Day 17 of 84 in the StSC: Another "decade" says hi to me, and I try to answer the "How Do I Get Started Losing 100 Pounds" question, though it's one all of you should help answer, I think...

Tanita-san: 189.6

OMG. I'm fewer than 5 lbs away from NOT BEING OBESE. ::::mad laughter::::

New weight "decades" are always fun. Getting in is exciting. Working to get out and down to the next is motivating. I weigh nearly daily for this reason. I want to see how close I'm getting to the next milestone. (Well, and if I had too much salt or too many carbs the day before. It's a marker for me of those.)

I spent the good part of yesterday weepy and sad, so no blogging. I did visit some challenger blogs and pal blogs to say "hey" but really, my heart was aching. I don't like arguing with my sister. I took a "space day" and didn't call or contact her, cause I was afraid I'd just start bawling again and say something incredibly stupid in my pain.

And I'll add, I did not dive into food on Monday or Tuesday. The good fight I fought Father's Day night paid off. The reins didn't get dropped, they just slacked on Sunday. They were still right in my hands all along.

Today, I got a really moving card from her. And I started bawling. hahaha. I am such a sentimental dork. But it's gonna be okay. As long as there is love, you make it out okay.

This likely applies to this whole weight loss gig, too. When I started letting myself believe that I was not hopeless, when I started to love myself enough to want better health and energy and appearance for myself, it was easier to move into more progress. I had hated myself, LOATHED myself, for so much of my earliest life and even into my later years, when incapacitating illness just wrecked my optimism and what self-esteem I'd scraped together. When you loathe yourself, you don't care what goes in your mouth or how it deforms your body or what it does to your lifespan. Dying early can be appealing when self-loathing and depression are your constant companions.

A good man's love rescued me. Family love kept me going. Love of friends, love of God. I mean, I really believe that at the core, if we don't have love, why bother being alive?

So, loving myself a bit more means doing good things for myself, and this blog is part of that.

ANYWAY, I got an email from a lurker asking this:

I'm not sure you'll have time to answer this, but do you have a "getting started" link somewhere on your current blog? I have 100 lbs to lose, and it's difficult to know where to begin.  I would love to know what you read/did first in your journey that got your head in the game, so to speak.

I don't really have a comprehensive "getting started" post, though I know that here on this blog, since last September, I've posted about things that gave me epiphanies and how everyone's journey to those epiphanies are different.

I struggled since I first made my decision as a morbidly obese woman to give weight loss a real, public, accountable effort. STRUGGLED. Setbacks. Stalls.

But I started my old blog in May of 2007, and it was just years of bumbling and learning and reading other fatfighting blogs and trying things (vegetarian, raw vegan, delivery meals, dietitians, spiritual work). Sometimes, some of us, have to put in a lot of groundwork and failed attempts before whatever is supposed to click, clicks.

BUT...aside from the reading/learning/getting professional help--and yes, in 2008, even when my food was still not in proper low-cal control to lose weight, when I was just MAINTAINING a modest loss of 20+ pounds, I began to exercise regularly at 278 lbs, Pilates, with a trainer, lots of moolah, ouchie--the key was I never fully gave up. Shoot, I even researched bariatric surgery. Part of me was determined not to be an OLD OLD FAT LADY. I'm already old enough. I didn't wanna be a morbidly obese senior rotting in some home with diabetes.

But if there's one link on this blog I can offer, it's THIS ONE. 
It's probably companioned with THIS ONE. My first two rules of weight loss. ; )

Because I'm an INTJ personality type, it was reading science studies, web sites, and books on overweight issues, in conjunction with following blogs with clear and concrete info on how people addressed their emotional eating/binge eating and what meals they ate and how they structured their days/meals--that penetrated my brain almost every day, fed my intellect, and when my brain is fed, then the other parts of me respond.  I needed knowledge and proof it was doable. Blogs of successful losers of 100+ pounds= proof.

And then the summer of real DECISION (see that first link above on my rule of weight loss) was last summer. That's when it clicked and I began to make REAL progress. It was a cluster of things--a blog weight loss challenge, certain books, certain blogs--that flipped my switch.

I read books last year that each helped me along the way:  THE END OF OVEREATING;  REFUSE TO REGAIN; BEATING OVEREATING; WHY WE GET FAT; SWITCH...

I read books this year --and AM reading books--that helped and still help me refine my individual program for fat loss and fitness: THE NEW EVOLUTION DIET; THE PALEO SOLUTION; THE PERFECT HEALTH DIET

I also read spiritual books to address my issues. Gluttony and sloth are spiritual issues. Craving. Self-esteem. Depression. Lack of self-control. These all can have spiritual dimensions, be outgrowths of spiritual wounds. I addressed that, too. Bible being number one. :) The Desert Fathers and Mothers, those grand ascetics, being a reminder of how self-indulgent our society is.

