I actually risked the scale yesterday: 214.2
Then today: 214.0
So, it wasn't a fluke. It is progress again. So, I am hoping that by Sunday, I can get close enough to 213 to report a 2 lb loss. (I had no loss to report last Sunday.)
I think there were multiple culprits (the medical stuff going on as I mentioned in a previous post). But there may have been another estrogen release thing. Every now and then, after the loss of some weight, I get spotting. I get like a mini-period, though I'm menopausal. It's the hormones that release with the fat, I suspect (google it). So, that could have been the plateau co-conspirator with the inflammation.
I just want the progress to continue. I hate stalls, no matter how brief. Annoying. I don't care if it's a pound a week. I want the loss when I do the fricken hard work!
If I were cheating, eating up a storm, ignoring exercise, fine. I don't deserve to lose an ounce.
But when I'm eating at caloric goal and exercising and hydrating and resting as needed, it vexes me. It's my sense of fairness and justice in play. If I overeat, I deserve to see added pounds on the scale. If I don't, I deserve to see loss.
The body doesn't work on my own system of justice. Snarf.
But fine, it's moving again. I rejoice.
Yesterday was Pilates--we did some new challenging stuff--and walking. The temperature was very pleasant in the early evening. Hubby met me halway through my walk (he got home from work, saw I was out on my exercise time, and went to catch up and walk home with me). I found that romantic. We held hands during the cool-down phase as we got close to home. Nice. Hee.
I can actually tell that the pound came from my belly fat. Hips measurement was smaller and I looked a bit more deflated in the hanging sack of my pannus. (Gross. But, hey..it is what it is.)
Seeing that lovely new number --it's now 85 lbs down--makes me want to stay on plan EVEN MORE. I feel the surge of motivation. Yes!
Anyway, not much more to add today. Do your best. Be happy and well....
Showing posts with label plateaus. Show all posts
Showing posts with label plateaus. Show all posts
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Monday, April 4, 2011
Day 57 of Phase 5: Back to Basics (which is always good periodically) Because It Is Easy For Fires To Go Out When Plateaus Hit...and I Don't Intend to Let This Fire die! AKA The Royal Game Plan for Not-Freaking During the Plateau...And a mini-rant on the DIVAFICATION of RUBY....
My official weigh-in for Phase 5 Sunday was 215. Stasis as far as the official number. A .2 lbs gain from last week's weigh-in. I'm plateaued.
When I plateau, I look at what's going on and if there is a fixable issue, I work on it. Here's what's going on:
I am using steroid creams (rash), increased my inhaled steroids (asthma, allergies), am using steroid eye drops (allergies), and added steroid antifungal ear drops (ear infection from, yes, allergies). While this is not the same steroid load as when I routinely took prednisone (egads, that sucked monkeybutt), it is absorbed into my body and it's coming from various sources (eyes, ears, skin, lungs, nasal lining). I suspect this is part of what's causing me issues.
I am also just fighting the multiple inflammatory processes that just sprang up like demons heading for spring break on my body.
Because I had some days when I just could not fathoming exercise, due to, well, not breathing much, I exercised less last week.
I'm starting to feel some relief. My rash is not driving me ubernuts with itching and scaliness. My ear pain is reduced. My nose is slightly less congested. My bronchii are a bit better, although when I exert too much, it induces an attack (which when I'm fine and dandy is not an issue unless I do stuff like, well, sprinting or superhard no-rest kind of stuff).
I want to see a loss this week. I intend to see a loss this week. So, I'll be hoping my body stops vexing me.
Meanwhile, to not lose motivation or hope or get frustrated and do something stupid (like, yes, binge), I am going back to basics. As many of you know, as you go along on an eating regimen of lower calories, you develop a number of set, useful, controlled meals--yeah, I do have set repetitive meals, meals I have measured, gotten used to, prepare quickly, are on my R.D. plan, and are no-brainers, like my veggie-egg whites plus fruit breakfast or my roast chicken breast with lightly sauteed or steamed veggies and herbs-- and I stop measuring event hose cause, well, you get used to it. I think it's those situations prone to portion creep. So, back to MEASURING and WEIGHING even the usual meals.
