Some Challenge Particulars--and Changing one of my Challenge READS; Restarting Organic Produce Coop Today; And A Blogger Who Embodies My Mantra of "Never ever quit" Until It Clicks!--and my little cheerleading pom poms are taken out yet again! ETA: BETH, BETH, BETH COME BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Been doing fine with fluids. Been still eating more than 1200 calories, which has made me decide to switch out one of my books. Instead of re-reading one of my two selections, I'm gonna hit WILLPOWER by Gillian Riley. I think it's what I need now to stick to the LOWER end of the caloric range I set. Around 1400 is fine, if I want to crawl, crawl, crawl. I want to make it lower and keep a steady 1 pound or more loss a week.

I'm metabolically challenged. I don't have a big deficit zone that's doable. It's my reality.

I can maintain my weight now with about 1800. If I don't cut down to 1200 or less consistently, I'll likely not fit into that dress by December 18th, and I won't be at goal by my birthday next year. It's time to bring in the big willpower and focus guns, and Gillian is one of the big guns for me.

I did my hour of Pilates yesterday, but even though I had planned to walk and kept my workout clothes on waiting for 6:30pm (cooler, less harsh sun), the rain kept me in. So, that's on the agenda today.

I actually feel a bit letdown when I can't walk. I feel like..."something's missing, something's missing..."

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Today, I restart my organic co-op membership. I had taken a break, cause there were some organization issues that just irked me. It's easy enough for me to get organic goodies at Josh's Organic Garden or Whole Foods or, heck, even Publix, so it wasn't a big deal. Except I like supporting local farmers and I like the idea of a co-op, and I'm back. :) The cooler weather arrives next month, and more local produce is available starting fall.

I saw on the list they had beech mushrooms this week. I so hope they're good. I've had a beech mushrooms craving for 3 weeks now. I whooped at the idea I might have me some tonight!

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If you've tried various diets/eating plans and keep failing, my advice is DO NOT GIVE UP.

You knew that, right? If you read this blog regularly, you knew that was coming.

NO QUITTING.

Keep reading, learning, self-examining. Go see a therapist, try a different plan, try different exercises, try different foods, try different caloric levels, try support groups, try posting your picture and weight weekly on a blog, try writing about it, try meditation on the beach, try prayer-walking, try anything new, try sleeping more, try less tv, but keep working on it.

I fully believe every person is capable of finding something that works to get them healthier and slimmer. I also believe it will be very difficult. It will take time. It will mean changing a mental focus and maybe an entire lifestyle. That's hard.

I don't necessarily advise or believe everyone will get to Vogue-weight or Hollywood-sleek or OXYGEN magazine cover level. I don't believe most of us should even shoot for that. But I believe everyone can reach a healthier weight, a weight that reduces or eliminates meds, gets you out of diabetes II risk grouping, lowers early heart disease or stroke risk, etc. Yes, I believe everyone can do that.

If a total lazy ass couch potato binge eater procrastinating self-destructive food addicted dork like me can do it, yeah, anyone can. It's just hard. Hard like mad at first, then less hard. But always takes...discipline. Discipline was not my strong suit. I had to work those muscles like mad to make this progress. I was not inherently a disciplined person. I'm a dreamer, once self-loathing, tending to pessimism and not finishing tasks sort of dork. But when something matters, you put the energy into it.

I had to make this a priority. I had to make it matter more than the pleasure of eating and not exercising. I had to find pleasure in the NOT eating and the exercising. And no, I don't mean anorexia not eating. I mean find pleasure in not giving in to my binges. It is a 180 degree mental turn.

That doesn't come easy.

What worked for me was a combo of lowering carbs (not Atkins low, but lower), reading "epiphany" books, eating real food (get rid of 99% of processed stuff), blogging for accountability, and caloric counting in conjunction with online support in the form of blog challenges. That was MY combo-magic bullet (so far).

