I'm Too Old For Nasty...Really: A bit of a vent-rant..Let Love Rule, even amongst fatfighters...the fatfighting lessons in the holy days...and my Eve2Easter #13 Update

I had to remove a blog from my blogroll. I understand criticism. I understand tough love. I understand wanting to motivate. I understand wanting to offer reality slaps. I always appreciate the folks whose motive is my and our good. Our progress.

But mean and nasty and sneering superiority, that I don't need. Really, I don't. Isn't there enough of that ruining the world? That's not what this planet is in short supply of.

Sometimes, lines are crossed. I have a very long tether for this type of thing. I grew up in a tough and violent neighborhood, but was also brought up devoutly religious.So, I had to endure and do a lot of cheek-turning, and some days I had to use a knife to defend myself. It was a fine line to try to walk. Tough.

I am bi-cultural. So, I had to learn to walk that fine line. Being 'Not American" enough for some, "No Cuban" enough for others.

I try to give the benefit of the doubt. I've learned to love people who hurt me and I initially despised ...just natural, instinctual hate. I learned through prayer and empathy to really like and love some hard cases.

So, it's not like I just have no patience or endurance with that. I do try to see beyond the anger and toughness and gauge if what's at the root is a good thing. A caring thing.

I know I've typed stuff in comments that had no ill intent, then I looked back at the black and white words and thought: Hm, that came across wrong. That looks harsher than I intended. It just has the wrong tone in toneless e-words. So, I assume this happens to others--in blog posts, comments, email. We just use the wrong phraseology or type too fast and don't see how it can be misunderstood.

Hence, the long line, the full intent not to assume the worst. Words can sometimes be halting in the internet; misconstrued; phrased poorly; missing the elements of good will the writer intends; hobbled by lack of vocal tone or facial expression.

Tough love vs. abuse. Which is it?

I do try to give the benefit of the doubt and lean to believe in  the former, not the latter.

But sometimes, I come to decide, "Oh, this is just nasty, down to the ground and nothing in its soul is edifying." It's not pretty to come to this conclusion. It hurts. I want to believe in the "better angel".

This happened today. I read a blog post and thought, "Wow. That's just a vomitus of  mean-spiritedness and profanity with no redeeming explanation at its core or goodwill in its heart." (Or for lapbanders out there, a productive burp composed of reeking black bile.)

It wasn't aimed at me, I will clarify, but at another blogger in the fat-fighting realm; though, one day, it may easily be me being ridiculed. Who knows? People who look for targets surely find them. We are legion out here baring our imperfections in this quest for healing.

Really, there's enough pain and ugliness in the world. I'd rather not add more to it or allow any more than absolutely necessary into my life. Can't always avoid it.

So, sometimes, I gotta unlink from folks who continue to spew just unproductive, finger-pointing, ugly, ugly, ugly stuff. That kind of party is not where I wanna fest it up in these last years/decades of my life. My Lord would heartily disapprove of it, too. And really, with Holy Week coming up, I don't want to hang where Jesus would say, "This is not a place where love or honor dwells."

And then I add. "For now."

Why? Because I believe in the power of epiphanies. Of people realizing they're causing awfulness and deciding to stop, to modify, to gentle their attitudes.

I do believe in honesty and tough love, real tough love, not the fake one, not the ravening, salivating wolf in tough love clothing,  that just wants to eat you up and laugh about it for fun. Not the tough love that shows up without a shred of respect, love, compassion, mercy, or understanding for the weaker lambs in the big, big fold in blogdom. To those fake "tough lovers", all the weaker ones are...are prey. All the tough talk ends up being internet snark....it's just cruelty. Without redeeming value.

Is this something you want in your bloggy experience?

I don't.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 This is the next to last update. I've had a hard time for months for various reasons, some out of my control and some not. But we're still in here, fighting it. Learning. And, hopefully making progress. Next week, final pic and update. So...here's the penultimate one:

Tanita-san: 179.6.                 

