Tanita-san: 179.8
Up a little over half a pound.
At one point, after that extra meal late evening stupidapalooza diner visit on Thursday-- after perfectly navigating Thanksgiving proper with the fam--I was at 182.0.
I had allowed myself up to 184 in the refeeding program. But...honestly....
....yeah...I freaked a little bit when I saw 182.
Seriously, I gain at 1700. Daily caloric calculators and reality don't jive when you're metabo is effed up. BUT... I really gain at over 2000 (which was Thursday's final count, around 2200).
I wanted to be patient and let this system heal, but I keep telling myself "Um, I'm gonna go back to my normal 1400 plan." Then I tell myself, "But you got stuck eating low cal." Then: "But I'll get obese again refeeding at 1600, 1700."
I kept wavering back and forth. This is the story of my month.
RIGHT now, this instant, I want to go back to 1400/2 meals. In an hour I'll think: Stay with the high protein metabolism healing refeed.
Back and forth. I want to heal. I don't want to gain. I want to heal. I don't want to gain.
I already know what will happen if I go to 1200 again. I'll lose a bit, then stagnate as I do more metabo damage. I know it.
So, do I alternate 1200 days with 1600 days?
Where is that damn workbook???
Well, mini-freak aside when I saw 182--it was just a 10 second panic and then I calmed down and went about my day--I kept hoping I'd be miracle-healing girl, whose body would respond in weeks, not months or years....I thought I'd beat the odds, and rather than be patient like others have had to and let the body do its thing in due time, I'd shine.
I'm so ordinary. HAHAHAHA! No miracle girl. I didn't lose fast, like others. I don't heal fast. hah. My capacity for hope is huge, though. :D
I guess I'm impatient when I skim closer and closer to that line that demarcates obese from not-obese.
While my body has changed--the pics with the dress prove that--the scale is becoming a land of stagnant expectation.
I fear regain. I fear further metabo damage. I fear stagnancy somewhat less than both those options, and perhaps that's why I'm here.
Quandary.
Well, I am hoping the workbook and online group may give me insights on how to do this better--get leaner without compromising my system or the scale....I just am failing at it now. Impatience is not a virtue, but I want to see progress on the OTHER fronts, not just the dress going up the hips and on the bod. I want to see the 160s and I want to see my torso fat evaporating.
It's a weird thing to experiment on oneself. I did it before, finding a way to eat to help me lose.
Truth is, we become creatures of habit when habits worked well in one arena. I'm really happy to be at this weight. CRAZY HAPPY, which is why my freaks are short-lived, I guess. I'm still in Happyland.
And I want to say, "Just do it the old way."
But when I tried to do it the old way (high carb, low fat) dieting, it didnt' work for me. I did better against the rules/DNA. I did better with higher protein, lower carb, higher fat. So, my brain says, experiment again.Be that guinea pig. You've done things ONE way, have consequences, so shift gears to do things another way to repair and make way for more progress.
But...er...I want to see loss. I want to see scale progress, too, dammit.
Do I have the faith to continue the metabo program?
Er....I don't think so.
Well, as you can see, I'm really of a split mind. And I have no easy answer today, either.
This has all been a learning journey. It continues to be. It can be energizing and it can be frustrating.
I press on and try to find good footing again. What am I gonna do?
Hell I know. I'm still of two minds. One body, two minds. We'll figure it out somehow. And try not to freak in any but a small way.
I did want to address a couple of things from the comments by Caron and Angela:
Caron: Easy peasy for the cranberries. I used fresh organic berries, followed Melting Mama's basic sugar free recipe that she had on her blog last week, and used Truvia instead of sucralose (my usual sweetener). Everyone raved about it. I loved it. No guilt sauce. Berries, Truvia, water, cook up, pop-pop, 15 minutes or so, cool. Done.
Angela: Yeah, I know. I used to binge on utter crap. Now, I when I overeat or break plan, it's for more fruit or more protein or...as you saw, a spinach omelette and some cut melon. It's a whole different mindset--from binge on fast food to eat more spinach, eggs, fruit, etc. hahahah. It's nutritive. It was too much for my body (I simply can't handle a lot of calories, not even for my size, which is hardly waifish). But it's far better than hitting the sugar, processed, junk, gluten....for sure.
Keep at it, people. Keep fighting and believing. I do. As confused and ridiculous as I may come across right now, it's all part of the journey....we keep at it. NEVER QUIT.
