Doc's Office Scale, all clothed: 188
My last visit with the doc was last October --three months ago--and her scale had me at 185.
So, up 3 pounds since that last visit.
Up 5.5--eek-- pounds on my home scale from my absolute (briefly experienced) lowest of 177.4.
Doc said, "Wow, skinny!" after I walked in wearing my super cute and slinky Karen Kane dress with pearls and turquoise jewelry. My curls in good shape again. My Nars FUNNY FACE lipstick adding a bit of color to my kinda droopy face. Whatever has been sapping my energy and vim has made me look extra droopy. If I don't smile, it feels like my cheeks and eyelids are gonna just slide down to my chin, I swear!"
My doc said she could tell I was not feeling normal--that I was drooping and "flat". Yeah, I know, I know. Here's proof (me, after I got home and had breakfast, with my lipstick all gone/eaten up):
|I've looked better....|
Despite the droops, I got through Pilates pretty well yesterday, and went on a walk. Here's me yesterday in my pink hoodie, cause it was a little cool when I headed out:
|Pop of color makes you look better!|
My regain is right there in the middle!
My avocado body likes building belly fat.
Men must like pink. I got a wolf-whistle (second this week) and a car that slowed so the driver could go, "Whoa!" at me. Yeah, okay, kinda cheered me up since I felt all OLD and DROOPY facially.
I can tell the difference from normal me to now me. I got through the 30 minute walk, but I had to ratchet down the briskness about 20, 22 minutes into it. I was simply losing steam. Just feeling like my body weighed 250 lbs again.
As I made tea today, I glanced at the fridge, where the wee magnet that Beth of OBESITY STRIKE blog (see my blogroll for the link) sent me last year has its special spot--very visible, EYE-LEVEL. (Love you, Bethie!!!)
It's a message I needed all month --maybe you do, to--and I'll need it until I sort out my bleh-blahs: KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON...
|It's a WWII message that I NEED in This War on Fat!|
Oh, and that's FAGE with Nature's Hollow sugar-free
blueberry preserves, organic fresh blueberries, and walnuts...
That pic is from some days ago, and I put the magnet next to my yogurty lunch.
But, hey, on the "let's focus on the good front": I made it through my scheduled exercise for Thursday. Today is a walk day...and I aim not to flake. I aim to MAKE IT and DO IT and not just slink off to doze or read. Cheer me on!
I apologize for not having the review up. Totally lost the document. Have no idea what the heck happened to it--I had a Word Document more than a page long already of a review--but I gotta see if I can recover it, or I have to write it all over again. DANG! I SWEAR IT IS COMING..be patient with me. Thanks.
So, the fatfight continues--mind, body, spirit--even when incipient spiritlessness wants me for its own. I refuse!
Feeding the mind: I went and read a blog entry by the very wonderful Dr. Paul Jaminet. He rocks! One of my fave obesity-research/healthful-lifestyle bloggers. Not just smart, but courteous. His reponses tend to be very well-thought out. If you haven't read his book (written with his wife as co-author), then I recommend THE PERFECT HEALTH DIET. Even if you don't follow it to the letter, it's worth reading for the research (many, many footnotes) he brings to the table.
Anyway, was reading THIS recent entry. I already linked here in this blog to this issue --the much-discussed THE FAT TRAP article. I've mentioned the National Weight Control Registry before. I've discussed how DANG HARD, CRAZY HARD it is to keep big weight losses off. (Well, and for some, even NOT big losses are hard to keep off.) The metabolic alterations in a post-weight-loss body. The pitfalls. The hormonal war against us. The regain.
Since, honestly, I am now at a weight I can live with, and, blastedly, since I am now fighting regain, I need to keep these things in mind. Always. The odds are not my pal.
It is a war. It is a constant, daily thing to be attentive to. And I keep the hope of being one of the blessed (or hard-working as hell) 5% who do keep it off.
I ain't quitting this war. I ain't dropping my sword. I am going through a rough patch, and I refuse to be defeated by a wonky body or a mood or anything. I will prevail, with God's grace, supportive fatfighting online pals, hope, discipline, faith, and self-love.
And in that spirit of self-love, I gave the thumbs up to my reflection today. I tucked my loose skin into stretchy panties and a supportive bra. I put on makeup and perfume. I wore a cute outfit. I refused to let my tired looking face get me down.
|I guess I wanted to be merry with CHERRY!|
Larabar cherry torte and Cherry Berry tea...
(Pic left: Am sipping some Celestial Seasonings caffeine-free numsiness between typing words here. With 1/3 of a Chewy Chocolate Cherry Torte Larabar. I can't eat a whole one. Too carby. Spikes my glucose. But 1/3rd to 1/2 after a meal sometimes = nice dessert treat. I had a veggie-cheese omelette with sliced tomatoes, papaya chunks with lime juice, and 1/3rd of the Larabar shown. Blood glucose an hour later: 87. Good.)
In the spirit of self-love and self-esteem, I will win this battle, feel the grand achievement of it, and move on to conquer more terrain in my own war against my weaknesses. I will become stronger. I believe it!
Do you believe it? Even if you're struggling...do you believe you can do this, win this, grow, become stronger? BELIEVE IT!
Let's beat the odds to a bloody pulp.
Then sit down to sip cherry tea as we fit nicely, with room to spare, with flexible and strong limbs, in our cushy chairs. Aaaahhh.....war is tough. Much tea is needed.
Let's never give up, k? Let's be WELL!