Weather/Walking; Male attention, both kinda interesting and sorta creepy; Blood glucose--first experimental testing; motivation to get in the 170s; dress for the challenge (provisional, as I still want red); and the bloat continues, thank you Greek omelette!...and, whoa, Katie J, I get "Your Computer May Be Harmed" when I try to See Your Blog Today.... today is last day I take requests for the CDC Challenge!

Okay, a few things, so I'll be all over the map. Kinda normal for me, anyway.

I'm hating the hurricane season weather messing with my walks. Being unusually sedentary this week (barring Tuesday's Pilates, and the scheduled session tomorrow) is making me a bit...droopy? I feel the difference in my body. I'm just not feeling as over-the-top energized. I felt great Tuesday after Pilates, and kept my workout clothes on to walk when the sun went lower, but the weather didn't let me. Sucks. I miss my walks. I wish hubby made it home in time to join me, cause I don't like the unusual uptick in male attention. It's kinda complimentary. It's also a little creepy. I mean, Starbucks, Publix, corner store, etc, I'm just having all sorts of guys, old and young, hot and not-so-hot start up conversations and look a little too interested.

I'm old and fat. What is it? My sweat give off sex pheromones or something lately?

Anyway, hubby keeps complimenting me and was expecially complimentary when I wore SHORT SHORTS (oh, yes, I did) to the family gathering for the holiday. I kiddie pooled it with the kids, and then we went to get some produce, me still in my Hard Rock cafe tee and super-short shorts. I was, like, um, honey, aren't these too short for the public? No, you're just too hot.

Well ,it's nice to be married to a guy still besotted with his droopy-skinned, saggy-cheeked wife. :) Love is nice.  Guy at the deli asked hubby how we met, how long together, and it was obvious we got along lovingly. :D Well, me grabbing him and hugging him and nuzzling his neck while waiting for our low sodium ham might have been a clue.

Blood glucose: Since my A1c improved, my prediabetes resolved, and I finally got into the 80s blood sugar wise, as of June, I got a monitor recently to test at home how some meals affect me. Used it for the first time today, my Bayer Contour. I also got an Accu-check to use later on and compare to see if there was consistency.

First off: hate pricking my finger. Had to say that I commisserate with diabetic folks who have to do this A LOT. It's not that bad, but I only did it three times. (First time, the strip didn't take, the next two were fine.)

I had coffee with sucralose and no food right after I got up. Was supposed to get dressed to take sis out to birthday lunch. She's sick. So, I was home and up and figured, hey, why not? I don't know if coffee/sucralose would have any effect, but decided to do it.

Pre-meal glucose: 81

I ate a meal that was carby for me, my usual eggs/veggie/fruit, but ate a fruit and nut bar with an additional 20 carbs and also increased my fat intake due to the macadamias. My total carb count for breakfast was 52. That's more than I like, but I am testing my reaction.

I waited an hour.

Post-meal glucose: 88

Now, I know Dr. Davis says we can't know our glucose curve for particular meals unless we test eery 15 minutes over at least 2 hours, maybe even 3. But to hell with that many finger-pricks!

Still, for a gal who was prediabetic, heading for Type II, and whose glucose got as high as 123 (at highest weight) and was staying in the high nineties for most of the time in recent years, that made me happy. A carby meal and I didn't go one-hour postprandial nuts.

The glucose experiment will continue. Not sure what kind of meal I want to test next, but I do want to do TYPICAL meals...stuff I normally eat at home, to see how I respond.

On the motivation front, a couple things:

1. My Vera Bradley "Versailles" tote and saddle bag arrived today.

I'd LOVE to use them right now, but these were to be my reward to breaking down the 180s barrier. I had gotten to 181...I am now 183.6. No, I did not binge. No, I'm not scarfing down wickednesses. I am undersleeping and eating a lot of salty stuff and I'm paying the price. Good thing the challenge starts Sunday, as that will make me wean off too much cheesy and olivey yumminess in salads and eggs and motivate me to get to bed EARLIER. I always mess up my losing mojo when I cut back on sleep. If I have to do stuff with family, I always have to get up way before my normal arising time. This week has had 3 days of undersleeping, and only 1 day of nice, full sleep. I cannot let this continue. Not health-promoting, not weight-loss promoting.

2. My dress for the challenge has been ordered.
I didn't find a red one yet, but I wanted something tangible here for motivation, so I ordered a black lace number that caught my eye. It had what I wanted: form-fitting, but not immodest; some sleeves, cause my hangy/crinkly upper arm skin is not festive; knee length or thereabouts; cut so I could wear a supportive bra or shapewear.

This one seemed good, a Marina black lace beaded number~~~

So, the bags are for when I cross 180 (and not just one day, but stay there for a spell to show a real loss). And the dress is in a smaller size (or two smaller sizes, as this designer, I hear, runs small) for the CHRISTMAS DRESS COUNTDOWN CHALLENGE, which kicks off Sunday. None too soon for this bloaty, sleep-deprived girl.

NOTE: If you were considering that challenge, today is the last day I take requests for it. We've got 30 folks on the roll, and that should be the kick-off number unless some decide not to do it between now and Sunday. So, just a heads up. The rules are on the challenge blog (see previous linky).

Hmm...I just touched my chin and now have sticky fingers. I put healing Manuka honey on my chin where a zit is healing. One zit. ONE. My face has been so good since I gave up wheat/gluten, and suddenly, I get one big one on the chin...after I eat Mexican beans (more than a week ago). I wonder if there is a connection? Anyway, off to wash off the honey from my fingers (not my chin, though, hah).

On a total other topic: Anyone else trying to visit Katie J Is On Her Way blog and getting a warning of "unsafe site"? I keep getting that, so I'm afraid to go there. Hope Katie sees this, cause I don't know if she knows, and I don't know what it means. If you have her email, maybe email her and let her know? THANKs.

I hope everyone is feeling good out there. For my fellow CDCC challengers, let's get the prep work done and be ready for that official FIRST post on 9/11/11, with all the stats and goals. And yes, that first weigh-in.

Blessings on everyone... be well....

The Challenges Are Gearing Up! Which One's For You? Primal, Dress Goal, Other? List your challenge in the comments for others to check out!

Hey, everyone.

The bloated one is here. :)  I'm back from Pilates--good!--and I'm 2 pounds bloated from the Labor Day feta cheese/olive/cheddar cheese/chorizo/salty soup array yesterday. Interestingly, didn't have a whole lotta calories. Didn't have any of the cake or any of the pasta. But I did nibble on the protein/salty stuff, and I feel it.  It's not gonna be helped much by the egg and avocado negiri I had for lunch (used coconut amino acids instead of regular soy sauce, but still...).

I'm allowing myself some salty indulgences this week--bloat be damned--because my Christmas Dress Countdown Challenge begins Sunday. If I'm gonna have bokchoy sauteed with pseudo-soy-sauce and toasted sesame oil, my beloved Greek salads (oh, you salty kalamata and feta), my few slices of Cantimpalo, then it better be NOW. Hah.

Anyway, the day after my challenge kicks off, Mark of Primal Blueprint fame sets out his Primal Challenge. It looks like a lot of fun for folks doing the primal way of eating and exercising. He lays out a very simple chart of what to eat/not eat and what to do exercise wise (general guidelines), and if that interests you (there will be prizes for those who compete in the challenge) head on over and read about it. He's got a 21-day transformation book coming out in October, so that will be right after his 30 day challenge is over, nearly. :)

I know there's another challenge starting up on the 18th, but I forgot the name and the leader. And I think Thursday's Child (from the StS challenge) has a holiday outfit challenge of her own in the planning.

ETA: Okay, remembered it was Thrice-Blessed's challenge that I was thinking about in the previous paragraph. Find the announcement HERE.

ETA: Yes, Thursday's Child is also hosting a Christmas Dress challenge--less strict than mine, too. So, for those who didn't wanna post their weight, maybe that one is good for you. See the challenge info HERE.
Please, if you are hosting a challenge or know of a good one for bloggers to use, post it in the comments--including, ideally, a link to the challenge host/info page. That way, folks can find one that will suit them as we head into that super-dangerous time of the year--The HOLIDAY FOODFEST MADNESS!!!

I made it unscathed through the holidays last year--and LOST weight--with the help of Allan's DDDY Challenge. I hope to do the same this year with my own CDCC.

Let's all make it sanely through the caloric nuttiness of the last part of 2011 and emerge slimmer and stronger on January 1, 2012, rocking some new outfit and, maybe, a whole new attitude for a whole new year of getting healthier and wiser!

