OK, I did not warrior-it-out yesterday. I had a SECOND tossed salad with dressing and a second helping of chicken breast at dinner. I chose to self-indulge. No excuses. The brat, clearly, is still making the decisions. But, hey, no truffles!
Today, I had my first Pilates "class", after having done privates from June 2008 to June 2012, before we had our income go down about 12%. Pretty significant difference. It went fine, as some folks cancelled, so it was just two of us doing the Reformer set. I worked hard, and I worked out still sore from Monday.
Yesterday, I walked 30 minutes, struggling with a bit of knee instability and "foot drop" in my left leg. When the damaged knee acts up, the foot acts up. Just how it is. I did do the "open to a random page" thing before going walking to get a verse to meditate upon, and it was beyond suitable, when taken in a different context than intended by St. Paul in 14th chapter of the epistle to the Romans, when taken for my particular situation: Do not, for the sake of food, destroy the work of God.
In a very real sense, those of us who overeat are destroying one of God's works--ourselves. Food is not more important than we are.
Anyway, Plan for the rest of the day, movement: I'll test to see if I can do the walk today. It's in the plan unless I decide to just rest it. The day is warm and lovely, so might as well take advantage, if possible.
Plan for the rest of the day, food: Stay at or under 1700 calories. When I have some good 1700 calorie days under my belt, then go down to 1600, and then to 1500, where I'll settle for a spell. I'll evaluate 1400 later. Right now, just staying under 2000 again would be mighty nice.
Since I Kindled the updated version of BEATING OVEREATING, now called DITCHING DIETS, by Gillian Riley (which I mentioned in the previous post, where you will find an Amazon link), I'm committing to reading some chapters out of it before I do some house chores and get to my writing time. I need to get to the point of BEST choices, and, clearly, I ain't there.
Looking forward with hope and faith.
Be well...
Showing posts with label calorie counting. Show all posts
Showing posts with label calorie counting. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
Sunday, January 6, 2013
End Goal or End God? A Slip of the Brain with a Lesson; also, Weigh-in and Controlling Appetite Beasts; Finally-- Seeking and Finding the Glorious on the Feast of the Epiphany , 'Cause The Journey is HARD! (Warning: ridiculously long post)
Note: Thanks to those who chimed in with suggestions in my previous post regarding the devotional project. I appreciate it. :D Please feel free to add more suggestions. On to our regularly scheduled post...
Sunday is my normal weigh-in day for this blog (or Saturday or Monday when I forget). And it's Sunday, the 6th. Three Kings Day. Dia de Los Reyes. The Feast of the Epiphany. It's the 12th Day of Christmas, as well. With this, Christmas is officially over and the trees can come down.
But we'll get to that later. First, the weigh-in:
180.4
The right direction. It was 183.2 New Year's Day.
So close to my goal decade.
Interestingly, when I went to log the weight on my sidebar weight journal (see left sidebar), I wrote in "God" instead of "Goal" when I added the note about 2013: "End Goal for Year = 170 lbs" I had first typed: "End God for the Year."
That slip of the brain made me think about how some of us make weight, our bodies, our "look" and size--we make those our God. Our diet becomes our God. It consumes us and defines us and we create an idol. It reminded me to keep this in perspective. It's something that requries attention, energy, study, work. But it should never become my idol. I've seen more than a few bloggers who turn food and exercise into their idol--that's what creates and directs them in such an obssessive way that it's a bit worrisome.
And in the other extreme, there's those times we and other folks don't give a damn about what we/they eat, don't care about our health and just act immaturely or apathetically and refuse to listen to wise counsel, not our own internal wise voice or the sage words of loved ones or the helpful direction from a professional only interested in our well-being.
Both apathy and idolization about our health and food issues are sick extremes.
I just want to normalize.
I don't aim to be cut/buff/perfect. I don't aim for a size 2 or 4. Orthorexia isn't my goal. I don't want to freak if I have a deviation now and then from my plan. Only if it's a pattern, if the deviation begins to become the norm.
Normality about eating and better health from lifestyle changes--that's what I want. Not to obsess about food. Not to not care about food. Not to self-destruct. Not to idolize my body.
It may be an epiphany for you to accept that it's easy to make food a god--either worship it eating too much or thinking about it too much. Yes, you can make your body a temple or an idol--one is good, one is not.
Treating it with respect and making it work well for your life purposes: good. Valuable.
Treating it like the end-all, be-all of your self-esteem, feeding vanity along with perfect meals, feeling superior to others because you look "like this" and not "like that": not good. Bad.
I'm looking for the good path between extremes. How about you?
Anyway, on the personal front: I've had trouble bringing my calories down and getting back into the eating format/pattern/manner that I ate in my main losing phase in 2011.
This is normal.
After increasing intake, after allowing those treats and caloric foods--things like chocolate truffles, mousse made with real sugar, fried New Year's empanadillas, fried stuffed potatoes on Christmas--the body wants more of that. The brain has been brought into those old habits of pleasure and stimulation and it wants more.
What did you let yourself indulge in that made you have a hard time with appetite? Holiday pies? Fried foods? Junk drive-thru foods? Now, you will have to pay the price.
Like junkies, there's gonna be a bit of withdrawal. The brain does want the "fix."
Control is harder. There it is. I have to get through the "pulling in the reins" phase, and it's gonna be hard and hurt a bit, but I remember that the easier phase comes after. When the brain calms down, the body adjusts, the stomach shrinks, the habit of control reasserts.
It will come. If you're going through this same adjustment phase, just hold on. It will come.
Like I did in 2010 when I began, I'm gradually decreasing intake. I'm not in strongly restricted zone yet. I found for me, stages works best.
In fact, some dietitians advise slowly readjusting. Instead of slashing calories radically--say 2500 or 3000 or 4000 to 1400 or 1200 or 900--some do better just to ease off the problem foods and higher calories down to better eating and lower calories in steps. Steps. Bit by bit. Not from feast to starve, which can be jarring or lead to a binge. No, rather, it may help to go from overeating or bad eating to more normal eating, then from more normal eating to moderate caloric restriction or deficit, then consider dipping into stricter calorie-deficit dieting levels.
Granted, there are exeptions. There are folks who do great slashing away and feel totally in control right off with tiny portions.
Given the blowback of binges I see round about when some folks try to do that, I say give the 'steps system' a go. Bit by bit. Cut back, change, refine, bit by bit.
On the matter of epiphanies, revelations: One of those books that delivered an epiphany for me in 2010 and made it possible for me to get a grip on my binges (I haven't binged since May 2010) was THE END OF OVEREATING, which opened my eyes to how hyperpalatable foods can send folks into chronic overeating. Those types of foods do set me off. can literally make me go into this frantic thing where I shovel, shovel, shovel food. If I eat them again daily, consistently, that will happen again. I know it.
I don't allow that. (Or haven't yet.) The daily indulgence in the hyperpalatable.
But I have allowed intrusions more often than is healthful for ME.
During my illness and holiday weeks late in 2012, I allowed some of those hyperpalatable foods (ie, some salted olive oil potato chips, sugary treats, fried and salted foods with carbs--the triumvirate of overeating (fat with starch with sugar.) Not every day. Not every meal. But enough that it's done something to my brain and tongue and desires again.
I felt my appetite increase. I felt the monster begin to return.
How's your appetite beast? What are you doing to manage it?
For me, managing that beast involves refusing to eat hyperpalatable foods, cooking more at home, keeping tons of fresh produce in the house, drinking lots of fluids, increasing protein (even using whey between meals), and moderating carbs/starches (for me, that moderation of carbs/starches means, ideally, 80 to 120 carbs a day, and definitley no more than 150. I don't do well on VLC--my thyroid rebels--but I don't do well on higher carb/starch--my appetite wakes up like mad).
I also do better with two good-sized meals than many mini-meals. My stomach stretching some to contain fluids and food, sending those signals for satiety, that system sets me up for happy hours of non-food-thinking.
During the last two months of last year, I went back to snacking. I was sick. Often couldn't bother to get up and fix meals while hubby was at work. Didn't wanna do delivery and set myself up for some bad food mojo.
Well, snacking, yeah, that didn't work so well. It does not satisfy. Just makes me want to snack more. Doesn't matter if it was a small 140 calorie bag of olive oil tater chips or nuts and fruit or a wedge of cheese or a boiled egg. I just wanted MORE.
This month, I'm cutting back number of times eating. I want no more than two meals and one snack. That's the goal. Two meals, each 600 to 700 cals, and a snack only if appetite is out of bounds and I can keep to no more than 1500-1600 calories.
For some of you, what works to control appetite is a bit different, cause we're different. Though, in general, protein is the most satiating macronutrient. It really is.
BUT..for you, maybe it's high fiber that controls your appetite. Or fiber with lots of water. Or Several small meals. Or keeping out starches altogether. Or keeping out fruit altogether. Or eating more fat. Or having a lot of liquid protein. Or nuts between meals. Or hypnosis. Or meditation. Or prayer. Or a walk. Or singing. Or chatting on the phone with friends. Or sex. (That one actually worked really well in my faster losing phase. If I wanted to eat, I'd jump hubby. Voila. No more cravings.)
Whatever works that's not immoral or illegal--go for it. :D
Today, after worship service, we meet with family to celebrate Three King's Day (as it's commonly referred to down here), the Feast of the Epiphany, when the wise men from the east finally located the Christ Child (not baby, child) and presented homage and gifts. The Bible never mentions how many there were, but tradition counts three--Balthasar, Melchior, Caspar--to match the three gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh.
They traveled a long way. They were dedicated to the journey. When they found their goal, they surely went off rejoicing, a lot lighter in baggage and a lot lighter in heart.
It was worth following the star, being away from home, being exhausted from a long day's ride, day after day. It was worth bad weather and the threat of robbers. It was worth risking the wrath of a jealous, murderous Herod.
Because what awaited the end of that search was AMAZING. Miraculous. Life-changing. Eye-opening. Empowering. Satisfying to the soul.
If you're reading this long, long post, you're on a journey like mine, right? We each have that guiding star--look for it.
We each need to sustain ourselves, cause we might traverse some perilous places and it may take YEARS. YEARS AND YEARS. It may not be as easy or quick as you imagine. But it's going to be amazing.
You'll see great things, in yourself and in others. You'll experience epiphanies. It may not involve gold or myrrh or frankincense--or it might, as I often had my hubby anoint me with scented oil and pray over me on those hard, hard days--but it will involve finding treasures. You learn a lot about yourself when you overcome stuff
And setbacks? You just climb back on that camel, adjust your robes, and keep looking at and moving toward that star.
God bless on this feast day. Great things await the true seeker willing to move and change...
Be well...
Sunday is my normal weigh-in day for this blog (or Saturday or Monday when I forget). And it's Sunday, the 6th. Three Kings Day. Dia de Los Reyes. The Feast of the Epiphany. It's the 12th Day of Christmas, as well. With this, Christmas is officially over and the trees can come down.
But we'll get to that later. First, the weigh-in:
180.4
The right direction. It was 183.2 New Year's Day.
So close to my goal decade.
Interestingly, when I went to log the weight on my sidebar weight journal (see left sidebar), I wrote in "God" instead of "Goal" when I added the note about 2013: "End Goal for Year = 170 lbs" I had first typed: "End God for the Year."
That slip of the brain made me think about how some of us make weight, our bodies, our "look" and size--we make those our God. Our diet becomes our God. It consumes us and defines us and we create an idol. It reminded me to keep this in perspective. It's something that requries attention, energy, study, work. But it should never become my idol. I've seen more than a few bloggers who turn food and exercise into their idol--that's what creates and directs them in such an obssessive way that it's a bit worrisome.
And in the other extreme, there's those times we and other folks don't give a damn about what we/they eat, don't care about our health and just act immaturely or apathetically and refuse to listen to wise counsel, not our own internal wise voice or the sage words of loved ones or the helpful direction from a professional only interested in our well-being.
Both apathy and idolization about our health and food issues are sick extremes.
I just want to normalize.
I don't aim to be cut/buff/perfect. I don't aim for a size 2 or 4. Orthorexia isn't my goal. I don't want to freak if I have a deviation now and then from my plan. Only if it's a pattern, if the deviation begins to become the norm.
Normality about eating and better health from lifestyle changes--that's what I want. Not to obsess about food. Not to not care about food. Not to self-destruct. Not to idolize my body.
It may be an epiphany for you to accept that it's easy to make food a god--either worship it eating too much or thinking about it too much. Yes, you can make your body a temple or an idol--one is good, one is not.
Treating it with respect and making it work well for your life purposes: good. Valuable.
Treating it like the end-all, be-all of your self-esteem, feeding vanity along with perfect meals, feeling superior to others because you look "like this" and not "like that": not good. Bad.
I'm looking for the good path between extremes. How about you?
Anyway, on the personal front: I've had trouble bringing my calories down and getting back into the eating format/pattern/manner that I ate in my main losing phase in 2011.
This is normal.
After increasing intake, after allowing those treats and caloric foods--things like chocolate truffles, mousse made with real sugar, fried New Year's empanadillas, fried stuffed potatoes on Christmas--the body wants more of that. The brain has been brought into those old habits of pleasure and stimulation and it wants more.
What did you let yourself indulge in that made you have a hard time with appetite? Holiday pies? Fried foods? Junk drive-thru foods? Now, you will have to pay the price.
Like junkies, there's gonna be a bit of withdrawal. The brain does want the "fix."
Control is harder. There it is. I have to get through the "pulling in the reins" phase, and it's gonna be hard and hurt a bit, but I remember that the easier phase comes after. When the brain calms down, the body adjusts, the stomach shrinks, the habit of control reasserts.
It will come. If you're going through this same adjustment phase, just hold on. It will come.
Like I did in 2010 when I began, I'm gradually decreasing intake. I'm not in strongly restricted zone yet. I found for me, stages works best.
In fact, some dietitians advise slowly readjusting. Instead of slashing calories radically--say 2500 or 3000 or 4000 to 1400 or 1200 or 900--some do better just to ease off the problem foods and higher calories down to better eating and lower calories in steps. Steps. Bit by bit. Not from feast to starve, which can be jarring or lead to a binge. No, rather, it may help to go from overeating or bad eating to more normal eating, then from more normal eating to moderate caloric restriction or deficit, then consider dipping into stricter calorie-deficit dieting levels.