Today, it was that-- back to measuring. This is just to reinforce the habit of portion control once more.
I had gotten slack with journaling. I'd do maybe a few days out of the week. Not all. Again, this is something we tend to do when we're used to smaller meals and sort of eyeball what's on the plate.
Today, it was back to SparkPeople. Back to putting in every bite and spoonful and cupful and pat and sip.
I had NOT felt like blogging. I hadn't much felt like visiting blogs or commenting.
Today, I made sure to read some fellow fatfighters, comment on some blogs, and now do my blog post. I do think the staying in a blogging habit is a way to focus the mind ON THE GAME. Motivation can flag too easily. I don't want to flake.
My chest still feels like there's a critter sitting on it. But it's not a tiger anymore. It's a fat cat. So, me and the fat cat will be walking...
I went to Pilates and had a hard time in some positions (for asthmatics, sometimes it's hard to push the air OUT..and it sort of gets stuck, and more fresh air can't really get in, and this is a bad thing, yes). But I pushed on. Talked to the trainers about my plateau, and one recommended more cardio. I mentioned that for me, it's a very fine line between enough cardio (which makes me feel invigorated and energetic) and too much (which makes me crazy hungry and a bit grumpy). For now, I said, I'll wait a bit and see if things move. If they don't, then I'll consider increasing by 5 minute increments or slightly increasing pace, and see. All of it is a "let's see" for me. Don't wanna make things worse--not the breathing, the bad knees/ankle, or the appetite.
Next point: Weighing. I like to do it daily to keep tabs on my fluid retention.
I'm afraid if I get on the scale too soon and don't see it budge, I'll do something immature and stupidbutt like freak and head in 1 of 2 bad directions: 1. go on a whey fast and not eat real food for a week just to see movement on Tanita-san or 2. stuff my mouth full of whatever crap is handy just to quell the brain turmoil.
I'd rather just wait a few days or wait until the official weigh-in day and not precipitate some crazy dieter reaction. I'm not prone to crazy reactions often. But it has happened. I'm too happy being binge-free for 3/4 of a year+ to do anything to sabotage myself. So, my scale junkie needs to chill.
Next Issue: Affirmations-- I still like to rah-rah myself. But I've slacked off. My mood hasn't been as cheerful and beautiful due to being sick. So, today, I rah-rahed. and I'm gonna be doing a lot of the pom-pom waving to get the psychological circulation up and revved. I sometimes feel really stoooopid affirming myself, but I figure it's part of keeping the right mindset. So, I do it. Feeling stoopid is a small price to pay for preventing slippage into Gloom and Doom Town:
I can do it!
This is not bigger than me.
My body will respond!
I am strong! Stronger than fat!
My appetite serves me, not me it! I rule!
I plan to reread parts of my fave books--poetry, dieting, self-help, spiritual--as a way to keep my spirit up. I enjoy JOY too much to let sickness or a plateau take it from me.
I really do believe that proper actions will and must eventually yield positive results. I'm gonna reinforce basic good habits that got a bit lax as the challenge went on (measuring, journaling, affirmations) and not let this hyper-reactive immune system of mine roadblock me. Ain't gonna happen.
My eyes are on a prize, and that prize isn't NYC with the Kleins and a Christmas Tree....my eyes are on the number 186. The number at which I won't be obese anymore.
So, screw the plateau! I'm lighting fires left and right and this fat old antiquated barn is gonna burn down to a sleek modern cottage with WiFi and craftsman details.
The Princess will not be deterred...and this fat is gonna lose the siege...and this Challenger is gonna win, if not the DDDY-P5 prize, the war...
