Tanita-San: 178.8
Last Week: 178.8
I am suffering a mild depression. It has been coming on slowly, and I can at least be grateful that it's a lesser mood affect than I was used to in the past in my cyclical depressions. The lack of focus, motivation and anxiety have been waxing. And this past week, I pretty much just wanted to lie about like a slug. Just getting up and grooming took focus. Anxiety and worried thoughts were prevalent.
So, yeah, ain't this fun?
I held on some, though, as the numbers show. I maintained.
When I'm depressed, I crave carby comfort foods. And so visions of pizza and lasagna and cake and bread with butter danced in my head. I didn't have any of that. I did allow myself more "safer" carbs--rice, black beans, lentils. I had soup more often, as that's one way to get a comfort food without too many calories or damage. I ate a ton of fruit (which is not necessarily a good thing for folks who have battled I.R/prediabetes, but when sweet cravings hit, it's the safest). I had one day when I caved--a totally spontaneous fit of food berserkness--and had 8 cherries dipped in chocolate. I was on my way home, saw a gourmet fresh-made chocolate shop (I rerouted due to traffic) and bam, parked, bought, took home, split 4 with breakfast and 4 with dinner and felt really stupid and weak.
I only exercised 2 hours this past week, both with my Pilates trainer. And it was tough, as the asthma acted up a bit in allergy season. The rains came and the blooming and pollens with it, I guess. May be part of the mood trigger? Who knows.
Joints are achey (rain, rain).
So, yeah, I'm feeling pretty FLAT.
I'm happy I held on and didn't gain, cause damn, every pizza commercial on tv sent me into wrassling with cravings.
I still feel like doing NOT ONE DAMN THING. The rains (and bloompoof) is keeping me mostly indoors.
I feel like laying in bed all weekend. I didn't shower today (Sunday).
So, this week, pretty much, I'm hanging on. The mood issue will work its way out. I just have to hang on.
(Well, I hope it's a short, minimal episode. These usually do in a matter of weeks or months, and if it's a lower level mood issue, it can pass pretty quickly. Only once lasted 4 years and medications prescribed--though not taken out of fear of side effects--um, well, that was a bad spell post mom's death).
The apathy sucks. I just feel very flat and like I don't give a damn with 80% of me, and 20% is trying like mad in my brain to get me moving and taking in fluid like normal. It takes such effort. Sigh.
It's a not-great time, but I refuse to lose hope. My body has been a trial to me since I was born, and some decades, its defects won. I'm determined not to let these defects keep winning.
Um, again, sorry to be a crap example. No inspiration here today. Just a woman feeling weak and working to keep going when it's not so great in the emo department.
But you see, I haven't given up. :D
I am loathe to set goals. Pretty much not motivated to. BUT...I will: I will not regain. I will not give into candy and carby cravings for junk. I will make the effort to do some movement DAILY: any movement for at least 15 minutes, DAILY. Something!
Maren, apologies for missing the mini-challenge. I guess I'll add it to this week's. :D
Be well in this new week, everyone!
Showing posts with label asthma/allergies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label asthma/allergies. Show all posts
Sunday, May 20, 2012
Friday, August 19, 2011
Perspective on the asthma/allergy (or why I need to NOT whine)...Better Breathing, Better Journaling, Crap Scale....but it will move. I keep the faith...Baggy "goal shorts" pic and naked mirror time motivation (no pic--ever!)..and how much hubby can eat (but I can't)...plus joy comes in the morning (afternoon, evening) with a Charlie Brown Praise Break...
Yesterday ended up better than it began. By my evening walk, I could up the pace. Breathing was nearly normal but nasal congestion, while improved, remained.
Make me wonder if the Pilates session did the respiratory good.
I will note that, so far, this summer has been MILES better than a couple decades worth of summers. I didn't need to cancel a whole month of exercise sessions. I didn't need nasal cauterization. I didn't rely on Nasonex (which I quit taking after the March onslaught, and usually start up again before August, to ready myself). I'm much less affected. I just got used to feeling GREAT on the non-crazy-allergy months, so I expect to feel and breathe great. The impediment this month, while frustrating, is nothing compared to summers past. Even the trainer commented on my improvement over the past 3 summers she's worked with me. Well, it's true. :)
I need to keep perspective. I am a whole, whole lot better. I am not dripping gobs of snot or needing to see an ENT or longing for Prednisone to put me out of my misery. :)
It's amazing to me after having years of being a "respiratory cripple", as I tagged it in the early 90s, when walking to the bathroom was enough to wind me, when I became often housebound, when I would have 6+ bronchitis episodes a year.
This is so much better. I guess I wanted to skip the bad altogether. To get a reprieve.
And I did. This is a reprieve. I will be thankful and not whine. :)
Today, to keep the motivation up, I spent some time in front of the mirror stark naked. And you know, I didn't mind it so much. I knelt on the bed and looked in the dresser mirror and thought, "Wow, if I hadn't gotten morbidly obese and had still done Pilates, my body would be amazing..." and then I thought, "But for an old dame who did wreck her body for 2+ decades, it's not bad. I kinda like that woman there."
My body would terrify a Hollywood starlet and it probably would disgust the shallow types who only see beauty in the perfect smooth slenderness of magazines...but me, I looked and thought, 'Yeah. I want to keep this. I don't wanna go back."
Hanging skin and droopy boobies and rippled butt and all, I had a woman's curves and some muscle and lean cool looking legs. This is my motivation today. To keep this and to do even better...to not lose what the hard war has won me.
I stayed in my challenge calorie counts yesterday. I exercised 75 minutes altogether. I drank all my fluids. I stayed away from starches. And while the scale didn't move down, I feel like I'm starting to get a grip again from the slippery slope. (fingers crossed) Onward...I don't lose heart or faith.
And to commemorate the re-commitment to MY own transformation today, a pic of me fitting into an old pair of "goal shorts". White shorts. With a white tank. I haven't worn white in..in..I can't remember. Fat people tend to avoid light colors. Well, this fat woman did. But here I am, all in white. These shorts are XL. I bought them back when I was 4x. They didn't go over my hips then. They do now--with room to spare:
My plate again has room to spare, too. Back to reining things in and not letting portion creep get me.
I wish I could eat like hubby and be on the verge of underweight like he is. Sigh. Men. So lucky. Can eat more than we do! Here's the "lunch and snacks" I packed last night for hubby --not including the breakfast I pre-made for him to nuke or the apple and banana he takes in his work-bag for his extra fruit snacks or the Larabar and nuts he keeps at his desk for emergency hunger:
Today's lunch part 1: grilled chicken breast with 1/2 cup Mexican rice and a spinach mozzarella salad
Lunch part 2: sirloin burger with cheddar, asparagus, mashed potatoes (real butter and cream)
Snack: Beanitos with salsa, cottage cheese with strawberries and cantaloupe, dark chocolate square.
Not showing: nuts, apple, banana, Larabar
Yes. That's his "lunch bag" contents. And he's on the border of underweight. (He lost 60 or so pounds altogether, half this year when he did the Primal experiment. Experiment cancelled. He dropped so much weight, I had to put starches back in the diet in the form of rice and potatoes, with the occasional legume (peas, those Beanitos now and then). He was turning into pure bones. Starch is fattening, so there you go. Eat the starches, keep from losing too much.
So, for you men who want to drop fat like mad, go Paleo/Primal. Hubby literally had to eat ALL DAY, snack ALL DAY, eat multi-meals to just keep weight on...and still got bony.
Grrrrr. This is so unfair. I want to eat all day long, too! hahahahahah
And for those, like me, who won't be reaching certain goals by Slimmer This Summer Challenge's end, don't ever give up and repeat this quote I got from Anne today:
Anyway, be good to yourself with healthy foods and movement and be very, very happy today! It's your day for JOY!
And for believers out there having a hard time, going through the dark night of temptations and sorrow, this one's for YOU!
AMEN!
Make me wonder if the Pilates session did the respiratory good.
I will note that, so far, this summer has been MILES better than a couple decades worth of summers. I didn't need to cancel a whole month of exercise sessions. I didn't need nasal cauterization. I didn't rely on Nasonex (which I quit taking after the March onslaught, and usually start up again before August, to ready myself). I'm much less affected. I just got used to feeling GREAT on the non-crazy-allergy months, so I expect to feel and breathe great. The impediment this month, while frustrating, is nothing compared to summers past. Even the trainer commented on my improvement over the past 3 summers she's worked with me. Well, it's true. :)
I need to keep perspective. I am a whole, whole lot better. I am not dripping gobs of snot or needing to see an ENT or longing for Prednisone to put me out of my misery. :)
It's amazing to me after having years of being a "respiratory cripple", as I tagged it in the early 90s, when walking to the bathroom was enough to wind me, when I became often housebound, when I would have 6+ bronchitis episodes a year.
This is so much better. I guess I wanted to skip the bad altogether. To get a reprieve.