Some Princess Dieter comments and links speaking on the Theories & Complex Factors on the Matter of Becoming Obese and Getting NOT Obese and a Quote ....on a lazy, bloated, wanna-nap day...

Scale is up from salt and added carbs these last 4 days--both of which cause water retention and scale stalls in me, historically. I knoweth of what I speak.

As much as I have enjoyed the added taters, sushi rice (with my veggie sushi), and brown rice (with my grilled chicken and veggies) this past week, and as much as my salt-hungering tongue loved the dips into soy sauce and shakes of the Celtic sea salt, and as much as my fruit-addict self loves summer's bounty of colorful sweet beauties, it's time to get back on program and stop being slackerish on my tracking.

No binges. No massive overages (though I have gone over calories twice this week). It's just me being hungry again from the carbs. I know it. I've doubled my fruit intake. While that may be a heathful food option, raw fruit, it's still too much in the sugars department for my metabolically not-normal body.

So, back to more veggies, fruit moderation (noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, weep, weep) and scaling back on tubers and rice. I won't ever eliminate them, but I got too loose with allowances. Once or twice a week, fine. But almost every day this week, even modest portions not so fine. For me, it's NOT just calories--it's insulin. It's appetite. I felt my appetite growing and my night-time snack urges return. I want them to go away again and regain the Zen Appetite. :D

Yesterday, I walked and did Pilates. 1 hour and 20 minutes of exercise. Felt good. I'm sore.

Lots of interesting discussions out there in LowCarb/Paleo/Primal blogs after the Ancestral Health Symposium (AHS).

I'd recommend this one first: There is no single cause of (or treatment for) obesity

And I recommend this one for the lucid and gracious third reaction  to the Taubes/Guyunet debate by Dr. Paul Jaminet.

For me, recognizing the food-reward research/findings set me on the road to loss. That was pivotal for me. Then Taubes anti-carb pronouncements helped me see my Insulin Resistant status needed a careful eye on starches/sugars. Dr. Jaminets (and others) on toxins/inflammatory foods helped me realize that as a person with a big family history of and personal affliction with auto-immune diseases, I need to consider THAT aspect as well. All three have served me.

But I agree with Healthy Skeptic--it's a very, very complex situation and it requires looking at the variables. Not all situations are equal, because not all bodies function the same.

However, caloric restriction works. We Challengers know it.

And yet, most dieters who lose regain. Or never make goal at all.

How can one keep on a restricted diet for life (if needed), if the appetite is insane or binges are an issue? Even bariatric surgical patients have issues with regain, so how could it not be for those lacking the assist of constricted stomachs or rejiggered intestines?

If wanting or wishing were both = to doing, no one would be fat.

And why don't all people lose at the same rate on the same calories? Not everyone maintains on the same calories, even if they are of the same height and weight. Not everyone is as healthy or energetic or satisfied with their meals or nourished on the same QUANTITY of calories. Bodies differ. Medical status differs. Types of food ingested differ. Fluids processed differ (ask a kidney disease patient about that one.) Carbs tolerance differs --ask an I.R. or diabetic person about that. Tolerances of foods differ--ask a celiac disease or I.B.S. sufferer about that. Fat metabolism differs--some of us absorb and fill up fat cells more efficiently. Some of us release fat from cells LESS efficiently. THere are genetic tests for that. Some folks swell up fast with salt. Some are barely bothered. Some are metabolically more efficient and their bodies ratchet up to burn excess calories. Some just make more fat and don't elevate temperature or activity naturally to compensate.

Variables.

Because I'm genetically a fat-hoarder (if I eat too high fat like some low-carbers, I'm screwed), and auto-immune (I can't have some things that don't seem to bother others), allergic (some food groups are totally out to me, limiting what I can eat), and a hyperconditioned overeater (I do respond to the food-reward combo of fat/starches-sugars/salt, so I have to restrict or avoid trigger hyperpalatable foods or I BINGE). I also have hypothyroidism and that affects metabolism and mood and makes losing weight harder. (Saw what happened to Linda Ronstadt when her thyroid went kaput?) I'm post-menopausal, so I need fewer calories than when younger. Age is also an impediment, though not a solid wall 100 feet high.

Impediments aren't insurmountable, they can just make it harder, make it slower, make it maybe necessary to get MORE professional help.

I'm a genetic, medical, neurotic mess. I need to read and study and work to get over the hurdles to lose weight. For me, every pound is a fight. I'm never gonna be the stellar "Lost 8 pounds a week" type. Oh, no. But I made it out of obesity and just wanna stay outta obesity, even if no one ever nicknames me "Slim." :) It's about health for me. Not Perfect Health (as that has always been beyond me, since birth), but better health.

I've said for nearly a year to assorted friends and relatives who ask that I've lost on both low-fat and lower-carb, but that for me, moderating carbs is an appetite suppressor in a way low-fat never was. But that both break the reward cycle and can help people with that. I still believe this. But I think every person should examine their individual situation and see how many of these variables discussed out there on bariatric matters--toxins, carbs, protein, fat, low fat, low carb, low toxin, hyperpalatability, food-reward, etc--and see which are the predominant factors in YOUR life. Depending you YOUR issues, you may need to tweak how you eat or see a counselor or dietitian or specialist in endocrinology. It's not one diet plan fits all.

I also do believe you must reduce caloric intake (as a nation, we freaking eat too much crap and some of us too much even of the good stuff). But I think that for those of us with crazy big appetites, it's worth looking at appetite suppressing properties in moderating carbs/starches/sugars.

Whatever your individual situation is--and you may be much healthier than me and not saddled with a plethora of genetic wackiness, or you may be WORSE off and feel hopeless--just know that you can learn a lot from the scientists and sociologists and psychologists out there working to see how to solve our problems. But it will come down, as transformations always do, to working your butt off and developing new habits It's hard. But it's not hopeless.

Here are a couple ofs quote from Dr. Jaminet--just two the many I read this afternoon among the blogs chattering after the AHS:

It seems to be easiest to induce obesity with a roughly equal mix of carbs and fat; both low-carb and low-fat diets tend to be less obesogenic. This result is compatible with Stephan’s views because carb and fat together are more rewarding than either alone, and with my views because carb-fat combinations can be highly toxic – for instance, a fructose-PUFA combination is more toxic than either alone; or carbs feed gut pathogens while fats carry their toxins into the body.


...

Due to the diversity of factors which conspire to cause obesity, it is a rather heterogeneous disease. Its unifying character is that some combination of causal factors induces “metabolic damage,” such as leptin resistance, in a variety of organs, including the brain. Metabolic damage can affect both appetite regulation and energy homeostasis.

~~Paul Jaminet, co-author of THE PERFECT HEALTH DIET

Sore. Relieved. Sad. Blessed. Grateful. Bloated. Sis Strategy. Sweet Potatoes?

Sore: MY MUSCLES HURT! My first Pilates training session since the family tragedy. It's been four weeks. I put my all into it. We did the whole body. And though I'm normally only feeling the soreness the night AFTER, I felt it as soon as I moved to get up. Ow. That's great, right?

I love feeling that feeling. Muscles: build away.

Relieved: My sister's pericardial effusion is resolving on the corticosteroid, and so no surgical intervention is planned for now. Her grief is huge and pressing on her, and her 70-year old body is trying hard to stand against it. But I'm relieved no surgery. Thank you, God.

Sad: Just one of those "I woke up missing the gone" days. Also, I've visited some blogs today, and some made me feel sad cause some folks are having hard times with the eating or their health. I know that story too well. I've never had perfect health and still envy those who do or know what that's like. I don't. I won't ever in this body. I gotta wait for the resurrection to have that inkling. If you want to share some of the sadness, read this post. Read it especially if you have blood sugar issues/are at risk for diabetes/are not working on losing the fat and getting healthy. Don't close the barn door too late. And please pray for Deb. She is in a time of seeking...and I wish her only the greatest wisdom and peace as she does.



Blessed:  Even with all the worries on my mind this summer, I can say I'm blessed in many ways and I choose to be grateful for the love and goodness God has allowed into my life. It's the only way to keep any perspective when times are hard--financially, emotionally, dietetically, medically, relationally, etc.

Can you walk? Blessed. Can you see? Blessed. Can you hear? Blessed. Do you have clean running water in your home? Blessed. Shoot, do you HAVE a home? Blessed. Is there healthful food in your home? Blessed. (And if you doubt it's an enormous blessing, think of East Africa's trials right now.  And give--I chose World Vision, as I've sponsored a couple kids in Africa through them for 13 years now.) Does someone love you? Blessed.Blessed. Are you mostly pain-free? Blessed. Can you think, imagine, dream, hope, strive with your own hands, work, sleep, and wake again to a new day of a life in a free land? Blessed.

