I've noticed that since my Levoxyl was reduced last month, my mood is dipping, my energy is dipping, the hours I sleep are increasing, my face is feeling heavier, my appetite is up, my weight is up.
Now, there may not be a one-to-one correlation. I was also very sick with a viral respiratory infection, and that can take a toll. Up to now, I've blamed it on the virus, which knocked down my WBC count.
But I'm thinking this new doc may have made a mistake reducing my Levoxyl. I was only half a point out of range (into hyper). I was sleeping normally even at that reading. Now, prior to my weight loss, I was often TSH-range stable for a year plus. Since losing a lot of weight, even maintaining the loss a year and a half, my TSH rambles.
It got so bad a year ago, I had gout-like joint pain in my toes and arthritis-like pain all over my body. It was AWFUL.
But then it was hard to fine-tune. I take two meds, Cytomel and Levoxyl, and we've tried tweaking both. I either stay too high in TSH (hypo) for me to feel good or go too low in number (hyper) for the doc to like. And yes, when I was really hyper in June last year, having palpitations and night sweats and anxiety, that sucked. Though getting to 169.8 was pretty nice. It's not the way to do it, risking heart issues.
ANYWAY...It feels like I'm not optimal. Now. Not horrible like last year, but just a bit off. I wake up feeling sleepy. I drowse off on the sofa at 9pm (when I wasn't falling asleep on the sofa since the last time I was out of range, thyroid-wise.)
I didn't think I could get to a bad TSH number so soon (one month), but we'll see. It's vexing that I can't stay in my sweet spot, but we just gotta keep working on it. But right now, I suspect this gal is out of her best zone.
Sucks.
We press on.
Be well...
Showing posts with label thyroid issues. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thyroid issues. Show all posts
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Monday, December 10, 2012
Just the sporadic weight update...sickies resolving at last..
I've still got a bit of cough and bronchial good, but much less. I'm still not at peak energy level, but better. I suspect the thyroid is a wee out of whack, so I'll get that tested this week.
Tanita-san today: 176.2
That's up some from last check-in. No movement almost in 3 weeks, other than bed to couch to desk to couch to bed to desk to desk to couch...you get the idea.
I have (I think, must check) a trainer appt tomorrow. I had intended to cancel due to still feeling a bit out of it, but I didn't cancel within the 24 hour window. So, we shall see what tomorrow brings. Being sick put me back in vampire time mode, so I've been going to bed at 6 am and getting up at 3pm. Which sucks. Sucks a lot, after working so hard to become an earlier bird.
To be at the Pilates studio at 11 am, when I get sleepy at 6 to 7 pm is gonna be quite a feat, and we'll see. We'll see.
Okay, so good news: still in 170s. Bad news: not fully recovered from bronchitis and higher weight than last weigh-in. Good news: I'm still here and accountable. Bad News: I am not feeling mood-high. I'm a wee bit depressed, and considering this should be a happy, festive time of year, that is bad.
And that's the update for this Sunday. :D
Be well, ladies and gents. God bless...
Tanita-san today: 176.2
That's up some from last check-in. No movement almost in 3 weeks, other than bed to couch to desk to couch to bed to desk to desk to couch...you get the idea.
I have (I think, must check) a trainer appt tomorrow. I had intended to cancel due to still feeling a bit out of it, but I didn't cancel within the 24 hour window. So, we shall see what tomorrow brings. Being sick put me back in vampire time mode, so I've been going to bed at 6 am and getting up at 3pm. Which sucks. Sucks a lot, after working so hard to become an earlier bird.
To be at the Pilates studio at 11 am, when I get sleepy at 6 to 7 pm is gonna be quite a feat, and we'll see. We'll see.
Okay, so good news: still in 170s. Bad news: not fully recovered from bronchitis and higher weight than last weigh-in. Good news: I'm still here and accountable. Bad News: I am not feeling mood-high. I'm a wee bit depressed, and considering this should be a happy, festive time of year, that is bad.
And that's the update for this Sunday. :D
Be well, ladies and gents. God bless...
Friday, June 8, 2012
Heat Intolerance sucks
I went walking for the first time in 3 weeks yesterday with hubby. We waited until evening so it was a bit cooler. We've had hot, humid weather. Lots of thunderstorms (what kept me inside at first, then the mood issues demotivated me.)
I could barely tolerate it. Made it through 20 minutes only by focusing. I felt so hot and weak, like I was gonna pass out. My legs were shaky. I was panting. I felt woozy.
I'll note that I did my Pilates session with my trainer and got through it fine. Indoors. With a/c. But the heat/humidity outside got to me. 8pm and it was overcast, humid, and in the 80s.
I walked fine all last summer, even in humid weather, and that was when I was a bit hypothyroid, so I was feeling "chilly", as hypothyroid folks will tend to when they are a bit out of range. I was comfy for the most part last summer, and enjoyed having a time outside.
I guess when I see the endo in July (regularly scheduled appt), I'll find out if she needs to tweak me. I want to be able to walk again, but it's a fine line where I am euthyroid, and it's hard to STAY there.
Heat intolerance is tough. I start hyperventilating, feeling weak, feeling like I'm gonna burn up and pass out. Hate it. Wish I had a normal thyroid and didn't have to keep adjusting meds with weight changes or after active thyroiditis incidents. Well, you do what you can and keep the faith that medical science progress improves the situation.
I miss walking now. Wish someone could follow me around blasting icy air. :D
Be well...
I could barely tolerate it. Made it through 20 minutes only by focusing. I felt so hot and weak, like I was gonna pass out. My legs were shaky. I was panting. I felt woozy.
I'll note that I did my Pilates session with my trainer and got through it fine. Indoors. With a/c. But the heat/humidity outside got to me. 8pm and it was overcast, humid, and in the 80s.
I walked fine all last summer, even in humid weather, and that was when I was a bit hypothyroid, so I was feeling "chilly", as hypothyroid folks will tend to when they are a bit out of range. I was comfy for the most part last summer, and enjoyed having a time outside.
I guess when I see the endo in July (regularly scheduled appt), I'll find out if she needs to tweak me. I want to be able to walk again, but it's a fine line where I am euthyroid, and it's hard to STAY there.
Heat intolerance is tough. I start hyperventilating, feeling weak, feeling like I'm gonna burn up and pass out. Hate it. Wish I had a normal thyroid and didn't have to keep adjusting meds with weight changes or after active thyroiditis incidents. Well, you do what you can and keep the faith that medical science progress improves the situation.
I miss walking now. Wish someone could follow me around blasting icy air. :D
Be well...