Granted, there are exeptions. There are folks who do great slashing away and feel totally in control right off with tiny portions.
Given the blowback of binges I see round about when some folks try to do that, I say give the 'steps system' a go. Bit by bit. Cut back, change, refine, bit by bit.
On the matter of epiphanies, revelations: One of those books that delivered an epiphany for me in 2010 and made it possible for me to get a grip on my binges (I haven't binged since May 2010) was THE END OF OVEREATING, which opened my eyes to how hyperpalatable foods can send folks into chronic overeating. Those types of foods do set me off. can literally make me go into this frantic thing where I shovel, shovel, shovel food. If I eat them again daily, consistently, that will happen again. I know it.
I don't allow that. (Or haven't yet.) The daily indulgence in the hyperpalatable.
But I have allowed intrusions more often than is healthful for ME.
During my illness and holiday weeks late in 2012, I allowed some of those hyperpalatable foods (ie, some salted olive oil potato chips, sugary treats, fried and salted foods with carbs--the triumvirate of overeating (fat with starch with sugar.) Not every day. Not every meal. But enough that it's done something to my brain and tongue and desires again.
I felt my appetite increase. I felt the monster begin to return.
How's your appetite beast? What are you doing to manage it?
For me, managing that beast involves refusing to eat hyperpalatable foods, cooking more at home, keeping tons of fresh produce in the house, drinking lots of fluids, increasing protein (even using whey between meals), and moderating carbs/starches (for me, that moderation of carbs/starches means, ideally, 80 to 120 carbs a day, and definitley no more than 150. I don't do well on VLC--my thyroid rebels--but I don't do well on higher carb/starch--my appetite wakes up like mad).
I also do better with two good-sized meals than many mini-meals. My stomach stretching some to contain fluids and food, sending those signals for satiety, that system sets me up for happy hours of non-food-thinking.
During the last two months of last year, I went back to snacking. I was sick. Often couldn't bother to get up and fix meals while hubby was at work. Didn't wanna do delivery and set myself up for some bad food mojo.
Well, snacking, yeah, that didn't work so well. It does not satisfy. Just makes me want to snack more. Doesn't matter if it was a small 140 calorie bag of olive oil tater chips or nuts and fruit or a wedge of cheese or a boiled egg. I just wanted MORE.
This month, I'm cutting back number of times eating. I want no more than two meals and one snack. That's the goal. Two meals, each 600 to 700 cals, and a snack only if appetite is out of bounds and I can keep to no more than 1500-1600 calories.
For some of you, what works to control appetite is a bit different, cause we're different. Though, in general, protein is the most satiating macronutrient. It really is.
BUT..for you, maybe it's high fiber that controls your appetite. Or fiber with lots of water. Or Several small meals. Or keeping out starches altogether. Or keeping out fruit altogether. Or eating more fat. Or having a lot of liquid protein. Or nuts between meals. Or hypnosis. Or meditation. Or prayer. Or a walk. Or singing. Or chatting on the phone with friends. Or sex. (That one actually worked really well in my faster losing phase. If I wanted to eat, I'd jump hubby. Voila. No more cravings.)
Whatever works that's not immoral or illegal--go for it. :D
Today, after worship service, we meet with family to celebrate Three King's Day (as it's commonly referred to down here), the Feast of the Epiphany, when the wise men from the east finally located the Christ Child (not baby, child) and presented homage and gifts. The Bible never mentions how many there were, but tradition counts three--Balthasar, Melchior, Caspar--to match the three gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh.
They traveled a long way. They were dedicated to the journey. When they found their goal, they surely went off rejoicing, a lot lighter in baggage and a lot lighter in heart.
It was worth following the star, being away from home, being exhausted from a long day's ride, day after day. It was worth bad weather and the threat of robbers. It was worth risking the wrath of a jealous, murderous Herod.
Because what awaited the end of that search was AMAZING. Miraculous. Life-changing. Eye-opening. Empowering. Satisfying to the soul.
If you're reading this long, long post, you're on a journey like mine, right? We each have that guiding star--look for it.
We each need to sustain ourselves, cause we might traverse some perilous places and it may take YEARS. YEARS AND YEARS. It may not be as easy or quick as you imagine. But it's going to be amazing.
You'll see great things, in yourself and in others. You'll experience epiphanies. It may not involve gold or myrrh or frankincense--or it might, as I often had my hubby anoint me with scented oil and pray over me on those hard, hard days--but it will involve finding treasures. You learn a lot about yourself when you overcome stuff
And setbacks? You just climb back on that camel, adjust your robes, and keep looking at and moving toward that star.
God bless on this feast day. Great things await the true seeker willing to move and change...
Be well...
Friday, August 17, 2012
Portion Creep, Weight Creep, and the Big Wake-Up Call....and the Good (bread) Plates Come to the Rescue. :D
Um, well, dang. Today, the scale said, "Hey, you're gaining too much weight, Missy."
174.4
The lowest was, for a brief few days, 169.8. Then back to the 170s.
I've had a bad case of portion creep. Or portion dump. Appetite came back with a vengeance with the release of tension once hubby found a nice job.
I've just been dumping food on my plate and going to town.
So, today, I went to the cabinet and got out the gold-rimmed heirloom Bavarian china that's decades old, plates I inherited from my mother-in-law. I figured if I was gonna eat less, I was gonna eat it in style.
Breakfast today got served on very small, very shiny/gleamy/pretty plates that are about 6 or 7 inches wide (though the serving area is only like 5 inches, the rest is rim. They're pretty much bread plates. Or VERY TINY salad or appetizer plates.
Here's how I put the pretties to use: One for my protein. One for my fruit.
To keep the beautiful vibe going, I had my coffee in a matching ivory and gold-rimmed (though not Bavarian) Noritake teacup (so pretty) and Ralph Lauren saucer (so classy). I had acquired those years ago at a big sale where mismatched stuff got hugely discounted over at Macy's. It was a steal. The Noritake cup had no saucer. The Lauren saucer had no cup. But the pattern and colors matched, so I snapped them up super cheap. Less than 15 bucks for both, real china, real gold. SHAZAM! I use them when I am in the mood to jazz up my coffee or tea.
Those small plates means not a lot of food, but lots of eye-nourishment to help make up for it.
I figure my first meal of the day had crept up to 800 calories in the last couple weeks.
Today, it was 420. Much better.
I need to maintain or reverse the gain and lose some more again. The time of portion insanity ends...today....
Are you letting portion creep into your life?
Are you using old dingy plates?
Make your smaller portions prettier!
Use color or go get one of those "special china" pieces and use it, cause YOU are special, and once we're dead, the china does us no good. Use it now.
And on we go, in the fight against fat.
Next project--tackle the sloth and get back to movement. AKA "Where have my lovely muscles gone?"
Take care, all. Be well...
174.4
The lowest was, for a brief few days, 169.8. Then back to the 170s.
I've had a bad case of portion creep. Or portion dump. Appetite came back with a vengeance with the release of tension once hubby found a nice job.
I've just been dumping food on my plate and going to town.
So, today, I went to the cabinet and got out the gold-rimmed heirloom Bavarian china that's decades old, plates I inherited from my mother-in-law. I figured if I was gonna eat less, I was gonna eat it in style.
Breakfast today got served on very small, very shiny/gleamy/pretty plates that are about 6 or 7 inches wide (though the serving area is only like 5 inches, the rest is rim. They're pretty much bread plates. Or VERY TINY salad or appetizer plates.
Here's how I put the pretties to use: One for my protein. One for my fruit.
To keep the beautiful vibe going, I had my coffee in a matching ivory and gold-rimmed (though not Bavarian) Noritake teacup (so pretty) and Ralph Lauren saucer (so classy). I had acquired those years ago at a big sale where mismatched stuff got hugely discounted over at Macy's. It was a steal. The Noritake cup had no saucer. The Lauren saucer had no cup. But the pattern and colors matched, so I snapped them up super cheap. Less than 15 bucks for both, real china, real gold. SHAZAM! I use them when I am in the mood to jazz up my coffee or tea.
Those small plates means not a lot of food, but lots of eye-nourishment to help make up for it.
I figure my first meal of the day had crept up to 800 calories in the last couple weeks.
Today, it was 420. Much better.
I need to maintain or reverse the gain and lose some more again. The time of portion insanity ends...today....
Are you letting portion creep into your life?
Are you using old dingy plates?
Make your smaller portions prettier!
Use color or go get one of those "special china" pieces and use it, cause YOU are special, and once we're dead, the china does us no good. Use it now.
And on we go, in the fight against fat.
Next project--tackle the sloth and get back to movement. AKA "Where have my lovely muscles gone?"
Take care, all. Be well...
Thursday, August 2, 2012
The Ease with Which New Habits Fade and Old Habits Reimpose...it's Scary! AND Some Pics of Me Now at 170 lbs.
I'm still alive. :D Stress is a daily thing and hubby is still hunting for work, but we took time yesterday to enjoy a beach worship service.
The sand fleas and mosquitoes were fierce, and before we were done, lots of scratching going on--blame it on not enough wind, a flattish sea, and the stagnantish water from the Intracoastal. The strip where the service went on was a narrow bit of beach between Intracoastal and the Atlantic.
The pastor said it was usually fine when the wind blew well. Pelicans and seagulls flew overhead and beachgoers laughed and bathed. Some swimming and paddleboarding. Some fishing off the pier. Nice to see some roped off areas where sea turtles were being protected prior to hatching. :D
I sat on a nylon bag on the sand and looked at how I've lost muscle off my legs. Seriously, I have not exercised in more than a month, and it shows. I feel less dense. I feel less strong. Bad old habit reimposed. And now I have to remotivate myself to move and recreate the nicer shape/density I had. It's tough. Nearly back to being the old slothful me. Not good.
Yes, it's THAT easy to get out of good habits.
Hubby sat behind me, much less attacked by the wee bitey things. I guess I was his wall of protection. They were too busy munching on me.
After we closed the service with a worship song--"His love never fails"--I headed to the water to get some saltwater on my bites. I rolled up my loose capris and splashed water on arms and legs and then just played a bit.
It was a lovely respite from studying, writing, job hunting, worrying. Yay for sun and water and seabirds and songs and kids laughing and encouraging words and an amazing moon rising over the ocean. (I didn't get a good pic, sigh).
Sunday I was 170.4, and then had a family thanksgiving dinner (a relative was healing well after a life-threatening event and ICU stay). I ate traditional Cuban fare--meaning not a whole lotta veggies, lots of starch, and flan. First time I have a really sugary regular dessert in ages. I forgot how good that crap is. ; )
I'm at 170.0 today. Appetite returned to normal (not binge normal, just normal for the last couple years), and I'm back to my two meals and roughly 1600 calories, not the 500-800 when the anxiety first hit. My lowest was 168.6, and then I bounced up to 172 and back down, depending on the salt level of my foods.
So, my body is mushier sans nearly daily exercise, sans Pilates. My appetite is normalized. And I keep the faith that good things will come.
But I definitely need to set goals again for movement and not mess up after good progress.
Habits die hard if they're bad, and die easy if they're good sometimes. So, we must be on the alert. Always. Always....
God bless. Be well.
 |
| My legs, loose capris, and the gospel of Luke |
The sand fleas and mosquitoes were fierce, and before we were done, lots of scratching going on--blame it on not enough wind, a flattish sea, and the stagnantish water from the Intracoastal. The strip where the service went on was a narrow bit of beach between Intracoastal and the Atlantic.
The pastor said it was usually fine when the wind blew well. Pelicans and seagulls flew overhead and beachgoers laughed and bathed. Some swimming and paddleboarding. Some fishing off the pier. Nice to see some roped off areas where sea turtles were being protected prior to hatching. :D
I sat on a nylon bag on the sand and looked at how I've lost muscle off my legs. Seriously, I have not exercised in more than a month, and it shows. I feel less dense. I feel less strong. Bad old habit reimposed. And now I have to remotivate myself to move and recreate the nicer shape/density I had. It's tough. Nearly back to being the old slothful me. Not good.
Yes, it's THAT easy to get out of good habits.
Hubby sat behind me, much less attacked by the wee bitey things. I guess I was his wall of protection. They were too busy munching on me.
 |
| Hubby with the Dania Beach pier behind him |
After we closed the service with a worship song--"His love never fails"--I headed to the water to get some saltwater on my bites. I rolled up my loose capris and splashed water on arms and legs and then just played a bit.
 |
| beach joy |
It was a lovely respite from studying, writing, job hunting, worrying. Yay for sun and water and seabirds and songs and kids laughing and encouraging words and an amazing moon rising over the ocean. (I didn't get a good pic, sigh).
Sunday I was 170.4, and then had a family thanksgiving dinner (a relative was healing well after a life-threatening event and ICU stay). I ate traditional Cuban fare--meaning not a whole lotta veggies, lots of starch, and flan. First time I have a really sugary regular dessert in ages. I forgot how good that crap is. ; )
I'm at 170.0 today. Appetite returned to normal (not binge normal, just normal for the last couple years), and I'm back to my two meals and roughly 1600 calories, not the 500-800 when the anxiety first hit. My lowest was 168.6, and then I bounced up to 172 and back down, depending on the salt level of my foods.
So, my body is mushier sans nearly daily exercise, sans Pilates. My appetite is normalized. And I keep the faith that good things will come.
But I definitely need to set goals again for movement and not mess up after good progress.
Habits die hard if they're bad, and die easy if they're good sometimes. So, we must be on the alert. Always. Always....
God bless. Be well.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Worth Reading...cause Calories Do Count!
In Defence of the Calories
He takes on several of the "arguments" against counting calories for weight loss.
excerpt:
He takes on several of the "arguments" against counting calories for weight loss.
excerpt:
Anti-Calorie argument #3: Fat people eat no more than skinny peopleFor years this was simply assumed based on observation, anecdote and poor science. We’ve all seen and heard the lamentations of those who “barely eat” and can’t lose an ounce while their skinny friend eats baconators for breakfast and never gains. Studies appeared to substantiate our observations when subjects were asked to record their food intake…that is until they actually decided to see for themselves and monitor them more closely. And guess what? Overweight people are prone to underreporting food intake – to the tune of up to 47% in some studies!