Bloated: And I'm blessed even when the scale goes up cause of sodium bloat. I had gone about 20 hours without eating, and right in the middle of my walk,  I got hungry. Just got really hungry. I detoured to a local sushi place and in 5 minutes was back walking, with a small takeout bag in my hand. Incentive to walk FASTER to get home. Hah.

Aw, man, that avocado sushi and kappa roll with my first meal of the day were lovely, but the starch and soy sauce bloat, not so much. Glad I exercised hard yesterday--my 55 minute Pilates and 30 minute brisk walk. It was a starchy indulgence.

Sis Strategy: That's my sister's treat method--middle one, not eldest with the heart issue now. If she wants something "off plan", she makes herself walk to get it, eat it, walk back, and burn off the calories. So, if she wants pizza, instead of a bus or drive, she walks to the pizzeria, and figures out how much more exercise she needs to burn it off. Always has done that. And back in her younger days, she was down to a size 6 (old size 6, which is more like a 2 or 4 in today's sizing). And she only got up a bit in weight (she's in the 160s now) in her SIXTIES and with illness keeping her inside more in the heat. But she was always incredibly shapely, lean, and PAID for her treats with movement. I should have learned that system ages ago, huh?

The sushi place was about 15 minutes away, walking. :) I wonder how much I burned off of that rice?

Sweet Potatoes?  Our American kids raise funds for their schools selling candy or crap plastic "made in China" products that don't work or last. Japanese kiddes sell...sweet potatoes? Wow. That's interesting. And they're cute, too, in those yellow hat. Lookee here.  Looks like they even plant and grow those babies themselves. Hm. That in part may explain why their kids aren't ballooning to insane weights and early diabetes in as rapid a pace or rate as ours. I'm sick of seeing kids selling candy bars to raise money, or cookies, or cakes. How about they sell fresh fruit? A bag of no sugar/no salt trail mix? How about they sell baked sweet potatoes? Or have an herb harden they tend (exercise) and sell bundles of basil, dill, chives, oregano, cilantro, etc. :) Oh, right. People will spend it on crap, not fresh, real food, is that the obstacle? Sad. I've not bought Girl Scout cookies for years. I'd happily buy Girl Scout Herbs and Lettuces. :D

Today, count your blessings, pray for those struggling, support those you can, accept support if you need it, eat healthfully, move well, rest deeply, and say thank you for the simple and beautiful and needful and enlightening things in your life.

Be well...

Salt/Low-sleep uptick, which will be gone, soon, no worries. And some pics of pre-and-post Easter feast and a quickie fix for the too big t-shirt so you can use it a bit more, fasting workouts continue......on Day 77 of Phase 5

What a lovely Easter. The day was sunny, warm, and pretty. I wore a dress for the first time in...I honestly can't remember.

Today, Tanita-san shows a 1 lb uptick to 207.2. I know what this is. This is sodium and this is lack of sleep.

1 Sodium: I cook with no added salt EXCEPT on meats and chicken (I hate animal flesh sans salt. Ugh. Some, not a lot.) But Easter's brunch, we had ham and roast Cuban-style fresh ham (pernil, we call it). Both have salt. I also had an ounce of Manchego cheese. My contribution to the feast was a large organic vegetable tray and a large organic fruit tray. The veggies were numerous and I had plenty. The fruit was delicious, and it served as my dessert.

I had no fried stuff (alcapurrias).
I had no bread or crackers.
I had no corn pudding.
I had no sugary crap--candy or flan. (And I adore flan.)

I had 1 tablespoon of a no-sugar, low-carb custard my sister made for me. Very light and subtle. No sugar rush. I have the leftovers home to enjoy after supper for a couple days.

And two days of not-enough sleep. That always does things to scale/progress. But, I am back on undistracted track. I have an MD appt tomorrow, which does mess with my sleep schedule, but I'll try to get as much as possible. I also had my Pilates session today, and it was great. New stuff. Progress. Trainer happy with the less fat in ONE WEEK noticeable in my abdominals.

But...back to Easter Sunday:

After I ate and chatted and digested a bit, I changed into workout wear and played ball and Frisbee. :D  Not calling it exercise. Calling it PLAYING. And it was fun. Sweaty fun that made my heat rash worse. I slathered cream on it and kept going.

Here are pics of me before the feast and after the outfit change:

Colorful for Easter

Sporty for Easter

Activity is now my normal mindset. I try to add it to every day in some way. Even holidays. Plus, let's face it. If you have kids in your family, kids like to play/run/throw/jump/climb. If you bring out a ball/frisbee/net/shuttlecock/puck/stick/bat, they're gonna wanna do something with it WITH YOU. So, have lots of gear handy and have fun with them.


Okay, time to walk. Sun is low and my poor rashy arms get a break from strong direct sunlight. If like me you are getting smaller and not able to wear a lot of your stuff (another big bag of clothes got donated yesterday and I have oodles to go), here is a quickie solution for t-shirts:

1 knot, 1 too-big tee wearable

Yep. Just a knot to the side and it's kinda fun wearing it this way. Makes your butt look pretty decent, cause it's longer in the back, hugs it a bit, and makes it not a slouchy, frumpy mess.

And to close, this week continues the fasting workout experiment. I went in to Pilates on a coffee-n-water only tummy. No loss of energy. Last week, I took a pic of me drinking some iced black tea (made fresh, made dark for caffeine) before my fasting-walk:

Drinking tea pre fasting-workout

I have leftovers in the fridge for supper (shredded BBQ chicken with salad fixings and fruit) and a bunch of new workout clothes (DANSKIN NOW and Just My Size stuff from Walmart. Cheap and useful for when size changes rapidly. :) AND I got COLORS. Woooo.)

Yes, colors. I wore radical pink to Pilates with light grey shorts (not black on black).

Enjoy your evening, have a sound meal, if you didn't move today, take a nice walk or do something in front of the TV. Rest well....be well...

Salt setback and New Inflammation...The Distressing Disappearing-Boobs-Becoming-Socks And Hanging-Wrinkled-Laundry-Skin-Side-Effect of Weight Loss (NO Pics, hah)...The Soothing JMT...Detaching Food From Emotions...Lap Band Risks...and it's (maybe) Day 68 of Phase 5, but it's definitely EMANCIPATION DAY! Set yourself free!

Lotsa things today. First is the setback from salt. My lovely progress halted by an insanely salty soup from the Italian cafe. It was dinner last night. I added mushrooms and spinach and some ground beef to the minestrone, cause I did not feel like cooking. Had papaya with it for dessert.

Woke up at 211.8. Ouch.

I don't hit the salt as much as I used to, and I still have moments of backsliding. But, hey, soup was delish. Nice minestrone with very little pasta and a lot of veggies. Calories were fine yesterday. :) Did Pilates for an hour and walked for 30 mins.

The warmer weather and pollens have hit again. My arms, down to my fingers, are a red rash, as is my chest. My throat feels like someone has their hands around there and is choking me. I worry this might be an autoimmune flare-up. When I get that choking feeling, it tends to mean my thyroid is going through an active attack-it phase, which means harder to breathe, harder to bend neck, harder to swallow. I hate my crappy immune system, but just gotta deal until it subsides. I may do a complete exercise rest day and stay out of the sun and see how that goes....

So, the boobies...  I was naked last night after a shower and applying prescription steroid cream to my rash (would not sleep otherwise as the burning and itch was insane). I had tilted to the side and bent over and..what the hell is that on my chest? Oh, yeah, my boobs. They are starting to disappear (in terms of fullness) and elongate into tube socks of soft floopy skin. Oh, Joy! Yet another crap effect of having been morbidly obese and losing it. My bountiful, creamy, lovely-to-the-touch bosom pals--I used to enjoy cupping them all the time; yes, I liked the feel of my old boobies--are deflating alarmingly.

What ya gonna do? Get fat again? No way. I'll live with it. Went to hubby, who was already in bed, clapped his hand on one of my deflatees, and asked if it was awful. He said no way and kept grabbing.

Fine. If he doesn't have an issue, I should chill. He's the only one besides me and my docs who needs to see/grab em. If he's fine with the socks, then I can deal better. I'll keep moisturizing to keep them a nice plush and velvety brand of tube sockies. And I'll keep buying good bras.

The inner thighs are also distressing. And upper arms. They are even crinklier this week, methinks. Like shirts that were bunched up and not ironed. Ah, well. More lotion. I'll work on developing Crinkle Blindness: the inability to see the icky crinkles in deflated formerly really fat areas of the body.

