FIGHT THE FAT REMOTIVATION PROJECT DAY 1: Working on the Mojo in "Self-Control Focus" Week...Activity #1 is 5-minute Meditation.... Activity #2 Scary Science Reading about why I need to get rid of this fat and just reminding myself that EXCESS FAT KILLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

For me, this is like a new day. I decided to get up and make this "FIGHT THE FAT  REMOTIVATION PROJECT" Day one in Princess Dieter Land.

Okay, so I'm trying to find that "sweet wind" again. Besides the "Activity #1" of meditation I mentioned yesterday in my vlog update, I'm planning this week to read the kinds of things that motivated me in 2010. The scary butt things. That's Activity #2 in the project. The fat-terror stuff. Things like Allan's rants about "Fat is cancer."

He was and is right. Fat is like cancer. It kills. We gotta get rid of it!!!

Fat is not this benign padding keeping us warm and making us feel cushy. It's been discovered that it acts like an endocrine organ. It releases cytokines that cause inflammation. And it's not just this awful belly/visceral fat (which I am of the body type that really likes to accumulate belly/torso fat, damn, stupid DNA of mine).  Even that FAT PADS ON YOUR KNEES do this!!!!

Extrapolate this. If the fat pads on your knees add pro-inflammatory chemicals to your system, what do you think 50 extra pounds around your middle do? 100? 200? It's a time bomb.

Fat cancer.

Excess fat is NOT your buddy, not my body. It is destroying us in this country. Look around when you go out. WE ARE A FAT COUNTRY!

We're scarfing down junk, living sedentary, and wallowing in our own cytokines...and paying the medical price.

Worry about not having insurance when you're obese? Oh, yeah, bet you do. I did. I do.

Fat hates us. It's not something to happily accept and let sit there. It's something to FIGHT. (As well as we can, and I don't mean you need to be twiggy or Kate Moss, cause, genetically, we ain't all blueprinted that way.)

I need to scare myself again. So, I looked for a read like those that got me going to begin with.

Like this article.

It reminds me why I can't go back to eating crap, EVER EVER EVER (and no, I have not had a sweet roll or donut, not in a long time, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't LOVE to, mind you). Here, a cardiologist traces the way a crap food like a donut raises inflammation and leads to heart disease.

But he also explains why BEING fat leads to inflammation and heart disease and other deadly and dreadful conditions. I ain't obese anymore (barely). But I am fat. Overweight. And this is what that does to me, says this heart surgeon who has operated on thousands and seen what a bad diet and being fat does to the arterial walls:

To make matters worse, the excess weight you are carrying from eating these foods creates overloaded fat cells that pour out large quantities of pro-inflammatory chemicals that add to the injury caused by having high blood sugar. The process that began with a sweet roll turns into a vicious cycle over time that creates heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes and finally, Alzheimer's disease, as the inflammatory process continues unabated.

People, the reason I got my mojo going on losing weight was cause I didn't want to DIE OBESE. I didn't want to have failed to conquer obesity and be on my deathbed with the huge regret of DYING OBESE. And the main acute motivator--the one that was right there in my face and terrifying me-- was that I had Metabolic Syndrome/Pre-diabetes and was well on my way to becoming a full-blown diabetic with all the horrible complications that cascade from THAT condition.

So, my blood sugar has been blessedly normal. My blood pressure pills got tossed last June.

But if I regain and go back to bad habits, I get all that crap again...and MORE. And WORSE, cause the clock stops for no one.

So, that was the first thing I read, after waking up, before breakfast. It's time to scare the bejeezus out of myself again to get my butt in gear and act together.

This fricken wall is coming down. I'm my own obstacle. I gotta get out of my dang way.

I'm gonna do my 5 minute meditation. I'm gonna ponder my arterial wall damage as I look at my big belly, that belly pouring out cytokines into my bloodsteam and screwing me up inside.

Okay, off to eat, move, do some chores, then pick-up my organic goodies. And I really need me some berries right now. Got a craving. :D At least, it's not for a donut.

If you want to REMOTIVATE right along with me, you folks in the doldrums of dieting or in the regaining conundrum or apathetic or backsliding, then join me. Just do the same stuff--the 5 minute meditation blocks to clear the mind and exercise the self-control "muscle", the scary reading (blogs, articles, books, whereever). Put up your own idea and let me know. Maybe I'll do it, too. The point is to do the things that got you going mentally, got you IN YOUR GAME. The point is to find the fire again. If you want to post your remotivation tricks and if they work, do so. Let me know. I'd like to read your efforts.

