Keep perspective." Hating ourselves (and in some cases out there hating OTHERS) for failing to meet slimming goals is counter-productive and, yes, adds to the negative power in the world. We need to cut that crap out.
Even as we learn to discipline ourselves, we need to forgive ourselves when we fail. Not for self-indulgence's sake--cause if there's anything we overeaters don't need is an excuse to self-indulge-- but for the sake of being humane in our journey. It's easy to lose that perspective.
And when that number can ruin our day and alter our sense of self, we've lost perspective. It's time for a corrective at that point.
(It goes both ways. If a pound lost can make the radical sunshine reaction change in your day, like the pound gained can put a huge black cloud over it, there's some calibration issues with one's emotions. It's like the scale-mediated bipolar syndrome or something.)
So far, I haven't had a number ruin my day in a long while, though I may not like the number. Though it may not be my goal number. I look at the feedback and try to do better, but I refuse to be self-hating anymore about weight. I spent too many years--decades!--doing that. What did it get me? Diddly squat other than low self-esteem.
While I disagree with the Heath-At-Any-Size folks on some particulars--sorry, me at 300 and 400 and 500 pounds could hardly be called healthy, and I'm not buying that line--I do believe we ought to be loved, respected, and valued AT ANY SIZE. Even by ourselves. And that's really hard to do, but I believe it should be part of the program as we work on HEALTH and getting to different size.
Maybe we should ask about the motivations and the outcomes:
Is my whine/vent about a frustration? Is it about self-hate? Is it ongoing and fruitless? Is it therapeutic, a release?
These are questions I will ask myself. And maybe you should ask, too.
If whining is persistent and goes nowhere in terms of progress, internally and externally, then that whining is a mental rut or self-indulgence, the latter of which makes it a lack of virtue or, if really chronic, a character flaw , not a release or a vent.
For Christians, it would qualify as a sin, perhaps, at that point. Just take a tour of what Scripture has to say on whining, complaining, murmuring. It may apply. It may not. This requires self-examination.
With a caution: Just because a thing is "permissible", doesn't mean it's beneficial. That which makes you FEEL better for the moment may actually be keeping you from being built up into what you want to be.
I've been there; I know that where my mind and spirit abided, in times past--and I'm talking pre-2010-- were BAD places of much complaint and some despair and a whole lotta self-loathing. If it gets to that point, we who were told that no matter the situation"in everything, give thanks" need to cut that out. It's a command.
It's a simple fact to say, "I chose to eat X and it was off plan. I feel sad about that. I feel frustrated and wanna SCREAM. I'm considering why I made these decisions, in these situations, so maybe I can have strategies to better fit those temptations. Here's where maybe I went wrong and can do better, yadda X and yadda Y... And though I feel sad, I know I can learn from this. I can do better. I won't let this cut me up and get to me. I will fix this somehow."
That's not whining. That's assessing. That's confessing. That's learning. That's keeping hope. That's something that can lead to self-work that is productive, I think.
Whining--the whining I refer to, not the occasional vent--is when there's this sort of persistent sense of "woe is me" going on and on on a blog, a repetitive thing, a habitual thing:
...this thing happened and that thing happened and another thing happened and it's not my fault I overate cause I was stressed and then I got tempted by birthday cake and I couldn't resist and then my sister made this and I ate that and why do they tempt me and how come people don't support me and help me stay on my plan and then I went to get donuts cause my neighbor was mean to me again and really I'm just so lazy that I can't bring myself to walk which isn't my fault cause it's hot and there are mosquitoes and I get itchy, but I should go to the gym, but I didn't, cause the gym people stare and were smirking at me last time, and it's the worst, and I hate that I'm like this and I hate myself, and when I hate myself, I just wanna eat more...
I don't see how that helps much, other than the venting aspect, if for some that helps. And it may.
BUT, is it a pattern? Vent and vent and whine and whine and...then what? It can become another sort of addiction, maybe. Addicted to the vent-whine and the pats on the back that can follow. The sympathy addiction.
Which helps precisely how?
I'm seriously asking that. If it helps, then do it. I can't say don't do something that is leading you down the right road, helping you make progress.
I just wonder at the follow-up: And then what. Does it help? Does it really lead to progress? Or is it just about FEELING the moment. And then..no fruit. A dead tree.
If it bears fruit and helps: do it.
If it has not helped and you're still stuck and whining: Please, find another way. It's a dead tree that can't nourish you. Why keep watering it?
So, if what I wrote yesterday hurt your feelings in any way, or sounded too bossy or critical, I'm sorry. It was not meant to do that. It really was not.
(And I hope you were brave enough to read the story.)
Today, I'm still fighting for joy and self-control and to be well...
You, keep fighting, too, and find joy, and be well, too.
Actually, I have only mentally tracked for months.
So, as an exercise in discipline for today--since what I need is to get that BACK, the discipline--I started tracking again. Today. With Breakfast: 480 cals. 27 carbs.
It was a weird feeling entering each item I ate and seeing the data add up. I spent over a year faithfully tracking, until it became burdensome, and I dropped it. Now, it feels nostalgic. I remember the 268 pound me really facing the long journey and deciding, okay, this is one tool. One.
I remember how much I learned using it, though it was a pain in the kiester, as a lot of things requiring faithfulness and discipline are.
I haven't weighed in days. I haven't even mentally tallied calories in days. I have felt such apathy and sadness. But today, I begin small. I track.
Ya know, I feel a little better. Just doing this little old "diet discipline" thing made me remember. It was so much harder and sadder being morbidly obese. But I remember the drive and fear and hopefulness of my furiously intense tracking days. That was a good thing to remember. How much I wanted to be...here.
~~~~~~
I apologize if I offended anyone with yesterday's post.
