Perspective on the asthma/allergy (or why I need to NOT whine)...Better Breathing, Better Journaling, Crap Scale....but it will move. I keep the faith...Baggy "goal shorts" pic and naked mirror time motivation (no pic--ever!)..and how much hubby can eat (but I can't)...plus joy comes in the morning (afternoon, evening) with a Charlie Brown Praise Break...

Yesterday ended up better than it began. By my evening walk, I could up the pace. Breathing was nearly normal but nasal congestion, while improved, remained.

Make me wonder if the Pilates session did the respiratory good.

I will note that, so far, this summer has been MILES better than a couple decades worth of summers. I didn't need to cancel a whole month of exercise sessions. I didn't need nasal cauterization. I didn't rely on Nasonex (which I quit taking after the March onslaught, and usually start up again before August, to ready myself). I'm much less affected. I just got used to feeling GREAT on the non-crazy-allergy months, so I expect to feel and breathe great. The impediment this month, while frustrating, is nothing compared to summers past. Even the trainer commented on my improvement over the past 3 summers she's worked with me. Well, it's true. :)

I need to keep perspective. I am a whole, whole lot better. I am not dripping gobs of snot or needing to see an ENT or longing for Prednisone to put me out of my misery. :)

It's amazing to me after having years of being a "respiratory cripple", as I tagged it in the early 90s, when walking to the bathroom was enough to wind me, when I became often housebound, when I would have 6+ bronchitis episodes a year.

This is so much better. I guess I wanted to skip the bad altogether. To get a reprieve.

And I did. This is a reprieve. I will be thankful and not whine. :)

Today, to keep the motivation up, I spent some time in front of the mirror stark naked. And you know, I didn't mind it so much. I knelt on the bed and looked in the dresser mirror and thought, "Wow, if I hadn't gotten morbidly obese and had still done Pilates, my body would be amazing..." and then I thought, "But for an old dame who did wreck her body for 2+ decades, it's not bad. I kinda like that woman there."

My body would terrify a Hollywood starlet and it probably would disgust the shallow types who only see beauty in the perfect smooth slenderness of magazines...but me, I looked and thought, 'Yeah. I want to keep this. I don't wanna go back."

Hanging skin and droopy boobies and rippled butt and all, I had a woman's curves and some muscle and lean cool looking legs. This is my motivation today. To keep this and to do even better...to not lose what the hard war has won me.

I stayed in my challenge calorie counts yesterday. I exercised 75 minutes altogether. I drank all my fluids. I stayed away from starches. And while the scale didn't move down, I feel like I'm starting to get a grip again from the slippery slope. (fingers crossed) Onward...I don't lose heart or faith.

And to commemorate the re-commitment to MY own transformation today, a pic of me fitting into an old pair of "goal shorts". White shorts. With a white tank. I haven't worn white in..in..I can't remember. Fat people tend to avoid light colors. Well, this fat woman did. But here I am, all in white. These shorts are XL. I bought them back when I was 4x. They didn't go over my hips then. They do now--with room to spare:

My plate again has room to spare, too. Back to reining things in and not letting portion creep get me.

I wish I could eat like hubby and be on the verge of underweight like he is. Sigh. Men. So lucky. Can eat more than we do! Here's the "lunch and snacks" I packed last night for hubby --not including the breakfast I pre-made for him to nuke or the apple and banana he takes in his work-bag for his extra fruit snacks or the Larabar and nuts he keeps at his desk for emergency hunger:

Hubby's lunch for today...with snack..in his
EASY LUNCHBOX set, cooler not shown.

Today's lunch part 1: grilled chicken breast with 1/2 cup Mexican rice and a spinach mozzarella salad  
Lunch part 2: sirloin burger with cheddar, asparagus, mashed potatoes (real butter and cream)
Snack: Beanitos with salsa, cottage cheese with strawberries and cantaloupe, dark chocolate square.
Not showing: nuts, apple, banana, Larabar

Yes. That's his "lunch bag" contents. And he's on the border of underweight. (He lost 60 or so pounds altogether, half this year when he did the Primal experiment. Experiment cancelled. He dropped so much weight, I had to put starches back in the diet in the form of rice and potatoes, with the occasional legume (peas, those Beanitos now and then). He was turning into pure bones. Starch is fattening, so there you go. Eat the starches, keep from losing too much.

