Where Can I Get This Extract, Please? ; ) And an Epiphany Shawl Pic Plus a Cautionary-Tale Hanging-Skin Pic for those Only Overweight or Normal Weight So you DO NOT GET OBESE! You don't want this flappy stuff on your body!

An article you might wanna take a look at if you are obese, if you sometimes fall off the wagon, if you have insulin resistance/visceral fat issues. Here ya go:

Twenty Weeks of Gluttony Without Gaining.

Hops water and Rhein. I want to try those, just to see. Not that I believe in magic bullets. Not after trying a couple things Dr. Oz recommended--following it to the letter--with squat results. I don't trust his supplement-for-weight-loss-or-X anymore. I think he needs so much material to fit a popular show that he will tout anything that isn't malicious, frankly, at this point.

Okay, we had our family gift-exchange yesterday, in old Cuban tradition. I got this pretty shawl from my grandniece/grandnephew:

It went great with the Nine West dress I chose to wear. It was a warm day, so I swapped out my original outfit for this one, cooler and sleeveless. I wore this dress at at tea party in January of 2012, so you can see I'm pretty much the same size. :D

Now, going sleeveless is a bit of a trial for those of us who have lost a lot of weight. 100+ pounds will definitely leave skin-consequences. My face is droopier, now that the stretched out cheeks aren't filled out with fat. My jawline. My thighs. My belly and butt. My back. All have droopy, hanging skin. Even when I was seeing a trainer 2 and 3 times a week and had gotten strong and gotten muscle, I had hanging skin. It looked better naked with muscle than it does now with much less muscle after 6 months of inactivity (yeah, I got really slothful/lazy), but still. It will hang.

If you are normal weight and starting to gain. If you are just overweight and rising up towards obesity: Google up "droopy" or "hanging" skin on the internet and look at how it appears on folks once they drop pounds. It is NOT pretty.

I mostly don't wear shapewear. I wear good (pricey) bras: Wacoal and Chantelle and Elomi and Anita. I have 38DDD boobs--once 46G-- and hanging side skin, so a good bra is worth the investment.

But I rarely wear shapewear for my droopy belly/butt/thighs. I do sometimes wear boy shorts or bicycle type panties/underwear to help with thigh hang in the inner thigh, but mostly, I do without. When I had more muscle, I did fine. You could see the panniculus demarcation in some clothes/fabrics, but that's just one of those things that reminds you of the damage done. Motivates you to keep at it. It's one of the main reasons I wanna get back to training, get my muscle. I looked so much better nekkid with lots of muscle in belly and thighs and butt and back and legs.

Some damage stays done sans surgery.

Here are two shots of my upper arm hanging skin. In the first one, taken yesterday, my arm was in motion, so this was "flap blowback" as I call it. I had lifted and swung my arm, so you see where my "normal" arm is, which is nicely, normally shaped. Then you see that flap of skin underneath. In the second one, I have my arms out to the side, so you see the hang when my arms are horizontal. I had hams for arms when I was huge-huge, and this skin is a legacy of that. Not very attractive, huh?

Princess' Skinflappiness

No compression shapewear. Just panties and a Wacoal bra here.

This is why my fave sleeve is 3/4. This is why fabric with some compression is welcome. This what you will face if you let yourself get obese, morbidly obese, superobese--and then slim down some or a lot. You will have loose skin.

Genetic variance will be in play. Some folks hang more, and some are more elastic and bounce back better. But in general, huge losses = excess, loose, hanging skin leftover.

You don't want it.

Here are before arm pics, one at 278 pounds and one about 10 pounds less:

Pilates outfit when I first started at 278 lbs

I was already building muscle here, 2 years of exercising, but the fat shrouds it.

Do what it takes to healthfully stop weight GAIN or to stay normal weight. Lose it when you only have 20 or 30 or 40 to lose. If you end up like me, with 150 extra pounds, you will regret it. Your body will suffer in various ways, and this will be one of them. You'll wear a loose skin-suit and when you shift in bed, it will be a weird sensation when your loose skin droops down. It always feels like you need to go back to the store and get skin that fits.

It's not a lovely thing. Prevent it. Tackle your food issues before your food issues permanently damage you.