And I did. This is a reprieve. I will be thankful and not whine. :)
Today, to keep the motivation up, I spent some time in front of the mirror stark naked. And you know, I didn't mind it so much. I knelt on the bed and looked in the dresser mirror and thought, "Wow, if I hadn't gotten morbidly obese and had still done Pilates, my body would be amazing..." and then I thought, "But for an old dame who did wreck her body for 2+ decades, it's not bad. I kinda like that woman there."
My body would terrify a Hollywood starlet and it probably would disgust the shallow types who only see beauty in the perfect smooth slenderness of magazines...but me, I looked and thought, 'Yeah. I want to keep this. I don't wanna go back."
Hanging skin and droopy boobies and rippled butt and all, I had a woman's curves and some muscle and lean cool looking legs. This is my motivation today. To keep this and to do even better...to not lose what the hard war has won me.
I stayed in my challenge calorie counts yesterday. I exercised 75 minutes altogether. I drank all my fluids. I stayed away from starches. And while the scale didn't move down, I feel like I'm starting to get a grip again from the slippery slope. (fingers crossed) Onward...I don't lose heart or faith.
And to commemorate the re-commitment to MY own transformation today, a pic of me fitting into an old pair of "goal shorts". White shorts. With a white tank. I haven't worn white in..in..I can't remember. Fat people tend to avoid light colors. Well, this fat woman did. But here I am, all in white. These shorts are XL. I bought them back when I was 4x. They didn't go over my hips then. They do now--with room to spare:
My plate again has room to spare, too. Back to reining things in and not letting portion creep get me.
I wish I could eat like hubby and be on the verge of underweight like he is. Sigh. Men. So lucky. Can eat more than we do! Here's the "lunch and snacks" I packed last night for hubby --not including the breakfast I pre-made for him to nuke or the apple and banana he takes in his work-bag for his extra fruit snacks or the Larabar and nuts he keeps at his desk for emergency hunger:
 |
| Hubby's lunch for today...with snack..in his EASY LUNCHBOX set, cooler not shown. |
Today's lunch part 1: grilled chicken breast with 1/2 cup Mexican rice and a spinach mozzarella salad
Lunch part 2: sirloin burger with cheddar, asparagus, mashed potatoes (real butter and cream)
Snack: Beanitos with salsa, cottage cheese with strawberries and cantaloupe, dark chocolate square.
Not showing: nuts, apple, banana, Larabar
Yes. That's his "lunch bag" contents. And he's on the border of underweight. (He lost 60 or so pounds altogether, half this year when he did the Primal experiment. Experiment cancelled. He dropped so much weight, I had to put starches back in the diet in the form of rice and potatoes, with the occasional legume (peas, those Beanitos now and then). He was turning into pure bones. Starch is fattening, so there you go. Eat the starches, keep from losing too much.
So, for you men who want to drop fat like mad, go Paleo/Primal. Hubby literally had to eat ALL DAY, snack ALL DAY, eat multi-meals to just keep weight on...and still got bony.
Grrrrr. This is so unfair. I want to eat all day long, too! hahahahahah
And for those, like me, who won't be reaching certain goals by Slimmer This Summer Challenge's end, don't ever give up and repeat this quote I got from Anne today:
“When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached,
don't adjust the goals, adjust the action steps.”
Anyway, be good to yourself with healthy foods and movement and be very, very happy today! It's your day for JOY!
And for believers out there having a hard time, going through the dark night of temptations and sorrow, this one's for YOU!
AMEN!
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Struggling, but My Attitude Sucketh NOT in a week of Roller-Coastering Mood ; )..plus day out with sisters and totally resisted the killer fried food and dessert barrage...but it's asthma-season for me...EASY LUNCHBOXES and planning what you eat..and has anyone tried PURE WRAPS?
I am on increased meds, so excuse the rambliness of major proportions, should it show up. :)
This was an emotional week. A few reasons:
1. Since the weekend, the asthma/allergies have started getting worse. August is a notorious month for me (September, too). A month that often saw me in the emergency room in the past (before I became better controlled with a battery of Rx's), often saw me with bad sinusitis, bronchitis, nosebleeds, visits to docs, steroids,e tc. So, doing Pilates this week has been hard. I've even teared up today in frustration at not being able to breathe deeply or control my breathing. My walks have been at a slower pace (no sprinting or superwalking), because my respiration can't keep up. But I'm trying to stay active.
2, Sunday, the family (sans eldest sis who was visiting with ill relatives and friends) got together. Mood up. Tuesday was the first month marking of my nephew's death. Mood way down. Yesterday was the 13th anniversary of my father's death. Sad. But my sisters and I, and my niece (the one whose brother just died) and grandniece (her papa is the one who died) got together to put flowers at the cemetery and have lunch and talk. This was good. But there were some teary moments. And today is my big brother's (well, the youngest of the 3 big brothers) birthday. Glad he's alive and well (though he's asthmatic/allergic-sufferer, too, so we congest together). Up and down and up and down.
3. Appetite has been higher, no longer superzen. This is a combo of the stress from the breathing, the mood shifts, and who knows, maybe the extra fruits I'd been having since last week. Scale is still higher than my lowest weigh-in, and the lack of adequate sleep is making things worse. Oh, yeah, that does make me hungry, forgot that. Not sleeping. (This is partly the meds, partly the trying to shift to earlier hours.) It will sort out, but it means it's tough to portion meals and it's a struggle.
On the plus side:
~I'm still trying to move at a good level against the breathing odds. Makes me feel...powerful...to not give in. :D
~I'm not focusing constantly on the stressful negatives, but actively focusing on what's good and making "thanksgiving breaks" during the day when I focus on and thank God for the great stuff in my life. I am blessed in so many ways.
~While we ate out yesterday--at Ruby Tuesday's--I had salad bar (1 and a half plates of all the non-starchy veggies plus some egg and a couple tablespoons of the chopped ham for protein. Drank my water, decaf, iced tea. Kin had a fried/butter-drenched extravaganza. And when everyone else had the chocolate lava cake with ice cream and tiramisu, right in FRONT OF MY FACE, I didn't touch a single crumb/spoonful. I just sipped my coffee and averted my eyes when tiramisu flew around. ; )
~Been really tired, tired, tired in the evenings (lack of sleep, adrenal exertions from the meds increase), but still am fixing hubby his three bento boxes' worth of healthy lunches before I go to bed and making sure he has his breakfast stuff--which sometimes means scrambling his eggs ahead of time so he can nuke em warm, or making gluten-free hotcakes (he can have starch, since he's a metabolic burner!) with no-sugar homemade fruit compote, etc. He and I really love the EASY LUNCHBOXES system I got him last week and we started using this week. It's a positive, cause I'm keeping up with NOT caving to crap, even when exhausted. I force myself to the grocery store; I make myself make the lunches. I make sure we have produce galore. Big plus. Big lifestyle change from the gal who just would call for delivery crap when tired.
As far as the EASY LUNCHBOXES: a dream for us. Three boxes fit in the bag, and it zips and is easy to carry. Works great. He gets two meals and one box full of snacks (nuts, Larabar, hummus with carrot sticks, cheese n apple slices, etc.
I won a set from Katie J's blog (thanks, Katie!) and that should arrive soon. This way, we'll each have our own bento system, which is lovely, as when we have to take food for BOTH OF US to avoid temptations when out and about, that will simplify matters. And they have a great page with pics of REAL lunches and ideas. They do need more low-carb, Paleo, Primal, Gluten Free example pics! Maybe I'll snap one these days of hubby's threesome. ; )
No BPA. And though the lids are made for kids to be easy pop open (not Tupperware supertight), I just use rubber bands to secure stuff that might spill and use Press n Seal for when I use cottage cheese/yogurt/mooshy-smooshy-semi-solid--oozey stuff.
I have the bags in olive and aqua, and won a system with a dark red bag. The newest color is the pink, I think, and young girls, as we know, loveth the pink. With my three bags and 8 containers--and they have nice colorful lids--I'm REALLY set. I fill them at night, put the whole bag in the fridge, and hubby just has to grab 'n go in the AM when he's ready to head out for the office. Then he puts the whole bag in the fridge at work. :D EASY!
It's a great TOOL to make sure you think about what to eat and plan for balanced, healthful, non-crap meals. If you're a dieter who works, really, get some sort of brown-bagging or bento system. Makes things easier. And making stuff is as simple as cooking extra at dinner (or lunch or breakfast) and saving it for the next day. And some things I pack are so easy and don't require cooking for hubby: nuts, fruit, cottage cheese, salads with deli meat, etc. If you like yogurt, you can make a whole great snack in one bento, make your main lunch food in another, and not have to give in to office-crap temptations.
Speaking of stuff that makes lunches easier: Anyone try those gluten-free, no soy or assorted weird stuff alternate to regular sandwich wraps, PURE WRAPS? If you have, review it or link me up to your review of it. And where did ya get it? Thanks.
Anyway, if the weather is benevolent--and August/September in Miami is not the most benevolent of times for exercisers being outdoors--I will have my walk and that will make for almost 1.5 hours of exercise for the day. I may not be able to go all-out while I have congestion issues, but I can do something. And so can you!
