Formally Tracking Again....and an apology with some comments on "whining" and what I mean by it...

Okay, so I haven't tracked, walked, or really been disciplined in a couple weeks plus.

Actually, I have only mentally tracked for months.

So, as an exercise in discipline for today--since what I need is to get that BACK, the discipline--I started tracking again. Today. With Breakfast: 480 cals. 27 carbs.

It was a weird feeling entering each item I ate and seeing the data add up. I spent over a year faithfully tracking, until it became burdensome, and I dropped it. Now, it feels nostalgic. I remember the 268 pound me really facing the long journey and deciding, okay, this is one tool. One.

I remember how much I learned using it, though it was a pain in the kiester, as a lot of things requiring faithfulness and discipline are.

I haven't weighed in days. I haven't even mentally tallied calories in days. I have felt such apathy and sadness. But today, I begin small. I track.

Ya know,  I feel a little better. Just doing this little old "diet discipline" thing made me remember. It was so much harder and sadder being morbidly obese. But I remember the drive and fear and hopefulness of my furiously intense tracking days. That was a good thing to remember. How much I wanted to be...here.

~~~~~~
 

I apologize if I offended anyone with yesterday's post.

It wasn't meant to say we cannot gripe or whine on our blogs, which of course, that's one of the reasons for HAVING a blog, to be able to be ourselves. It's not meant to say our diet journeys don't matter. Health matters. It's meant to say we matter more than the diet, and other things matter more in perspective, so not to let our weights be the determinant of our being, our feelings, our outlook. That makes us slaves, in a way.

My feelings as blogged yesterday came from my observations of a certain distortion that can happen with diet bloggers: How a pound up can make folks feel worthless and like failures and the self-hate that follows. How that pound takes on a meaning beyond what it should have. The lack of perspective.

A needed vent, whine is therapeutic.

Speaking of some negative things: necessary.

When the whines go on and one, chronically, and the scale is master and lord, one's perspective surely can become screwed up. Badly screwed up. (Been there.)

My tracker, my scale, calculations of BMI, and so forth--these are tools. And they should never rule or define me. EVER. I told myself this in 2010, and I still tell myself this.

Morbidly obese me had as much value as not morbidly obese me.

But morbidly obese me couldn't move or feel as good or have the renewed dreams not obese me can, simply cause I have better ability to FUNCTION in my day to day. And the growth in self-worth isn't cosmetic. It's because I achieved something I wanted to. I wanted to NOT be obese. I wanted to become master of my food, not let food master me.

The previous post, partly born of depression, partly of frustration at the self-hating from the blogging sphere over failures, was meant to say, "Keep perspective." Hating ourselves (and in some cases out there hating OTHERS) for failing to meet slimming goals is counter-productive and, yes, adds to the negative power in the world. We need to cut that crap out.

Even as we learn to discipline ourselves, we need to forgive ourselves when we fail. Not for self-indulgence's sake--cause if there's anything we overeaters don't need is an excuse to self-indulge-- but for the sake of being humane in our journey. It's easy to lose that perspective.

 And when that number can ruin our day and alter our sense of self, we've lost perspective. It's time for a corrective at that point.

(It goes both ways. If a pound lost can make the radical sunshine reaction change in your day, like the pound gained can put a huge black cloud over it, there's some calibration issues with one's emotions. It's like the scale-mediated bipolar syndrome or something.)

So far, I haven't had a number ruin my day in a long while, though I may not like the number. Though it may not be my goal number. I look at the feedback and try to do better, but I refuse to be self-hating anymore about weight. I spent too many years--decades!--doing that. What did it get me? Diddly squat other than low self-esteem.

While I disagree with the Heath-At-Any-Size folks on some particulars--sorry, me at 300 and 400 and 500 pounds could hardly be called healthy, and I'm not buying that line--I do believe we ought to be loved, respected, and valued AT ANY SIZE. Even by ourselves. And that's really hard to do, but I believe it should be part of the program as we work on HEALTH and getting to different size.

Maybe we should ask about the motivations and the outcomes:

Is my whine/vent about a frustration? Is it about self-hate? Is it ongoing and fruitless? Is it therapeutic, a release?

These are questions I will ask myself. And maybe you should ask, too.

If whining is persistent and goes nowhere in terms of progress, internally and externally, then that whining is a mental rut or self-indulgence, the latter of which makes it a lack of virtue or, if really chronic, a character flaw , not a release or a vent.