And for those undermining themselves, here's a word: Akrasia.

Fight the fat.

Be well...

Salt setback and New Inflammation...The Distressing Disappearing-Boobs-Becoming-Socks And Hanging-Wrinkled-Laundry-Skin-Side-Effect of Weight Loss (NO Pics, hah)...The Soothing JMT...Detaching Food From Emotions...Lap Band Risks...and it's (maybe) Day 68 of Phase 5, but it's definitely EMANCIPATION DAY! Set yourself free!

Lotsa things today. First is the setback from salt. My lovely progress halted by an insanely salty soup from the Italian cafe. It was dinner last night. I added mushrooms and spinach and some ground beef to the minestrone, cause I did not feel like cooking. Had papaya with it for dessert.

Woke up at 211.8. Ouch.

I don't hit the salt as much as I used to, and I still have moments of backsliding. But, hey, soup was delish. Nice minestrone with very little pasta and a lot of veggies. Calories were fine yesterday. :) Did Pilates for an hour and walked for 30 mins.

The warmer weather and pollens have hit again. My arms, down to my fingers, are a red rash, as is my chest. My throat feels like someone has their hands around there and is choking me. I worry this might be an autoimmune flare-up. When I get that choking feeling, it tends to mean my thyroid is going through an active attack-it phase, which means harder to breathe, harder to bend neck, harder to swallow. I hate my crappy immune system, but just gotta deal until it subsides. I may do a complete exercise rest day and stay out of the sun and see how that goes....

So, the boobies...  I was naked last night after a shower and applying prescription steroid cream to my rash (would not sleep otherwise as the burning and itch was insane). I had tilted to the side and bent over and..what the hell is that on my chest? Oh, yeah, my boobs. They are starting to disappear (in terms of fullness) and elongate into tube socks of soft floopy skin. Oh, Joy! Yet another crap effect of having been morbidly obese and losing it. My bountiful, creamy, lovely-to-the-touch bosom pals--I used to enjoy cupping them all the time; yes, I liked the feel of my old boobies--are deflating alarmingly.

What ya gonna do? Get fat again? No way. I'll live with it. Went to hubby, who was already in bed, clapped his hand on one of my deflatees, and asked if it was awful. He said no way and kept grabbing.

Fine. If he doesn't have an issue, I should chill. He's the only one besides me and my docs who needs to see/grab em. If he's fine with the socks, then I can deal better. I'll keep moisturizing to keep them a nice plush and velvety brand of tube sockies. And I'll keep buying good bras.

The inner thighs are also distressing. And upper arms. They are even crinklier this week, methinks. Like shirts that were bunched up and not ironed. Ah, well. More lotion. I'll work on developing Crinkle Blindness: the inability to see the icky crinkles in deflated formerly really fat areas of the body.

Oh, a John Michael Talbot oldie just came on the radio (Christian station). I feel better. It's soothing...oooooh.....yes....I needed to hear this. Perspective. Destressing. Loooooveee...

For the Mighty God has done great things for me,
and His mercy will reach from age to age,
and holy, holy, holy is His Name.


All better now.

If you're a Christian and need relaxing music, and if you haven't discovered JMT (who has been around for a long time, both in secular music and then Christian), then here...go explore. I find him blissfully relaxing, and he's great for alone worship and meditation.

Next:
I visited a blog where the dieter has lost A LOT of weight and has worked to de-attach her eating from her emotions. I've seen others who've succeeded at weight loss do this. It doesn't mean that food doesn't taste good or give the eater pleasure. Eating IS pleasurable. It means food is fuel and we eat it to nourish ourselves, and we don't make food our partner, our comfort, our security blanket, our refuge, our reward, our stress management mechanism.

Every time you say, "I deserve to eat this cause I had a hard day", you are continuing to entrench eating as a reward or a comfort. For overeaters/the overweight/the obese, this is not a good strategy. When you give your kids food as a reward--"eat your broccoli and I'll reward you with a cookie"-- you may be setting them up to comfort and reward themselves with food in the future. Broccoli is nutritious food and fuel. Cookies are toxic food and fuel. If you're gonna tie emotions to something, tie it to broccoli or strawberries or spinach, for pete's sake. :) But better to just look at food as something that is nice to eat, but is mostly to make your body work to let you LIVE LIFE.