Update: Back from walk. 32 mins at a nice clip. Lovely evening with a wispy shy smile of a moon. Gorgeous sky and breeze. Happy! See, this is great for mood issues! A sweet breeze, a gentle moon, the rustle of palm trees, the fragrance of gardenias...how could I be grumpy? Sparkpeople says that my bkfst/lunch/snack have totaled 850 cals. That leaves 350 for supper. Okay. Doable! 4 more glasses of water to go to reach my fluid requirements for the Challenge. So doable. I'm off...nitey....
Update 2: RUBY is annoying me like nobody's business. I wanna slap her. And then I remember it's a reality show no longer in it's first season and she's probably used to the attention of all those trainers and counselors and camera folks and is becoming more of a diva....or she wants to create fake drama for ratings. Whatever. She's a whiny pain. Someone please remind her how fortunate she is to be making a good living from people helping her get healthy and slimmer! How many of us get multiple trainers and plush locations in which to work out? I'd have loved to do that obstacle course on the beach, even with my crap knees and bad ankle. It was a specially created course for her, with professionals begging her to try, and she just bitches and says they're mean. Oh, please. Spoiled brat is what she is. She needs to listen to her show's theme song a few times: "I can if I think I can...I can!" Lately, she's a lot of "I can't." And I wonder, really wonder, if it's fake/acting for conflict for viewers? Or is she really just a brat?
I'm not the only one annoyed with her.
I may stop watching the show altogether....or I may continue to see if RUBY looks around, realizes the shining moment she's been given to get healthy and slim, and grows the F up, stops whining, and finds her inner warrior at last.
When I plateau, I look at what's going on and if there is a fixable issue, I work on it. Here's what's going on:
I am using steroid creams (rash), increased my inhaled steroids (asthma, allergies), am using steroid eye drops (allergies), and added steroid antifungal ear drops (ear infection from, yes, allergies). While this is not the same steroid load as when I routinely took prednisone (egads, that sucked monkeybutt), it is absorbed into my body and it's coming from various sources (eyes, ears, skin, lungs, nasal lining). I suspect this is part of what's causing me issues.
I am also just fighting the multiple inflammatory processes that just sprang up like demons heading for spring break on my body.
Because I had some days when I just could not fathoming exercise, due to, well, not breathing much, I exercised less last week.
I'm starting to feel some relief. My rash is not driving me ubernuts with itching and scaliness. My ear pain is reduced. My nose is slightly less congested. My bronchii are a bit better, although when I exert too much, it induces an attack (which when I'm fine and dandy is not an issue unless I do stuff like, well, sprinting or superhard no-rest kind of stuff).
I want to see a loss this week. I intend to see a loss this week. So, I'll be hoping my body stops vexing me.
Meanwhile, to not lose motivation or hope or get frustrated and do something stupid (like, yes, binge), I am going back to basics. As many of you know, as you go along on an eating regimen of lower calories, you develop a number of set, useful, controlled meals--yeah, I do have set repetitive meals, meals I have measured, gotten used to, prepare quickly, are on my R.D. plan, and are no-brainers, like my veggie-egg whites plus fruit breakfast or my roast chicken breast with lightly sauteed or steamed veggies and herbs-- and I stop measuring event hose cause, well, you get used to it. I think it's those situations prone to portion creep. So, back to MEASURING and WEIGHING even the usual meals.
Today, it was that-- back to measuring. This is just to reinforce the habit of portion control once more.
I had gotten slack with journaling. I'd do maybe a few days out of the week. Not all. Again, this is something we tend to do when we're used to smaller meals and sort of eyeball what's on the plate.
Today, it was back to SparkPeople. Back to putting in every bite and spoonful and cupful and pat and sip.
I had NOT felt like blogging. I hadn't much felt like visiting blogs or commenting.
Today, I made sure to read some fellow fatfighters, comment on some blogs, and now do my blog post. I do think the staying in a blogging habit is a way to focus the mind ON THE GAME. Motivation can flag too easily. I don't want to flake.
My chest still feels like there's a critter sitting on it. But it's not a tiger anymore. It's a fat cat. So, me and the fat cat will be walking...
