First Day (as Julie said), Clean Slate. Sore and Psyched! It's my choice. I choose to do it! WE CAN DO THIS!

Okay, so as the previous post explained, I'd been something of a mess with my eating off-plan.

Sunday: 184.8
Monday: 184.0
Today: 183.4

My saving grace yesterday after the truffle disaster was that I did 1 1/2 hours of exercise--strengthening, stretching, and walking.

Today, I'm nicely sore--especially inner thighs, back, upper abs, side.  This makes me happy. :D

Good timing for Gillian Riley's newsletter. It was in my inbox when I checked my mail. She has a new book, DITCHING DIETS, but it might simply be a recap of stuff she has in her other books, such as EATING LESS. If anyone knows whether this has new information and is worth Kindle-ing, let me know. (NOTE: I am adding this as I noticed it's a new version of BEATING OVEREATING, the book by Gillian with the orange cover. You may already have it. It may have new info, not sure, but the first 6 chapters have the same titles, so the basic info is surely identical to the "orange" book.)

For those who haven't visited her site or who want to get her newsletter, go here.

And for those who don't know what a meal plan that's calorie controlled might look like, here's an example of a 7-day plan, gluten free, at 1400 calories.

I want to make something clear. My 183 lbs now is not my 183 lbs a year ago, when I was working out. This is 183 lbs after 6 months of inactivity. Fat has replaced some muscle. My body LOOKS different naked. I'm lumpier in the waist and hips and my legs aren't as well-shaped with walking and Pilates muscle as they were a year ago at the same weight. I can feel and see the difference in my mirror. And yes, I do a "Nekkid Check" every day.

Here are pics in form-fitting wear I took an hour ago. The increased torso/belly girth and hip lump are evident:

These are my accountability photos. Sometimes, you just gotta LOOK and SEE. Like it or not.

I am well-stocked with goodies. Collards. Romaine. Strawberries. Blueberries. Kiwi. Yams. Lemons and Limes. Papayas. Broccoli. Nectarines. Cucumbers. Watermelon. Honeydew. Peppers. Apples. Decaf Green tea. Coffee. New refill filters for the water pitcher that I got back when I needed to drink gallons for Allan's challenges. I've slacked on water intake, ya know?

I have chicken breast defrosted for supper.

I do need to visit the store for some of my pastured eggs, organic egg whites, turkey, mushrooms, shredded low fat cheese for my breakfast eggs and salads, Greek yogurt, baby spinach, potatoes, tomatoes, celery, and carrots. Maybe some rainbow chard and baby bok choy, both of which I really like lightly sauteed.

With that, I'll be well-stocked against temptations. It's best to have the house overflowing with GOOD options, to cut back on the lure of bad ones.

My hope is that  Sunday's weigh-in will make me smile. Anything lower on the scale and higher in motivation is welcome, right?

Right. I can do this. I really can.

WE CAN DO THIS.

WE REALLY CAN!!!

OK, let's kill it today. We believe. We move. We choose properly. WE CHOOSE. Remember that

Every bite and every sip and every step--we choose it. We decide it's what we'll do or not do, eat or not eat. WE CHOOSE.

Be well...

Scale Pic and Forming Goals for 2013, and some advice for the Big Gals (and Guys) out There New To Blogging for Weight Loss

Here is what I saw on Tanita-San today after I woke up, peed, and stumbled to the back room where I keep the scale:

Christmas red on toes, lower number on scale.

I hopped on the scale a few times, which I always do to confirm the number. You can see the same number came up twice: 181.4 .

It was 183.2 yesterday (see previous post), so the excess fluid from my holiday salty foods frenzy is...flowing out.

This puts me at a total loss of 118 pounds. Not my lowest number. Still out of the obese range, yay. 

I don't like being in the 180s again. Not at all. My plan last year when I decided to move into MAINTENANCE had been to maintain in the 170s. Anywhere in the 170s, but preferably in the middle to lower ranges, sure. Just THAT weight "decade."

 So, immediate goal is to get back into the 170s. Healthfully. With good nutrition. No crash diets. I don't care if it's slow. I don't want to end up with micronutrient deficiencies which impact a lot of my health issues.

