Thursday, February 9, 2012

E2E Midweek Update #6: Not doing so good here....

I thought I had missed the appointment with the low mood that usually comes with the thyroid out of range...but I was wrong. It just took a later train. It's been a struggle for a couple days.

I went to get my hair cut, hoping that would be cheery. My hairdresser noticed the thinning spots. BUT..she said the "shoots" are there. So, it is growing out. I'm focusing on the positive here, the positive. (I got shoots! Yay!)

I've upped my carbs (for the brain glow). Well, this sucks. I am not cheery at all. Hate feeling like this.

For the first time since June of 2010, I woke up and wanted to just not do a damn health thing. I wanted to just say "to hell with it".

Of course, I'm not gonna quit. But the fact that I FELT LIKE IT is distressing.

Anyway, I had my whey protein pre-Pilates, and now I"m sipping my tea, trying to muster the energy to go shower and dress for my workout. I just want to crawl back into bed. I want to just go "recluse". I want to nap for a month.

OH, well, we fight on, even when we don't want to. I expect I'll be spending some intense prayer time. And I'll likely not be posting until the next update. I just don't even feel like turning on the computer.

I walked once, 40 mins. I had one Pilates session, one hour. I was fine calorically, until yesteday, when I went 550 cals OVER ( raw vegan flax seed crackers (non-gluten) with hummus, cucumber yogurt with dill, and a Larabar...not junk food,  but too many calories AFTER I had my chicken-sweet potato-pineapple supper).  Fluids were low yesterday. I just sort of dragged around and wasn't drinking. Very not-me.

I did pick up my organic co-op share, so I have chard, sweet taters, apples, strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, romaine, tangerines, bananas, broccoli and cauliflower. I gave the beets away to the coordinator. Figured I wasn't gonna eat em and they'd go to waste.

Now, to pump myself up to prep them. I feel like....yeah....crap. Sleepy, droopy, flat.

I hope you are all in a wonderful place and glowing. Unlike me.

But I have faith I'll get my shine back on. I believe in my second guiding quote (the verse). I hold onto it.

Later... be well...

"The ability to discipline yourself to delay gratification in the short term in order to enjoy greater rewards in the long term is the indispensable prerequisite for success." 
~Maxwell Maltz
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 
~Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

13 comments:

Karen Butler Ogle said...

Princess, You are a dear sweet lady and you have been right there to cheer me on through the worst. I know that you can move past this and get your drive and enthusiasm back. I know how you are feeling. I have been hiding from the world for weeks now trying to pretend there is nothing wrong. You are stronger than that. I have seen it and I am going to be remembering you in my thoughts and prayers. You will make it. I know you will. Give yourself a day or so to rest and regain your strength and then get back on the horse. I know you can do it. Hugs. :)

Julie said...

Time to just get your chin up and move those buns. I have the thyroid issues too and I know how things can seem to drag on and on but for me I just can't not move. I have kids and buses and parents and family and .... well you know, that I just have to keep going so my dear so do you. I have a spot that is covered up with longer hair on my left side that is my balding spot but Terri said it's looking better the last time she trimmed my mop so things are improving. I am hoping this last up in dose for me gets me back too where I feel normal again too. So just keep going Mir, you are such an amazing person and have such will power you can do this.
Take care and have a blessed afternoon.

Angela Pea said...

Dang, I'm so sorry to hear you're dragging. I'm also encouraged to hear that you're pushing onward and upward! Get up, prep that produce and keep going. You KNOW you're going to do this!

Oh, and what's the grief with beets? Mmmmm...beets! I know they're super high in sugar, so I only have them occasionally, but oh my, I love roasted beets!

Floriana said...

Oh, that sucks, Princess! Sorry you are feeling down. Thyroid problems are not fun. Not at all.

Carbs never cheered me up, never experienced that high that I hear mentioned so often. One food that lifts my mood is beef liver. Yeah, I know, totally now what one would expect. Heard it first from Chris Masterjohn, was skeptical, but after I tried it, it always worked for me.