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Ready for Summer Update #3: Not Very Motivated, Not Really Wanting to Blog, Stressed, Some thoughts on the SetPoints, Doc Appt, and Not Quitting. :D
Note: I started to write this Monday, my challenge weigh-in day, and then just...dropped it. Gosh, I just have not felt like blogging. Anyway, time to finish and publish~~~
Last week: 177.8
Waist: 34.75
As you can see, nearly 2 pounds up. And how frustrating is that?
Doesn't help I'm into the salty stuff again: very salty take-out chicken, very salty takeout dressings on salad, very salty parmeson on salads. But I cannot discount the calories. It doesn't take much above 1600 for me to see rebounds.
I am so not in a good mood. I wake up feeling demotivated. I try to perk up, cheer myself, do motivating things..and just fall flat. I'm in a funk.
I didn't meet my exercise, caloric, or weight loss goals.
I only got 2 cardio in (not four), but I did do two strengthening.
My fluids were fine.
Calories were, except for two days, over 1500 (under 2000)
Had a doc appt Friday, and my thyroid is still not optimal, so she put me on a higher dose of one of my two thyroid meds. (She raised the levothyroxine back in Feb. This time, we're upping the Cytomel.) Hopefully, this one is the winning combo. My temps are a bit higher (still not in the 98, but ranging up to 97.8, which is a great improvement over the 97.0 temps I was getting a lot up through Feb.)
I take my notebook and pen to appts, take notes of vitals and what the doc suggests I do before next check up, etc. I was 182 on her scale (which is usually +3 to 4 lbs based on what I wear, and makes sense as I was roughly 178 on my scale at home) and blood pressure was fine. Office temp was 96.8, which was alarming, but the gal said that they count it about a whole point or more higher, as they use the dots (not standard thermometer), so that jives witih home temps. (Why don't they just use better quality thermometers, I wanna know?)
My battles in this five-pound range (177+ to 182+) is convincing me more and more about this setpoint stuff. Granted, there is some science behind it (go read research on it, not gonna list it here, and pubmed lets you read abstracts), but for me, it's been that whole experiential thing. (And observing it in some weight loss bloggers over the years). You reach a particular number, and it just doesn't wanna budge from that range.
You go down to your lower level, and you get hungry or something. You go back up, you calm down. YOu try to go down again: hungry. You go back up a few pounds: calm down.
I dunno, but seems to me it's like the brain saying: "We like it here. We're staying here. If you want to go lower, we're gonna fight it with hunger hormones and you will cave or you will just live with ongoing hunger."
This is what I seem to be in the midst of. And I don't like being hungry. One of the best tihngs about this last attempt at weight loss is that hunger has been minimal to nil on lower calories (which never was a reality for me in the past). I have not binged in, well, it will be two years come May. I have not had that raging hunger beast. It's been nice. And some days, I could go all day without eating and feel calm.
But now, when I get down to 177 point whatever, I start getting the, "Oh, i want...oh, I want...". To me, this is physiological, not psychological.
The psychological comes AFTER. When I get bummed that I hit that wall. The wall defeats me!
Well, I have not given up. I want to bust this wall down. I don't know how without having it rebound with hunger, despite trying all sorts of stuff so far in the last 6 or so months. I am not a wit's end...just near it. :D
The only NSV I can think of is that I didn't cave in to the hunger more. I really could have easily just...gone back to semi-binge mode. I was close...just the "I want, I want, i want."
The other stress issue is still present and I'm countering it with positive thoughts and trying to rein in my worrywart tendencies. I can only do what I can do...so I'm trying to be...proactive. :D
As far as Maren's mini-challenge: I failed. I only got through 1/2 of the challengers (though, granted, that was 20+, as this is a large challenge). I barely read my email and didn't blog, so going to so many blogs felt like it was adding to my load of stress. So, well, there it is.
So, goals for THIS week:
In that other project area: I've continued work on the decluttering, which was a major focus last week, and I threw out a total of 7 lawn and leaf bags of crap. The work continues to simplify my life (in many areas).
That's pretty much it. I would like to hear if any of y'all who've lost a lot of weight (like 50 or 70 lbs + ) have experienced this weird "stuck around a number" after a substantial loss, with hunger issues when a bottom is reached, rebound, etc.
And I hope you're all doing well, and way better than me, moodwise and frustration wise. Keep the faith, the hope, and never quit.
I won't.
God bless..
Weight: 179.4
Waist: 34.75
Last week: 177.8
Waist: 34.75
As you can see, nearly 2 pounds up. And how frustrating is that?
Doesn't help I'm into the salty stuff again: very salty take-out chicken, very salty takeout dressings on salad, very salty parmeson on salads. But I cannot discount the calories. It doesn't take much above 1600 for me to see rebounds.
I am so not in a good mood. I wake up feeling demotivated. I try to perk up, cheer myself, do motivating things..and just fall flat. I'm in a funk.
I didn't meet my exercise, caloric, or weight loss goals.
I only got 2 cardio in (not four), but I did do two strengthening.
My fluids were fine.
Calories were, except for two days, over 1500 (under 2000)
Had a doc appt Friday, and my thyroid is still not optimal, so she put me on a higher dose of one of my two thyroid meds. (She raised the levothyroxine back in Feb. This time, we're upping the Cytomel.) Hopefully, this one is the winning combo. My temps are a bit higher (still not in the 98, but ranging up to 97.8, which is a great improvement over the 97.0 temps I was getting a lot up through Feb.)
 |
| Ready to take notes in the Endocrinologist's exam room |
My battles in this five-pound range (177+ to 182+) is convincing me more and more about this setpoint stuff. Granted, there is some science behind it (go read research on it, not gonna list it here, and pubmed lets you read abstracts), but for me, it's been that whole experiential thing. (And observing it in some weight loss bloggers over the years). You reach a particular number, and it just doesn't wanna budge from that range.
You go down to your lower level, and you get hungry or something. You go back up, you calm down. YOu try to go down again: hungry. You go back up a few pounds: calm down.
I dunno, but seems to me it's like the brain saying: "We like it here. We're staying here. If you want to go lower, we're gonna fight it with hunger hormones and you will cave or you will just live with ongoing hunger."
This is what I seem to be in the midst of. And I don't like being hungry. One of the best tihngs about this last attempt at weight loss is that hunger has been minimal to nil on lower calories (which never was a reality for me in the past). I have not binged in, well, it will be two years come May. I have not had that raging hunger beast. It's been nice. And some days, I could go all day without eating and feel calm.
But now, when I get down to 177 point whatever, I start getting the, "Oh, i want...oh, I want...". To me, this is physiological, not psychological.
The psychological comes AFTER. When I get bummed that I hit that wall. The wall defeats me!