It wasn't meant to say we cannot gripe or whine on our blogs, which of course, that's one of the reasons for HAVING a blog, to be able to be ourselves. It's not meant to say our diet journeys don't matter. Health matters. It's meant to say we matter more than the diet, and other things matter more in perspective, so not to let our weights be the determinant of our being, our feelings, our outlook. That makes us slaves, in a way.
My feelings as blogged yesterday came from my observations of a certain distortion that can happen with diet bloggers: How a pound up can make folks feel worthless and like failures and the self-hate that follows. How that pound takes on a meaning beyond what it should have. The lack of perspective.
A needed vent, whine is therapeutic.
Speaking of some negative things: necessary.
When the whines go on and one, chronically, and the scale is master and lord, one's perspective surely can become screwed up. Badly screwed up. (Been there.)
My tracker, my scale, calculations of BMI, and so forth--these are tools. And they should never rule or define me. EVER. I told myself this in 2010, and I still tell myself this.
Morbidly obese me had as much value as not morbidly obese me.
But morbidly obese me couldn't move or feel as good or have the renewed dreams not obese me can, simply cause I have better ability to FUNCTION in my day to day. And the growth in self-worth isn't cosmetic. It's because I achieved something I wanted to. I wanted to NOT be obese. I wanted to become master of my food, not let food master me.
The previous post, partly born of depression, partly of frustration at the self-hating from the blogging sphere over failures, was meant to say, "Keep perspective." Hating ourselves (and in some cases out there hating OTHERS) for failing to meet slimming goals is counter-productive and, yes, adds to the negative power in the world. We need to cut that crap out.
Even as we learn to discipline ourselves, we need to forgive ourselves when we fail. Not for self-indulgence's sake--cause if there's anything we overeaters don't need is an excuse to self-indulge-- but for the sake of being humane in our journey. It's easy to lose that perspective.
And when that number can ruin our day and alter our sense of self, we've lost perspective. It's time for a corrective at that point.
(It goes both ways. If a pound lost can make the radical sunshine reaction change in your day, like the pound gained can put a huge black cloud over it, there's some calibration issues with one's emotions. It's like the scale-mediated bipolar syndrome or something.)
So far, I haven't had a number ruin my day in a long while, though I may not like the number. Though it may not be my goal number. I look at the feedback and try to do better, but I refuse to be self-hating anymore about weight. I spent too many years--decades!--doing that. What did it get me? Diddly squat other than low self-esteem.
While I disagree with the Heath-At-Any-Size folks on some particulars--sorry, me at 300 and 400 and 500 pounds could hardly be called healthy, and I'm not buying that line--I do believe we ought to be loved, respected, and valued AT ANY SIZE. Even by ourselves. And that's really hard to do, but I believe it should be part of the program as we work on HEALTH and getting to different size.
Maybe we should ask about the motivations and the outcomes:
Is my whine/vent about a frustration? Is it about self-hate? Is it ongoing and fruitless? Is it therapeutic, a release?
These are questions I will ask myself. And maybe you should ask, too.
If whining is persistent and goes nowhere in terms of progress, internally and externally, then that whining is a mental rut or self-indulgence, the latter of which makes it a lack of virtue or, if really chronic, a character flaw , not a release or a vent.
For Christians, it would qualify as a sin, perhaps, at that point. Just take a tour of what Scripture has to say on whining, complaining, murmuring. It may apply. It may not. This requires self-examination.
With a caution: Just because a thing is "permissible", doesn't mean it's beneficial. That which makes you FEEL better for the moment may actually be keeping you from being built up into what you want to be.
I've been there; I know that where my mind and spirit abided, in times past--and I'm talking pre-2010-- were BAD places of much complaint and some despair and a whole lotta self-loathing. If it gets to that point, we who were told that no matter the situation"in everything, give thanks" need to cut that out. It's a command.
It's a simple fact to say, "I chose to eat X and it was off plan. I feel sad about that. I feel frustrated and wanna SCREAM. I'm considering why I made these decisions, in these situations, so maybe I can have strategies to better fit those temptations. Here's where maybe I went wrong and can do better, yadda X and yadda Y... And though I feel sad, I know I can learn from this. I can do better. I won't let this cut me up and get to me. I will fix this somehow."
That's not whining. That's assessing. That's confessing. That's learning. That's keeping hope. That's something that can lead to self-work that is productive, I think.
Whining--the whining I refer to, not the occasional vent--is when there's this sort of persistent sense of "woe is me" going on and on on a blog, a repetitive thing, a habitual thing:
...this thing happened and that thing happened and another thing happened and it's not my fault I overate cause I was stressed and then I got tempted by birthday cake and I couldn't resist and then my sister made this and I ate that and why do they tempt me and how come people don't support me and help me stay on my plan and then I went to get donuts cause my neighbor was mean to me again and really I'm just so lazy that I can't bring myself to walk which isn't my fault cause it's hot and there are mosquitoes and I get itchy, but I should go to the gym, but I didn't, cause the gym people stare and were smirking at me last time, and it's the worst, and I hate that I'm like this and I hate myself, and when I hate myself, I just wanna eat more...
I don't see how that helps much, other than the venting aspect, if for some that helps. And it may.
BUT, is it a pattern? Vent and vent and whine and whine and...then what? It can become another sort of addiction, maybe. Addicted to the vent-whine and the pats on the back that can follow. The sympathy addiction.
Which helps precisely how?
I'm seriously asking that. If it helps, then do it. I can't say don't do something that is leading you down the right road, helping you make progress.
I just wonder at the follow-up: And then what. Does it help? Does it really lead to progress? Or is it just about FEELING the moment. And then..no fruit. A dead tree.
If it bears fruit and helps: do it.
If it has not helped and you're still stuck and whining: Please, find another way. It's a dead tree that can't nourish you. Why keep watering it?
So, if what I wrote yesterday hurt your feelings in any way, or sounded too bossy or critical, I'm sorry. It was not meant to do that. It really was not.
(And I hope you were brave enough to read the story.)
Today, I'm still fighting for joy and self-control and to be well...