And be well...

First Post of 2013: Accountability, Word of the Year, Photos, and Recommitment

Ah, 2012 was rough on me in its last couple months. Well, it was a bit rough from the end of June on. Less income meant the loss of my personal trainer. Illness set me back in other ways. But this is a new year, with a new word, and a recommitment to a vision to let go of what holds me back and grab hold of those habits and people and events and things that  push and drive and yank me toward my goals.

So, some stats, cause accountability to me means NUMBERS, not just words.

On New Year's Eves past, I weighed thusly:;

2009: 267 lbs
2010: 234 lbs
2011: 183 lbs

I don't have stats kept for a lot of years, but I was in the 270s for several NY Eves prior to that.

This New Year's Eve: 182 lbs

On Dec 30, I was 178.8. A series of salty foods played havoc, so that by New Year's Day, I was 185, until I peed a couple times, then 183. So, the scale was all over the high 170s and low 180s for the end of the year.

The good news: I ended up with a net loss of ONE pound since last NY Eve. I maintained, basically. And that's fine.

The bad news: Back in the 180s and a lot of muscle loss. A LOT. I cannot tell you how easy it is  to be a couch potato again and lose muscle. Very easy. Very scarily easy. And I'm ashamed of getting out of good habits. That means that this 182 lbs is fattier and less lean than last year's. Urk.

So, what habits dropped off since November when I got ill:

1. 10 glasses of water a day
2. exercising at least 5 days a week
3. praying over my day's food goals upon awaking
4. blogging to keep myself motivated

So, with 2013 seeing me at a higher weight than my lowest in 2012, I must work on--work on diligently--at getting back good water, portioning, and positive focus habits.

Accountability to me is also about photos. I posted photos last NY Eve. Here are shots from New Year's Day. We didn't dress up or leave the house NY Eve, but we got together with family yesterday. These are at me at 183 lbs on the scale--both last year's pic and this year's shots.

kinda fun headless shot

Excuse the lousy posture, hah, I was repositioning..awkwardly, clearly.

I love red (to wear). Cool red. Warm red. This is an orange red. Compare to me wearing an earthy red years ago:

At about 80 or 90 lbs more than previous shots and next pic.

And this is NY Eve last time, 2011, 183 lbs

I'm grateful for another year. My health is not as vibrant today as it was one year ago. Exercise, right foods, proper rest, lowering stress--it all has an affect on appearance. I see my face DROOPIER since 6 months ago. My loss of good habits has taken a toll in many ways.

Well, that's my accountability.

Now, for my word of the  year: RELEASE

I put a pic on the left sidebar representing "release" to remind me of it anytime I check the blog.

I had  "open doors" as my phrase last year, and it's interesting that my husband began to work for a company that has "Open" in the title, and that I began to open myself to a new group (new church) and new ideas (restarted writing). I am continuing my "openings" this year--and NEED to-- but RELEASE is most appropriate for various reasons that I won't get into now.

I hope you have a vision for this year. If you made goals and want to hold on. If you didn't make goals and are going to work toward them. If like me you took some steps BACKWARD and want to recoup the good things set aside.

Never quit. Find the solution. Keep going with faith in the human power to change. Persist with hope. 

HAPPY NEW YEAR, my dears.

May 2013 be peaceful and blessed for us all, and may we make strides to grab hold of good things, including more healthful habits and a more vibrant life.

God bless...and be well...

A Passel of Pictures, A Pound That Prickles, A Pack of Paragraphs To Prime the Artistic Pump...and a Book for the Calorie Curious..

Just a various-items type of update, cause this is a transitional week for me, trying to do a lot of things at once while finding the balance. I'm not handling transitioning great, but I intend to get my footing!

I do feel like smiling and laughing again. Father's Day weekend pics are PROOF!

My hubby (with halo) and me.
I really love what the wind did to my hair here.
I wonder how I'd replicate this retro look?
Hair combs? French braid? I like it, though.

Windy-curly smile. Jungle Red lips.

Love the stone with my  dress and hair
My signature colors: red, black, white.