I went to Pilates and had a hard time in some positions (for asthmatics, sometimes it's hard to push the air OUT..and it sort of gets stuck, and more fresh air can't really get in, and this is a bad thing, yes). But I pushed on. Talked to the trainers about my plateau, and one recommended more cardio. I mentioned that for me, it's a very fine line between enough cardio (which makes me feel invigorated and energetic) and too much (which makes me crazy hungry and a bit grumpy). For now, I said, I'll wait a bit and see if things move. If they don't, then I'll consider increasing by 5 minute increments or slightly increasing pace, and see. All of it is a "let's see" for me. Don't wanna make things worse--not the breathing, the bad knees/ankle, or the appetite.
Next point: Weighing. I like to do it daily to keep tabs on my fluid retention.
I'm afraid if I get on the scale too soon and don't see it budge, I'll do something immature and stupidbutt like freak and head in 1 of 2 bad directions: 1. go on a whey fast and not eat real food for a week just to see movement on Tanita-san or 2. stuff my mouth full of whatever crap is handy just to quell the brain turmoil.
I'd rather just wait a few days or wait until the official weigh-in day and not precipitate some crazy dieter reaction. I'm not prone to crazy reactions often. But it has happened. I'm too happy being binge-free for 3/4 of a year+ to do anything to sabotage myself. So, my scale junkie needs to chill.
Next Issue: Affirmations-- I still like to rah-rah myself. But I've slacked off. My mood hasn't been as cheerful and beautiful due to being sick. So, today, I rah-rahed. and I'm gonna be doing a lot of the pom-pom waving to get the psychological circulation up and revved. I sometimes feel really stoooopid affirming myself, but I figure it's part of keeping the right mindset. So, I do it. Feeling stoopid is a small price to pay for preventing slippage into Gloom and Doom Town:
I can do it!
This is not bigger than me.
My body will respond!
I am strong! Stronger than fat!
My appetite serves me, not me it! I rule!
I plan to reread parts of my fave books--poetry, dieting, self-help, spiritual--as a way to keep my spirit up. I enjoy JOY too much to let sickness or a plateau take it from me.
I really do believe that proper actions will and must eventually yield positive results. I'm gonna reinforce basic good habits that got a bit lax as the challenge went on (measuring, journaling, affirmations) and not let this hyper-reactive immune system of mine roadblock me. Ain't gonna happen.
My eyes are on a prize, and that prize isn't NYC with the Kleins and a Christmas Tree....my eyes are on the number 186. The number at which I won't be obese anymore.
So, screw the plateau! I'm lighting fires left and right and this fat old antiquated barn is gonna burn down to a sleek modern cottage with WiFi and craftsman details.
The Princess will not be deterred...and this fat is gonna lose the siege...and this Challenger is gonna win, if not the DDDY-P5 prize, the war...
Update: Back from walk. 32 mins at a nice clip. Lovely evening with a wispy shy smile of a moon. Gorgeous sky and breeze. Happy! See, this is great for mood issues! A sweet breeze, a gentle moon, the rustle of palm trees, the fragrance of gardenias...how could I be grumpy? Sparkpeople says that my bkfst/lunch/snack have totaled 850 cals. That leaves 350 for supper. Okay. Doable! 4 more glasses of water to go to reach my fluid requirements for the Challenge. So doable. I'm off...nitey....
Update 2: RUBY is annoying me like nobody's business. I wanna slap her. And then I remember it's a reality show no longer in it's first season and she's probably used to the attention of all those trainers and counselors and camera folks and is becoming more of a diva....or she wants to create fake drama for ratings. Whatever. She's a whiny pain. Someone please remind her how fortunate she is to be making a good living from people helping her get healthy and slimmer! How many of us get multiple trainers and plush locations in which to work out? I'd have loved to do that obstacle course on the beach, even with my crap knees and bad ankle. It was a specially created course for her, with professionals begging her to try, and she just bitches and says they're mean. Oh, please. Spoiled brat is what she is. She needs to listen to her show's theme song a few times: "I can if I think I can...I can!" Lately, she's a lot of "I can't." And I wonder, really wonder, if it's fake/acting for conflict for viewers? Or is she really just a brat?