So, for you men who want to drop fat like mad, go Paleo/Primal. Hubby literally had to eat ALL DAY, snack ALL DAY, eat multi-meals to just keep weight on...and still got bony.

Grrrrr. This is so unfair. I want to eat all day long, too! hahahahahah

And for those, like me, who won't be reaching certain goals by Slimmer This Summer Challenge's end, don't ever give up and repeat this quote I got from Anne today:

“When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, 

don't adjust the goals, adjust the action steps.”

Anyway, be good to yourself with healthy foods and movement and be very, very happy today! It's your day for JOY!

And for believers out there having a hard time, going through the dark night of temptations and sorrow,  this one's for YOU!

AMEN!

Day 5 of StSC: Arthritis in my butt? ...Almost off BP Meds... IHOP Simple Fit brekkie.. StS day 4 stats ...&...I have a THUTT Plus This is What happens to thighs when you lose 105 lbs! It ain't cute!

Okay, so no scale today. Rushed (and barely made) my appointment with the doc. She suspects it's arthritis in my coccyx and hips (as well as knees, sure) that is causing the issue. I suspected the hips. I always am stiff after sitting a spell and need to stretch before walking, cause the first 10 minutes always hurt. Stiff, stiff, stiff! Thank God Pilates gives some stretch relief.

I did mention getting old is a beeyotch, right?

On the plus side, BP was low, and she reduced my half-dosage to a half-dosage every other day. She suspects that 5 more pounds and I'll be off the ramipril altogether. Yay!

On the way home from the doc, I was hungry. So, I wanted breakfast and I turned at the first IHOP I saw. I hadn't been to IHOP in..well...a long time. I didn't know they'd revamped the menu. I'd assumed I'd get a salad and some eggs or eggs and tomato or some variation.

Noticed they had a SIMPLE FIT thing going on, with a few choices (not a lot, but a few) that were lower calorie/fat. Fine, I wanted eggs anyway.  It just made it easier on me not to have to haggle over what to get instead of toast/potatoes/stuff I don't eat.

I got this one:

The menu said this egg-substitute omelette with spinach, mushrooms, and tomato with a side of fruit was 330 cals. I added swiss cheese for more protein and some calcium. So, mebbe 450 to 500? I don't believe the calorie counts, so I figure a bit more ANYWAY from what they say. Always ADD some. Restaurants don't follow the perfect guidelines of a company's rigorous kitchen (weights, measures, less oil, blah, blah). But under 500 is fine for one meal. I normally eat twice, add maybe a snack if peckish. I had coffee and lots of water and felt quite full.

The omelette was excellent. Tasty and fluffy and a decent serving of veggies and a small serving of fruit  (though at home I usually have 3 to 6x the freggies). The fruit was...so-so. The pineapple piece and single grape were icky looking. The cantaloupe was a little past its prime. The honeydew and orange segments was good. Glad it was mostly honeydew.

Okay, so my anniversary (28th) is tomorrow. I had such a nice time at the Aveda spa last week (and my hair still looks GOOD without having done a thing to it since then), that I asked hubby to indulge me. "I want to have another condition and blow-out!" He said fine. He's gonna have his highlights touched up. He's got a pro photo session this coming week, and it would be nice to have his hair look primo for it. He might need those pics for author shots, resumes, conference programs, who knows what else...

So, how did my StS Challenge Thursday/4th day  go?

Calories: 1349, and tracked on Sparkpeople
Exercise: 30 minutes-- walking
Fluids: Yes.
Vitamins: Yes
Prayer: yes
Encourage Challengers: Yes, some.

Here was dinner last night, which was actually like BREAKFAST...cause I didn't have eggs that day and wanted me something lightish, but cheesyish and wanted broccoli slaw. Bought some fresh and got a hankering:

Cherries, honeydew in bowl; egg white layer with mushrooms,
broccoli slaw, red peppers, lowfat cheese, and lots of Mrs. Dash Onion & Herb

In case anyone cared how I carry my goodies while walking, I used to just carry them in my hand (inhaler, tissues, keys) and tuck moolah in my bra. Now I carry a cute leather bag I got a couple weeks ago:

Walking outfit on 6-9-11, with cute bag
& hair pulled half-back for coolness.

Sorry about the flash. I was in a semi-hurry and rushed. I love having my hands free when I'm ambulating!