So for someone claiming to eat 2000 calories was actually consuming almost 3000 calories. At the risk of sounding obvious – that’s a pretty big difference.Again this plays into the “it’s not your fault” warmth and fuzziness that Gary Taubes and others are so fond of. To quote my friend and colleague Leigh Peele – you WANT it to be your “fault”. It doesn’t mean dwell on it, beat yourself up over it… it means you are in control and can do something about it.
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
A Passel of Pictures, A Pound That Prickles, A Pack of Paragraphs To Prime the Artistic Pump...and a Book for the Calorie Curious..
Just a various-items type of update, cause this is a transitional week for me, trying to do a lot of things at once while finding the balance. I'm not handling transitioning great, but I intend to get my footing!
I do feel like smiling and laughing again. Father's Day weekend pics are PROOF!
I felt better--mood, energy--but not 100%. I'll get there. (God,
please.) I wore a dress that had been sitting in my closet for months.
It fit a little loose, but was comfy and girly. These are genuine
smiles, so I'm hoping the remnants of the blues just fade away:
I stepped on the scale today after the weekend of eating a bit more: 181.6
Hm.
Well, like I said, wobbly transition. Exercise has been....laughably minimal.
I downloaded THIS BOOK to my Kindle. I figure it will remind me to keep on top of calories, as maintenance requires it. And ease off the sugar-free chocolate. The preview for it was very interesting, and I like science-ey stuff.
The writing: Well, I sat down and wrote nine paragraphs. Okay, so some were only one-liners. But hey, I wrote. Yay, me.
Doesn't sound like much, does it? But nine paragraphs raise a story question, introduce a character with a special trait, add a deviation from the norm, and maybe make you want to read more, even if it's preliminary, warm-the-brain-up crap after 5 years of writing pretty much bupkis.
Behold the rough crap:
Yes, my rusty brain is being asked to create. It's not easy going from nil movement to acceleration creatively; but it was actually, I dunno, let's say I felt this sense of, "Oh, that's right, this can feel good and tingly!"
The paragraphs may or may not be relevant. It may simply be an 'oiling the machinery' exercise. But it still felt good to overcome inertia and WRITE SOMETHING. My intention is to go back to one of my two preferred fantasy manuscripts and enter those worlds again. But this might end up a story. Ya never know.
Okay, that's it for the update. Be well, folks. Let me know if you get the book! (Or if you're writing fiction, too.)
Oh, and you may note that I changed the blog's name and subtitle. It's no longer Two Years to Happy Weight After....
I do feel like smiling and laughing again. Father's Day weekend pics are PROOF!
 | ||||
| My hubby (with halo) and me. I really love what the wind did to my hair here. I wonder how I'd replicate this retro look? Hair combs? French braid? I like it, though. |
 |
| Windy-curly smile. Jungle Red lips. |
 |
| Love the stone with my dress and hair My signature colors: red, black, white. |
I stepped on the scale today after the weekend of eating a bit more: 181.6
Hm.
Well, like I said, wobbly transition. Exercise has been....laughably minimal.
I downloaded THIS BOOK to my Kindle. I figure it will remind me to keep on top of calories, as maintenance requires it. And ease off the sugar-free chocolate. The preview for it was very interesting, and I like science-ey stuff.
The writing: Well, I sat down and wrote nine paragraphs. Okay, so some were only one-liners. But hey, I wrote. Yay, me.
Doesn't sound like much, does it? But nine paragraphs raise a story question, introduce a character with a special trait, add a deviation from the norm, and maybe make you want to read more, even if it's preliminary, warm-the-brain-up crap after 5 years of writing pretty much bupkis.
Behold the rough crap:
Luisa was used to seeing what others missed. Hurrying to the office on an early summer morning, she couldn’t help but notice them.The beautiful ones faced eastward, every single one.Whether dressed in suits and ties or shorts and tees, whether masculine or feminine or that intriguing androgyny that smiled from the space between, all sat or leaned or stood in postures of expectation. This one stood bowing a bit forward on muscular feet, and the only thing that kept him from tumbling into the gutter was a tanned hand balanced lightly on a parking meter. That one with sat with a Cuban pastry untouched on a paper plate in front of her, head tilted to the right, utterly white hair a frothy cascade against the black of her black jacket. Another sat with elbows on bare knees, an expression less patient than his comrades. And that one there, he (or perhaps she) paused in sipping her (or his) latte, lips parted, as if already caught by some wonderful matter only they-- these assorted staring beauties --could see.
They did not read newspapers or novels or the faces of passersby hurrying to work, as Luisa had been. They did not type or swipe on gleaming gadgets du jour.They stood out, even among the usual mix of attractive residents and workers. They drew attention, and didn't care. They ignored everything other than what they look at that way…east.Luisa stopped walking--fine, so she was late already, a few more minutes didn't matter-- and followed their gazes.Nothing struck her as stare-worthy in the regular sights from the parking garage to her office: inviting eateries and freshly-opened shops catering to the younger, urban, vigorously trendy crowd that had moved in over the last couple years. Nouveau or vegan or organic or fusion whatnot.Nothing out of the ordinary.But there they were, those exquisite creatures with their unwavering attention to--what?
Yes, my rusty brain is being asked to create. It's not easy going from nil movement to acceleration creatively; but it was actually, I dunno, let's say I felt this sense of, "Oh, that's right, this can feel good and tingly!"
The paragraphs may or may not be relevant. It may simply be an 'oiling the machinery' exercise. But it still felt good to overcome inertia and WRITE SOMETHING. My intention is to go back to one of my two preferred fantasy manuscripts and enter those worlds again. But this might end up a story. Ya never know.
Okay, that's it for the update. Be well, folks. Let me know if you get the book! (Or if you're writing fiction, too.)
Oh, and you may note that I changed the blog's name and subtitle. It's no longer Two Years to Happy Weight After....
Friday, May 25, 2012
Formally Tracking Again....and an apology with some comments on "whining" and what I mean by it...
Okay, so I haven't tracked, walked, or really been disciplined in a couple weeks plus.
Actually, I have only mentally tracked for months.
So, as an exercise in discipline for today--since what I need is to get that BACK, the discipline--I started tracking again. Today. With Breakfast: 480 cals. 27 carbs.
It was a weird feeling entering each item I ate and seeing the data add up. I spent over a year faithfully tracking, until it became burdensome, and I dropped it. Now, it feels nostalgic. I remember the 268 pound me really facing the long journey and deciding, okay, this is one tool. One.
I remember how much I learned using it, though it was a pain in the kiester, as a lot of things requiring faithfulness and discipline are.
I haven't weighed in days. I haven't even mentally tallied calories in days. I have felt such apathy and sadness. But today, I begin small. I track.
Ya know, I feel a little better. Just doing this little old "diet discipline" thing made me remember. It was so much harder and sadder being morbidly obese. But I remember the drive and fear and hopefulness of my furiously intense tracking days. That was a good thing to remember. How much I wanted to be...here.
~~~~~~
I apologize if I offended anyone with yesterday's post.
It wasn't meant to say we cannot gripe or whine on our blogs, which of course, that's one of the reasons for HAVING a blog, to be able to be ourselves. It's not meant to say our diet journeys don't matter. Health matters. It's meant to say we matter more than the diet, and other things matter more in perspective, so not to let our weights be the determinant of our being, our feelings, our outlook. That makes us slaves, in a way.
My feelings as blogged yesterday came from my observations of a certain distortion that can happen with diet bloggers: How a pound up can make folks feel worthless and like failures and the self-hate that follows. How that pound takes on a meaning beyond what it should have. The lack of perspective.
A needed vent, whine is therapeutic.
Speaking of some negative things: necessary.
When the whines go on and one, chronically, and the scale is master and lord, one's perspective surely can become screwed up. Badly screwed up. (Been there.)
My tracker, my scale, calculations of BMI, and so forth--these are tools. And they should never rule or define me. EVER. I told myself this in 2010, and I still tell myself this.
Morbidly obese me had as much value as not morbidly obese me.
But morbidly obese me couldn't move or feel as good or have the renewed dreams not obese me can, simply cause I have better ability to FUNCTION in my day to day. And the growth in self-worth isn't cosmetic. It's because I achieved something I wanted to. I wanted to NOT be obese. I wanted to become master of my food, not let food master me.
The previous post, partly born of depression, partly of frustration at the self-hating from the blogging sphere over failures, was meant to say, "Keep perspective." Hating ourselves (and in some cases out there hating OTHERS) for failing to meet slimming goals is counter-productive and, yes, adds to the negative power in the world. We need to cut that crap out.
Even as we learn to discipline ourselves, we need to forgive ourselves when we fail. Not for self-indulgence's sake--cause if there's anything we overeaters don't need is an excuse to self-indulge-- but for the sake of being humane in our journey. It's easy to lose that perspective.
And when that number can ruin our day and alter our sense of self, we've lost perspective. It's time for a corrective at that point.
(It goes both ways. If a pound lost can make the radical sunshine reaction change in your day, like the pound gained can put a huge black cloud over it, there's some calibration issues with one's emotions. It's like the scale-mediated bipolar syndrome or something.)
So far, I haven't had a number ruin my day in a long while, though I may not like the number. Though it may not be my goal number. I look at the feedback and try to do better, but I refuse to be self-hating anymore about weight. I spent too many years--decades!--doing that. What did it get me? Diddly squat other than low self-esteem.
While I disagree with the Heath-At-Any-Size folks on some particulars--sorry, me at 300 and 400 and 500 pounds could hardly be called healthy, and I'm not buying that line--I do believe we ought to be loved, respected, and valued AT ANY SIZE. Even by ourselves. And that's really hard to do, but I believe it should be part of the program as we work on HEALTH and getting to different size.
Maybe we should ask about the motivations and the outcomes:
Is my whine/vent about a frustration? Is it about self-hate? Is it ongoing and fruitless? Is it therapeutic, a release?
These are questions I will ask myself. And maybe you should ask, too.
If whining is persistent and goes nowhere in terms of progress, internally and externally, then that whining is a mental rut or self-indulgence, the latter of which makes it a lack of virtue or, if really chronic, a character flaw , not a release or a vent.
For Christians, it would qualify as a sin, perhaps, at that point. Just take a tour of what Scripture has to say on whining, complaining, murmuring. It may apply. It may not. This requires self-examination.
With a caution: Just because a thing is "permissible", doesn't mean it's beneficial. That which makes you FEEL better for the moment may actually be keeping you from being built up into what you want to be.
I've been there; I know that where my mind and spirit abided, in times past--and I'm talking pre-2010-- were BAD places of much complaint and some despair and a whole lotta self-loathing. If it gets to that point, we who were told that no matter the situation"in everything, give thanks" need to cut that out. It's a command.
It's a simple fact to say, "I chose to eat X and it was off plan. I feel sad about that. I feel frustrated and wanna SCREAM. I'm considering why I made these decisions, in these situations, so maybe I can have strategies to better fit those temptations. Here's where maybe I went wrong and can do better, yadda X and yadda Y... And though I feel sad, I know I can learn from this. I can do better. I won't let this cut me up and get to me. I will fix this somehow."
That's not whining. That's assessing. That's confessing. That's learning. That's keeping hope. That's something that can lead to self-work that is productive, I think.
Whining--the whining I refer to, not the occasional vent--is when there's this sort of persistent sense of "woe is me" going on and on on a blog, a repetitive thing, a habitual thing:
...this thing happened and that thing happened and another thing happened and it's not my fault I overate cause I was stressed and then I got tempted by birthday cake and I couldn't resist and then my sister made this and I ate that and why do they tempt me and how come people don't support me and help me stay on my plan and then I went to get donuts cause my neighbor was mean to me again and really I'm just so lazy that I can't bring myself to walk which isn't my fault cause it's hot and there are mosquitoes and I get itchy, but I should go to the gym, but I didn't, cause the gym people stare and were smirking at me last time, and it's the worst, and I hate that I'm like this and I hate myself, and when I hate myself, I just wanna eat more...
I don't see how that helps much, other than the venting aspect, if for some that helps. And it may.
BUT, is it a pattern? Vent and vent and whine and whine and...then what? It can become another sort of addiction, maybe. Addicted to the vent-whine and the pats on the back that can follow. The sympathy addiction.
Which helps precisely how?
I'm seriously asking that. If it helps, then do it. I can't say don't do something that is leading you down the right road, helping you make progress.
I just wonder at the follow-up: And then what. Does it help? Does it really lead to progress? Or is it just about FEELING the moment. And then..no fruit. A dead tree.
If it bears fruit and helps: do it.
If it has not helped and you're still stuck and whining: Please, find another way. It's a dead tree that can't nourish you. Why keep watering it?
So, if what I wrote yesterday hurt your feelings in any way, or sounded too bossy or critical, I'm sorry. It was not meant to do that. It really was not.
(And I hope you were brave enough to read the story.)
Today, I'm still fighting for joy and self-control and to be well...
You, keep fighting, too, and find joy, and be well, too.
Actually, I have only mentally tracked for months.
So, as an exercise in discipline for today--since what I need is to get that BACK, the discipline--I started tracking again. Today. With Breakfast: 480 cals. 27 carbs.
It was a weird feeling entering each item I ate and seeing the data add up. I spent over a year faithfully tracking, until it became burdensome, and I dropped it. Now, it feels nostalgic. I remember the 268 pound me really facing the long journey and deciding, okay, this is one tool. One.
I remember how much I learned using it, though it was a pain in the kiester, as a lot of things requiring faithfulness and discipline are.
I haven't weighed in days. I haven't even mentally tallied calories in days. I have felt such apathy and sadness. But today, I begin small. I track.
Ya know, I feel a little better. Just doing this little old "diet discipline" thing made me remember. It was so much harder and sadder being morbidly obese. But I remember the drive and fear and hopefulness of my furiously intense tracking days. That was a good thing to remember. How much I wanted to be...here.