This is why I encourage people to read, talk, follow successful bloggers, do introspection, see professionals--even if it strains your budget, cause if you get some dire disease from being obese, what good is your retirement account gonna do you--and experiment.  Other people have done it. So, BELIEVE you can do it.

Faith is a component that is essential. BELIEVE YOU CAN. Fake the belief that you can with affirmations until you do believe it.

I saw dietitians, got a trainer, read books up the wazoo, asked for family support, got anointed and prayed for,  tried low carb, got a DNA test for ideal diet for my genes, tried high carb/low fat, tried delivery low-salt low cal, tried vegetarian, tried vegetarian delivered meals, tried meditation, used prayer, tried visualization and affirmations. I did not give up. I may have spun my wheels on my blog for 3 years before something clicked, but I was always fertilizing the ground for something to grow. I never gave up.

Then I made a decision. And I still tweak, read, and learn. But I don't look back.

Last summer, something clicked...and the click got stronger with the DDDY Challenges and my own reading into Evolutonary/Paleo/Primal/Primarian eating styles and experimenting with no grains/low-moderate carbs and finding it left me with lower appetite and higher energy.

Last September, I started this new blog to be clearer with goals and openly, photographically, numerically ACCOUNTABLE. No hiding.

I suggest you start a blog. Post a before pic: block out your face if you  need privacy. Use a nickname to hide your real identity if you need to. But BE VISIBLE. You will be happy to see the before/after to compare. Give your actual starting weight. Make a weekly loss goal and a monthly loss goal and a seasonal loss goal and an annual loss goal. Account to your readership and yourself. Share insights. Share difficulties.  I am a big believer that once you put it out there and people can call you on it, you make yourself more motivated from that. It's embarrassing to post a gain, sure. But it's exhilirating to post a loss and have others celebrate with you. It's embarrassing to fail. But that embarrassment can be a spur to stay on your plan and SUCCEED. This is what I'm hoping this blog is for me. A tool to help me succeed. It's working. It's my journal. I can vent. I can learn. I can dialogue.

Maybe it will help you get started if you open a blog TODAY with those goals and hopes and before pic and starting weight. :)

And if my photos, numbers, blogs, successes and setbacks help YOU, then yours will help someone else. You might change someone's life. :D

I never understand the folks who won't post a number. It's a number. Hiding it gives it more power, not less. Hiding means shame. Forget shame. It's a number, like shoe size. Defang it by publicizing it and make yourself accountable with goals that people can say, "Oh, you did it!" and celebrate, or give advice and help when you have falls.

That's not for everyone. But I found public accountability hugely motivating and liberating.

So, what can get you started losing 100 pounds. Ask yourself those questions on my left sidebar from the Unleashing The Warrior Within.     Take a hard look at the necessary sacrifices that must be made to comfort and indulgence. If food is your comfort, stress relief, or master, then accept you're gonna suffer breaking the bond and roll up your sleeves and get into the battle. You will suffer. You will give things up--some for LIFE. You won't be able to sit back and down that pint of ice cream or dive into pizza for solace or pleasure. You will have to get up and move your body, whether you feel like it or not. Until you come to ENJOY it (and many of us have).

And you will have to accept that old habits never fully die, and if you indulge those old habits again, you lose some battles and maybe the whole war.

You make a decision. You sit down and plot out goals and what steps you take to get to them based on your ability/budget/preferences/medical conditions/support types. You have to have goals, and you have to keep an eye on them daily. You may go hungry some days. You may wanna give up others. But you remember the commitment. It's like a marriage: you're in it for life (one hopes). You attend to it every day. You recommit as needed. You forgive as needed. 

That's how you start. You realize it's gonna be AWFUL at first maybe, then less awful, then you feel your mastery grow and it feels good. And when the wind's at your back, it feels amazing.

Hope that helped, lurker.

And I hope the others who read this blog and are in challenges and have made progress in their journey to lose 100 pounds (more, less), will chime in on how to start. Help our lurker out, would ya? :)

Be well....I gotta go call my sis...

Salt/Low-sleep uptick, which will be gone, soon, no worries. And some pics of pre-and-post Easter feast and a quickie fix for the too big t-shirt so you can use it a bit more, fasting workouts continue......on Day 77 of Phase 5

What a lovely Easter. The day was sunny, warm, and pretty. I wore a dress for the first time in...I honestly can't remember.