Oh, a John Michael Talbot oldie just came on the radio (Christian station). I feel better. It's soothing...oooooh.....yes....I needed to hear this. Perspective. Destressing. Loooooveee...

For the Mighty God has done great things for me,
and His mercy will reach from age to age,
and holy, holy, holy is His Name.


All better now.

If you're a Christian and need relaxing music, and if you haven't discovered JMT (who has been around for a long time, both in secular music and then Christian), then here...go explore. I find him blissfully relaxing, and he's great for alone worship and meditation.

Next:
I visited a blog where the dieter has lost A LOT of weight and has worked to de-attach her eating from her emotions. I've seen others who've succeeded at weight loss do this. It doesn't mean that food doesn't taste good or give the eater pleasure. Eating IS pleasurable. It means food is fuel and we eat it to nourish ourselves, and we don't make food our partner, our comfort, our security blanket, our refuge, our reward, our stress management mechanism.

Every time you say, "I deserve to eat this cause I had a hard day", you are continuing to entrench eating as a reward or a comfort. For overeaters/the overweight/the obese, this is not a good strategy. When you give your kids food as a reward--"eat your broccoli and I'll reward you with a cookie"-- you may be setting them up to comfort and reward themselves with food in the future. Broccoli is nutritious food and fuel. Cookies are toxic food and fuel. If you're gonna tie emotions to something, tie it to broccoli or strawberries or spinach, for pete's sake. :) But better to just look at food as something that is nice to eat, but is mostly to make your body work to let you LIVE LIFE.

Food is to help you live your life. Food is not itself life.

The blog is called SUGARLESS DIET and on April 4, she wrote:

That's my no fun eating plan. Realistically, eating like I will be eating is boring. Simple, clean, processed as little as possible, with little variety. Boring. But you see, I have decided a long time ago, back when I was starting that for me eating can not be entertainment or consolation or reward or fun or anything that ties in emotions. If I want any of that I'll have to get it from other sources, like reading, travel, socializing or other non food related experiences. Food is fuel - no more, no less. I truly believe in that last sentence and it's only since I have stopped eating sugar that I have been able to come to the state of mind that accepts that concept.

She's dropped more than 100 pounds and her latest post has before/after pics. Inspiring. Congrats, Floriana.

Her eating plan is one I'm moving more and more towards. It's the one that seems to best 1. control cravings and 2. lessen appetite and 3. work well for my medical issues. It makes sense to me (especially for I.R./diabetic folks) and it clearly worked for her.

Next:
I researched bariatric surgery a few years ago (mostly 2008, 2009) when I was feeling hopeless about losing weight. I was losing very little, regaining a bit, losing a bit, maintaining a lot. I hung around in the 270s and hung and hung...  Lap band appealed to me more than gastric bypass. But the more I researched, the more disheartened I got at the possible complications, regain, etc. I figured if I was going to regain anyway or have some terrible complication, I might as well keep giving diet/exercise/mental change a shot.

I'm glad I didn't have lap band. I'm glad I came to believe I could do it. I want to keep doing it. I want to reach goal weight. It may have taken me a long time and it may take me longer, but this latest article I saw in Google News made me really glad I skipped the lap band. (As did having a friend of mine who had lap band some years ago convert to a gastric sleeve, cause she was having issues with the band and regaining a lot.)

Finally:


Happy Emancipation Day!

Freedom is never absolute, I suppose, but freedom is a great thing. To be able to choose your life partner. To be able to choose your career. To be able to choose your hobbies, where you live, what you eat.

Within Freedom comes duty and responsibility and ethics and morality (which puts limits on freedom for the greater good and one's own benefit). It's wonderful to live in a nation where we can make decisions about our life's course so widely. I was not born indentured or enslaved. I married the man of my free choice, not someone else's selection. I chose to study what I wanted in college, not what someone forced me to. I get to sleep at the hour I choose to and eat the dinner I want to make. This is amazing.

As an eater, I often misused that freedom. I made and bought and ate meals that damaged my body, which in turn limited my body's freedom to move. Impaired mobility from fat sucks. OMG, it is so much better, even still obese, to be able to get into all sorts of flexible positions--in Pilates, in bed, on the couch (sitting Indian style is a breeze these days), in the shower, in the car.

Too many liberties in one area--meaning not enough responsibility, duty, morality, discretion, moderation--takes liberty away from another area. You pay for imbalances.

Today, celebrate freedom. But do so by freely choosing to put limits on your freedom to eat any damn thing you want. Choose to eat the things that lead to MORE freedome (freedom to travel, freedom to try all those poses in the Happy Acrobatic Sex Manual, freedom to kayak or jog or fit in restaurant booths).  Put limits on eating  in order to have greater freedom in all other parts of life. Better freedom.

Choosing eat too much or too much crap enslaves you. It really does.

The unfortunates who lived lives of grave injustices and horrible misery under slavery in this great land of ours (to our national historical shame) did not have a choice. They ate what they were given, were bred like animals to whomever the  master chose, slept where the master decided (or didn't sleep as the master decided) and were provided with rags or clothes or chains or anything at someone else's decree. It's awful. Slavery is awful. And I thank God we got rid of that blight on our land.

But slavery can be self-imposed, too. We limit our creativity, ability, potential in all sorts of ways. And with us obese folks, food becomes a master and fat a shackle.

Choose EMANCIPATION FROM FAT today. Give yourself a proclamation decreeing yourself SET FREE and begin to live that way...free to choose to eat healthfully and in proper portions.

And be well...

Day 44 of Phase 5: Fighting the Hatsume Bloat, Pics--including me and my Baggier Clothes, Feeling Energetic and Joyful, And Recommending the Transformative Blog Series...because the Transformation Inside is Essential....

I refuse to get on the scale. I'm still bloated from the insane amounts of sodium I consumed at the Hatsume Festival and in my Turkish Salad when we ate out Sunday night.

Between the soy sauce, teriyaki sauce, and feta cheese, my kidneys are creaking and the bags under my eyes are undesirable. The heat rash is also not all that becoming, but it's the price I pay for extended exposure to the sunlight in warm weather. I got a horrible case last summer (required steroid shot and cream), but it was worth it for the loads of fun we had.

Making sure I get my fruit in for the potassium. Making sure I do no skimping on water. Making sure I move to keep the blood pumping and filtering. I don't want to screw up my weigh-in cause I'm a Bloatball.

Here are a few pics of the lovely Sunday out (first the Hatsume--meaning "First Bud" --Festival at the Morikami Japanese Gardens) then at the broadwalk on Hollywood Beach to see the Supermoon rise....

My Beloved with the koi pond and well-tended foliage

I had a tough time finding something suitable (and cool enough, as it was in the 80s) to wear. My bed was piled with stuff too baggy to be comfy or flattering. I wanted something floral to represent spring, and I was down to only 3 tops that still sorta fit. One had longer sleeves and was less cool, one was sleeveless and my batwings would have been horridly on display. I went with the one that had a kimono vibe and was slightly baggy, but doable. The new jeans were already too loose in the thighs (though the waist fit okay, which was important and my pants falling is NOT an option).

Here's a pic of my clothes NOT fitting me right (which also makes you look FATTER, in case you didn't know. Well-fitting clothes, snugger in spots, gives you shape. This makes me shapeless. Ugh. Behold:

Ill-fitting clothes, but hey, I'm still HAPPY! And I adore my red Lucky bag...

Lots of nice trees. I saw this beautiful green on one young tree and asked hubby to take a pic. A fresh green that meant "spring" to me:

The baggy top that makes my boobs look enormous and the fresh green leafy tree...

My Sweetie and the Orange Supermoon over the Atlantic

Me, the surf,  and the Supermoon around 10pm

That's me at 10pm. After getting 6 hours sleep and being on my feet since noon. Look at my face. I may be a bit tired, but I'm not dead with exhaustion. Not after walking for 5 hours at the Hatsume Festival, then walking 2.5 hours on the broadwalk. I can still go for more...

 I can assure you, that I would have pooped out long before this before last fall. I would have not been able to do half this much when I was 280 and 300 lbs. I simply did not have the energy and if I stood on my feet more than an hour, my feet and ankles would blow up like balloons. I would pass out.

Okay, so you see, I had a good time doing stuff I could not do morbidly obese. At least, not do as long or with as much joy and energy.


Getting lighter and fitter means we can have MORE fun. :) That matters, right?