I wish all my fellow fatfighters well today. If you're struggling like me to get back down the scale and find your full-behemoth mojo again, let's egg each other on. No quitting. Ever!
later, lovelies...
This was an emotional week. A few reasons:
1. Since the weekend, the asthma/allergies have started getting worse. August is a notorious month for me (September, too). A month that often saw me in the emergency room in the past (before I became better controlled with a battery of Rx's), often saw me with bad sinusitis, bronchitis, nosebleeds, visits to docs, steroids,e tc. So, doing Pilates this week has been hard. I've even teared up today in frustration at not being able to breathe deeply or control my breathing. My walks have been at a slower pace (no sprinting or superwalking), because my respiration can't keep up. But I'm trying to stay active.
2, Sunday, the family (sans eldest sis who was visiting with ill relatives and friends) got together. Mood up. Tuesday was the first month marking of my nephew's death. Mood way down. Yesterday was the 13th anniversary of my father's death. Sad. But my sisters and I, and my niece (the one whose brother just died) and grandniece (her papa is the one who died) got together to put flowers at the cemetery and have lunch and talk. This was good. But there were some teary moments. And today is my big brother's (well, the youngest of the 3 big brothers) birthday. Glad he's alive and well (though he's asthmatic/allergic-sufferer, too, so we congest together). Up and down and up and down.
3. Appetite has been higher, no longer superzen. This is a combo of the stress from the breathing, the mood shifts, and who knows, maybe the extra fruits I'd been having since last week. Scale is still higher than my lowest weigh-in, and the lack of adequate sleep is making things worse. Oh, yeah, that does make me hungry, forgot that. Not sleeping. (This is partly the meds, partly the trying to shift to earlier hours.) It will sort out, but it means it's tough to portion meals and it's a struggle.
On the plus side:
~I'm still trying to move at a good level against the breathing odds. Makes me feel...powerful...to not give in. :D
~I'm not focusing constantly on the stressful negatives, but actively focusing on what's good and making "thanksgiving breaks" during the day when I focus on and thank God for the great stuff in my life. I am blessed in so many ways.
~While we ate out yesterday--at Ruby Tuesday's--I had salad bar (1 and a half plates of all the non-starchy veggies plus some egg and a couple tablespoons of the chopped ham for protein. Drank my water, decaf, iced tea. Kin had a fried/butter-drenched extravaganza. And when everyone else had the chocolate lava cake with ice cream and tiramisu, right in FRONT OF MY FACE, I didn't touch a single crumb/spoonful. I just sipped my coffee and averted my eyes when tiramisu flew around. ; )
~Been really tired, tired, tired in the evenings (lack of sleep, adrenal exertions from the meds increase), but still am fixing hubby his three bento boxes' worth of healthy lunches before I go to bed and making sure he has his breakfast stuff--which sometimes means scrambling his eggs ahead of time so he can nuke em warm, or making gluten-free hotcakes (he can have starch, since he's a metabolic burner!) with no-sugar homemade fruit compote, etc. He and I really love the EASY LUNCHBOXES system I got him last week and we started using this week. It's a positive, cause I'm keeping up with NOT caving to crap, even when exhausted. I force myself to the grocery store; I make myself make the lunches. I make sure we have produce galore. Big plus. Big lifestyle change from the gal who just would call for delivery crap when tired.
As far as the EASY LUNCHBOXES: a dream for us. Three boxes fit in the bag, and it zips and is easy to carry. Works great. He gets two meals and one box full of snacks (nuts, Larabar, hummus with carrot sticks, cheese n apple slices, etc.
I won a set from Katie J's blog (thanks, Katie!) and that should arrive soon. This way, we'll each have our own bento system, which is lovely, as when we have to take food for BOTH OF US to avoid temptations when out and about, that will simplify matters. And they have a great page with pics of REAL lunches and ideas. They do need more low-carb, Paleo, Primal, Gluten Free example pics! Maybe I'll snap one these days of hubby's threesome. ; )
No BPA. And though the lids are made for kids to be easy pop open (not Tupperware supertight), I just use rubber bands to secure stuff that might spill and use Press n Seal for when I use cottage cheese/yogurt/mooshy-smooshy-semi-solid--oozey stuff.
I have the bags in olive and aqua, and won a system with a dark red bag. The newest color is the pink, I think, and young girls, as we know, loveth the pink. With my three bags and 8 containers--and they have nice colorful lids--I'm REALLY set. I fill them at night, put the whole bag in the fridge, and hubby just has to grab 'n go in the AM when he's ready to head out for the office. Then he puts the whole bag in the fridge at work. :D EASY!
It's a great TOOL to make sure you think about what to eat and plan for balanced, healthful, non-crap meals. If you're a dieter who works, really, get some sort of brown-bagging or bento system. Makes things easier. And making stuff is as simple as cooking extra at dinner (or lunch or breakfast) and saving it for the next day. And some things I pack are so easy and don't require cooking for hubby: nuts, fruit, cottage cheese, salads with deli meat, etc. If you like yogurt, you can make a whole great snack in one bento, make your main lunch food in another, and not have to give in to office-crap temptations.
Speaking of stuff that makes lunches easier: Anyone try those gluten-free, no soy or assorted weird stuff alternate to regular sandwich wraps, PURE WRAPS? If you have, review it or link me up to your review of it. And where did ya get it? Thanks.
Anyway, if the weather is benevolent--and August/September in Miami is not the most benevolent of times for exercisers being outdoors--I will have my walk and that will make for almost 1.5 hours of exercise for the day. I may not be able to go all-out while I have congestion issues, but I can do something. And so can you!
I wish all my fellow fatfighters well today. If you're struggling like me to get back down the scale and find your full-behemoth mojo again, let's egg each other on. No quitting. Ever!
later, lovelies...
Monday, March 28, 2011
Day 50 of Phase 5: Where I Rant About My Defective Body and Early Envy of the Healthy, and Where I Progress to Make Peace and Vow to Good Stewardship of This Temple...and Where I Answer My Own Question about 3 Tips and Gift Basket For Obese Loved Ones/Friends Wanting to Lose Weight...
No scale today.
Asthma is acting up (yes, it began with 2 weeks of stuffier and stuffier nose and allergies and rashes, and now the spring pollen and mold assault has encroached on the bronchii). Pilates was tough, but we kept the pace slow enough that I didn't go into all-out attack. Sucks. But..hey, as long as I can breathe and am alive, I should not kvetch too much.
I think the reason it bothers me is that I exercise, eat beautifully, try to sleep restfully, de-stress my life as much as is possible without being comatose, don't abuse cigarettes, alcohol, drugs or sex. Do what I'm supposed to. But I can't do squat about what is genetically wrong with me.
It vexes me, yes, that this is out of my control. I was born defective; I'll die defective. I'll never EVER EVER know what it feels like to be a really healthy person.
Even as a kid, I was so envious it would drive me to near suicide that other kids could run and didn't have to carry wads of tissues in their pockets and bookbags, which inevitably ran out by lunchtime. Other kids didn't have to make sure they had pockets or purses to carry medicines and hankies. Other kids didn't have to worry when weather or seasonal changes came on. Other kids didn't have to routinely get shot up or hospitalized. Other kids didn't suffer debilitating depressions from age 8 on...though I didn't realize what it was until years and years later, when I understood wanting to kill yourself at age 8 and feeling blue as bruises periodically, in cycles, for no reason is not normal.
It pissed me off royally.
And in my teens and twenties and on, I'd get so angry at people who had vibrant health, who didn't worry that they could or could not breathe if they walked too fast or went past someone with strong perfume. Didn't have to sit somewhere else in church to avoid getting sick from residual smoke on a man's suit jacket of too much cologne on a woman's neck.
And when I was in the work force, worrying I'd be fired cause when my lungs took ill, I'd be out 2 weeks minimum at a stretch and have to bring in medical certification that I wasn't malingering. That I couldn't go camping with relatives. And on and on.
I used to tell healthy folks, who'd wake up and not have to give a care about what item they ate or what meds were in their pockets or what environment they had to avoid or how it was a fine day to just up and run around as much as they wished--don't take it for granted. I'd say that exactly: "you're blessed...don't take it for granted. That you can live without worrying if you'll suddenly seize up and not breathe...you're blessed."
It made me teeth-grinding furious when people with beautiful faces/bodies and profound health and excellently level moods sans depressive episodes did asinine crap like drunken binges, drug experimentation, promiscuous sex, , etc. How could my friends, these blessed ones, with clear skin, good eyes, fabulous health....risk damaging such a gift with quaaludes or coke or boozefests or one night stands or silly chicken-car-racing....
And there I was...envious and head-shakingly shocked they never understood what they had.....what a treasure.
So, I think part of my self-loathing and disdain of my body--which allowed me to get obese and not much care for ages about doing much about it--came from not being able to trust it. My eyes were bad (glasses at age 12). My skin was bad (rashes, eczema, then acne). My teeth were bad (stained from all those antibiotics in the tooth-formative years). My ankle was bad (severe fracture at age 5). And most of all, my immune system and respiratory system were bad. My body was not trustworthy, and then I came to hate its weird shape (that was not gracefully feminine like my other sisters, who have different types from paternal side of family).