Today, Tanita-san shows a 1 lb uptick to 207.2. I know what this is. This is sodium and this is lack of sleep.

1 Sodium: I cook with no added salt EXCEPT on meats and chicken (I hate animal flesh sans salt. Ugh. Some, not a lot.) But Easter's brunch, we had ham and roast Cuban-style fresh ham (pernil, we call it). Both have salt. I also had an ounce of Manchego cheese. My contribution to the feast was a large organic vegetable tray and a large organic fruit tray. The veggies were numerous and I had plenty. The fruit was delicious, and it served as my dessert.

I had no fried stuff (alcapurrias).
I had no bread or crackers.
I had no corn pudding.
I had no sugary crap--candy or flan. (And I adore flan.)

I had 1 tablespoon of a no-sugar, low-carb custard my sister made for me. Very light and subtle. No sugar rush. I have the leftovers home to enjoy after supper for a couple days.

And two days of not-enough sleep. That always does things to scale/progress. But, I am back on undistracted track. I have an MD appt tomorrow, which does mess with my sleep schedule, but I'll try to get as much as possible. I also had my Pilates session today, and it was great. New stuff. Progress. Trainer happy with the less fat in ONE WEEK noticeable in my abdominals.

But...back to Easter Sunday:

After I ate and chatted and digested a bit, I changed into workout wear and played ball and Frisbee. :D  Not calling it exercise. Calling it PLAYING. And it was fun. Sweaty fun that made my heat rash worse. I slathered cream on it and kept going.

Here are pics of me before the feast and after the outfit change:

Colorful for Easter

Sporty for Easter

Activity is now my normal mindset. I try to add it to every day in some way. Even holidays. Plus, let's face it. If you have kids in your family, kids like to play/run/throw/jump/climb. If you bring out a ball/frisbee/net/shuttlecock/puck/stick/bat, they're gonna wanna do something with it WITH YOU. So, have lots of gear handy and have fun with them.


Okay, time to walk. Sun is low and my poor rashy arms get a break from strong direct sunlight. If like me you are getting smaller and not able to wear a lot of your stuff (another big bag of clothes got donated yesterday and I have oodles to go), here is a quickie solution for t-shirts:

1 knot, 1 too-big tee wearable

Yep. Just a knot to the side and it's kinda fun wearing it this way. Makes your butt look pretty decent, cause it's longer in the back, hugs it a bit, and makes it not a slouchy, frumpy mess.

And to close, this week continues the fasting workout experiment. I went in to Pilates on a coffee-n-water only tummy. No loss of energy. Last week, I took a pic of me drinking some iced black tea (made fresh, made dark for caffeine) before my fasting-walk:

Drinking tea pre fasting-workout

I have leftovers in the fridge for supper (shredded BBQ chicken with salad fixings and fruit) and a bunch of new workout clothes (DANSKIN NOW and Just My Size stuff from Walmart. Cheap and useful for when size changes rapidly. :) AND I got COLORS. Woooo.)

Yes, colors. I wore radical pink to Pilates with light grey shorts (not black on black).

Enjoy your evening, have a sound meal, if you didn't move today, take a nice walk or do something in front of the TV. Rest well....be well...

Day 57 of Phase 5: Back to Basics (which is always good periodically) Because It Is Easy For Fires To Go Out When Plateaus Hit...and I Don't Intend to Let This Fire die! AKA The Royal Game Plan for Not-Freaking During the Plateau...And a mini-rant on the DIVAFICATION of RUBY....

My official weigh-in for Phase 5 Sunday was 215. Stasis as far as the official number. A .2 lbs gain from last week's weigh-in. I'm plateaued.

When I plateau, I look at what's going on and if there is a fixable issue, I work on it. Here's what's going on:

I am using steroid creams (rash), increased my inhaled steroids (asthma, allergies), am using steroid eye drops (allergies), and added steroid antifungal ear drops (ear infection from, yes, allergies). While this is not the same steroid load as when I routinely took prednisone (egads, that sucked monkeybutt), it is absorbed into my body and it's coming from various sources (eyes, ears, skin, lungs, nasal lining). I suspect this is part of what's causing me issues.

I am also just fighting the multiple inflammatory processes that just sprang up like demons heading for spring break on my body.

Because I had some days when I just could not fathoming exercise, due to, well, not breathing much, I exercised less last week.

I'm starting to feel some relief. My rash is not driving me ubernuts with itching and scaliness. My ear pain is reduced. My nose is slightly less congested. My bronchii are a bit better, although when I exert too much, it induces an attack (which when I'm fine and dandy is not an issue unless I do stuff like, well, sprinting or superhard no-rest kind of stuff).