Waist: 34.75  in

Last week:
182.2
35 in

Like the fourth straight day mildly down? Fifth? I forget.  Just so happy not to see the rising numbers like before. Yep.

Still sticking to one starch a day and 1500 calories (mostly).  Did two strengthening exercises and three cardio, so fell short by one cardio. Been using affirmations and lots of positive thinking to combat the stressful situation this week , and so stay out of FOOD. :D Fluids have been fine. Support of some challengers (way more than minimum).

Super-stressful situation continues, but I am not caving. Lots of praying. Taking extra C. And trying to get adequate sleep to keep the immune system hummng.

Yeah, baby. I'm chasing serenity. :D

Very little reading in my book, as I've been doing the online reading of studies

Love abounds in my household, and I like peace in my mind. I want both to abound here. If I fall short, forgive me. When I need a good kick in the pants, kick me with kindness. I always appreciate it. :D

Happy day before Palm Sunday.

If one thing is learned by this week to folks of my particular faith, is that after the worst, comes the best. You suffer, then you are reborn. You go through the bad, but a better day is coming. So, for others going through stress or trials, the better day is coming. Just keep the hope and do what is right and wise--in food, in movement, in mental attitude, in acts of kindness and support. Just keep doing what is needful and proper...and wait with good expectations. :D

Passover will soon be here for our Jewish friends, and that is also a time to remember how much good can come out of a bad place, how greatly miraculous things can happen after  a time of suffering. Out of slavery, enriched, full of song, and on the way to a better land.
 
Whatever the trial is this week, keep your eyes open for the way out, the miracle, the power, the mentor, the wise counsel.... the better land. The new life. You may have to walk like the dickens to get there...or "die" in some metaphorical fashion...but it's  there...look and see. Believe and have it.

Let's move forward. Let's be supportive on this long and difficult journey. Let's be well...

"The ability to discipline yourself to delay gratification in the short term in order to enjoy greater rewards in the long term is the indispensable prerequisite for success." 

~~Maxwell Maltz

" For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

~~Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

BMI, average US Woman's stats, another milestone number to aim for, and "Hi" to all my future co-challengers in the next weight loss bloggy event for moi--Christmas Dress Countdown Challenge!

Tanita-san: 182.4

I loved seeing another half-pound down. I want to be in the 170s so badly. Another milestone will be hitting 172. For two reasons. It's the last weight at which I remember feeling truly sexy and good and flexible and well. Before the big illness hit and made me an invalid at 30, with miserable years thereafter soaked in black goo of depression and doctor visits, etc.

172 . I remember doing aerobics in my white shorts and white tank and feeling young and strong. 172. Milestone number in my brain. I wanna hit it.

Out of curiosity, I put 182 lbs (me now) and "172 lbs" (future me) in the BMI calculator to see what percentile that would put me in.

182 = 58th percentile
172 = 50th percentile (smack in the middle)

I then entered my goal weight to see where that would put me:

160 = 38th percentile (a much better place to be on that curve)

(I did hubby's stats on the calculator,  too, the man who's leaned out like mad on our lacto-primal-ish eating, and he's in the 11th percentile. Go, long and lean prince o' mine!)

I found this from the CDC about the average American woman's measurements:

Women:
Height (inches):   63.8
Weight (pounds):  164.7
Waist circumference (inches):   37.0

Nice to have a below average waist, when I'm above average in height (by 2 measly inches, though).  Not nice to see the average US woman is overweight. Unless she's an athlete, full of heavy bones and muscle, 5'4" and 165 lbs is hardly lean.

I make myself this promise: I will get BELOW average weight. Yeah, baby!

 Hello to the gals joining me in the Christmas Dress Countdown Challenge (henceforth, CDCC). As I mentioned in the comments section of in the rules post over at the CDCC blog, having a dress or outfit serves another purpose.

