E2E Challenge Update #4: Back in the 170s (whew!) and a week of walking mojo, plus how the dress fits TODAY....yep, some pics....

Today's weight: 179.4                                 Waist: 34.75

Last Update: 180.8                                     Waist: 34.75

Intitial weight: 183.0                                    Waist 35

 A loss of 1.4 pounds for the week. Regaining lost ground. I have to lose nearly 2 pounds to be at my lowest weight that I reached last year, so I hope to be there again by my birthday next month.

I did feel a difference, physically. I feel myself up before I get out of bed (I sleep nekkid). I felt like my ribcage was "bonier" and the belly less dense. I figured the scale would show SOME progress.

This despite a second carby indulgence. I had the leftovers of the lentil soup and the rice for supper last night, with a small papaya and some cheese.

I did feel like I'd made "body progress", so I tried on the dress. It is 4 weeks into the challenge, a month since we got this gig going, so I figured, yeah, let's try on the challenge dress:

Here is how it fit 12/31/11:

Zipper goes up to waist only...

Zipper goes up to bra line...Progress!
You can see it's smoother in the hip area....

This is why I say, GET A DRESS and keep trying it on. The scale may crawl, but if you are eating right, moving consistently, and building muscle, the body changes. Bit by bit. Little by little, the good actions add up to change.

Fluids: great. I'm in the habit already. Thanks, Allan!

Calories: I hovered around 1400 most days. Had one roughly 1800 day. If I hadn't exercised more well, you can guess....

Exercise: exceeded goals. I walked 5 x and had 2 sessions with my Pilates trainer. Pleasantly sore muscles, even today.

Book: Added a new book to my reading list for the challenge, and I only dipped into it this week. THINK AND GROW THIN by Charles D'Angelo. Let's see what he adds to this party.

Support: I posted on (I think) all my buddy's blogs and I posted more than the minimum of 3x at challenger blogs. And, of course, I tried to be encouraging here on my blog.

Mood: pretty good. Energy level is better. I don't know if it was sleeping better, walking more, or upping my iodine and vitamin C intake. Whatever. I'm not at primo energy level, but I feel clearly improved. Blood tests will be done Tuesday, and I see the endo on Friday. I hope it's not a trying session. I wanna get whatever is in the way cleared so I can soar again....

I'll end this with my challenge quotes:

"The ability to discipline yourself to delay gratification in the short term in order to enjoy greater rewards in the long term is the indispensable prerequisite for success." 

~Maxwell Maltz

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 

~Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

Challengers: Get the updates in by end of day, Eastern time, Sunay. I recommend SOONER. Don't get distracted and forget. I encourage you to post a dress/outfit pic to show progress. Remember to add your guiding guote(s) and mention your book, even if it's just the title. Let's get cracking on the next month of doing good things for our bodies and minds. On we go...

A lentil and rice indulgence...and I need a Concorde Pear Fix! And... Lifestyle change = Identity change. "Long live the new creature!"...A Psalm for those undergoing hard times..and a new book I'm reading....

Tanita-san: 180.4

I grew up eating beans. Nearly every day. Yeah, we were poor and rice n beans are cheap eatings,  but it's also about culture. Cubans love their legumes.

I keep legumes to a minimum these days, be they black, kidney, garbanzos, etc. But I still have them. I crave them hard some days. So, I have them, starch and anti-nutrients and all. :)

Last night, I had a cup of lentil soup (thick batch "homemade" at a local eatery) with 1/2 cup rice with supper. Plus a Concorde pear. And an apple with some raw organic pecan butter smeared...and some cottage cheese. It was a sort of mini-smorgasbord supper. I was really hungry, and I did not want to cook. Much higher in carbs than usual for my evening meal, but it satisfied a host of cravings--the apple crunch, the comfort food quality of the rice n lentils, the vanilla notes of desserty-goodness of the pear. That baby is fast moving up to being my fave fruit. It's still lagging behind mango, but not far.

I have been feeling heated for a couple days. Less "chilled". So, maybe it's fat burn. One can hope. :)

I did do my session with the Pilates trainer and my 33 minute walk yesterday. So, I've officially met my challenge exercise goals for the week. That pleases me. I've been telling myself, when I wanted to skip, "Your identity is a person who walks. That is who you are. you walk. So go be who you are."

I say this about food and other things. Changing lifestyle = changing identity. I figure that's why it's a hard process. You start becoming a different person in assorted ways. I am not a person who eats gluten. I am a person who walks. I am a person who drinks plenty of fluids.

I was not that person before. I am this person NOW. My identity is a person who controls food intake and makes an effort to move and stay flexible and strong.

Becoming a Christian was the taking on of a new identity, a new self, so it's not like many of us used to sermons and church talk and spirit walk don't know what this is.

"The old man is dead.

Long live the new creature..." 

That's from a "classic" Christian pop song by Honeytree. Coincidentally, it's a flock of joggers on the cover of that LP (MARANATHA MARATHON), with "Honeytree" herself in a sweat suit. (Anyone remember Honeytree from the Jesus People movement? I used to sing her stuff all the time. I wish that lp was available on cd. I check online all the time. No luck. It had an amazing version of Psalm 57. Very intimate feeling, beautiful arrangement, with Honeytree's vocals earnest and vulnerable. I still sing that song acapella sometimes in my devotions.)

If you're having a hard time, maybe read Psalm 57. The praise section in it is powerful. And if your heart is not steadfast, all your endeavors will fail. I know I need, need, need steadfastness. In all areas, not just this one. Life is better when we are steadfast to what and whom is good. The new self should be good.

Losing weight, becoming fitter, keeping it off. That's good.

The old me had to die. Has to die and continue to stay dead. Long live the new me!

We all, all of us fighting fat, have to kill off the old us, the previous identity that comforts with food, gives in to binges, chooses poorly, sits all day and never bothers with exercise, skimps on sleep, dives into sugar in stressful times. That person has to die. A new person has to be born and nurtured...one that takes self-care and self-love into the arena of food and movement.

What identity have you selected? What are you working to BE?

What is your identity today?

I like reading books by folks who were obese and lost it. I just bought THINK AND GROW THIN by Charles D' Angelo, and he has pics of himself morbidly obese. You see him now, all muscley and fit, it's amazing. Like him, I believe in not ignoring the strength one can get turning to one's "Higher power"...in my case, the Judeo-Christian God. I was also interested in how he early on also looks at this whole identity thing.

We have to change who we are and we have to hold on to that new identity.

Kill the you that's killing you with overeating and sedentary ways. Just kill that identity. Bury it. And build a new one...

It worked for the Phoenix. :D

E2E Mid-week Update for Week 4: Holding steady, Moving well, Yoga in my near future, Cravings in my right now, Organic-goodies in da house...with some pics of some stuff I've eaten this week....

Okay, dinner's done, hubby's abed, and I can do an update before I polish off the dishes and drink a bit of water. Am feeling thirsty....

Tanita-san: 180.8

Holding steady.

So far this week, exercise-wise: 1 session with Pilates trainer (good one, too, and I still have some soreness today, inner thighs and shoulders, especially), 3x walking. To complete my week's goals, I should walk at least 1x more (I'm aiming for 2) and have one more strengthening session (which I plan to do tomorrow).

Mood is good. I feel slightly perkier than last week.

I got an Amazon deal for 5 yoga sessions--for $19 bucks. How cool is that?