Food is to help you live your life. Food is not itself life.

The blog is called SUGARLESS DIET and on April 4, she wrote:

That's my no fun eating plan. Realistically, eating like I will be eating is boring. Simple, clean, processed as little as possible, with little variety. Boring. But you see, I have decided a long time ago, back when I was starting that for me eating can not be entertainment or consolation or reward or fun or anything that ties in emotions. If I want any of that I'll have to get it from other sources, like reading, travel, socializing or other non food related experiences. Food is fuel - no more, no less. I truly believe in that last sentence and it's only since I have stopped eating sugar that I have been able to come to the state of mind that accepts that concept.

She's dropped more than 100 pounds and her latest post has before/after pics. Inspiring. Congrats, Floriana.

Her eating plan is one I'm moving more and more towards. It's the one that seems to best 1. control cravings and 2. lessen appetite and 3. work well for my medical issues. It makes sense to me (especially for I.R./diabetic folks) and it clearly worked for her.

Next:
I researched bariatric surgery a few years ago (mostly 2008, 2009) when I was feeling hopeless about losing weight. I was losing very little, regaining a bit, losing a bit, maintaining a lot. I hung around in the 270s and hung and hung...  Lap band appealed to me more than gastric bypass. But the more I researched, the more disheartened I got at the possible complications, regain, etc. I figured if I was going to regain anyway or have some terrible complication, I might as well keep giving diet/exercise/mental change a shot.

I'm glad I didn't have lap band. I'm glad I came to believe I could do it. I want to keep doing it. I want to reach goal weight. It may have taken me a long time and it may take me longer, but this latest article I saw in Google News made me really glad I skipped the lap band. (As did having a friend of mine who had lap band some years ago convert to a gastric sleeve, cause she was having issues with the band and regaining a lot.)

Finally:


Happy Emancipation Day!

Freedom is never absolute, I suppose, but freedom is a great thing. To be able to choose your life partner. To be able to choose your career. To be able to choose your hobbies, where you live, what you eat.

Within Freedom comes duty and responsibility and ethics and morality (which puts limits on freedom for the greater good and one's own benefit). It's wonderful to live in a nation where we can make decisions about our life's course so widely. I was not born indentured or enslaved. I married the man of my free choice, not someone else's selection. I chose to study what I wanted in college, not what someone forced me to. I get to sleep at the hour I choose to and eat the dinner I want to make. This is amazing.

As an eater, I often misused that freedom. I made and bought and ate meals that damaged my body, which in turn limited my body's freedom to move. Impaired mobility from fat sucks. OMG, it is so much better, even still obese, to be able to get into all sorts of flexible positions--in Pilates, in bed, on the couch (sitting Indian style is a breeze these days), in the shower, in the car.

Too many liberties in one area--meaning not enough responsibility, duty, morality, discretion, moderation--takes liberty away from another area. You pay for imbalances.

Today, celebrate freedom. But do so by freely choosing to put limits on your freedom to eat any damn thing you want. Choose to eat the things that lead to MORE freedome (freedom to travel, freedom to try all those poses in the Happy Acrobatic Sex Manual, freedom to kayak or jog or fit in restaurant booths).  Put limits on eating  in order to have greater freedom in all other parts of life. Better freedom.

Choosing eat too much or too much crap enslaves you. It really does.

The unfortunates who lived lives of grave injustices and horrible misery under slavery in this great land of ours (to our national historical shame) did not have a choice. They ate what they were given, were bred like animals to whomever the  master chose, slept where the master decided (or didn't sleep as the master decided) and were provided with rags or clothes or chains or anything at someone else's decree. It's awful. Slavery is awful. And I thank God we got rid of that blight on our land.

But slavery can be self-imposed, too. We limit our creativity, ability, potential in all sorts of ways. And with us obese folks, food becomes a master and fat a shackle.

Choose EMANCIPATION FROM FAT today. Give yourself a proclamation decreeing yourself SET FREE and begin to live that way...free to choose to eat healthfully and in proper portions.

And be well...