Ever have that week--those weeks--when the scale won't move but the body changes some, so you FIT BETTER in your clothes? Well, having a dress/outfit/coat/grass skirt/etc that you use for motivation is also having a tool to get you through the stalls. Cause if you are exercising, your body can still improve when the scale stalls. A dress can fit a little more even when the number stays the same on your home scale.

This is why it's a good tool. Visual. Tactile. And...a non-scale measure. Worth the investment. Motivation for less than 100 bucks. You can't get a life coach for that.

If you aren't already in a challenge and want some motivation-mojo to get through (most) of the year, go read the rules (see previous link for challenge blog) and see if it's the kind of challenge you CAN do and WILL do and are ready to do.

The blogroll on the right sidebar of the challenge blog is the roster of ladies already IN the ready-to-self-challenge for 14 weeks come September 11. View it here.

My Official Goals Post for SLIMMER THIS SUMMER Challenge

The challenge begins tomorrow, June 6th. Today, I have my measurements and goals post from which I will track my progress. I have a swollen eye (nearly shut, allergies and irritation from a combo of things, so hope the post doesn't look lopsided, heh).

My goals:

Lose 18 pounds minimum. I'll take any lagniappe.

Exercise 5 days a week, two with strength training. Try at least two new ways to exercise this summer other than Pilates and walking (my mainstays).

I want to be able to do 4 regular push-ups by challenge-end. I've never, ever, ever, even when young and slim and active, been able to do regular push-ups. It's one of the banes of my exercise life. :O It's partly a combo of very weak and fragile wrists (sheesh), week upper body strength,  and holding a lot of my weight in the upper body (just look at my swimsuit pics for proof). So, I'm gonna work on that all summer. One day, I'd like to be a push-ups GODDESS like Yum Yucky

Drink 14 glasses of fluid minimum. More on high exercise days.

Stay within 1200 to 1400 calorie. Know I'm calorically correct by tracking my food on Sparkpeople or a notebook or an email or whatever. But track everything ingested and tally calories.

Get my waist at or under 35 inches. I have no idea if this is doable with just 18 pounds, as I'm an appley girl and my waist/belly fat is the most stubborn; but I have my eye on it. Might as well set it down as a goal.

Pray daily for the success of the Slimmer this Summer Challengers.

Encourage some challengers daily. ( I can't encourage you all daily, sorry, too many of you!)

Here are the things the StS Challenge requires of all of us involved. That means me:

**Track food and water. 
**Keep calories around 1200-1400 a day/10K or less per week. 
**Stay hydrated.
**Weigh in weekly.
**Stick to your exercise goals. 
**DO NOT QUIT.
**Keep blogging.
**Encourage others.

If you can't do these things, this challenge isn't for you.

If you can, go here to read about it and, if you wish, join up. This begins tomorrow, so you have time. You'll need to make your official goals post TODAY.

If you're in the challenge and haven't done your goal post. TODAY IS THE DAY, People! Do it! Make your list of goals, then yabber on about anything else you want, get going. Post it!

Okay, so my starting measurements:

Waist: 37 in

Weight: 195.0 lbs

Yeah, that's higher than yesterday pre-restaurant. I always bloat from rest food and its saltiness. Small bloat, though. :)

Since we were supposed to take a pic anyway for end of Phase 5, here it is as my START photo for StS:

I got on twice and got the same number, so there it is. Starting weight.

I wonder how much a Canon digital camera weighs? ; )

A new challenge begins. And though I'm bug-bite and heat-rash itchy, swollen-eyed, and restaurant wee-bloated, I'm ready to tackle the last 35 pounds to goal weight.

Die, fat, die!!!

And for those who feel daunted by the prospect of having to lose a whole lotta poundage, you aren't alone. We're all struggling and fighting the fight. We can make it. And we can make it with joy!