I've never done formal yoga with a trained instructor. I did do yoga as a teen and in my early twenties, but from books and magazines...following poses. And a bit with television's Lilias. When I got huge, it was impossible. I wanted to try it again. What sold me though was the location. WALKING distance from my house--a 15 minute brisk walk, and I know, cause it's in my current walking route-- in a gorgeous location. You can see pics here.

If you saw my Onederland pics (me in the spring green tee), that was taken at the gate of the monastery. So, I'm looking forward to it.  The same yoga people offer "yoga healing dance"...and that really sounds interesting. :D

Oh, and the person who owns this yoga studio/business was Shakira's trainer. Yeah, THAT Shakira whose "hips don't lie". I don't know (and doubt) she teaches the monastery classes, but hey, ya never know? We might hear some interesting celebrity fitness stories....

So, something to spice up my routine...and allow for a nice meditative experience surrounded my medieval era "sanctified" stones.

I'm nicely stocked with some organic produce--had my co-op share to pick up today. I ate one of the AMAZING Concorde pears (end of season, sigh, sniff, sob). I had a tangelo, too, dessert after my dinner of fajita steak and chicken strips over mixed organic greens with Florida avocado (less caloric than haas) and cucumbers (also from today's organic share).

I did have a yummy dinner this week from some of last week's share, behold the amazingly good Napa cabbage, scallions, and broccoli that went into a ginger chicken stir fry:

Organic cabbage, broccoli, scallions

stir fry over the boiled chopped cabbage as "rice" base...

I'm still digging that Celestial Seasonings black cherry berry tea. It's like dessert, I swear:

Super delish with lime...ever had cherry limeade? Yeah!
I'm enjoying it in a fine English teacup and pouring
from an inherited Hungarian teapot...
I believe in drinking tea out of pretty stuff!

Breakfast Tuesday: papaya with lime, eggs "on
a plate" as Allan would say, with some ripe tomatoes (Campari)
coffee and iced green tea. The coffee is a fresh batch of Organic
Ethiopian Yirgacheffe. OMG, so good.

Today's first meal: I was extra hungry in the AM--as evidenced by the partially
eaten grapefruit I noshed on while cooking-- so I added "lite"
sausages and half an organic grapefruit from last week's
coop share to a repeat of day before's breakfast line-up
...and a bit of extra spicy Mrs. Dash.

It's been warmer, so I'm ready for a cool front, I can tell you. :)

I've been highlighting--I've got an array of colored pencils and glowy highlighters and am not afraid to liberally use them--statistics and study outcomes in my challenge book, SMARTER SCIENCE OF SLIM, and reminding myself as I read, "focus on veggies, focus on protein".

Why?

Cause I still am craving taters and rice and, cause I got a glimpse of it in the freezer, gluten free toast. I bought a loaf of millet bread 6 weeks ago, and I've had exactly TWO slices since then, and gave away part of the loaf to my sis. But it's there...and I do try NOT to rely on grains. Still, since the cravings came back a bit, I do have to say, "no, no, no"...and then go select veggie or fruit or just have some tea and calm down. :)

I look forward to when the cravings bite the dust again. It's all cyclical. You just gotta hold on until it smooths out, right?

Now, to close this update with my challenge "guiding" quotes, because it's good to reread and refocus, always:

"The ability to discipline yourself to delay gratification in the short term in order to enjoy greater rewards in the long term is the indispensable prerequisite for success."
Maxwell Maltz

" For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

And challengers, if your updates aren't done, DO THEM ALREADY!

Be very well, folks!

Once On Fire, Now Dimmed Some (not Dim Sum, DIMMED, DIMMED, I said!)....but wanting to BECOME the Fire...

I have a couple books on the Desert Fathers (and mothers), and one of my fave of the stories from that era is this one:

 Abba Lot went to see Abba Joseph and said, “Abba Joseph, as much as I am able, I keep the small rule, I fast, I keep vigil, I pray.  What else should I do?”  

Abba Joseph then stood up, and stretched his hands up to the heavens, and said, “Why not be turned into fire?”

I get shivers and thrills every time I read that. I've read that story from time to time over the last, what, two decades. There is something that simply grabs at my soul when I read...

"Why not be turned into fire?"

A fire isn't controlled by "small rules". A fire goes all out. ALL OUT.

I've always wanted that. To just be...aflame. To be bright and burning and unstoppable and illuminating and full of zeal. Where we have this vision of what we are and what we can be and we just feel obstacles fall away and the power grow within us. We simply BURN....

I have had moments and phases of fire about various things. Studies. My faith journey. My writing. Days are more vivid and work flows and life is just more colorful when we're on fire, isn't it? We don't have to ask for ways to get motivated. We are BURNING UP and nothing stops us.

I'd say that my best run with diet and exercise last winter/spring was a time of me having become fire, a big laughing ball of flame, for a time. For a brief time when it felt nearly effortless. The rest of the last 1 1/2 years have been work, but I've had joy. Joy at the progress.

Fires can dim...and they can burn out.

I'm slightly dimmer, but I'm amazed that nearly 20 months into my "I commit to lose weight" journey, I haven't burned out. Usually, by a month's end, I was done.

My fire ain't out. It's just smaller. A more homely little hearth fire, not a festival bonfire.

Is  yours dimmer? Is it out? 

Sometimes, it never burns as bright again. Sometimes, you simple keep the vision in your head until the fire returns, and hope that the next time, it's an undying sun.

I'm out to not just BE on fire, but become fire. Be the thing that must burn, and burn, and must continue to burn, because that's what fire does. Fire refuses to not burn.

Well, this is the year of the dragon. Dragons breathe fire.

I'm ready to breathe fire....eat fire...then be fire....have impurities burn up, turn whatever is in my way to ash.... and shine....

So...time to pray.

Hat tip: I got thinking about this "desert fathers" story when I saw Loretta's doodle today. See it here.

E2E Update #3: Regaining some ground, waist dipped, still not meeting goals as I'd like..and some quasi-Nicoisey comfort...as I dream of the 35-35-30 sweet spot for this week...

Tanita-san: 180.8                                         Waist: 34.75

Last Update:  181.2                                       Waist 35
Intitial weight: 183.0                                       Waist 35

I've really focused on the first of my challenge quotes this week to help me regain ground, and on the second quote, a Bible verse, to keep me going despite feeling "less than". I choose to believe in both "greater rewards" for present sacrifice and in a better future, as the Lord wills:

"The ability to discipline yourself to delay gratification in the short term in order to enjoy greater rewards in the long term is the indispensable prerequisite for success." 

~Maxwell Maltz

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 

~Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

Though I hate going below 1500 cals, I had a couple roughly 1200-1300 cal days, split between two meals.  I don't feel satisfied with itsy bitsy 300 or so cal meals. I do feel satisfied with 600-650 cal meals...so this is how I roll these days. When I eat 1500-1600, I just add a smaller yogurt-berry-nuts meal or a protein shake or some other "lesser" meal.

I have not felt hungry. I have felt cravings. I've been in this dieting gig long enough to know the difference. If it's a particular food I want, but I tell myself I can have this other on-plan food, and my mouth doesn't want it, it's a craving. For instance:

My craving: "Oh, lasagna sounds good."
Me: "You can have steamed broccoli with some lowfat cheddar."
My craving: "No, I want lasagna. Or pizza."
Me: "You can have a pear with walnuts. Or veggie soup. Now, pick one."
Craving: "Forget it. :::pout:::"
Me: "Fine."

