Scale Pic and Forming Goals for 2013, and some advice for the Big Gals (and Guys) out There New To Blogging for Weight Loss

Here is what I saw on Tanita-San today after I woke up, peed, and stumbled to the back room where I keep the scale:

Christmas red on toes, lower number on scale.

I hopped on the scale a few times, which I always do to confirm the number. You can see the same number came up twice: 181.4 .

It was 183.2 yesterday (see previous post), so the excess fluid from my holiday salty foods frenzy is...flowing out.

This puts me at a total loss of 118 pounds. Not my lowest number. Still out of the obese range, yay. 

I don't like being in the 180s again. Not at all. My plan last year when I decided to move into MAINTENANCE had been to maintain in the 170s. Anywhere in the 170s, but preferably in the middle to lower ranges, sure. Just THAT weight "decade."

 So, immediate goal is to get back into the 170s. Healthfully. With good nutrition. No crash diets. I don't care if it's slow. I don't want to end up with micronutrient deficiencies which impact a lot of my health issues.

Ultimate goal for this season (ie period from January to end of March) is to rebuild muscle, get back walking habit (at least 3x a week) and get to 171. That's 10 pounds.

I will add that losing 10 pounds is not easy for me. It's easier when one is big-big, though even for big me, losing 1 to 2 pounds a week required quite a lot of discipline. I was the laggard in Allan's challenges (though I stuck out the ones I joined to the end). So, 3.3 pounds a month --or roughly under 1 pound a week--is going to mean I have to focus a lot on my calories. Watching, adding, monitoring, curtailing. And burning some off. Though I find consumption matters more than exertion. What I eat affects the scale the most.

Exercise, though, affects how I feel and how my clothes fit. I see more muffin top with my abdominal and back muscle depleted. I hate that. But keeping muscle takes work, just as building it takes work. It doesn't happen by wishing.

The sad truth about weight for those of us who were formerly obese/morbidly obese/severely morbidly obese/super-obese is that weight comes back at alarming speed and goes down with reluctance.

Granted, some folks hold tons of water and those first weeks on a diet make for a beautifully satisfying whoosh of 7 or 10 or more pounds. Not me. I am not that level of water-hoarder. But that's mostly fluid, and the business of burning fat is always harder. And the closer to goal weights we get, that much harder. Sometimes, maddeningly hard.

I'm here to tell you maintenance is tough. I've seen a host of blogging pals drop out of sight when they couldn't keep the weight off. I don't wanna do that. I want to say, here I am, with some regain, aiming to stop it and get back in maintenance range.

A bit of advice from someone with a near-lifelong weight struggle who used blogging and online aids to finally make progress (and I hit 303 lbs on my doc's scale in 2004, for reference):

If you're  big or very big and starting on your weight loss journey this year, please be accountable on your blog. BE ACCOUNTABLE. It's the main reason I began THIS blog, stopped the old one, and focused on goals and numbers and photos and self-examination and challenges. 

Accountability means you put it out there and try to figure out how to solve the problems. It's hard. It's often embarrassing . 

(See my Phat Pilates pics--click on tab link under the blog header-- if you want to see EMBARRASSING! It was really hard for me to post those when I was huge-huge and clumsy and sweaty in tight clothes and messed up hair.)

Don't use the blog just to wax eloquently or awkwardly about your ordinary life stuff. That won't cut it. That won't help you. 

Make specific goals. DAILY GOALS. WEEKLY GOALS. MONTHLY GOALS. SEASONAL GOALS. ANNUAL GOALS.  Let the community know if you met goals or failed to meet them. Examine why you can't make a breakthrough. Read. Study. Introspect. Ask folks to kick you in the butt when you grow lax. Support others as a way to support yourself, too. Sometimes, reading others doing the same things you are --good or bad--has a wonderfully motivating effect.

But weigh and plug those numbers in. Put them out there. Defuse them and make them just measures. MEASURES of lack of or wonderful progress. Don't expect 4 pounds a week (unless you're male and huge or female and huge and really active). Just make reasonable, attainable goals and, if you do not quit, if you persist, you will see progress.