~~~~~~
I apologize if I offended anyone with yesterday's post.
It wasn't meant to say we cannot gripe or whine on our blogs, which of course, that's one of the reasons for HAVING a blog, to be able to be ourselves. It's not meant to say our diet journeys don't matter. Health matters. It's meant to say we matter more than the diet, and other things matter more in perspective, so not to let our weights be the determinant of our being, our feelings, our outlook. That makes us slaves, in a way.
My feelings as blogged yesterday came from my observations of a certain distortion that can happen with diet bloggers: How a pound up can make folks feel worthless and like failures and the self-hate that follows. How that pound takes on a meaning beyond what it should have. The lack of perspective.
A needed vent, whine is therapeutic.
Speaking of some negative things: necessary.
When the whines go on and one, chronically, and the scale is master and lord, one's perspective surely can become screwed up. Badly screwed up. (Been there.)
My tracker, my scale, calculations of BMI, and so forth--these are tools. And they should never rule or define me. EVER. I told myself this in 2010, and I still tell myself this.
Morbidly obese me had as much value as not morbidly obese me.
But morbidly obese me couldn't move or feel as good or have the renewed dreams not obese me can, simply cause I have better ability to FUNCTION in my day to day. And the growth in self-worth isn't cosmetic. It's because I achieved something I wanted to. I wanted to NOT be obese. I wanted to become master of my food, not let food master me.
The previous post, partly born of depression, partly of frustration at the self-hating from the blogging sphere over failures, was meant to say, "Keep perspective." Hating ourselves (and in some cases out there hating OTHERS) for failing to meet slimming goals is counter-productive and, yes, adds to the negative power in the world. We need to cut that crap out.
Even as we learn to discipline ourselves, we need to forgive ourselves when we fail. Not for self-indulgence's sake--cause if there's anything we overeaters don't need is an excuse to self-indulge-- but for the sake of being humane in our journey. It's easy to lose that perspective.
And when that number can ruin our day and alter our sense of self, we've lost perspective. It's time for a corrective at that point.
(It goes both ways. If a pound lost can make the radical sunshine reaction change in your day, like the pound gained can put a huge black cloud over it, there's some calibration issues with one's emotions. It's like the scale-mediated bipolar syndrome or something.)
So far, I haven't had a number ruin my day in a long while, though I may not like the number. Though it may not be my goal number. I look at the feedback and try to do better, but I refuse to be self-hating anymore about weight. I spent too many years--decades!--doing that. What did it get me? Diddly squat other than low self-esteem.
While I disagree with the Heath-At-Any-Size folks on some particulars--sorry, me at 300 and 400 and 500 pounds could hardly be called healthy, and I'm not buying that line--I do believe we ought to be loved, respected, and valued AT ANY SIZE. Even by ourselves. And that's really hard to do, but I believe it should be part of the program as we work on HEALTH and getting to different size.
Maybe we should ask about the motivations and the outcomes:
Is my whine/vent about a frustration? Is it about self-hate? Is it ongoing and fruitless? Is it therapeutic, a release?
These are questions I will ask myself. And maybe you should ask, too.
If whining is persistent and goes nowhere in terms of progress, internally and externally, then that whining is a mental rut or self-indulgence, the latter of which makes it a lack of virtue or, if really chronic, a character flaw , not a release or a vent.
For Christians, it would qualify as a sin, perhaps, at that point. Just take a tour of what Scripture has to say on whining, complaining, murmuring. It may apply. It may not. This requires self-examination.
With a caution: Just because a thing is "permissible", doesn't mean it's beneficial. That which makes you FEEL better for the moment may actually be keeping you from being built up into what you want to be.
I've been there; I know that where my mind and spirit abided, in times past--and I'm talking pre-2010-- were BAD places of much complaint and some despair and a whole lotta self-loathing. If it gets to that point, we who were told that no matter the situation"in everything, give thanks" need to cut that out. It's a command.
It's a simple fact to say, "I chose to eat X and it was off plan. I feel sad about that. I feel frustrated and wanna SCREAM. I'm considering why I made these decisions, in these situations, so maybe I can have strategies to better fit those temptations. Here's where maybe I went wrong and can do better, yadda X and yadda Y... And though I feel sad, I know I can learn from this. I can do better. I won't let this cut me up and get to me. I will fix this somehow."
That's not whining. That's assessing. That's confessing. That's learning. That's keeping hope. That's something that can lead to self-work that is productive, I think.
Whining--the whining I refer to, not the occasional vent--is when there's this sort of persistent sense of "woe is me" going on and on on a blog, a repetitive thing, a habitual thing:
...this thing happened and that thing happened and another thing happened and it's not my fault I overate cause I was stressed and then I got tempted by birthday cake and I couldn't resist and then my sister made this and I ate that and why do they tempt me and how come people don't support me and help me stay on my plan and then I went to get donuts cause my neighbor was mean to me again and really I'm just so lazy that I can't bring myself to walk which isn't my fault cause it's hot and there are mosquitoes and I get itchy, but I should go to the gym, but I didn't, cause the gym people stare and were smirking at me last time, and it's the worst, and I hate that I'm like this and I hate myself, and when I hate myself, I just wanna eat more...
I don't see how that helps much, other than the venting aspect, if for some that helps. And it may.
BUT, is it a pattern? Vent and vent and whine and whine and...then what? It can become another sort of addiction, maybe. Addicted to the vent-whine and the pats on the back that can follow. The sympathy addiction.
Which helps precisely how?
I'm seriously asking that. If it helps, then do it. I can't say don't do something that is leading you down the right road, helping you make progress.
I just wonder at the follow-up: And then what. Does it help? Does it really lead to progress? Or is it just about FEELING the moment. And then..no fruit. A dead tree.
If it bears fruit and helps: do it.
If it has not helped and you're still stuck and whining: Please, find another way. It's a dead tree that can't nourish you. Why keep watering it?
So, if what I wrote yesterday hurt your feelings in any way, or sounded too bossy or critical, I'm sorry. It was not meant to do that. It really was not.
(And I hope you were brave enough to read the story.)
Today, I'm still fighting for joy and self-control and to be well...
You, keep fighting, too, and find joy, and be well, too.
Monday, April 9, 2012
Ready for Summer: Update #2, Easter Sunday Park Workout Edition! With Pics! :D
Tanita-San: 177.8
Waist: 34.75 Last Week:
178.6
34.75
Start of Challenge:
182.4
waist: 35
I made my week's goal of being under 178, as well as my initial challenge ongoing-goal of at least 1/2 pound loss per week. I had actually touched 177.4 one day this past week, but then it bobbled back up. Still....Me so happy!!!
I was able to use AGAIN my Vera Bradley "reward purses"--a shoulder bag and a tote in a matching floral-- that I gave myself back when I first went under 180. I had to put them back to "off limits" after my regain. They're both back in purse rotation now. ...heh heh....I took the tote to the park. :D
And I met the other challenge goal for the week:
Mini-challenge for the week: try a different workout
I guess the activities for Sunday qualify: I played, consecutively, catch/pitch, frisbee, volleyball (netless), and some badminton (netless). It wasn't a DVD or planned workout--I just figured I'd do active things other than what I normally do (stretch, Pilates, dancing, walking).
A couple pics hubby took during the pitch/catch portion follow --and my right arm muscles are sore today, I may add, so I really did try to make it "work", and I feel a slight soreness in my hamstrings, too. Which activity that's from, who knows? I jumped and did a bit of running and bent down a lot to retrieve uncaught balls/frisbees/shuttlecocks/etc~~~~
 |
| Look at the glove: I caught the ball! |
 |
| I'm actually not a bad pitcher for a middle-aged dame who was never athletic, ever. My nephew, who plays baseball in school, complimented my pitches and the strength in my throws. :D |
It was interesting to watch the activity--or rather INactivity--behavior at the park.
While the adults mostly sat in the shade and ate and chatted, the kids/teens and a few of the fathers were lightly active (helping kids with kites/strings mostly, and later, a few, after some digesting, kicking a soccer ball around).
The women did squat. Seriously. I saw no women in the neighboring groups doing a thing that involved sporty movement. And many were carrying loads of belly fat. I can see more diabetes in our national future....
Anyway, Principally, it was the kids playing, adults eating while sedentary. And yes, lots of obese and overweight folks around (including me, I'm overweight!).
It was kind of nice to notice hubby and I--both in our fifties--were outliers: Old peops moving around and sweating. I want us to keep at that.
Conclusion: We need to move more in the US. Outings to parks should include not just barbecuing and drinking of caloric beverages, but some sports activity to burn that off.
Other challenge stuff:
Fluids were fine. Calories were on target 5/7 days. I had 1800 calories on Easter, including ham, cheese, gluten-free pasta and veggie salad, and lots of fruit.
Today, I got my blood drawn for my next appointment with my endocrinologist. Hoping my thyroid numbers are very good--and I do feel improved in all the areas that were bothering me when my TSH went bonkers. :D So...we'll see...
The next mini-challenge isn't announced until Wednesday. Hope I remember to go check on it. :-/
NSV: Not really aware of one, unless looking at my reflection in a store window and thinking, "Dang, you look hot today, baby!" counts. I get bummed sometimes about the loose skin and stuff, but that day, I felt beautiful and got lots of compliments. I think attitude really helps, too.We need to cultivate a bit more self-appreciation on the journey, even when we're not "there" yet..even when we're older..even when we're crinklier...even when we've still got body issues.
Goals I hope to have achieved by next RfS check-in:
2 strengthening, 4 cardio workouts
1500 calories a day
10 glasses of fluids daily
And be at least 1/2 pound less than this weigh-in (ie, 177.2 or less).
Happy new week to all. Be well...
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Fight The Fat Remotivation Day 7 and Eve to Easter Midweek Update #13: Starting to Turn This Boat Around! And My Ready for Summer Freggie Pick for "Try Something New"
Tanita-san: 181.2
Okay, one good caloric day under my belt at last. This is a bigger victory than it sounds, as I've been lax, with 1700-1800 being more the norm. I kept my starch down. As expected, some water loss shows up on the scale.
Yesterday, I stayed under 1500, just a bit, but under. :D
I remember when 1400 calories seemed a cinch to keep to. Sigh.
One thing I learned early in the journey, in my readings first (I love me studies), and then in experience, is that it takes a while to adapt to lowering calories. And if you eat higher calories, then it's harder to readapt. So, I'm in the readapting to a lower caloric state.
I'll tell you, I envy the folks who can eat 1800, 2000 or more calories and be lean. Lucky you. :D
I want to keep fighting and get back my "adaptation".
On the movement front: I took a rest day yesterday, and it was good. I needed to catch up on sleep and just...be still a bit. Focus. Focus.
Today, I need to be active. I'll be getting out the exercise mat and doing some stretching and core exercises, then I'll walk or do some other cardio.
Generous fluids. Calories at 1500 or fewer. Meditation. Affirmations. Movement. Good habits. Freggies galore.
It's how we get this boat fully back on course and keep it there.
I pick up my organic coop share today, so I'll be nicely restocked. I need to hit Whole Foods for some grassfed ground beef for hubby's meat sauce for gf pasta and a lot of chicken breasts for the week. And my pasteured organic eggs. :D I eat eggs for breakfast daily, and no, I don't get sick of eggs. I'm my daddy's girl--he loved his eggs. :)
Speaking of edibles: Japanese sweet potato.
That's gonna be my "try something new" mini-challenge item for the Ready for Summer Challenge. I've had regular sweet potato and the the Cuban/Caribbean version (I have no idea what y'all call it in English) of sweet potato (it's pale). But I've never had the Japanese one, and it's in my coop share. So, might as well go for it. :D It can be my starch serving in a meal this week.
It's been in the share list before, but I didn't have it (avoiding starches like mad then). I sometimes give stuff from my share away, if I don't think we'll eat it. But this time, it's MINE! :)
As a Japanophile...this makes me happy in a weird little way. I think of the little kids growing and selling baked sweet potatoes (I posted a youtube video or pics of this some time back.) How cute, right?
Okay, I wanted to get this post done to set my focus for the day.
On we go...be well...
Okay, one good caloric day under my belt at last. This is a bigger victory than it sounds, as I've been lax, with 1700-1800 being more the norm. I kept my starch down. As expected, some water loss shows up on the scale.
Yesterday, I stayed under 1500, just a bit, but under. :D
I remember when 1400 calories seemed a cinch to keep to. Sigh.
One thing I learned early in the journey, in my readings first (I love me studies), and then in experience, is that it takes a while to adapt to lowering calories. And if you eat higher calories, then it's harder to readapt. So, I'm in the readapting to a lower caloric state.
I'll tell you, I envy the folks who can eat 1800, 2000 or more calories and be lean. Lucky you. :D
I want to keep fighting and get back my "adaptation".
On the movement front: I took a rest day yesterday, and it was good. I needed to catch up on sleep and just...be still a bit. Focus. Focus.
Today, I need to be active. I'll be getting out the exercise mat and doing some stretching and core exercises, then I'll walk or do some other cardio.
Generous fluids. Calories at 1500 or fewer. Meditation. Affirmations. Movement. Good habits. Freggies galore.
It's how we get this boat fully back on course and keep it there.
I pick up my organic coop share today, so I'll be nicely restocked. I need to hit Whole Foods for some grassfed ground beef for hubby's meat sauce for gf pasta and a lot of chicken breasts for the week. And my pasteured organic eggs. :D I eat eggs for breakfast daily, and no, I don't get sick of eggs. I'm my daddy's girl--he loved his eggs. :)
Speaking of edibles: Japanese sweet potato.
That's gonna be my "try something new" mini-challenge item for the Ready for Summer Challenge. I've had regular sweet potato and the the Cuban/Caribbean version (I have no idea what y'all call it in English) of sweet potato (it's pale). But I've never had the Japanese one, and it's in my coop share. So, might as well go for it. :D It can be my starch serving in a meal this week.
It's been in the share list before, but I didn't have it (avoiding starches like mad then). I sometimes give stuff from my share away, if I don't think we'll eat it. But this time, it's MINE! :)
As a Japanophile...this makes me happy in a weird little way. I think of the little kids growing and selling baked sweet potatoes (I posted a youtube video or pics of this some time back.) How cute, right?