Okay, so the bag is cute, but my thighs increasingly less so. I've noticed that with the last 8 pounds or so, my butt is now resting noticeably on my upper thighs. I guess I have, not cankles, but THUTT. I hate how it feels when I walk naked. Ugh.

And the thighs are crinklier and now dimpling mid-thigh. Before, the mid-thigh was pretty good. But in the last few weeks, the crinkling is really noticeable there. I guess I passed a hanging-skin threshold and it got suddenly worse.

I tried to get good shots, but this is the best I could do. Didn't wanna show too much (ie, panties)....cause, really, I balk and hubby balks at THAT. :O

Here we go:

Draping skin at inner thigh

weird dimping on mid thighs

Elephant crinkly skin, and yes, I hate seeing that!

If you are not obese but have been gaining weight, here is my cautionary visual. DO NOT BECOME HUGE. If you do, and you reduce, and exercise like mad, you will still have damage. It's ugly. You don't want it on your body. Do whatever it takes to get a handle on things and eat well, move well, hydrate well, and NOT GET HUGE!

I cannot tell you how awful it is to have your skin NOT FIT. It's like I constantly wear clothes that are baggy and unattractive. I have to hoist the loose stuff into bras and undies and feel best in clothes with some stretch/compression to keep the wobbles at bay.

Please, don't get like I did. Save yourself the droopy flesh blues.

And...that's it. Sorry to end on a downer....but I think the good has to go with the bad to be truthful. The good, being fat and sick for so long made me more compassionate and patient. Getting healthy is making me more disciplined. But there are consequences....and the worst of it I can't show. (No, I ain't showing you my butt and panni, cause, really, I don't wanna disrespect hubby or be THAT exposed on the "it's out there forever" internet.)

I pray your weekend is truly, truly wonderful. I may be scarce. I have an anniversary to celebrate with the sweetest, dearest, handsomest man in the cosmos!

Later...

Day 3 of StSC: Making up the calories, Vegging Out due to Smoke and Rash, The Weird "is it bone or what?" Thing, New Fila Workout Top, and My Food Plate(s) for Lunch!

Tanita-san: 194.4 (the starch bloat is ebbing)

But I had starch again today after Pilates. I am trying to balance things. One serving a day like the R.D. recommended (and ok if some days none). Later on that. But first...

The Challenge Update for Day 2:

Calories: 850
This was not intentional. I simply was not hungry. Since I had an over 1200 eating day Monday, I figure this balances stuff out some. :) I am actually in deficit, since 1435 - 850 = 2285. Back on track.

Exercise/Push-ups Progress: Nope.
We had smoke issues and hubby insisted I stay inside. I actually kept my workout clothes on until 10pm, but didn't wanna risk setting off my asthma. So, being sore and all from Pilates and push-ups, I figured: "Veg-out day to build muscle!" Today, we move! My goal is to exercise 5 days a week, and I used up one of my rest days.

Prayer: Yep. You got prayed for, people.

Fluids: Yep. Drank what I had to.

Encouragement: I posted on several challenge blogs. And hey, my post was encouraging, yes? :) It sure was LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG.

Okay. So, Day 2 went fine, other than the smoke and my assorted rashes and the healing bug bites. My legs still look weird from those...

What isn't weird is my new Fila exercise top. I love it. It's got enough fabric that I can wear a regular bra. I's comfy. I like the black and white thing going. And the armholes are large enough to not impede Pilates movements. Yeah, baby. I got it for less than 15 bucks. Winner!

Here it is. My Danskin capris make a lumpy banded-waistline line under it, but does anyone really care? ~~

Fila top in XL!

Love my new top & my 10 lb new kettlebell (see on floor, gray/blue thingy)

Lunch today from Thai place... before consumption.
That's (from left bottom then clockwise) fresh papaya with lime juice,
fresh organic strawberries, vitamins in teacup, chilled green tea, water,
On plate: avocado sushi, kappa roll, 3 skewers (2 1/4 ounces weighed WITH sticks)
of satay chicken.Dunno why I put so much flatware. It was mostly fingers time!

After consumption: Too full to eat strawberries, saved for supper.
Lefover rice (I pull some out so I consume an eyeballed 1/2 cup)
439 cals, & this makes 10 glasses of fluids for the day...6 more to go.