Even if we have to change the ticker and lose a couple pounds on it. Ah, darn. I'll get that 121 lbs lost number back showing on the ticker again. (Angela, that clearer?)
Be well...
Now, to link up and see about breakfast.
Monday, November 28, 2011
Friday, November 25, 2011
When Smart Gals Do Dumb*ss Stuff...ah, well...But I Looked Curly Good!
I got through Thanksgiving and the games/fun afterwards on plan. I took my sugar-free baked apples, sugar-free (and amazing) cranberry sauce (organic, made from fresh berries, and it was the BEST I had in my life, no lie). I had oodles of veggies and good pile of white meat. Took lots of green tea to guzzle. Wore a shaper that was snug to keep me NOT super-filling up. :D
Done good!
And then on the drive home, hubby was hungry, we ended up at a diner at 10pm, and I had a spinach omelette and a fruit cup and decaf.
WTF?
Yeah, well. There you go. I also do stupid-ass diet things.
How does one get through the feast just fine and then ..."Oh, let me eat more!"
A reminder that strategy, for me, must be in place 24/7, not just at those times deemed "danger periods."
Well, we had fun. Unbelievably fine day--cool, low humidity, sunny, breezy.
I hope you had fun, too, and I hope you didn't do some late night noshing like me.
Oh, and me (curls are back) and hubby all spiffied up for the feast-we had a purple/pink/black theme:
Done good!
And then on the drive home, hubby was hungry, we ended up at a diner at 10pm, and I had a spinach omelette and a fruit cup and decaf.
WTF?
Yeah, well. There you go. I also do stupid-ass diet things.
How does one get through the feast just fine and then ..."Oh, let me eat more!"
A reminder that strategy, for me, must be in place 24/7, not just at those times deemed "danger periods."
Well, we had fun. Unbelievably fine day--cool, low humidity, sunny, breezy.
I hope you had fun, too, and I hope you didn't do some late night noshing like me.
Oh, and me (curls are back) and hubby all spiffied up for the feast-we had a purple/pink/black theme:
 |
| Thankful Princess and Prince |
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Thanksgiving: We'll Be Grateful Fatfighters on Friday if we have a Strategy TODAY for Thursday! Warrior Garb...ON!
Okay, still working on the protein/refeeding and it gets frustrating some days, but energy is high, mood is high, and I wake up wanting to dance. This..not so bad. :D
Tomorrow is one of those minefields for dieters. It just is. Last year, I did great and lost weight through the holidays, thanks to Allan's DDDY Challenge keeping me focused.
This year, it's up to me to keep me focused, and it's up to me to have my strategy in place.
As I am bringing a couple dishes, I choose to make stuff I can eat. Natch. My organic coop has green beans, yams, celery, carrots, raspberries, seckel pears, pumpkin squash, at least one herb (sage, thyme, etc), mushrooms, greens, cranberries, and granny smith apples, so making one cooked veggie and one crudite side along with some baked apples (walnut butter, cinnamon, bit of real butter) gives me some totally safe side and dessert options. (I'm keeping those wonderful seckels for myself, nom nom.) I will make no-sugar cranberry sauce...fresh and organic and good for me. Not the crap in cans that's processed to death and full of pancreas-destroying, glucose-spiking nonsense.
Baking apples is easy, tastes like apple pie without all the crap in apple pie. :D Win!
Side veggies fill you up. Go easy on the butter, go strong on the herbs. WIN!
If the salad veggies are great, make a beautiful salad and add all sorts of colorful things in it to make it pop. I may make a spinach, walnut, cranberry one. :D WIN!
Skip the bread. It's so ordinary. Unless it's a super-special, grandma-baked, never eaten any other time of the year, why use up those calories on useless, gluten-laden stuff? (And if you have gluten sensitivies, for Heaven's sake, be sane. Stop being a child and grow the damn up about food and stay away from the damn stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You will hurt yourself and lose years with your family, cause it will kill you. STOP IT!)
Eat at least one indulgent food in a small portion so you don't feel deprived-(whatever is your fave, be it the pumpkin pie or sweet tater casserole or mashed taters or green bean casserole) and fill up on turkey meat (hey, the breast is so low cal you can just pig out on THAT, sans the cranberry sauce which tends to be loaded with sugar.
I plan to fully enjoy white meat turkey, veggie sides, salad, and my apple bake. I don't plan to have bread. I will indulge in my fave traditional items in small amounts (like last year, where I had no more than 1/3 cup of each): sweet potato casserole, which my sister has been making sugar free, but with some lovely almond extract or Amaretto. It's worth every bite. And I plan to wear snug pants. I have them. They are really snug and if I try to overeat, they will hurt. Bought them snug just for this purpose.