I am starting to make peace with my defective body. I want to take care of it, nurture it, make it more functional and attractive (though it's got so much irreversible damage, the level I can get to will never be..well...socially lauded). I want to stop damaging and hating it for being an enemy to me in so many ways since infancy. I remind myself it's also been a friend, allowing me to see, no matter how imperfectly, a beautiful world and the faces of the people I love. I can hear. I can walk. I can taste food. I can sing and feel the pleasure of it. I can dream. I can create.
It's nice to have a body.
Until the resurrection...I won't know what it's like to have a body that's completely free of...illnesses. Of defects. BUT....it's still entrusted to me, and though it's late in life, I am going to be a better steward.
Every Christian who deforms their body with overeating, drugs, self-mutilation, etc--that person is violating the good stewardship that God expects for all his gifts. Life and our bodies...like the Earth, is a gift, and we should take care of it. The body is, says the Word, a temple...the temple of God, each of us, individually. If I mistreat it, if I abuse it, God is not pleased.
I want God to be pleased with what I do with regard to my flesh...not just my spirit or mind or soul. I need to work on all of it. :)
Anyway, I had asked my lovely bloggy readers to respond to a question. Read it here in this post if you missed it. The comments were great. Very smart. Very useful. Read them if you are new to dieting/weight loss/fatfighting, and you want to get advice just on how to GET STARTED, get going, toward some success.
And here is how I'd respond:
Question One: 3 Tips for Getting Started
1. COMMIT FULLY AND WHOLEHEARTEDLY: Commit to the reality and accept the tough but inevitable idea that you WILL HAVE TO GIVE STUFF UP. You will HAVE TO SACRIFICE SOME DEGREE, LARGE AND SMALL, OF FOOD RELATED PLEASURES AND COMFORTS FOR LIFE. It's not a temporary thing. A short-term fix. It's for life. Grasp that idea before embarking on the journey, then begin it with small steps that lead into the bigger steps (and everyone with half a brain knows the steps--eat less, move more, eat cleaner and more sound food, not junk and sugar and crap). But first, make the DECISION...or do what it takes to come to grasp that reality. That's numero uno.
2. BELIEVE FULLY and do what it takes to keep believing: If that means you have to scream affirmations into the morning wind, then do it. If it means tattooing "I Can Do It!" onto your right forearm: do it. If it means leaving sticky notes all over to encourage you day and night. Do it. You will not keep moving past obstacles and temptations if you do not BELIEVE that you are capable of losing the weight, gaining the muscle, eating less, overcoming emotional eating, overcoming stress eating. BELIEVE YOU CAN DO THIS. Read blogs of successful losers/maintainers until you see yourself in their story. Read books of successful dieters. Read books of successful ANYTHING questers--mountain climbers, around-the-world sailors. DO WHAT IT TAKES TO KEEP FAITH AND HOPE ALIVE. Start a blog Join a challenge. Do not, not notnotnotnotnotnotnot lose faith in your ability.
3. TRACK TO CALORIC LIMIT, THEN STOP EATING: Until you get to goal weight, choose a sane caloric level that will help you lose (and make it a lot less than what got you where you are) and track your food to stay within that level. Every morsel. Use a notepad. Use a computer. Use Sparkpeople. Use FitDay. Use whatever. But use something to account for points/calories. Naturally, then you stop eating when you reach your limit. PEOPLE LIE TO THEMSELVES. If you don't track every bite and spoonful and ounce (and a correlative of tracking is you must measure to know what to log/track), you will tell yourself "I didn't eat that much." Yes, you did. You got fat eating that much. I got fat eating THAT much. Don't lie. Track. It will open your eyes. And the online ones help you track nutrientes, so you know where you fall short (magnesium, iron, etc). And it will be stark evidence that you lean maybe (ahem, most likely, definitely) to unbalanced eating--too little protein, too many carbs, too much salt, not enough fiber, etc.
If I had more tips to give, I'd move into actual nutrition and exercise tips and stuff. But I am strongly of the mind that if we commit, believe, and track...things will start to happen. Eyes will open. Hearts will fill up with faith.
Now, a gift basket, with at least 3 (or only 3) items to help folks who are morbidly obese on their journey.
I'd include:
1. THE END OF OVEREATING book
2. A printed list of online food trackers, youtube exercise videos, and weight loss sites/blogs with a note about how each can help.
3. A gift certificate for one pair of good walking shoes
If I was going to include more items, maybe a grocery list of "healthful diet staples" with a gift certificate to a farmer's market. Or a book of dieter's affirmations. Or more books I value. Or some good whey protein and recipes for breakfast smoothies. Or toning balls and resistance bands. Or exercise DVDs. Or a free pass for a week at a gym. Or a prepaid appt with a dietitian.
That's what I'd give if I was limited to 3, though. :)
Anyway, if you know someone who needs to and wants to get started, but just feels lost about how to get going...do read those comments and pass along this blog entry. Maybe this is what they need to see/read/do.
I have to go work on some fiction judging...see you guys tomorrow...be well...
Asthma is acting up (yes, it began with 2 weeks of stuffier and stuffier nose and allergies and rashes, and now the spring pollen and mold assault has encroached on the bronchii). Pilates was tough, but we kept the pace slow enough that I didn't go into all-out attack. Sucks. But..hey, as long as I can breathe and am alive, I should not kvetch too much.
I think the reason it bothers me is that I exercise, eat beautifully, try to sleep restfully, de-stress my life as much as is possible without being comatose, don't abuse cigarettes, alcohol, drugs or sex. Do what I'm supposed to. But I can't do squat about what is genetically wrong with me.
It vexes me, yes, that this is out of my control. I was born defective; I'll die defective. I'll never EVER EVER know what it feels like to be a really healthy person.
Even as a kid, I was so envious it would drive me to near suicide that other kids could run and didn't have to carry wads of tissues in their pockets and bookbags, which inevitably ran out by lunchtime. Other kids didn't have to make sure they had pockets or purses to carry medicines and hankies. Other kids didn't have to worry when weather or seasonal changes came on. Other kids didn't have to routinely get shot up or hospitalized. Other kids didn't suffer debilitating depressions from age 8 on...though I didn't realize what it was until years and years later, when I understood wanting to kill yourself at age 8 and feeling blue as bruises periodically, in cycles, for no reason is not normal.
It pissed me off royally.
And in my teens and twenties and on, I'd get so angry at people who had vibrant health, who didn't worry that they could or could not breathe if they walked too fast or went past someone with strong perfume. Didn't have to sit somewhere else in church to avoid getting sick from residual smoke on a man's suit jacket of too much cologne on a woman's neck.
And when I was in the work force, worrying I'd be fired cause when my lungs took ill, I'd be out 2 weeks minimum at a stretch and have to bring in medical certification that I wasn't malingering. That I couldn't go camping with relatives. And on and on.
I used to tell healthy folks, who'd wake up and not have to give a care about what item they ate or what meds were in their pockets or what environment they had to avoid or how it was a fine day to just up and run around as much as they wished--don't take it for granted. I'd say that exactly: "you're blessed...don't take it for granted. That you can live without worrying if you'll suddenly seize up and not breathe...you're blessed."
It made me teeth-grinding furious when people with beautiful faces/bodies and profound health and excellently level moods sans depressive episodes did asinine crap like drunken binges, drug experimentation, promiscuous sex, , etc. How could my friends, these blessed ones, with clear skin, good eyes, fabulous health....risk damaging such a gift with quaaludes or coke or boozefests or one night stands or silly chicken-car-racing....
And there I was...envious and head-shakingly shocked they never understood what they had.....what a treasure.
So, I think part of my self-loathing and disdain of my body--which allowed me to get obese and not much care for ages about doing much about it--came from not being able to trust it. My eyes were bad (glasses at age 12). My skin was bad (rashes, eczema, then acne). My teeth were bad (stained from all those antibiotics in the tooth-formative years). My ankle was bad (severe fracture at age 5). And most of all, my immune system and respiratory system were bad. My body was not trustworthy, and then I came to hate its weird shape (that was not gracefully feminine like my other sisters, who have different types from paternal side of family).
I am starting to make peace with my defective body. I want to take care of it, nurture it, make it more functional and attractive (though it's got so much irreversible damage, the level I can get to will never be..well...socially lauded). I want to stop damaging and hating it for being an enemy to me in so many ways since infancy. I remind myself it's also been a friend, allowing me to see, no matter how imperfectly, a beautiful world and the faces of the people I love. I can hear. I can walk. I can taste food. I can sing and feel the pleasure of it. I can dream. I can create.
It's nice to have a body.
Until the resurrection...I won't know what it's like to have a body that's completely free of...illnesses. Of defects. BUT....it's still entrusted to me, and though it's late in life, I am going to be a better steward.