I felt better--mood, energy--but not 100%. I'll get there. (God, please.)  I wore a dress that had been sitting in my closet for months. It fit a little loose, but was comfy and girly. These are genuine smiles, so I'm hoping the remnants of the blues just fade away:

 I stepped on the scale today after the weekend of eating a bit more: 181.6

Hm.

Well, like I said, wobbly transition. Exercise has been....laughably minimal.

I downloaded THIS BOOK to my Kindle. I figure it will remind me to keep on top of calories, as maintenance requires it. And ease off the sugar-free chocolate. The preview for it was very interesting, and I like science-ey stuff.

The writing: Well, I sat down and wrote nine paragraphs. Okay, so some were only one-liners. But hey, I wrote. Yay, me.

Doesn't sound like much, does it? But nine paragraphs raise a story question, introduce a character with a special trait, add a deviation from the norm, and maybe make you want to read more, even if it's preliminary, warm-the-brain-up crap after 5 years of writing pretty much bupkis.

Behold the rough crap:

Luisa was used to seeing what others missed. Hurrying to the office on an early summer morning, she couldn’t help but notice them.

The beautiful ones faced eastward, every single one.

Whether dressed in suits and ties or shorts and tees, whether masculine or feminine or that intriguing androgyny that smiled from the space between, all sat or leaned or stood in postures of expectation. This one stood bowing a bit forward on muscular feet, and the only thing that kept him from tumbling into the gutter was a tanned hand balanced lightly on a parking meter. That one with sat with a Cuban pastry untouched on a paper plate in front of her, head tilted to the right, utterly white hair a frothy cascade against the black of her black jacket. Another sat with elbows on bare knees, an expression less patient than his comrades. And that one there, he (or perhaps she) paused in sipping her  (or his) latte, lips parted, as if already caught by some wonderful matter only they-- these assorted staring beauties --could see.

They did not read newspapers or novels or the faces of passersby hurrying to work, as Luisa had been. They did not type or swipe on gleaming gadgets du jour.

They stood out, even among the usual mix of attractive residents and workers. They drew attention, and didn't care. They ignored everything other than what they look at that way…east. 

Luisa stopped walking--fine, so she was late already, a few more minutes didn't matter-- and followed their gazes.

Nothing struck her as stare-worthy in the regular sights from the parking garage to her office: inviting eateries and freshly-opened shops catering to the younger, urban, vigorously trendy crowd that had moved in over the last couple years. Nouveau or vegan or organic or fusion whatnot.

Nothing out of the ordinary.

But there they were, those exquisite creatures with their unwavering attention to--what?

Yes, my rusty brain is being asked to create. It's not easy going from nil movement to acceleration creatively; but it was actually, I dunno, let's say I felt this sense of, "Oh, that's right, this can feel good and tingly!"

The paragraphs may or may not be relevant. It may simply be an 'oiling the machinery' exercise. But it still felt good to overcome inertia and WRITE SOMETHING. My intention is to go back to one of my two preferred fantasy manuscripts and enter those worlds again. But this might end up a story. Ya never know.

Okay, that's it for the update. Be well, folks. Let me know if you get the book! (Or if you're writing fiction, too.)

Oh, and you may note that I changed the blog's name and subtitle. It's no longer Two Years to Happy Weight After....

Mother's Day and the Dress...Feeling Feminine!

I got to wear--finally--my 9West dress for Mother's Day (that orange/green/brown/pink tribal print dress that I posted about previously).

I'm an avocado/appley type body (curvy, fat congregates in the belly/torso), and in these pics, it reminds me I still have a ways to go. But, well, I've seemed to settle in the place where my body LIKES to be, as much as I want it to be 20-25 lbs lower.

I did the arms up shot to show the curves better, hahahaha. BUT ALSO..cause the acanthosis nigricans is nearly gone. I used to have charcoal grey skin under my arms from the prediabetes/insulin resistance. You can see a bit of it in this photo on the right from June 2010--I was in the 260s-- though the acanthosis nigricans had by that date already improved a bit after 2 years of exercising hard and eating better. The darkest areas are hidden by the shirt. I, these days, have a bit of shaving-induced hyperpigmentation, but the severe A.N. that plagued various parts of my body (thighs, underarms, neck, etc)  is pretty much history, thank God. :D

It's nice to wear dresses again. It's wonderful. WONDERFUL! Nothing makes me feel as feminine as a cute dress.