Well, I have not given up. I want to bust this wall down. I don't know how without having it rebound with hunger, despite trying all sorts of stuff so far in the last 6 or so months. I am not a wit's end...just near it. :D
The only NSV I can think of is that I didn't cave in to the hunger more. I really could have easily just...gone back to semi-binge mode. I was close...just the "I want, I want, i want."
The other stress issue is still present and I'm countering it with positive thoughts and trying to rein in my worrywart tendencies. I can only do what I can do...so I'm trying to be...proactive. :D
As far as Maren's mini-challenge: I failed. I only got through 1/2 of the challengers (though, granted, that was 20+, as this is a large challenge). I barely read my email and didn't blog, so going to so many blogs felt like it was adding to my load of stress. So, well, there it is.
So, goals for THIS week:
Weight: no more regain, begin to turn this backI plan to stick out this challenge. I notice that week one's update had 59 links. Week two had 46 links . Week three has 42 so far, and that's including my late one. How many of us will be there at challenge's end? I hope MOST!
Waist: no more, hopefully 34.5
calories: 1500 cap, and trying to do better with that.
Fluids: same, 10 glasses a day or more
Exercise: original goals--4 cardio, 2 strengthening.
Blogging: To not miss "by Monday" update, and to blog at least two more days to keep mind in the game.
Reading: try to figure out what to do about this setpoint issue that doesn't include massive hunger (ie, radical calorie reduction that I am NOT willing to do) or freaky theories (like ice baths, also not willing to do). If there is a solution, I'm on the hunt for it. I may need to find a physician that specializes in metabolic issues, and see if I can get tested for the finer stuff going on (leptin, etc). More research.
In that other project area: I've continued work on the decluttering, which was a major focus last week, and I threw out a total of 7 lawn and leaf bags of crap. The work continues to simplify my life (in many areas).
That's pretty much it. I would like to hear if any of y'all who've lost a lot of weight (like 50 or 70 lbs + ) have experienced this weird "stuck around a number" after a substantial loss, with hunger issues when a bottom is reached, rebound, etc.
And I hope you're all doing well, and way better than me, moodwise and frustration wise. Keep the faith, the hope, and never quit.
I won't.
God bless..
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Final Update: E2E Challenge and an eye to a future challenge for those "Close to Goal"...
Tanita-san now: 177.8 lbs
Starting weight: 183.0 lbsEnding waist: 34.75 inches
Starting waist: 36.0 inches Challenge loss: 5.2 lbs
Waist decrease: 1.25 inchesI did not meet my challenge goal to lose 10 pounds. I lost a bit over half.
I did meet my challenge goal to get my waist under 35 inches. I measure with a Myotape, always, for years, so it may or may not be accurate, but at least it shows a consistency.
I found out a month and a week into the challenge that my thyroid status was bad. This certainly helps explain why I was having trouble and gaining/regaining, was losing hair, had horrible joint pain (gout-like pain), suffered increasing lethargy, experienced lowered mood, and slept up to 16 hours some days, 14 others.
I'm pretty sure that this is improving,though I dont' get retested until next week. My hair loss has stabilized. My energy is up. I'm sleeping fewer hours, the weird joint pains have resolved and all that's left are the usual arthritic/bursitic/torn ligament issues and pain. And after having regained to 184 pounds and change, I'm back down to my nearly lowest weight on this journey. I'd say the increased thyroid med dosage has come into play. :D
I still do not fit into the dress, though I fit BETTER into it. I'll just repost the pics from a couple days back, since it's pretty much where the dress fits now:
My starting weight/stats/photos can be viewed here.
I stayed hydrated nearly every day of this challenge. I supported my buddy and some fellow challengers--and it was never my goal to support ALL 18, but I always met the minimum of supporting at least 3 a week in addition to my buddy. I never missed setting up a linky for the challenge-mates. I didn't quit.
My main helpful book this challenge was THE WILLPOWER INSTINCT, and if you have willpower issues, yes, I recommend it. The other book for the challenge was THE SMARTER SCIENCE OF SLIM. If you've gotten to obesity and want a healthful way of eating that helps keep appetite calm and gets you plenty of nutrients and has some science behind it, this is a good one. Lots of studies, charts, and a very easy recommendation for a high-protein eating plan that keeps you full.
These two following were my guiding quotes, and they still apply. I will see them as quotes useful for the whole of 2012 or life:
"The ability to discipline yourself to delay gratification in the short term in order to enjoy greater rewards in the long term is the indispensable prerequisite for success."
~~Maxwell Maltz
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
~~Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
For me, after a time of struggle and health status decline, just hanging in and regaining ground feels like a victory. Imagine if I had quit...if I had tossed in the towel . I'd be 20 or more pounds heavier by now, given my lousy thyroid measure (5.5 points HIGHER than my normal status). I'd have eaten my way in short order back well into obesity. It's ridiculously easy to gain. Is this not so? It's hard to fight when you feel down, stressed, beset, tired, unmotivated.
It's what you and I do when times are rough that will determine how this works out long-term. If you give up, you lose the fight. If you keep at it, keep at it, keep at it, seeking solutions, finding strategies, working to hold on to even the smallest miniscule of motivation or lightest molecule of hope, there's a chance to turn it around.
But not if you QUIT.
I did not quit. Almost all of the challengers (17 out of 18) did not quit, and our Bluezy came back for the finale. I'm hoping all 18 of us check in by noon Monday!
I'm very proud of them.
I'm proud of me.
God bless us all and help us as we continue on this difficult journey to better health and a happy weight. For life!
I'll see you guys in the Ready for Summer challenge --my second week update will be posted prolly on Monday--and around our bloggy realm of fatfighters.
Finally, an announcement: FUTURE CHALLENGE IN THE WORKS!
I am considering a challenge for later in the summer called "Close to Goal" for those with 25 or fewer pounds to lose: That last stretch toward whatever is the chosen goal weight.
I'd want to keep it smallish and for those who have already lost a lot and just need to push through those tough last bunch of pounds. If that's something you might be interested in, keep an eye open. I'll probably fiddle with a a blog url I already claimed and, if time permits, play with the layout. There's a temporary blog theme there now.
I'll set it up in a few weeks at http://close2goal.blogspot.com.
Just an early heads up for those who may be interested, be qualified (have lost lots, need to lose a bit more) --with priority given to those who have already done and completed challenges with me. (If you quit on any of my challenges, don't join. I only want folks who'll stick it out. Sorry, but I get irked when people drop out of my challenges.)
So, see you soon, my dears. BE WELL. Blessings upon you....a holy Passover time...and a very, very joyful, love-filled, hope-assured Easter. Believe in a whole new life for yourself and others!