I want to see a loss this week. I intend to see a loss this week. So, I'll be hoping my body stops vexing me.

Meanwhile, to not lose motivation or hope or get frustrated and do something stupid (like, yes, binge), I am going back to basics.  As many of you know, as you go along on an eating regimen of lower calories, you develop a number of set, useful, controlled meals--yeah, I do have set repetitive meals, meals I have measured, gotten used to, prepare quickly, are on my R.D. plan, and are no-brainers, like my veggie-egg whites plus fruit breakfast or my roast chicken breast with lightly sauteed or steamed veggies and herbs-- and I stop measuring event hose cause, well, you get used to it. I think it's those situations prone to portion creep. So, back to MEASURING and WEIGHING even the usual meals.

Today, it was that-- back to measuring. This is just to reinforce the habit of portion control once more.

I had gotten slack with journaling. I'd do maybe a few days out of the week. Not all. Again, this is something we tend to do when we're used to smaller meals and sort of eyeball what's on the plate.

Today, it was back to SparkPeople. Back to putting in every bite and spoonful and cupful and pat and sip.

I had NOT felt like blogging. I hadn't much felt like visiting blogs or commenting.

Today, I made sure to  read some fellow fatfighters, comment on some blogs, and now do my blog post. I do think the staying in a blogging habit is a way to focus the mind ON THE GAME. Motivation can flag too easily. I don't want to flake.

My chest still feels like there's a critter sitting on it. But it's not a tiger anymore. It's a fat cat. So, me and the fat cat will be walking...

I went to Pilates and had a hard time in some positions (for asthmatics, sometimes it's hard to push the air OUT..and it sort of gets stuck, and more fresh air can't really get in, and this is a bad thing, yes). But I pushed on. Talked to the trainers about my plateau, and one recommended more cardio. I mentioned that for me, it's a very fine line between enough cardio (which makes me feel invigorated and energetic) and too much (which makes me crazy hungry and a bit grumpy). For now, I said, I'll wait a bit and see if things move. If they don't, then I'll consider increasing by 5 minute increments or slightly increasing pace, and see. All of it is a "let's see" for me. Don't wanna make things worse--not the breathing, the bad knees/ankle, or the appetite.

Next point: Weighing. I like to do it daily to keep tabs on my fluid retention.

I'm afraid if I get on the scale too soon and don't see it budge, I'll do something immature and stupidbutt like freak and head  in 1 of 2 bad directions: 1. go on a whey fast and not eat real food for a week just to see movement on Tanita-san or 2. stuff my mouth full of whatever crap is handy just to quell the brain turmoil.

I'd rather just wait a few days or wait until the official weigh-in day and not precipitate some crazy dieter reaction. I'm not prone to crazy reactions often. But it has happened. I'm too happy being binge-free for 3/4 of a year+ to do anything to sabotage myself. So, my scale junkie needs to chill.

Next Issue: Affirmations-- I still like to rah-rah myself. But I've slacked off. My mood hasn't been as cheerful and beautiful due to being sick. So, today, I rah-rahed. and I'm gonna be doing a lot of the pom-pom waving to get the psychological circulation up and revved. I sometimes feel really stoooopid affirming myself, but I figure it's part of keeping the right mindset. So, I do it. Feeling stoopid is a small price to pay for preventing slippage into Gloom and Doom Town:


I can do it!
This is not bigger than me.
My body will respond!
I am strong! Stronger than fat!
My appetite serves me, not me it! I rule!

I plan to reread parts of my fave books--poetry, dieting, self-help, spiritual--as a way to keep my spirit up. I enjoy JOY too much to let sickness or a plateau take it from me.

I really do believe that proper actions will and must eventually yield positive results. I'm gonna reinforce basic good habits that got a bit lax as the challenge went on (measuring, journaling, affirmations) and not let this hyper-reactive immune system of mine roadblock me. Ain't gonna happen.

My eyes are on a prize, and that prize isn't NYC with the Kleins and a Christmas Tree....my eyes are on the number 186. The number at which I won't be obese anymore.

So, screw the plateau! I'm lighting fires left and right and this fat old antiquated barn is gonna burn down to a sleek modern cottage with WiFi and craftsman details.

The Princess will not be deterred...and this fat is gonna lose the siege...and this Challenger is gonna win, if not the DDDY-P5 prize,  the war...