For the record: I'm not wearing shapewear. Bra and panties. No slip (my slip was too long, turned out). I wanted to wear shapewear, but in the end, I chose comfort.

I hope you enjoyed your mother's day and got to wear something that made you feel girly (or manly) and good!

Yup, I gots curves. Mostly booby curves, heh.
And that's a flower headband on my head.
My younger niece and SIL made "tea party hats"
with tulle and ribbons, and for my older niece
 and me, they created headbands. I don't
like to crush my curls with hats. :D
I look ready to "hula". :D

I may be old and overweight,
but I sure like feeling girly!
I'm holding the headband here. :)

OMG, I found my "before" pic top, size 30/32! Trying it on..with other clothes from then on me NOW! Lotsa Pics!

I gave a yelp! Did you hear it?

I was going through tubs of old, stored clothes. I filled up two and half lawn and leaf bags worth--those 39 gallon capacity ones--of clothes to toss, and filled one bag with clothes to give away (ie, in good condition or still had tags on).

Then I found... THAT shirt. The black embroidered tunic top that I wear in the pic you see as my before/highest-weight shot. (It's both in the upper left sidebar and in the the Progress Pics page). Well, here is that old pic:

And here is the shirt on me TODAY, with a 121 lb difference:

I tried to turn to the angle in the 2004 pic.
I gathered up the shirt to show body difference.

I can fit a teen in here with me!

And that's not all. I found a workout top from Junonia I used to love cause it's my "signature" colors --ie, black and red. Junonia was the place I had to go to for 4x and 3x workout-wear way back when. Here I am in that top at 278 lbs in Jan of 2009 at a local state park, racoon in background:

I'd been doing Pilates for 6 months and
felt BETTER, but obviously...just getting
started on my mojo. Food not under control!

And the same top today, found in the tub along with others from my "biggest" periods:

Loads of SPACE.
You can see my piles of
sorting mess on the bed!

Side view to compare with side view above.

And here is my favest red top from my highest weight time, size 30/32, both wide and gathered:

This used to be snug in the chest/belly

I love this color and print and fabric
and style combo--and so comfy--
that I hesitate even now to toss it. Sigh...

I tried some other stuff from the "biggest periods" clothes:

These used to be my GO TO fave pants.
These are 3x, as I don't have any 4x ones left.
I threw those out. I can hide in these during
a hurricane. ; ) They did used to sit at my waist.

These next, are NOT stretch pants. These were dress pants, zipper and button type, that were at my highest size: 28. I'm 14 now. Half that size. I buttoned and zipped them, and still had this much space. Remember, these ain't stretch!!!~~

I did find a top from my 4x highest weight period. This is a workout top, another from Junonia:

And now a skirt:

After all that, I got dressed for my walk. Seeing my progress--SEEING it and FEELING it--makes me not want to ever go back there again:

Determined NOT to go back to that!

Be well.

A bloggy recommendation for those starting this weight loss journey with a lot to lose or change..A pre-final update try-on of the E2E dress...and some thoughts/advice on weight-loss blogging...

I've been thinking a lot about how my two year blog "get to goal" deadline is closing in. Only FIVE months away. Boy, does tempis fugit. It doesn't seem like more than a year and a half already since I began this blog for greater accountability, focus, and motivation.

My previous blog is one I think of as my "setting the stage" or "prepping the field". Three years of working on issues, trying assorted diets (including raw vegan), and figuring out why the hell I binge and why I could not seem to heal my eating issues. I was on a quest to know ME and heal MYSELF.

This blog was created when I finally found my stride and wanted to be visible, hence the pics,  accountable, hence the weekly weigh-ins on the sidebar,  and goal-oriented, hence the timeline and caloric limits and and exercise goals.

I want to tell you that if you have a LOT of weight to lose, be prepared to give it time

But be prepared for that time to whizz by. WHIZZ!

Two years sounded like a lot in 2010. Not so much now.

A year. Two years. Three years...this will seem ridiculously far away to you if you are early in your journey--or just about to start. YOu want it FAST AND FASTER.

