Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Once On Fire, Now Dimmed Some (not Dim Sum, DIMMED, DIMMED, I said!)....but wanting to BECOME the Fire...

I have a couple books on the Desert Fathers (and mothers), and one of my fave of the stories from that era is this one:

 Abba Lot went to see Abba Joseph and said, “Abba Joseph, as much as I am able, I keep the small rule, I fast, I keep vigil, I pray.  What else should I do?”  

Abba Joseph then stood up, and stretched his hands up to the heavens, and said, “Why not be turned into fire?”

I get shivers and thrills every time I read that. I've read that story from time to time over the last, what, two decades. There is something that simply grabs at my soul when I read...

"Why not be turned into fire?"

A fire isn't controlled by "small rules". A fire goes all out. ALL OUT.

I've always wanted that. To just be...aflame. To be bright and burning and unstoppable and illuminating and full of zeal. Where we have this vision of what we are and what we can be and we just feel obstacles fall away and the power grow within us. We simply BURN....

I have had moments and phases of fire about various things. Studies. My faith journey. My writing. Days are more vivid and work flows and life is just more colorful when we're on fire, isn't it? We don't have to ask for ways to get motivated. We are BURNING UP and nothing stops us.

I'd say that my best run with diet and exercise last winter/spring was a time of me having become fire, a big laughing ball of flame, for a time. For a brief time when it felt nearly effortless. The rest of the last 1 1/2 years have been work, but I've had joy. Joy at the progress.

Fires can dim...and they can burn out.

I'm slightly dimmer, but I'm amazed that nearly 20 months into my "I commit to lose weight" journey, I haven't burned out. Usually, by a month's end, I was done.

My fire ain't out. It's just smaller. A more homely little hearth fire, not a festival bonfire.

Is  yours dimmer? Is it out? 

Sometimes, it never burns as bright again. Sometimes, you simple keep the vision in your head until the fire returns, and hope that the next time, it's an undying sun.

I'm out to not just BE on fire, but become fire. Be the thing that must burn, and burn, and must continue to burn, because that's what fire does. Fire refuses to not burn.

Well, this is the year of the dragon. Dragons breathe fire.

I'm ready to breathe fire....eat fire...then be fire....have impurities burn up, turn whatever is in my way to ash.... and shine....

So...time to pray.

Hat tip: I got thinking about this "desert fathers" story when I saw Loretta's doodle today. See it here.

11 comments:

Caron said...

My fire sometimes gets down to mere embers but then I add fuel and I get back up and running. Our work is never done. :)

upinthecosmos said...

I'm refueling the fire myself this week so that it can burn bright once again! Great post:-)

Jo said...

Yeah, that's it. I'm a little comfy home fire. Sometimes a little brighter, sometimes a little dimmer, but never burned out, always a little ember sparkling.

Good post, and another view of the situation.

Kelliann said...

GREAT post - I LOVE what you have to say about becoming the fire - so different from being ON fire... Something I am going to think and pray on.
Thank you!!

Laryssa said...

Very nicely written. I've got to get these dim embers burning again too. :)

Angela Pea said...

Festival Bonfires are all showers of sparks, but they burn out quickly because who the heck can keep tossing whole logs at them?

Simmering Home Fires are so much better because they're sustainable and productive.

Hang in there, Mir!

Nanette said...

Sometimes I feel like I'm just a matchstick, other times I feel like a bonfire...

I'm glad to see that glimmer coming back! Burn it up, Mir! :)

Julie said...

Fire darn near went out the past three week but it's back glowing and the flame will start again.
Take care Mir. Have a great week.
Blessings!!

Chinagirl said...

Thank you for the post. It's encouraging. I also want my fire burn again or let's say, be a fire and make others burn too.

Jordan said...

Well-writ lady! That's a great analogy. I'm feeling like a cold, soggy, nose-drippin' fire right now, but I can put my hand on my belly and feel something there. Something strong and good. Now take some of that fire and mooove!

Rettakat said...

Wow.... just... wow! You said it soooo well, with words and phrases and emotions and power... My last post I said my inspiring word to put into my drawing was "Fire!". But YOU explained the why of that perfectly!