Update: Back from walk. 32 mins at a nice clip. Lovely evening with a wispy shy smile of a moon. Gorgeous sky and breeze. Happy! See, this is great for mood issues! A sweet breeze, a gentle moon, the rustle of palm trees, the fragrance of gardenias...how could I be grumpy? Sparkpeople says that my bkfst/lunch/snack have totaled 850 cals. That leaves 350 for supper. Okay. Doable!  4 more glasses of water to go to reach my fluid requirements for the Challenge. So doable. I'm off...nitey.... 

Update 2: RUBY is annoying me like nobody's business. I wanna slap her. And then I remember it's a reality show no longer in it's first season and she's probably used to the attention of all those trainers and counselors and camera folks and is becoming more of a diva....or she wants to create fake drama for ratings. Whatever. She's a whiny pain. Someone please remind her how fortunate she is to be making a good living from people helping her get healthy and slimmer! How many of us get multiple trainers and plush locations in which to work out? I'd have loved to do that obstacle course on the beach, even with my crap knees and bad ankle. It was a specially created course for her, with professionals begging her to try, and she just bitches and says they're mean. Oh, please. Spoiled brat is what she is. She needs to listen to her show's theme song a few times: "I can if I think I can...I can!" Lately, she's a lot of "I can't." And I wonder, really wonder, if it's fake/acting for conflict for viewers? Or is she really just a brat?  

I'm not the only one annoyed with her.

I may stop watching the show altogether....or I may continue to see if RUBY looks around, realizes the shining moment she's been given to get healthy and slim, and grows the F up, stops whining, and finds her inner warrior at last.

Day 7 Son of DDDY Challenge: We're moving on DOWN the road...and I must have estimated those date night calories right! The fear of upcoming food cues in certain location with "history"...and itchy eyes suck...oh, and food / water log...including fab dinner out in MiMo with Another Pic of me happy there!

Tanita-San says: 246.2

There we go. Two days showing lower numbers. Muchly pleased.

One-fifth of a pound to no-longer-morbidly-obese territory. Muchly pleased.

Eyes itch like the mother. Not pleased. Allergies still plaguing. We've had some beautiful days and the only thing that keeps me from being OUT THERE enjoying them more is the super-itchiness that results. Oh, well. I should be used to this. A lifetime (and I do mean a whole fricken LIFEtime) of having to carry boxes of tissues and itching and wheezing. Should be used to it. Never fully am. Thank God for the meds that make me function, otherwise I'd be an allergy-respiratory cripple wheezing in bed (and that's no exaggeration, spent 4 years that way in the early 90's). I put in my Patanol drops just now so I could stop rubbing eyes enough to type. Now, I have dark circles from rubbing. Sheesh.

Today I'll be at a hospital down south with family (surgery for nephew). I am fearing the food cues. My mom spent a lot of time in that hospital by the bay. Weekly visits to a hematologist for years. Weekly blood transfusions for years. Me stuffing my face and gaining 35 pounds in 8 months from stress. I was familiar with that cafeteria and snack bar, I can tell you.

Now that I am more familiar with how my brain works/cues/stimuli, I really am afraid what's gonna happen when I walk in and smell the smells and see the landmarks, etc. So, this is mental preparation time. Need to take my snacks. Need to drink water (after I'm out of traffic). Need to chill. Need to believe in myself.

Okay, onto the comida y agua portion of this post:

BREAKFAST:
WS hot cakes with Nature's Hollow sugar-free syrup & cinnamon
2 oz natural applesauce
1/2 cup egg beaters with 1/2 cup mushrooms
2 tsp Smart Balance and 1 slice 2% Cheddar
2 cups coffee
8 glasses water (4 before, 2 during, 2 after)
Calcium, D, Multivitamin, Quercetin, Bromelain, Fiber supplements

SNACK: 2 glasses of water before heading out

Calories so far: 440
Fluids so far: 96 oz

LUNCH:
cup of decaf (12 oz) w Sweet n Low (hospital cafeteria had no Splenda, dangit)
(had to run to bathroom as soon as I entered hospital, went twice more in the next couple hours without drinking extra water).

I took several low-carb snacks and 2 bottles of water, but didn't have them. Had that decaf.

Calories so far: 440
Fluids so far: 108 oz

DINNER: On the way home, had to stop cause I was pissing my pants. Had dinner at a restaurant in the historic MiMo section of Miami that we saw reviewed on tv a few months back. Great dinner outside in the charming patio area. The menu online is not the menu we got, so maybe that's lunch and what we got was the dinner one. There was a boutique upstairs and a mini-art space adjacent. Nice. Some Japanese guy was there checking an installation. I went two times more to the bathroom in the restaurant (Uva 69).