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Still metabolically snailing it...says the thermometer...and dancing with laughter with the B52s and hubby...Plus the BEST walking/dancing bra EVER for the busty gals who wanna LOOK nice......and feeling very grateful...
When I was feeling purely crappy before, I took my oral morning temps to see what was going on. I believe I posted on it. I was measuring 97.0 to 97.3, with one rare jump to 97.5
I am measuring now between 97.3 and 97.5. So, um, well, some improvement, but not great. Once I move around, have breakfast etc, I jump to 97.8.
That's still pretty "chilly".
I was hoping after a month now on my higher T4 dosage (cause my doc is really stubborn and won't give me more T3, which tells me I need to look for a new doc, frankly), I expected better. I've added micronutrients beneficial for the thyroid--zinc, copper, selenium, iodine--to my diet. Make a point to have kelp or seaweed now and then. Upped my carbs some (cause this helps with T4 to T3 conversion). I suspect I really need MORE T3 and less T4 to feel optimal.
Why are endos so fricken close-minded about this? I had to walk into the exam room with print-outs of studies to convince my previous doc in 2010 to add Cytomel to my regimen. And she was still reluctant.
I know I'm improving in other ways. I am able to walk without feeling like I weigh 300 pounds again. I can dance without feeling like I'm gonna fall down. I sometimes feel warm (which was not happening in the previous two months, when I had bad chills, and was sleeping with higher number on the a/c and extra blankets). Hair is not falling out as quickly. Joints don't feel like I have a massive acute attack of arthritis. Face doesn't feel like a blank mask. Eyes don't feel heavy and saggy (except for the normal aging sagginess). Not needing to sleep 14 hours...Down to 10. :D
But I really, really, firmly believe what I need is more T3, and dang, I'm gonna have pray that God budges my endo on this.
In the meantime, I've been researching for endos who are more Armour and T3 friendly (ie, not stuck in the T4 only box). It's not easy. Some sound like quacks. Others are too far to drive in Florida. Locally, I just gotta search some more.
I was really happy when that slightly reluctant endo in June of 2010 --not my original one, but another in her practice, as that's seen to me since 1998, after a chillingly bad experience with another endo!--let me try Cytomel. A WORLD OF DIFFERENCE! No lie. It's what allowed me to see better mood and perhaps was key in allowing me to have enough energy and positivity (ie, lifting of depression) to begin a serious diet.
Mood cannot be discounted in overeating. Y'all know that?
Since it did me a crazy butt world of good, I don't see why they are so reluctant to change the ratio. Lots of ladies out there are feeling better on more T3. Maybe I'd be one of them, dunno, but maybe.
Anyhow, making progress (from the physical and temp markers), but still in slower metabolic land. But hey, I used to have temp readings in the 96. The doc once had me at 95 point something (forget the decimal) in her office, which was the tip-off to check my thyroid. (At that point, the whole, dry as desert skin, chills even in summer, gaining weight steadily and alarmingly, suicidal ideations, and sleeping 20 hours a day should have been a bigger tip-off, don't ya think?)
This is one of my "deal with it for life" issues, and dang, how I wish I was normal. Must be nice. ; ) But I believe in counting blessings. So, I will:
I am grateful for improvements. Thank God for good medicine and supplements and good food and exercise and rest and love and hope. :D It all works together. I was just feeling amazing happy and grateful over my breakfast of Canadian bacon, eggs, and Concorde pear yumminess--hubby found some for me, hooray, hooray!!--just grateful for having food in abundance, and grateful I don't abuse it anymore. Just overflowing in my heart with thanks.
Which is good. It's really good to remember that abundance of food can be a blight of temptation, but it's a huge blessing in a "mostly hungry" world. Remember that. For the sake of those who have not and dream of having, choose well.
Hope everyone is having a lovely week. Full of gratitude. Full of good choices.
We had some nice cooler weather in the last couple days--refreshing!--and I have been feeling pretty giddy-happy again. Smiley me is in full force! Well...
Except for the wee crying jag when I looked at a pic of my mom and just missed her and dad so much I lost it. Just a few minutes, then gratitude for having been loved so much by my parents. Poor, hardworking folks who did it all for family. God, it hurts to lose loved ones! But I'm smiling, too, cause my mom is still one of my heroes. :D
Watched the B52s on PBS last night and danced the whole time we watched. Giddy-happy (like I said.) I saw them live in a long gone, once-hip, local venue in 1979 and they were AMAZINGLY FUN. And they may be old, but they're STILL FUN. I love me some Kate and Cindy and Fred and Keith! (I went and preordered the DVD.) Such nostalgia.
Hubby got one of his guitars and jammed along while I danced like a crazy middle-aged gal who once loved dancing the night away in better-joint-health days. I can't shimmy like I used to. I can't go "down, down" to the ground in ROCK LOBSTER with my crap knees. But I can move the way I can move, and I do! With energy, hard breathing, sweat and blood pumping wildly as my reward. (I ended up dancing in my bra--my wonderful underwire Wacoal sports bra that I love for walking and is worth EVERY EXPENSIVE BIT OF PRICE cause it keeps me in place without crushing the tatas into mush--cause I got so overheated!)
Here's my darling man last night, before he stood up to play the last couple songs:
(holding spot for when I stop being lazy and upload the pic from iPhone)
So, go dance and believe in healing and a better weight for yourself. As long as you breathe, have hope and go for it!
Be well...
I am measuring now between 97.3 and 97.5. So, um, well, some improvement, but not great. Once I move around, have breakfast etc, I jump to 97.8.
That's still pretty "chilly".
I was hoping after a month now on my higher T4 dosage (cause my doc is really stubborn and won't give me more T3, which tells me I need to look for a new doc, frankly), I expected better. I've added micronutrients beneficial for the thyroid--zinc, copper, selenium, iodine--to my diet. Make a point to have kelp or seaweed now and then. Upped my carbs some (cause this helps with T4 to T3 conversion). I suspect I really need MORE T3 and less T4 to feel optimal.
Why are endos so fricken close-minded about this? I had to walk into the exam room with print-outs of studies to convince my previous doc in 2010 to add Cytomel to my regimen. And she was still reluctant.
I know I'm improving in other ways. I am able to walk without feeling like I weigh 300 pounds again. I can dance without feeling like I'm gonna fall down. I sometimes feel warm (which was not happening in the previous two months, when I had bad chills, and was sleeping with higher number on the a/c and extra blankets). Hair is not falling out as quickly. Joints don't feel like I have a massive acute attack of arthritis. Face doesn't feel like a blank mask. Eyes don't feel heavy and saggy (except for the normal aging sagginess). Not needing to sleep 14 hours...Down to 10. :D
But I really, really, firmly believe what I need is more T3, and dang, I'm gonna have pray that God budges my endo on this.