For Christians, it would qualify as a sin, perhaps, at that point. Just take a tour of what Scripture has to say on whining, complaining, murmuring. It may apply. It may not. This requires self-examination.

With a caution: Just because a thing is "permissible", doesn't mean it's beneficial. That which makes you FEEL better for the moment may actually be keeping you from being built up into what you want to be.

I've been there; I know that where my mind and spirit abided, in times past--and I'm talking pre-2010-- were BAD places of much complaint and some despair and a whole lotta self-loathing. If it gets to that point, we who were told that no matter the situation"in everything, give thanks" need to cut that out. It's a command.

It's a simple fact to say, "I chose to eat X and it was off plan.  I feel sad about that. I feel frustrated and wanna SCREAM.  I'm considering why I made these decisions, in these situations, so maybe I can have strategies to better fit those temptations. Here's where maybe I went wrong and can do better, yadda X and yadda Y...  And though I feel sad, I know I can learn from this. I can do better. I won't let this cut me up and get to me. I will fix this somehow."

That's not whining. That's assessing. That's confessing. That's learning. That's keeping hope. That's  something that can lead to self-work that is productive, I think.

Whining--the whining I refer to, not the occasional vent--is when there's this sort of persistent sense of "woe is me" going on and on on a blog, a repetitive thing, a habitual thing:

...this thing happened and that thing happened and another thing happened and it's not my fault I overate cause I was stressed and then I got tempted by birthday cake and I couldn't resist and then my sister made this and I ate that and why do they tempt me and how come people don't support me and help me stay on my plan and then I went to get donuts cause my neighbor was mean to me again and really I'm just so lazy that I can't bring myself to walk which isn't my fault cause it's hot and there are mosquitoes and I get itchy, but I should go to the gym, but I didn't, cause the gym people stare and were smirking at me last time, and it's the worst, and I hate that I'm like this and I hate myself, and when I hate myself, I just wanna eat more...

I don't see how that helps much, other than the venting aspect, if for some that helps. And it may.

BUT, is it a pattern? Vent and vent and whine and whine and...then what? It can become another sort of addiction, maybe.  Addicted to the vent-whine and the pats on the back that can follow. The sympathy addiction.

Which helps precisely how?

I'm seriously asking that. If it helps, then do it. I can't say don't do something that is leading you down the right road, helping you make progress.

I just wonder at the follow-up: And then what.  Does it help? Does it really lead to progress? Or is it just about FEELING the moment. And then..no fruit. A dead tree.

If it bears fruit and helps: do it.

If it has not helped and you're still stuck and whining: Please, find another way. It's a dead tree that can't nourish you. Why keep watering it?

So, if what I wrote yesterday hurt your feelings in any way, or sounded too bossy or critical,  I'm sorry. It was not meant to do that. It really was not.

(And I hope you were brave enough to read the story.)

Today,  I'm still fighting for joy and self-control and to be well...

You, keep fighting, too, and find joy, and be well, too.

And This I discovered via self-experimentation, anyway... :) A revisit of my DNA Test for "optimal diet" for my genetic type...and how you can use tracking to figure out what's best for you!

Those of you who have read me since the early days of this second weight loss blog of mine--the first one being Once Upon a Diet, where I spent time learning and trying to get my act together--will remember the Inherent Health DNA test that I took to help me with my journey.

It gave me some dire, but interesting info. Yes, I am genetically a high fat absorber and a fat hoarder. I have to exercise harder than the average person to burn fat. I am simply disposed to pack it on and keep it on. I gots some o' dem dere fatz geenz.

They then suggested I trim fat and use a diet similar to the low-fat model the government and many dietitians suggest. 65% carbs, 15% fat.

I had done that type of diet multiple times in the past with registered dietitians and using magazine low-fat diet menus, and really, never could do well on them.

I decided to go back to worked on my journey. Reducing carbs. I went to a dietitian who decided with my medical issues, reducing starches would be best to one serving a day, no more. I thrived, lost better than ever. I noticed in my SparkPeople tracking that I did best--weight loss wise--when my ratio was in the ranges where carbs were no more than 40% and fat was no more than 40%. Just observing the feedback on Sparkpeople. I mentioned that on this blog, how "Zone" type ratios seemed to be happy-making for my weight loss. If I kept my carbs to 80 to 100, I lost better and appetite was really low. My main temptation to not keeping that low is I adore fruit. :-)

I experimented with upping my starches again, for other health reasons, and this was not beneficial to the weight loss, I can tell you. Cravings came back hard.