Okay, I wanted to get this post done to set my focus for the day.
On we go...be well...
"The ability to discipline yourself to delay gratification in the short term in order to enjoy greater rewards in the long term is the indispensable prerequisite for success."
~~Maxwell Maltz
" For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
~~Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
E2E Midweek Update #8: A long and about-all-sorts-of stuff post....including~~~When "Not Red"= "Blue"; a middle of the night crisis; and just looking for the way through, cause I've been lower and I know there's a way up...plus a bunch of pics cause I gots a new iPhone for Birthday!..and can floral prints and red lipstick and Free Jazz jolt me out the dark?
The word which God has written on the brow of every man is Hope.
VICTOR HUGO, Les Misérables
I'm in recovery mode in a lot of ways.
1. Ate way more than I planned to or wanted to at my birthday party. Unlike last year, I had double servings. In all, I ended up at around 2600 calories.
2. I have hit the salty stuff again. Been craving feta and olives. Yeah...
3. Am still in all-over joint pain, and am angry about it.
4. Just am angry in general and feeling really betrayed by my body --again, since this is an old story with me and my defective body. I first wanted to kill myself when I was 9, and I hated my sickly body then. Today, I'm fighting the hate...again.
Tanita-san was 183.4 after my birthday. It's 181.6 today.
And last night, I think I hit a crisis in all this. Like at 2:30 in the AM, in bed, I had this passing, lightly voiced though: "I wish I could close my eyes and not open them again."
It startled me into wakefulness and I jostled hubby to talk. (poor dear man) He prayed over me, we talked. I was able to sleep after that, but I felt sad. I felt like the wonderful, happy, energetic, motivated, cheery, "getting healthy" me was just evaporating and the old crap depressed, unmotivated, apathetic, self-hating me was reimposiging. Like when You see one body fade out in Star Trek and another fade in the transporter. I felt this overwhelming fear of getting older and sicker and all this work being for naught.
I fear that it's a losing a battle.
Then I try to rah-rah myself out of those thoughts.
Then they come back.
Pom-poms. Dark thoughts. Forced smile. Dark thoughts....
I have this Jekyll/Hyde thing going on. I work myself up into some motivation, but then it fades and I mope around wanting to do nothing. I tell myself I'm gonna get better, then the pain in my body and the lack of vim reminds me that even with all the sacrifices, hard work, costly foods, costly trainer, when it comes down to it, I'm defective, and my body will turn around and whack me on the head when I least expect it. Betrayal. I'm sick of that shit.
And then I get angry again.
Anyway, today, instead of dragging and moping out of bed, I turned on the radio when the alarm went off. I put on a Christian show and forced myself to focus on positive, healing things. I stayed in bed for an hour, sometimes talking to my body, sometimes begging it to stop hurting and heal up.
I need patience. I need to remember that I've felt WORSE. I've been lower. I think of those much worse off, pray for THEM and feel bad for being so self-absorbed and selfish. But, eventually, nothing brings one's thoughts back to oneself than a body part letting itself be known as malfunctioning.
I figure Lent begins today, and what I want to give up for Lent is the pattern of self-absorbed self-pity. To acquire patience and wait until my thyroid normalizes. If the pains remain, then know it's time to see the rheumatologist. To accept that aging brings this crap to many of us, and I'm no exception. To know it would be worse had I not done what I've done for 1 1/2 years--the right stuff.
I have not lost hope. But I feel this ugly slide that seems beyond my control, the body doing stuff to the mind. Happens.
So, yeah, back to routine. I can't walk or exercise like I had been, so I just find what I CAN do--even if it's finding that chair exercise show/DVD. Even if it's taking "marching in place" breaks when I'm on the puter. Even if it's isometric. Even if it's just arm stuff when I'm watching tv. Something. Push the apathy aside and do it for my good.
I'm gonna try to figure out how to Vlog, as I think maybe trying something new will be helpful. I'm sure I'm not videogenic, and this is a bit anxiety-provoking for me, the gal who always used to avoid cameras (had no photographer at my wedding, for instance). But, I got an iPhone for my birthday (lost my old phone the day before, so the timing was great), and I might as well learn to use it for blogging and self-development. :D
Some of the first pics taken with my camera:
This is the actual initial photo:
 |
| Decaf and water before food, and you can see I didn't really fix up my hair! |
We ended at a diner that's open late, since we got out of the mall just after 10pm with my new phone. They have a huge, multi-laminated-page menu, but I flipped right to the salad page, which is across from the low-carb page:
 |
| I had the "Greek" with chicken... |
Just took some new pics:
I had my typical breakfast, and was grateful to have it and enjoy it and be filled by it. (yep, thankfulness is part of my "rehab"). I'm doing this update as I drink my second cup o' joe...and now it's time for vitamins:
 |
| Yummy java is gone, watermelon and vitamins to go! |
As I sit here typing, uploading, sipping, I'm looking at my feet and they are like a the visual objective correlative" to my emo-state:
 |
| Unpedicured: A bad sign! |
Here's the deal: Anyone who has read my blogs for years and has seen pics of my weigh-in feet or feet in general knows I always have pedicured feet. Red or pinky red or warm orangey reds or deep burgundies, but usually a pretty red. Siren red being my fave types. Rich, deep, sexy reds.
Those toes have no red. My toes have been UNred for nearly two weeks. This hasn't happened in years. Seriously, the only time my nekkid toenails see the light of day is the hour or so it takes to take off polish, cut, file, buff, neaten cuticles, etc, before the next layering of polish goes on. Naked toenails says A LOT about how I've been feeling.
Not red = blue.
Red is my happy color. I've used my red bags and shoes more lately to try to cheer myself up, but I haven't mustered up the energy to do my toes (I do my own feet.) It makes me sad to see naked toes. I need to get to it...who knows? Might help. Red toes = joy.
I do still put red on my lips. Some of my birthday splurge haul:
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| One of these things is not like the others... L'Absolu NOT! |
I can't wear eye makeup (allergies), so I tend to go nuts with lipstick and blushers. And I love red variations--more than coppers, browns, plums, mauves, pinks, corals, oranges, peaches. I love red! And I look good in red. :D The Nars run $25 each and the Lancome is $29, so these are PRICEY!!!!!!!!!!!! I got two of my very fave Nars glossses (Misbehave, Scandal). Because I was made so happy by the Lancome Rouge Absolute that I got for Christmas (I posted a pic back then), I decided to try this somewhat cooler and a lot sheerer red in the new line.
Sucks. Sucks bad. My perfectly smooth, spoiled with care lips began cracking and peeling within hours. Yeah, thanks...$29 bucks for an allergic reaction.
I searched online and saw a few comments from other reviewers that this particular lipstick (line?) caused dryness and reactions. So, I recommend if you even considered this crazy expensive lippie: STAY WAY. Repeat after me, "L'Absolutely NOT!"
Get the Rouge Absolute if you want a great, creamy, beautiful, sexy red. :D
I'm returning it to Sephora. First return EVER to that store. This lipstick sucked.
Oh, and on a note for previous update: I tried on the dress Sunday, but hubby and I were rushing to leave for my party and no pics got taken. But no progress, obviously, and a little retrograde movement, as the zipper went higher than first pic on the initial E2E post, but lower than second pic I took a couple weeks back. Which makes sense as I had gone UP some onTanita-San....
I wish I had taken birthday pics. Sigh. None to share.
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| The Dress, Not Me.. |
It was an intentional strategy to work on "upping" my mood. I went in a blaze of glory of colors....my lips were so shiny, planes may have been diverted by accident by the startling reflection.
Well, it helped. Never underestimate the power of color. For a while, it was cheering.
So, a long and sort of episodic update. Things are not good. Things will get better.
I don't necessarily plan to update a lot, or visit blogs much--sorry!-- so I wanted to make sure to have my say in this one. I want to spend more time meditating and reading Scripture and praying and looking at the stars and enjoying the explosion of flowers in my garden and just remembering to HOPE and BELIEVE that this, too, shall pass.
Because nothing is worse than giving in to the dark.
Light ....light is where it's at.
Okay, I'm off to have more water and shower and be presentable to get my organic goodies. And if my energy holds out, hubby has offered to take me to a newish local spot for "out of the ordinary" performers to see...
Him:
and them, too.
"Free Jazz". It's an experience and not the general "cuppa tea". But hubby and I did the jazz concert thing a lot in our dating and newlywed days. I have mighty romantic associations with Jaco Pastorius, Chick Correa, Larry Carlton, Gato Barbieri, Jeff Lorber with Kenny G, Paco de Lucia, et al.
If my energy is up for it--it's until 11:30 pm and it is a worknight for my tootsie--it might be something to help with this tide-turning endeavor of mine. Who knows what odd "free" sounds might do to the chemicals and the brain, yes? Vibrations are mighty things..and music is potent stuff.
Okay, peace out. :)
Be well...I'm working on it....
And the quotes for this challenge:
"The ability to discipline yourself to delay gratification in the short term in order to enjoy greater rewards in the long term is the indispensable prerequisite for success."~Maxwell Maltz"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.~Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
Sunday, February 19, 2012
E2E Challenge Update #7: Halfway Point, Backward Movement, and Yeah, I'm Ticked At Myself...The "Midway Pic"
Tanita-San: 180.6
Last Week: 178.4
Waist: Same as last week= 34.75
That is an uptick of 2.2 lbs, and puts me back to where I was a month ago.
Just to show the math is not as super neat as one may imagine, I have eaten this week roughly 500 calories more than my limit goal of 1500...roughly 2000. (Some days a bit over, some days under). I have NOT been disciplined, neither have I binged. I've been dipping into apathy about containment of portions, and it shows.
An extra 500 calories is ridiculously easy to do if it's calorically dense food--an extra tablespoon of dressing , some nuts, a couple extra servings of fruit, and a protein bar one day: voila! Or a couple of wedges of cheese, an extra yogurt/fruit snack, a couple boiled eggs. Although the blow-out was the Valentine's Day Godiva choco-strawberries. I have no idea the calorie count, though I went to the Godiva site and saw some estimates on calorie trackers. One woman had 40 calories, which is nuts. NUTS.
I figured 200 to 250 per strawberry, and I had FOUR. I did cut back on my meals knowing I was gonna have at least ONE....but there you go. Avoidance would have been better than moderation in this case. For sure.
Anyway, I used the higher count and went with 1000 cals of the things. If it's less great. I have no real guide. But anyone estimating 50 or 100 is probably really optimistic out there. Or deluded, maybe.
The math says I ought to have gained about a pound...um, yeah.
I didn't meet my goals this week, period. Not caloric. I missed 2 walking sessions (yes, the lethargy won this week.) I even missed fluids a couple days. I posted on my buddy's posts (did I miss any?), and went above the minimum for the challenge with support overall, but really, haven't been as much of a cheerleader overall as I could. Didn't even dive into the books for help. I'm just...not "head in the game." Please feel free to rah-rah and kick my ass. THANKS.
I'm getting dressed for my birthday party, so I'll add the pics and whatever later.
Quotes, where I ignore the first and hang on like a gal in rising waters to the second:
Last Week: 178.4
Waist: Same as last week= 34.75
That is an uptick of 2.2 lbs, and puts me back to where I was a month ago.
Just to show the math is not as super neat as one may imagine, I have eaten this week roughly 500 calories more than my limit goal of 1500...roughly 2000. (Some days a bit over, some days under). I have NOT been disciplined, neither have I binged. I've been dipping into apathy about containment of portions, and it shows.
An extra 500 calories is ridiculously easy to do if it's calorically dense food--an extra tablespoon of dressing , some nuts, a couple extra servings of fruit, and a protein bar one day: voila! Or a couple of wedges of cheese, an extra yogurt/fruit snack, a couple boiled eggs. Although the blow-out was the Valentine's Day Godiva choco-strawberries. I have no idea the calorie count, though I went to the Godiva site and saw some estimates on calorie trackers. One woman had 40 calories, which is nuts. NUTS.
I figured 200 to 250 per strawberry, and I had FOUR. I did cut back on my meals knowing I was gonna have at least ONE....but there you go. Avoidance would have been better than moderation in this case. For sure.
Anyway, I used the higher count and went with 1000 cals of the things. If it's less great. I have no real guide. But anyone estimating 50 or 100 is probably really optimistic out there. Or deluded, maybe.
The math says I ought to have gained about a pound...um, yeah.
I didn't meet my goals this week, period. Not caloric. I missed 2 walking sessions (yes, the lethargy won this week.) I even missed fluids a couple days. I posted on my buddy's posts (did I miss any?), and went above the minimum for the challenge with support overall, but really, haven't been as much of a cheerleader overall as I could. Didn't even dive into the books for help. I'm just...not "head in the game." Please feel free to rah-rah and kick my ass. THANKS.
I'm getting dressed for my birthday party, so I'll add the pics and whatever later.
Quotes, where I ignore the first and hang on like a gal in rising waters to the second:
"The ability to discipline yourself to delay gratification in the short term in order to enjoy greater rewards in the long term is the indispensable prerequisite for success."~Maxwell Maltz"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.~Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
Monday, August 15, 2011
Slimmer This Summer Challenge Update: Complacency Goeth Before the Fall...Or Rise (in weight)-- 1.2 Pounds UP as other things take the stage. Looking for balance, organization, and getting that number back DOWN! But, hey, my hair--and hubby's, too-- looks great. Pics included.
Hey, all. I meant to do an update yesterday for Slimmer This Summer, weighed in and everything before heading out the door for assorted activities, but came hope late and still had stuff to do--laundry, cooking hubby's Monday lunch, packing the 2 lunches and snacks--and yes, he eats two lunches to keep from being too skinny since he gave up all grains except rice and all starchy veggies except potatoes and a bit or corn now and then.
Wish I had that problem.
My problem this week came from Tanita-san's numerical glare: 185.0
Sheesh. 1.2 pounds UP from last Sunday. UPPPPPP. UPPPP.