One pound a week is 52 pounds a year In two years, that's 104 pounds.
One-half pound a week is 26 pounds a year, 52 pounds in two years.
Two pounds a week is 104  pounds in one year, 208 in two.

Consistency is the key. You can lose 26, regain 30. You can lose 80, regain 50. You can lose 200, regain 200.

What you want, and what I want, is to lose and keep it off.

The odds of success are slight. Google it. Very few keep off large amounts of lost weight.

So, focusing on the quickie crash diet that gets off 10 pounds in 2 weeks will leave you nowhere if you gain it back, and odds are you WILL regain it.

You have to learn what you like and what is nutritious and what contains your large appetite or urges to snack unhealthfully. You have to figure out what works for your body and, if present, medical conditions. You may need to see a dietitian. Or a doctor. You should read and educate yourself. You should visit blogs of folks who lost weight and KEPT it off for a year plus. The ones keeping it off 5 years plus. They have learned something.

VICTORY in 2013!

Find a buddy. Keep a journal (or a blog journal). Be honest. Don't run away and hide when it's tough. Find people who won't stop telling you to keep at it. Join challenges with kind people who believe in TOUGH LOVE, ie. they don't clap at your failings or enable you, but they do offer a hand when you need to get back up and walk on. Flabby love lets you get away with anything, buys lame excuses. REAL love wants the best for you and will speak firmly to you, refusing to allow you to wallow and not make progress. Real love says, "Stop that. It's hurting you!"

Always choose what helps, not just what feels good. What helps. What profits. What is good. What builds you up on your journey. Choose that.

It's gonna be hard. But it's worth it in so many ways to try and try with a fully committed spirit and heart and mind.

Really, you don't have to get skinny. You just have to get OUT of obesity--being overweight may not be as bad as previously thought, though being obese is still a bad thing-- and get stronger which will be useful in daily activities and protective of health as you and I age. And keep learning. Believe you have the power to do it. Every day, tell yourself you are ABLE.

AND NEVER QUIT.

Happy Thursday. The third day of a new year. Be well...

Day 51 of Phase 5: The Five Books I'd Recommend To An Obese Person Wanting to Lose Weight (the ones that helped ME, so yeah, subjective); Linking to a Book Review Good for Dieter and Maintainers; My New ASICS Onitsuka Tiger Footwear; And Accepting I Can't Multi-Task! :-/

No scale today. I had to rush out of bed and throw on panties and clothes to answer the door--and then talk numbers with a lawn care dude. And then had breakfast. And forgot. And i don't do weighing after I drink or eat anything..uh-uh. Naked and empty is how I do it.

Okay, since I talked yesterday (after my rant, hahhaah) about what advice I'd give to someone wanting to start a weight loss journey and I specified what I'd put in a weight-loss-encouragment gift basket, today I'm gonna list (prolly not for the first time) the FIVE BOOKS that I'd recommend, cause they helped me 1. reach epiphanies and 2. learn strategies that my (formerly) morbidly obese butt needed to implement. And my (currently) obese butt needs to keep implementing.

Here's the list. I think in future, I will do posts that go more in depth about what I valued in each book. For now, you can google up or amazon up reviews and comments about them.

They are in no particular order other than the first one, which is THE epiphany provoking one par excellence of the bunch for moi:

1. THE END OF OVEREATING by David Kessler
--Helped me understand why I had insane, junkie-like cravings to eat insane quantities of food until I was in pain from the fullness; why I binged; why I couldn't stay on a diet; why chain restaurants and fast food joints become addictive; why I was a food freak. Opened my eyes to one major aspect (not comprehensive, but essential) to why I overate. And how to stop it. And I stopped it.  Lots of science stuff, but once you are in it for a couple of chapters, it hooks ya.  NOTE: It's on sale RIGHT NOW at amazon.com as a "bargain book" for less than 6 bucks. If you want it. :)

2. WHY WE GET FAT by Gary Taubes
-- For many of us (maybe most in Industrialized countries, especially, that do not require morning to noon hard physical labor), yes, it's the carbs. Miles more accessible and readable than his previous one (which was great and an eye-opener for me, but I didn't epiphanize like with this one). Lots of science stuff (but not as densely so as the previous).