I also let my hand go to where I'm FEELING the food desire. If it's more face/throat/mouth--it's emotional or oral craving. If it's more to the belly, and especially if I feel emptier than normal, that sort of "light" feeling, it's hunger.

If I drink water or wait 30 minutes and it lessens, it's a craving or thirst. If I wait 30 minutes and it's worse, it's hunger.

And having cravings return is probably due to the general "not feeling well" thing. When I feel draggy, my brain probably interprets it as, "Oh, I need food, cause I'm not energetic." Well, I didn't' need food, so I had to tell the cravings to take a hike. Repeatedly. Sigh.

I did give in to a craving last night. I wanted my mother's version of Nicoise salad. She used to make it with codfish, boiled potatoes, boiled green beans, boiled eggs, and olive oil.

I had some organic taters, so I boiled them up. I can't have seafood, and I didn't have any green beans, so it was just 2 boiled eggs, taters, olive oil and salt. In a small portion. Not the big ones I'd eat of my mom's. It was really very comforting. Something in me wanted comfort (hence the pizza, lasagna trigger bingey food cravings, too), maybe just cause I didn't feel WELL this month, this week. It hit the spot. 300 calories of comfort. QUASI-NICOISEY. (kwah-see nee-Swah-see, which is fun to say!)

I'm gonna get some green beans, and maybe have it again with some added non-starchy veggies, or just dump it on greens. Wish I could have the codfish, too, but wishes won't get me a new immune system, so....

Fluids were great.

Exercise: Goals not met, but I had one very good Pilates session (1 hour) and 3 walking days (30 mins).  I was short 1 walking session and 1 strengthening session.

Support: I met the minimum and then some, but I have not been very active commenting/reading blogs, like in the past.

Book: I dipped into SMARTER SCIENCE OF SLIM, as I got myself a softcover version (I had the e-book). It's easier to flip back and forth and I like using my highlighters. I was calculating how to make it work with fewer calories and not REGAIN....with the reality that I do very well (or did in the past) when I was in the 35-35-30 or 40-30-30 macronutrient ratios.  I really need to keep fat to 30% and carbs no more than 40%, and that was always my sweet spot. About 100 grams of carbs (400 cals of carbs), 100 to 150 g of protein (400-600 cals, Smarter Science of Slim would recommend 150 grams  ) As you can see, that's already 800 to 1000 calories worth, which leaves about 400 calories for fat. That's 1200-1400 minimum! I start regaining when I near 1700, so 1600 is kinda my "border marker". If I use more calories, I'd go for fat--cause I like using nuts and olive oil and coconut oil.

Mood: Considering the lethargy, pretty good. I keep the faith. And the hope.

So, I continue to work on it. I believe I can find a livable, enjoyable eating plan in those ratios. Just gotta do the work.

This week, my goal is to implement my adaptation of SSofS's plan and to track consistently to check my ratios and get closer to what I think will benefit me most in this stage of my game, where regain is crazy easy, body doesn't need a lot of calories, making getting a deficit HARDER and HARDER and where my body is 


Always nurture the hope. And let's be very strong as we move on...no quitting!

Good Movement Day Yesterday; Doc Visit Today, and Lab Forms Now In Hand to Check Me Out;The Unrelenting Reality of The Ongoing FatFighting; But Feeling Sexy on a Droopy-Face Day full of...Cheery Cherry-ness!

Tanita-San at home, butt naked: 183
Doc's Office Scale, all clothed:  188

My last visit with the doc was last October --three months ago--and her scale had me at 185.

So, up 3 pounds since that last visit.

Up 5.5--eek-- pounds on my home scale from my absolute (briefly experienced) lowest of 177.4.

Doc said, "Wow, skinny!" after I walked in wearing my super cute and slinky Karen Kane dress with pearls and turquoise jewelry. My curls in good shape again. My Nars FUNNY FACE lipstick adding a bit of color to my kinda droopy face. Whatever has been sapping my energy and vim has made me look extra droopy. If I don't smile, it feels like my cheeks and eyelids are gonna just slide down to my chin, I swear!"

My doc said she could tell I was not feeling normal--that I was drooping and "flat". Yeah, I know, I know. Here's proof (me, after I got home and had breakfast, with my lipstick all gone/eaten up):

I've looked better....

Since I see the endo in two weeks, she gave me lab forms to additionaly check the blood, B-12, T3 and Free T4, and just make sure I'm not anemic or something.

Despite the droops, I got through Pilates pretty well yesterday, and went on a walk. Here's me yesterday in my pink hoodie, cause it was a little cool when I headed out:

Pop of color makes you look better!
My regain is right there in the middle!
My avocado body likes building belly fat.

Men must like pink. I got a wolf-whistle (second this week) and a car that slowed so the driver could go, "Whoa!" at me. Yeah, okay, kinda cheered me up since I felt all OLD and DROOPY facially.

I can tell the difference from normal me to now me. I got through the 30 minute walk, but I had to ratchet down the briskness about 20, 22 minutes into it. I was simply losing steam. Just feeling like my body weighed 250 lbs again.

As I made tea today, I glanced at the fridge, where the wee magnet that Beth of OBESITY STRIKE blog (see my blogroll for the link) sent me last year has its special spot--very visible, EYE-LEVEL. (Love you, Bethie!!!)  

It's a message I needed all month --maybe you do, to--and I'll need it until I sort out my bleh-blahs: KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON...

It's a WWII message that I NEED in This War on Fat!
Oh, and that's FAGE with Nature's Hollow sugar-free
blueberry preserves, organic fresh blueberries, and walnuts...

That pic is from some days ago, and I put the magnet next to my yogurty lunch.

But, hey, on the "let's focus on the good front": I made it through my scheduled exercise for Thursday. Today is a walk day...and I aim not to flake. I aim to MAKE IT and DO IT and not just slink off to doze or read. Cheer me on!

I apologize for not having the review up. Totally lost the document. Have no idea what the heck happened to it--I had a Word Document more than a page long already of a review--but I gotta see if I can recover it, or I have to write it all over again. DANG! I SWEAR IT IS COMING..be patient with me. Thanks.

So, the fatfight continues--mind, body, spirit--even when incipient spiritlessness wants me for its own. I refuse!


Feeding the mind: I went and read a blog entry by the very wonderful Dr. Paul Jaminet. He rocks! One of my fave obesity-research/healthful-lifestyle bloggers. Not just smart, but courteous. His reponses tend to be very well-thought out. If you haven't read his book (written with his wife as co-author), then I recommend THE PERFECT HEALTH DIET. Even if you don't follow it to the letter, it's worth reading for the research (many, many footnotes) he brings to the table.

Anyway, was reading THIS recent entry.  I already linked here in this blog to this issue --the much-discussed THE FAT TRAP article. I've mentioned the National Weight Control Registry before. I've discussed how DANG HARD, CRAZY HARD it is to keep big weight losses off. (Well, and for some, even NOT big losses are hard to keep off.) The metabolic alterations in a post-weight-loss body. The pitfalls. The hormonal war against us. The regain.

Since, honestly,  I am now at a weight I can live with, and, blastedly, since I am now fighting regain, I need to keep these things in mind. Always. The odds are not my pal.

It is a war. It is a constant, daily thing to be attentive to. And I keep the hope of being one of the blessed (or hard-working as hell) 5% who do keep it off.