Wear a girdle, if you must, to keep things TIGHT. :)
WHAT IS YOUR STRATEGY? Have one. Doesn't matter what you plan up, but have plans.
And calm down and choose BEFOREHAND. When faced with the array of temptations, that's when your armor will rust and fall apart if you didn't plan ahead.
I suggest for myself (and you):
Fill up on fluids and have a good breakfast to take the edge off. Have protein, veggies and fluids EARLY...to keep you from being famished while you cook/prep/greet/socialize.
At the dinner: drink water (2 cups) before eating. Sit and choose wisely. Remember that you can enjoy a couple bites of the indulgent stuff, savor it, but think of the consequences is you stuff up. You'll hate yourself Friday. NOT WORTH IT!
Dr. Berkeley, author of REFUSE TO REGAIN, whose practice helps people get and keep weight off, wrote a terrific article a couple years back to help folks cope with the holiday barrage. READ IT. It will help you with your planning.
Here are her strategy recommendations:
As Allan used to tell us, focus on the people.
Focus on the joys of the holiday. Focus on games, conversation, dancing. Focus on the big games or parades. Focus on good memories of times past. Focus on gratitude and enlarging your health so you can have many more holidays to come with those you love and who love you.
It's not about falling face first into a pile of food. It's about the GRATITUDE for the food that keeps us a live, for the family and for the friends who share the food with us, and for the freedom to work and pray and rest and eat in peace--for the life we have. IT"S NOT ABOUT PIGGING OUT AND BEING OUT OF CONTROL.
Make it HOLY--meaning leave the gluttony (a sin) out of it. Make it WHOLLY good, by feeling satisfied and having fun and remember to be thankful for the blessings in your life.
I have many blessings. I want to be in control with food and out of control with love. If you must choose to overindulge, overindulge in joy.
What is your high-joy, low-gluttony strategy for tomorrow?
Happy Thanksgiving, all, ....be well....
Tomorrow is one of those minefields for dieters. It just is. Last year, I did great and lost weight through the holidays, thanks to Allan's DDDY Challenge keeping me focused.
This year, it's up to me to keep me focused, and it's up to me to have my strategy in place.
As I am bringing a couple dishes, I choose to make stuff I can eat. Natch. My organic coop has green beans, yams, celery, carrots, raspberries, seckel pears, pumpkin squash, at least one herb (sage, thyme, etc), mushrooms, greens, cranberries, and granny smith apples, so making one cooked veggie and one crudite side along with some baked apples (walnut butter, cinnamon, bit of real butter) gives me some totally safe side and dessert options. (I'm keeping those wonderful seckels for myself, nom nom.) I will make no-sugar cranberry sauce...fresh and organic and good for me. Not the crap in cans that's processed to death and full of pancreas-destroying, glucose-spiking nonsense.
Baking apples is easy, tastes like apple pie without all the crap in apple pie. :D Win!
Side veggies fill you up. Go easy on the butter, go strong on the herbs. WIN!
If the salad veggies are great, make a beautiful salad and add all sorts of colorful things in it to make it pop. I may make a spinach, walnut, cranberry one. :D WIN!
Skip the bread. It's so ordinary. Unless it's a super-special, grandma-baked, never eaten any other time of the year, why use up those calories on useless, gluten-laden stuff? (And if you have gluten sensitivies, for Heaven's sake, be sane. Stop being a child and grow the damn up about food and stay away from the damn stuff!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You will hurt yourself and lose years with your family, cause it will kill you. STOP IT!)
Eat at least one indulgent food in a small portion so you don't feel deprived-(whatever is your fave, be it the pumpkin pie or sweet tater casserole or mashed taters or green bean casserole) and fill up on turkey meat (hey, the breast is so low cal you can just pig out on THAT, sans the cranberry sauce which tends to be loaded with sugar.
I plan to fully enjoy white meat turkey, veggie sides, salad, and my apple bake. I don't plan to have bread. I will indulge in my fave traditional items in small amounts (like last year, where I had no more than 1/3 cup of each): sweet potato casserole, which my sister has been making sugar free, but with some lovely almond extract or Amaretto. It's worth every bite. And I plan to wear snug pants. I have them. They are really snug and if I try to overeat, they will hurt. Bought them snug just for this purpose.