In the meantime, I've been researching for endos who are more Armour and T3 friendly (ie, not stuck in the T4 only box). It's not easy. Some sound like quacks. Others are too far to drive in Florida. Locally, I just gotta search some more.
I was really happy when that slightly reluctant endo in June of 2010 --not my original one, but another in her practice, as that's seen to me since 1998, after a chillingly bad experience with another endo!--let me try Cytomel. A WORLD OF DIFFERENCE! No lie. It's what allowed me to see better mood and perhaps was key in allowing me to have enough energy and positivity (ie, lifting of depression) to begin a serious diet.
Mood cannot be discounted in overeating. Y'all know that?
Since it did me a crazy butt world of good, I don't see why they are so reluctant to change the ratio. Lots of ladies out there are feeling better on more T3. Maybe I'd be one of them, dunno, but maybe.
Anyhow, making progress (from the physical and temp markers), but still in slower metabolic land. But hey, I used to have temp readings in the 96. The doc once had me at 95 point something (forget the decimal) in her office, which was the tip-off to check my thyroid. (At that point, the whole, dry as desert skin, chills even in summer, gaining weight steadily and alarmingly, suicidal ideations, and sleeping 20 hours a day should have been a bigger tip-off, don't ya think?)
This is one of my "deal with it for life" issues, and dang, how I wish I was normal. Must be nice. ; ) But I believe in counting blessings. So, I will:
I am grateful for improvements. Thank God for good medicine and supplements and good food and exercise and rest and love and hope. :D It all works together. I was just feeling amazing happy and grateful over my breakfast of Canadian bacon, eggs, and Concorde pear yumminess--hubby found some for me, hooray, hooray!!--just grateful for having food in abundance, and grateful I don't abuse it anymore. Just overflowing in my heart with thanks.
Which is good. It's really good to remember that abundance of food can be a blight of temptation, but it's a huge blessing in a "mostly hungry" world. Remember that. For the sake of those who have not and dream of having, choose well.
Hope everyone is having a lovely week. Full of gratitude. Full of good choices.
We had some nice cooler weather in the last couple days--refreshing!--and I have been feeling pretty giddy-happy again. Smiley me is in full force! Well...
Except for the wee crying jag when I looked at a pic of my mom and just missed her and dad so much I lost it. Just a few minutes, then gratitude for having been loved so much by my parents. Poor, hardworking folks who did it all for family. God, it hurts to lose loved ones! But I'm smiling, too, cause my mom is still one of my heroes. :D
Watched the B52s on PBS last night and danced the whole time we watched. Giddy-happy (like I said.) I saw them live in a long gone, once-hip, local venue in 1979 and they were AMAZINGLY FUN. And they may be old, but they're STILL FUN. I love me some Kate and Cindy and Fred and Keith! (I went and preordered the DVD.) Such nostalgia.
Hubby got one of his guitars and jammed along while I danced like a crazy middle-aged gal who once loved dancing the night away in better-joint-health days. I can't shimmy like I used to. I can't go "down, down" to the ground in ROCK LOBSTER with my crap knees. But I can move the way I can move, and I do! With energy, hard breathing, sweat and blood pumping wildly as my reward. (I ended up dancing in my bra--my wonderful underwire Wacoal sports bra that I love for walking and is worth EVERY EXPENSIVE BIT OF PRICE cause it keeps me in place without crushing the tatas into mush--cause I got so overheated!)
Here's my darling man last night, before he stood up to play the last couple songs:
(holding spot for when I stop being lazy and upload the pic from iPhone)
So, go dance and believe in healing and a better weight for yourself. As long as you breathe, have hope and go for it!
Be well...
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
E2E Midweek Update #8: A long and about-all-sorts-of stuff post....including~~~When "Not Red"= "Blue"; a middle of the night crisis; and just looking for the way through, cause I've been lower and I know there's a way up...plus a bunch of pics cause I gots a new iPhone for Birthday!..and can floral prints and red lipstick and Free Jazz jolt me out the dark?
The word which God has written on the brow of every man is Hope.
VICTOR HUGO, Les Misérables
I'm in recovery mode in a lot of ways.
1. Ate way more than I planned to or wanted to at my birthday party. Unlike last year, I had double servings. In all, I ended up at around 2600 calories.
2. I have hit the salty stuff again. Been craving feta and olives. Yeah...
3. Am still in all-over joint pain, and am angry about it.
4. Just am angry in general and feeling really betrayed by my body --again, since this is an old story with me and my defective body. I first wanted to kill myself when I was 9, and I hated my sickly body then. Today, I'm fighting the hate...again.
Tanita-san was 183.4 after my birthday. It's 181.6 today.
And last night, I think I hit a crisis in all this. Like at 2:30 in the AM, in bed, I had this passing, lightly voiced though: "I wish I could close my eyes and not open them again."
It startled me into wakefulness and I jostled hubby to talk. (poor dear man) He prayed over me, we talked. I was able to sleep after that, but I felt sad. I felt like the wonderful, happy, energetic, motivated, cheery, "getting healthy" me was just evaporating and the old crap depressed, unmotivated, apathetic, self-hating me was reimposiging. Like when You see one body fade out in Star Trek and another fade in the transporter. I felt this overwhelming fear of getting older and sicker and all this work being for naught.
I fear that it's a losing a battle.
Then I try to rah-rah myself out of those thoughts.
Then they come back.
Pom-poms. Dark thoughts. Forced smile. Dark thoughts....
I have this Jekyll/Hyde thing going on. I work myself up into some motivation, but then it fades and I mope around wanting to do nothing. I tell myself I'm gonna get better, then the pain in my body and the lack of vim reminds me that even with all the sacrifices, hard work, costly foods, costly trainer, when it comes down to it, I'm defective, and my body will turn around and whack me on the head when I least expect it. Betrayal. I'm sick of that shit.
And then I get angry again.
Anyway, today, instead of dragging and moping out of bed, I turned on the radio when the alarm went off. I put on a Christian show and forced myself to focus on positive, healing things. I stayed in bed for an hour, sometimes talking to my body, sometimes begging it to stop hurting and heal up.
I need patience. I need to remember that I've felt WORSE. I've been lower. I think of those much worse off, pray for THEM and feel bad for being so self-absorbed and selfish. But, eventually, nothing brings one's thoughts back to oneself than a body part letting itself be known as malfunctioning.