You, keep fighting, too, and find joy, and be well, too.
Monday, April 9, 2012
Ready for Summer: Update #2, Easter Sunday Park Workout Edition! With Pics! :D
Tanita-San: 177.8
Waist: 34.75 Last Week:
178.6
34.75
Start of Challenge:
182.4
waist: 35
I made my week's goal of being under 178, as well as my initial challenge ongoing-goal of at least 1/2 pound loss per week. I had actually touched 177.4 one day this past week, but then it bobbled back up. Still....Me so happy!!!
I was able to use AGAIN my Vera Bradley "reward purses"--a shoulder bag and a tote in a matching floral-- that I gave myself back when I first went under 180. I had to put them back to "off limits" after my regain. They're both back in purse rotation now. ...heh heh....I took the tote to the park. :D
And I met the other challenge goal for the week:
Mini-challenge for the week: try a different workout
I guess the activities for Sunday qualify: I played, consecutively, catch/pitch, frisbee, volleyball (netless), and some badminton (netless). It wasn't a DVD or planned workout--I just figured I'd do active things other than what I normally do (stretch, Pilates, dancing, walking).
A couple pics hubby took during the pitch/catch portion follow --and my right arm muscles are sore today, I may add, so I really did try to make it "work", and I feel a slight soreness in my hamstrings, too. Which activity that's from, who knows? I jumped and did a bit of running and bent down a lot to retrieve uncaught balls/frisbees/shuttlecocks/etc~~~~
 |
| Look at the glove: I caught the ball! |
 |
| I'm actually not a bad pitcher for a middle-aged dame who was never athletic, ever. My nephew, who plays baseball in school, complimented my pitches and the strength in my throws. :D |
It was interesting to watch the activity--or rather INactivity--behavior at the park.
While the adults mostly sat in the shade and ate and chatted, the kids/teens and a few of the fathers were lightly active (helping kids with kites/strings mostly, and later, a few, after some digesting, kicking a soccer ball around).
The women did squat. Seriously. I saw no women in the neighboring groups doing a thing that involved sporty movement. And many were carrying loads of belly fat. I can see more diabetes in our national future....
Anyway, Principally, it was the kids playing, adults eating while sedentary. And yes, lots of obese and overweight folks around (including me, I'm overweight!).
It was kind of nice to notice hubby and I--both in our fifties--were outliers: Old peops moving around and sweating. I want us to keep at that.
Conclusion: We need to move more in the US. Outings to parks should include not just barbecuing and drinking of caloric beverages, but some sports activity to burn that off.
Other challenge stuff:
Fluids were fine. Calories were on target 5/7 days. I had 1800 calories on Easter, including ham, cheese, gluten-free pasta and veggie salad, and lots of fruit.
Today, I got my blood drawn for my next appointment with my endocrinologist. Hoping my thyroid numbers are very good--and I do feel improved in all the areas that were bothering me when my TSH went bonkers. :D So...we'll see...
The next mini-challenge isn't announced until Wednesday. Hope I remember to go check on it. :-/
NSV: Not really aware of one, unless looking at my reflection in a store window and thinking, "Dang, you look hot today, baby!" counts. I get bummed sometimes about the loose skin and stuff, but that day, I felt beautiful and got lots of compliments. I think attitude really helps, too.We need to cultivate a bit more self-appreciation on the journey, even when we're not "there" yet..even when we're older..even when we're crinklier...even when we've still got body issues.
Goals I hope to have achieved by next RfS check-in:
2 strengthening, 4 cardio workouts
1500 calories a day
10 glasses of fluids daily
And be at least 1/2 pound less than this weigh-in (ie, 177.2 or less).
Happy new week to all. Be well...
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Final Update: E2E Challenge and an eye to a future challenge for those "Close to Goal"...
Tanita-san now: 177.8 lbs
Starting weight: 183.0 lbsEnding waist: 34.75 inches
Starting waist: 36.0 inches Challenge loss: 5.2 lbs
Waist decrease: 1.25 inchesI did not meet my challenge goal to lose 10 pounds. I lost a bit over half.
I did meet my challenge goal to get my waist under 35 inches. I measure with a Myotape, always, for years, so it may or may not be accurate, but at least it shows a consistency.
I found out a month and a week into the challenge that my thyroid status was bad. This certainly helps explain why I was having trouble and gaining/regaining, was losing hair, had horrible joint pain (gout-like pain), suffered increasing lethargy, experienced lowered mood, and slept up to 16 hours some days, 14 others.
I'm pretty sure that this is improving,though I dont' get retested until next week. My hair loss has stabilized. My energy is up. I'm sleeping fewer hours, the weird joint pains have resolved and all that's left are the usual arthritic/bursitic/torn ligament issues and pain. And after having regained to 184 pounds and change, I'm back down to my nearly lowest weight on this journey. I'd say the increased thyroid med dosage has come into play. :D
I still do not fit into the dress, though I fit BETTER into it. I'll just repost the pics from a couple days back, since it's pretty much where the dress fits now:
My starting weight/stats/photos can be viewed here.
I stayed hydrated nearly every day of this challenge. I supported my buddy and some fellow challengers--and it was never my goal to support ALL 18, but I always met the minimum of supporting at least 3 a week in addition to my buddy. I never missed setting up a linky for the challenge-mates. I didn't quit.
My main helpful book this challenge was THE WILLPOWER INSTINCT, and if you have willpower issues, yes, I recommend it. The other book for the challenge was THE SMARTER SCIENCE OF SLIM. If you've gotten to obesity and want a healthful way of eating that helps keep appetite calm and gets you plenty of nutrients and has some science behind it, this is a good one. Lots of studies, charts, and a very easy recommendation for a high-protein eating plan that keeps you full.
These two following were my guiding quotes, and they still apply. I will see them as quotes useful for the whole of 2012 or life:
"The ability to discipline yourself to delay gratification in the short term in order to enjoy greater rewards in the long term is the indispensable prerequisite for success."