Well, you know, 100 pounds, 200 pounds, 300 pounds. That's a lot to lose. Crash diets suck. Sorry, but they do. I've seen major crash and burns with folks who think the shortcut is the best path.

Give yourself time to lose and focus on goals, daily and weekly, monthly, annually. Make it as consistent as you can so you build habits. Learn a new way to eat and move that doesn't take you BACK to where you began.

Give it time.

And if you are going to blog about your journey (and I think it's a great motivating tool if you use it properly, for learning and accountability), be consistent with that, too. Sporadic blogging. Dishonest blogging. Skipping weigh-ins. Going blank for weeks. That's all a sign of being OUT of control and NOT willing to be accountable even to yourself. 

Using a public forum for motivation ONLY works if you commit to BEING public with the goals/results. You will feel shame if you did poorly, and that is part of it. You will feel joy when you succeed, and that's great. People will commisserate. People will celebrate. People will offer advice. Soemtimes, people are cruel and nasty. But most of the time, people are supportive and kind and friendly.

Don't blog for weight loss if you're gonna lie and fudge. It really defeats the whole purpose of being public. You want to be as public with the lows and with the highs. The fails and the wins. That's the only way this forum keeps you on track. If you commit to it.

And I recommend one more thing: Do future blogs that will pop up to ask you questions. I saw another blogger do this, and I think it's a great idea.

If you set a year as your timeline, create a blog post that will post AUTOMATICALLY in a year's time. Date it a year from today. Create the post that asks you to answer questions about how you've come, if you've met goals, what you learned, where you are, and to set NEW goals for the coming year.

You can do this in any time frame you like, but it's another bloggy tool that can help. What will you ask of that future YOU? What do you want that future you to be doing, thinkng, weighing? Make the future post..today.

Cause time really does fly. Don't let one other year pass without getting even a bit closer to your goals. (Though a lot closer is always nicer, right?)

Now, the Dress:

I woke up, put on a bra (no panties or shapewear to help out, hah), clipped up my messy hair, and tried on the E2E dress (a size 14 regular --not W or plus-Nine West fitted sheath). Just to see if now that  most of my regain is gone, where the zipper stands.

First, how it looked at the start of the challenge:

The zipper/back view today:

Front and side views today:

I noticed it was even less snug in the waist and hip area (more give, which is noticeable in the front view in the waist).

I'm glad to be making progress on losing the regain (I had gotten to 184 again briefly). Today, 178.8.

I wonder if that would have been better without the lunch of salty shredded beef Cuban style and the miso soup I made for supper. Lots of sodium yesterday, cause I didn't want meat or to cook much, so I just did take-out lunch and a quickie miso supper (paste in hot water, add mushrooms and scallions and seaweed). Plus a pear and some cashews. Miso is VERY VERY salty. Like 900 grams per tablespoon. I did have a glass of coconut water to balance the miso-sodium with some potassium. I think that helped. :D

So, take your pics. Start your blog. Be faithful with accountability. Chart your progress in numbers and pictures.

Some days, and some weeks--when it's hard and harder and hardest--knowing you have to check in and fess up to the world can keep you from going all nuts when temptation hits. It really can. I know it's done it for me many times on this journey. Knowing you'd SEE what I did or did not do made me think twice about skipping a workout or eating that extra helping.

When things are humming, you don't need this. But it doesn't always hum.

If you plan to blog to lose....and if you find it helpful at all...use the tool well. Everyone knows if you misuse a tool,  it's not gonna get the job done.This isn't about being perfect. It's about being true.

Don't dawdle with it, fiddle with it, lie on it. Use the tool until you get to goal. Or for as long as it's useful. Not everyone thrives on this medium. If it's good for you, use it right. Use it consistently and with integrity...and it will yield results. I believe that. :)

Be well...

FIGHT THE FAT REMOTIVATION PROJECT, Day 6: Activity #3 Joined a New Challenge ...Activity #4 Photos ....and Activity #5 Clothes for Mojo

Okay, so this is the continuing saga of Princess Dieter fighting to get her mojo back. :D

I've managed to put a halt to the upwards rise of the scale, which is the first step to getting it DOWN again.