I figure Lent begins today, and what I want to give up for Lent is the pattern of self-absorbed self-pity. To acquire patience and wait until my thyroid normalizes. If the pains remain, then know it's time to see the rheumatologist. To accept that aging brings this crap to many of us, and I'm no exception. To know it would be worse had I not done what I've done for 1 1/2 years--the right stuff.
I have not lost hope. But I feel this ugly slide that seems beyond my control, the body doing stuff to the mind. Happens.
So, yeah, back to routine. I can't walk or exercise like I had been, so I just find what I CAN do--even if it's finding that chair exercise show/DVD. Even if it's taking "marching in place" breaks when I'm on the puter. Even if it's isometric. Even if it's just arm stuff when I'm watching tv. Something. Push the apathy aside and do it for my good.
I'm gonna try to figure out how to Vlog, as I think maybe trying something new will be helpful. I'm sure I'm not videogenic, and this is a bit anxiety-provoking for me, the gal who always used to avoid cameras (had no photographer at my wedding, for instance). But, I got an iPhone for my birthday (lost my old phone the day before, so the timing was great), and I might as well learn to use it for blogging and self-development. :D
Some of the first pics taken with my camera:
This is the actual initial photo:
 |
| Decaf and water before food, and you can see I didn't really fix up my hair! |
We ended at a diner that's open late, since we got out of the mall just after 10pm with my new phone. They have a huge, multi-laminated-page menu, but I flipped right to the salad page, which is across from the low-carb page:
 |
| I had the "Greek" with chicken... |
Just took some new pics:
I had my typical breakfast, and was grateful to have it and enjoy it and be filled by it. (yep, thankfulness is part of my "rehab"). I'm doing this update as I drink my second cup o' joe...and now it's time for vitamins:
 |
| Yummy java is gone, watermelon and vitamins to go! |
As I sit here typing, uploading, sipping, I'm looking at my feet and they are like a the visual objective correlative" to my emo-state:
 |
| Unpedicured: A bad sign! |
Here's the deal: Anyone who has read my blogs for years and has seen pics of my weigh-in feet or feet in general knows I always have pedicured feet. Red or pinky red or warm orangey reds or deep burgundies, but usually a pretty red. Siren red being my fave types. Rich, deep, sexy reds.
Those toes have no red. My toes have been UNred for nearly two weeks. This hasn't happened in years. Seriously, the only time my nekkid toenails see the light of day is the hour or so it takes to take off polish, cut, file, buff, neaten cuticles, etc, before the next layering of polish goes on. Naked toenails says A LOT about how I've been feeling.
Not red = blue.
Red is my happy color. I've used my red bags and shoes more lately to try to cheer myself up, but I haven't mustered up the energy to do my toes (I do my own feet.) It makes me sad to see naked toes. I need to get to it...who knows? Might help. Red toes = joy.
I do still put red on my lips. Some of my birthday splurge haul:
 |
| One of these things is not like the others... L'Absolu NOT! |
I can't wear eye makeup (allergies), so I tend to go nuts with lipstick and blushers. And I love red variations--more than coppers, browns, plums, mauves, pinks, corals, oranges, peaches. I love red! And I look good in red. :D The Nars run $25 each and the Lancome is $29, so these are PRICEY!!!!!!!!!!!! I got two of my very fave Nars glossses (Misbehave, Scandal). Because I was made so happy by the Lancome Rouge Absolute that I got for Christmas (I posted a pic back then), I decided to try this somewhat cooler and a lot sheerer red in the new line.
Sucks. Sucks bad. My perfectly smooth, spoiled with care lips began cracking and peeling within hours. Yeah, thanks...$29 bucks for an allergic reaction.
I searched online and saw a few comments from other reviewers that this particular lipstick (line?) caused dryness and reactions. So, I recommend if you even considered this crazy expensive lippie: STAY WAY. Repeat after me, "L'Absolutely NOT!"
Get the Rouge Absolute if you want a great, creamy, beautiful, sexy red. :D
I'm returning it to Sephora. First return EVER to that store. This lipstick sucked.
Oh, and on a note for previous update: I tried on the dress Sunday, but hubby and I were rushing to leave for my party and no pics got taken. But no progress, obviously, and a little retrograde movement, as the zipper went higher than first pic on the initial E2E post, but lower than second pic I took a couple weeks back. Which makes sense as I had gone UP some onTanita-San....
I wish I had taken birthday pics. Sigh. None to share.
 |
| The Dress, Not Me.. |
It was an intentional strategy to work on "upping" my mood. I went in a blaze of glory of colors....my lips were so shiny, planes may have been diverted by accident by the startling reflection.
Well, it helped. Never underestimate the power of color. For a while, it was cheering.
So, a long and sort of episodic update. Things are not good. Things will get better.
I don't necessarily plan to update a lot, or visit blogs much--sorry!-- so I wanted to make sure to have my say in this one. I want to spend more time meditating and reading Scripture and praying and looking at the stars and enjoying the explosion of flowers in my garden and just remembering to HOPE and BELIEVE that this, too, shall pass.
Because nothing is worse than giving in to the dark.
Light ....light is where it's at.
Okay, I'm off to have more water and shower and be presentable to get my organic goodies. And if my energy holds out, hubby has offered to take me to a newish local spot for "out of the ordinary" performers to see...
Him:
and them, too.
"Free Jazz". It's an experience and not the general "cuppa tea". But hubby and I did the jazz concert thing a lot in our dating and newlywed days. I have mighty romantic associations with Jaco Pastorius, Chick Correa, Larry Carlton, Gato Barbieri, Jeff Lorber with Kenny G, Paco de Lucia, et al.
If my energy is up for it--it's until 11:30 pm and it is a worknight for my tootsie--it might be something to help with this tide-turning endeavor of mine. Who knows what odd "free" sounds might do to the chemicals and the brain, yes? Vibrations are mighty things..and music is potent stuff.
Okay, peace out. :)
Be well...I'm working on it....
And the quotes for this challenge:
"The ability to discipline yourself to delay gratification in the short term in order to enjoy greater rewards in the long term is the indispensable prerequisite for success."~Maxwell Maltz"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.~Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
I feel boring today; Portion creep; Salt Overload; Cytomel and my progress; Dismissive Doctors; Plugging Along...
I've been trying to figure out what the heck to blog about just to keep blogging. I feel really boring. I hate that.
So, maybe mention the portion creep I noticed going on here this week. It's not like I feel totally bingey or hugely hungry (though I have slacked off on both water and in-between meals protein-shakes). I have actually let myself get to the point of hunger, which tends not to be a good thing in my case (though it may work fine in yours). When I get hungry, I get a bit frantic and that's when I set myself up for impulse take-outs/delivery orders. I've fought the pizza cravings and the Chinese food take-out cravings well so far...and it's not easy.