Every Christian who deforms their body with overeating, drugs, self-mutilation, etc--that person is violating the good stewardship that God expects for all his gifts. Life and our bodies...like the Earth, is a gift, and we should take care of it. The body is, says the Word, a temple...the temple of God, each of us, individually. If I mistreat it, if I abuse it, God is not pleased.
I want God to be pleased with what I do with regard to my flesh...not just my spirit or mind or soul. I need to work on all of it. :)
Anyway, I had asked my lovely bloggy readers to respond to a question. Read it here in this post if you missed it. The comments were great. Very smart. Very useful. Read them if you are new to dieting/weight loss/fatfighting, and you want to get advice just on how to GET STARTED, get going, toward some success.
And here is how I'd respond:
Question One: 3 Tips for Getting Started
1. COMMIT FULLY AND WHOLEHEARTEDLY: Commit to the reality and accept the tough but inevitable idea that you WILL HAVE TO GIVE STUFF UP. You will HAVE TO SACRIFICE SOME DEGREE, LARGE AND SMALL, OF FOOD RELATED PLEASURES AND COMFORTS FOR LIFE. It's not a temporary thing. A short-term fix. It's for life. Grasp that idea before embarking on the journey, then begin it with small steps that lead into the bigger steps (and everyone with half a brain knows the steps--eat less, move more, eat cleaner and more sound food, not junk and sugar and crap). But first, make the DECISION...or do what it takes to come to grasp that reality. That's numero uno.
2. BELIEVE FULLY and do what it takes to keep believing: If that means you have to scream affirmations into the morning wind, then do it. If it means tattooing "I Can Do It!" onto your right forearm: do it. If it means leaving sticky notes all over to encourage you day and night. Do it. You will not keep moving past obstacles and temptations if you do not BELIEVE that you are capable of losing the weight, gaining the muscle, eating less, overcoming emotional eating, overcoming stress eating. BELIEVE YOU CAN DO THIS. Read blogs of successful losers/maintainers until you see yourself in their story. Read books of successful dieters. Read books of successful ANYTHING questers--mountain climbers, around-the-world sailors. DO WHAT IT TAKES TO KEEP FAITH AND HOPE ALIVE. Start a blog Join a challenge. Do not, not notnotnotnotnotnotnot lose faith in your ability.
3. TRACK TO CALORIC LIMIT, THEN STOP EATING: Until you get to goal weight, choose a sane caloric level that will help you lose (and make it a lot less than what got you where you are) and track your food to stay within that level. Every morsel. Use a notepad. Use a computer. Use Sparkpeople. Use FitDay. Use whatever. But use something to account for points/calories. Naturally, then you stop eating when you reach your limit. PEOPLE LIE TO THEMSELVES. If you don't track every bite and spoonful and ounce (and a correlative of tracking is you must measure to know what to log/track), you will tell yourself "I didn't eat that much." Yes, you did. You got fat eating that much. I got fat eating THAT much. Don't lie. Track. It will open your eyes. And the online ones help you track nutrientes, so you know where you fall short (magnesium, iron, etc). And it will be stark evidence that you lean maybe (ahem, most likely, definitely) to unbalanced eating--too little protein, too many carbs, too much salt, not enough fiber, etc.
If I had more tips to give, I'd move into actual nutrition and exercise tips and stuff. But I am strongly of the mind that if we commit, believe, and track...things will start to happen. Eyes will open. Hearts will fill up with faith.
Now, a gift basket, with at least 3 (or only 3) items to help folks who are morbidly obese on their journey.
I'd include:
1. THE END OF OVEREATING book
2. A printed list of online food trackers, youtube exercise videos, and weight loss sites/blogs with a note about how each can help.
3. A gift certificate for one pair of good walking shoes
If I was going to include more items, maybe a grocery list of "healthful diet staples" with a gift certificate to a farmer's market. Or a book of dieter's affirmations. Or more books I value. Or some good whey protein and recipes for breakfast smoothies. Or toning balls and resistance bands. Or exercise DVDs. Or a free pass for a week at a gym. Or a prepaid appt with a dietitian.
That's what I'd give if I was limited to 3, though. :)
Anyway, if you know someone who needs to and wants to get started, but just feels lost about how to get going...do read those comments and pass along this blog entry. Maybe this is what they need to see/read/do.
I have to go work on some fiction judging...see you guys tomorrow...be well...
Friday, March 25, 2011
Day 47 of Phase 5: Scale Says...Broccolini Love, Dancing and Singing Pre Breakfast, Feeling Good Despite Allergy Season's Atacks, What I did Last Night....What 3 Tips Would You Give an Obese Pal or Relative To Help Them FatFight?
Tanita-san: 216.0
Right back where I was last weigh-in on Saturday. So, the overage is gone and it's time to make progress. I honestly don't know any reason other than salt or muscle-inflammation from some extra walking/sun/exercise. (I do have an itchy heat rash since Hatsume fair...too much sun for this photosensitive/heat-intolerant gal.) But, back down and hoping I can report some dang loss this weekend to the fearless leader. I have been eating like an angel, so I had better see some result other than clothes/tape measure. :D
I'm gonna be on a bunch of topics today, since I may be out and about tomorrow and my sister's birthday party is Sunday.
Big Sis is Catholic and does no meat at all for Lent, so my niece is making a "mini Thanksgiving" with roast turkey and fixings. I will bring healthful stuff and I can go to town on turkey breast. Yeah! I may take some broccolini, as I'm currently addicted to it.
I love it with dinner protein and I love it with breakfast eggs/egg whites/omelettes. OMG, cooked up with a scosh of EVOO and some garlic and herbs, and that baby makes an egg white omelette SING! With onions (sweet) and mushrooms (baby bella, organic) and some Mrs. Dash extra spicy and original blend and a bit of garlic/herb blend (I love Mrs. Dash stuff now)...it makes my morning.
I have learned that it pays to make EXTRA veggies for dinner and just bag the leftovers to use in omelettes in the AM for a couple days. Do the same in restaurants. Get extra steamed or roast or grilled veggies and dump 'em in morning eggies. Simplifies life, adds nutrients, filling, fiber...flavor!
So, I'm happy. Energy is great. I feel...NOT OLD (and I like that feeling, until my knees remind me otherwise). Put on some Buck-Tick and then some Benjamin Gate (one cd is after the other on the carousel) and just danced for a bit before and during making breakfast. I had my new bra on (went down a size, so got 3 new bras yesterday) so the puppies were nice and comfy as I bounced around on bare feet. I felt...so good. :)
All that talk about how exercise and eating well makes for energy: It's not bullshit. Seriously, I have not felt as good as I do this year...in 2+ decades. I'm 51 and feel like I'm back in my late twenties, energy-wise. My husband is happy cause he has his "young wife" back... in terms of my energy, enthusiasm, laughter, and sex drive. (Vavoom!)
You wanna feel young again: eat well and exercise. It will astound you how you'll feel after a while. Amazing.
I do get stuffier on my walks these days. Miami is in allergy season. At this time of year, for decades, I'd get sinusitis/bronchitis. Since I started eating better and exercising, I don't get 6+ cases of bronchitis/sinusitis a year anymore. I haven't had bronchitis since...um...late fall of 2009. (Knock on wood.) But I still take my inhaler and tissues on my walks. My nose will stuff up from the pollens, so I will have to restart Nasonex (which can give me nosebleeds when used regularly, so I take seasonal breaks.) I do take my Advair daily, Serevent, Zyrtec (actually, started using the Kirkland generic, ALLER-TEC, and it works great for a fraction of the price, recommended), nasal saline rinses..daily..part of maintenance. My immune system is messed up...hyperreactive..so these are necessitities. But I function. Amen. Thank you, God, for science.
And so, here I am walking last night (with tissues in hand). Hubby is carrying my inhaler in his pocket, otherwise that would be in my hand, too:
Last topic: If someone you know/like/love asked you for advice on how to get onto the losing weight bandwagon, and they said keep it simple, 3 tips they might use right away...what tips would you give? What gifts would you consider giving them to help?
I may post tomorrow on the tips I'd give (or Monday, not sure), but I'd like to hear what you would offer as the 3 simplest, most effective or helpful tips or gift for an obese loved one or colleague....advice or a gift basket or some creative way to get them going that incorporates the tips/strategies. How would you do it?
Okay, enjoy your Friday, a lot! (I wanna see SUCKER PUNCH, myself!)
Fight the good fat fight while having that fun!
Right back where I was last weigh-in on Saturday. So, the overage is gone and it's time to make progress. I honestly don't know any reason other than salt or muscle-inflammation from some extra walking/sun/exercise. (I do have an itchy heat rash since Hatsume fair...too much sun for this photosensitive/heat-intolerant gal.) But, back down and hoping I can report some dang loss this weekend to the fearless leader. I have been eating like an angel, so I had better see some result other than clothes/tape measure. :D
I'm gonna be on a bunch of topics today, since I may be out and about tomorrow and my sister's birthday party is Sunday.
