Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Still Eerie Scale; Great Posts Out READ THOSE; And Why I Can't Eat Pizza or Lasagna--essentially, it drives me mad-- and Maybe Why YOU Can't Eat Some Foods; And Why Can't FOlks Be Courteous In These Bloggy Endeavors?

Tanita-San is clearly possessed: 180.4

Bluezy needs to do that backward masking check thing or something, cause that's just really scary now with the exact same number 4 days in a row, and innumerable times in the last few weeks.

Or an exorcism. I'll bring the holy water and candles, Bluezy!

I saw so many cool posts today/yesterday, that I figure you should read those folks, not me. Go wander and read the beauties out there at KEEPING OFF 200 POUNDS and other terrific blogs in my blogroll.

Nah, I changed my mind. READ ME. You'll get a glimpse into my food-nuttiness in just a minute, I promise. Read on:

For a cautionary tale--and I mean cautionary regarding keeping to controlled, healthful eating even on vacation or suffer--go visit April of 30 by 30 blog. This is why I try not to eat poorly even on holidays, birthdays, etc. Cause then it's HARD TO STOP! I learned that in THE END OF OVEREATING, by my own experiences,  and by seeing blogger after blogger be felled by the cruise or trip or weekend getaway with the, "Oh, it's just for this special occasion" and hitting the junk foods or otherwise bingeing. This makes the rewards for old overeating habits come back into play. It makes it harder NOT to overeat.

I've experienced the same when I stopped eating 1200 calories and went back to 1400, 1600, 1800 even some days. To go back DOWN takes crazy discipline when it was easy before, and I still haven't re-established the habit. I still am eating in a controlled manner, no crap foods. BUT..I am maintaning or plateaued or whatever it is that has me at the same number, more or less, for far, far too long.

When one loosens the reins, a little or a whole lot, it makes it hard to return to "I mean business" eating. It can be done, of course, and the bigger one is, the fast the weight will come off when control is re-established, but it will still be hard after it happens.

This is why I stay away from trigger foods. I do not want to be fighting off THOSE cravings again. I don't have them now, I haven't binged in almost 1 1/2 years. Not one single binge in 17 months. That's not a fire I want to tempt to re-ignite.

Someone said I'll reach a place where I can eat pizza (or my other trigger foods) in moderation again.

Well, I did. In January of this year. At least physical moderation.

Here's how it went:  My sister was having raging pizza cravings, so hubby and I took her to Anthony's Coal-Fired Pizza for lunch. I knew it could be huge trouble if I didn't use my strategies, all defenses UP, so I ordered glass after glass of decaf and water before the food arrived to begin filling my stomach. I ordered a garden salad with vinaigrette on the side. I had a piece of grilled chicken off a shared plate to get satiation going. THEN, when the pizza arrived, a personal sized one (ie, quite small) that sis and I were to share, I had one slice, left part of the crust, then had 1/3 of a second slice, and let sis have the rest.

And I lost weight that week. :) That's the good part. The controlled part. The happy and social facade.

Here's the unseen portion of this drama:

It was a psychological suspense-thriller in my head.

Before the pizza came, I was anticipating it with fervor, the junkie with a fix coming after a long absence. Part eager, part analytical and plotting strategies. When it came, I was drooling for it, but had to eat it slower to enjoy, while wanting to scarf it up like a starving madwoman. After eating what I ate, I sat at that table nursing decaf and water and thinking, "I want more. I want more. I want more. I want more. I want to lick that plate of pizza crumbs. I want to lick more sauce. I want more cheeese. I WANT MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE."

I felt unsatisfied and disturbed, even though I'd had a decent amount of food.

Outside, cool and composed and chatty. Inside, raging and ratty-haired and drooling while limping along some ghetto gutter....

This is why I don't go to pizza joints, even though I know now that I COULD have a reasonable, MODERATE amount.

Because my brain doesn't want a moderate amount. My brain wants ALL THE FRICKEN PIZZA IN THE PLACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Same with other triggers. I can't have them and feel, 'Ah, I've had nourishment and I'm done and have energy and let's go walk, dance, play, laugh, read a book, see a movie, yadda..." Normal brain. NOrmal eating. Externally AND internally.

No, with those food my brain goes into freaky-overeater mode. I hate that feeling. I hate it so much I'm willing to NOT eat this food. Accept that it's a danger to me. And just cross it off my eating list.

This is me. You may not go brain nuts around pizza. I do. I can be outwardly totally composed and moderate and restrained. Inside, I'm a nutso-wacko.

I like feeling calm inside. The way I eat now, I am calm, easy, no brain food-lunacy. No--and excuse my use of Beth-Speak-- FOOD F*CKERY!

I feel happy and calm and in control. I have no desire to binge. On anything other than fruit some days, and those are the days when I know that I need to watch fruit intake.

So, understand that I am not normal about food in certain areas. If I were a normal eater, I'd not have gotten to 300 pounds. If YOU got to 250, 300, 400 pounds, you are not normal about food or certain foods or a group of foods. YOU have food issues. No one gets that huge without issues (barring some medical anomaly in the vast minority).

I suggest you read REFUSE TO REGAIN blog today. Good post about "poorly tolerated foods". Pizza is one of mine...well, probably the wheat/bread aspect of pizza. I can eat cheese and sauce in moderation, and have, nuked, and felt fine. I've eaten zucchini pasta with cheese and sauce and been fine. I've eaten spaghetti squash with sauce and cheese and was fine. BUT....Add the bread/braeding component to cheesy--like in lasagna, cheese enchiladas, mac n cheese, grilled cheese sandwiches, eggplant parm, chicken parm, cheeseburgers, fried onion rings with dipping sauce--and I go nuts.THE END OF OVEREATING addressed this, too--the killer triumvirate that makes those of us who are hyperconditioned overeaters go absolutely BONKERS.