I ain't quitting this war. I ain't dropping my sword. I am going through a rough patch, and I refuse to be defeated by a wonky body or a mood or anything. I will prevail, with God's grace, supportive fatfighting online pals, hope, discipline, faith, and self-love.

And in that spirit of self-love, I gave the thumbs up to my reflection today. I tucked my loose skin into stretchy panties and a supportive bra. I put on makeup and perfume. I wore a cute outfit. I refused to let my tired looking face get me down.

I guess I wanted to be merry with CHERRY!
Larabar cherry torte and Cherry Berry tea...

In the spirit of self-love and self-healing, I'll walk today.  I'll eat MORE veggies. I'll drink more soothing teas.

(Pic left: Am sipping some Celestial Seasonings caffeine-free numsiness between typing words here. With 1/3 of a Chewy Chocolate Cherry Torte Larabar. I can't eat a whole one. Too carby. Spikes my glucose. But 1/3rd to 1/2 after a meal sometimes = nice dessert treat. I had a veggie-cheese omelette with sliced tomatoes, papaya chunks with lime juice, and 1/3rd of the Larabar shown. Blood glucose an hour later: 87. Good.)

In the spirit of self-love and self-esteem, I will win this battle, feel the grand achievement of it, and move on to conquer more terrain in my own war against my weaknesses. I will become stronger. I believe it!

Do you believe it? Even if you're struggling...do you believe you can do this, win this, grow, become stronger? BELIEVE IT!

Let's beat the odds to a bloody pulp.

Then sit down to sip cherry tea as we fit nicely, with room to spare, with flexible and strong limbs, in our cushy chairs. Aaaahhh.....war is tough. Much tea is needed.

Let's never give up, k? Let's be WELL!

...

I support a Free Internet

E2E Midweek Update: Fighting through the Fog with Laughter and Simpler Food...

Note: I added "tables of content" to the left and right sidebars, so folks can see at a glance what is contained WHERE on this site. I know scrolling down can be tedious. This way, you are better oriented. Hope it helps.

I was gonna do the update tomorrow, but I wanted to do it early as I want to put up my review and giveaway post tomorrow (or Thursday, if I feel blah and flake). So, heads up for those who want a chance to win the TRANSFORMATION ROAD book by weight-loss superchamp Sean Anderson. :D

And the update:

First, my challenge quotes, cause I need to READ THEM:

"The ability to discipline yourself to delay gratification in the short term in order to enjoy greater rewards in the long term is the indispensable prerequisite for success." 
~~Maxwell Maltz

" For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ~~Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

Okay, I'm mostly sleeping, reading, or ...drinking tea.

Appetite has been suppressed the last two days, which is good in one way (not tempted to overeat at all) and bad (may be a sign of seriously even-more-crapped-up metabolism)--but just may probably be a reactive consequence of a bit too much intake at the Sunday family birthday event.

I took veggie egg white frittatas (instead of a Spanish omelette, as my energy level was making me not want to peel, chop, flip, etc). I took fruit (blueberries and cherries). I took my tea and coconut water. I took gluten free millet bread to have with my sister's bocadito spread (yep, that was my indulgence.) No sweets or cake or stuff at the birthday party. But I did have lots of protein from ham, cheese, frittatas, had salad and fruit, but also more starch than I'm used to, as SIL made an eggplant-potato bake, and I had about a 1/2 cup, and that's after two slices of millet bread (30 carbs for the bread alone, not counting cherries, potato, etc). Very tasty and garlicky veggie bake, though. Really, do not regret the numsiness. Just the starchiness.

Unfortunately, having the extra starch and carbs made me hungry again a few hours later. Normally, if I have my protein/veggie/fruit meals sans starch, I just am not snacky/hungry for a looooooooooooooong time.  I had a self-indulgent blue-cheese on romaine salad with bacon bits and chopped tomato...and 3 to 3 1/2 ounces of beef fillet with green beans and a ton of fluids. The salt alone in that salad was self-indulgent, never mind the calories. At least it was not a starchy meal.

That was Sunday. Could have been better!

I slept oodles Monday, ate lightly. Slept 9 hours last night, and forced myself to get up and not just doze away... and decided to do something about my hair. Energy level was suppressed, so I hadn't been as careful with hair grooming. Clarified, conditioned, and I'm back to looking like myself, which always helps. :)


I'm trying to keep my mood up, cause whether it's thyroid issues or other hormonal stuff, depression has been a bane in my life since age 9. I've been perky and happy and upbeat for a good spell now, and what a blessing! I do not want this to turn into the black dog visiting again.

Whatever is the cause of the low energy and high-need-for-sleep--and without further examination, it could be thyroid, anemia, pre-depressive hormone wackiness, or winter, who the hell knows?--is not gonna defeat me. I keep talking positive. Made an appointment with primary doc for Friday to get new Rx's (I'm out of some refills).

My main concern, other than "Please, do not let this be a return of the depression that fell of me beautifully back in 2010", is regain. I am fine maintaining. Was chatting with middle sis, and the truth, I told her, is I could stay this weight and be fine. I look in the mirror and feel good. I see my reflection in shop windows when I go out walking, and think, "Nice."

Regain, though, would bum me out. Right now, I'm pretty careful 98% of the time. Family events tend to be when I slack a bit (not a lot). Sunday was an aberration, which I chalk up to whatever is weirdly going on with my body and the effect of starch along with mood. I simply don't get very hungry much these days, so eating more than my usual feels..."unlike me". Like someone else.

And I want to stay that way. I want smaller, simpler meals to BE ME...for the years to come. Simple. Smaller. Cleaner.

Okay, so my update is basically, "Hanging on with hope. Not doing badly, but not doing optimally."

And keeping the laughter up. THIS HELPED. Lord, that was a funny manga. Am looking forward to updates. Hey, we find our giggles and guffaws where we can! :)

I look forward to feeling zippy again when I wake up. To sleeping 8 hours not 10 or 12. To seeing more progress...or no loss of progress. To being the new me...not revert to an old me. Because new me ..I like her. :D

Hope my fellow challengers are doing well. I simply am not hitting your blogs much with the vimless state upon me. So, please take good care of each other...and be well.

UPDATE:  Talked myself out of the droopies and went for a 30 minute brisk walk. Gotta admit---it was therapeutic. Even got a wolf whistle. hah. Felt good to move. Soothing mentally, invigorating physically (some). I have enough mojo to go hit the supermarket. To this funk, I say, "Drop dead, you annoying beeyotch. "

E2E Upated #2: Meh

Intial Weight: 183.0
Initial Waist: 36


Current Weight: 181.2
Current Waist: 35

Weight is up 1/2 pound from last week. Waist is down an inch. Don't ask me, some days, I just shrug at these mysteries and move on.

Fluids: Great
Exercise goals: Not met. Feeling da funk---Walked x2. Pilates x1
Support: Yep. I did more than the minimum and kept up with Buddy's blog.
Book: Not really. Was distracted by fiction and reading the obesity research stuff online.

Have no idea why weight is up over last week other than 1. thyroid or 2. general fluid fluctuation. Except for the weird snacky day (previous mentioned,snacks listed), I've hovered around 1500 calories. No fricken way I ate more than 4000 calories.

Have a family event today, so I have to go make a Spanish Omelette (which will supplant my breakfast). Feeling like, yeah, can I go back to bed? No, okay, then lemme go peel potatoes.

I won't be doing my Monday Pilates tomorrow. Hubby is off. I will be hubbying.