Now, on to a recommended blog series: If you aren't familiar with REFUSE TO REGAIN blog and the book by that name, I recommend both. Very helpful. Very tip-savvy. I got the book (which is aimed at those MAINTAINING their weight losses) because I intend to become a maintainer (and to some extent, already am, cause I've been losing and not regaining for a while now). The insight in what it takes to MAINTAIN a loss is key to all "losers." Do yourself a favor. Follow the blog. Get the book. :)

The blog has begun a series by Dr. Barbara Berkeley on TRANSFORMATIVE PRINCIPLES and the first entry is up. READ IT HERE.


I totally believe it is about transforming inside, not just out. All my other efforts were so episodic and brief and inconsistent and lacking in inner change. But the last 4 years of weight loss blogging were this sort of fertile ground that gave me input, input, trial and error, input, and hope. And when it clicked and the transformation began inside for real, then I saw results outside.

It's a process for sure. But I feel different..and I don't mean energy levels, size, etc. I mean...how I see food, how I see the bigger picture of eating...I'm not cured of wanting to overeat and eat bad stuff...but I am so much more sane. No binge in more than 9 months. Who'd a thunk it?

Well, the landscape in my interior is like a garden that's finally coming into a green as fresh as the one in that pic above. It makes me happy.

Be well...eat well....move soundly...believe in change...believe....and keep fighting the fat!

Last Day of the Spawn of SoDDDY Challenge: Feel Like CRAP! But Tomorrow Starts Phase 4. OMG. I Am Such A Freaking Wuss! Reading Jackie Warner's Book for Motivation/Information, and so here's a Jackie Quote on GOALS, plus A WW Motivational Calendar (And You Don't need to be in WW to benefit), and the New Year is ON, People, and I've got GOALS! GOALS!!!!

I would strongly recommend you not eat salty foods two days in a row, even if you're eating at goal-level calories. Not just cause the scale hates it:

235.4

But also cause you'll feel like caca when you wake up after 4 hours sleep (for the record, due to my particular health issues, my normal sleep is 9 to 10 hours. If I get less than 7, I feel it. If I get less than 5, I am someone you'd rather not be around. Seriously. Urp. I actually feel queasy. Bleh.

What a difference from my energy and vim just a few days ago. Of course, some cleaning agents I used after getting up (sink needed strong cleanser and I did the mirrors and dishes) didn't help with the whole queasy.

This is the last day of Spawn. I'm planning to eat closer to my goal calories. I need to get some of my green smoothies and more fruit in to try and debloat from all that sodium I feasted upon for two days running.

I am scared of PHASE IV. I am a weenie and there it is. Face the fear! Hah! I need to think of myself as tough, a warrior, able. But when I think: "1200 calories and more exercise", something inside me starts knocking its knees and trembling all over.

I'll deal. Or you'll just have to help me deal with lots of "Just do it, dammit, woman" comments. :)

I sent my starting weight to Allan for Phase 4: 235
(rounded number per his request)

If you want to see just how serious I got in the latter half of this year, here are my New Year's Day Weights (rounded) for 2008-2011:

2008: 275
2009: 278
2010:  267
2011:  235

One of these New Year's is not like the others....right?

In 2007, it was in the 280's, though I don't have the exact number right now (can't find those old calendars).

I bought the Jackie Warner book and started reading it last night.

Her plan isn't specifically 1200 calories in the book, so I want to see the packet to know how to shop. I'm worried about what's excluded, cause I have a boatload of food in the house and don't want it to go to waste. I'm not talking about candy and stuff, but FOOD that I've eaten on my plan so far since June. We'll see..

.I'm assuming it's safe to buy veggies, fruits, and foods recommended in the book (oatmeal, eggs, beans, lean cuts of meat and poultry--as I can't eat seafood--Greek yogurt, low fat cheese). The plan in her book has 5 clean eating days and weekends with 2 treat meals of no more than 1500 calories with the other meals in the day "clean".

It actually looks like a nice plan, but definitely NOT a lot of food for those of us used to, say 1600 calories or so..or more. But the meal plans are simple (for those not keen on a lot of kitchen stuff). I'm enjoying the book--the parts I've read.

Next topic: Here are some goodies from OTHER bloggers:

Go visit a newly RESOLVED Ann and see how you can set up sensible, action-oriented goals like her.

Interestingly, this cool WW Motivational Calendar for January has today as a goal-setting day: http://www.freewebs.com/thewwchick/January%202011%20calendar.pdf   This is today's quote:

"Set a goal today. It doesn't have to be for an entire year, or a month, or even a week. Set a goal you can achieve."

Thanks, Heather, for the calendar month of motivation.

Here's a quote on goals--the subject of the day,huh?-- from the lady on the far left of the Phase IV Badge (go to http://almostgastricbypass.blogspot.com to see it, as I won't post it until tomorrow when the challenge starts):

Self-esteem comes from setting small daily goals and achieving them.
I like to set one large long-term goal and then several easy short term goals that are attainable.

When it comes to health and fitness, good short term goals are things like making to sure to drink three liters of water a day (burns 75-100 calories); eating one more vegetable and fruit a day (to speed up the metabolism); switching from processed foods to organic; and replacing factory farmed meats and dairy to free range and hormone free.

Most people I know don’t get up and exercise because they love to.
They do it because they know how good they’ll feel afterward.

It’s the same with setting those big goals.

Once you’ve hit them, you know it’s something that no one can ever take away from you.

 Read the rest of her quote at MIZFITONLINE in her entry titled "Jackie Warner Says...".

My weight goals:

~~I've set the goal to aim to follow the Phase 4 Challenge's 1200 calorie, healthful living /eating plan with the assigned exercise (I have no idea what the plan is yet, we don't have it. Freak-out to come.) 1200 calories a day. Ouch.

~~I will post my weight on the blog ONCE A WEEK, not daily. I think that may just be a tad silly for me. So, whatever day is the weigh-in for the Challenge, that's when I'll do it for the blog.

~~I will log my food intake on Sparkpeople.com daily (which I've pretty much done religiously since we started this series of challenges in October.

~~I will continue to ingrain daily the water/fluid habit.

~~I will do one motivating thing every day, be it read a motivating blog, book, article, or say a motivating affirmation, or sing a motivating song, or dance the dance of motivation, or write a poem that motivates me, or blog a motivating blog, or read a motivating Scripture, or ask a perfect stranger to holler something motivational at me. Whatever.  EVERY DAY. ONE MOTIVATING ACTION, MINIMUM.

~~MY BIG GOAL: I've set the goal to make this the year I get UNDER 200 lbs. This is a beyond-huge milestone for me, physically and psychologically. If I make it down to 185 (and Allan's expert-guided plan promises to do this if we are diligent and faithful), expect an all-out party here in Princess Land. Oh, yeah, baby. That's when I'd stop being OBESE.

~~I have other non-dieting/fitness goals, but don't need to share those here. The weight one is priority one, and the others secondary. Cause a healthier me will make the others MORE possible, period. If I can conquer the fat monster that has plagued me for decades, damn, I can conquer anything. That's my view. So, onto Giant Killing...

Link me up to your plan of action/goals. You blogged about em, yes?

Happy Sunday, people. Think: It's already the second day of a new year. How time flies, yes?

See you tomorrow.

Day 26 Son of DDDY Challenge: How do you see .8 lb up on the scale while eating 560 calories less than diet allotment? Well, let me tell you, so you don't freak when it happens to YOU....food/water log...

Tanita-san 241.4

My scale has been a rollercoaster due to my freaky sleep and salt habits this week. I have not gone over my goal-weight caloric level at all, and have had many less-than (by hundreds of calories days). For instance, yesterday: 1156 calories. One of my lowest eating days this year.

I had two meals. My first meal was tiny calorically. My second meal with huge (relatively speaking). But together, they were less than 1200 cals. I drank a lot of water, but given the super-salty nature of the food (divvying up my take-out Thai), I should have had extra water and more potassium rich foods/beverages.

I got lazy.

So, here is how you can make your scale go up without overeating:

1. Yes, eat a salty Asian or other restaurant meal
2. Don't eat potassium-rich foods (fruit, sweet potato, coconut water)
3. Don't get enough sleep (this one guarantees a scale upsy for me, always)
4. Don't up the fluid intake to flush the sodium
5. Don't eat enough fiber to move things along

Oh, yes. That last one is key. I had a lot of salt and little fiber and guess what my bowels did? Yes, they didn't. Exactly. My first morning with NO pooing in, um, months. I'm usually an "I'm awake, time to poop" kind of gal. No poop this am. Damn you, fiberless, sodium-riddled day!