~~Maxwell Maltz
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
~~Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
For me, after a time of struggle and health status decline, just hanging in and regaining ground feels like a victory. Imagine if I had quit...if I had tossed in the towel . I'd be 20 or more pounds heavier by now, given my lousy thyroid measure (5.5 points HIGHER than my normal status). I'd have eaten my way in short order back well into obesity. It's ridiculously easy to gain. Is this not so? It's hard to fight when you feel down, stressed, beset, tired, unmotivated.
It's what you and I do when times are rough that will determine how this works out long-term. If you give up, you lose the fight. If you keep at it, keep at it, keep at it, seeking solutions, finding strategies, working to hold on to even the smallest miniscule of motivation or lightest molecule of hope, there's a chance to turn it around.
But not if you QUIT.
I did not quit. Almost all of the challengers (17 out of 18) did not quit, and our Bluezy came back for the finale. I'm hoping all 18 of us check in by noon Monday!
I'm very proud of them.
I'm proud of me.
God bless us all and help us as we continue on this difficult journey to better health and a happy weight. For life!
I'll see you guys in the Ready for Summer challenge --my second week update will be posted prolly on Monday--and around our bloggy realm of fatfighters.
Finally, an announcement: FUTURE CHALLENGE IN THE WORKS!
I am considering a challenge for later in the summer called "Close to Goal" for those with 25 or fewer pounds to lose: That last stretch toward whatever is the chosen goal weight.
I'd want to keep it smallish and for those who have already lost a lot and just need to push through those tough last bunch of pounds. If that's something you might be interested in, keep an eye open. I'll probably fiddle with a a blog url I already claimed and, if time permits, play with the layout. There's a temporary blog theme there now.
I'll set it up in a few weeks at http://close2goal.blogspot.com.
Just an early heads up for those who may be interested, be qualified (have lost lots, need to lose a bit more) --with priority given to those who have already done and completed challenges with me. (If you quit on any of my challenges, don't join. I only want folks who'll stick it out. Sorry, but I get irked when people drop out of my challenges.)
So, see you soon, my dears. BE WELL. Blessings upon you....a holy Passover time...and a very, very joyful, love-filled, hope-assured Easter. Believe in a whole new life for yourself and others!
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
A bloggy recommendation for those starting this weight loss journey with a lot to lose or change..A pre-final update try-on of the E2E dress...and some thoughts/advice on weight-loss blogging...
I've been thinking a lot about how my two year blog "get to goal" deadline is closing in. Only FIVE months away. Boy, does tempis fugit. It doesn't seem like more than a year and a half already since I began this blog for greater accountability, focus, and motivation.
My previous blog is one I think of as my "setting the stage" or "prepping the field". Three years of working on issues, trying assorted diets (including raw vegan), and figuring out why the hell I binge and why I could not seem to heal my eating issues. I was on a quest to know ME and heal MYSELF.
This blog was created when I finally found my stride and wanted to be visible, hence the pics, accountable, hence the weekly weigh-ins on the sidebar, and goal-oriented, hence the timeline and caloric limits and and exercise goals.
I want to tell you that if you have a LOT of weight to lose, be prepared to give it time
But be prepared for that time to whizz by. WHIZZ!
Two years sounded like a lot in 2010. Not so much now.
A year. Two years. Three years...this will seem ridiculously far away to you if you are early in your journey--or just about to start. YOu want it FAST AND FASTER.
Well, you know, 100 pounds, 200 pounds, 300 pounds. That's a lot to lose. Crash diets suck. Sorry, but they do. I've seen major crash and burns with folks who think the shortcut is the best path.
Give yourself time to lose and focus on goals, daily and weekly, monthly, annually. Make it as consistent as you can so you build habits. Learn a new way to eat and move that doesn't take you BACK to where you began.
Give it time.
And if you are going to blog about your journey (and I think it's a great motivating tool if you use it properly, for learning and accountability), be consistent with that, too. Sporadic blogging. Dishonest blogging. Skipping weigh-ins. Going blank for weeks. That's all a sign of being OUT of control and NOT willing to be accountable even to yourself.
Using a public forum for motivation ONLY works if you commit to BEING public with the goals/results. You will feel shame if you did poorly, and that is part of it. You will feel joy when you succeed, and that's great. People will commisserate. People will celebrate. People will offer advice. Soemtimes, people are cruel and nasty. But most of the time, people are supportive and kind and friendly.
Don't blog for weight loss if you're gonna lie and fudge. It really defeats the whole purpose of being public. You want to be as public with the lows and with the highs. The fails and the wins. That's the only way this forum keeps you on track. If you commit to it.
And I recommend one more thing: Do future blogs that will pop up to ask you questions. I saw another blogger do this, and I think it's a great idea.
If you set a year as your timeline, create a blog post that will post AUTOMATICALLY in a year's time. Date it a year from today. Create the post that asks you to answer questions about how you've come, if you've met goals, what you learned, where you are, and to set NEW goals for the coming year.
You can do this in any time frame you like, but it's another bloggy tool that can help. What will you ask of that future YOU? What do you want that future you to be doing, thinkng, weighing? Make the future post..today.
Cause time really does fly. Don't let one other year pass without getting even a bit closer to your goals. (Though a lot closer is always nicer, right?)
Now, the Dress:
I woke up, put on a bra (no panties or shapewear to help out, hah), clipped up my messy hair, and tried on the E2E dress (a size 14 regular --not W or plus-Nine West fitted sheath). Just to see if now that most of my regain is gone, where the zipper stands.
First, how it looked at the start of the challenge:
The zipper/back view today:
Front and side views today:
I noticed it was even less snug in the waist and hip area (more give, which is noticeable in the front view in the waist).
I'm glad to be making progress on losing the regain (I had gotten to 184 again briefly). Today, 178.8.
