I am pretty pissed off at myself tonight. After weighing in earlier at 183.0 (1.2 pounds down from Sunday), after starting today well, I fell right on my face.
Let's see how it progressed:
I was up earlier than usual (for me), and had to hold off eating/drinking to get my blood taken at 1:30 pm. I had a non-carby, good dose-of-protein breakfast at 2:30 pm that should have held me well. And it did. By 7 pm I was still not hungry. But hubby and I went shopping, and by 7:30, I was having a hot flash and starting to feel really "I wanna eat." I had had my fluids and protein, but I waited too long and didn't take a snack with me (mistake, I usually do, but today, brain blip). We left TJ Maxx, loaded up the car, and right then, right there, I made the mistake:
I said, "Let's just go in there and eat."
Never mind that I had pork tenderloin at home and some asparagus and fresh organic romaine waiting to be done for supper. But the silly, stupid, hungry child in me trumped the adult woman who woke up in control and doing fine with fluids and protein and carbs. I had left 600 calories for supper. But I ate 2x that by my estimate (I always overestimate in restaurants, cause you know they don't cook with an eye to measuring fats and whatnot like you would at home.)
And I ended the day at just under 2000 calories. Yep. For me, that is a major screw-up.
You could not possibly slap my dumbass face more than I want to.
But, there it is. Let strategy drop, don't do things proactively, don't stick to good habits, and even a day that starts great ends up crappy. Why did I not have my nuts or string cheese in my purse? Why didn't I just buy 2 bottles of water and guzzle?
Because my immature baby-girl somehow got hold of the reins.
And it won't happen again this week. I am committing myself to getting my groove solidly back, no inner brat in dominance, I'm about to whack raw the fanny hard of that inner food-idiot with the wisdom from one of my challenge books and some prayer.
I apologize for being a brat, foodwise. For being impetuous and
brain-dead, foodwise. The only plus in it all, and one should look at plusses when possible, is that when we left, I did realize that I
never went out of control like I would have 16 months ago, 2 years ago, 4
years ago. I had water, tea, and soup to start to fill up--that habit stuck, at least. I had salad
x2. I had fruit for dessert. I stayed away from carb-rich stuff. I stayed away from anything remotely pastry-like. But I still had too many
calories. And that makes me...as challenge leader..a failure.
I don't expect the scale to show 183.0 or less tomorrow. :(
So, mea culpa. Don't follow my example today, K? Keep your strategy in place. Keep your snacks and water accessible. Plan the days ahead better than I did today!
I will assess, learn, move on. And lose these last fricken 23 pounds!!!!!
Okay, knee skinned, band-aid applied, I'm moving on.
Anyway, the good reason I went shopping is cause a lot of my yoga/Pilates pants are too loose now or wearing out, and I went to get some cheaper than I can get 'em online. I like Marika and some other brands that I sometimes find there at less than half price. So, I stocked up on tees as well, a whole lotta them, and some racer-back sports tops, and found a pair of jeans that fit. That was rather momentous. Looking in a mirror in a dressing room with snug jeans and not wanting to scream horrors at my reflection. :D
Hubby was in line to pay and looking at my stuff and went, "Who are all those tiny clothes for?" Wink. I looked at a couple of the tees and thought, "Um, yeah, they really do look like they won't fit. Way different than my old size 28 tops, the size I seemed to have worn the longest time in this millenium!"
Got panties, too. Some of mine are drooping in the booty--a saggy-bottom gal here.
So, I'm ready to continue to work out without looking frumpy!
I hope you all did way, way better than me.