Okay, not the most scintillating update. I'm just not feeling the fire. I hope you're way more flame-on than I am.

Later, peops. Be well...

My Challenge quotes:

"The ability to discipline yourself to delay gratification in the short term in order to enjoy greater rewards in the long term is the indispensable prerequisite for success."

--Maxwell Maltz

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.  

~~Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) 

E2E Challenge, Midweek Update, Week 2: Well, this sucks...and snacking is just not my pal...

Got no vim. Feel like crawling back to bed. Maybe take a book with me.

The energy curve done dipped down to the ground...

(Hmm...there's a song there somewhere...)

I made my current fave brekkie, ate 1/2, and really don't want the rest. The eggs have gone cold now..the spinach, the bit of Canadian bacon. I ate 1/3 of the orange. None of the papayas yet. Coffee, one cup down. One cup to go.

I was very snackish yesterday, and instead of having a proper dinner, just sort of had a weird array of snackyness , a bit at a time, over several hours, of the following:

PaleoCrunch "granola" with the new unsweetened Coconut Almond Breeze  for "milk" (stuff rocks, if you like coconutty taste), then two Fuji apples w/ some walnuts, then a bit of low fat cheddar (roughly 1.5 to 2 ounces),and later feta cheese and olives, topped out at around midnight by a few strips of leftover blackened chicken breast and some Beanitos gluten-free chips. Oh, and a lot of coconut water, 150 calories worth.

It's weirdly unsatisfying to me to snack, bit here, bit there. I do so much better when I just sit down and eat a dang meal!

I feel...like someone put something heavy in the air on top of my head and I'm feeling the gravitational push down, down down.

Sucks.

Anyway, my goal is just not to do the snacking thing today cause I don't feel like cooking. To simply make my food--or just order something healthful, like from the Thai place--and eat it normally, satisfyingly, and cut the snacking crap out. It can only lead to overeating...one easily loses track of the snacky stuff, I find. Well, maybe you don't; but I do.

I'm gonna try to get enough mojo to walk a bit. I am not feeling it. I wanna just...nap.

To my fellow E2E challengers: My lack of zip means it's EVEN MORE IMPORTANT you keep track of your buddy. I can't keep up, even the normal amount I would when I felt great. It's up to YOU to stay on top of it, so I don't have to. I should not be the one to remind buddies to update, make sure a link is in by deadline, etc. So, please, look after one another. Right?

Okay, gonna drink my green tea, try to finish more of my breakfast so I don't get overly hungry too soon.

I want my VIM BACK!  Do you hear me body. I am telling you to heal up, charge up, get your endocrine ways on the right path, and get me all up and zippy. Hear that? Yeah, you hear me. Now, get cracking!

Hoping your day is full of some good energy mojo. Be well....

And stay tuned for my review/book giveaway....(it's coming, it's coming!)

Bloated, Down-shifted, and Cold? Oh, thyroid, where are thou?..."DIG FOR VICTORY" a good message then; a good message now (with pics)...and yeah, I like metaphors, always...Hanging upside down in Pilates-style (with pic)...Plus, a fellow fatfighting blogger's book will be given away by me in a different sort of "giveaway", so you can TRANSFORM, too--read about it here.

Anyway, not feeling like my usual vim and chipper self..physically. And that affects me...emotionally. But I refuse to cave to the vagaries of hormones and am fighting to keep that fighting spirit.

I've been taking my morning temps. Last summer, they were running in the low 98s.

This past week, they've been running from 97.0 to 97.5. Today, 97.3.

This just convinces me further the thyroid is not doing its job. This also might explain the stall/plateau/sort of standing still. Maybe even the salt and sushi cravings (a desire for iodine, to which I'm sensitive?)

Whatever. I have to wait until Feb 3, and my experience with endocrinologists are all over the map--from horrid-horrid-beyond-horrid to pretty darn good. It's depressing to have to do your own damn medical research and take in print-outs to get them to listen sometimes (I won't even go into the beyond-horrid one, who should have been made to retire, quite frankly). Doctors are so cued into numbers, the labs, that they overlook other factors. We thyroid gals know that when symptoms persist, despite labs, it's time to look DEEPER. For me, being in range is very narrow.

VERY NARROW...I feel symptomatic where other folks feel fine. I feel fine and normal when others might be hyper in range.

And I suspect I'm not a good converter of T4, cause I felt so much radically better when Cytomel was added into the therapeutic mix. OMG, like a whole galaxy's span better. Depression totally lifted and hasn't come back yet. Amazing. So..yeah, don't go by just those numbers (which get changed and refined with years.) Listen to what your symptoms and body tell you, research, and discuss. And if the doc ain't a good listener, move on to another.