I wonder if that would have been better without the lunch of salty shredded beef Cuban style and the miso soup I made for supper. Lots of sodium yesterday, cause I didn't want meat or to cook much, so I just did take-out lunch and a quickie miso supper (paste in hot water, add mushrooms and scallions and seaweed). Plus a pear and some cashews. Miso is VERY VERY salty. Like 900 grams per tablespoon. I did have a glass of coconut water to balance the miso-sodium with some potassium. I think that helped. :D
So, take your pics. Start your blog. Be faithful with accountability. Chart your progress in numbers and pictures.
Some days, and some weeks--when it's hard and harder and hardest--knowing you have to check in and fess up to the world can keep you from going all nuts when temptation hits. It really can. I know it's done it for me many times on this journey. Knowing you'd SEE what I did or did not do made me think twice about skipping a workout or eating that extra helping.
When things are humming, you don't need this. But it doesn't always hum.
If you plan to blog to lose....and if you find it helpful at all...use the tool well. Everyone knows if you misuse a tool, it's not gonna get the job done.This isn't about being perfect. It's about being true.
Don't dawdle with it, fiddle with it, lie on it. Use the tool until you get to goal. Or for as long as it's useful. Not everyone thrives on this medium. If it's good for you, use it right. Use it consistently and with integrity...and it will yield results. I believe that. :)
Be well...
My previous blog is one I think of as my "setting the stage" or "prepping the field". Three years of working on issues, trying assorted diets (including raw vegan), and figuring out why the hell I binge and why I could not seem to heal my eating issues. I was on a quest to know ME and heal MYSELF.
This blog was created when I finally found my stride and wanted to be visible, hence the pics, accountable, hence the weekly weigh-ins on the sidebar, and goal-oriented, hence the timeline and caloric limits and and exercise goals.
I want to tell you that if you have a LOT of weight to lose, be prepared to give it time
But be prepared for that time to whizz by. WHIZZ!
Two years sounded like a lot in 2010. Not so much now.
A year. Two years. Three years...this will seem ridiculously far away to you if you are early in your journey--or just about to start. YOu want it FAST AND FASTER.
Well, you know, 100 pounds, 200 pounds, 300 pounds. That's a lot to lose. Crash diets suck. Sorry, but they do. I've seen major crash and burns with folks who think the shortcut is the best path.
Give yourself time to lose and focus on goals, daily and weekly, monthly, annually. Make it as consistent as you can so you build habits. Learn a new way to eat and move that doesn't take you BACK to where you began.
Give it time.
And if you are going to blog about your journey (and I think it's a great motivating tool if you use it properly, for learning and accountability), be consistent with that, too. Sporadic blogging. Dishonest blogging. Skipping weigh-ins. Going blank for weeks. That's all a sign of being OUT of control and NOT willing to be accountable even to yourself.
Using a public forum for motivation ONLY works if you commit to BEING public with the goals/results. You will feel shame if you did poorly, and that is part of it. You will feel joy when you succeed, and that's great. People will commisserate. People will celebrate. People will offer advice. Soemtimes, people are cruel and nasty. But most of the time, people are supportive and kind and friendly.
Don't blog for weight loss if you're gonna lie and fudge. It really defeats the whole purpose of being public. You want to be as public with the lows and with the highs. The fails and the wins. That's the only way this forum keeps you on track. If you commit to it.
And I recommend one more thing: Do future blogs that will pop up to ask you questions. I saw another blogger do this, and I think it's a great idea.
If you set a year as your timeline, create a blog post that will post AUTOMATICALLY in a year's time. Date it a year from today. Create the post that asks you to answer questions about how you've come, if you've met goals, what you learned, where you are, and to set NEW goals for the coming year.
You can do this in any time frame you like, but it's another bloggy tool that can help. What will you ask of that future YOU? What do you want that future you to be doing, thinkng, weighing? Make the future post..today.
Cause time really does fly. Don't let one other year pass without getting even a bit closer to your goals. (Though a lot closer is always nicer, right?)
Now, the Dress:
I woke up, put on a bra (no panties or shapewear to help out, hah), clipped up my messy hair, and tried on the E2E dress (a size 14 regular --not W or plus-Nine West fitted sheath). Just to see if now that most of my regain is gone, where the zipper stands.
First, how it looked at the start of the challenge:
The zipper/back view today:
Front and side views today:
I noticed it was even less snug in the waist and hip area (more give, which is noticeable in the front view in the waist).
I'm glad to be making progress on losing the regain (I had gotten to 184 again briefly). Today, 178.8.
I wonder if that would have been better without the lunch of salty shredded beef Cuban style and the miso soup I made for supper. Lots of sodium yesterday, cause I didn't want meat or to cook much, so I just did take-out lunch and a quickie miso supper (paste in hot water, add mushrooms and scallions and seaweed). Plus a pear and some cashews. Miso is VERY VERY salty. Like 900 grams per tablespoon. I did have a glass of coconut water to balance the miso-sodium with some potassium. I think that helped. :D
So, take your pics. Start your blog. Be faithful with accountability. Chart your progress in numbers and pictures.
Some days, and some weeks--when it's hard and harder and hardest--knowing you have to check in and fess up to the world can keep you from going all nuts when temptation hits. It really can. I know it's done it for me many times on this journey. Knowing you'd SEE what I did or did not do made me think twice about skipping a workout or eating that extra helping.
When things are humming, you don't need this. But it doesn't always hum.
If you plan to blog to lose....and if you find it helpful at all...use the tool well. Everyone knows if you misuse a tool, it's not gonna get the job done.This isn't about being perfect. It's about being true.
Don't dawdle with it, fiddle with it, lie on it. Use the tool until you get to goal. Or for as long as it's useful. Not everyone thrives on this medium. If it's good for you, use it right. Use it consistently and with integrity...and it will yield results. I believe that. :)
Be well...
Monday, April 2, 2012
Ready for Summer Update: After Week One, noticeable scale progress for me, the snail.