I'm  back to working this week that plan of no more than 1 starch serving a day, and using fruit and veggies for my carbs. I am not dong LOW carb by the standards of Atkins type low-carbers, as my carbs can easily reach 150. Ideally, I'd like to keep them more in the 80 to 120 range. Ideally.

The reason I originally lowered my carbs in this journey in 2010 was due to my insulin resistance/prediabetes/Metabolic Syndrome. It seemed the best way to approach that condition from what I'd read.

I remember going to Inherent Health's FB wall and leaving a message that while they may advise me to do Fat Trimming type High Carb dieting, my weight loss went better with Carb Reducer type levels. So, sorry, I had to do it my way. But I'm glad to be armed with the reality of my DNA strikes against me.

So, all that preface to say that today, in the mail. I got  a letter from Inherent Health. And it states that while the DNA doesn't change--and no, I won't go into epigenetics, heh--their recommendations based on an expanded study they undertook that reveals"newly discovered correlations"  that show the optimal diet for my genetic type is not what they originally recommended. I should not trim fat.

They now recommend I follow the CARB REDUCER diet.
:-/

My reaction after reading the letter?

"No sh*t, Sherlock."

Well, I'm glad their expanded study and correlations back up what I learned on my own. They do emphasize it's for LONG TERM success at weight loss. Well, shoot. Ain't that what we're all after? Not short term, not razzle-dazzle lose a lot in 2 weeks. I want to lose it LONG TERM.

Now, to just apply it. Get back to that "Zoneish" whole foods way of eating --the 33-33-33 or 40-30-30--that worked well in 2010 and 2011 when I hit that sweet spot.

You can track your food for a few weeks/months and figure this out without any genetic tests. What works best with your body. Look at the feedback on SparkPeople...see which weeks fat just melted off. You may do better with more carbs or more fat or more protein or this ratio or that ratio. You can investigate it with diligent tracking.

BONUS: With detailed tracking, you'll also find where you fall short in your meal plans, as I learned from the SP nutrition tracker that I often fell short of zinc, copper, magnesium, potassium, iron, and folic acid, partly cause I was doing low calories and part because I can't eat a host of foods (allergies and sensitivities). I knew I had to supplement. And felt way better. :D

I will add that I had tried South Beach and Atkins first phases in the past, and felt like crap. (Lost loads of fluid weight the first weeks, which is always a boost, but felt like crap on very few carbs, hence my not doing low carb now, meaning induction type, 60 grams or fewer.)

I paid for a test. And I'm glad. But I also did the tracking, observation, measuring, pondering. I guess I did my own self-study. :D

I've been having about 120 carbs daily this week. And Tanita-San just put me back in the decade I had dipped into but not stayed in:  179.8

It's nice to have affirmaton. But hey, I knew what I knew..it's always application and consistency that are the keys to making the "I know" work.

All of you who have many dieting experiences behind you have a store of self-knowledge. If you don't remember or never tracked, try it. Learn. Apply.

This is a VERY stressful time in our household (again), so applying is a challenge, but is necessary. Life always has stressful times. We need to deal with those without a host of excuses. I don't want to make excuses. I want to....be in control. :D

Reducing carbs makes it a little easier for ME.

Happy Friday.

Be well...

Pondering my Slimmer This Summer Challenge Goals...and hey, my blog is "Adorable"!

Before June 6, I will be posting on what my specific, measurable goals are for the Slimmer This Summer Challenge. I put my tentative goals (subject to change) on my sidebar badge for the challenge (see upper right sidebar).

I'm still fighting the mood thing, though the sleep thing is better. (Thank you, foam mattress topper that will hold us over until we get a new mattress.) We went mattress shopping and could only agree on two models, both memory foam, one a no-name that seemed overpriced and other other the very expensive TempurPedic. Ouch. More than 3K for the only one we both said, "Ah, comfy."

3K+. Excuse me, really? Wow. Ow.

Oh, but they had a $200 off deal.

Excuse me while I snort...

Weight has bounced from 196.4 to 197.4. Focusing on goals is necessary for me. Without goals, it's too easy to get lax. I have been great NOT eating junk or reverting to old ways. I have been lazy about measuring. It's good that one of the rules of the challenge is daily tracking. You may be cool without it. I need it.