Yeah, and only me to blame. No excuses. I simply got lax and comfy. I am so happy where I am, even as fat as I am--cause we can't call 185 lbs sleek, now can we?--but so energetic and so flexible and feel so good and feel cute and get tons of compliments and hubby's adoring my new bod, and, yes, still so happy to be officially NOT obese, that my motivation just fizzled. If I don't watch out, I'll be officially obese again.
Dang.
But part of creating this blog and joining this challenge was being accountable. I have to report the BAD, not just the good. And here it is. The bad.
Let me correct a point: It's not fizzled altogether, the motivation. I still counted calories. I still exercised. I still drank my requisite fluids. I still took vitamins and blogged and read inspirational snippets and visited fatfighters online.
Fizzled as in not scrupulous, not as focused.
Part is that I've begun a new HUGE project, almost as huge as losing weight, and that has sapped a lot of my focus. I"m doing two new things, the HUGE organization of my clutter/healing of my hoarding/simplifying life thing, and getting back to serious Bible study, which also takes a couple hours a day. Between all those hours and that divided focus, weight loss seems to not be my sole-super-duper-main-supreme-above-all focus. This means calorie creep and exercise whittling.
Sucks, but I am NOT a multi-tasker. When I take on another huge project, the others suffer.
But I have to find a way to do it all. I am envious of folks who can do many major things at once--Allan, formerly of Almost Gastric Bypass blog(s), and his career expansion while undertaking major weight loss and overseeing challenges comes to mind, as well as those of you dealing with challenging new jobs while losing, or bearing and rearing new babies while losing. I admire the ability to do that and hope I can develop some of it. But me, I tend to need to focus on ONE BIG THING at a time.
I focused on weight loss for the last year. The economic realities of our current nation means it's imperative for us to simplify and be ready to sell and move in short order as needed. This is why I am tackling this BEFORE reaching goal weight. I decided reaching non-obese goal would have to be the cut-off.
So, this week, I need to find the internal drive and energy to give more than one thing priority. I can't let myself lose all momentum and regain to the point of waking up and finding I have 20 pounds back on me! No, sir.
185.0
Sheesh.
Okay, new week. New obstacles. New refocusing. And let's see how talented I can get at organizing multiple projects.
This past week, my exercise was:
1x swimming
4x walking
2x Pilates with trainer
Fluids: fine
Prayer: yes, praying for y'all
Push-ups= worked on them x2
Waist: Still 36 (dang)
Quitting: No, but I need to learn new skills, clearly, to regain progress-making mojo
I'm not depressed or bummed, mind you. I am simply more in "problem resolution" mode. I assumed that having a couple of 1600 calorie days and a 1750ish day, which should not have impeded me at 185 active pounds, BUT THEY DID. It seems that I will have to revise goal weight. I will not live with any weight that requires me to LIVE FOREVER on 1200 calories. Forget it. I'd rather stay fat. The lowest I'm willing to go, lifelong, is 1400 to 1500. I find that a livable range, whereas I find 1200 too restrictive for life. It doesn't seem a like a lot of leeway, but that's yogurt and fruit plus nuts worth. That's a salad with chicken's worth. It is a big difference for those of us who've done the 1200.
I know I'm metabolically lower than many. I knew that a year ago from tracking. I don't maintain of my weight in the range the charts I've seen state. I maintain on my weight on the range minus 300 (if it's consistent with my previous estimates, which probably is WRONG, and it's more complicated formula-wise,, but I'll worry about the math some other day). I'll find out in time. But after this week, when I ranged from 1400 to 1600 a day for all but one day, the weigh-in comes as a slap of reality to realize that, yes, I will never ever ever eat remotely like I used to. NOT REMOTELY...and I knew that intellectually, but I know it now in actuality. While exercising THAT much, I still can't eat much at this lower weight.
We will see how this unwinds...
TWO weeks until SLIMMER THIS SUMMER ends. I'd like to end it at least at 182 (or less). Let's see how that goes, shall we? :D
Oh, and we had an Aveda hair spa day Saturday, hubby and I:
I wish all challengers well in this final stretch. I hope I didn't let too many of you down with this week's uptick and my motivation's semi-fizzling.
Be well, all...
Wish I had that problem.
My problem this week came from Tanita-san's numerical glare: 185.0
Sheesh. 1.2 pounds UP from last Sunday. UPPPPPP. UPPPP.
Yeah, and only me to blame. No excuses. I simply got lax and comfy. I am so happy where I am, even as fat as I am--cause we can't call 185 lbs sleek, now can we?--but so energetic and so flexible and feel so good and feel cute and get tons of compliments and hubby's adoring my new bod, and, yes, still so happy to be officially NOT obese, that my motivation just fizzled. If I don't watch out, I'll be officially obese again.
Dang.
But part of creating this blog and joining this challenge was being accountable. I have to report the BAD, not just the good. And here it is. The bad.
Let me correct a point: It's not fizzled altogether, the motivation. I still counted calories. I still exercised. I still drank my requisite fluids. I still took vitamins and blogged and read inspirational snippets and visited fatfighters online.
Fizzled as in not scrupulous, not as focused.
Part is that I've begun a new HUGE project, almost as huge as losing weight, and that has sapped a lot of my focus. I"m doing two new things, the HUGE organization of my clutter/healing of my hoarding/simplifying life thing, and getting back to serious Bible study, which also takes a couple hours a day. Between all those hours and that divided focus, weight loss seems to not be my sole-super-duper-main-supreme-above-all focus. This means calorie creep and exercise whittling.
Sucks, but I am NOT a multi-tasker. When I take on another huge project, the others suffer.
But I have to find a way to do it all. I am envious of folks who can do many major things at once--Allan, formerly of Almost Gastric Bypass blog(s), and his career expansion while undertaking major weight loss and overseeing challenges comes to mind, as well as those of you dealing with challenging new jobs while losing, or bearing and rearing new babies while losing. I admire the ability to do that and hope I can develop some of it. But me, I tend to need to focus on ONE BIG THING at a time.
I focused on weight loss for the last year. The economic realities of our current nation means it's imperative for us to simplify and be ready to sell and move in short order as needed. This is why I am tackling this BEFORE reaching goal weight. I decided reaching non-obese goal would have to be the cut-off.
So, this week, I need to find the internal drive and energy to give more than one thing priority. I can't let myself lose all momentum and regain to the point of waking up and finding I have 20 pounds back on me! No, sir.
185.0
Sheesh.
Okay, new week. New obstacles. New refocusing. And let's see how talented I can get at organizing multiple projects.
This past week, my exercise was:
1x swimming
4x walking
2x Pilates with trainer
Fluids: fine
Prayer: yes, praying for y'all
Push-ups= worked on them x2
Waist: Still 36 (dang)
Quitting: No, but I need to learn new skills, clearly, to regain progress-making mojo
I'm not depressed or bummed, mind you. I am simply more in "problem resolution" mode. I assumed that having a couple of 1600 calorie days and a 1750ish day, which should not have impeded me at 185 active pounds, BUT THEY DID. It seems that I will have to revise goal weight. I will not live with any weight that requires me to LIVE FOREVER on 1200 calories. Forget it. I'd rather stay fat. The lowest I'm willing to go, lifelong, is 1400 to 1500. I find that a livable range, whereas I find 1200 too restrictive for life. It doesn't seem a like a lot of leeway, but that's yogurt and fruit plus nuts worth. That's a salad with chicken's worth. It is a big difference for those of us who've done the 1200.
I know I'm metabolically lower than many. I knew that a year ago from tracking. I don't maintain of my weight in the range the charts I've seen state. I maintain on my weight on the range minus 300 (if it's consistent with my previous estimates, which probably is WRONG, and it's more complicated formula-wise,, but I'll worry about the math some other day). I'll find out in time. But after this week, when I ranged from 1400 to 1600 a day for all but one day, the weigh-in comes as a slap of reality to realize that, yes, I will never ever ever eat remotely like I used to. NOT REMOTELY...and I knew that intellectually, but I know it now in actuality. While exercising THAT much, I still can't eat much at this lower weight.
We will see how this unwinds...
TWO weeks until SLIMMER THIS SUMMER ends. I'd like to end it at least at 182 (or less). Let's see how that goes, shall we? :D
Oh, and we had an Aveda hair spa day Saturday, hubby and I:
I wish all challengers well in this final stretch. I hope I didn't let too many of you down with this week's uptick and my motivation's semi-fizzling.
Be well, all...
Thursday, August 11, 2011
Quickie--exercise, calories overage, chrono-Bible-plan...
Just cause I have the WORST memory --used to have the BEST memory, but this is what assorted illnesses, meds, and middle age did to me--a recap.
Walked 25 mins, swam & did pool-exercises 20 mins, and ate 250 cals OVER challenge calories. Yep. I could have done without the rice and chocolate probiotics and extra fruit. But, there ya go. The good and the bad.
I also yesterday began my chronological Bible reading plan. You can see the schedule HERE. I just began with January 1 and 2 (did double duty) and will work through it in order.
Off to Pilates..later...
Walked 25 mins, swam & did pool-exercises 20 mins, and ate 250 cals OVER challenge calories. Yep. I could have done without the rice and chocolate probiotics and extra fruit. But, there ya go. The good and the bad.
I also yesterday began my chronological Bible reading plan. You can see the schedule HERE. I just began with January 1 and 2 (did double duty) and will work through it in order.
Off to Pilates..later...
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Day 24 of 84 in the StSC: Melancholy Day, Rainy Gray Day, WireFree 38DDD LB Bras Fit, and Planning How To Avoid Temptations at the SUPERCON!
I woke up melancholic. I also woke up 191.4.
I had started feeling a shift in my mood lately, and waking up with that "it's cloudy and gray in my mind" sensation confirmed that my body is up to something chemically.
This might explain my jonesing for fruit and salty. Last night, I had gluten-free pretzels for a snack, and yes, totally processed crap, cause I wanted salt so bad. Dipped 120 calories worth in yellow mustard to satisfy the I WANT SOMETHING CRUNCHY AND SALTY RIGHT NOW urge, before it turned into something sinister and bingey. It's been harder staying under 1400 the last couple days (but I've done it), and it's all about wanting fruit (sweet) and salt. Just like my old depressed PMSing days.
I know there is a weight/mood connection. I know when I feel the lighter sort of blues--this is not all out depression, just that cloudy-gray melancholia thing--that I need to start being seriously attentive and preemptive or I might dip into a depression. I haven't been all-out depressed-depressed-clinically-depressed since end of 2007/start of 2008, and I haven't had a mood impairment of significance since over a year. It's been pretty clear-sailing for a long spell, for which I am grateful.
So, preemptively, I added something salty but protein/low-cal (Canadian bacon) along with something sweet and natural (cherries) to get that sort of sweet/salty thing taken care of first thing. Had my eggs with mushrooms and added herbs and onions for flavor, and added salt to the eggs. Just a bit. Normally, I don't. I got used to Mrs. Dash on my eggs months ago (round late January/early February), but I want to satisfy whatever the heck is in my chemical mess right now without resorting to Frankensnacks. I'd rather get it from a processed meat with protein than a processed low-carb weirdo food. Cherries are super-sweet and anti-inflammatory. My joints are a bit swollen, so two birds, one bowl of stone fruit.
Since I woke up with the melancholy flu, I put on praise music right off. I first put on more serious praise music, as it fit the mood--Rich Mullins' posthumous brilliant JESUS RECORD. It's still one of my fave Christian music albums. The songs are like these grittily gleaming gems with amazing lyrics and gifted musicianship. When Ashley Cleveland sings, "Jesus, write me into your story. Whisper it to me. And let me know I'm yours..."--I just tend to get these astonishingly strong feelings. It's my favorite song, along with MY DELIVERER, from a top-notch creative work. I prefer the disc where Rich doesn't sing--he sings only in the demos, which are moving in themselves--but where his friends and colleagues sing his songs in a tribute after his passing.
Here is one of the members of the Ragamuffin Band (Rich's band) singing "My Deliverer". I sing that chorus spontaneously on days when I feel at the end of my rope or just like I need a dose of uplifting hope and, above all, PERSPECTIVE, which this video gives a solid dose of:
We all have to be "delivered" from something. Maybe you're lucky, and the only deliverance you need is from food addiction. Yes, that's being real luck. But we all need some delierance.
Anyway, after some songs--Rich's deep songs and David Crowder's louder modern praise tunes--I had perspective and less "grayness" and pensive sadness over the crap in the world and less anxiety about my future. Maybe not my usual cheer, but it was a lifting up of some kind. Perspective. One can't feel sorry for oneself when one knows the historical and currrent series of sufferings of others. My problems are so tiny, so very tiny, when viewed in the light of the REAL suffering of those in the video and in the Bible and in history and, heck, in my own hometown.
Praise is a healing thing. Perspective is a centering thing.
If you feel really down about something essentially minor or stupid, get over it. Life is gonna have hard times, and some people's hard times are horrible beyond imagining. I spent a good portion of my hour after waking praying for those in captivity (sex slavery and other forms of captivity). They know what suffering is. They know what hardship is. People dieting don't know squat. People who have lousy jobs don't know squat. People with relationship issues don't know squat. Having loved ones falsely imprisoned, your daughter sold into a brothel, your wife tortured, your son murdered, your body racked by an incurable and deadly disease. Those are real trials and suffering.
What most of us have on a daily basis just doesn't compare. So, we need perspective.
Wouldn't you rather be hungry cause you're not eating as much for the sake of weight loss than be hungry cause your farm was attacked by locusts or a rebel army? Yeah, thought so.
And if you are reviled--as some online will, due to stalkers or mean people doing their mean thing--it's trivial in the big picture. Dust yourself off, stand up, praise God that you can see, walk, eat, sleep under a sound roof (or any roof), have healthy kids, have a loving partner, have any job in an economy like ours. Be grateful. Sing a song of gratitude. Smile even if you feel like NOT smiling. Adjust your attitude.
I'm adjusting mine today. I won't let my biochemical wonkiness mess with this day God gave me. I choose joy and gratitude--even if it's elusive today. Even if I worry about hubby losing his job. Even if I worry about my sick sister and my recently hospitalized nephew. Even if I worry about growing old and sicker. I choose hope and joy and thankfulness.