Seriously. Docs aren't always on top of this.
~~~

Okay, so, what's that "DIG FOR VICTORY" thing in my blog post title? It's a slogan from WWII.  Britain needed to feed itself, so victory gardens--digging like mad--was needed. There was a ditty, too:

Dig! Dig! Dig! And your muscles will grow big
Keep on pushing the spade
Don’t mind the worms
Just ignore their squirms
And when your back aches laugh with glee
And keep on diggin’
Till we give our foes a Wiggin’
Dig! Dig! Dig! to Victory"

I don't think it's a stretch at all to see we fatfighters are in a war, and we've got to have strategies, weapons, resilience, endurance, fitness for the battles, contingency plans for suprise attacks, and an ultimate inspiring vision of victory. And day to day, we gotta work on it. And day to dig, we gotta dig...dig..dig. For the reasons we overeat. For the motivation to go on. For the strength to just get through each day.

But it's not just metaphorical. It's FOR REAL. We dieters need to learn to love that stuff that gets grown in dug-up soils. Veggies. Fruits. Nature's supplements. Nature's dessert. Colors and vitamins and minerals and fiber and water...all bound together. With fewish calories. Yep. That's reality...learn to love veggies. (Doesn't everyone already like or love fruit? Probably. But most folks I know don't eat a whole lotta veggies. That's crazy!)

Here, my stovetop with my organic goodies and my dining room table, on which we don't eat, but I use to hold my freggies... in snapshots I took last week, but I forgot to upload:

organic haul including kale, celery, daikon radish,
persimmons, and crimson gold apples

my dining room table, which I use to hold produce,
such as my citrus goodies, a squash, and some grape tomatoes.
You might spy the top of an unsweetened cocoa cannister
and some brown rice pasta (Tinkyada, no gluten)

I have a little reminder--courtesy of Beth from OBESITY STRIKE blog, thanks, babe, and I hope you are doing well, really! A small bit of china with weight. History. Metaphor. War. All in one little green cup that holds, fittingly,  my organic decaf green tea, as shown in these pics of my brekkie today:

Breakfast today: a Cara Cara navel orange
(organic and beyond yumsy)
A multi-veggie-ham-pastrami-feta omelette on a bed
of organic wilted spinach. Fresh coffee. Fresh green tea.
Water, supplements. (The little bottle is my EZ Sweetz,
the sweetener I use in my coffee. Sucralose.)

DIGging in FOR VICTORY, baby!!!!
My sluggish metabolism ought to benefit from the green tea.
Good stuff to get used to drinking, I figure. :D

 So, that was food stuff.

Exercise:

Yesterday, I did my hour long Pilates session, which culminated in some inverted stuff (which will explain clearly why I don't have solid food prior to Pilates, and just have about 150 to 200 cals of whey protein in water or almond milk and some tea and water to stay hydrated). Here be I, heels over head:

Just hanging around...

That actually feels pretty good, stretches out the stiff old hips of mine.

Then I went for my 30 minute brisk walk.

I'm trying not to let the vim-lessness overwhelm me. :D

Okay, so lastly, but not leastly, BOOK GIVEAWAY (well, as long as it stays Prime-eligible, cause that's what I us).  I'm gonna be putting up my review of TRANSFORMATION ROAD in the next couple days--honestly, I'm so lazy about writing it already, but it's the lethargy. I can seem to spit out my thoughts easily enough here, but to focus for a decent review seems harder.

Some of you already know Sean from his astounding journey as documented on THE DAILY DIARY OF A WINNING LOSER, his weight loss blog. He's lost an immense amount of weight and turned into a total cutiepie. Yes, feel free to go over to his blog, gaze upon his cutiepieness, and drool. Sean has written a book--TRANSFORMATION ROAD--that is a way honest detailing of his journey. A memoir of change from crazy butt obese to not obese hottie. And more than a body changes, I can tell you. (Y'all know this, right, when you start to change the outside, inside gets overhauled, too, sometimes a bit, sometimes A LOT.)

It's available on Amazon, and the winner of my giveaway gets it via Amazon, so you need to be 1. in an Amazon Prime area, meaning probably the continental US and 2. willing to cough up your snail mail addy to me to send it to you if you win. Sorry to the folks who aren't eligible. I simply am not willing to pay additional postage. I gots Prime. I use it. It's not available for Kindle (why? why?) or I'd offer it to anyone willing to read it in e-format (Kindle, Kindle Fire, Kindle Cloud). But, oh, well, sorry.

If you'd like a chance to win the book, leave a comment UNDER THE POST WITH THE REVIEW THAT IS TO COME. NOT THIS POST. KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR THE REVIEW. POST YOUR GIVEAWAY REQUEST THEN, on THAT POST, not this one. Is that clear?

Posts for the book offer under this post will be utterly disregarded. :D

You will need to tell me in that comment why you need to read a "transformation' memoir (ie, why or how it will help you)...and also leave me your blog url (if your blog comments go to your email, that way I can reach you) or your email proper.  (I recommend you disguise your email like "JaneDo atsy gmail dotsy com" or somesuch.)

Got it? Gotta be Prime Eligible zone. Gotta leave a comment with a why. Gotta leave a way for me to reach you.

This won't be a random giveaway. This will be a, "I liked your comment as to the why you need the book, so here you go." Person who I figure will benefit most, that person gets the book. :D  (Only if there is a tie between 2 or more persons in my mind, only then will I hit the random generator doohickey.)

I'm letting you know about it here so you have time to go check out Sean's blog, his book on Amazon, and see if it will, indeed, help you. :D  We clear?

Good.

Now, go and transform a little today. And...be well.

E2E Challenge Update #1: One week and 2.4 lbs down..but slacked on exercise, says this sleepy chickie!

Tanita-San: 180.6
Waist: 36 in

Initial Challenge Weight: 183 lbs
Initial Waist: 36 in

"The ability to discipline yourself to delay gratification in the short term
 in order to enjoy greater rewards in the long term is the indispensable
 prerequisite for success."
~~Maxwell Maltz

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
~~Jeremiah 29:11

Okay, I figured I'd put my quotes in on top, instead of last, this time. :)

I didn't do as great in the discipline stuff. Part was just being sleepy and a bit more tired than usual--like I said in a previous post, I suspect my thyroid hormone levels have inched out of my ideal range, and all I need is a small blip to start being a dozy gal. I've been sleeping about 12 hours, one day I sawed a whole heap o' logs: 14 hours worth.  Yeah, something's up. I don't like it.

I'm assuming the loss is mostly, way mostly, some water loss due to decreasing calories a bit (not much, since I didn't have much to cut to be at 1400-1500).  Let's see what this week brings.

We finished our holiday celebrations yesterday, exchanging gifts and eating some traditional Cuban and Puerto Rican foods for a post-There King's Day feast. I didn't go hog-wild. :) I did eat something with trans-fats--normally, I avoid those like the plague--because I was told they were cooked in "manteca"--ie, lard--and I'm fine with traditional animal fats (lard, tallow). They are pretty stable fats.

But when I ventured into the kitchen, I saw the huge container and it said "vegetable shortening". That stuff is pure crap in a can. 100% gonna inflame your arteries and lead you straight to bad heart-juju land. Well, it was done.

Thankfully, I had a minimal serving and called it a day, ate the fruits and nuts I brought to snack on. Came home and swallowed a BATTERY of anti-inflammatory supplements to try to counteract the hydrogenated oil mess in my body--Quercetin, Turmeric, Vit C, Resveratrol, Omega 7, DHA, Tocotrienols. I drank green tea, too.

Okay, fluids wise: Great.

Books: I actually dipped into some of REFUSE TO REGAIN, a refresher book for me, but set my selected challenge books aside to read two by Gina Kolata (RETHINKING THIN, and ULTIMATE FITNESS). I highly recommend the former, RT. OMG, that was an amazing read, and only stresses how much one has to put into this or one is doomed. DOOMED. So, since I refuse to be doomed, it's focus, focus, focus and change, change, change and being a "radical" about my food environment. And with keeping up with obesity research.

Support: I got in touch with my buddy(Hi, Jordan!) and we let each other know out primary needs. I resolved to comment on her blog posts this week, and have done so. I commented on several other challenger blogs, and do try to be specific and encouraging. The challenge is off to a good start, organizational wise, after a bit of a bobble the first couple days due to a change in roster and a life crisis for one of our gals. All better now.

Exercise: Did NOT meet goals. I had on Pilates session, and cancelled another due to hubby having a holiday. I walked 2x only (not 4). I slept alot..which burns puny numbers of calories. I danced a bit, but didn't keep track of minutes. I slacked.