Princess Dieter at Uva69

I had to deconstruct dinner to enter it into Sparkpeople, and I knew I would, so as I was eating, I was looking and examining for how to deconstruct (ie, how much parmesan, how much EVOO, how much wine in the vegetables, which veggies, how many in the mixed veggies, how much filet mignon, etc. I used the same system I used last night: lots of water before starter (4 glasses), order decaf and drink loads (3 cups), had unsweetened iced tea, too. I first ordered a caprese sald, but then switched to a chicken veggie soup starter, as that had fewer caloribes and the liquid would help fill me. Kept carbs minimal, nixed the risotto again--what's with risotto everywhere lately, stop tempting me!--loaded up with extra veggie sides and gave hubby half my steak. No dessert, though a tray went by and I nearly plotzed. No wine, though I really ached for a Pinot Grigio hit with my soup. More water after done eating (1 glass). He was able to have leftovers, since he had my steak half, so his lunch tomorrow is ready for brown-bagging. Lovely eatery. If you come to Miami, definitely hit Uva 69 on a fresh evening for outdoor patio dining.

I'm getting into the habit of asking for lots of water, no ice, so I can gauge quantities better an drink it FAST without "brain freeze". :D

I calculated my dinner calories on SparkPeople at 1038. That's a lot for one meal, but it didn't send me over.

On the way home, we stopped at Target, and I peed TWICE in the hour we were there. Geesh. See what I said about having to figure out where the toilets are around town, the nicer ones? Target is NOT a nicer one. ; )

calories so far: 1478
fluids so far:  172 oz (not counting soup, exceed accelerated amount)

Snack: (clearly should have had more water, cause I got hungry at Midnight)
2 cups watermelon, 1 small pear, and 1 WS vanilla protein shake (made with 8 oz waer)
4 glasses of water
1 cup decaf with sucralose

calories for snack: 281
fluids with snack: 48 oz


Total Calories:  1759
Total Fluids:   220 oz

What are your weight loss rules? My #1 and Stephen's #1....

I was over at WHO ATE MY BLOG? and like the first entry in the "rules of weight loss" series that this blogger, Stephen, just started enumerating:

Rule #1: You have to want to change your behavior. Weight Loss = Behavior Modification

Yep. ESSENTIAL.

I'd put "Make the decision" as my FIRST rule of weight loss were I to make a list (and I might eventually). All change--and behavior modification is to me a nice fancy, science-y term that means MAKING CHANGES to our patterns of action--begins with a realization and a decision.

Realization: I'm fat. It's impacting my life negatively. If I don't change I can't do X, Y, or Z and bad things will happen to me (early chronic health conditions, early acute health conditions,  more expenses, fewer job opportunities, problems socializing, fewer dating chances, lower self-esteem, less confidence, early death, etc).

Decision: I will make the necessary changes in my life to stop being fat and forestall or avoid certain problems due to this fat--and improve my life.

Then you go and start figuring out what BEHAVIORS need to be MODIFIED (ie, changed). Some examples (not from my life, just making some for illustration):

Modification 1: I will have 3 meals of no more than 500 calories each and keep a calorie count daily, instead of my "eat what I want" no matter how many calories that I do now. (subsets of this can go on in terms of modifying recipes, setting up meal times, banning fave restaurants if they have no good options or too many temptations, etc.)

Modification 2: I will cook dinner 5 days of the week and eat out 2 days, unlike now when I eat all my dinners out.

Modification 3: I will increase the number of fruits and veggies to 6 a day, in contrast to my 2 a day now. To do this, I will go to the Farmer's market at least once a week to stock up.

Modification 4: I will get up at 7 instead of at 8 to do 30 minutes of exercising and 30 minutes of motivational reading and meal planning for the day.

And so forth....

I've had great nutrition KNOWLEDGE since my teens, reading books, reading magazines, taking a nutrition course in college, even reading dietitian program texts. I've seen 4 nutritionists since my 20's, and I generally impress them with my knowledge of nutrients and my good eye for calorie counting and knowing what a serving is.

Knowledge is not as much "power" as the adage may lead one to think. Knowledge NOT applied is just knowledge. It's only powerful when USED.

Behavior modification is about overhauling actions--big and small. Again: CHANGE. We fatties need to change the way we eat and the way we move (or don't). We eat too much. We prolly move too little. We may make poor spontaneous or emotionally driven choices. We make excuses--legitimate or silly--for why we stuck that burger, third slice of pizza, handful of M&Ms or second doughnut in our mouths. We don't properly plan, strategize, and follow-through.