On the plus side, at the size I'm now, every pound starts to be noticeable and count. My trainer said she can notice differences every week, see more musculature be visible, see better when I'm doing X or Y move. Well, hey, that's good. :) I know I seem to feel more bones every week...

Back to the challenge: One of the other rules is to stay between 1200 and 1400 calories. My personal goal is to stay under/at/close to 1200. It just is a better losing rate for me. I'm way smaller than I was, so if I go over too much, my rate of loss will just slow frustratingly.

I plan (as long as budget allows, which basically means SAVING LESS for retirement right now) to continue my 2x a week private Pilates sessions. I have talked with the instructor about adding one Reformer class. I love using the Cadillac and Reformer. Now that I'm way smaller than when I started Pilates, I feel like I can keep up with a class with minimal modification. She's already letting me do most exercises without big mods for what used to be a supadupa-crazy-huge belly and now is just a big belly. So, this is one of my considerations for the challenge: add an equipment class of Pilates.

Another possibility is to do something altogether different--like try to get in on the aqua-aerobics class (which was full last season when I checked). I'd need a unitard for that (no one will be seeing these crinkly deflated inner thighs!) Or tai-chi. They have a class nearby. I might even sample Zumba once I'm at or under 185 (ie, not obese anymore). I honestly think my knees will be an impediment, but I won't know unless I *try*. Challenge means I should do things out of my comfort zone, so why not?

And that's why I would love to finally, finally, finally do normal push-ups. 4 of them. I made them a goal. I've never in my whole life been able to to pull-ups, chin-ups, or non-modified full push-ups. So, that's probably my hardest challenge for this summer.

I plan to continue walking as long as I can tolerate the heat. I like what it does for my stamina and the shape of my legs. My legs look really good since I started walking! I just got back from PlayWalking with hubby (garsh, it was muggy), and the allergens are on full out there. My eyes are itching like mad. We threw around a football as we walked. Fun. :)

June is the number one month of milestones for hubby and me. We first met, first dated, first kissed, first said "I love you", got married, and first did the big whoopie in June. It's also his birthday month. So, we have many celebrations. I don't plan to have cakes, boxes of chocolates, massive dinners out. Having the challenge begin 6/6 means almost all the milestones will be DURING the challenge, and it will help me not derail. It's all to easy to say, "Oh, it's a special occasion. I'm having crap and cake with cream on top!" I stayed very close to plan on Valentine's and on my Birthday, so why not on my love milestones, too.

We can always celebrate with music, dancing, sightseeing, beachwalks, fresh summer fruit and veggie-packed salads, and lotsa whoopie.

So, I will continue to ponder my goals and make a decision by June 5.

I know this: I have 36 to 37 pounds to lose. These are the HARDEST to lose. Not just cause I have multiple strikes against me--post-menopausal, hypothyroid, insulin resistant, plus other chronic health issues and various meds, including several that make you HUNGRIER- but cause the smaller you get, the fewer calories you need, the smaller the caloric deficit when eating the same calorie level (ie, 1200 ). But there is no choice but to hang in and think long haul and lifestyle and lifetime.

If I lose 1 pound a week, I get there by my birthday in Feb of next year.

If I lose 2 pounds a week, I make it by Halloween. :)

Either way, I will get there. Then I will have a whole new journey: Maintenance. That one is crazy hard, too. But at least you wear more stylish clothes there and don't fear breaking chairs or getting in and out of booths (or NOT getting in). :)

Are you pondering your summer health, weight, fitness goals, too?

~~

I'd like to thank Sarah of On My Weigh To Happiness blog for a bloggy award. It's lovely to be thought of.

She listed these as the rules:
Thank the person who gave you this award, and link back to them in your post. (Thanks T)
-Tell us 10 things about yourself.
-Nominate your bloggers.
-Contact these bloggers, and let them know they received this award.

I normally don't continue to the chain, and this time, no different. If I visit your blog, comment, have you on my blogroll, it means I like your blog and prolly think it's "Adorable!" :)  If I'm a regular for you--and you know if I am a regular, cause I have commentorrhea, also known as making long, rambling comments that sometimes verge on the pompous!--then yes, you are adorable!