But it's 10x stronger when I let myself get hungry.
As a consequence of the laxity in water and hunger-stopgapping shakes, I've had bigger portions at lunch/dinner (still okay at breakfast). Not so much that I should gain--except for the salt bloat, and yes, I have dark circles under my eyes to prove I've overindulged in the white substance--not crack, but I guess my version of it. I love salt. I love it more than sugar.
I've had food delivery (pre-bought, low-cal) yesterday and today. It was from a Groupon set I bought a while back for SHAPELOVERS. I've used them in the past when I felt depressed or ill and didn't wanna cook. I do not feel depressed or ill, but I didn't wanna cook. :) So, I used one of my Groupons.
I've had their lower cal, turkey ham version of Spanish Tortilla for breakfast (yesterday, today) with Alpine Lace swiss cheese (one slice, 70 cals) on top for added calcium and yumsiness. I don't really care for turkey ham, but it was filling enough. I added a tomato yesterday. Today, mushrooms.
Today, I splurged on a whole tall can of Amy & Brian coconut water to fight the salt bloat, which is considerable today after having two cups of a super-saltilicious soup from the Lebanese place. It was lentils, chickpeas and a wee bit of beef in the broth, and very tasty, but the sodium tasted off the charts!
Lunch (late today) is gonna be kept under 500 cals, I just haven't decided yet whether it's gonna be the ShapeLovers Walnut Chicken (really tasty) or one of the WonderSlim entress with added veggies. The pick-up for my organic produce was delayed to tomorrow, so I have zip greens or veggies other than tomatoes, onions, and peppers in the house (and some frozen peas and maybe the back of the freezer has some asparagus or something). I should be nicely stocked up tomorrow night. :)
I did have a mad chocolate urge last night, so I took 3 bites of a Rocky Road protein bar to quell that. About 70 cals worth.
So, still here, fighting the fight, and fighting my own slowly gaining laxity. I ain't quitting.
I have been browsing some books on Amazon on hypothyroidism. Since I feel so much better on the tiny amount of Cytomel (T3) I've been on since June (and it has helped me with the crazy hunger and helped my mood, damn what the docs say), I want to research this further. Doctors here are very reticent about changing the standard "Give em Synthroid or Levoxyl" formula, and I always went along. But the more I read, the more I suspect that I'm one of those leptin-resistant, reverse T3 plagued people. I have fatty liver disease. I don't trust my liver to do what it needs to to convert things properly, just as I have insulin resistance and can't trust my cells to get what they need. My acanthosis nigricans has gotten BETTER with exercise and weight loss, and I hope my liver recovers with losing more weight. Until then, I just want the best regimen, most absorbable combo, I can get.
(I never had trouble keeping to a lower weight--ie, under 200-- before my immune system and thyroid went whack and it turned into 10+ pounds up a year.) It's worth looking into what else to do. If that means going on a search for an endocrinologist without a Synthroid only stick up their butt, then so be it.
I remember too well many times I made specific observations to a doc to have it dismissed, to find that 10 or 15 plus years later, studies came out that confirmed my particular observations. It made me think that doctors need to listen when patients who are informed and compliant make comments. I'm educated in the health sciences. I've had doctors think I was a doctor when I was going with my mother to her own visits (when she had a chronic, terminal illness). I read up on things. I want to be healthier.
So, when I'm dismissed and the status quo is all that matters, it makes me wonder if I have to wait 10 or more years for a study to confirm my observations, yet again.
Pisses me off.
Because I'm old enough to remember when they used to say "asthma is in your head, it's psychosomatic." Yeah, tell that to my fricken hyperreactive bronchii and my hyperreactive immune system, you close-minded MD jackass. :) My brother and I have totally different personalities (he's extroverted and naturally active and gregarious; I'm introverted, a depressive, and prefer books to parties). Both of us have bad asthma, and have had since infancy. We both respond to the same meds. In my head: Yeah, right. Look into the DNA instead, you pissers. (Oh, I think I remember, too, that PMS was all in "our heads." Right.)
I remember in the 80s, when I used to say, "Ya know, this may be weird, but I keep a calendar for when I have asthma flare-ups, and they occur more often right before my period." I was pooh-poohed. And guess what--I was not alone. I just kept a calendar with incidents of attacks and respiratory downgrading that showed me the pattern.
I remember when I went to more than half a dozen specialists to try and figure out why my asthma got so bad I was essentially a respiratory cripple for years, couldn't use a pillow or couldn't breathe, sat up to sleep often, and was just given the regular regimen. It didn't occur to them to listen to me saying, "Um, this feels different. I've had asthma since I was a baby. But I'm 30 now and this is different." Well, when they treated my thyroid, guess what, the breathing started to improve. I suspect, though this can't be confirmed now, that my thyroid was inflamed and blocking my breathing. This, I suspect, is why I could not use a pillow (the way it inclined my neck made the obstruction worse). No one thought to check my thyroid, no matter how often I said to all these specialists, "It feels...different."
I was in such a state of inflammation from my immune system attacking me, I was turned down for blood donation--and that clue didn't lead my docs anywhere. It was DISMISSED. (yeah, years of blood donating, and suddenly my antibody titers made me unsuitable???)
I was in such a state of autoimmune inflammation that pap smears were a painful, bloody mess.
TMI?
And the fact that I worked in the oncology/hematology ward, surrounded by harsh cleansers and all sorts of toxic meds...nobody stopped to think that my already, naturally hyperreactive immune system may have just overloaded like the mother or all short circuits working 1 year in that environment? Hmmm...
But yeah....never mind what the patient is observing. All those little flags that add up to....
Docs don't always clue in. And American docs seem dismissive of European and other foreign studies. Don't know why? I'd think Swedish, French, Danish, British, Japanese, etc other doctors also have brains and degrees of study that means they can figure out how to do research and test meds. Ya know?
I may need to keep a new calendar/chart on how weight loss and mood and changes in my regimens correlate. Cause it wasnt' until the doc asked last time that I stopped to examine my progress and realized that, yeah, I was more active, losing weight, feeling more chipper, and wanting to try new activities. Most since the addition of Cytomel....
I was pooh-poohed again. Well, okay, let the studies come already. I'm sick of the dismissive doc shit. :P
I'll keep plugging along. This is my body. I am listening to it in my own way, trying not to be too much of an impediment to it's message....
