Sunday, March 4, 2012

E2E Challenge Update #9: Working on not getting frustrated, for real, and focusing on the joy of "the now" and the DRESSES. (with pics)

Tanita-san: 180.2
Waist: 34.75

Last Sunday:
Tanita-san: 181.4
Waist: 35

This should be happy for me, cause it's 1.2 less than the last update. But I'm just passing down old territory where I've passed up and down, and up and down, for months. It's not virgin territory until 177.2. That's the number that says, "Oh, we're moving again."

I was lower in the week (as my Vlogs attest) so it's particularly frustrating.

Fluids: fine
Exercise: completed strengthening goals. Fell short on cardio goals.
Mood: improved. Sleep, too.
Support: I exceeded the minimum. :) I've kept in bloggy contact with my challenge buddy, too.
Dress: Not time to try again.
Book: Only been reading WILLPOWER INSTINCT from the ones I'm doing for challenge. At this point, I need to engage my brain to break through this maintenance thing I have going that my body is loving. I keep the faith that normalizing my thyroid will be the thing to change up this game...but I know in the meantime, I have to not get so frustrated I do stupid food things. And I have been known to do stupid food things if I start to lose heart. So, no heart-losing.

Sometimes, you just have to be happy at your progress and not obsess over future progress. I've come to realize this. That enjoying THIS part of the journey is not a sin. Being here is not bad. Yes, I want to be in a lower number. Very much so. But not so much that I have that burning for it, like when I was over 200 or even just over the "obese" line, and had this mighty impetus to get off high blood pressure pills, not get diabetes, improve mobility (which being obese, mobility stucks), and saving what was left of my lower extremity joints from the abuse of such weight....

Now, it's about improving health MORE and that bit of the vanity that wants to look slimmer, though, at my age, a "hot dish" is not something I can be. But I do find a huge satisfaction in wearing dresses again (which for a nearly a couple decades had been a no-go).

I think if there is ONE thing that will help me maintain my loss, other than those health issues that were my main driving force to's how happy I feel wearing dresses again. You have NO idea how ridiculously giddy I get putting on a dress and working the girly mojo. I used to mostly exclusively wear skirts and dresses back in the day...and when i worked. But since I'm an apple/avocado type, when I got big, dresses made me feel like one big weird huge ball of fabric. And with my ankles getting huge, I didn't like my legs sticking out of skirts or dresses. So, I defaulted to pants. STRETCH PANTS, as fat apple types have a hard time with jeans/zippered pants.

But looking nice again in dresses is PRICELESS. I didn't even envision this as being one of the more satisfying parts of this journey, although I did focus on the idea of being able to cross my legs (that was a great day when I could).

But there it is: The joy of the dress.

And here's the dress I wore to that post resort dinner last Sunday:

I love wrap dresses, but I need a contrast
color to define the waist better. I actually LOOKED
slimmer than in the pic, believe it or not.

Legs look good, right? Though this
posture is dorky.

Exercise made my legs (aside from the awful sagging skin on the thighs) look shapelier and good, so dresses...bring them on! I have ankles again and from the knee down, my legs rock.

Anyway, focus on what is good NOW about what you've done for yourself when the times when losing is extra hard or frustrating takes hold. You made progress. Enjoy it. Celebrate it. Hold onto it until the next phase blooms. Enjoy the NOW in the journey, and look forward to the THEN, which is so different from the WHAT WAS.

One day, these daily joys, that are novel NOW, may be what helps you maintain when the hunger monsters return.

Always find the thing to celebrate.

And be well...


Eaba said...

I love how feminine a dress can make you feel! You have nice legs and live in such a warm climate why not rock the dresses! You are truly an inspiration to many of us and thank you for checking on me this week.

Bunpoh said...

Soooooo cute!

Funny, I wrote kind of a parallel post about dressing up today. :)

And I disagree with the "hot dish" comment. I think you can totally be that now. I think that you are now! I told someone at a club the other day that I, like Benjamin Button, am aging backwards. I think you are too!