If you didn't notice, I began the FtFRP six days ago, last Wednesday. Desperate times call for desperate measures. I didn't want to wait until I was obese again to get a handle on things. I decided it was time to just get the fire going and try different things to do so.

Activity 1 was 5 minute meditations. I am NOT being consistent with this (but then, consistency is one of the things that starts going out the window when the mojo flags.) This is to strengthen the SELF CONTROL section of the brain. (See the book WILLPOWER INSTINCT by Dr. Kelly McGonigal for more)

Activity 2 was reading the kinds of "wake up and do something" articles and studies (the scary stuff about fat, diabetes, etc) that made me get up and go in the past. I didn't want to get diabetes, and that was a big motivator for me. FEAR. 

Not just fear. It's also the LONGING FOR HEALTH. To me, they went hand in hand. I DESIRED HEALTH and FEARED DEADLY DISEASES.

Activity 3 was joining a challenge I did not lead. :D But I always value ACCOUNTABILITY. This time, I simply wanted to concentrate on ME and not have to do stuff for others, quite frankly. Until the mojo returns, this is about ME. I organized and co-led three challenges in a row, and I'm burned out. I want someone else to do linkies and I don't want to have to remind anyone to update or do this or do that. It's all about ME right now. :D

Activity 4 is PHOTOS. I used photographs to help me get a proper body image (I tend to see myself SLIMMER in the mirror, I learned, and that's as much a lie as folks who see themselves FATTER in a mirror. It's dysmorphia. It's self-delusion.)  It's also cheering when I see a change for the good in photos. And it's scary when I see change for worse. So, I'm taking lots of photos to remind me I"M STILL FAT. :D It also reminds me I LOOK BETTER NOW and don't lose it. VISUAL FEEDBACK.

Activity 5 is trying on CLOTHES and having motivating "smaller" clothes. This is something I've done for months, and my challenges reflected this. I believe having a tangible object that shows your body is changing and CAN change is helpful. When the scale number is the same, but something suddenly zips that didn't, you know the exercise is paying off and the body composition is changing. So, I firmly believe in clothes for motivation. VANITY.

I also use CLOTHES because I had to spend a lot of money getting new clothes in this journey where I've lost 117 lbs. A lot of moolah. And when I got closer to goal, I got dresses again (to show off legs and feel girly). I don't want to regain and NOT be able to wear the designer stuff I invested in. Anne Klein. Calvin Klein. Evan Picone. Elie Tahari, Marina, Ralph Lauren. I bought a few good pieces on sale, and I want to keep fitting or fit into the smaller pieces (the motivating ones, like the Nine West Dresses).  If I regain, I can't wear my purdy stuff. Unacceptable. If I don't lose more, I can't fit into my purdy motivational dresses. Unacceptable. SAVE MONEY.

Okay, so, some pics to document for myself and, I hope, work up the mojo:

Pics 1, 2: A happy abstracty print that I was hoping to use for a nice dinner out soon or Easter. It's sleeveless, so my droopy upper arms get noticed, but I don't care. Makes me feel pretty. Size 14 regular, Nine West.

Pic 3: This one doesn't show up well (bad lighting in the bedroom), but it's a ruched Calvin Klein women's 14 number that can be dress up for fun or dressed down for serious (the funeral type outfit, ya know). My fave type sleeve -- 3/4 -- to cover the fatwings.

Pic 4: One of my first pairs of zip up dress slacks, cause morbidly obese gals can't really rock the side zip designer pants. Anne Klein, size 14, navy... and you can see the bit of gape in the back, cause it's a bit loose now in the waist. :D

 Pic 5, 6: Ralph Lauren, size 14, skirt. This skirt has no give, does not stretch out like some, and zips up the side. So, if I regain, this can't be zipped and worn, period. It's already tighter than when I first tried it on...by 3 pounds. I could tell the difference in fit, cause my regains tend to be waist/belly first.