3. SWITCH: How to Change When change is Hard by Chip Heath
--Basically, a nice overview of techniques and studies on HOW to change. Since I wanted help with changing how I ate, I figured it was worth looking at non-diet books that related just to...well..CHANGE. How to do it. Here it is.

4. BEATING  OVEREATING: The Easy Guide by Gillian Riley
--If you've ever felt you were addicted to food, then Riley is on your side with techniques on how to beat that addiction. If you use these tools, they work. If you USE them...they work.

5. REFUSE TO REGAIN by Dr. Barbara Berkeley
--Bought this cause I plan to be a maintainer. :) Hopefully by Christmas. :D Turns out it's not just great for those who lost their excess adipose tissue, but for those who are losing it, too. Even if you've only lose 1/10th of what you need to lose, you don't want to REGAIN, right? :)

So, for the fat and the formerly fat, here is a great book by a doc with a practice that seeks to help folks lose and keep the fat off. It's accessible and chock-a-block with well-organized tips.

She takes the Primarian dietary approach (which coincidentally is what my registered dietitian came up with--not that she knew that until I told her--when I handed her the DDDY Challenge menu packet and said, "Adapt this to my medical conditions, please, and make it so I can stay at or under 1200 calories." She did that, and it ended up virtually identical to what Dr. Berkeley recommends.) Primarian is like a modification of Paleo or Primal (meaning she allows some dairy and artificial sweeteners/treats). You can find the link to her blog on my blogroll, where it's been featured since last year. :) She's also on Facebook.

I mentioned REFUSE TO REGAIN last not out of least honorable or useful, but to segue into this link to Sunshine's Heart blog, where Karen, the lovely blog owner of said blog, a very kind and supportive weight loss blogger who used to be in the DDDY and is now in maintenance mode (hooray) is reading, reviewing, and raving about the book.

If you are one of the fortunate MAINTAINERS, you might want to also look at this one: JOINING THE THIN CLUB: Tips for Toning Your Mind After You've Trimmed Your Body.

And if you have issues thinking of interesting meals to cook or for meals on the go while still staying at 1200 to 1600 calories for the purpose of losing OR maintaining, I also recommend:

1. The 400 Calorie Fix (what a neat book! Much nicer than the other X00-calorie types books I've seen).
2. Cook This Not That

Lots of great photos. Easy recipes. Ideas for eating out. All good, right?

Well, I hope this was helpful. If you've read or reviewed a book that changed your weight loss journey for the better, caused an epiphany for you about your relationship to food, or got you moving and cooking healthfully, please post a link to your review to it. Or just leave a comment as to the title and how it helped. THANKS.

Oh, and here's pic of my newest footwear. I am now an ASICS fanatic and in the last few months have acquired 4 pairs. Three are pricier running/multi-purpose ones that I needed for the challenge exercise portion. These are for general fun use, errands, outdoor fests--things where I wanted a jazzier pop of color and didn't need as much stability /motion control and padding. So comfy. Light as clouds. And RED. Me love red footwear!!!!

My Onitsuka Tiger (yes, Japanese name and the box had Japanese lettering!) babies:

Um...I need no-show socks, yes?

Now, I need to go do many things I've been NOT doing. (I really need to finish that book on Procrastination, as that vice/flaw/bad habit is still on my "to conquer" list.) I seem to only be able to focus on two major things at once. With the diet and exercise, decluttering my closets, judging the contest entries, and catching up on reading...many, many other things are falling into disarray and disorganization on a massive scale. Cleaning, decluttering books, editing online at the magazine I volunteer for, bills??? I'm so bad. Off I go to deal...