Wear a girdle, if you must, to keep things TIGHT. :)
WHAT IS YOUR STRATEGY? Have one. Doesn't matter what you plan up, but have plans.
And calm down and choose BEFOREHAND. When faced with the array of temptations, that's when your armor will rust and fall apart if you didn't plan ahead.
I suggest for myself (and you):
Fill up on fluids and have a good breakfast to take the edge off. Have protein, veggies and fluids EARLY...to keep you from being famished while you cook/prep/greet/socialize.
At the dinner: drink water (2 cups) before eating. Sit and choose wisely. Remember that you can enjoy a couple bites of the indulgent stuff, savor it, but think of the consequences is you stuff up. You'll hate yourself Friday. NOT WORTH IT!
Dr. Berkeley, author of REFUSE TO REGAIN, whose practice helps people get and keep weight off, wrote a terrific article a couple years back to help folks cope with the holiday barrage. READ IT. It will help you with your planning.
Here are her strategy recommendations:
1. The Old Scan and Plan: Don’t ever get caught in a corner. You should know what’s coming and have a plan to counterpunch. Imagine each holiday situation in as much detail as you can way before it ever happens. Plot a course through the food challenges. When the day comes, mentally check off each situation as you enact your plan. It’s your private game.
2. The Switcheroo: Everyone’s there for the food. Except you! Switch your reason for being at the dinner, family gathering, office party. You’re there to gather information by finding out at least one thing you never knew about five people in the room. You’re there to advance your career by finding someone at the party who can give you a lead. You’re there to see how many people you can get to ask you about your weight loss and how you did it. You’re there to change someone’s life by inspiring them to eat healther, be more like you. Set a goal. Keep track.
3. The Stare Down: For advanced maintainers only! For the true gladiator, there’s nothing more enjoyable than challenging yourself to a direct face-off with the food that used to control you. If you’ve passed the invisible barrier that separates maintenance junior (early maintainer) from SLIM (senior level maintainer), you might enjoy this trick, which is the equivalent of facing down a lion with nothing more than your expression. Go to the table, look at everything, and laugh. A good, loud, internal “HAH!” and a head toss help a lot.
4. The Dress for Success: Wear your best looking and most form fitting clothes. Let them talk to you as you negotiate that dangerous territory. The pressure of snug clothing will remind you of what your body has achieved and prevent you from filling up.
5. The Bring Your Own: A good trick for buffets, pot lucks and other challenges too. Bring a safe dish and make it something you can really load up on if there is little else that fits your rules. Generally, these clean, simple dishes go fast. After all, everyone recognizes healthy food…even if they don’t want to admit it.
As Allan used to tell us, focus on the people.
Focus on the joys of the holiday. Focus on games, conversation, dancing. Focus on the big games or parades. Focus on good memories of times past. Focus on gratitude and enlarging your health so you can have many more holidays to come with those you love and who love you.
It's not about falling face first into a pile of food. It's about the GRATITUDE for the food that keeps us a live, for the family and for the friends who share the food with us, and for the freedom to work and pray and rest and eat in peace--for the life we have. IT"S NOT ABOUT PIGGING OUT AND BEING OUT OF CONTROL.
Make it HOLY--meaning leave the gluttony (a sin) out of it. Make it WHOLLY good, by feeling satisfied and having fun and remember to be thankful for the blessings in your life.
I have many blessings. I want to be in control with food and out of control with love. If you must choose to overindulge, overindulge in joy.
What is your high-joy, low-gluttony strategy for tomorrow?
Happy Thanksgiving, all, ....be well....
Saturday, November 19, 2011
CDCC Update 10: Weight up...but look....Big Honking NSV with VISUAL PROOF that Sometimes The Scale Is An Ass (With Apologies to Dickens)
Tanita-san: 179.2
One pound up from yesterday. And I'm guessing the 1500 mg of sodium with din-din may be partly to blame, yes? But dang, those organic collards were amazing.
Still, I was surprised by that number. Why? I always feel my torso up before I get out of bed. A body check, as it were. And I felt...flatter. Smaller. Seriously....I expected a loss. I looked at myself naked in the mirror (my post body check ritual), and I looked "less than."
The scale said what?
So, I did a non-scale check. I got put on hot deep pinky red Principessa lipstick--it's 2 years old and still not rancid, go, you, Kevyn Aucoin!--for fortification, I put on my underwire plunge bra, then I got out my challenge dress that still didn't fit last month, which was the last time I tried it on.
My eyes were telling me my body was leaner.
The scale said I was pudgier.