My current motivation dress (for the Ready for Summer Challenge) is this Ralph Lauren floral springy/summery number which I'd like to fit in perfectly for my anniversary in June OR SOONER. It's a regular, not Misses or Plus, but it's a 16 and fits waist and hips fine, but the upper torso is too snug to zip. The perennial problem of 38DDD/DDDD gals:

And as a reminder from last year, at 179 lbs (3 lbs less than today), it's nice to be able to wear zip-up jeans, which I hadn't felt comfy in or looked decent in for nearly 2 decades:

proud owner of zipper-jeans!

And what am I wearing today to remind me not to exceed my caloric goals? THIS:

TADA! A tennis skirt. This is only IN THE HOUSE wear, but it's a reminder. Don't get obese again. Lose more weight. Fit better into clothes. Keep being able to wear skirts.

Enough for now. I think I feel some mojo rising. :D

Be well...

E2E Challenge Update #9: Working on not getting frustrated, for real, and focusing on the joy of "the now" and the DRESSES. (with pics)

Today:
Tanita-san: 180.2
Waist: 34.75

Last Sunday:
Tanita-san: 181.4
Waist: 35

This should be happy for me, cause it's 1.2 less than the last update. But I'm just passing down old territory where I've passed up and down, and up and down, for months. It's not virgin territory until 177.2. That's the number that says, "Oh, we're moving again."

I was lower in the week (as my Vlogs attest) so it's particularly frustrating.

Fluids: fine
Exercise: completed strengthening goals. Fell short on cardio goals.
Mood: improved. Sleep, too.
Support: I exceeded the minimum. :) I've kept in bloggy contact with my challenge buddy, too.
Dress: Not time to try again.
Book: Only been reading WILLPOWER INSTINCT from the ones I'm doing for challenge. At this point, I need to engage my brain to break through this maintenance thing I have going that my body is loving. I keep the faith that normalizing my thyroid will be the thing to change up this game...but I know in the meantime, I have to not get so frustrated I do stupid food things. And I have been known to do stupid food things if I start to lose heart. So, no heart-losing.

Sometimes, you just have to be happy at your progress and not obsess over future progress. I've come to realize this. That enjoying THIS part of the journey is not a sin. Being here is not bad. Yes, I want to be in a lower number. Very much so. But not so much that I have that burning for it, like when I was over 200 or even just over the "obese" line, and had this mighty impetus to get off high blood pressure pills, not get diabetes, improve mobility (which being obese, mobility stucks), and saving what was left of my lower extremity joints from the abuse of such weight....

Now, it's about improving health MORE and that bit of the vanity that wants to look slimmer, though, at my age, a "hot dish" is not something I can be. But I do find a huge satisfaction in wearing dresses again (which for a nearly a couple decades had been a no-go).

I think if there is ONE thing that will help me maintain my loss, other than those health issues that were my main driving force to lose...it's how happy I feel wearing dresses again. You have NO idea how ridiculously giddy I get putting on a dress and working the girly mojo. I used to mostly exclusively wear skirts and dresses back in the day...and when i worked. But since I'm an apple/avocado type, when I got big, dresses made me feel like one big weird huge ball of fabric. And with my ankles getting huge, I didn't like my legs sticking out of skirts or dresses. So, I defaulted to pants. STRETCH PANTS, as fat apple types have a hard time with jeans/zippered pants.

But looking nice again in dresses is PRICELESS. I didn't even envision this as being one of the more satisfying parts of this journey, although I did focus on the idea of being able to cross my legs (that was a great day when I could).

But there it is: The joy of the dress.

And here's the dress I wore to that post resort dinner last Sunday:

I love wrap dresses, but I need a contrast
color to define the waist better. I actually LOOKED
slimmer than in the pic, believe it or not.

Legs look good, right? Though this
posture is dorky.

Exercise made my legs (aside from the awful sagging skin on the thighs) look shapelier and good, so dresses...bring them on! I have ankles again and from the knee down, my legs rock.

Anyway, focus on what is good NOW about what you've done for yourself when the times when losing is extra hard or frustrating takes hold. You made progress. Enjoy it. Celebrate it. Hold onto it until the next phase blooms. Enjoy the NOW in the journey, and look forward to the THEN, which is so different from the WHAT WAS.

One day, these daily joys, that are novel NOW, may be what helps you maintain when the hunger monsters return.

Always find the thing to celebrate.

And be well...