So, say grace when you sit to eat your planned meal. It may not be a bingey feast like you may have had in the past, but it will be good health for you. Be grateful for the food on your plate, the clean water in your glass, the life you have, the life you WILL have...the dreams you can make come true.
Onto other things:
Calories: Okay, got 600 to 800 more calories left for my supper and possible snack. Should be fine. Hubby wants Thai, and for me, it's easy to get something on plan there. I like their chicken and avocado sushi.
Exercise: I'm sitting here in my workout clothes. Rain has curtailed my walking, but I went out for a very brief walk yesterday between showers. I hope today, I can do my full 30 to 40 mins. I'll do what I can. If not, then I'll dance. But I will move.
Prayer: Yes, you are being prayed for, fellow challengers. Please, stay in it. Even if you stumble. Let's stay in it all the way!
Bras: I got a shipment of Lane Bryant bras and undies (they had an online sale and I took advantage). The wirefree lace ones are REALLY comfy and have decent support. 38DDD. I could maybe have gone for 38DDDD (my usual), but they don't carry that. The underwire 38DDD had not enough cup room. I'll have to wait until I'm a 36 band, and they'll probably fit better. ; ) If you want a comfy, girly wirefree, check out the LB lace wirefree. Pretty cute.
Weekend Planning: Hubby and I have hit the Florida Supercon two years running. Prior to that, I was so heavy and out of shape, that I couldn't handle a convention. But Pilates helped me get through my first in 2009. Last year was a breeze, even walking constantly for 12 hours+. This year, as long as my knee holds out, should be even better, as I'm way smaller than I was last year in th 260s. Seventy+ pounds off makes a huge difference in stamina and flexibility. I hope there's dancing! :D I am looking forward to seeing if Bruce Boxleitner is as handsome in person. One of the hunkiest guys on TV ever! Commander Sheridan in Babylon-5 (one of my fave SF programs, I own the box set) and he looked pretty hot in TRON and SCARECROW AND MRS KING, too. :) Anya of BuffyTVS (Emma Caulfield) is gonna be there, too. I go for the SF and anime/manga/Japanese culture/art stuff. My hubby goes mostly for the gaming/anime stuff. We have fun. :D Don't expect much blogging again this coming weekend.
So, I gotta plan for my eats. I know they always have chicken Caesar salads and usually some kind of fresh fruit. I'll have breakfast before going, take one of my all natural sticky-bars (sort of like a fruit/nut composite trail mixy thing) and plan to have tea, water, coffee, and the chicken salad for lunch, maybe dinner, too. Not sure how to work dinner. If I have to, I'll just do the protein/salad/fruit thing twice. The most important thing is to stay very well-hydrated, or I will get hugely hungry. I gotta make sure to guzzle water and avoid the Pocky vendors. ; ) I have a weakness for Coconut Pocky.
Okay, gonna go and enjoy some French Press decaf and get in more water with it.
I wish you all a joyful, thankful, healthful day. Be well...
I had started feeling a shift in my mood lately, and waking up with that "it's cloudy and gray in my mind" sensation confirmed that my body is up to something chemically.
This might explain my jonesing for fruit and salty. Last night, I had gluten-free pretzels for a snack, and yes, totally processed crap, cause I wanted salt so bad. Dipped 120 calories worth in yellow mustard to satisfy the I WANT SOMETHING CRUNCHY AND SALTY RIGHT NOW urge, before it turned into something sinister and bingey. It's been harder staying under 1400 the last couple days (but I've done it), and it's all about wanting fruit (sweet) and salt. Just like my old depressed PMSing days.
I know there is a weight/mood connection. I know when I feel the lighter sort of blues--this is not all out depression, just that cloudy-gray melancholia thing--that I need to start being seriously attentive and preemptive or I might dip into a depression. I haven't been all-out depressed-depressed-clinically-depressed since end of 2007/start of 2008, and I haven't had a mood impairment of significance since over a year. It's been pretty clear-sailing for a long spell, for which I am grateful.
So, preemptively, I added something salty but protein/low-cal (Canadian bacon) along with something sweet and natural (cherries) to get that sort of sweet/salty thing taken care of first thing. Had my eggs with mushrooms and added herbs and onions for flavor, and added salt to the eggs. Just a bit. Normally, I don't. I got used to Mrs. Dash on my eggs months ago (round late January/early February), but I want to satisfy whatever the heck is in my chemical mess right now without resorting to Frankensnacks. I'd rather get it from a processed meat with protein than a processed low-carb weirdo food. Cherries are super-sweet and anti-inflammatory. My joints are a bit swollen, so two birds, one bowl of stone fruit.
Since I woke up with the melancholy flu, I put on praise music right off. I first put on more serious praise music, as it fit the mood--Rich Mullins' posthumous brilliant JESUS RECORD. It's still one of my fave Christian music albums. The songs are like these grittily gleaming gems with amazing lyrics and gifted musicianship. When Ashley Cleveland sings, "Jesus, write me into your story. Whisper it to me. And let me know I'm yours..."--I just tend to get these astonishingly strong feelings. It's my favorite song, along with MY DELIVERER, from a top-notch creative work. I prefer the disc where Rich doesn't sing--he sings only in the demos, which are moving in themselves--but where his friends and colleagues sing his songs in a tribute after his passing.
Here is one of the members of the Ragamuffin Band (Rich's band) singing "My Deliverer". I sing that chorus spontaneously on days when I feel at the end of my rope or just like I need a dose of uplifting hope and, above all, PERSPECTIVE, which this video gives a solid dose of:
"My Deliverer is coming; my Deliverer is standing by.
He will never break His promise; He has written it across the sky...
I will never doubt His promise, though I doubt my heart, I doubt my eyes...
My Deliverer is coming; my Deliverer is standing by..."
We all have to be "delivered" from something. Maybe you're lucky, and the only deliverance you need is from food addiction. Yes, that's being real luck. But we all need some delierance.
Anyway, after some songs--Rich's deep songs and David Crowder's louder modern praise tunes--I had perspective and less "grayness" and pensive sadness over the crap in the world and less anxiety about my future. Maybe not my usual cheer, but it was a lifting up of some kind. Perspective. One can't feel sorry for oneself when one knows the historical and currrent series of sufferings of others. My problems are so tiny, so very tiny, when viewed in the light of the REAL suffering of those in the video and in the Bible and in history and, heck, in my own hometown.
Praise is a healing thing. Perspective is a centering thing.
If you feel really down about something essentially minor or stupid, get over it. Life is gonna have hard times, and some people's hard times are horrible beyond imagining. I spent a good portion of my hour after waking praying for those in captivity (sex slavery and other forms of captivity). They know what suffering is. They know what hardship is. People dieting don't know squat. People who have lousy jobs don't know squat. People with relationship issues don't know squat. Having loved ones falsely imprisoned, your daughter sold into a brothel, your wife tortured, your son murdered, your body racked by an incurable and deadly disease. Those are real trials and suffering.
What most of us have on a daily basis just doesn't compare. So, we need perspective.
Wouldn't you rather be hungry cause you're not eating as much for the sake of weight loss than be hungry cause your farm was attacked by locusts or a rebel army? Yeah, thought so.
And if you are reviled--as some online will, due to stalkers or mean people doing their mean thing--it's trivial in the big picture. Dust yourself off, stand up, praise God that you can see, walk, eat, sleep under a sound roof (or any roof), have healthy kids, have a loving partner, have any job in an economy like ours. Be grateful. Sing a song of gratitude. Smile even if you feel like NOT smiling. Adjust your attitude.
I'm adjusting mine today. I won't let my biochemical wonkiness mess with this day God gave me. I choose joy and gratitude--even if it's elusive today. Even if I worry about hubby losing his job. Even if I worry about my sick sister and my recently hospitalized nephew. Even if I worry about growing old and sicker. I choose hope and joy and thankfulness.
So, say grace when you sit to eat your planned meal. It may not be a bingey feast like you may have had in the past, but it will be good health for you. Be grateful for the food on your plate, the clean water in your glass, the life you have, the life you WILL have...the dreams you can make come true.
Onto other things:
Calories: Okay, got 600 to 800 more calories left for my supper and possible snack. Should be fine. Hubby wants Thai, and for me, it's easy to get something on plan there. I like their chicken and avocado sushi.
Exercise: I'm sitting here in my workout clothes. Rain has curtailed my walking, but I went out for a very brief walk yesterday between showers. I hope today, I can do my full 30 to 40 mins. I'll do what I can. If not, then I'll dance. But I will move.
Prayer: Yes, you are being prayed for, fellow challengers. Please, stay in it. Even if you stumble. Let's stay in it all the way!
Bras: I got a shipment of Lane Bryant bras and undies (they had an online sale and I took advantage). The wirefree lace ones are REALLY comfy and have decent support. 38DDD. I could maybe have gone for 38DDDD (my usual), but they don't carry that. The underwire 38DDD had not enough cup room. I'll have to wait until I'm a 36 band, and they'll probably fit better. ; ) If you want a comfy, girly wirefree, check out the LB lace wirefree. Pretty cute.
Weekend Planning: Hubby and I have hit the Florida Supercon two years running. Prior to that, I was so heavy and out of shape, that I couldn't handle a convention. But Pilates helped me get through my first in 2009. Last year was a breeze, even walking constantly for 12 hours+. This year, as long as my knee holds out, should be even better, as I'm way smaller than I was last year in th 260s. Seventy+ pounds off makes a huge difference in stamina and flexibility. I hope there's dancing! :D I am looking forward to seeing if Bruce Boxleitner is as handsome in person. One of the hunkiest guys on TV ever! Commander Sheridan in Babylon-5 (one of my fave SF programs, I own the box set) and he looked pretty hot in TRON and SCARECROW AND MRS KING, too. :) Anya of BuffyTVS (Emma Caulfield) is gonna be there, too. I go for the SF and anime/manga/Japanese culture/art stuff. My hubby goes mostly for the gaming/anime stuff. We have fun. :D Don't expect much blogging again this coming weekend.
So, I gotta plan for my eats. I know they always have chicken Caesar salads and usually some kind of fresh fruit. I'll have breakfast before going, take one of my all natural sticky-bars (sort of like a fruit/nut composite trail mixy thing) and plan to have tea, water, coffee, and the chicken salad for lunch, maybe dinner, too. Not sure how to work dinner. If I have to, I'll just do the protein/salad/fruit thing twice. The most important thing is to stay very well-hydrated, or I will get hugely hungry. I gotta make sure to guzzle water and avoid the Pocky vendors. ; ) I have a weakness for Coconut Pocky.
Okay, gonna go and enjoy some French Press decaf and get in more water with it.
I wish you all a joyful, thankful, healthful day. Be well...
Saturday, June 18, 2011
Day 13 of 84 in the StSC: Another pound down, a great few pages to help you overcome overeating (ie, REHAB yourself) from the book that helped me the most, and the value of sleep...
Tanita-san: 191.2
Yep. Another pound down. I was afraid my "carby" vegetarian eating day yesterday might slow me down or give me a slight bit of carb bloat (I got up to 118 carbs), especially since I had a lot of cheese (mozza and parmesan) on my spaghetti squash (ie, added sodium). But no, worked out fine.
Friday calories: 1088
Part of that is that I'm sleeping fine again. Eight hours. Good rest, I find, makes for good losses. When I sleep poorly or sleep little, the scale stops budging or goes back up. So, yeah, I see this as the factor that has helped the no-cardio week not impede me. I am so antsy to walk, but I won't be a fool and strain what is already strained. I have to recover and be patient. So, no walking. :(
I'm 6.2 pounds away from a merely overweight BMI status. Go, me!
I really enjoyed my veggie day. What I ate:
Brunch: I cooked a smaller sized spaghetti squash in the nuker, and it yielded a lot of "pasta". I made it marinara style (melted mozza, sprinkled parmesan) with zucchini on the side (sauteed in EVOO with some parm on top) and used the Mrs. Dash Italian Medley for flavor. I ate a fresh organic pear and 1 gluten-free (almond flour and coconut) low-carb cookie for dessert. Had coffee and my loads of water.
Dinner: More squash, this time with pesto Calabrese style (red pepper pesto) and mozzarella melted on top. A bit of spinach and mushroom saute on the side (flavored with garlic). Had half a baked apple with walnut butter for dessert. Zevia grape flavored and coffee and water. My Frieling French press has been getting good use lately. Lovely java.
This is a higher carb day for me, but it came from the fruit and veggies, which I don't mind. That's good carbs in my book. :D
I mentioned how I had cravings earlier in the week that I fought off. I do believe that fighting off cravings matters. For some people, just giving in and having some of a craved food seems to be their solution. It can't be that for me MOST of the time. I find that to continue to have control, I must USE control. I must use that self-control to keep those new habit pathways working as primary. I don't want to default to the REWARD system for things like junk food or sugary treats or trigger foods.
For me, the rehab system described by various sources--for me, notably Kessler in THE END OF OVEREATING and Gillian Riley's work on beating overeating--and part of that is simply saying no. Not justifying caving. Just refusing to cave to "fave food/trigger foods" and old reward systems. When I do that, the cravings pass and I go back to low appetite, calm eating mode. That was yesterday. I wanted a pasta-ey thing, and I didn't want old trigger foods (pasta, pizza), so I made my lower carb, plan-friendly "pasta" dishes.
I felt satisfied. And I felt victorious for saying no all week to the crap that traps me back in cue-reward old habits. I refuse to let food win. This week, I fought the old cues. This week, I won. You take it day by day, week by week.
Caving to a craving is sometimes okay. But for a lot of us, it can be the trigger to cascade into more cavings and more cravings and a setback. If you're doing well...don't cave Say no. Hold on. Build new habit neural pathways. Get stronger each time you use your "no" muscle.
Cave and you might be back at square one. Seriously. You may not be the sort that does well with sidetracks. It might kill your momentum.
If you have issues with temptation, with caving to overeating, with staying in your calorie level, please read THE REHAB chapter of THE END OF OVEREATING if you can't read the whole thing (highly recommended).
Update so far for StSC:
This week, exercise took a hit due to my injury. So, only got 1.5 hours of exercise in so far this week.
Fluids and prayer were consistent and excellent.