Happy Tuesday, people! Be well...

Day 50 of Phase 5: Where I Rant About My Defective Body and Early Envy of the Healthy, and Where I Progress to Make Peace and Vow to Good Stewardship of This Temple...and Where I Answer My Own Question about 3 Tips and Gift Basket For Obese Loved Ones/Friends Wanting to Lose Weight...

No scale today.

Asthma is acting up (yes, it began with 2 weeks of stuffier and stuffier nose and allergies and rashes, and now the spring pollen and mold assault has encroached on the bronchii). Pilates was tough, but we kept the pace slow enough that I didn't go into all-out attack. Sucks. But..hey, as long as I can breathe and am alive, I should not kvetch too much.

I think the reason it bothers me is that I exercise, eat beautifully, try to sleep restfully, de-stress my life as much as is possible without being comatose, don't abuse cigarettes, alcohol, drugs or sex. Do what I'm supposed to. But I can't do squat about what is genetically wrong with me.

It vexes me, yes, that this is out of my control. I was born defective; I'll die defective. I'll never EVER EVER know what it feels like to be a really healthy person.

Even as a kid, I was so envious it would drive me to near suicide that other kids could run and didn't have to carry wads of tissues in their pockets and bookbags, which inevitably ran out by lunchtime. Other kids didn't have to make sure they had pockets or purses to carry medicines and hankies. Other kids didn't have to worry when weather or seasonal changes came on. Other kids didn't have to routinely get shot up or hospitalized. Other kids didn't suffer debilitating depressions from age 8 on...though I didn't realize what it was until years and years later, when I understood wanting to kill yourself at age 8 and feeling blue as bruises periodically, in cycles,  for no reason is not  normal.

It pissed me off royally.

And in my teens and twenties and on, I'd get so angry at people who had vibrant health, who didn't worry that they could or could not breathe if they walked too fast or went past someone with strong perfume. Didn't have to sit somewhere else in church to avoid getting sick from residual smoke on a man's suit jacket of too much cologne on a woman's neck.

And when I was in the work force, worrying I'd be fired cause when my lungs took ill, I'd be out 2 weeks minimum at a stretch and have to bring in medical certification that I wasn't malingering. That I couldn't go camping with relatives. And on and on.

I used to tell healthy folks, who'd wake up and not have to give a care about what item they ate or what meds were in their pockets or what environment they had to avoid or how it was a fine day to just up and run around as much as they wished--don't take it for granted. I'd say that exactly: "you're blessed...don't take it for granted. That you can live without worrying if you'll suddenly seize up and not breathe...you're blessed."

It made me teeth-grinding furious when people with beautiful faces/bodies and profound health and excellently level moods sans depressive episodes did asinine crap like drunken binges, drug experimentation, promiscuous sex, , etc. How could my friends, these blessed ones, with clear skin, good eyes, fabulous health....risk damaging such a gift with quaaludes or coke or boozefests or one night stands or silly chicken-car-racing....

And there I was...envious and head-shakingly shocked they never understood what they had.....what a treasure.

So, I think part of my self-loathing and disdain of my body--which allowed me to get obese and not much care for ages about doing much about it--came from not being able to trust it. My eyes were bad (glasses at age 12). My skin was bad (rashes, eczema, then acne). My teeth were bad (stained from all those antibiotics in the tooth-formative years). My ankle was bad (severe fracture at age 5). And most of all, my immune system and respiratory system were bad.  My body was not trustworthy, and then I came to hate its weird shape (that was not gracefully feminine like my other sisters, who have different types from paternal side of family).

I am starting to make peace with my defective body. I want to take care of it, nurture it, make it more functional and attractive (though it's got so much irreversible damage, the level I can get to will never be..well...socially lauded). I want to stop damaging and hating it for being an enemy to me in so many ways since infancy. I remind myself it's also been a friend, allowing me to see, no matter how imperfectly, a beautiful world and the faces of the people I love. I can hear. I can walk. I can taste food. I can sing and feel the pleasure of it. I can dream. I can create.