I advise folks to try this if they are like me (maybe like me in medical issues, in original body size, knowledge-oriented, book-oriented, blogging-friendly,  temperament/personality, triggers, neuroses, hah). I advise real food just cause it makes sense. I advise lowering carbs if you have binge/appetite issues, only cause I found it calmed my appetite to do so, allowing me for the first time in my adult life to actually STAY on a low-calorie eating, reducing plan for more than a few days, a week a couple months.

What works for you and other folks may be different.

While I'll rah-rah real food and for Metabolic Syndrome/Diabetes people to get the crap away from refined/processed foods and lower carbs and eat REAL and MOVE MOVE MOVE....everyone is in a different place mentally/emotionally/personality-wise.

Find what works for you to get you to a healthy place.

Never give up.

My mantra. If you're in the challenge, you know my mantra. Don't quit. Keep working at it. Don't give up.

The fact is that you have to find something that works pretty much for life (or something like it, heh). Long haul. You and I have to find that livable way to eat and move (that will be refined as you grow older, learn new stuff) that keeps us in that healthful place we want to be.

If you want to read one blogger who kept trying/failing, trying/failing, trying/failing until it CLICKED..and she found what worked for HER...here she is.

She is different from me. I don't like being told what to eat down to the last bite. I'd love to have a chef a la Oprah to cook my particular type of foods/meals for me, sure, but I take huge pleasure in going produce shopping. I love seeing fruits and veggies and plucking out my share. :D I love outdoor organic farmer's markets overflowing with colorful beauties from the ground, from trees, from herb planters. I love food shopping. I hate food putting-away and cooking. :) Is there a job for me? ; )

I know many give up, believing they will never do it. That was me a few years ago. Feeling hopeless. Researching weigh loss surgeries, talking to the doc about it, reading books and blogs with WLS peops.

And mind you, I respect people feeling that is their option and only last option. I'm not in YOUR head and heart and you gotta do what you gotta do. I was there. A few steps away from having my innards rejiggered.

But I decided that if you still have to diet and exercise anyway post WLS, that I'd just give that a bit more push and a real hard push. I just immersed myself in books, blogs, programs, food delivery, new plans, etc. And discovered my "light bulbs"...more than one. A comboo.

This is why I say it over and over. Don't quit. Keep reading. Keep learning. Keep trying. Keep digging. Keep hitting the issues. Do the hard work. Accept the hard aspect of the journey. Eye on lifetime, not just a week or a month or even a year. A lifetime of working on it and solving these issues. Find what makes it work FOR YOU.

When you do, it will feel like a whole new world inside you is unlocked. Look at the ones who lost it and are keeping it off. The joy. The energy. The self-discovery. The broadened life. When you control food, other things open up. Other opportunities.

I feel amazing. I look pretty good for a 51 year old dame who's still fat. :) I get flirted with, even younger hot dudes. Don't get that, but it says healthier me is also more attractive me. I feel--other than my crappy joints--like I'm my twenties me again. I still have lots of internal neurotic things to work on and that will improve my life even more, but not being obese is da bomb. DA BOMBDIGGIEST BOMB. I forgot how good it felt to just not be impeded so much by adipose tissue.

It's a great, great, feeling that obese me totally forgot. Encased and entombed as I was in my fat, I forgot how good THIS feels.

A pizza can't compare to being able to walk around Vienna or Paris or Rome all day long.

A bacon cheeseburger isn't worth looking beautiful in the latest fashionable outfit.

A chocolate cake isn't worth keeping up with your kids at the playground.

A bag of chips isn't worth great new flexible positions in sex without that belly in the way!

Find what makes it work for you --and me--FOR LIFE. Find what takes you down and makes you feel great. Find what revives you from the food-zombie life.

I'm still on the learning and losing journey. Twenty pounds and change to go. Then I have my maintenance journey. I plan to keep reading and learning and self-examining. I don't want to be the regain statistic. I wanna win.

And to do that I must...YOU MUST... never quit.


ETA: OMG, it's BETH!!! Beth, I've missed you so much!!!! Please blog again!!!!!! COME BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Have I groveled enough? :D   I'll review WILLPOWER for ya, k? So, blog again. I missed you like crazy!!!!