Our fat global population has an enormous fricken problem when THIS is a viable, marketable solution.
Did they stop to consider folks can't keep this thingamajig inside them for life (just like many folks gotta get the adjustable band removed due to erosion, complications, etc). And then it's massive regain time. I mean, they ate all they wanted all along, where's the behavioral change once the device is gone?
Eat all you want.
Sit all day.
Don't believe you can change.
Pig out freely and we'll take care of it with assisted "puking."
Bulimia, sponsored soon by your insurance.
Hey, weight loss is tough and diets fail vastly more often than they succeed. I'm struggling to get back in rolling mojo control. Others struggle. Even some folks who have had bariatric surgeries struggle.
But this device...I just shake my head.
Permission to continue to overeat. Geez, at least the lap band forced you to control portions. This is license to keep doing the damaging stuff that made us fat to begin with.
:::more head shaking::::
Showing posts with label medical stuff. Show all posts
Showing posts with label medical stuff. Show all posts
Friday, January 11, 2013
Thursday, January 10, 2013
Trials with a New Doc and Less Levoxyl
I've noticed that since my Levoxyl was reduced last month, my mood is dipping, my energy is dipping, the hours I sleep are increasing, my face is feeling heavier, my appetite is up, my weight is up.
Now, there may not be a one-to-one correlation. I was also very sick with a viral respiratory infection, and that can take a toll. Up to now, I've blamed it on the virus, which knocked down my WBC count.
But I'm thinking this new doc may have made a mistake reducing my Levoxyl. I was only half a point out of range (into hyper). I was sleeping normally even at that reading. Now, prior to my weight loss, I was often TSH-range stable for a year plus. Since losing a lot of weight, even maintaining the loss a year and a half, my TSH rambles.
It got so bad a year ago, I had gout-like joint pain in my toes and arthritis-like pain all over my body. It was AWFUL.
But then it was hard to fine-tune. I take two meds, Cytomel and Levoxyl, and we've tried tweaking both. I either stay too high in TSH (hypo) for me to feel good or go too low in number (hyper) for the doc to like. And yes, when I was really hyper in June last year, having palpitations and night sweats and anxiety, that sucked. Though getting to 169.8 was pretty nice. It's not the way to do it, risking heart issues.
ANYWAY...It feels like I'm not optimal. Now. Not horrible like last year, but just a bit off. I wake up feeling sleepy. I drowse off on the sofa at 9pm (when I wasn't falling asleep on the sofa since the last time I was out of range, thyroid-wise.)
I didn't think I could get to a bad TSH number so soon (one month), but we'll see. It's vexing that I can't stay in my sweet spot, but we just gotta keep working on it. But right now, I suspect this gal is out of her best zone.
Sucks.
We press on.
Be well...
Now, there may not be a one-to-one correlation. I was also very sick with a viral respiratory infection, and that can take a toll. Up to now, I've blamed it on the virus, which knocked down my WBC count.
But I'm thinking this new doc may have made a mistake reducing my Levoxyl. I was only half a point out of range (into hyper). I was sleeping normally even at that reading. Now, prior to my weight loss, I was often TSH-range stable for a year plus. Since losing a lot of weight, even maintaining the loss a year and a half, my TSH rambles.
It got so bad a year ago, I had gout-like joint pain in my toes and arthritis-like pain all over my body. It was AWFUL.
But then it was hard to fine-tune. I take two meds, Cytomel and Levoxyl, and we've tried tweaking both. I either stay too high in TSH (hypo) for me to feel good or go too low in number (hyper) for the doc to like. And yes, when I was really hyper in June last year, having palpitations and night sweats and anxiety, that sucked. Though getting to 169.8 was pretty nice. It's not the way to do it, risking heart issues.
ANYWAY...It feels like I'm not optimal. Now. Not horrible like last year, but just a bit off. I wake up feeling sleepy. I drowse off on the sofa at 9pm (when I wasn't falling asleep on the sofa since the last time I was out of range, thyroid-wise.)
I didn't think I could get to a bad TSH number so soon (one month), but we'll see. It's vexing that I can't stay in my sweet spot, but we just gotta keep working on it. But right now, I suspect this gal is out of her best zone.
Sucks.
We press on.
Be well...
Friday, June 8, 2012
Heat Intolerance sucks
I went walking for the first time in 3 weeks yesterday with hubby. We waited until evening so it was a bit cooler. We've had hot, humid weather. Lots of thunderstorms (what kept me inside at first, then the mood issues demotivated me.)
I could barely tolerate it. Made it through 20 minutes only by focusing. I felt so hot and weak, like I was gonna pass out. My legs were shaky. I was panting. I felt woozy.
I'll note that I did my Pilates session with my trainer and got through it fine. Indoors. With a/c. But the heat/humidity outside got to me. 8pm and it was overcast, humid, and in the 80s.