Tanita-San: 178.6
waist: 34.5
Initial challenge weight: 182.4
waist: 35
Goals:
I exceeded my mini-weight-loss goal of the week. I'm sure there's water loss due to cutting back on starches to one serving a day--again. :D
I fell short on cardio by one.
I met the strengthening goal.
I didn't meet caloric goals every day, but stayed close enough for progress.
Fluids: fine.
Except for one day, I met my "one starch a day goal".
I met the mini-challenge set by our leader. :D See below.
All in all: a good week. Very good. :) And all this during major stress. Maybe it's the stress burning some calories. I can feel my heart racing sometimes during the day. Yeah...
Mini-Challenge: new freggie~~
I had Japanese sweet potato in my organic coop, so I prepped it very simply. I boiled one. I didn't salt or butter or oil it. I scooped it out of the water, put about a half-cup's worth on a small plate, and tasted it. And, I really, really like it. It's like a nicer version to my recollection of Cuban sweet potato (boniato; batata). My middle sis loved boniato; I did not. But mom sometimes made it assuming I liked it. "No, mom. That's Balby who likes it." I haven't eaten it in decades. But like the Japanese sweet potato, it has a chestnutty taste. Or rather, to me, as a kid, eating chestnuts while walking in the cold Bronx winter, roasted chestnuts tasted like...boniato. :D
I like the texture of the boiled Japanese Sweet Potato. It's pale-fleshed, not like the orange of our usual sweet taters. They really are nicely sweet, so really, needs not a single thing to make it enjoyable. If you like chestnuts, these should work nicely for you. I am grateful for anything I can enjoy PLAIN and BOILED as I hate to cook. Heh.
Get nutritional info for it here.
My own goals for this week are the same for exercise and fluids and calories. I want to weigh in under 178 as my goal for next update.
The leader has asked us to do a new exercise as our mini-challenge for this week. Um, okay...gotta think about that. :D
On we go....
Monday, March 26, 2012
Week One, Ready for Summer: Mini-Goals for Refinding My Footing
Waist: 35 in.
Goals Overall: See previous post.
This week's specific mini-goals:
A challenge has been set for this specific week: Try a fruit or veggie or healthful dish that you've never tried before.
Weight: lose 1/2 pound and get UNDER 182.
Exercise: to not miss a single one of the minimums, which means 2 strengthening and 4 cardio. And as a special mini-goal this week: stretch every day. I've had joint issues, and I think this will help. I did it Sunday and today. :DNutrition: I want to ease back on the way I've let too many starches creep back in. Back to only ONE serving a day, period. This may help again with appetite.
Well, I've had a wide range of freggies having belonged to an organic coop for years. But I'm gonna go on the hunt for something. I can think of a few things I haven't tried (never had jicama or jerusalem artichoke, for instance). I'll see what Whole Foods can show me in this regard. Or I will just find a recipe and TRY that. It's something I kinda see as an adventure. :)
Ready for Summer Challenge: Initial Post with Goals For the Next 10 Weeks!
I want to continue to be accountable, but I do NOT want to lead another challenge right now, not after leading/co-leading three in a row. I want someone else to do linkies and such. :D
So, I hope I'm making this in time (3/26 was the cut-off) for Maren's challenge. Maren is a cool lady in Norway, and you should definitely check out here blog for great photos of her beautiful locale, where she hikes and gets fit and burns calories in a great setting.
Here's the initial post stuff, in the four areas where Maren has asked us to set goals:
Starting Weight: 182.4
Weight loss: To lose 5 lbs and get to 177.4
That's 1/2 pound a week in this 10-week challenge.
It sounds like not much, but my body is in a very stubborn place and my mind needs to just get back in the game now, not overly-push. So, this five pound loss would get me to my LOWEST weight in this journey again: 177.4, from which I hope to gain new ground again.
NSV: I bought a new designer top (Anne Klein) that doesn't quite fit right, and a Ralph Lauren floral dress that's snug in the upper torso...but with a five pound loss with continued exercise, I should fit into the former and maybe the latter. I don't want to tear these clothes wearing them tooo snug. This is enough incentive for the short term. I also have my current challenge dress that I'd like to fit BETTER in--a black Nine West 14 regular sheath. Pictures will be forthcoming.
Exercise: I'm in a rather fragile point with my knees, but I'd like to set the same goals as for E2E. 2 strengthening sessions a week.4 Cardio sessions per week. If I can do more, fine, but that will be the minimum.
Nutrition: This will be the tricky one, as I'm in a "hungry phase" that many long-term dieters hit. The mojo is lower than I'd like, and the appetite is higher. So, my goal is to not exceed 1500 calories daily, or 10,500 total weekly. I also intend to drink 10 glasses of fluid minimum, daily.
This may not lead to a 1/2 pound loss, but with concerted effort in exercise, it should. Weekly. If I'm consistent with calories and exercise, that 1/2 pound should come off a week. I'm hopeful. :D
So, I hope I'm making this in time (3/26 was the cut-off) for Maren's challenge. Maren is a cool lady in Norway, and you should definitely check out here blog for great photos of her beautiful locale, where she hikes and gets fit and burns calories in a great setting.
Here's the initial post stuff, in the four areas where Maren has asked us to set goals:
Starting Weight: 182.4
Weight loss: To lose 5 lbs and get to 177.4
That's 1/2 pound a week in this 10-week challenge.
It sounds like not much, but my body is in a very stubborn place and my mind needs to just get back in the game now, not overly-push. So, this five pound loss would get me to my LOWEST weight in this journey again: 177.4, from which I hope to gain new ground again.
NSV: I bought a new designer top (Anne Klein) that doesn't quite fit right, and a Ralph Lauren floral dress that's snug in the upper torso...but with a five pound loss with continued exercise, I should fit into the former and maybe the latter. I don't want to tear these clothes wearing them tooo snug. This is enough incentive for the short term. I also have my current challenge dress that I'd like to fit BETTER in--a black Nine West 14 regular sheath. Pictures will be forthcoming.
