Tuesday, September 13, 2011

2 Good Days, 2 Days of Losing, Then, Bam, The "I didn't Plan Well" Screw Up! That's the bad news. The good news: Buying new stuff and happy with the dressing room reflection!

I am pretty pissed off at myself tonight. After weighing in earlier at 183.0 (1.2 pounds down from Sunday), after starting today well, I fell right on my face.

Let's see how it progressed:

I was up earlier than usual (for me), and had to hold off eating/drinking to get my blood taken at 1:30 pm. I had a non-carby, good dose-of-protein breakfast at 2:30 pm that should have held me well. And it did. By 7 pm I was still not hungry. But hubby and I went shopping, and by 7:30, I was having a hot flash and starting to feel really "I wanna eat." I had had my fluids and protein, but I waited too long and didn't take a snack with me (mistake, I usually do, but today, brain blip). We left TJ Maxx, loaded up the car, and right then, right there, I made the mistake:

I said, "Let's just go in there and eat."

Never mind that I had pork tenderloin at home and some asparagus and fresh organic romaine waiting to be done for supper. But the silly, stupid, hungry child in me trumped the adult woman who woke up in control and doing fine with fluids and protein and carbs. I had left 600 calories for supper. But I ate 2x that by my estimate (I always overestimate in restaurants, cause you know they don't cook with an eye to measuring fats and whatnot like you would at home.)

And I ended the day at just under 2000 calories. Yep. For me, that is a major screw-up.

You could not possibly slap my dumbass face more than I want to.

But, there it is. Let strategy drop, don't do  things proactively, don't stick to good habits, and even a day that starts great ends up crappy. Why did I not have my nuts or string cheese in my purse? Why didn't I just buy 2 bottles of water and guzzle?

Because my immature baby-girl somehow got hold of the reins.

And it won't happen again this week. I am committing myself to getting my groove solidly back, no inner brat in dominance, I'm about to whack raw the fanny hard of that inner food-idiot with the wisdom from one of my challenge books and some prayer.

I apologize for being a brat, foodwise. For being impetuous and brain-dead, foodwise. The only plus in it all, and one should look at plusses when possible, is that when we left, I did realize that I never went out of control like I would have 16 months ago, 2 years ago, 4 years ago. I had water, tea, and soup to start to fill up--that habit stuck, at least. I had salad x2. I had fruit for dessert.  I stayed away from carb-rich stuff. I stayed away from anything remotely pastry-like.  But I still had too many calories. And that makes me...as challenge leader..a failure.

I don't expect the scale to show 183.0 or less tomorrow. :(

So, mea culpa. Don't follow my example today, K? Keep your strategy in place. Keep your snacks and water accessible. Plan the days ahead better than I did today!

I will assess, learn, move on. And lose these last fricken 23 pounds!!!!!

Okay, knee skinned, band-aid applied, I'm moving on.

Anyway, the good reason I went shopping is cause a lot of my yoga/Pilates pants are too loose now or wearing out, and I went to get some cheaper than I can get 'em online. I like Marika and some other brands that I sometimes find there at less than half price. So, I stocked up on tees as well, a whole lotta them, and some racer-back sports tops, and found a pair of jeans that fit. That was rather momentous. Looking in a mirror in a dressing room with snug jeans and not wanting to scream horrors at my reflection. :D

Hubby was in line to pay and looking at my stuff and went, "Who are all those tiny clothes for?" Wink. I looked at a couple of the tees and thought, "Um, yeah, they really do look like they won't fit. Way different than my old size 28 tops, the size I seemed to have worn the longest time in this millenium!"

Got panties, too. Some of mine are drooping in the booty--a saggy-bottom gal here.

So, I'm ready to continue to work out without looking frumpy!

I hope you all did way, way better than me.

Be well...


Karla said...

Buying smaller clothes is so fun. Makes it all worth it

Failure, nah

Jane Cartelli said...

Who are you apologizing to? Aren't we all food brats?

You slipped but you stopped tonight. KUDOS to you. You slipped but not into the poison foods. Move into tomorrow with all you have learned on your journey and KNOW IN YOUR HEAD AND HEART that there are those you can reach out to for support if you feel another slide coming your way. YOU can do this and I am honored to be doing it with you.


downsizers said...

I have wondered where I left my brain at times. It happens to us all. I have just gotten caught off guard and eaten something without thinking and then it was off to the races. Being proactive and prepared is so very important as you just demonstrated! :-)

Laryssa said...

I guess I'd call what happened today a failure if you were INHUMAN or a ROBOT. But you're not. (Right???) Even though it wasn't what you planned on doing, it was IN CONTROL. YOU were IN CONTROL. You THOUGHT before eating. You made the right choices. Beating yourself up unnecessarily will just bring you down and make others feel like one little slip will be considered a huge failure by everyone else. We don't want them to think that. Celebrate the positives! Learn from the missteps! Move forward! :)

faithfulgyrl said...

No need to be sorry. Look at my blog and you'll see I messed up BIG time (the last two days) Ugh! You CAN do it. You just needed this to happen to realize what you needed to do tomorrow. LOL You are great inspiration and a great person for admitting how you ate.

Thanks :)

Angela Pea said...

Inner Brats. I call mine Olivia. She's a brat of the first order, but she's been pretty calm with food lately. She's now encouraging me to do crazy athletic things, like mountain biking. Silly Olivia.

New Clothes? SCORE!! In a smaller size? DOUBLE POINTS!!

Losing it in Vegas said...

I do this same thing...but I have figured out where I can eat and stay on plan. Subway and a local pizza place that makes a killer antipasto salad get most of my business. As does El Pollo Loco for their grilled chicken...

That is the strategy I had to adopt. Because these kinds of days do happen.

Congrats on the smaller size though!!

Losing Weight After 45 is a Bitch said...

Don't beat yourself up. We all screw up food-wise from time to time. The trick is to get through it and get back on track. Buying new "skinny" clothes is definitely a great motivation. I pretty much only bought off the bargain rack at Old Navy until I reached my goal weight. One motivation I had was that I only allowed myself to buy new "good" clothes once I fit into the clothes that I held onto "in case I lost weight and can get back into them." The day I fit back into this Black Giorgio Armani Sheath that I bought before my daughter was born was a truly happy day.

Anne H said...

That's why I try not to judge when people trail off. Cuz I am prone to do it too... Once in the bluest moon. Such is life, I think!
Glad to come out of the tailspin!

Julie said...

Oh Mir, you are human and humans error and learn from it. So today is a new day and life goes on. You are an awesome and inspiring woman and also human. Life is good. I am following you out of the 180's. Working hard and getting there.
Take care and God Bless!!

paulawannacracker said...

I read your post and immediately thought "shoot, I'm not the only one who trips themselves up." I've been having far too many of those 2,000 calorie days. Love your accountability and the way you checked yourself and will move on. Great. That's how one stays on track. Great blog.