Well, I certainly want to do it with joy. And I have help-- you supporters/fellow challengers, my kind bloggy readers/commenters, hubby, family...and Him. Definitely not alone in the journey.

Here is one of my fave Twila Paris tunes, bluegrassy and fun and, yes, joyful. I'm gonna go sing it now to get myself going. EnJOY: Joy of the Lord by Twila Paris~~

The joy of the Lord

will be my strength.

I will not falter;

I will not faint...

Be well...and full of joy..

Day 61 (maybe) of Phase 5: Plateau bit the big one for sure, Waist Gets Closer to Dr. OzLand Boundary, and The One Where I Gush Obnoxiously About Great Love of My Life (again) Especially for Food Freak

Tanita-san is most beneficent today: 213.2

As of right now, I can report a 2 lbs loss to the Challenge Fearless Leader. I don't have to send it until noon Sunday, so I need to stay far away from salt shakers and deli meats until I weigh in officially, cause I don't wanna mess with the BOOOOFUL numeros! (And if anyone is sure of what today's day it is on Phase 5, let me know. I may be off.)

Da plateau has, for now, done died.

Breathing is still slowly improving. I think the rains Tuesday must have cleaned the air some. Been easier on walks,  much less gasping. :)

I knew I had lost more. When I woke up and did my daily morning post-wake-up ritual of inspecting my totally nude bod in a full length mirror, my waist did looked "less than". I got the tape measure, and yes. I got to record a lower waist number. Hallelujah! Closer and closer to the magic 35 inch boundary that Dr. Oz always yaps about. :D

I posted early on when I began this second weight loss blog that I had two main reasons why I wanted to lose weight, get fit, get healthier. I figured I'd link up to that old post after a comment by Food Freak on my previous blog entry:

I really is romantic that he ran to join you in your walk. He's a good man--quite romantic. He must love you a whole lot, which is completely understandable. You seem to be a loving woman. That's important. And you're passionate, too. Ah, a good couple. How long have you guys been married? How long were you together before getting married? This is very personal so tell me to shut up, okay?

My family would guffaw at the idea that I wouldn't want to yammer on and on at length about the merits and wonderfulness of my husband and how crazy-mad in love I still am with him after 29 years. He is...the best. People have actually told me I get all glowy when I talk about him. Well, I guess that's understandable. He's this pure, beautiful, unspoiled, devoted, patient, funny, smart, adorable, sexy, tender, gentle, sweet, talented, creative, fully loyal and unselfish glowing star in my life's firmament.

I am so nuts about him it's probably off the charts lunacy.

And yes, we're a romantic couple. My family has more than once told us to cut it off with the googly eyes and smooching. PDA's have been toned down, but they persist. :)

We met June 1982. Twenty-four days later, we exchanged "I love yous". Married June 1983. And I still feel like I'm a giddy young bride when I'm with him. I'm still his Princess. He's still my Prince. And even after all these years, it's really tough not to jump his bones every time I see him. His smile makes my day, my week, my life.

He has loved me slim and he has loved me morbidly obese, and he has not once thrown my fat in my face (like I've seen some hubbies do, shamefully), or insist I get on a diet. He simply has been sturdily, steadfastly supportive of my goals and wishes, no matter what they've been. He walks with me now and eats more veggies now (and he's not a veggie lover), because it is better for me and for us.

It's the most stress-free relationship of my life. Waiters occasionally ask us if we're newlyweds. :) We rarely quarrel, and when we do, it's over very fast, because it's too distressing for both of us to be at odds, so we end up both apologizing within 15 minutes and smooching up. When I got ill and had to quit working in 1990, he was my nurse and patient lover through the depressions and trials and multiple medical trips, etc. When my parents were dying, he was my rock and a calming presence even for my parents. One of the reasons my mom could die in peace was that she knew her kids--including me--were in very good spousal hands. She loved my husband like her own son and one of my most poignant memories is her feebly, blindly, trying to raise her arms to hug him on the last night of her life.