Exercise: I'm in a rather fragile point with my knees, but I'd like to set the same goals as for E2E. 2 strengthening sessions a week.4 Cardio sessions per week. If I can do more, fine, but that will be the minimum.
Nutrition: This will be the tricky one, as I'm in a "hungry phase" that many long-term dieters hit. The mojo is lower than I'd like, and the appetite is higher. So, my goal is to not exceed 1500 calories daily, or 10,500 total weekly. I also intend to drink 10 glasses of fluid minimum, daily.
This may not lead to a 1/2 pound loss, but with concerted effort in exercise, it should. Weekly. If I'm consistent with calories and exercise, that 1/2 pound should come off a week. I'm hopeful. :D
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Ah...there it is.
Tanita-san: 179.8
Okay, good, the rising mojo is showing results. I was pretty NOT happy with having popped up back into the 180s....
The real proof of this mojo pudding will be getting UNDER 178 and staying under. It will break this stasis, up and down the same few pounds gig that I'm weary of. I honestly don't care if all I lose is 1/2 pound a week. Or 1/4th of a pound a week. As long as it's a consistent trend again towards goal. (And goal is not a fixed point anymore. I've come to constantly reassess, but for now, yeah, 160 it is, but the number is not what I'm wed to. It's just a marker for progress.)
Believing for it!
Okay, good, the rising mojo is showing results. I was pretty NOT happy with having popped up back into the 180s....
The real proof of this mojo pudding will be getting UNDER 178 and staying under. It will break this stasis, up and down the same few pounds gig that I'm weary of. I honestly don't care if all I lose is 1/2 pound a week. Or 1/4th of a pound a week. As long as it's a consistent trend again towards goal. (And goal is not a fixed point anymore. I've come to constantly reassess, but for now, yeah, 160 it is, but the number is not what I'm wed to. It's just a marker for progress.)
Believing for it!
Sunday, August 28, 2011
BMI, average US Woman's stats, another milestone number to aim for, and "Hi" to all my future co-challengers in the next weight loss bloggy event for moi--Christmas Dress Countdown Challenge!
Tanita-san: 182.4
I loved seeing another half-pound down. I want to be in the 170s so badly. Another milestone will be hitting 172. For two reasons. It's the last weight at which I remember feeling truly sexy and good and flexible and well. Before the big illness hit and made me an invalid at 30, with miserable years thereafter soaked in black goo of depression and doctor visits, etc.
172 . I remember doing aerobics in my white shorts and white tank and feeling young and strong. 172. Milestone number in my brain. I wanna hit it.
Out of curiosity, I put 182 lbs (me now) and "172 lbs" (future me) in the BMI calculator to see what percentile that would put me in.
182 = 58th percentile
172 = 50th percentile (smack in the middle)
I then entered my goal weight to see where that would put me:
160 = 38th percentile (a much better place to be on that curve)
(I did hubby's stats on the calculator, too, the man who's leaned out like mad on our lacto-primal-ish eating, and he's in the 11th percentile. Go, long and lean prince o' mine!)
I found this from the CDC about the average American woman's measurements:
Nice to have a below average waist, when I'm above average in height (by 2 measly inches, though). Not nice to see the average US woman is overweight. Unless she's an athlete, full of heavy bones and muscle, 5'4" and 165 lbs is hardly lean.
I make myself this promise: I will get BELOW average weight. Yeah, baby!
Hello to the gals joining me in the Christmas Dress Countdown Challenge (henceforth, CDCC). As I mentioned in the comments section of in the rules post over at the CDCC blog, having a dress or outfit serves another purpose.
Ever have that week--those weeks--when the scale won't move but the body changes some, so you FIT BETTER in your clothes? Well, having a dress/outfit/coat/grass skirt/etc that you use for motivation is also having a tool to get you through the stalls. Cause if you are exercising, your body can still improve when the scale stalls. A dress can fit a little more even when the number stays the same on your home scale.
This is why it's a good tool. Visual. Tactile. And...a non-scale measure. Worth the investment. Motivation for less than 100 bucks. You can't get a life coach for that.
If you aren't already in a challenge and want some motivation-mojo to get through (most) of the year, go read the rules (see previous link for challenge blog) and see if it's the kind of challenge you CAN do and WILL do and are ready to do.
The blogroll on the right sidebar of the challenge blog is the roster of ladies already IN the ready-to-self-challenge for 14 weeks come September 11. View it here.
I loved seeing another half-pound down. I want to be in the 170s so badly. Another milestone will be hitting 172. For two reasons. It's the last weight at which I remember feeling truly sexy and good and flexible and well. Before the big illness hit and made me an invalid at 30, with miserable years thereafter soaked in black goo of depression and doctor visits, etc.
172 . I remember doing aerobics in my white shorts and white tank and feeling young and strong. 172. Milestone number in my brain. I wanna hit it.
Out of curiosity, I put 182 lbs (me now) and "172 lbs" (future me) in the BMI calculator to see what percentile that would put me in.
182 = 58th percentile
172 = 50th percentile (smack in the middle)
I then entered my goal weight to see where that would put me:
160 = 38th percentile (a much better place to be on that curve)
(I did hubby's stats on the calculator, too, the man who's leaned out like mad on our lacto-primal-ish eating, and he's in the 11th percentile. Go, long and lean prince o' mine!)
I found this from the CDC about the average American woman's measurements:
Women:
Height (inches): 63.8
Weight (pounds): 164.7
Waist circumference (inches): 37.0
Nice to have a below average waist, when I'm above average in height (by 2 measly inches, though). Not nice to see the average US woman is overweight. Unless she's an athlete, full of heavy bones and muscle, 5'4" and 165 lbs is hardly lean.
I make myself this promise: I will get BELOW average weight. Yeah, baby!