Optimism is not diminished.

I did fit into my new cheapo Wal-Mart size 14 jeans that didn't fit when I was up to 184 point something during the holidays. Bloat is subsiding. They fit well, and I wore them with a new top yesterday. Felt super pretty, too. And that's priceless! And, dumb me, forgot to take pics. I would have liked pics, too! Shoot!

I'm not feeling at all like quitting. And even if I FELT like quitting, I would not. I just have less vim --for whatever body reason--and my mental work will be to keep my psyche high until I can see the doc in Feb to sort this out. Hopefully, it's transitory, not a big thyroid pooper of a phase, cause that can make me regain, and that would really tick me off. (Hear me, body o' mine. Behave!)

The year has started with goals, dreams, and commitment. I want to shine in 2012. Let's do it!

Update 1 done.  Let's cheer each other on without flagging.

Be well, peops!

Making bits of progress, linky for E2E is up, and one of the world's most healthful foods...but I ain't gonna eat it, sorry! And happy Feast of the Epiphany!!

Tanita-san: 180.4  
Challenge start 12/31: 183

The linky tool for the E2E is up now. If you updated early, please go add your url. If your buddy is indisposed/out of town/etc, make sure to enter their url/name/email for them, if they need you to do this. :D

Anyone whose a manga/anime otaku like me knows about natto. It's sticky!!!  (Truly, it's hilarious when they show uber-sticky natto in manga, gooey strings of the stuff from bowl to chopsticks and, in gag manga,  way beyond!)  Behold, GINTAMA's Gintoki (a comedic samurai) is natto-gooed in the pic above.

I also know about it also from reading about its health benefits. I actually take a supplement that derives its cardiovascular health supplementy goodness to nattokinase.

But even thinking about eating it gives me goosebumps. Here, take a look. (I'd add it to the post, but Blogger is being annoying and won't let me. It's been glitchy for months now. Blogger, what is your defect!)

I think all that stirring likely burns some calories, though. 100 times? Yeah, gotta burn some.

Who knows? I might like it. I don't like the slimy LOOK of it, but might like the taste. I love cheese, after all, even stinky ones like blue cheese and gorgonzola and aged parmesan.

And one day I might be brave enough to give it a go. We have places here in Miami that offer the stinky stuff up for your enjoyment.

This is like the opposite of my situation with omega-3 rich fish. I'd love to eat it. I can't. (severe seafood allergy, to fish and shellfish) UNFAIR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Is there some super-healthful food you refuse to eat? Why? Smell? Appearance? Taste? Is there any you can't eat, like me and fish?

Let me know.

Today is the Feast of the Epiphany, the day afater the 12th day of Christmas or Twelfth Night.  As a kid, I got a present under my bed on this feast day. I left straw and water for the magi's camels on 12th Night, and they left me a...well, a Bugs Bunny guitar one feast day in the 60's. :D I loved that bunny guitar!

Have an epiphany of your own in 2012 to help your health. Read your book(s) and blogs and articles and magazines and think, meditate, ponder. Self-introspect, then look around. Find the star that leads you on...The revelation will come...just as it did for the Magi. But you have to seek it across all sorts of terrains....keep going!

Happy Friday. Be well...

NOTE: If you are a successful maintainer after losing a lot of weight, please add your blog url to my previous post. I really want folks to have your blog as a resource. Of if you have a book, a webpage, a facebook page, knock yourself out. Put it in a comment in the PREVIOUS post, thanks.

How To Be The Statistical Anomaly...a few insights in an article, 3 book resources, several blogging masters at loss & maintenance, and a call for links. Cause we should learn from the champs!

Note: I republished, as I added more info and links.

Most who lose weight will regain. The vast majority. FACT.

What do those who keep it off do right? Here's one article addressing that.

See the book THIN FOR LIFE to see several people who lost and kept it off. And how they do it. And the Google Books preview lets you read a bit of the book, including the list and explanation of the TEN KEYS that the "masters" use to keep it off.

Books aimed at maintainers--Previously Overweight persons--are not numerous. At least, I sure haven't found a whole lot. Back in 2010, when I was looking for maintenance success and maintenance related stuff to prep myself--yes, I wanted to see how they did it, believing I'd get there one day--pretty much it was REFUSE TO REGAIN, THIN FOR LIFE (that I owned since the first edition), and JOINING THE THIN CLUB (which, really, I didn't like much, and certainly didn't value or reread like I did the other two I've mentioned.)

Refuse to Regain has 12 rules. Thin for Life has 10. I like lists. :D

Blogs with successful maintainers include Roni's Weigh, Keeping Off 200 Pounds, Keeping the Pounds Off, among several excellent ones. (See my blogroll, sidebar right, for some links.)

Among my fatfighting pals, Karen of Sunshine's Heart and Anne H of Carb Tripper are also maintainers out there, working it, learning, adapting, fighting the fight.

I hope to feature some of the "masters" at maintenance--those at a stable goal weight for several years-- in the future. I'm thinking I may beg them to let me interview them and feature interviews. Me, baby, I'm interested in the folks GETTING IT DONE! I want to learn from MASTERS....

If you've kept your weight loss off for several years...what are you doing to make sure it stays off? Tell us! Link us to your blog!

E2E Challenge, Week One: Midweek Update and pics of the American Food Obessions vs My Brekkie

Starting weight: 183.0
Today, Tanita-san: 181.4

I'm guessing it's way lower than I expected or it would be normally at this stage cause I weighed in late in the day : 5pm.

I've been sleeping a lot and feeling a might lethargic. Made an appointment to see the endocrinologist (soonest available, Feb 3). I'm having some slight chills, some eye/facial "masky"  puffiness, a bit of hair loss, and with the extra sleep, it adds up to symptoms of my thyroid maybe being wacky. Maybe. Could be something else that will sort out.

We'll see in a month.

Hubby and I enjoyed out days together for the holiday, which ended yesterday when he went back to work. Boohoo.

Back to normal life.

I walked my 30 minutes yesterday. It was chilly and I had two tops and a quilted vest and put on my biking gloves (no bike, but got the gloves in hopes) to keep the fingers a bit protected. Beautiful afternoon for a walk. I plan to walk after I have breakfast (yeah, at 5pm, hahahah). I'm not feeling peppy, but walk I must. I'd rather sit and read a nice romantic manga or finish up my urban fantasy novel.

I get annoyed when I get junk mail from the USPS these days. In the past, I'd often snip/clip the restaurant coupons. But do I get ones for healthy eateries? No. This is what was in the mail:

Dunkin Donuts, Burker King, Arby's, and Popeye's
peddling junk food to me..and ProActiv to take
care of the zits that would result, I guess.
Mail as a marker of the American food obsessions...

 But what I'm gonna eat is this:

2 pasteured organic eggs, fried in 2 tsp Ghee with
2 cups wilted spinach and 1/4 cup 2% cheddar under them.
3 slices Canadian Bacon; fresh papayas with lime juice.
freshly made iced green tea and fresh brewed coffee.
Multivitamin and supplements to follow.:D
2 cups of water preceded all this. Keeping hydrated!

So, that's the continuing plan. Reject the food environment "out there", create my own food environment. Part of that is picking up my organic coop share today at 7pm. In time to enjoy with dinner's chicken breasts. The share this week includes daikon radish. I"ve eaten this--at Japanese restaurants--but never had to cook it myself. A mini-veggie-adventure, I guess. Looking forward to the Concorde pears (myf ave!) and the organic blueberries (which I adore with Fage 2% yogurt and freshly cracked organic walnuts, which I still have some from last week's share.)


Okay, we go on. And here are my challenge quotes, to keep me focused. Remember to add your quotes when you do your two weekly challenge updates, fellow challengers. Be well...

"The ability to discipline yourself to delay gratification in the short term in order to enjoy greater rewards in the long term is the indispensable prerequisite for success."

--Maxwell Maltz

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.   ~~Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) 

"Finding Satisfaction in God, Not Food, Part 1" radio program aired today...and yeah, we churchfolk are fattening up along with the nation (sometimes worse than). Can churches kindly resolve to stop feeding us crap, please? My soul and body thank you in advance!

I know several of my fellow fatfighters have read, are reading, or have on their to-be-read lists the book MADE TO CRAVE . (I have it on my NOOK Color, heheh). Are you?