It's nice to have a body.

Until the resurrection...I won't know what it's like to have a body that's completely free of...illnesses. Of defects. BUT....it's still entrusted to me, and though it's late in life, I am going to be a better steward.

Every Christian who deforms their body with overeating, drugs, self-mutilation, etc--that person is violating the good stewardship that God expects for all his gifts. Life and our bodies...like the Earth, is a gift, and we should take care of it. The body is, says the Word, a temple...the temple of God, each of us, individually. If I mistreat it, if I abuse it, God is not pleased.

I want God to be pleased with what I do with regard to my flesh...not just my spirit or mind or soul. I need to work on all of it. :)

Anyway, I had asked my lovely bloggy readers to respond to a question. Read it here in this post if you missed it. The comments were great. Very smart. Very useful. Read them if you are new to dieting/weight loss/fatfighting, and you want to get advice just on how to GET STARTED, get going, toward some success.

And here is how I'd respond:

Question One: 3 Tips for Getting Started
1. COMMIT FULLY AND WHOLEHEARTEDLY:  Commit to the reality and accept the tough but inevitable idea that you WILL HAVE TO GIVE STUFF UP. You will HAVE TO SACRIFICE SOME DEGREE, LARGE AND SMALL, OF FOOD RELATED PLEASURES AND COMFORTS FOR LIFE. It's not a temporary thing. A short-term fix. It's for life. Grasp that idea before embarking on the journey, then begin it with small steps that lead into the bigger steps (and everyone with half a brain knows the steps--eat less, move more, eat cleaner and more sound food, not junk and sugar and crap). But first, make the DECISION...or do what it takes to come to grasp that reality. That's numero uno.

2. BELIEVE FULLY and do what it takes to keep believing: If that means you have to scream affirmations into the morning wind, then do it. If it means tattooing "I Can Do It!"  onto your right forearm: do it. If it means leaving sticky notes all over to encourage you day and night. Do it. You will not keep moving past obstacles and temptations if you do not BELIEVE that you are capable of losing the weight, gaining the muscle, eating less, overcoming emotional eating, overcoming stress eating. BELIEVE YOU CAN DO THIS. Read blogs of successful losers/maintainers until you see yourself in their story. Read books of successful dieters. Read books of successful ANYTHING questers--mountain climbers, around-the-world sailors. DO WHAT IT TAKES TO KEEP FAITH AND HOPE ALIVE. Start a blog Join a challenge. Do not, not notnotnotnotnotnotnot lose faith in your ability. 

3. TRACK TO CALORIC LIMIT, THEN STOP EATING: Until you get to goal weight, choose a sane caloric level that will help you lose (and make it a lot less than what got you where you are) and track your food to stay within that level. Every morsel. Use a notepad. Use a computer. Use Sparkpeople. Use FitDay. Use whatever. But use something to account for points/calories. Naturally, then you stop eating when you reach your limit. PEOPLE LIE TO THEMSELVES. If you don't track every bite and spoonful and ounce (and a correlative of tracking is you must measure to know what to log/track), you will tell yourself "I didn't eat that much." Yes, you did. You got fat eating that much. I got fat eating THAT much. Don't lie. Track. It will open your eyes. And the online ones help you track nutrientes, so you know where you fall short (magnesium, iron, etc). And it will be stark evidence that you lean maybe (ahem, most likely, definitely) to unbalanced eating--too little protein, too many carbs, too much salt, not enough fiber,  etc.

If I had more tips to give, I'd move into actual nutrition and exercise tips and stuff. But I am strongly of the mind that if we commit, believe, and track...things will start to happen. Eyes will open. Hearts will fill up with faith.

Now, a gift basket, with at least 3 (or only 3) items to help folks who are morbidly obese on their journey.

