Thursday, August 2, 2012

The Ease with Which New Habits Fade and Old Habits Reimpose...it's Scary! AND Some Pics of Me Now at 170 lbs.

I'm still alive. :D  Stress is a daily thing and hubby is still hunting for work, but we took time yesterday to enjoy a beach worship service.

My legs, loose capris, and the gospel of Luke


The sand fleas and mosquitoes were fierce, and before we were done, lots of scratching going on--blame it on not enough wind, a flattish sea,  and the stagnantish water from the Intracoastal. The strip where the service went on was a narrow bit of beach between Intracoastal and the Atlantic.

The pastor said it was usually fine when the wind blew well. Pelicans and seagulls flew overhead and beachgoers laughed and bathed. Some swimming and paddleboarding. Some fishing off the pier. Nice to see some roped off areas where sea turtles were being protected prior to hatching. :D

I sat on a nylon bag on the sand and looked at how I've lost muscle off my legs. Seriously, I have not exercised in more than a month, and it shows. I feel less dense. I feel less strong. Bad old habit reimposed. And now I have to remotivate myself to move and recreate the nicer shape/density I had. It's tough. Nearly back to being the old slothful me. Not good.

Yes, it's THAT easy to get out of good habits. 

Hubby sat behind me, much less attacked by the wee bitey things. I guess I was his wall of protection. They were too busy munching on me.

Hubby with the Dania Beach pier behind him

After we closed the service with a worship song--"His love never fails"--I headed to the water to get some saltwater on my bites. I rolled up my loose capris and splashed water on arms and legs and then just played a bit.

beach joy

It was a lovely respite from studying, writing, job hunting, worrying. Yay for sun and water and seabirds and songs and kids laughing and encouraging words and an amazing moon rising over the ocean. (I didn't get a good pic, sigh).

Sunday I was 170.4, and then had a family thanksgiving dinner (a relative was healing well after a life-threatening event and ICU stay). I ate traditional Cuban fare--meaning not a whole lotta veggies, lots of starch, and flan. First time I have a really sugary regular dessert in ages. I forgot how good that crap is. ; )

I'm at 170.0 today. Appetite returned to normal (not binge normal, just normal for the last couple years), and I'm back to my two meals and roughly 1600 calories, not the 500-800 when the anxiety first hit.  My lowest was 168.6, and then I bounced up to 172 and back down, depending on the salt level of my foods.

So, my body is mushier sans nearly daily exercise, sans Pilates. My appetite is normalized. And I keep the faith that good things will come.

But I definitely need to set goals again for movement and not mess up after good progress.

Habits die hard if they're bad, and die easy if they're good sometimes. So, we must be on the alert. Always. Always....

God bless. Be well.




12 comments:

Deb Willbefree said...

Mir, I have just one phrase for you to meditate on and to lift to God: OPEN DOORS.

God's about to arise on your behalf.

Deb

Princess Dieter said...

Girl, it's been my go to phrase. I've been praying it and believing it. :D

Debbie said...

I love the pictures of the beach and you have done great. I would love a Worship service on the beach. Keep up the good work.

Betty WSch. said...

You are looking great Mir! Such skinny legs. I pray your hubby will find work soon and that you get your motivation for exercise back.
All the best!

Julie said...

You're beautiful! The Lord will provide. Those doors you know (I'm working on finding the open one too).
Take care Mir. God Bless you!

Bluezy said...

For with God nothing shall be impossible.
Luke 1:37

Beach bunny bible thumping beautiful!

Flan...is the best. In the movie "Envy" with Ben Stiller and Jack Black you would appreciate this clip "It's flantastic"!

Bluezy said...

http://youtu.be/JrBZfJY4UsI duh forgot the link.

Hoping the best for you and yours, as well!

Claire said...

You look beautiful...so good to see you being happy-go-lucky!

If I were to attend a worship service on the beach, I might completely fall apart. Worship always makes me emotional, and the beach is my happy place, so you can see what I mean. :D

I, too, am praying for doors to open, in agreeance with everyone else praying.

upinthecosmos said...

Muscle tone or not you've got some nice gams there Mir:-) I know what you mean on the whole "good habits die easy" thing though cause I've been working on getting those back myself & it's not been easy! The good stuff never really does come easily though so I know it's worth it to keep at it:-) You'll get there, look how far you've come already as the proof!

Val said...

You look ABFAB Mir - I LOVE that beach pic of ya!
I'm sure Hubby will turn something up soon... Best wishes, Val

Jo said...

You look great kicking about in the waves, Mir. I know what you mean about the fading muscles. So true about use it or lose it. I know your situation is going to turn around soon. I have been there, and it seemed endless, but it is not. Chin up!

Jane Cartelli said...

Beach Joy is a great photo. Your legs look fantastic. The bouncing from new habits to old to new to old is a process I still struggle with. I am learning to let go and stop fearing every ounce. First I had to understand that I needed to modulate my bounce, then I could let go of the fear and concentrate on each day and not each ounce.