Karen Butler Ogle said...

Even though you may have hoped for a lower number you are going in the right direction and that is something to be glad about. You look awesome in that dress. I love it. You will get back to that lower number and exceed it and I think I will too. We just have to keep plodding along doing what we know we have to do to get there. I'm giving myself a sermon here, aren't I? LOL Hang in there, Mir. Hugs.

safire said...

I think you are a hot dish and it's possible for women of all ages to get there :)

You look fantastic in that dress and I know what you mean by feeling girly again! Congratulations on your loss!

Julie said...

I don't know about dresses Mir. I have never found one that I really like but maybe one day I will have to give it a try.
You are beautiful Mir, very much so.
Keep up the great work. Take care and God Bless!!

aj~ said...

I stumbled upon your blog in a google search for tankinis! Then I got sucked in by your pictures and stories. I've been struggling with weight forever-mainly because I was never in the present acknowledging how far I've come...I just wanted to be like I used to and had this silly ideal in my head. As a result, I regained and kept going up and down with major fluctuations. For over a year I've been excessing regularly and eating super healthy. Last May I wore a slim fitting dress to a wedding (which I've never done before) and because of my new fit self realized all of these years that I had hips!! (not super flattering when there's too much weight on them) Everyday I am thankful that I am healthy and able to run seeing that I'm almost 40. I also have a very new relationship with food and limit the amount of unhealthy choices-but still let myself indulge in a burger and fries. On a regular basis I eat avocados and nuts and I don't go crazy counting every single one anymore just because they're fatty. I just make sure that if I'm working out regularly. I no longer own a scale because I realized obsessing about a number took me away from really being in tune with how I felt about myself and my body. If I'm comfortable in jeans because my fat roll no longer hangs over-yay! If not, I probably skipped too many workouts that week or so-time to get back on it. I had one of the best weight watcher leaders-she taught me-if you get off the wagon don't beat yourself up, just acknowledge it and get back on. She also said, don't think you can go back to eating and living the way you used to-it's time for a change. You have seriously done an amazing thing with your health! Think about it-other people would just say "o well" and probably die before their time because they couldn't get the courage to face themselves. You didn't do that! You took control of your life and went for it. You look AMAZING! I couldn't believe the difference in your face in the photos of how far you've come. It's so hard for us to give ourselves credit-trust me I know. But we deserve it. How do you feel? Are you comfortable with your body without a mirror? Do you feel healthy? After finding that slim fitting dress I came to appreciate my body for its womanly features. (big hips, thighs and boobs) I've never had a healthy body image and I was determined to change that. Now I do. I don't have a perfect body, but it's mine and it looks like a woman's-curvy!!:) Keep up the hard work. Don't forget to acknowledge yourself. And please, don't obsess on the number-who decided what that should be anyway? Think of it more in sizes and/or a range.-i.e. not over 150 instead it has to be 136. That's just crazy.
You're awesome. I'm so glad I stumbled upon this. I'm going to keep up with you...I have an awesome quote I should send...but this post is already too long. I'll send it another time.
YOU. ROCK. seriously an amazing story that makes me SOOOOOOO stoked! I love seeing people take life by the balls!! you go girl!!
Amy Jo

screaming fatgirl said...

You look beautiful in that dress. :-)

MeJane said...

Very cute dress! LOVE the print! A black tie belt with tassles is just what it needs. And I think the second pic is the cutest of them all :)

Jordan said...

Hey Bud,
That style of dress looks really good on you! You do rock some really nice legs and ankles! I think that now that we've really *felt* what it's like to be not hot, it's SO much more precious to feel hot. Most people don't get wolf whistles, no matter their age - you are definitely looking HOT to guys 'cause you move like you own it.

upinthecosmos said...

You are looking good & happy, the rest will come cause you won't give up & in the end you will win:-). Yea, on moving closer to that goal!

Casey said...

You look amazing, Mir! Nice clothes help improve my mood! I'm so afraid of dresses right now. Hopefully, I'll get back into them when my figure reappears.