Anyway, 10 things about me (you may leave now if this bores the helloutta ya):

1. I was born in revolutionary historic city in eastern Cuba. Sort of like the "Philadelphia" of Cuba.
2. I have lived in NYC (the Bronx) and South Florida. That's it. Only places I've lived.
3. I am an otaku with regard to anime/manga/sci-fi/fantasy. Look it up. :)
4. I'm a member of three different museums, cause art rocks!
5. I have seen ghosts.
6. I have multiple phobias, including swimming in the ocean (sharks!) and flying on planes. I plan to overcome the latter one, since my weight loss reward (if I keep it off at least 2 years) will be a trip to TUSCANY! (Unless we're uberbroke.)
7. I love surrealistic art (especially Remedios Varo and De Chirico)  and the Pre-Raphaelites. (Look it up.)
8. I find the Scottish accent and Asian features the sexiest in the world. So, if an Asian dude with a Scottish accent came up to me, I'd either have serious cognitive dissonance and zone out, or faint right off at the dual hotness.
9. I've seen Sense & Sensibility 16 times (and still have a mad crush on Col. Brandon).
10. I own thousands of books (yes, I have a book hoarding issue).

Okay, if you managed to get through that...enjoy rest and family and loved ones on this holiday weekend. And while you enjoy your leisure, and while I enjoy mine, let's please remember those who gave their lives for our freedoms (and the freedoms of other nations), and pray for the families of the fallen of our more recent wars.

A Summer of Self Challenge To Battle Complacency...An NSV..and Facing the Fact We're Food Junkies Who Have No Right To Our "Drugs" Of Choice...

Yesterday, I had 200 more calories than planned, but I did 1 hour of Pilates and 40 minutes of Playwalking. It helped make up for the ounce of queso blanco and the extra teaspoons of EVOO on my arugula salad.

Tanita-san: 200.8

ARGH. SO CLOSE! :)

It's the kind of thing that makes a gal wanna do liquid protein dieting. hahahah.

No, not quite.

Since Phase 6 is in full, liquid swing and Phase 5 seems to be in a coma, I just won't tag my posts as related to the challenge anymore. No one seems to care about P5 anymore. Let's call it defunct as Allan isn't taking weigh-ins or keeping the Phase 5 stats--with Elizabeth C the clear winner so far, and has anyone ever heard or seen a blog or comment from this person? I have wondered about her since she started doing so well. Anyway, odd that.

And, yeah, so....I'm still wanting my own challenge for this summer. (Debbi, are we still gonna do this thing?)

I want to challenge myself. I'm not at goal. I can't become complacent. We all go through that phase, the one that says hey, I did well and I feel great and I look better and heck...how about an extra serving of this or that.

I guess my challenge to myself may have to take new forms. I'm already eating as low calorically as I plan to. I am not into deprivation or VLCD. I have no objections to asceticism or liquid diets or VLCD. I just want to eat NOW the way I need to eat for life. I am  establishing my new way of eating for FOREVER..now.

This is life for me now, not just dieting: Eating less and fresher and moving more and in variety. I want to set into a groove NOw the habits I carry into maintenance. I really am establishing those habits, every day, making the choices more automatic every day. It's still work, although it's not anywhere near the work it was before.

It really is so much easier than when these challenges started for me in June of 2010 with SUMMER SLIMMIN' on my old blog. (That was the first challenge I was able to make some real loss, though only half of what I had at goal to lose. I was taking those hard initial steps toward change, real change, and I semi-failed, semi-succeeded.)

But it being easier, that's a great thing, but that can be a pitfall. It can lead to laxity.

I have been losing well, so I stopped tracking food. I mean, when you eat pretty much the same sorts of meals over a week in the same portions, you kind of start thinking, "Why bother."

One of my challenges this week is to re-bother. To track again. And for life, I will need to do this periodically. I think it reminds us that yes, those calories add up, and look, that day you had too little iron, and well, maybe you overdid the olive oil this day. Tracking is a totally useful and necessary thing when one embarks on a weight loss journey, I believe. Firmly believe. It's eye-opening. It's educational. It's accountability and knowledge combined. I mean, I don't eat any meal without at minimum mentally calculating calories or points (I sometimes default to points out of habit, the old points system which was about 50 cals per point.) I have to. For life. I have to know how much goes in, even if it's just a mental tally that I carry meal to snack to meal.

And as we become entrenched in a healthier eating and moving lifestyle, tracking (even if sporadic or periodic) is a way to check if we've gotten lazy with portions--spoonfuls, half-cups, cups, etc. It happens. I've read articles about it and I don't wanna be the "Lazy Portion Statistic Girl" who gained it back, small portion fudge by small portion fudge.