So, yeah. I want a long and healthy life with him...and a long and happy eternity, too, if God allows. :D I wanna be by his side even in the Kingdom. I'm that greedy.

I am grateful to him for not holding it against me that I let my body get so bad, let myself fall into binge eating. To him, I've always been beautiful, and even my deflating body with the weird crinkly skin and pannus, to him, it's desirable. Every day, his eyes look at me like I'm the #1 wonder of the world. I suspect I have the same look in my eyes when I see him. Well, do I?

Charles loves Mir; Mir loves Charles

Yes, I do like looking at THAT face! See!?

How do I find enough hours in the day to thank God for this gift:

I can't. I'll just have to borrow time from Eternity to do so...

Um, does this answer your questions, Food Freak? :D

Day 48 of Phase 5: A small loss, and holding off Challenge Weigh-in to tomorrow in hopes of showing some rounded loss! Heh. Plus planning for famiy party...AND MY 3-MEASUREMENTS ARE IMPROVING!

Tanita-san: 215.6

Nice to get past the block. 216 was my weigh-in for the challenge last Saturday. I've been in the 217+ since Hastume's sodium blast. I had hoped for 214 by today, but well, reality can suck. I've been good Mon through today...very good. :)  But it's moving down again and I'm happy.

I have to be up earlier than normal tomorrow to be ready for the party. My sister is a choco-freak, so I got a compromise gift--chocolate dipped strawberries (along with some other small nice things). I figure she can get her choco fix with healthful fruit attached. Heh. Ordered from Edible Arrangements, so I hope they're tasty. Strawberries have been sweet of late, so hope so.

I am still pondering what to take. I'm thinking something salady and something fruity. Will call sisters to make sure I'm not redundant, then shop in the evening. I'll buy low fat turkey gravy, too, cause I usually do bring my own in case the homemade one is too greasy or just not made at all. Happens. I like turkey with some sauce. Or I'll take some Mrs. Dash to perk it up. Plain turkey breast doesn't do it for me. Needs something--gravy or herbs...something....

Hubby has to work on his book today, so no fun outings. Unless we get revved up for it in the evening. I have some contest entries to judge, so I can busy myself with that while he works. Then do my exercise and maybe a protein/condish treatment so hair is purdy tomorrow. :)

I'm excited about getting to wear new stuff that FITS tomorrow. Yeah!

And I'm excited about improvements in my measurements. Saw on another fatfighting blog today that the blogger posted the Big 3 Measures (bust, waist, hips).  When I was young (teens, twenties), before obesity, I was a perfect hourglass. Not a slim perfect, but perfect meaning bust and hips were equal and waist was 10 inches less.  Like when in old films they'd say she was "36-26-36". I used to be, say, 40-30-40 or 42-32-42. Then I got obese, got insulin resistance, and became much more appley, with the waist measure losing it's "10" separation.

Today, I was 48-39-48.5. My waist had been out of synch--8 or8.5 inches less than hips. Now it's 9.5. Close. Yes, I'm getting closer to being my "old" proportions again. I'm hoping by the time the Phase 5 is over, I will be back to the B-minus 10 waist-H again. Maybe 46-36-46. I can dream. :)

I'm turning hourglassy again. Hurray!

(Note: I use a Myotape measure, and have for over a couple years, and don't know how accurate it is, but I do use it consistently, so whatever drop in size is at least consistent.)



What's your measurement now? How does the proportion compare to when you weren't obese? Where do you want it to be come June?

I wish you guys all a healthy, happy weekend that makes you feel vibrantly alive and happy to have been created for today!

Day 7 of P4: Weigh-in, Saturday Particulars, Challenge Challenges, "Christmas" for My Family (Part II, the 2011 Edition) , and Whose Book I'm Gonna Start Reading This Week!