Big Sis is Catholic and does no meat at all for Lent, so my niece is making a "mini Thanksgiving" with roast turkey and fixings. I will bring healthful stuff and I can go to town on turkey breast. Yeah! I may take some broccolini, as I'm currently addicted to it.
I love it with dinner protein and I love it with breakfast eggs/egg whites/omelettes. OMG, cooked up with a scosh of EVOO and some garlic and herbs, and that baby makes an egg white omelette SING! With onions (sweet) and mushrooms (baby bella, organic) and some Mrs. Dash extra spicy and original blend and a bit of garlic/herb blend (I love Mrs. Dash stuff now)...it makes my morning.
I have learned that it pays to make EXTRA veggies for dinner and just bag the leftovers to use in omelettes in the AM for a couple days. Do the same in restaurants. Get extra steamed or roast or grilled veggies and dump 'em in morning eggies. Simplifies life, adds nutrients, filling, fiber...flavor!
So, I'm happy. Energy is great. I feel...NOT OLD (and I like that feeling, until my knees remind me otherwise). Put on some Buck-Tick and then some Benjamin Gate (one cd is after the other on the carousel) and just danced for a bit before and during making breakfast. I had my new bra on (went down a size, so got 3 new bras yesterday) so the puppies were nice and comfy as I bounced around on bare feet. I felt...so good. :)
All that talk about how exercise and eating well makes for energy: It's not bullshit. Seriously, I have not felt as good as I do this year...in 2+ decades. I'm 51 and feel like I'm back in my late twenties, energy-wise. My husband is happy cause he has his "young wife" back... in terms of my energy, enthusiasm, laughter, and sex drive. (Vavoom!)
You wanna feel young again: eat well and exercise. It will astound you how you'll feel after a while. Amazing.
I do get stuffier on my walks these days. Miami is in allergy season. At this time of year, for decades, I'd get sinusitis/bronchitis. Since I started eating better and exercising, I don't get 6+ cases of bronchitis/sinusitis a year anymore. I haven't had bronchitis since...um...late fall of 2009. (Knock on wood.) But I still take my inhaler and tissues on my walks. My nose will stuff up from the pollens, so I will have to restart Nasonex (which can give me nosebleeds when used regularly, so I take seasonal breaks.) I do take my Advair daily, Serevent, Zyrtec (actually, started using the Kirkland generic, ALLER-TEC, and it works great for a fraction of the price, recommended), nasal saline rinses..daily..part of maintenance. My immune system is messed up...hyperreactive..so these are necessitities. But I function. Amen. Thank you, God, for science.
And so, here I am walking last night (with tissues in hand). Hubby is carrying my inhaler in his pocket, otherwise that would be in my hand, too:
 |
| Night-Walking with my faboo ASICS and DanskinNow top and Danskin Plus Capris |
Last topic: If someone you know/like/love asked you for advice on how to get onto the losing weight bandwagon, and they said keep it simple, 3 tips they might use right away...what tips would you give? What gifts would you consider giving them to help?
I may post tomorrow on the tips I'd give (or Monday, not sure), but I'd like to hear what you would offer as the 3 simplest, most effective or helpful tips or gift for an obese loved one or colleague....advice or a gift basket or some creative way to get them going that incorporates the tips/strategies. How would you do it?
Okay, enjoy your Friday, a lot! (I wanna see SUCKER PUNCH, myself!)
Fight the good fat fight while having that fun!
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Day 20 Son of DDDY Challenge: 3/5ths of a Pound Down and Still With the Wheeze, Anime-watching Day, and Now my Ears are Getting Stuffed Up!
Tanita-san's reckoning: 241.4
Yes, down after a day of holding. Yes! And that's after having a huge bowl of pasta and veggies yesterday (2 cups of pasta with 2.5 cups of veggies all in one bowl.) Yummy.
So close to teh 230s. It's making me eager.
Anyway, fine on water and calories yesterday. Carbs should have been higher and fats lower, but still, not bad.
Was watching some anime stuff I needed to get caught up on (ie, some stuff I've been wanting to watch and never got around to). Both of the OVA follow-ups to the excellent brief anime series, HIGASHI NO EDEN (Eden of the East). Watched our adorable Taki-kun do his thing in the fascinating Noblesse Oblige game of the "Selected" saviors of Japan. Love how Taki handled it. If you haven't seen the series or the f/u films (King of Japan and Paradise Lost), its a very nicely done anime.
Also tried out the first episode of Togainu no Chi (based on a boy love--ie, homosexual--manga, methinks), violent sorta futuristic boy-fighting thing. The black-leather-clad dude in black with the vampirish red eyes and the black-sword was hot, but I don't think I'll be watching much more. Caught up with the latest episode of BAKUMAN, a school/life teenager-protagonists anime that has a very charming, sweet and sometimes comical heart about two 15 year olds who decide to become mangaka (write a successful manga) that will become an anime by the time they turn 18. The goal is tied up to a subtle romance. The romance drives the passion of the artist teen while personal adventure and pride drives the writer-teen. Very nice anime. it's cool watching them become partners and pals.
Watching those uber-skinny Japanese characters makes one wanna stay on plan, I tell ya! (Although I've yet to see a skinnier protagonist than Watanuki from xxxHolic.)
So, anyway, caved and took a dose of Sudafed cause my ears are stuffing up. Ick. Hate that sensation. The allergy-asthma fest here continues. I'm gonna wanna die in exercise session tomorrow. Should have cancelled. REally should have.
Anyway, food log:
BREAKFAST:
Pretty much same as yesterday, excepts mushrooms in the omelette instead of tomato and a tangerine into the mix to make up for only having 1/2 cup of papaya left.
calories: 582
fluids: 80 oz
LUNCH: Hubby wants Mexican, so we're hitting a small local place with authentic fare...one of our faves. I ordered soup and a "tulum salad" which has marinated chicken breas and organic greens and corn, black beans, tomatoes. I nixed the tortilla chips and cheese this time.
Yeah, had the Mexican: Sopa de aguacate (chicken broth with some shredded chicken, pico de gallo, and avocado pieces), 1 taco al pastor, half of the tulum grilled chickens salad with 1 tbsp of the cilantro-peanut dressing, 1/2 cup refried beans and 1/4 cup Mexican rice, with 1/4 cup pico de gallo on top.
8 glasses of water
6 oz iced tea, unsweetened
calories: 959
fluids: 70 oz
DINNER:
1/2 Chocolite protein bar
2 glasses water
calories: 48
fluids: 16 oz
Total Calories: 1588
Total Fluids: 166 oz
Yes, down after a day of holding. Yes! And that's after having a huge bowl of pasta and veggies yesterday (2 cups of pasta with 2.5 cups of veggies all in one bowl.) Yummy.
So close to teh 230s. It's making me eager.
Anyway, fine on water and calories yesterday. Carbs should have been higher and fats lower, but still, not bad.
Was watching some anime stuff I needed to get caught up on (ie, some stuff I've been wanting to watch and never got around to). Both of the OVA follow-ups to the excellent brief anime series, HIGASHI NO EDEN (Eden of the East). Watched our adorable Taki-kun do his thing in the fascinating Noblesse Oblige game of the "Selected" saviors of Japan. Love how Taki handled it. If you haven't seen the series or the f/u films (King of Japan and Paradise Lost), its a very nicely done anime.
Also tried out the first episode of Togainu no Chi (based on a boy love--ie, homosexual--manga, methinks), violent sorta futuristic boy-fighting thing. The black-leather-clad dude in black with the vampirish red eyes and the black-sword was hot, but I don't think I'll be watching much more. Caught up with the latest episode of BAKUMAN, a school/life teenager-protagonists anime that has a very charming, sweet and sometimes comical heart about two 15 year olds who decide to become mangaka (write a successful manga) that will become an anime by the time they turn 18. The goal is tied up to a subtle romance. The romance drives the passion of the artist teen while personal adventure and pride drives the writer-teen. Very nice anime. it's cool watching them become partners and pals.
Watching those uber-skinny Japanese characters makes one wanna stay on plan, I tell ya! (Although I've yet to see a skinnier protagonist than Watanuki from xxxHolic.)
So, anyway, caved and took a dose of Sudafed cause my ears are stuffing up. Ick. Hate that sensation. The allergy-asthma fest here continues. I'm gonna wanna die in exercise session tomorrow. Should have cancelled. REally should have.
Anyway, food log:
BREAKFAST:
Pretty much same as yesterday, excepts mushrooms in the omelette instead of tomato and a tangerine into the mix to make up for only having 1/2 cup of papaya left.
calories: 582
fluids: 80 oz
LUNCH: Hubby wants Mexican, so we're hitting a small local place with authentic fare...one of our faves. I ordered soup and a "tulum salad" which has marinated chicken breas and organic greens and corn, black beans, tomatoes. I nixed the tortilla chips and cheese this time.
Yeah, had the Mexican: Sopa de aguacate (chicken broth with some shredded chicken, pico de gallo, and avocado pieces), 1 taco al pastor, half of the tulum grilled chickens salad with 1 tbsp of the cilantro-peanut dressing, 1/2 cup refried beans and 1/4 cup Mexican rice, with 1/4 cup pico de gallo on top.