Let's put it to the test.
FOR COMPARISON: On October 8th, more than a month ago, I was virtually the same weight. I was 179.6 when I made this post with pics of me trying to fit into the dress. It would not go up past my thighs.
So, today, at 179.2, wearing no shapewear--which I so, so need with a snug dress like this, what with all the loose skin/pannus/side and back saggies-- just regular cotton undies (not tight, comfy that I like to wear at home), I unbagged the dress. Will I get it on this time? Will it be an epic fail? Did my eyes deceive me? Is the scale right or are my hands and eyes right, and I'm different in some way....leaner at the same weight?
Well, I guess the header gave it away.
For the visual answer.....and forgive the dirty hair, haven't washed it since my blow-out last Thursday, cause I make those babies LAST.... and am due today for a nice deep conditioner treatment....Voila!
Same dress. Same weight. Different fit.
Yep. Visual proof.
Clearly, it's snug. But I can bend over and move in it. I figure about 7 to 10 less pounds of fat and it will look killer perfect. And with shapewear, natch.
What shapewear would YOU wear under this dress? I'm thinking a "wear your own bra compression slip" would be good, eh?
So, there it is. Same weight (nearly). Different body.
Exercise and protein. Makes a difference.
I had mentioned to Mr. Bailor (author of The Smarter Science of Slim) that I was concerned about the regain. He said, watch the body. The composition can change on the higher protein "smarter" diet, while the scale might not cooperate.
Might be true. We will continue to test this. :D
I will be putting the CDCC linky up in a bit. Please, challengers, update before midnight EST Sunday. Do it on time. Please!
Okay, later.
Try on your CDCC outfit. See if you made progress. And..be well, everyone!
One pound up from yesterday. And I'm guessing the 1500 mg of sodium with din-din may be partly to blame, yes? But dang, those organic collards were amazing.
Still, I was surprised by that number. Why? I always feel my torso up before I get out of bed. A body check, as it were. And I felt...flatter. Smaller. Seriously....I expected a loss. I looked at myself naked in the mirror (my post body check ritual), and I looked "less than."
The scale said what?
So, I did a non-scale check. I got put on hot deep pinky red Principessa lipstick--it's 2 years old and still not rancid, go, you, Kevyn Aucoin!--for fortification, I put on my underwire plunge bra, then I got out my challenge dress that still didn't fit last month, which was the last time I tried it on.
My eyes were telling me my body was leaner.
The scale said I was pudgier.
Let's put it to the test.
FOR COMPARISON: On October 8th, more than a month ago, I was virtually the same weight. I was 179.6 when I made this post with pics of me trying to fit into the dress. It would not go up past my thighs.
So, today, at 179.2, wearing no shapewear--which I so, so need with a snug dress like this, what with all the loose skin/pannus/side and back saggies-- just regular cotton undies (not tight, comfy that I like to wear at home), I unbagged the dress. Will I get it on this time? Will it be an epic fail? Did my eyes deceive me? Is the scale right or are my hands and eyes right, and I'm different in some way....leaner at the same weight?
Well, I guess the header gave it away.
For the visual answer.....and forgive the dirty hair, haven't washed it since my blow-out last Thursday, cause I make those babies LAST.... and am due today for a nice deep conditioner treatment....Voila!
Same dress. Same weight. Different fit.
Yep. Visual proof.
Clearly, it's snug. But I can bend over and move in it. I figure about 7 to 10 less pounds of fat and it will look killer perfect. And with shapewear, natch.
What shapewear would YOU wear under this dress? I'm thinking a "wear your own bra compression slip" would be good, eh?
So, there it is. Same weight (nearly). Different body.
Exercise and protein. Makes a difference.
I had mentioned to Mr. Bailor (author of The Smarter Science of Slim) that I was concerned about the regain. He said, watch the body. The composition can change on the higher protein "smarter" diet, while the scale might not cooperate.
Might be true. We will continue to test this. :D
CDCC Update:Calories: ranged between 1500 and 2000.Exercise: 2 Pilates sessions, 3 20 to 30 minutes dancing sessions.Fluids: fine.Support: I posted many a long-winded comment. Snarf.Mood: Fabulous.Book(s): Yep. Still reading and learning.Dress: Fits (snugly). Getting to the perfect fit by Xmas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I will be putting the CDCC linky up in a bit. Please, challengers, update before midnight EST Sunday. Do it on time. Please!
Okay, later.
Try on your CDCC outfit. See if you made progress. And..be well, everyone!
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