To change is to accept responsibility for what we can: what we eat, how we move, when we eat, how we sleep, our medications, hiring professional assistance, etc. To change is to find ways to make up for where we have unavoidable deficits instead of using them as habitual excuses for staying obese: disabilities, medical conditions, limited budgets, unsupportive family, etc.  EVERYONE has some kind of obstacle, or many, be it...

~budgetary (hard to get a lot of fresh foods or pay for a gym)
~environmental (works in a bakery, candy shop, restaurant; imprisoned)
~relational (unsupportive family, friends, coworkers; feeder relationship)
~medical (endocrine/metabolic issues, mobility issues, cardiac issues, etc)
~psychological (trauma that relates to seeking food or seeking a fat body)
~emotional (comfort eating, associating food with pleasant memories)
~spiritual/ethical (hedonistic gluttony, food exorbitance).


Changing ourselves makes losing weight and keeping it off hard because, well, you know already:  making new habits is hard. It means you have to do things DIFFERENTLY and sometimes that difference takes a lot more planning and effort--at least until the habit is so well-established that it's automatic. Because temptations make you want to go back to old, pleasant, rewarding ways--rewarding in ways other than on the scale.

It's always gonna be easier to pick up a phone and order pizza or Chinese and have food magically appear in disposable containers than to shop for good groceries, chop veggies, peel fruit, saute or bake or grill or steam, serve it, and then wash pots and pans and dishes. Always. It's always easier to do a drive-thru then head to teh supermarket, choose, pay, come home and prepare it. Always.

So, one has to DECIDE it's worth taking the extra trouble to set aside time for meal prep (or at least meal/calorie planning so one knows what to buy at convenience eateries) and for regular exercise. Then one has to...modify...behave in that new way...change...

Whether it's giving up booze or sugar, giving up cocaine or pizza binges, giving up an established pattern requires energy--it can be so exhausting to the mind and body to learn new way of behaving. This is not an assumption--it's documented. Read SWITCH to see.

I had to do work in my life to get over outbursts of anger. I've had to exercise self-control sexually to live up to my religious beliefs (and trust me, when you're single, abstinence is tough, but not as tough as dieting, hah). I've had to exercise self-control not to tell assorted people in out there to F-off, at work and at school and in family life. I had to change my life to adapt to a university program, modify my behavior to get great grades. I had to alter my routine to work at X employer or Y job site. Change is usually tough at first, then you adapt.


I often and for long periods decided not to exercise self-control about food choices--and yes, that's ALWAYS a decision what we choose to eat and how much unless one is captive and the food choices beyond one's control-- and I didn't exercise at all. I am now in the process of modifying those gluttonous and slothful habits (among others).


Just like substance abusers, sex addicts, the bad-tempered, chronic fibbers, name-your-vice relapse, dieters also relapse (go back to old ways of eating and not voing). And then we have to try again--or we mess up your health.  Part of modifying my behavior is to immediately get back on the calorically-restrictive eating habit rather than just feasting away for weeks or months and then, sluggishly, crawling back to the, "Oh, I need to diet" mindset after I regained part or all of my pounds lost.

Immediate, or at least PROMPT, course correction--that's part of behavioral modification for weight loss. (Maybe that's a rule, too. )

So, that's why things like blogging (for me and others) and challenges (like Allan's) are valuable. They force me to strategize, change behavior, add new habits, reinforce better behavior to get to my goal and achieve ease and familiarity and HABITUATION with a DIFFERENT set of behaviors, those that establish and maintain...a healthier weight.

Yeah. Stephen is right. Behavior modification is key. It has subsets, particularly EATING LESS AND MOVING MORE.

But once you break down the behaviors into smaller units, then you get the particular pattern that works for individuals (how to shop, how to stock pantry and fridge, how to cook healthfully, how much water, when to drink, supplements, exercise schedule, tricks mental and otherwise that get one to do this stuff, etc). This is where more the personal, the individual, the unique comes in. 

Still, if you look at the habits of successful "losers" and "maintainers"....I think you find more commonality than difference. They had to eat less. They had to move more. They had to find foods they liked that fit the caloric needs. They had to find (at least most) activities they enjoyed to burn calories and firm up. They had to find ways to stay motivated. They had to find support (whether through books, groups, blogs, family, friends, organizations, or their own souls.) They had to look long-term, not crash diet short-term. They had to sacrifice.

But first they had to firmly, clearly, unequivocally DECIDE to start the journey of change. :)



Have a trimming Thursday, folks!

Face The Truth Fridays: More than a Half a Pound Up, But Fit Into Goal Jeans and Waist is 1/4 inch less. Huh?