Calories: well under max allowed.
Weekly weight loss goal 1.5 lbs: This week isn't over, but I needed to make it to 191.9 (or less) to make goal. I hit 191.2 today, so I made my goal and exceeded it. Yay!
I haven't quit. I blogged frequently. I encouraged others (though some days were minimal and some days much better).
I am still with my eyes on the prize....
Keep yours on the prize, too.
And enjoy your family holiday....make it about love, not eating.
Be well...
Yep. Another pound down. I was afraid my "carby" vegetarian eating day yesterday might slow me down or give me a slight bit of carb bloat (I got up to 118 carbs), especially since I had a lot of cheese (mozza and parmesan) on my spaghetti squash (ie, added sodium). But no, worked out fine.
Friday calories: 1088
Part of that is that I'm sleeping fine again. Eight hours. Good rest, I find, makes for good losses. When I sleep poorly or sleep little, the scale stops budging or goes back up. So, yeah, I see this as the factor that has helped the no-cardio week not impede me. I am so antsy to walk, but I won't be a fool and strain what is already strained. I have to recover and be patient. So, no walking. :(
I'm 6.2 pounds away from a merely overweight BMI status. Go, me!
I really enjoyed my veggie day. What I ate:
Brunch: I cooked a smaller sized spaghetti squash in the nuker, and it yielded a lot of "pasta". I made it marinara style (melted mozza, sprinkled parmesan) with zucchini on the side (sauteed in EVOO with some parm on top) and used the Mrs. Dash Italian Medley for flavor. I ate a fresh organic pear and 1 gluten-free (almond flour and coconut) low-carb cookie for dessert. Had coffee and my loads of water.
Dinner: More squash, this time with pesto Calabrese style (red pepper pesto) and mozzarella melted on top. A bit of spinach and mushroom saute on the side (flavored with garlic). Had half a baked apple with walnut butter for dessert. Zevia grape flavored and coffee and water. My Frieling French press has been getting good use lately. Lovely java.
This is a higher carb day for me, but it came from the fruit and veggies, which I don't mind. That's good carbs in my book. :D
I mentioned how I had cravings earlier in the week that I fought off. I do believe that fighting off cravings matters. For some people, just giving in and having some of a craved food seems to be their solution. It can't be that for me MOST of the time. I find that to continue to have control, I must USE control. I must use that self-control to keep those new habit pathways working as primary. I don't want to default to the REWARD system for things like junk food or sugary treats or trigger foods.
For me, the rehab system described by various sources--for me, notably Kessler in THE END OF OVEREATING and Gillian Riley's work on beating overeating--and part of that is simply saying no. Not justifying caving. Just refusing to cave to "fave food/trigger foods" and old reward systems. When I do that, the cravings pass and I go back to low appetite, calm eating mode. That was yesterday. I wanted a pasta-ey thing, and I didn't want old trigger foods (pasta, pizza), so I made my lower carb, plan-friendly "pasta" dishes.
I felt satisfied. And I felt victorious for saying no all week to the crap that traps me back in cue-reward old habits. I refuse to let food win. This week, I fought the old cues. This week, I won. You take it day by day, week by week.
Caving to a craving is sometimes okay. But for a lot of us, it can be the trigger to cascade into more cavings and more cravings and a setback. If you're doing well...don't cave Say no. Hold on. Build new habit neural pathways. Get stronger each time you use your "no" muscle.
Cave and you might be back at square one. Seriously. You may not be the sort that does well with sidetracks. It might kill your momentum.
If you have issues with temptation, with caving to overeating, with staying in your calorie level, please read THE REHAB chapter of THE END OF OVEREATING if you can't read the whole thing (highly recommended).
Update so far for StSC:
This week, exercise took a hit due to my injury. So, only got 1.5 hours of exercise in so far this week.
Fluids and prayer were consistent and excellent.
Calories: well under max allowed.
Weekly weight loss goal 1.5 lbs: This week isn't over, but I needed to make it to 191.9 (or less) to make goal. I hit 191.2 today, so I made my goal and exceeded it. Yay!
I haven't quit. I blogged frequently. I encouraged others (though some days were minimal and some days much better).
I am still with my eyes on the prize....
Keep yours on the prize, too.
And enjoy your family holiday....make it about love, not eating.
Be well...
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Day 2 of 84 in the StSC: I ate how many calories? Ah, but I did how much exercise? Beginning on those push-ups, and other updates and spontaneous bemoanings....plus a bit of blathering on anime music for Susan the ScooterButt Sister... And where do the forks and socks go? Can someone tell me? Plus: Visualizing it----the Warrior Doodle!
Here we are, day two. I hope day one went well for you all.
Caloric Weapon misfire: Dang. My rifle drooped some. I went over calories. This is rare for me and it irks me. But, there it is. I wonder if I had a weird psychological thing going on like, "Oh, a challenge ended, lemme be lazy one last time before I throw myself into the next one."
I'm not used to using starches much, and when I input the rice, and tallied the EVOO, well, there we go: 1435.
That makes it more necessary for me to be at 1200 today. An occasional "feast" day of 1400 calories is fine--and how relative is THAT feast, huh, for the gal who used to eat 2500 in one sitting easy! This I know. Warriors can't slack. I don't want that to be habitual while on challenge, though there will be celebratory times when I will want more on certain days. For optimal loss, 1200 will do it. I've seen the proof of that.
Anyway, this morning, I feel LESS great. So, maybe my starch experiment is gonna be mighty short-lived. I like feeling super-duper. I don't wanna screw that up. My self-discovery continues, I guess.
On the exercise battlefront: 1 hour of Pilates and 25 minutes of walking. Well, thank God this weapon is primed, as it should make up for the overages in the caloric dept for yesterday.
On the push-ups stealth maneuvers: I dropped a couple times for some modified attempts last night after my walk. If you're working on that, too, and need to do it modified, like me, here's a short video primer and here's a really short one that might help.
Note: If you are one who can't afford to invest in a lot of exercise DVDs, don't have On Demand free exercise videos with your cable, and don't have access toAmazon or Netflix videos (on demand or otherwise), remember: The internet is your buddy. Youtube, Sparkpeople, and other sites have free exercise demonstrations from Yoga to Pilates to Bootcamp style to Zumba to Jazzercise to various spot exercises and etc. Lots of personal trainers put good stuff out there foryou.
Just seek and you will find.
Canteen check: Got my water/fluids in.
Vitamins inventory: Consumed, general, sir, yes, sir.
Prayer deployment: Yep, you all got prayed for. I even asked hubby to join in with that, and I posted on FB to my pals to consider praying for us.
Encouragement: Well, I sure posted on a lot of blogs! I didn't get everyone since Sunday, but nearly! And my thanks to all who stopped by and filled me up with good wishes.
Note to Susan re comment yesterday: While hubby and I didn't continue with CLAYMORE (I might recheck that one in future, as the ladies there do kick beastly hiney), is the opening theme you like the one by the group Nightmare~~"Raison d'etre"? (romaji and translation are HERE, though not video.)~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Loooove the J-rock boys!!! I have a cd of theirs, the one that includes the songs used in DEATH NOTE (terrific anime! really good tunes!) I like that band. Not as much as Buck-Tick (my fave) or L'arc-en-Ciel or Vamps (kinda tied) or Abingdon Boys School or Sid or Uverworld...but they have some fun tunes. Lead singer just goes a little flat or pitchy sometimes. But when he's on it...he's ON! ; )
I think the closing theme is beautiful with its Celtic bits/meets symphonia/meets J-Rock: "Danzai no Hana~~Guilty Sky"
And I love singing along with anime themes, so when they add the Romaji lyrics, I just love dat. Lately, I get a nutty kick out of the silly ending theme from DENPA ONNA TO SEISHUN OTOKO, the one that goes, "Kaze hiku no, kaze hiku no" in that little-girly ootsy-cutesy voice. Such fun....
Sleep: Working on making it longer and better. Really, I am!
Silly personal side note which will assure you I'm odd and rather dorky: I'm running low on my discontinued Les Bains du Marais "musc blanc" huile de soin, and that's like my "time to go to sleep" aromatherapy. Oh, man, I love that stuff. I shower, rub it on my inner forearms and chest and shoulders, so I smell it as I doze off. So relaxing. The bestest musk scent ever. Why do they discontinue stuff I love? Like FIREFLY (the TV show), or FELL (the comic), or like the TRIBECA flatware from Oneida.
Here me, world: If anyone wants to send their Musc Blanc huile to me, I will love you forever and ever. And if you have Tribeca dinner forks, them, too. I just ordered 6 from eBay out of desperation. Got the knives, salad forks, spoons. Forks: no. They're gone. Huh? I have no idea whey we keep losing forks. And athletic socks. We're disorganized idiots, I guess. Socks and forks. Do demons pilfer forks in the night? Are Fork Gnomes visiting my apartment while I shop for produce, then take my forks for subterranean feastings? Maybe aliens abduct them while I'm in a Les Bains du Marais White Musk dream haze?
Well, I guess I rambled enough. My apologies. It's a flaw.
I will endeavor to make this a stunningly good challenge day. I will pray it goes stunningly well for the 552--oh, wait, just 52? Whew!--of you fellow challengers.
Okay. New day. Time to deploy the weapons and be a warrior for health!
Here's a doodle by Rettakat on the warrior theme:
I really like it. Thanks, Retta! And I want to LIVE that mentality.
Happy and healthful Tuesday to all challengers and supporters!
Caloric Weapon misfire: Dang. My rifle drooped some. I went over calories. This is rare for me and it irks me. But, there it is. I wonder if I had a weird psychological thing going on like, "Oh, a challenge ended, lemme be lazy one last time before I throw myself into the next one."
I'm not used to using starches much, and when I input the rice, and tallied the EVOO, well, there we go: 1435.
That makes it more necessary for me to be at 1200 today. An occasional "feast" day of 1400 calories is fine--and how relative is THAT feast, huh, for the gal who used to eat 2500 in one sitting easy! This I know. Warriors can't slack. I don't want that to be habitual while on challenge, though there will be celebratory times when I will want more on certain days. For optimal loss, 1200 will do it. I've seen the proof of that.
Anyway, this morning, I feel LESS great. So, maybe my starch experiment is gonna be mighty short-lived. I like feeling super-duper. I don't wanna screw that up. My self-discovery continues, I guess.
On the exercise battlefront: 1 hour of Pilates and 25 minutes of walking. Well, thank God this weapon is primed, as it should make up for the overages in the caloric dept for yesterday.
On the push-ups stealth maneuvers: I dropped a couple times for some modified attempts last night after my walk. If you're working on that, too, and need to do it modified, like me, here's a short video primer and here's a really short one that might help.
Note: If you are one who can't afford to invest in a lot of exercise DVDs, don't have On Demand free exercise videos with your cable, and don't have access toAmazon or Netflix videos (on demand or otherwise), remember: The internet is your buddy. Youtube, Sparkpeople, and other sites have free exercise demonstrations from Yoga to Pilates to Bootcamp style to Zumba to Jazzercise to various spot exercises and etc. Lots of personal trainers put good stuff out there foryou.
Just seek and you will find.
Canteen check: Got my water/fluids in.
Vitamins inventory: Consumed, general, sir, yes, sir.
Prayer deployment: Yep, you all got prayed for. I even asked hubby to join in with that, and I posted on FB to my pals to consider praying for us.
Encouragement: Well, I sure posted on a lot of blogs! I didn't get everyone since Sunday, but nearly! And my thanks to all who stopped by and filled me up with good wishes.
Note to Susan re comment yesterday: While hubby and I didn't continue with CLAYMORE (I might recheck that one in future, as the ladies there do kick beastly hiney), is the opening theme you like the one by the group Nightmare~~"Raison d'etre"? (romaji and translation are HERE, though not video.)~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Loooove the J-rock boys!!! I have a cd of theirs, the one that includes the songs used in DEATH NOTE (terrific anime! really good tunes!) I like that band. Not as much as Buck-Tick (my fave) or L'arc-en-Ciel or Vamps (kinda tied) or Abingdon Boys School or Sid or Uverworld...but they have some fun tunes. Lead singer just goes a little flat or pitchy sometimes. But when he's on it...he's ON! ; )
I think the closing theme is beautiful with its Celtic bits/meets symphonia/meets J-Rock: "Danzai no Hana~~Guilty Sky"
And I love singing along with anime themes, so when they add the Romaji lyrics, I just love dat. Lately, I get a nutty kick out of the silly ending theme from DENPA ONNA TO SEISHUN OTOKO, the one that goes, "Kaze hiku no, kaze hiku no" in that little-girly ootsy-cutesy voice. Such fun....
Sleep: Working on making it longer and better. Really, I am!
Silly personal side note which will assure you I'm odd and rather dorky: I'm running low on my discontinued Les Bains du Marais "musc blanc" huile de soin, and that's like my "time to go to sleep" aromatherapy. Oh, man, I love that stuff. I shower, rub it on my inner forearms and chest and shoulders, so I smell it as I doze off. So relaxing. The bestest musk scent ever. Why do they discontinue stuff I love? Like FIREFLY (the TV show), or FELL (the comic), or like the TRIBECA flatware from Oneida.
Here me, world: If anyone wants to send their Musc Blanc huile to me, I will love you forever and ever. And if you have Tribeca dinner forks, them, too. I just ordered 6 from eBay out of desperation. Got the knives, salad forks, spoons. Forks: no. They're gone. Huh? I have no idea whey we keep losing forks. And athletic socks. We're disorganized idiots, I guess. Socks and forks. Do demons pilfer forks in the night? Are Fork Gnomes visiting my apartment while I shop for produce, then take my forks for subterranean feastings? Maybe aliens abduct them while I'm in a Les Bains du Marais White Musk dream haze?
Well, I guess I rambled enough. My apologies. It's a flaw.
I will endeavor to make this a stunningly good challenge day. I will pray it goes stunningly well for the 552--oh, wait, just 52? Whew!--of you fellow challengers.
Okay. New day. Time to deploy the weapons and be a warrior for health!
Here's a doodle by Rettakat on the warrior theme:
Happy and healthful Tuesday to all challengers and supporters!
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