Ultimate goal for this season (ie period from January to end of March) is to rebuild muscle, get back walking habit (at least 3x a week) and get to 171. That's 10 pounds.

I will add that losing 10 pounds is not easy for me. It's easier when one is big-big, though even for big me, losing 1 to 2 pounds a week required quite a lot of discipline. I was the laggard in Allan's challenges (though I stuck out the ones I joined to the end). So, 3.3 pounds a month --or roughly under 1 pound a week--is going to mean I have to focus a lot on my calories. Watching, adding, monitoring, curtailing. And burning some off. Though I find consumption matters more than exertion. What I eat affects the scale the most.

Exercise, though, affects how I feel and how my clothes fit. I see more muffin top with my abdominal and back muscle depleted. I hate that. But keeping muscle takes work, just as building it takes work. It doesn't happen by wishing.

The sad truth about weight for those of us who were formerly obese/morbidly obese/severely morbidly obese/super-obese is that weight comes back at alarming speed and goes down with reluctance.

Granted, some folks hold tons of water and those first weeks on a diet make for a beautifully satisfying whoosh of 7 or 10 or more pounds. Not me. I am not that level of water-hoarder. But that's mostly fluid, and the business of burning fat is always harder. And the closer to goal weights we get, that much harder. Sometimes, maddeningly hard.

I'm here to tell you maintenance is tough. I've seen a host of blogging pals drop out of sight when they couldn't keep the weight off. I don't wanna do that. I want to say, here I am, with some regain, aiming to stop it and get back in maintenance range.

A bit of advice from someone with a near-lifelong weight struggle who used blogging and online aids to finally make progress (and I hit 303 lbs on my doc's scale in 2004, for reference):

If you're  big or very big and starting on your weight loss journey this year, please be accountable on your blog. BE ACCOUNTABLE. It's the main reason I began THIS blog, stopped the old one, and focused on goals and numbers and photos and self-examination and challenges. 

Accountability means you put it out there and try to figure out how to solve the problems. It's hard. It's often embarrassing . 

(See my Phat Pilates pics--click on tab link under the blog header-- if you want to see EMBARRASSING! It was really hard for me to post those when I was huge-huge and clumsy and sweaty in tight clothes and messed up hair.)

Don't use the blog just to wax eloquently or awkwardly about your ordinary life stuff. That won't cut it. That won't help you. 

Make specific goals. DAILY GOALS. WEEKLY GOALS. MONTHLY GOALS. SEASONAL GOALS. ANNUAL GOALS.  Let the community know if you met goals or failed to meet them. Examine why you can't make a breakthrough. Read. Study. Introspect. Ask folks to kick you in the butt when you grow lax. Support others as a way to support yourself, too. Sometimes, reading others doing the same things you are --good or bad--has a wonderfully motivating effect.

But weigh and plug those numbers in. Put them out there. Defuse them and make them just measures. MEASURES of lack of or wonderful progress. Don't expect 4 pounds a week (unless you're male and huge or female and huge and really active). Just make reasonable, attainable goals and, if you do not quit, if you persist, you will see progress.

One pound a week is 52 pounds a year In two years, that's 104 pounds.
One-half pound a week is 26 pounds a year, 52 pounds in two years.
Two pounds a week is 104  pounds in one year, 208 in two.

Consistency is the key. You can lose 26, regain 30. You can lose 80, regain 50. You can lose 200, regain 200.

What you want, and what I want, is to lose and keep it off.

The odds of success are slight. Google it. Very few keep off large amounts of lost weight.

So, focusing on the quickie crash diet that gets off 10 pounds in 2 weeks will leave you nowhere if you gain it back, and odds are you WILL regain it.

You have to learn what you like and what is nutritious and what contains your large appetite or urges to snack unhealthfully. You have to figure out what works for your body and, if present, medical conditions. You may need to see a dietitian. Or a doctor. You should read and educate yourself. You should visit blogs of folks who lost weight and KEPT it off for a year plus. The ones keeping it off 5 years plus. They have learned something.

VICTORY in 2013!