Saturday particulars:

Calories: 1199 (that's hilarious, when numbers end up like that. ONE calorie away from a round number. Snarf.)
Water: yep
Walk: yep

~~

Today's weight: 234.6
Last Sunday's weigh-in: 235.4

Last Sunday's weight as emailed to Allan (rounded): 235
This week's weight as emailed to Allan (rounded): 235

 Calories Mon thru Sat:   1216, 1019, 1205, 1205  ,1277, 1199
The average caloric intake: 1187

And the loss showing on my scale is:  0.8 lbs.

Waist and hips, the same. Upper thigh a scosh less there.... and the bust.

:::eyes rolling:::

Anyway....enough with that....

Today will be my family's "Christmas". Hubby wrapped the gifties.

I plan to take bottles of water and my own food/snack. I hope to do something a bit active.

I heard from someone who dropped outta the challenge, and I understand her medical/other reasons. Hey, it's very limited. We were warned, but I guess I thought limitation would be on crap, not, say, normal protein sources. In any case, it's what it is and we do it or we don't. No one is breaking our arms to force us, right? If we need to--or want to--do another plan, as long as we get healthy, no harm no foul. It's about eating a desirable amount and healthful foods...and things we can enjoy, too, to some extent. (I mean, okay, no enjoying a double fudge sundae). And it's about eating less so we can lose. I support challengers and non-challengers, as long as y'all are trying to get healthy and lose the fat, people, I'll blow my own wee bit of encouraging wind to your back!

Keeping motivation up matters, so this week, I'll be reading EATING LESS by Gillian Riley. Here's the gal herself:





I find her voice calming. :)

I've only read the first few pages where she talks about "myths" and it's really good.Just those couple of pages would have nabbed me in a bookstore.

So, what are you reading to keep your mojo going?

Happy Sunday, people. Another week toward the goal. Blessing upon you!

Day 10 Spawn of SoDDDY Challenge: Yes, yet another drop, and noted BMI is below 39 now... food/fluid log

Tanita -san: 238.0

I weigh three or four times and take the number that comes up the most (say 2 out of three). Today it was 238.0, 237.8, 238.0. So, feels good. Almost another half-pound down. Last week's mess up has been more than made up for. This is what I weighed in 1998. The dieter's Time Machine. :)

This puts my waist at 41.25 or 41.5 inches, depending on the measuring tape. My BMI is 38.4. It's so sweet not to see FORTIES in the BMI anymore. Next measuring milestone goals will be:

1. Out of the 40's in waist size
2. Out of the 230's in scale measure
3. A normal size 20 in Women's clothing

The next Super-Milestone would be reaching 216: no longer severely obese, just regular obese. Hey, it IS a mental biggie for me. And a health biggie.

I not only have issues with my loose rings. I have issues with my LOOSE SHOES (as I posted about before.) I hate the idea of buying shoes to not have them fit 35 pounds, 40 pounds from now, since they're pricey. So, I'm gonna get ring guards and find a way to make the shoes I have fit better for a while. My shoes run about 100 bucks a pair, some more, some less, but since I have problem feet, I buy shoes with cushy insoles and made from foot comfort (SoftWalk, Easy Spirit, Naturalizer, Clarks...). But my sandals are swimming on my feet (not that I'm wearing them in this weather.  I've succumbed to sneakers more often just cause they're easy to fill out with puffy socks. :D

Yesterday's calorie count topped at 1298.  Again, I MEANT to eat at goal-level, but I just wasn't hungry for a big meal, so dinner was some crockpot made oatmeal with blueberries, peaches, and cinnamon. Felt very warm and comforting.  Then I was having a crazy pizza craving, so I took 2 string cheese and put 2 tbsp of marinara sauce on top wit sprinklings of oregano and garlic powder, nuked it until it was warm and gooey and ate that. Gave me the pizza vibe without the pizza calories.