Anyway, not sure if I should just send that to Allan or wait til tomorrow. We have a family thing tomorrow and, knowing me and my talent for "Cuban time" lack of punctuality, I'll be running around and forget to weigh-in or email. I may just send this weigh-in for SPAWN the THIRD.

Anyway, hope your scale was smiling upon you today. Be well...

FOOD LOG:

Breakfast:
WS hotcakes with sugar-free syrup and applesauce
1/2 cup Egg Beaters with 1 Slice 2% cheese and mushrooms
2 cups coffee
8 glasses water

Day 24 Son of DDDY Challenge: Most bloat gone, and really, just boring me today....but info on SPAWN Challenge is out now...

Scale: 241.2

Back to weight on Tuesday. As I've eaten at or under caloric level for challenge, I assume there's anothe 1/5th of a pound loss lurking there. :)

I am still wanting salty. I had a salty carby dinner last night, but yesterday came in UNDER 1600 cals and at almost 200 oz fluids.

Really, have not much to say. I posted already today on other topics, so I guess I'll just log my food. I do enjoy the cooler weather we're having and my curls are gonna be getting a protein treatment tomorrow so I can have perky sproings for the weekend. See...boring... :)

Oh, hang on, this is not boring: Allan posted some more info on the next challenge phase that starts on the 7th. Read it at his blog, and get the new (weird, hah) badge, but here's a snippet:

From you I need an email on Sunday with your blog name, your email address, your starting weight and your goal weight. From there I will compute everything and send you via email a packet with instructions. As of right now the packet is 20 pages long. The instructions are very simple, and the Challenge is for your benefit not to make you mental. We are working on the Christmas and New Year's Eve parts this weekend.

FOOD LOG:

BREAKFAST:

LUNCH:

DINNER:

Total Calories:
Total Fluids:

Day 17 Son of DDDY Challenge: The Asthma-Plagued Thanksgiving Edition and where drinking 40+ fewer ounces of water when eating high-sodium foods does actually take a 1/5th of a pound toll....food and water log....HAPPY THANKSGIVING! FELIZ DIA DE ACCION DE GRACIAS!

Scale: 243.4

I think it would have been a maintain or a loss had I drank the 200+ ounces of water. I had a very salty pre-bed snack (high fiber cheesy crackers, cheese along with the protein shake and apple for carbs). Without the usual evening barrage of water, I think it did bloat me a tiny bit. I felt it when I was lying in bed and touched my stomach/hips/torso as I always do before getting up to see if I "feel" less-of-me. Sometimes, I know a weigh-in is gonna be great cause I really do feel minimized in the belly/hips. Some days, I feel the actual bloat (you feel fewer bones, you feel squishier).

So, more proof for the benefits of La Agua.

I was not well enough to risk cat exposure at my brother's, so I asked hubby to take the dessert which was our menu contribution (two cakes for adults, one strawberry white chocolate, one carrot, and two chocolate cupcakes for the grandniece and grandnephew). Told him to feast, enjoy himself, hang with the guys and bring me back goodies. I was very clear on what to bring--turkey, very small bits of stuffing, gravy and cranberry relish (my family makes it, not the cans), and two sides I love--sweet potato casserole (my sister makes it lower fat than tradtional recipes, no marshmallows, spiked with amaretto) and green bean casserole (henceforward GBC, niece makes one regular recipe, one lower fat recipe). This year, sis made two versions of my most-beloved sweet potato casserole (henceforward SPC) : One her lower-fat version, one her lower fat with mango butter added (and by "butter" meaning a compote, not a fatty thing, for those unfamiliar with fruit butters). Mango is my fave fruit. Yay.

I served myself 5.3 oz of turkey, 1/2 cup stuffing (also reduced fat), 1/2 cup SPC, 1/2 cup lower cal GBC, 2 tbspp relish, 1 tbsp turkey gravy.

What I ended up eating: all the SPC, only the green beans plucked out of the GBC (about 1/8th of a cup total), 1.5 to 2 oz of the turkey breast, 1 tsp of the gravy, all the stuffing, 1 tbsp of the relish. I drank 4 glasses of water beforehand and it fille dme up fine. Had 2 cups of coffee and one small bite of the strawberry-white chocolate cake. Decided to finish my second cuppa with some lower-carb and high-fiber chocolate mint brownie bites by Chocolite (30 cals each).

Hubby finished my cake. I threw out the remainder of the stuffing and GBC. I refrigerated the SBC, cause I love the stuff and plan to enjoy it in small doses in the coming days. Yum.

Total calories for my Thanksgiving "Feast":   337 cals

I talked to my siblings on the phone, wished them well, then chatted with my middle sis for an hour after eating. Would have preferred being there, but I have fallen ill pretty regularly round Thanksgiving. Haven't missed one in about 4 or 5 years, but happens. Something blooms this time of year that sets off my immune response/allergies/asthma....


 Hope you all stayed on plan and enjoyed your family time to the max. Family rocks!


Food Log:

Breakfast:
2 organic eggs fried (PAM spray in nonstick pan)
2 toasted slices Ezekiel Bread, 1 slice 2% American Cheese single
1 cup fresh papaya with lime juice
2 cups coffee
8 glasses water (4 before, 4 after)

Thanksgiving Food Lunch:
As described above.
8 glasses water
2 cups coffee

Dinner: None

calories total so far: 756 (102c/22f/41p)
fluids so far: 160 oz

Face the Truth Friday (Also Day 4 of SofDDDY): Feel Great, Eating On Plan, but Up From Salty and Carby Choices and maybe Hormonal Blippiness...and Learning to Love the Agua! (Food Log included)

Scale: 248.6

Yep. It's UP.

No, I didn't binge. No, I'm not off plan.

In fact, I can say that I've never felt better eating THIS little food. I've stayed at around 1760 or under for almost 3 weeks (some days higher, some days lower, mostly very close). I've been drinking more water than EVER, and I mean EVER EVER EVER.

It's sodium and little-sleep, again. When those two get together, the scale goes up.

I have had weird salty food cravings, carb cravings, and an occasional chocolate craving this week. Were I not menopausal, I'd feel certain my period was due. I was even cranky with my near-perfect hubby (for about 15 seconds) yesterday. I've had a pretty even keel emotion-wise, so the PMS-like cravings and spots of irritability make me think I may have a little hormonal blip due to the recent weight losses (ie, release of hormones stored in adipose cells with the fat loss). Could be why I"m retaining water (not just the salt, natch), even though I took potassium supplements yesterday--and ate fruit and veggies! Well, could be. Dunno.

I figured I drank so dang much water, it would be insane to RETAIN water, but I did push it yesterday. One of my higher carb days (though still under 200 grams), what with the whole grain English Muffin, muesli roll, and kidney beans (one at each meal). Last night's cheese and jarred salsa, canned beans, and processed soy "meat" didn't help, salt-wise. But, right now, it's more important for me to stay in my calorie level. If that means that while the uber-salt cravings persist, I bloat; then so be it: I bloat.

Today, I was running from the alarm and barely remembered to weigh-in. Had my mammogram done (yay, my tatas tolerated it, one of the great thing about menopause--no more torturous, tear-inducing, thumping pain mammograms). I only got 2 glasses of water in before heading out (I refuse to want to pee myself on I-95). I drank 10 when I got home: 8 before "brunch" (missed breakfast as had to leave and was famished when I got home from lack of food and water); 2 after.

What Truth am I Facing:

The water helps. A lot. I'm not seeing the massive drop in poundage, but I'm FEELING better, just generally better. I'm even feeling thirsty in the AM, sometimes in the night, and that's weird, but interesting. My skin is slightly less dry and itchy--which I mostly noticed cause I couldn't do my immediate head to toe cream-on for my itchy-eczema-allergy-prone skin. I thought I'd look like an alligator without lotion (or deodorant for mammogram). No. My skin was soft and only mildly itchy around neck without the Eucerin.

Yes, I clearly NEEDED more water in my life. Truth!

The water helped alleviate a lot of the hunger, too, thank goodness, or I fear I would have really super-duper gone to town. I am truly starting to embrace the water thing.

Okay, so scale was up from whatever combo of factors--not from overeating, for sure!--but my mood, motivation, and enjoyment of my "eating at goal calories" is still present and accounted for.

I am still completely craving salty, and so I am trying to figure out how to indulge that (for now) without going carb happy or calorie-crazed.

But I know somewhere under the fluid retention, there is fat loss. Yep.