I'm not the only one annoyed with her.
I may stop watching the show altogether....or I may continue to see if RUBY looks around, realizes the shining moment she's been given to get healthy and slim, and grows the F up, stops whining, and finds her inner warrior at last.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Day 10 Phase 4: Where I begin to understand the seeds of the "other" kind of disordered eating, Yesterday's Challenge Particulars, and where the Princess still can't frakkin' do Push-Ups!
I had some scary thoughts in my head a couple of times yesterday...and this morning. This plateau/whatever-it-is is starting to F with my Head.
First, the background: I've never been this long on a diet. Ever. I've never had this many accumulated lost pounds stay off, ever. And I've never been anorexic, bulimic, or done the sporadic fasting or any other weird diet thing. I never did the Cabbage Diet or Food all One Color A Day diet or detox or eat only fiber cookies or any other weird thing that promises FAST FAST FAST weight loss.
Basically, I liked food too much to try anything extreme.
So, yesterday, when my brain started getting this little voice: Just stop eating. Maybe just eat dinner. How about just stay in bed, sleep all day, and don't eat anything at all.Yeah, just sleep for a day straight...
Same thing this morning with the immovable scale darkening my mood.
Don't eat breakfast. Skip lunch. Just one egg. Just water and coffee, maybe.
Okay, now I get it. I totally get how women start to do weird diet shit. I never ever understood before, but I do now. It comes on, creeps in, doesn't it?
Oh, well, I came on here to confess that, cause it scared me. And cause I am gonna go eat my sound brekkie--egg white, toast, fruit, milk-- and refuse to listen to those weird, alien, who-are-you-and-where-did-you-come-from voices.
This not-budging weight, though I'm eating at the 1200 calorie level and exercising nearly DAILY in some way, is messing with me. Really messing with my spirit.
Today, I had to drag myself out of bed. I did not wanna wake up. And this though I'm smart enough to know that I've seen dieters go through the plateaus and suffer them and eventually the shiny sky comes again and things get moving.
Intellectually, I know that. Emotionally, it's messing with me.
I behave well, so I want my damn rewards, ya know?
It ends up feeling unjust--and though this whole metabolism thing is unjust as well, just look at your pal who can eat four cows and twelve cherry pies and stay size 4-- there is a greater sense of not getting the paycheck when you did the hard work.
Hopefully, it's not a depressive episode coming on--the "stay in bed and sleep" thing is generally the first symptom for me-- cause then the whole weird voice that says to do something extreme could be a new part of the whole depressive thing....
Anyway, yesterday I walked 25 mins, Monday, too. I plan to do that again today if it doesn't rain. I need the light and air and just to clear my head with the cool winds. I wanna see egrets and ospreys and funny little dogs and say hi to strangers to lift my mood.
Calories yesterday: 1232
Water: met and exceeded
Exercise: walked, torso raises, squats, no-go on the pushups.
Sleep: 7.5 hours
Hunger: some mid-level pangs in the evening, but calmed after 30 mins with water. No desire to binge.
On the push-ups. I tried until I was nauseous from the effort. No go. I could not do them.
I never have been able, not when I was a kid, not when I was thin and in junior high, not in my 130s in high school, not in the gym in 2002. Never. I thought maybe after 2.5 years of doing bicep curls, pectoral exercises, triceps exercises, modified ones on fitness balls and barrels (at a 45 degree angle), that I'd manage, you know, some. No....not one in proper form as described in the packet. Oh, well. For those of you who managed 20 push-ups in good form, I congratulate you. I clearly have some sort of weird body!
And please tell me I'm not the only one who's been sore from these strengthening thingies. On top of my usual Pilates soreness, it's like, wow! Inner thighs are definitely complaining.