Ratio of calories:  45c/31f/24p

I figure I'll just do this for now--eat at maximum goal-level on hungry days and eat less on less-hungry days, instead of just trying to hit ONE number. If nothing less, having the lesser days will leave room for a bit more feasting when we dine out, if I desire it.

Less cold today, though last night was still a chilly one for me. If it's the shivering making for the losses, then bring on the cold fronts.

Happy Thursday, make it healthy!

Food Log:

Breakfast:
3/4 cup egg whites made into an omelette with: 1 cup broccoli slaw, 1/2 cup cooked mushrooms, 1/4 cup chopped onions, 1 slice 2% American and 1/4 cup 2% shredded Cheddar, using 1 tsp of ICBINB spread to smear on the pan.
1/2 multigrain bagel w/ 1 tbsp organic Neufchatel and 2 tsp St Dalfour Four Fruits spread
1/3 cup red grapefruit sections
2 cups coffee
6 glasses water
calories: 524
fluids: 64 oz

Lunch:
Dinner:

Total Calories:
Total  Fluids:

Face the Truth Friday/Day 25 Son of DDDY Challenge: Getting really close to next "decade" and hips give up another 1/2 inch, craving potatoes and that hunger thing...plus food and water log

240.6 on Tanita-san's happy face...

Yesterday was 241.2, so that's 3/5ths of a pound. I figured once I released water it would look better. I did eat salty stuff yesterday, but I drank two glasses of coconut water, and that always helps. I used to drink it daily, but due to the calories and carbs, I had cut back. I may re-incorporate, especially when I hit the salty soups (I had a Dr. McDougall spring onion with rice noodles soup yesterday, vegan, low cal, high salt.)

It's 1.4 pounds lost since last Friday. This seems to be consistent with my caloric intake. I'm not a mega-loser. I've had several days well under the "maintenance" level and no days over. It's a rate I'm okay with. Allan would glare at me, but there it is. I had initiated this blog expecting a 1 lb per week loss. 1 and a half (almost) exceeds original goal. Continuing at such a rate would get me to goal sooner than 2 years. But I gave myself two years. If I make it in 1.5 or, shoot, 1, I'd be thrilled.

TRUTH I AM FACING: Measured waist and hips. Waist doesn't wanna cooperate. Hips down 1/2 inch. Old New Flash: I'm still an apple.  (Note: I have no idea if my tape measure is accurate. I have three of them and they all give a different number. So, I just use the one I've used the longest, cause that's really weird.) No matter how slim I get, I'm always gonna carry in the middle. I suspect if I ever got really thin--not gonna happen, but theorizing--I'd be like a spider. Roundy torso and hair-thin appendages. Not a pretty image.

I had a craving for potatoes yesterday. I don't get these potato-cravings often, and I had rarely eaten potatoes this year due to having done lower-carb, but man, it was hours of my mouth wanting potatoes so I caved. I had some organic potatoes from the co-op last week that I hadn't touched, so I scrubbed and boiled me up a bunch. Hubby had his with butter and turkey and carrots.. I had mine with EVOO and spinach and mushrooms with eggs for protein. Very, very satisfying. Very delicious. Just what I wanted.

TRUTH I AM FACING: I did notice I was hungrier--like 2 hours--afterwards. So that glycemic index thing, yeah, I guess it operates on me and my insulin resistant body. They tasted great but did send me into hunger zone pretty fast. I won't cross potatoes or noodles or any carb right out of my diet, but I can't have potatoes daily if they make me this peckish afterwards. I really wanted to stuff my face.

I kept my calories just under 1400, but man, I felt hungry yesterday. Drank loads of water and coconut water and coffee and soup (for more fluids).

Lovely weather in Miami. It's cool. Yay, it's cool. No sweating when one goes outside. One can wear a sweater. Hurray!