So, maybe mention the portion creep I noticed going on here this week. It's not like I feel totally bingey or hugely hungry (though I have slacked off on both water and in-between meals protein-shakes). I have actually let myself get to the point of hunger, which tends not to be a good thing in my case (though it may work fine in yours). When I get hungry, I get a bit frantic and that's when I set myself up for impulse take-outs/delivery orders. I've fought the pizza cravings and the Chinese food take-out cravings well so far...and it's not easy.
But it's 10x stronger when I let myself get hungry.
As a consequence of the laxity in water and hunger-stopgapping shakes, I've had bigger portions at lunch/dinner (still okay at breakfast). Not so much that I should gain--except for the salt bloat, and yes, I have dark circles under my eyes to prove I've overindulged in the white substance--not crack, but I guess my version of it. I love salt. I love it more than sugar.
I've had food delivery (pre-bought, low-cal) yesterday and today. It was from a Groupon set I bought a while back for SHAPELOVERS. I've used them in the past when I felt depressed or ill and didn't wanna cook. I do not feel depressed or ill, but I didn't wanna cook. :) So, I used one of my Groupons.
I've had their lower cal, turkey ham version of Spanish Tortilla for breakfast (yesterday, today) with Alpine Lace swiss cheese (one slice, 70 cals) on top for added calcium and yumsiness. I don't really care for turkey ham, but it was filling enough. I added a tomato yesterday. Today, mushrooms.
Today, I splurged on a whole tall can of Amy & Brian coconut water to fight the salt bloat, which is considerable today after having two cups of a super-saltilicious soup from the Lebanese place. It was lentils, chickpeas and a wee bit of beef in the broth, and very tasty, but the sodium tasted off the charts!
Lunch (late today) is gonna be kept under 500 cals, I just haven't decided yet whether it's gonna be the ShapeLovers Walnut Chicken (really tasty) or one of the WonderSlim entress with added veggies. The pick-up for my organic produce was delayed to tomorrow, so I have zip greens or veggies other than tomatoes, onions, and peppers in the house (and some frozen peas and maybe the back of the freezer has some asparagus or something). I should be nicely stocked up tomorrow night. :)
I did have a mad chocolate urge last night, so I took 3 bites of a Rocky Road protein bar to quell that. About 70 cals worth.
So, still here, fighting the fight, and fighting my own slowly gaining laxity. I ain't quitting.
I have been browsing some books on Amazon on hypothyroidism. Since I feel so much better on the tiny amount of Cytomel (T3) I've been on since June (and it has helped me with the crazy hunger and helped my mood, damn what the docs say), I want to research this further. Doctors here are very reticent about changing the standard "Give em Synthroid or Levoxyl" formula, and I always went along. But the more I read, the more I suspect that I'm one of those leptin-resistant, reverse T3 plagued people. I have fatty liver disease. I don't trust my liver to do what it needs to to convert things properly, just as I have insulin resistance and can't trust my cells to get what they need. My acanthosis nigricans has gotten BETTER with exercise and weight loss, and I hope my liver recovers with losing more weight. Until then, I just want the best regimen, most absorbable combo, I can get.
(I never had trouble keeping to a lower weight--ie, under 200-- before my immune system and thyroid went whack and it turned into 10+ pounds up a year.) It's worth looking into what else to do. If that means going on a search for an endocrinologist without a Synthroid only stick up their butt, then so be it.
I remember too well many times I made specific observations to a doc to have it dismissed, to find that 10 or 15 plus years later, studies came out that confirmed my particular observations. It made me think that doctors need to listen when patients who are informed and compliant make comments. I'm educated in the health sciences. I've had doctors think I was a doctor when I was going with my mother to her own visits (when she had a chronic, terminal illness). I read up on things. I want to be healthier.
So, when I'm dismissed and the status quo is all that matters, it makes me wonder if I have to wait 10 or more years for a study to confirm my observations, yet again.
Pisses me off.
Because I'm old enough to remember when they used to say "asthma is in your head, it's psychosomatic." Yeah, tell that to my fricken hyperreactive bronchii and my hyperreactive immune system, you close-minded MD jackass. :) My brother and I have totally different personalities (he's extroverted and naturally active and gregarious; I'm introverted, a depressive, and prefer books to parties). Both of us have bad asthma, and have had since infancy. We both respond to the same meds. In my head: Yeah, right. Look into the DNA instead, you pissers. (Oh, I think I remember, too, that PMS was all in "our heads." Right.)
I remember in the 80s, when I used to say, "Ya know, this may be weird, but I keep a calendar for when I have asthma flare-ups, and they occur more often right before my period." I was pooh-poohed. And guess what--I was not alone. I just kept a calendar with incidents of attacks and respiratory downgrading that showed me the pattern.
I remember when I went to more than half a dozen specialists to try and figure out why my asthma got so bad I was essentially a respiratory cripple for years, couldn't use a pillow or couldn't breathe, sat up to sleep often, and was just given the regular regimen. It didn't occur to them to listen to me saying, "Um, this feels different. I've had asthma since I was a baby. But I'm 30 now and this is different." Well, when they treated my thyroid, guess what, the breathing started to improve. I suspect, though this can't be confirmed now, that my thyroid was inflamed and blocking my breathing. This, I suspect, is why I could not use a pillow (the way it inclined my neck made the obstruction worse). No one thought to check my thyroid, no matter how often I said to all these specialists, "It feels...different."
I was in such a state of inflammation from my immune system attacking me, I was turned down for blood donation--and that clue didn't lead my docs anywhere. It was DISMISSED. (yeah, years of blood donating, and suddenly my antibody titers made me unsuitable???)
I was in such a state of autoimmune inflammation that pap smears were a painful, bloody mess.
TMI?
And the fact that I worked in the oncology/hematology ward, surrounded by harsh cleansers and all sorts of toxic meds...nobody stopped to think that my already, naturally hyperreactive immune system may have just overloaded like the mother or all short circuits working 1 year in that environment? Hmmm...
But yeah....never mind what the patient is observing. All those little flags that add up to....
Docs don't always clue in. And American docs seem dismissive of European and other foreign studies. Don't know why? I'd think Swedish, French, Danish, British, Japanese, etc other doctors also have brains and degrees of study that means they can figure out how to do research and test meds. Ya know?
I may need to keep a new calendar/chart on how weight loss and mood and changes in my regimens correlate. Cause it wasnt' until the doc asked last time that I stopped to examine my progress and realized that, yeah, I was more active, losing weight, feeling more chipper, and wanting to try new activities. Most since the addition of Cytomel....
I was pooh-poohed again. Well, okay, let the studies come already. I'm sick of the dismissive doc shit. :P
I'll keep plugging along. This is my body. I am listening to it in my own way, trying not to be too much of an impediment to it's message....
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