Some folks can have a tiny bit of certain things and be fine. I can have the tiniest, most minute slice of cake or pie and not want more, but not so with the mentioned foods above; others I know can't stop if they start in with ice cream or cake or cookies. But I would guess that if you got huge like me, you have issues with some cravings/foods. You reinvigorate your appetite if you go off plan with THOSE things.

So, we simply should not. Not in parties. Not on birthdays. Not on anniversaries. Not on vacation. Just stay away from poorly tolerated/trigger foods. I've, sadly, tragically, seen weight loss bloggers start on the road with those and end up regaining massive numbers of pounds and then...disappear from blogging.

Think of those foods like meth or heroine or crack or booze (for an alcoholic). You can't have them.

If you are great at moderation and don't get cravings and don't get "food nutso" when you have them, God bless you. You're a lucky one.

And for my peeve of the day: Why can't folks just be courteous and let you know they are not continuing with a challenge. Just noticed one of the "challengers" deleted their blog. No email. No comment. No note. Just gone. Sorry, fricken rude, that.

Looks like we're down to 27 out of the original 30 challengers in this our 6th week in progress. On we go...the good fight for the good health we all deserve.

But don't invite me to a pizza joint, yes?


Anonymous said...

Great insights on trigger foods. I definitely have similar reactions. I don't eat donuts anymore. Love them...don't eat them!
Thanks for the shout-out! :-)

Nanette said...

oh my heck, i agree with the cheese+bread/carb deathly combo. I'm finding replacements. I've tried vegan cheeses - TOOOOOO HIGH IN SODIUM. I've tried pasta with different kinds of topping not cheese or dairy related.

Over the past week I've learned that I can't just have one slice. I can't just have two. I stop at three and that is TWO TOO MANY.

oh, learning. :)

Suzan said...

Eating wheat + cheese = addictive behavior. The opioid effects of gluten + casein wrecked my health. I haven't had wheat in over 2 years, thankfully. I eat cheese only occasionally.

I eat gluten-free pizza once in a while.

More so lately, as we are out of town on business. This town only has 2 places with gluten-free choices, and one of them is a pizza restaurant.

It's funny because I can't overeat gluten-free pizza. We have to SPLIT one personal-size pizza. We tried ordering two personal-sized pizzas, but we could only eat 1/2 each. If it were a pizza with a wheat crust, I would eat the whole thing, and probably help my hubby finish his as well.

Of course, this is only anecdotal evidence. There are scientific studies on the addictive effects of gluten and casein that can be found on the internet. But I don't need those to prove the theory, as I know what happens to my brain when I eat those foods together. And if I add sugar to that mix, and I might as well be shooting up heroin. Yes, it's that addictive.

Jane Cartelli said...

I will not go to a pizza place
I do not want to stuff my face
I do not feel like eating one slice
I do so want two slices, repeat twice
I would eat it even with gruyere cheese and ham
But today I will not have it - pizza demons be damned!

You can send us to read other blogs but not until I have read your experience and hope. As a fellow pizza addict, I need to hear what you have to share.


Anonymous said...

Thanks for the great comment on my post. That is exactly why I posted it, to show that it wasn't as cool as it seemed to be at the time. It was some real talk, that's for sure. It sucks. I made the cabbage soup, had 1 cup. I wanted to follow it with some chocolate, thankfully I have no garbage in my house.

I also think the deleting of the blog was rude. Today I went through the blog roll to make sure I had visited the challengers recently since being gone, and saw that 1 was deleted. Crazy. Life happens, but courtesy shouldn't be left to the side.

Karen said...

Great post! Thank you for sharing. I'm working my way through the Refuse to Reagin book and it's fabulous. Required reading for all- IMO.

Okay, tell me, what is CDCC ?

Thanks again and I'm glad I'm not the only one who is not going back down the pizza, jellybean, popcorn, and potluck/work food path once I reach goal weight. Just not going to do it. Developing a warrior/ ninja attitude- just like the book says.

Karen Butler Ogle said...

The addictive and obsessive eating problem with certain foods is where my surgery comes in. I am one of the 20% of gastric bypass patients who has dumping syndrome. I get physically ill when I have too many carbs. I can't handle very much pizza breads or pastas. Those used to be my downfall but what happens to me now when I indulge has taught me to avoid them. Not that I don't have slips but generally I just get reminded that I shouldn't have those foods. It isn't fun to spend a day sitting on the can.

EmptyNester said...

I had all kinds of nice things to say about your wonderful post but all I can think about now is pizza. LOL

Julie said...

I have to learn this better too Mir. Thanks for such a great post.
Take care and I hope that scale gets to moving again for you. Me too!!

lv2 said...

Perhaps the ghosts and goblins have taken over your far doughnuts seem to be my trigger...don't touch food.....wish I could enjoy just one of them, but can't. Thanks for a good post.

Jo said...

Very rude to delete a blog with no apology to the hostess of the challenge you started.

Now I'm thinking about pizza.

Betty said...

I agree totally!! There are trigger foods for me too. For me it´s pudding cakes. Anything with pudding and whipped cream and I go nutso!!
Pizza is not one of them. A slice is enough for me.
"Think of those foods like meth or heroine or crack or booze (for an alcoholic). You can't have them." Something to put on my fridge!!