I'd include:

1. THE END OF OVEREATING book
2. A printed list of online food trackers, youtube exercise videos, and weight loss sites/blogs with a note about how each can help.
3. A gift certificate for one pair of good walking shoes

If I was going to include more items, maybe a grocery list of "healthful diet staples" with a gift certificate to a farmer's market. Or a book of dieter's affirmations. Or more books I value. Or some good whey protein and recipes for breakfast smoothies. Or toning balls and resistance bands. Or exercise DVDs. Or a free pass for a week at a gym. Or a prepaid appt with a dietitian.

That's what I'd give if I was limited to 3, though. :)

Anyway, if you know someone who needs to and wants to get started, but just feels lost about how to get going...do read those comments and pass along this blog entry. Maybe this is what they need to see/read/do.

I have to go work on some fiction judging...see you guys tomorrow...be well...

Face the Truth Friday: 54 pounds down, waiting for those DNA results, still wheezy, still motivated, but more cravings this week...and begging the Young and the Fat to face their truths ASAP!

245.0

That's 54 pounds down from my highest (without clothes, at home) back in 2004. My highest at my primary care doc's office was 303, with shoes, clothes, some water intake. So, I think my scale at home was pretty accurate.

I weighed 267 on the first day of January of this year, so 22 lbs lost so far this year. My best year's lost since, well, years. 

The truth I'm facing: It finally feels like it's my time to do this weight loss thing. I know, all dieters have done this over and over and over, especially if you've been overweight since your twenties and are now looking at AARP age just ahead. But I've never felt calmer and less fumbling and uneasy eating less. I've never felt less binge-prone.

That's not to say it's easy. When craving hit--and they have this week--it's a battle. The battle is shorter than in times past. I am succeeding more in saying no to myself than in times past. But it's still a hard thing. I am a bit worried about the bounty of Thanksgiving dinner, but I just say to myself, I'll cope. I'll manage. I'll get it done. And it doesn't feel like some big fat lie. I feel as if it's possible. :)

What cravings? Chocolate. Last night I wanted it bad, and no, I didn't want high protein chocolate shakes or puddings. I wanted chocolate. So, I had a few sugar-free chocolate covered almonds (don't affect blood sugar to set up more cravings, and I saw more than one comment from those in ketosis--which I'm not--who ate these and stayed in ketosis). It was hard to stop at half a serving (and as you may guess, a serving of anything with nuts is miniscule), but I did. Earlier in the week I was having crazy pizza cravings. I got the stuff to make it at home, but the craving passed (for now).  I also get frequent cravings for salty chips and salsa. Sometmes, I can cure that with a high protein salty snack. Sometimes, I just have to wait it out. 

And I keep noticing that on my SparkPeople Nutrition tracker, I show greater losses on the morning after days when I eat high-fat, lower carb, normal protein. I don't know if that's a function of water loss from the lower carb (and I notice this even if my salt intake is higher and calorie level is unchanged from the norm on this challenge) or that my body handles that combination better due to Metabolic Syndrome (I have a book by an endocrinologist I got in the 90's when I was diagnosed with Syndrome X, now called Metabolic Syndrome, that recommends a higher fat diet). 

I am still waiting for the results of my DNA test for optimal 'diet type' for my body. Another week or two, I guess. I am eager to see how it jives with what I'm seeing (ie, I do better on lower carb, higher fat, middling to higher protein).

I will say to those younger fatties out there: Get it done. Read the books. Drink the water. Follow the blogs. See a cognitive therapist. Join a group. Write a journal. Start a blog. Sign up with a trainer. Do whatever it takes to get it off while you are young and your flesh is elastic and you can develop good eating habits for life. Do it NOW. If you procrastinate like I have, you will regret it. I promise you: YOU WILL REGRET IT.

Your metabolism when you're young, your energy, your joint health...all that helps. If you let yourself stay fat you will damage a lot of stuff and that damage will not go away: skin will not return to snugness, knees will not regenerate, arteries may or may not unclog, liver may or may not heal.

Do it now. Face that truth today. However you must do it, do it aggressively before you hit middle age or old age. It only gets HARDER with age and entrenched habits.  Save your own life.