8 glasses of water
6 oz iced tea, unsweetened
calories: 959
fluids: 70 oz
DINNER:
1/2 Chocolite protein bar
2 glasses water
calories: 48
fluids: 16 oz
Total Calories: 1588
Total Fluids: 166 oz
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Day 15 Son of DDDY Challenge: 4/5ths of a pound down in one day (did I poop it all out or what?), and where the wheeze continues, making me worry about health and the holiday, and where carby love continues, and where I ask you to recommend a "buttery" lite spread that mono-sat heavy...food/water log, too
Whoosh. Yes, you just heard my sigh of relief. I was afraid that with my 1. super salty lunch from Pollo Tropical and 2. Super Carby Day of eating--268 grams of carbs, to be exact, when previously I tried to stay between 100 and 160-- that I'd have a water gain.
Maybe I pooped out more than water weight. hahaha.
Tanita-san says: 243.4
Yesterday was 244.2
Me happy.
I did feel hungry pre-bedtime. Very hungry last night. This may be a function of less protein in the raw vegan dinner meal. Mebbe. The protein oatmeal helped loads, but I definitely went to bed hungry. That hadn't happened but one other time on this challenge, early on. Carbs do make me hungrier, but I just did what Allan said: add more water.
It doesn't help that when I'm all asthmatic and crap, I have to increase my steroid intake. Yes, I take TWO types of medications (maybe more, didn't research the others) that INCREASE APPETITE: steroids, antihistamines. Without these, I could not function. I know. When the allergens increase in the environment, not much I can do but suffer, as I am already dosed to the gills with asthma and allergy meds. Except for my low-dose blood pressure med (which I may not need anymore in about 25 to 30 pounds), all thre rest are to manage my asthma and allergies--a boatload of em. More than 250 bucks in co-pay's worth a month. But I can function, not fully normally, but enough not to want to slit my throat.
I do worry that my breathing won't clear up in time for Thanksgiving, or get worse, and then I'll miss the family to-do. Screw the food --though last year's was so delicious I wanted to swoon, and I didn't have pie or cake, I'm talking just the yummy bird and sides--I like seeing everyone together and play games and laugh at the hijinks from the wee ones.
Well, worry fixes nothing. I'll just keep the hope all will be well. And eat my lower fat, higher carb food. I have to say, I look forward to chomping away on legumes. Love my legumes! Today, I wanna hit the pineapple and cherries, all nice and anti-inflammatory.
I may try to the the low fat Mayo Clinic type diet (more protein, cause I'm all about satiety) and then segue as needed to lower protein, more good carbs. In fact, for those who like their fruits, veggies and carbs, and who prefer lower fat, and who plan to do the next stage of Allan's Challenges Series (I forget the name, Spawn of Son of DDDY? Demon Spawn of...hehheh), here is a 1200 calories sample Mayo Clinic Diet menu.You could google up 1200 calories diet plan, and you'll get various options.
Anyone know any good, not freaky, not yucky lower-fat buttery spread thing with no trans fats and more on the monounsaturated side of things? Let me know.
Boring food log now:
BREAKFAST: (I tend to feel fuller with eggs/egg whites, and I still had some high fiber/low carb tortillas, so guess what I had...yep.)
Egg, lowfat cheddar cheese, tomato, onion, salsa in a 50-cal tortilla wrap.
1 cup fresh pineapple and 3 cups coffee
6 glasses water
calcium, fiber, and vit C with quercetin supplements
calories: 335 (30/13/33--the fat was okay, but need to reduce amount of egg whites next time to get more in "line")
fluids: 72 oz
LUNCH: (ooooh, look, I get to have TWO slices of bread!)
2 oz lean ham and 1 slice 2% American cheese on
2 slices lower-cal whole wheat bread
1/4 cup cucumber slices, 1/4 cup tomato slices, a few leaves of spinach
1 tsp lite mayo, 2 tsp dijon mustard
2 cups coffee
6 glasses water
magnesium, vit C and quercetin, Multivit, & cinnamon supplements
calories: 366 (49/9/26--this is more like it, low in fat, still a lot but less protein, more carbs)
fluids: 64 oz
Snack:
2 glasses water
Calories so far:701 (79/23/59)--about 49% carbs, 14% fat, 37% protein
Fluids so far: 136 oz
DINNER: (hubby wants Mexican, so it's gonna be Lime. I asked for two chicken tacos and a very small guacamole, small pico, small salsa--small meal for me, cause I loves me Mexican and usually order more. He's not home yet, but that will be the plan.)
2 crispy grilled chicken breast tacos (lettuce, light sprinkle of cheese)
salsa, pico de gallo, guacamole, black beans and mixed lettuces in a bowl for salad.
fresh cilantro
3 cups decaf
6 glasses water (4 before, 1 during, 1 after)
calories: 667 (56/34/41) balance is off again...
fluids: 72 oz
Total Calories: 1368 (37-28-35 <---total fail in terms of test rec's, this is "Better Balancer", not "Fat Trimmer")
Total Fluids: 208 oz
Note: I felt pretty unhungry most of the day, which is good. No snacks needed. However, about 1:30 in the AM I was mighty peckish. Was gonna have a protein smoothie (60 cals) but saw how late it was and nixed the idea. I kept the fat lower, but not low enough (should be UNDER 40 grams. The higher protein kept me satisfied. I think I'm gonna aim at first for 50/30/20, cause it's hard so far minimizing protein and optimizing carbs. I think I need to stepladder it to the genotype balance.
Maybe I pooped out more than water weight. hahaha.
Tanita-san says: 243.4
Yesterday was 244.2
Me happy.
I did feel hungry pre-bedtime. Very hungry last night. This may be a function of less protein in the raw vegan dinner meal. Mebbe. The protein oatmeal helped loads, but I definitely went to bed hungry. That hadn't happened but one other time on this challenge, early on. Carbs do make me hungrier, but I just did what Allan said: add more water.
It doesn't help that when I'm all asthmatic and crap, I have to increase my steroid intake. Yes, I take TWO types of medications (maybe more, didn't research the others) that INCREASE APPETITE: steroids, antihistamines. Without these, I could not function. I know. When the allergens increase in the environment, not much I can do but suffer, as I am already dosed to the gills with asthma and allergy meds. Except for my low-dose blood pressure med (which I may not need anymore in about 25 to 30 pounds), all thre rest are to manage my asthma and allergies--a boatload of em. More than 250 bucks in co-pay's worth a month. But I can function, not fully normally, but enough not to want to slit my throat.
I do worry that my breathing won't clear up in time for Thanksgiving, or get worse, and then I'll miss the family to-do. Screw the food --though last year's was so delicious I wanted to swoon, and I didn't have pie or cake, I'm talking just the yummy bird and sides--I like seeing everyone together and play games and laugh at the hijinks from the wee ones.
Well, worry fixes nothing. I'll just keep the hope all will be well. And eat my lower fat, higher carb food. I have to say, I look forward to chomping away on legumes. Love my legumes! Today, I wanna hit the pineapple and cherries, all nice and anti-inflammatory.
I may try to the the low fat Mayo Clinic type diet (more protein, cause I'm all about satiety) and then segue as needed to lower protein, more good carbs. In fact, for those who like their fruits, veggies and carbs, and who prefer lower fat, and who plan to do the next stage of Allan's Challenges Series (I forget the name, Spawn of Son of DDDY? Demon Spawn of...hehheh), here is a 1200 calories sample Mayo Clinic Diet menu.You could google up 1200 calories diet plan, and you'll get various options.
Anyone know any good, not freaky, not yucky lower-fat buttery spread thing with no trans fats and more on the monounsaturated side of things? Let me know.
Boring food log now:
BREAKFAST: (I tend to feel fuller with eggs/egg whites, and I still had some high fiber/low carb tortillas, so guess what I had...yep.)
Egg, lowfat cheddar cheese, tomato, onion, salsa in a 50-cal tortilla wrap.
1 cup fresh pineapple and 3 cups coffee
6 glasses water
calcium, fiber, and vit C with quercetin supplements
calories: 335 (30/13/33--the fat was okay, but need to reduce amount of egg whites next time to get more in "line")
fluids: 72 oz
LUNCH: (ooooh, look, I get to have TWO slices of bread!)
2 oz lean ham and 1 slice 2% American cheese on
2 slices lower-cal whole wheat bread
1/4 cup cucumber slices, 1/4 cup tomato slices, a few leaves of spinach
1 tsp lite mayo, 2 tsp dijon mustard
2 cups coffee
6 glasses water
magnesium, vit C and quercetin, Multivit, & cinnamon supplements
calories: 366 (49/9/26--this is more like it, low in fat, still a lot but less protein, more carbs)
fluids: 64 oz
Snack:
2 glasses water
Calories so far:701 (79/23/59)--about 49% carbs, 14% fat, 37% protein
Fluids so far: 136 oz
DINNER: (hubby wants Mexican, so it's gonna be Lime. I asked for two chicken tacos and a very small guacamole, small pico, small salsa--small meal for me, cause I loves me Mexican and usually order more. He's not home yet, but that will be the plan.)