It's always the basics that I will have to hang on to like mad: Lots of water/fluids. Easy on salt. Forget sugar (or absolutely minimize). Quality REAL food. Good protein and colorful assortments of veggies above all, with fats and fresh fruit and cheese as flavor treats and nutrition helpers. Oodles of spices and no-sugar/no HFCS/no trans fats condiments to perk things up. Starches as rarities (for me, this is about me and my basics). Tracking periodically to make corrections. Exercise nearly daily, and with assorted exercises to keep the fun in working out. Finding non-food stress relievers. Joy and hope with everything. The basics for me...

I was a binge eater and chronic overeater. Inside me lurks that beast, I'm sure, ready to take any opportunity to revive itself and grab control.  The beast is in hibernation now--I haven't binged in about a year--and I want it to stay asleep. Some scoff at food addiction, but I don't. What pizza does to me is not a sane thing. It's like meth or coke and such to others.

My paper this morning reminded me of this by having a brief article that focuses on the Yale Rudd Center for Food Policy & Obesity. You probably read about the results released last month of one of their studies likening food addiction to drug addiction in how the brain responds. If you didn't see that one (though it was talked about in assorted online sites and blogs), here, read this.  

Women whose relationship to food resembles dependence or addiction -- those who often lose control and eat more than they'd planned, for example -- appear to anticipate food in much the same way that drug addicts anticipate a fix, according to the study, which used functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) brain scans.

When these women saw pictures of a chocolate milk shake made with Häagen-Dazs ice cream, they displayed increased activity in the same regions of the brain that fire when people who are dependent on drugs or alcohol experience cravings. When presented with the same milk shake, women who don't feel addicted to food showed comparatively less activity in those regions.

It wasn't news to me. I've experienced it. I've read similar studies highlighted in articles and books I've read, THE END OF OVEREATING for one.

I spent years perplexed by the animal-out-of-control that was my appetite. I'd weep after crazy  meals wondering why I could not stop. I'd wonder why I'd be hungry so often and feel not-full with normal quantities of food. I really felt like a junkie--totally obsessed, out of control, shaky with needs that were puzzling to me. "Why am I hungry all the time?" I'd wonder aloud to hubby and sis. "What is wrong with me?"

Well, it's not just me. We don't have an obesity epidemic cause it's "just me". It's a lot of us with issues. And if we expect alcoholics and drug addicts to seriously attack and fix their issues in order to be responsible citizens and not cause damage to their brains/bodies, then we need to see ourselves as addicts who have to be ruthless addressing our issues. Sorry, but the days of feeling sorry for ourselves have to end and the days of bucking up and rolling up our food sleeves and yelling "Just say No!" to the foods that trigger us have to begin.

Yes, I'm a recovering binge eater/food addict. I do not have the right to buy that cake or order that deluxe pizza or make that quadruple decker lasagna. I don't have the right because those are my drugs. And junkies shouldn't be buying/using drugs. I shouldn't be buying/cooking/eating my drugs. When I do, I am no better than the heroin user getting their dose or the alcoholic traipsing to the corner booze shop to get a few bottles of rum.

If the Meth Head doesn't/shouldn't be ingesting meth, then I shouldn't be ingesting Coke and deep dish pizzas. Only the legality is different in my eyes. The loss of control, the pleasure centers firing, the eventual damage to the body....I see it as really similar.

That's how I see it. It may not be how YOU see it, but if you are a binge-eater, a chronic overeater, morbidly obese/obese, and feel out of control around food, then baby, that's you, too. You need to look at your trigger foods as poison. As dangerous. As illegal.

Allan looks at those foods as contributing to fat cancer.

I see them as contributing to food addiction. To making me a junkie.

I don't want to be a junkie. I want to be sober and stay sober and live a live unshackled from the drugs that are advertised on tv and smell great on a drive to here and there and are offered at my loved one's homes.

Just say no, baby.

And what's that NSV from the post title? I tucked in my shirt yesterday. Yep. It's been a long time since I wore pants with the shirt tucked in. I mean, who wants to bring attention to an appley fat abdomen, blubbery waist, and lumpy ass? Seriously?

I still prefer shirts that cover skim the belly/hips area, but yesterday, I had a pair of yoga banded waist pants on, and the waist had a pretty trim, so I tucked in my camisole top. And went out like that. On errands. Then on my walk. Yep....I gots a waist now. And if the belly is still huge, too bad. I'm showing off my waist!

Be well ....do something that makes your life healthier today....