So, today, I'm gonna focus on just keeping on and not losing heart cause I'm doing things right and the scale won't move as it should. There's no reason other than the plateau/starches/or depression theory or a combo thereof that I am not dropping nicely at 1200 when I was dropping roughly .2 lbs a day at 1500. No sense that.
I put on a nice soothing ladies talk show (their voices are calming) and just hope the voices stay away. I don't like peeking into that particular ED abyss.
I wish you a lovely and wellness-focused Wednesday.
First, the background: I've never been this long on a diet. Ever. I've never had this many accumulated lost pounds stay off, ever. And I've never been anorexic, bulimic, or done the sporadic fasting or any other weird diet thing. I never did the Cabbage Diet or Food all One Color A Day diet or detox or eat only fiber cookies or any other weird thing that promises FAST FAST FAST weight loss.
Basically, I liked food too much to try anything extreme.
So, yesterday, when my brain started getting this little voice: Just stop eating. Maybe just eat dinner. How about just stay in bed, sleep all day, and don't eat anything at all.Yeah, just sleep for a day straight...
Same thing this morning with the immovable scale darkening my mood.
Don't eat breakfast. Skip lunch. Just one egg. Just water and coffee, maybe.
Okay, now I get it. I totally get how women start to do weird diet shit. I never ever understood before, but I do now. It comes on, creeps in, doesn't it?
Oh, well, I came on here to confess that, cause it scared me. And cause I am gonna go eat my sound brekkie--egg white, toast, fruit, milk-- and refuse to listen to those weird, alien, who-are-you-and-where-did-you-come-from voices.
This not-budging weight, though I'm eating at the 1200 calorie level and exercising nearly DAILY in some way, is messing with me. Really messing with my spirit.
Today, I had to drag myself out of bed. I did not wanna wake up. And this though I'm smart enough to know that I've seen dieters go through the plateaus and suffer them and eventually the shiny sky comes again and things get moving.
Intellectually, I know that. Emotionally, it's messing with me.
I behave well, so I want my damn rewards, ya know?
It ends up feeling unjust--and though this whole metabolism thing is unjust as well, just look at your pal who can eat four cows and twelve cherry pies and stay size 4-- there is a greater sense of not getting the paycheck when you did the hard work.
Hopefully, it's not a depressive episode coming on--the "stay in bed and sleep" thing is generally the first symptom for me-- cause then the whole weird voice that says to do something extreme could be a new part of the whole depressive thing....
Anyway, yesterday I walked 25 mins, Monday, too. I plan to do that again today if it doesn't rain. I need the light and air and just to clear my head with the cool winds. I wanna see egrets and ospreys and funny little dogs and say hi to strangers to lift my mood.
Calories yesterday: 1232
Water: met and exceeded
Exercise: walked, torso raises, squats, no-go on the pushups.
Sleep: 7.5 hours
Hunger: some mid-level pangs in the evening, but calmed after 30 mins with water. No desire to binge.
On the push-ups. I tried until I was nauseous from the effort. No go. I could not do them.
I never have been able, not when I was a kid, not when I was thin and in junior high, not in my 130s in high school, not in the gym in 2002. Never. I thought maybe after 2.5 years of doing bicep curls, pectoral exercises, triceps exercises, modified ones on fitness balls and barrels (at a 45 degree angle), that I'd manage, you know, some. No....not one in proper form as described in the packet. Oh, well. For those of you who managed 20 push-ups in good form, I congratulate you. I clearly have some sort of weird body!
And please tell me I'm not the only one who's been sore from these strengthening thingies. On top of my usual Pilates soreness, it's like, wow! Inner thighs are definitely complaining.
So, today, I'm gonna focus on just keeping on and not losing heart cause I'm doing things right and the scale won't move as it should. There's no reason other than the plateau/starches/or depression theory or a combo thereof that I am not dropping nicely at 1200 when I was dropping roughly .2 lbs a day at 1500. No sense that.
I put on a nice soothing ladies talk show (their voices are calming) and just hope the voices stay away. I don't like peeking into that particular ED abyss.
I wish you a lovely and wellness-focused Wednesday.
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