Well, the author of that book, Lysa TerKeurst was on Focus on the Family today. Lysa is one of a long line of Christian ladies who have addressed the weight/food cravings/bingeing/eating disorders.

I remember Neva Coyle in my youth with FREE TO BE THIN--and yeah, hers was the first book I bought as a chubby believer wanting the fat gone. Neva regained the weight. Got gastric bypass. And who knows where she is weight-wise today, as she seems to have stopped talking or writing about it. I remember Stormie Omartian talking about ED, encouraging fasting,  addressing weight loss, and modeling her exercise-friendly, prayerful lifestyle. I even had her video and used it in my workouts. And it goes on and on...and our nation and churchfolk get fatter and fatter in the pews--although I guess you get kicked out of Gwen Shamblin's church if you do, snort. (And yes, I eve tried the intuitive plan of Weigh Down, which was part of me figuring out that Gwen and Geneen's way was not meant to be for me, as I intuitively wanted to eat everything in sight.)

Fat hits the faithful, too, and sometimes more than the non-believers.

Southern Baptists run large, say the surveys on this matter. Having spent 25+ years as a member of a SBC church before we went non-denominational, I know how those potluck suppers of super-fattening casserole fare and those spaghetti and garlic bread missionary fund-raising suppers tempt and waylay the dieters. Donuts and guava pastries beside the Sunday School coffee carafes--that's killing us. Geesh.

I'm begging our church leaders--cut that crap out of the agenda! Put out fresh fruit and nuts, maybe. Or maybe just some toast or oat bran rolls for the grain eaters, a bit of ham or cheese cubes, even, for the lowcarbers, instead of donuts and danishes. If it's a budget thing, then, shoot, take refreshment donations or tell folks to bring healthy fare to share. Maybe add a suggestion list of "happy snacks" to the bulletin or newsletter.  :D

I know that when we find our future home church, I'm bringing my own snacks. I cannot trust the church to be responsible in what it lays out. Me and my bag o' goodies will spread the healthy word.

Seriously, if we're gonna preach what is health and healing for the soul, then we ought to stop serving up what leads to disease and obesity for the body. We need to stop fueling gluttony and irresponsible--even sinful-- food choices. I mean, we're big on not laying spiritual stumbling blocks to the "weaker" brother and sister. Then why do we lay out all these diet stumbling blocks to our brother and sisters with diabetes, heart disease, and who are trying so hard, year after year, to heal their obesity?

Healthy bodies, healthy souls, healthy minds. I'm all about getting it ALL cleaned up and strong. The church really needs to get behind this.

You know, even just stop laying out food at all. What? People can't get through 1 to 3 hours  (depending on the church) without food? Eat at home, come full, and eat lunch after. Really, people, you won't die without snacks in that short of time. And if for medical reasons you need to eat frequently, BRING YOUR FOOD. :D

Yep, stop spending money on snacks, and that's more money for the missionaries or the food kitchen/pantry for the community or for that family with a laid-off dad or mom. Seriously, we need to move away from our dependence on constant food provision.

For those of us who follow certain creeds,  it's not just calories and push-ups and miles walked. It's addressing gluttony and sloth. It's spiritual. We have to address soul and mind and body..cause that's how we see our humanity. Not just brain and bone...spirit and soul...all affecting each other.

If you normally listen to FoF and missed the show, or if this is of interest to you at all--& be aware, this is a conservative Christian program, consider yourself informed--you can hear part one on the FOF website. I guess they know a whole lotta listeners in the Christian community made those weight loss resolutions on January 1.  :)

On we go...fighting the good fatfight

New Year's Then, New Year's Now, and a Sobering Read To Center Me For The Tough Road in 2012...And if you're starting a New Year's "Resolution" Diet, face the cold, hard facts about failure. BUT HEY, let's work to be one of the few, few, fortunate freaks who succeed!

January 1, 2012: 183 lbs

Red accents, signature natural curls,
skin-tight DKNY top, 183 lbs on 51 year-old bones.
Regained 5 lbs, and got my invisible fight gloves on...

This is in contrast to every other year in the new millenium, when I was over 200, and mostly SERIOUSLY over (as in obese, morbidly obese, crazy butt obese). Here's a snapshot of three consecutive "first days":

January 1, 2010: 267

January 1 2011:  235

January 1, 2012: 183

I spent the 90's obese, so I'm weighing what I did in the late 80's. Still overweight...but way better than my high of 299 in 2004. Click my page tab --Progress Pics--to see me at those previous weights.

I have done this look back thing before on January 1. It's a way to see if I'm standing still, fatwise, or moving forward. 2010 and 2011 were years of learning and progress, rather than just standing still.

2012 is gonna be a superhard year. People often think it's the main losing phase that's the hardest. No, it's the NOT REGAINING and maintaining losses that's hard. Here's testimony of how easy it is to just...start regaining.

Even though I have more I want to lose, my main focus in 2012 is NOT TO REGAIN WHAT I HAVE LOST through the evolving change in my food and movement habits and persistent focus and hard work --- emotional and mind and spirit work.

Naturally lean people have no idea how hard this is. NOT ONE CLUE. Their genetically blessed pedestal keeps them out of the muck we have to slog through. They eat to satiety and maintain normality.

Ah, if only that were my lot. Just minor attention to diet details, and voila. I'm normal.

In my dreams.

We must be hypervigilant at first, vigilant all times thereafter--with occasional phases of renewed hypervigilance, too. That is our lot,   all of us prone to fat or once-obese. Ours is a lifelong struggle that all the researchers out there continually report we are likely--very, very likely--to fail at. Regain is the norm. Keeping it off is an anomaly.

I want to be that anomaly.

What that takes is a focused and lifelong dedication to fighting our instinct to eat, fighting against the stresses and busyness  that interfere with food planning/cooking and exercising and journaling and meditation--all those strategies we employ. What it takes is sometimes accepting a weight higher, way higher, than we ideally want, because it's what we can reasonably sustain.

Some things are never gonna be ideal. And some things are never gonna be carefree and easy.

Keeping weight down will never be easy for most of us, and never be carefree. We can dream it, hope and pray it, but this is combat. Neverending combat.

If that scares you, good. Be scared. As you start your "New Year's Resolution Diet"--kow the reality of it. Face it. Accept it. Take off the rosy sunglasses and stare at it. You will likely fail. You must want desperately to win and that desperation must hound your feet for life or relapse cometh.

I want to be scared of regain, and I want to hold on to my losses so much that I do NOT slack off and lose focus.

I will never be lean like the blessed slim. I know it. Instinctively. Historically. Know it.

But I can be a healthier me that is not impeded by, stifled from, shrouded in fat.

The road ahead is bumpy, steep, tricky, often foggy, sometimes menacing, packed with minefields and pitfalls and highwaymen aiming tempting morsels with one hand and trying to steal our resolve with the other,  but it also has lovely flowers, shady fruit trees, kind companions, guardian angels, and amazing sunrises.

I'm scared. And I'm psyched.

To stay scared, I'm reading RETHINKING THIN.  It's a six buck bargain book right now on Amazon, and if you even slightly believe you've got this in the bag, it's a snap (ie, honeymoon diet phase), you need to read this.

To stay psyched, I have my challenge books--REFUSE TO REGAIN, THE SMARTER SCIENCE OF SLIM, and SWITCH. All of them are rereads, which shows how much I value the info there in, and how much we simply need to apply what we already know, review and reapply. Two helped me in 2010. One is a newer read for me, from a couple months back.

This week, keep an eye for my review of TRANSFORMATION ROAD by Sean Anderson, a fellow blogging fatfighter (and cutiepie!)  He's one of those kind travellers along this hard, hard, beautiful road.

The odds say we're gonna turn back, leave the path, and pile on the fat again.

Our hopes and prayers and actions must continually say, "I will beat these terrifying odds. I will find a way, and I will not lose heart."

I was given my "word" for the year...and it's a phrase this year, in contrast to all my other years in this millenium. It's this phrase: "open doors". I will post on it later on...the ramifications of this phrase...

May God be with us...with many, many amazing doors opening up for us by His grace and mercy....