695 days, 5 hours, and 93.2 pounds to go...

253.2

Yep. It went UP.

As I expected. As I posted that I expected.

Still sucks.

That's 3/5ths of a pound more than last Friday.

The truth I'm facing: I am letting portions go up. I am not saying no as often as I should. I let some of the worst carbs creep back in (white rice, white crackers). I restrained myself--I really, really did. No bingeing. No insane portions. Just...too much to adequately bring loss.

It was laziness. It was losing focus.

I'm facing another truth: I don't understand my body this week. While washing my face this am, and seeing a clear view of my nekkid and just-woke -up self, I looked thinner. In my middle. I was staring at my torso and thinking, okay, something has gone down here.

But Mr. Tanita says otherwise. (ie, my brand of scale)

But what I wore yesterday neeners the scale.

So, I got the tape measure.

While I'm up 3/5ths of a pound, my waist is down 1/4 inch. This jibes with yesterday's wardrobe.  I finally fit in my goal jeans and wore them out yesterday--with red shoes and a red tank top and red lipstick and red nail polish to celebrate the NSV. Felt great to zip them up, button the two buttons, and see that they fit perfectly. Size 22. At my highest, I wore sizes 28-30. So...

WTF? I'm up on the scale but into the goal jeans. And the waist is a tad tad smaller. And I can SEE my naked body has shifted some.

I get an idea. I go get a nightie I bought that didn't fit. (I have bought so many goal jeans, nighties, and dresses, it's not funny. And usually never made it into them in time to enjoy them while in style. Now, I only buy classics as "goal clothing".)

It fits. I'm wearing it as I type. Looks good. Hubby says it looks good.

Huh.

One clue may be from my training session. I felt strong yesterday. Stronger than usual. I got asked by two men if I needed help carrying my huge box of fruits and veggies from the coop. I thanked them and shooed them off. 'No, thanks. I'm strong.' And I was.

I had no problems with the heavy box, AND my heavy shoulder bag.

My trainer commented on how my strength and stamina are up.

So, maybe it's the muscle-fat thing. Maybe some muscle has switched places with some fat.

I know I didn't eat enough to gain even one pound. I ate enough salt to gain 5 pounds, sure, but I didn't. (I suspect yesterday's treasure trove of veggies and fruit supplied potassium to balance that a bit.)

So, whatever. I did NOT meet goal. I am behind schedule. Not acceptable.

I have gotten lax again, and I did not continue reading my motivational materials (the books on change and such), and I caved to cravings here and there .

I remember spending years in the 270's, futzing up and down. I don't intend to do that in the 250's. I haven't been here long, and I don't plan to be. Fewer than four pounds are keeping me from leaving this "decade". I won't be defeated by them.

And in fewer than 8 pounds, I can leave the "morbidly obese" category.

I've also faced another truth even more soundly: I can change my habits. And by doing that change "our" habits (hubby's and mine).

Hubby and I normally go out and eat up the town on his days off (he's off today, he's off Monday, yay! Boinkarama calorie burnoff time!) If I had said, "Let's go out for Italian" or Mexican or whatever, we would have been out there, scarfing. I'm the one who reads up reviews and suggests new places. So, if I only choose healthful places with good choices, I affect both our healths. I affect our weights. (Hubby is only mildly pudgy (as you can see in his pic in a previous post) while I am a barn.)

I seriously looked at him for a second, thinking, yes, I can get him to go out for bagels and omelettes. I quickly knocked that down. I'm talking a matter of 5 seconds and my inner rational dieter said: "No. Go make him something lean and healthful and go make your own meal, too."

I did just that. I made him lean turkey fricasse over some rice and peas (he loves rice) with a fresh apple, and I had my low-carb breakfast with coffee. I had some papaya with lime for 1. taste 2. enzymes 3. nutrients 4. anti-bloat potassium and 5. its color makes me happy.

We were both satisfied and we both did our bodies a service by not overeating.

And we saved moolah.

So, the truth is, eating less means I spend less, and that's money I can use for something healthier for me (paying my trainer, buying my vitamins, saving for retirement).

Truths: I gained weight. I failed the Prime Directive Goal. But I met other goals--fitting in those black jeans, saying no to some temptations, wearing this nightie with comfort-- and had behavior modification victories that tell me I am changing.. I'm very pleased with the latter items--very--while sad about the first. No, not sad. Mad. Mad at me.

Can one be glad and mad at the same time? Yeah, looks like it. :)

But next week, I plan to be very pleased with myself. So...there it is. Truth.