2 crispy grilled chicken breast tacos (lettuce, light sprinkle of cheese)
salsa, pico de gallo, guacamole, black beans and mixed lettuces in a bowl for salad.
fresh cilantro
3 cups decaf
6 glasses water (4 before, 1 during, 1 after)
calories: 667 (56/34/41) balance is off again...
fluids: 72 oz
Total Calories: 1368 (37-28-35 <---total fail in terms of test rec's, this is "Better Balancer", not "Fat Trimmer")
Total Fluids: 208 oz
Note: I felt pretty unhungry most of the day, which is good. No snacks needed. However, about 1:30 in the AM I was mighty peckish. Was gonna have a protein smoothie (60 cals) but saw how late it was and nixed the idea. I kept the fat lower, but not low enough (should be UNDER 40 grams. The higher protein kept me satisfied. I think I'm gonna aim at first for 50/30/20, cause it's hard so far minimizing protein and optimizing carbs. I think I need to stepladder it to the genotype balance.
Monday, November 22, 2010
Day 14 of Son of DDDY Challenge: Where I begin my Carby Path, and Where I Still Can't Breathe Like a Normal Person, But Go Work-Out Anyway to Find that Lost Fat Makes some Pilates Stretches and Moves Soooooo Much Easier...plus food and water log...
Wow. Two more weeks of challengy accountability. What's this now? Four Weeks of Allan-Led Challenges?
It has been a long, long time since I've stayed on plan this consistently and this long and drank this much in fluids. Amazing to me. Gives me hope, I tell you.
Today's weigh-in kept me stable: 244.2
I did go to Pilates, even though I was gasping through it, couldn't control my breaths to coordinate with movements, and was suffering. I figured I needed the stretching and strength-training to keep me in the right focus. She tones it down some and I got through it. I must say, this asthmatic chick is proud of herself.
Since I am on the New Carb-riddled and Fat-eschewing Journey, I drove by Pollo Tropical to get beans, yuca, and rice. Oh, my. Granted, this is the food I grew up on and I love boiled yuca with garlic and EVOO. I love my black beans with a bit of rice (as opposed to the folks who do rice with some beans, I like a lot of beans and a little rice, even as a kid). Because of the congestion, got me some Caribbean chicken soup for later. Got a salad at Subway (just veggies and some mozzarella) to split between lunch and dinner.
I really like seeing the progress in the mirror at the studio and in how much more I can move my arms behind me on the ladder barrel. I used to NOT be able to place my hands on the barrel when facing away from it to do a quad stretch--too much fat in my upper back and upper arms. I had to hold on to the ladder. Now, I can not only touch the barrel behind me, I can place my hands partway towards the middle of the barrel. I felt like throwing a party. Losing fat from your upper arms makes life easier, or at least Pilates. I totally feel the difference in some leg moves. More fat must have dropped from my belly and thighs, natch.
Okay, food loggie time--turn away if you get horrified by carbs, k?---->
BREAKFAST:
2 slices whole wheat bread, toasted
1 slice 2% Kraft deli select cheddar cheese
1/2 cup scrambled Egg Beaters
1 tsp Smart Balance spread
(made a sandwich with the above)
3/4 cup papaya, fresh, with wedge of lime's worth of juice on top
2 cups regular coffee
6 glasses of water
calories: 325
fluids: 64 oz
Snack:
2 glasses water
Iced coffee with some 2% milk (Starbucks) and sugar free cinnamon syrup (The Starbucks site calls it 24 oz, but with all that ice, I'm calling it 16 oz).
Calories: 190
Fluids: 32 oz
Calories So Far: 515
Fluids so far: 96 oz
LUNCH: Didn't feel very hungry 4 hours after BKFST (fiber!), but ate so as not to get overly hungry and then go nuts. Pre-emptive foodsy!
3/4 cup Pollo Tropical black beans
1/4 cup white rice
1 cup boiled yuca with 1/2 tsp olive oil and 1/2 teaspoon minced garlic
(felt full so saved salad for later)
4 glasses water
calories: 381 (calories so far-- 895)
fluids: 32 oz (met minimum)
DINNER: Wow. Definitely hungry 3 hours later. Had raw organic vegan stuff delivered.
3 cups corn and leek raw soup
1 serving raw green bean casserole
2.5 cups decaf
6 glasses water (2 before, 2 during, 2 after)
assorted supplements (Zinc, Calcium, Magnesium, C, quercetin, Multi)
(I had to deconstruct and guesstimate calories, but man, didn't know tahini was THAT loaded in calories/fat. Shoot, that threw off my ratios and ate up a lot of calories. Shoot. But that raw vegan green bean casserole was amazing, better than the Thanksgiving one. Yum.)
Calories: 717 (calories so far = 1613)
Fluids: 68 oz (fluids so far & not counting soup= 196 oz )
Snack: Hadn't planned on one, but was very hungry. Had intended to make a small bit of regular oatmeal with some milk, but the Quaker Oats I had had expired. So, I resorted to the WonderSlim protein oatmeal:
1 WS oatmeal
1/8th cup skim milk
2 glasses water
calories: 141
Total Calories: 1754
Total Fluids: 212
It has been a long, long time since I've stayed on plan this consistently and this long and drank this much in fluids. Amazing to me. Gives me hope, I tell you.
Today's weigh-in kept me stable: 244.2
I did go to Pilates, even though I was gasping through it, couldn't control my breaths to coordinate with movements, and was suffering. I figured I needed the stretching and strength-training to keep me in the right focus. She tones it down some and I got through it. I must say, this asthmatic chick is proud of herself.
Since I am on the New Carb-riddled and Fat-eschewing Journey, I drove by Pollo Tropical to get beans, yuca, and rice. Oh, my. Granted, this is the food I grew up on and I love boiled yuca with garlic and EVOO. I love my black beans with a bit of rice (as opposed to the folks who do rice with some beans, I like a lot of beans and a little rice, even as a kid). Because of the congestion, got me some Caribbean chicken soup for later. Got a salad at Subway (just veggies and some mozzarella) to split between lunch and dinner.
I really like seeing the progress in the mirror at the studio and in how much more I can move my arms behind me on the ladder barrel. I used to NOT be able to place my hands on the barrel when facing away from it to do a quad stretch--too much fat in my upper back and upper arms. I had to hold on to the ladder. Now, I can not only touch the barrel behind me, I can place my hands partway towards the middle of the barrel. I felt like throwing a party. Losing fat from your upper arms makes life easier, or at least Pilates. I totally feel the difference in some leg moves. More fat must have dropped from my belly and thighs, natch.
Okay, food loggie time--turn away if you get horrified by carbs, k?---->
BREAKFAST:
2 slices whole wheat bread, toasted
1 slice 2% Kraft deli select cheddar cheese
1/2 cup scrambled Egg Beaters
1 tsp Smart Balance spread
(made a sandwich with the above)
3/4 cup papaya, fresh, with wedge of lime's worth of juice on top
2 cups regular coffee
6 glasses of water
calories: 325
fluids: 64 oz
Snack:
2 glasses water
Iced coffee with some 2% milk (Starbucks) and sugar free cinnamon syrup (The Starbucks site calls it 24 oz, but with all that ice, I'm calling it 16 oz).
Calories: 190
Fluids: 32 oz
Calories So Far: 515
Fluids so far: 96 oz
LUNCH: Didn't feel very hungry 4 hours after BKFST (fiber!), but ate so as not to get overly hungry and then go nuts. Pre-emptive foodsy!
3/4 cup Pollo Tropical black beans
1/4 cup white rice
1 cup boiled yuca with 1/2 tsp olive oil and 1/2 teaspoon minced garlic
(felt full so saved salad for later)
4 glasses water
calories: 381 (calories so far-- 895)
fluids: 32 oz (met minimum)
DINNER: Wow. Definitely hungry 3 hours later. Had raw organic vegan stuff delivered.
3 cups corn and leek raw soup
1 serving raw green bean casserole
2.5 cups decaf
6 glasses water (2 before, 2 during, 2 after)
assorted supplements (Zinc, Calcium, Magnesium, C, quercetin, Multi)
(I had to deconstruct and guesstimate calories, but man, didn't know tahini was THAT loaded in calories/fat. Shoot, that threw off my ratios and ate up a lot of calories. Shoot. But that raw vegan green bean casserole was amazing, better than the Thanksgiving one. Yum.)
Calories: 717 (calories so far = 1613)
Fluids: 68 oz (fluids so far & not counting soup= 196 oz )
Snack: Hadn't planned on one, but was very hungry. Had intended to make a small bit of regular oatmeal with some milk, but the Quaker Oats I had had expired. So, I resorted to the WonderSlim protein oatmeal:
1 WS oatmeal
1/8th cup skim milk
2 glasses water
calories: 141
Total Calories: 1754
Total Fluids: 212
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