Hello to the gals joining me in the Christmas Dress Countdown Challenge (henceforth, CDCC). As I mentioned in the comments section of in the rules post over at the CDCC blog, having a dress or outfit serves another purpose.
Ever have that week--those weeks--when the scale won't move but the body changes some, so you FIT BETTER in your clothes? Well, having a dress/outfit/coat/grass skirt/etc that you use for motivation is also having a tool to get you through the stalls. Cause if you are exercising, your body can still improve when the scale stalls. A dress can fit a little more even when the number stays the same on your home scale.
This is why it's a good tool. Visual. Tactile. And...a non-scale measure. Worth the investment. Motivation for less than 100 bucks. You can't get a life coach for that.
If you aren't already in a challenge and want some motivation-mojo to get through (most) of the year, go read the rules (see previous link for challenge blog) and see if it's the kind of challenge you CAN do and WILL do and are ready to do.
The blogroll on the right sidebar of the challenge blog is the roster of ladies already IN the ready-to-self-challenge for 14 weeks come September 11. View it here.
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Slimmer This Summer Finale Update --progress made, review of goals, eyes on next challenge...
I began the challenge at 195.0 lbs.
I end it at 183.0 pounds.
I was happy to end on a nice round number with my weigh-in today. I originally planned to do the update on Sunday to get the most time to lose ....but I like round numbers. :)
Pounds lost: 12
Original goal: To lose 18. Missed it by 6. Still happy with progress.
Waist: I started with 37 inches. Wanted to make 35, but not sure if it was possible for me (my waist is resistant, but I hoped). Maybe if I had made it to 18 lbs off. But I only made it to 36 inches. However, if I pull the tape nicely snug, I make it to 35. Hah, loose skin!
I exercised consistently, though I did not meet goals perfectly.
I completed the goal to try a minimum of 2 new exercises: I swam. I did aqua-exercises. I played catch and frisbee. I did video-game dancing at the Supercon. I did rave-dancing at the Supercon. I used a kettlebell for the first time.
I think I only missed fluids level 1 , maybe 2 days. I did well with that. DDDY habit got entrenched.
I prayed for the contestants, though I will admit, not daily-daily. I missed some days.
I offered support via comments and email and on my blog. I hope it helped.
I went over my caloric levels more than I care to admit. I'd say at least 3 weeks' worth of days n 3 months had me surpass the 1400 limit. I did not binge, though. I never went over 2000 calories. I resisted a hella lot of temptation!
I missed the updates a couple times (time ran out on me when I went to check). I missed a couple weeks due to death in the family. But I hung in there.
I DID NOT QUIT!
For me, while I was quite imperfect, I was not a total wash-out. I made good progress. I lost 2/3rd of my desired loss and made a 50% progress on waist measurement reduction. During the challenge, I "resolved" my prediabetes and got off blood pressure meds.
I consider this a successful challenge for myself.
I'm glad Debbie and I organized this and stuck it through. I hope the participants got something good out of it. If you made it all the way through the 12 weeks, congrats. Proud of you for NOT QUITTING. I hope you're happy with the results.
My next challenge starts September 11 (eeeeek, dire date, but hey, that's how it is). It's two weeks longer than Slimmer this Summer. If you finished StS and want to join the Christmas Dress Countdown, then please visit http://xmasdress.blogspot.com and read the rules. See if it suits your needs / personality. I know I get motivated by challenges. One doesn't have to be perfect to make progress. This update is proof.
Okay, happy rest of summer, folks. Let's keep pushing toward our goals!
Be well...
I end it at 183.0 pounds.
I was happy to end on a nice round number with my weigh-in today. I originally planned to do the update on Sunday to get the most time to lose ....but I like round numbers. :)
Pounds lost: 12
Original goal: To lose 18. Missed it by 6. Still happy with progress.
Waist: I started with 37 inches. Wanted to make 35, but not sure if it was possible for me (my waist is resistant, but I hoped). Maybe if I had made it to 18 lbs off. But I only made it to 36 inches. However, if I pull the tape nicely snug, I make it to 35. Hah, loose skin!
I exercised consistently, though I did not meet goals perfectly.
I completed the goal to try a minimum of 2 new exercises: I swam. I did aqua-exercises. I played catch and frisbee. I did video-game dancing at the Supercon. I did rave-dancing at the Supercon. I used a kettlebell for the first time.
I think I only missed fluids level 1 , maybe 2 days. I did well with that. DDDY habit got entrenched.
I prayed for the contestants, though I will admit, not daily-daily. I missed some days.
I offered support via comments and email and on my blog. I hope it helped.
I went over my caloric levels more than I care to admit. I'd say at least 3 weeks' worth of days n 3 months had me surpass the 1400 limit. I did not binge, though. I never went over 2000 calories. I resisted a hella lot of temptation!
I missed the updates a couple times (time ran out on me when I went to check). I missed a couple weeks due to death in the family. But I hung in there.
I DID NOT QUIT!
For me, while I was quite imperfect, I was not a total wash-out. I made good progress. I lost 2/3rd of my desired loss and made a 50% progress on waist measurement reduction. During the challenge, I "resolved" my prediabetes and got off blood pressure meds.
I consider this a successful challenge for myself.
I'm glad Debbie and I organized this and stuck it through. I hope the participants got something good out of it. If you made it all the way through the 12 weeks, congrats. Proud of you for NOT QUITTING. I hope you're happy with the results.
My next challenge starts September 11 (eeeeek, dire date, but hey, that's how it is). It's two weeks longer than Slimmer this Summer. If you finished StS and want to join the Christmas Dress Countdown, then please visit http://xmasdress.blogspot.com and read the rules. See if it suits your needs / personality. I know I get motivated by challenges. One doesn't have to be perfect to make progress. This update is proof.
Okay, happy rest of summer, folks. Let's keep pushing toward our goals!
Be well...
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