Well, I called my doc for an appt Friday. For a couple months now, I have something bugging me in my butt area, like right up where the coccyx/sacrum bony bits are. Very uncomfortable in some Pilates moves and it bothers me when I lie down on my back in bed. A memory foam topper helped, but I still feel it. I don't know if it's bone, cartilage, a cyst, whatever. It's annoying and I need to have her check it and refer me to someone who can properly diagnose it. I also need to see my endo and get a colonoscopy and a bone density scan and, soon, another mammo and another Pap....yadda yadda.

Growing old is a pain in the butt--literally right now--and means so many tests and what-not. Seeing docs, I'm used to since childhood. I see my primary care one at least every 2 to 3 months and my endo 2 to 3 times a year (2x if no problems, more if issues arise).

I envy y'all who are in perfect health. Thhhpppttt!!!

Anyway, wishing you all a great 3rd day of the Slimmer This Summer Challenge. Stay within calories. Move if it's your exercise day. Drink good, clean water or non-crap fluids. Pray, if you're the praying sort, that we succeed and succeed with amazing numbers!

I pray the blessings of health upon you!

Later...

Nice extra downtick today...Some Food From Yesterday...Pics from After Workout (front, side)

Got on the scale after waking up and it was 2/5ths of a pound down from weigh-in Friday. I will TAKE IT. My first "scosh down" for the next 7 days. While my weeky goal for loss is just 1 lb and a "scosh", I would not mind seeing a loss of 2 lbs and get a bit of a head start on the holiday obstacle course. I have exercised 3x this week, and I want to add to that and make it 4x. That would be the first time this year I've exercised that much in one week. (Inertia has ruled.)

So, I forgot to take a pic of supper last night--to divert myself from the temptation of Friday take-out that was our habit, pizza or Mexican, etc--and cause while I had planned a vegetarian high-fiber pasta night, but felt sick after some ill-advised decluttering (the dust killed me). I said, "Screw it, we're having soup."

Yep. Canned soup. Granted, we had nice organic co-op fruits and veggies to go with it, but I laugh. He had chicken rice, I had chicken corn chowder, and I added extra organic canned chicken to both to pump up the protein. I added mushrooms to mine. It was actually quite good with the additions. I made an organic sprouted corn mini-quesadilla with lowfat cheese. And two pluots. I think I was wanting corn?? Even today, I'm thinking about that yummy raw corn and leek chowder I've had delivered from time to time. Weird. Anyway, not a low-or-lower carb supper after all that, but the scale was fine. Yay.

Hubby wants Mexican today. I'm sitting here with the menu figuring out what will do the least damage and most satisfaction. Prolly chicken fajitas sans rice. Or the taco salad (which doesn't have a shell), but has the chicken or beef, greens, salsa, guacamole...

Deciding, deciding.

Anyway, I got sidetracked the other day re uploading. Here's Thursdays's bkfst and lunch:

I'm laughing at my mostly eaten Saturn peach on the table in the second pic. I was sooooo famished after working out that I was hitting that peach while plating the food. The portobello mushroom and zucchini sautee was so good, dang. My glutton soul wanted another plateful.

Breakfast, first pic, was egg whites with veggies and cheese. that half of a papaya looks intimidating next to the smaller pile of eggs. hah.  The cloudy beverage is coconut water. I like to have a good amount before working out so I don't get cramps. (I am very prone to cramping in two specific body areas. If I do the coconut water, I am almost guaranteed no cramps.)

I uploaded a bunch of Pilates pics, but am not gonna post all of them. I want to organize and post to add to the PHAT PILATES section (see tab under blog header). It's to show some examples of how my trainer modifies the moves for my obese body.

We did do some posture work yesterday. Because my fat is predominantly addominal (and I carry the bosom/belly thing in front), it alters my posture. It feels weird when I'm in proper alignmen, cause I can feel the front-heaviness pulling me forward and off balance. Yeah, excess fat is distorting, is it not?

Here are a couple of shots AFTER working out. Weight in this shot: 258 (I had a bit of bloat):

I still feel very weird posting pics of me in body hugging workout wear. It's not pretty, I know. It's still kinda scary. But I was looking high and low for pics of fat gals doing Pilates three years ago when I was interested, and there weren't any. A bit discouraging. I hope me posting my fat, fifty y.o. body doing it will encourage fellow fatties to give it a go!

I hope....

Happy Saturday! A new week starts tomorrow. Make it a healthy one!