Food Log:

BREAKFAST:

4 Vietnamese rolls with chili sauce and almost 1 tbsp of peanut butter (I like to smear the roll pieces with PB, mmmmmmm)
3 skewers of Satay Chicken with 2 teaspoons of peanut sauce (I love the stuff but it's killer calorically)
2.5 cups coffee
8 glasses of water (4 before, 4 after)

LUNCH:
Pad Thai and 2 cups Watermelon chunks
2 cups decaf
8 glasses water
supplements

No Dinner, No snacks

Total Calories: 1117
Total Fluids: 164 oz

Just Checked My Fat% and BMI with the OMRON Fat Loss Monitor

I bought an OMRON Fat Loss Monitor 6 months into my weight loss blogging (November of 2007). I haven't used it much, but I did record two times I used it. There seems to be some inaccuracy (maybe just I used it wrong), but I'll post what it gave me:

July 23, 2008--
276.4 lbs:  BMI 44.5

Nov 16, 2009--
267.2 lbs: BMI 44.5

Oct 20, 2010--
252.2 lbs: BMI 40.8

Last time I checked, it gave me a fat % of 48.3.

Today, it showed a fat % of 46.0.

Well, progress. :)

I guess I can put the gizmo away until next year. Heh.

A Good Day, a Happy Scale, New Waist Measure, and Seeking More of this Calm...

703 days and 10 hours to go...

I feel so good this morning. I ate great yesterday. Kept it UNDER 1000 calories for the first time in...er...er...okay, prolly haven't eaten this little since the day after they took out my appendix in 2002.

I don't do restriction well.

It was unintentional. I had INTENDED to eat up to at least 1500. That was the plan: a low eating day for me. I normally allow up to 1800, and tend to swerve up to 2000 when lazy, but still watching what I eat.

But I had done so much grappling, praying, calming work, that I went positively Zen, methinks. I was just in the nice zone of sweet tranquility.

And the tranquility moved right into my eating.

Hubby will return in the wee hours of Friday (so happy, so happy), so I will aim for a calm eating day today, so he and I can have a lunch or dinner out tomorrow (still restrained, of course) without the agitation of having bad days behind me.

The bigger breakfast strategy has helped, too. It helps me contain lunch.

As a result of that good, but unusually low calorie day for me, the scale is again smiling at me. Yesterday and today's peeks prophesy a good Friday weigh-in (ie back on track).

And not just the scale is cheery. My tape measure got taken out and used today. Waist and Hips.

I had pretty much given up on the tape measure, since my hips and waist have been resistant, especially waist, for the last couple years. I've lost in the boobs (my emptying bra cups are proof). I've lost in the upper arms and thighs. I've lost a bit in the hips. But the waist was stubbornly refusing to budge from 44.5 . For the last couple years, it just wouldn't change. Yes, I take steroids. Yes, I have insulin resistance. Yes, I'm naturally apple-ish. Yes, my adrenals have been happier.

But dang, how could I lose 35 pounds since I started blogging and my waist moves only 3.5 inches????

Well, after I woke up, I looked in the mirror and dang if my middle didn't look a scosh smaller. My imagination?

Nope. The tape lieth not. My hips took another dip. But MOST IMPORTANTLY, my resistant waist has nipped in, too. It's at 43.75 inches. Hips are at 53.5.

Finally. I guess lower carb IS beneficial for budging the resistant abdominal fat.

Now, whether the measure I use is accurate, dunno. It's a MyoTape measure, not the regular just old measuring tape. But it's the one I've used for several years, so at least I know that it went DOWN, even if the tape is not perfect. :)

Getting my waist under the 35 inches Doc Oz recommends is one of those goals on my plate. So, progress. Measurable progress. The INTJ in me likes that.

Okay, so I'm off to make something to eat. Gonna ask my emotions what they want, gonna use my mind to limit my emotions, gonna use my spirit to be thankful and attuned to the greater Power.

Well, okay, I just want to stay nice and calm. I like feeling the peace, baby!

Happy and Healthy--and Tranquil-- Thursday to y'all!