The boring details of the day:

First Thing AM:
2 glasses water
fluids: 16 oz

Late Breakfast:
2 cups mixed greens with 1/4 cup blue cheese crumbles and 1 tbsp Blue Cheese Dressing
1 rasher of bacon, 1 hard boiled egg, 1 tablespoon guacamole, 1 large tomato slice
1 ounce fried chicken tender, 1 ounce grilled chicken breast
(I know, weird, I didn't want chicken that much, but I wanted more protein, so I grabbed what was there).
Fiber and vitamin supplements
2 cups regular coffee (16 oz water)
10 glasses water (80 oz water)

Calories so far: 404
Fluids so far: 112 oz

SNACK:
BariWise Aloha Mango protein smoothie (made with 8 oz water) (90 cals)
more supplements (30 cals)
4 glasses water

Calories so far:  524
Fluids so far:  152 oz (exceeded "accelerated" level of intake)

LUNCH:
tofu and veggie stir fry
4 fresh rolls (vegetarian, steamed, chili sauce on the side)
1 cup fresh pineapple
1 WS dark chocolate protein pudding
supplements
4 glasses water
1 cup of decaf coffee with sucralose
( a pretty carby lunch even without rice! Carbiness and soy sauciness and I fear the scale tomorrow. Whoa. Got my veggies in. Yay.)

Calories for lunch: 820
Fluids at lunch: 40 oz

Calories so far: 1344
Fluids so far:  192 oz

SNACK:
a cup of decaf with sucralose
4 glasses water

calories so far: 1344
fluids so far: 224 oz

DINNER (really late snack, instead of proper meal)
1/2 WS pretzel bows
1/2 Kay's Naturals Vanilla protein cereal
cup of decaf with sucralose
1 slice 2% Kraft cheese
2 glasses water
assorted supplements


Total Calories:  1594 (c39/f37/p24)
Total Fluids:  248 oz

Day 3 Son of DDDY Challenge: Salt Uptick, Water Uptick, But Peeing Less!

Scale: 247.8

I had a lot of salt last night (the salt I put on my salad, lots of coarse on the tomatoes, and the WonderSlimTaco Cheese Puffs ). I was craving salt like man, which is one reason I skipped dressing on my salad and went with salt. Why use up fat calories when what I wanted was SALT!?

I should be 247.4 today. I'm 247.8 cause I salted up. And I didn't poo this AM. I normally poo w/in 5 minutes of being awake. I think the low roughage supper and saltiness and chocolate (first time I had real chocolate in a bit) conspired to plug me up a tad.

Now, my water and calories were great yesterday. Well under limit of calories and well over the accelerated level of water intake. So, I'm very proud of meself. :)

Interestingly, my bladder must have expanded or my body is acclimating. I wasn't running to pee every 20-25 mins. It was more like every 45-50. ; )

I have some nice produce after my co-op pick-up yesterday (though my most desired sugar seckel pears are not ripe, yet, darnit), so I should get my poop on well tomorrow. :D

On to the particulars:

BREAKFAST:
Starbucks reduced fat egg white/turkey bacon/cheese sandwich
1 fried egg (added to above)
1 cup papaya
8 glasses water
2 cups coffee
assorted supplements

calories: 532
fluids: 80 oz


LUNCH:
whole grain roll with 1 tsp peanut butter and 1 tsp fruit preserves
1 boiled eggs mashed with 1 tbsp lite mayo and dollop mustard with 1/2 cup cucumbers
1 oz Swiss Cheese and 1 pear
6 glasses water

calories: 470
fluids: 48 oz

DINNER:
2.5 ancho chilies with 1 cup cooked mushrooms and 1 tomato
1/2 cup shredded reduced fat cheddar and 1/4 cup sharp shredded cheddar
6 tbsp salsa and 1 serving WS vegetarian chili with beans
1/4 cup Eden Chili beans and 2/3 sliced Cubanelle pepper
1/3 cup chopped onions
WS Vanilla protein shake (made with 8 oz water)
6 glasses water

calories: 765
fluids: 56 oz

Total Calories:  1768 (+8 from limit)
Total Fluids:  184 oz  (exceeds accelerated amount)

Total Calories for Day:
Total Fluid for Day:

Waiting for Son of Double Dare

Okay, so we're all waiting to see what tomorrow's follow-up challenge requires of us. Yes, yes, lots, lots of water. But anything else? We'll see.

I saw an uptick on the scale. A simple combo of 1. salty lunch followed by very salty mini-dindin of protein pretzels with mustard with some cheese. 2. sleeping only 5 hours.

249.4

1.2 lbs of sodium bloat.

I didn't drink a lot of water at that time cause I didn't wanna be up whizzing when I wanted to be ZZZZzzzzzing.

Anyway, off to have breakfast and get ready for Pilates.

Happy Monday, folks!

Worried About Weigh-In....meh

Yeah, so I went over my calories by close to 500 cals. No excuse other than I was lazy and indulgent. And I haven't broken the salt addiction. I just seem to want really salty stuff this week. Olives. Pickled peppers. Cheddar cheese. Salty eggs. Salty miso.

I think the salt and overage in calories is gonna doom tomorrow's weigh-in.

Unlike times past when I would just skip a weigh-in that might be unfavorable, I'm getting on the scale, be the news bad, very bad, or horribly bad.

Accountability is part of the purpose of this goal-oriented bloggy journal and journey. If I do poorly, that needs documenting. It needs to be right here, goading me towards better planning and change.

So, stay tuned for tomorrow's scale-y result.

And I hope your week has been more disciplined and on-target than mine.

Happy Thursday, what's left of it. Off to enjoy the cutiepie on The Mentalist! A hottie can take one's mind off food. Yes?

I feel boring today; Portion creep; Salt Overload; Cytomel and my progress; Dismissive Doctors; Plugging Along...

I've been trying to figure out what the heck to blog about just to keep blogging. I feel really boring. I hate that.

So, maybe mention the portion creep I noticed going on here this week. It's not like I feel totally bingey or hugely hungry (though I have slacked off on both water and in-between meals protein-shakes). I have actually let myself get to the point of hunger, which tends not to be a good thing in my case (though it may work fine in yours). When I get hungry, I get a bit frantic and that's when I set myself up for impulse take-outs/delivery orders. I've fought the pizza cravings and the Chinese food take-out cravings well so far...and it's not easy.

  But it's 10x stronger when I let myself get hungry.

As a consequence of the laxity in water and hunger-stopgapping shakes, I've had bigger portions at lunch/dinner (still okay at breakfast). Not so much that I should gain--except for the salt bloat, and yes, I have dark circles under my eyes to prove I've overindulged in the white substance--not crack, but I guess my version of it. I love salt. I love it more than sugar.

I've had food delivery (pre-bought, low-cal) yesterday and today. It was from a Groupon set I bought a while back for SHAPELOVERS. I've used them in the past when I felt depressed or ill and didn't wanna cook. I do not feel depressed or ill, but I didn't wanna cook. :) So, I used one of my Groupons.

I've had their lower cal, turkey ham version of Spanish Tortilla for breakfast (yesterday, today) with Alpine Lace swiss cheese (one slice,  70 cals) on top for added calcium and yumsiness. I don't really care for turkey ham, but it was filling enough. I added a tomato yesterday. Today, mushrooms.

Today, I splurged on a whole tall can of Amy & Brian coconut water to fight the salt bloat, which is considerable today after having two cups of a super-saltilicious soup from the Lebanese place. It was lentils, chickpeas and a wee bit of beef in the broth, and very tasty, but the sodium tasted off the charts!

Lunch (late today) is gonna be kept under 500 cals, I just haven't decided yet whether it's gonna be the ShapeLovers Walnut Chicken (really tasty) or one of the WonderSlim entress with added veggies. The pick-up for my organic produce was delayed to tomorrow, so I have zip greens or veggies other than tomatoes, onions, and peppers in the house (and some frozen peas and maybe the back of the freezer has some asparagus or something).  I should be nicely stocked up tomorrow night. :)

I did have a mad chocolate urge last night, so I took 3 bites of a Rocky Road protein bar to quell that. About 70 cals worth.

So, still here, fighting the fight, and fighting my own slowly gaining laxity. I ain't quitting.

I have been browsing some books on Amazon on hypothyroidism. Since I feel so much better on the tiny amount of Cytomel (T3) I've been on since June (and it has helped me with the crazy hunger and helped my mood, damn what the docs say), I want to research this further. Doctors here are very reticent about changing the standard "Give em Synthroid or Levoxyl" formula, and I always went along. But the more I read, the more I suspect that I'm one of those leptin-resistant, reverse T3 plagued people. I have fatty liver disease. I don't trust my liver to do what it needs to to convert things properly,  just as I have insulin resistance and can't trust my cells to get what they need. My acanthosis nigricans has gotten BETTER with exercise and weight loss, and I hope my liver recovers with losing more weight. Until then, I just want the best regimen, most absorbable combo, I can get.