I can't eat flax seed crackers without overeating them, so I stay away. That and nut butters. Healthy in theory, but too good to eat reasonably. Well, I am sure some people can handle it, not me. Back to you, though, 550 cals is high, but not terribly so. Nothing you can't overcome quickly. The negative thoughts are more dangerous, but knowing you I am certain you will overcome those quickly, too. I think the down periods are inevitable, caused by thyroid or just life in general. It happens. It's part of being human.

Hang in there, Princess. (((hugs)))

Steph said...

Hola! I'm very, very sorry you're feeling crappy. I am hypothyroid, too, and I've been in the total thyroid funk more than once.

What has helped me enormously is pretty much cutting out goitrogens. Even though in some foods they are neutralized somewhat by cooking, they are still in there. A lot of foods you mentioned here are goitrogens - strawberries, chard, broccoli, cauliflower and sweet potatoes. If the crackers have millet, that (apparently) becomes more goitrogenic when cooked. Goitrogens Inhibit thyroid function. If anyone is interested, search for goitrogens list - so many fabulous foods are on it, dang it! Even spinach!

I don't cut them out completely, but I don't go out of my way to eat them. This makes our family farm share a drag, as my husband is not a big vegetable guy, and neither are my sons, so often I'm giving a lot of our share away!

Anyway, this is what works for me. Thyroid much more perky, weight down, energy up, hair no longer falling out, and my doctor is offering to bring my meds down for the first time in forever. It might not work for everyone, but I offer it as (non-goitrogenic) food for thought.

Caron said...

I hope things improve for you soon and you feel peppy again. :)

Anne H said...

Sending you all the hugs in the world and sunshine and happy thought!
There's gonna be daze like this, for sure.

Jo said...

Hey, Princess, it's just another cycle just like all the other cycles of our lives. I'm so glad you feel like posting, though, and I hope you continue to read. It's been a few days since you started your meds, so every day behind you is closer to them getting you straightened out, no? And the carbs? Don't make me kick your ass. You know better, and you have told me so in the past. They only end up biting you later. Be well and we are here for you.

Jordan said...

Hey Bud,
Sending good thoughts and prayers your way. And strength. I have plenty, take some of mine.

Jane Cartelli said...

Sending you hugs and praying for you in my world. We all have these days (or weeks). Sometimes I feel suckie and want to find to find comfort in my friends Ben & Jerry. But if I did that, SaraLee would get jealous pile pile all kinds of crap on my hips and butt . . . you know where I am going with this. You will keep doing what you have to do whether you want to do it or not because that is why you are a survivor and a champion on this journey. We will survive.

And if you need a religious boost, I heard this on SNL last week.

"Some new diet claims that you can lose weight with a God based diet. Of course Jesus wants you to loose weight - it is getting too hard to carry you when there is only 1 set of footprints in the sand."

Karen said...

Low thyroid and high TSH just plain sucks. I'm sorry to hear, but keep on going. Take some time to just sleep and not work out, and I know you'll keep the food in check.

The best thing I did when I was getting my thyroid adjusted was to sleep on sleepy days and walk slowly on better days. Eventually, there were fewer sleepy days and more walking days.

Good luck and you will get through this. I know you'll keep going. :)

Beth said...

Darn it, I thought you'd missed the low mood train too. I'm so sorry it's come to town, what a bummer. Have a few houseslipper days - keep it low key if that's what you feel like doing. Take it easy, you've got a reason to do it.

Did you say that it could take months for the thyroid meds to kick in? I hope that wasn't what you said but I've been worried about it all day as I'd hate to see you in a low mood, low energy for a few months. Anyway, no rush to reply, just do what you can when you can.

Hang in there, it's so hard when there's a bit of darkness looming but you can do it, you are strong and you've had lots of practice at plodding along this path.

Much love from snowy London. Mwah!

screaming fatgirl said...

It's okay to say, "screw it" for a day. It's also okay to feel down. I think sometimes we need to throw in the towel for a day to take a moment and breath before we get going in the race again.

Accept those down feelings as a part of your humanity. In fact, celebrate that you are feeling your feelings instead of eating them, and then move on when you are rested. It's all good. You're good. :-)