Find a buddy. Keep a journal (or a blog journal). Be honest. Don't run away and hide when it's tough. Find people who won't stop telling you to keep at it. Join challenges with kind people who believe in TOUGH LOVE, ie. they don't clap at your failings or enable you, but they do offer a hand when you need to get back up and walk on. Flabby love lets you get away with anything, buys lame excuses. REAL love wants the best for you and will speak firmly to you, refusing to allow you to wallow and not make progress. Real love says, "Stop that. It's hurting you!"

Always choose what helps, not just what feels good. What helps. What profits. What is good. What builds you up on your journey. Choose that.

It's gonna be hard. But it's worth it in so many ways to try and try with a fully committed spirit and heart and mind.

Really, you don't have to get skinny. You just have to get OUT of obesity--being overweight may not be as bad as previously thought, though being obese is still a bad thing-- and get stronger which will be useful in daily activities and protective of health as you and I age. And keep learning. Believe you have the power to do it. Every day, tell yourself you are ABLE.

AND NEVER QUIT.

Happy Thursday. The third day of a new year. Be well...

First Post of 2013: Accountability, Word of the Year, Photos, and Recommitment

Ah, 2012 was rough on me in its last couple months. Well, it was a bit rough from the end of June on. Less income meant the loss of my personal trainer. Illness set me back in other ways. But this is a new year, with a new word, and a recommitment to a vision to let go of what holds me back and grab hold of those habits and people and events and things that  push and drive and yank me toward my goals.

So, some stats, cause accountability to me means NUMBERS, not just words.

On New Year's Eves past, I weighed thusly:;

2009: 267 lbs
2010: 234 lbs
2011: 183 lbs

I don't have stats kept for a lot of years, but I was in the 270s for several NY Eves prior to that.

This New Year's Eve: 182 lbs

On Dec 30, I was 178.8. A series of salty foods played havoc, so that by New Year's Day, I was 185, until I peed a couple times, then 183. So, the scale was all over the high 170s and low 180s for the end of the year.

The good news: I ended up with a net loss of ONE pound since last NY Eve. I maintained, basically. And that's fine.

The bad news: Back in the 180s and a lot of muscle loss. A LOT. I cannot tell you how easy it is  to be a couch potato again and lose muscle. Very easy. Very scarily easy. And I'm ashamed of getting out of good habits. That means that this 182 lbs is fattier and less lean than last year's. Urk.

So, what habits dropped off since November when I got ill:

1. 10 glasses of water a day
2. exercising at least 5 days a week
3. praying over my day's food goals upon awaking
4. blogging to keep myself motivated

So, with 2013 seeing me at a higher weight than my lowest in 2012, I must work on--work on diligently--at getting back good water, portioning, and positive focus habits.

Accountability to me is also about photos. I posted photos last NY Eve. Here are shots from New Year's Day. We didn't dress up or leave the house NY Eve, but we got together with family yesterday. These are at me at 183 lbs on the scale--both last year's pic and this year's shots.

kinda fun headless shot

Excuse the lousy posture, hah, I was repositioning..awkwardly, clearly.

I love red (to wear). Cool red. Warm red. This is an orange red. Compare to me wearing an earthy red years ago:

At about 80 or 90 lbs more than previous shots and next pic.

And this is NY Eve last time, 2011, 183 lbs

I'm grateful for another year. My health is not as vibrant today as it was one year ago. Exercise, right foods, proper rest, lowering stress--it all has an affect on appearance. I see my face DROOPIER since 6 months ago. My loss of good habits has taken a toll in many ways.

Well, that's my accountability.

Now, for my word of the  year: RELEASE

I put a pic on the left sidebar representing "release" to remind me of it anytime I check the blog.

I had  "open doors" as my phrase last year, and it's interesting that my husband began to work for a company that has "Open" in the title, and that I began to open myself to a new group (new church) and new ideas (restarted writing). I am continuing my "openings" this year--and NEED to-- but RELEASE is most appropriate for various reasons that I won't get into now.

I hope you have a vision for this year. If you made goals and want to hold on. If you didn't make goals and are going to work toward them. If like me you took some steps BACKWARD and want to recoup the good things set aside.

Never quit. Find the solution. Keep going with faith in the human power to change. Persist with hope. 

HAPPY NEW YEAR, my dears.

May 2013 be peaceful and blessed for us all, and may we make strides to grab hold of good things, including more healthful habits and a more vibrant life.

God bless...and be well...