(I never had trouble keeping to a lower weight--ie, under 200-- before my immune system and thyroid went whack and it turned into 10+ pounds up a year.) It's worth looking into what else to do. If that means going on a search for an endocrinologist without a Synthroid only stick up their butt, then so be it.

I remember too well many times I made specific observations to a doc to have it dismissed, to find that 10 or 15 plus years later, studies came out that confirmed my particular observations. It made me think that doctors need to listen when patients who are informed and compliant make comments. I'm educated in the health sciences. I've had doctors think I was a doctor when I was going with my mother to her own visits (when she had a chronic, terminal illness). I read up on things. I want to be healthier.

So, when I'm dismissed and the status quo is all that matters, it makes me wonder if I have to wait 10 or more years for a study to confirm my observations, yet again.

Pisses me off.

Because I'm old enough to remember when they used to say "asthma is in your head, it's psychosomatic." Yeah, tell that to my fricken hyperreactive bronchii and my hyperreactive immune system, you close-minded MD jackass. :) My brother and I have totally different personalities (he's extroverted and naturally active and gregarious; I'm introverted, a depressive, and prefer books to parties). Both of us have bad asthma, and have had since infancy. We both respond to the same meds. In my head: Yeah, right. Look into the DNA instead, you pissers. (Oh, I think I remember, too, that PMS was all in "our heads." Right.)

I remember in the 80s, when I used to say, "Ya know, this may be weird, but I keep a calendar for when I have asthma flare-ups, and they occur more often right before my period." I was pooh-poohed.  And guess what--I was not alone. I just kept a calendar with incidents of attacks and respiratory downgrading that showed me the pattern.

I remember when I went to more than half a dozen specialists to try and figure out why my asthma got so bad I was essentially a respiratory cripple for years, couldn't use a pillow or couldn't breathe, sat up to sleep often, and was just given the regular regimen. It didn't occur to them to listen to me saying, "Um, this feels different. I've had asthma since I was a baby. But I'm 30 now and this is different." Well, when they treated my thyroid, guess what, the breathing started to improve. I suspect, though this can't be confirmed now, that my thyroid was inflamed and blocking my breathing. This, I suspect, is why I could not use a pillow (the way it inclined my neck made the obstruction worse). No one thought to check my thyroid, no matter how often I said to all these specialists, "It feels...different."

I was in such a state of inflammation from my immune system attacking me, I was turned down for blood donation--and that clue didn't lead my docs anywhere. It was DISMISSED. (yeah, years of blood donating, and suddenly my antibody titers made me unsuitable???)

I was in such a state of autoimmune inflammation that pap smears were a painful, bloody mess.



TMI?


And the fact that I worked in the oncology/hematology ward, surrounded by harsh cleansers and all sorts of toxic meds...nobody stopped to think that my already, naturally hyperreactive immune system may have just overloaded like the mother or all short circuits working 1 year in that environment? Hmmm...


But yeah....never mind what the patient is observing. All those little flags that add up to....

Docs don't always clue in. And American docs seem dismissive of European and other foreign studies. Don't know why? I'd think Swedish, French, Danish, British, Japanese, etc other doctors also have brains and degrees of study that means they can figure out how to do research and test meds. Ya know?

I may need to keep a new calendar/chart on how weight loss and mood and changes in my regimens correlate. Cause it wasnt' until the doc asked last time that I stopped to examine my progress and realized that, yeah, I was more active, losing weight, feeling more chipper, and wanting to try new activities. Most since the addition of Cytomel....

I was pooh-poohed again. Well, okay, let the studies come already. I'm sick of the dismissive doc shit. :P

I'll keep plugging along. This is my body. I am listening to it in my own way, trying not to be too much of an impediment to it's message....

A lot More Carbs on Saturday, A lot fewer clothes on Sunday...

700 days, 4 hours, and 92.6 pounds to go...

I ate decently, if not starkly so, on Saturday. But I did have carbs at both meals--corn tortillas with chicken breast and pico de gallo at lunch, a meal at home of high-fiber pasta and salad and veggies with lowfat ricotta and lowfat mozzarella- and the one snack--high protein cocoa with a ounce of cheddar and FiberGourmet 80 calorie pack of cheese crackers (12 grams of fiber). I had more than 30 grams of fiber yesterday (including fiber supplements, nearly 50), but the carbs are water-inflating on me,  so water weight is bound to ...rebound. :)

Nevertheless, I was parading naked today after I woke up. I mean, really, I can see the difference in my midsection. Man, I can see the difference even in my " lady region", and my hips. It's exciting. I didn't wanna put clothes on. hahahah

Hubby did not mind.

So, it's marinated grilled chicken for dinner from the Lebanese restaurant. I asked for no pita chips in the Fatoush salad, and I will measure out a minimal portion of rice (hubby will happily eat the leftover rice). The salt from restaurants is always an issue, but I"m way less concerned with bloat than with fat. As long as my calories are in line, I can deal with water-weight eventually. It's the fat that needs to go.  I also ordered some cucumber and yogurt salad and some hummus, which make for nice snacks over the next couple days (a small order of hummus stretches when used sparingly with cucumbers, carrots, and celery). And it's one of the few legume food items hubby will consume. So, hooray for hummus.

Nothing much exciting here this weekend. Hubby being home has been full of smooches and peacefulness (and nudist tendencies coming to the fore, apparently). I've gotten loads of rest and that feels great.

Tomorrow, Pilates. And I need to get back to reading my book on chage (SWITCH) and decuttering and planning my week's meals so I can shop in a targeted manner.

It's nice having a lazy weekend with hubby. I need to call sistahs now and check on 'em before we eat. Even with the stressful stuff still out there, I'm just praying and refusing to let evil bastards take my peace. For now.

May God strike down the evil bastards of the world, give us more peace, and make us all a bit kinder...and leaner. :D AMEN!

Happy Sunday, people. Make this a week full of health for you and your loved ones.

Oh, look, more reasons to drink coconut water--besides yummy taste and debloating

727 days to go...

Maybe not everyone loves the taste of coconut water (although I'd ask those people what brand they're drinking and if they've ever had it straight from the shell). I love the stuff. I tend to drink some nearly every day. It's the only fruit "juice" that I am drinking now that I'm doing lower carb--I refuse to give it up! (I do eat whole fruit, just stopped doing my daily glass of OJ or melon juice or apple juice or grape juice with breakfast.)

I drank it as a kid from the can (the sugary version that was so popular and to some extent still is). I went nuts for it on vacation to Puerto Rico when I was 9, where street vendors prepped the shell and stuck a straw in it for you. I liked it better than soda! Although I REALLY liked coconut soda (Coco Rico was the brand in my neighborhood, which I can't find sugar free anymore.)

As an adult newlywed, me and hubby would frequent and old guy who sold chilled coconut water from a refurbished old ice-cream truck. The stick-in-straw version. Yum. When that wasn't available, it was the canned stuff by locally available brands like Goya and Conchita.

As a middle-aged woman with hypertension, I discovered Zico in tetrapak and ONE and other brands. Zico went to crap (I no longer recommend it and have cases rotting here I refuse to drink). I now have enjoyed Nature Factor organic, ONE, Harvest Bay, and to a lesser extent the sourish VitaCoco. (My sisters used to also love the OLD version of Zico in the tetrapak, before the "change" with the brand.)  I suggest you buy several unsweetened versions in cans, tetrapaks, whatever, and see which suits your palate. If you like fresh and discreet flavor, try O.N.E. If you only do organic, try Nature Factor.

But if you like SWEET (and I do)....

...then try my latest addiction-- Amy and Brian pulp free or pulp-containing version in the TALL CANS (only the tall cans, never buy the smaller cans, the taste is NOT the same for some strange reason).  This brand has more carbs than the others (due to the selection of coconuts, not due to added sugar, and yes, I emailed and talked with the company peops to get info). But it's so delicious and sweet, I consider it a special Princess-worthy treat

If I could have the fresh from a chilled coconut daily for a reasonable price, I'd hit that.

But canned unsweetened coconut water is a very healthful drink (so long as you're not on medication or have kidney issues or other medical issues that would demand you avoid high-potassium foods).

Besides my addiction to the FLAVOR and my love of its debloating and blood pressure-reducing qualities, here's more info on why coconut water is a very, very interesting "sports" drink created by nature (well, nature's God in my view, heh) . :D

The Truth about Coconut Water

Off to have some....mmmmmmmm