I walked fine all last summer, even in humid weather, and that was when I was a bit hypothyroid, so I was feeling "chilly", as hypothyroid folks will tend to when they are a bit out of range. I was comfy for the most part last summer, and enjoyed having a time outside.
I guess when I see the endo in July (regularly scheduled appt), I'll find out if she needs to tweak me. I want to be able to walk again, but it's a fine line where I am euthyroid, and it's hard to STAY there.
Heat intolerance is tough. I start hyperventilating, feeling weak, feeling like I'm gonna burn up and pass out. Hate it. Wish I had a normal thyroid and didn't have to keep adjusting meds with weight changes or after active thyroiditis incidents. Well, you do what you can and keep the faith that medical science progress improves the situation.
I miss walking now. Wish someone could follow me around blasting icy air. :D
Be well...
I could barely tolerate it. Made it through 20 minutes only by focusing. I felt so hot and weak, like I was gonna pass out. My legs were shaky. I was panting. I felt woozy.
I'll note that I did my Pilates session with my trainer and got through it fine. Indoors. With a/c. But the heat/humidity outside got to me. 8pm and it was overcast, humid, and in the 80s.
I walked fine all last summer, even in humid weather, and that was when I was a bit hypothyroid, so I was feeling "chilly", as hypothyroid folks will tend to when they are a bit out of range. I was comfy for the most part last summer, and enjoyed having a time outside.
I guess when I see the endo in July (regularly scheduled appt), I'll find out if she needs to tweak me. I want to be able to walk again, but it's a fine line where I am euthyroid, and it's hard to STAY there.
Heat intolerance is tough. I start hyperventilating, feeling weak, feeling like I'm gonna burn up and pass out. Hate it. Wish I had a normal thyroid and didn't have to keep adjusting meds with weight changes or after active thyroiditis incidents. Well, you do what you can and keep the faith that medical science progress improves the situation.
I miss walking now. Wish someone could follow me around blasting icy air. :D
Be well...
Monday, May 14, 2012
Mother's Day and the Dress...Feeling Feminine!
I got to wear--finally--my 9West dress for Mother's Day (that
orange/green/brown/pink tribal print dress that I posted about
previously).
I'm an avocado/appley type body (curvy, fat congregates in the belly/torso), and in these pics, it reminds me I still have a ways to go. But, well, I've seemed to settle in the place where my body LIKES to be, as much as I want it to be 20-25 lbs lower.
I
did the arms up shot to show the curves better, hahahaha. BUT
ALSO..cause the acanthosis nigricans is nearly gone. I used to have
charcoal grey skin under my arms from the prediabetes/insulin
resistance. You can see a bit of it in this photo on the right from June 2010--I was in the 260s-- though the acanthosis nigricans had by that date already improved a bit after 2 years of exercising hard and eating better. The darkest areas are hidden by the shirt. I, these days, have a bit of shaving-induced hyperpigmentation, but the severe A.N. that plagued various parts of my body (thighs, underarms, neck, etc) is pretty
much history, thank God. :D
It's nice to wear dresses again. It's wonderful. WONDERFUL! Nothing makes me feel as feminine as a cute dress.
For the record: I'm not wearing shapewear. Bra and panties. No slip (my slip was too long, turned out). I wanted to wear shapewear, but in the end, I chose comfort.
I hope you enjoyed your mother's day and got to wear something that made you feel girly (or manly) and good!
I'm an avocado/appley type body (curvy, fat congregates in the belly/torso), and in these pics, it reminds me I still have a ways to go. But, well, I've seemed to settle in the place where my body LIKES to be, as much as I want it to be 20-25 lbs lower.
I
did the arms up shot to show the curves better, hahahaha. BUT
ALSO..cause the acanthosis nigricans is nearly gone. I used to have
charcoal grey skin under my arms from the prediabetes/insulin
resistance. You can see a bit of it in this photo on the right from June 2010--I was in the 260s-- though the acanthosis nigricans had by that date already improved a bit after 2 years of exercising hard and eating better. The darkest areas are hidden by the shirt. I, these days, have a bit of shaving-induced hyperpigmentation, but the severe A.N. that plagued various parts of my body (thighs, underarms, neck, etc) is pretty
much history, thank God. :DIt's nice to wear dresses again. It's wonderful. WONDERFUL! Nothing makes me feel as feminine as a cute dress.
For the record: I'm not wearing shapewear. Bra and panties. No slip (my slip was too long, turned out). I wanted to wear shapewear, but in the end, I chose comfort.
I hope you enjoyed your mother's day and got to wear something that made you feel girly (or manly) and good!
 |
| Yup, I gots curves. Mostly booby curves, heh. And that's a flower headband on my head. My younger niece and SIL made "tea party hats" with tulle and ribbons, and for my older niece and me, they created headbands. I don't like to crush my curls with hats. :D I look ready to "hula". :D |
 |
| I may be old and overweight, but I sure like feeling girly! I'm holding the headband here. :) |
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Ready for Summer Update #3: Not Very Motivated, Not Really Wanting to Blog, Stressed, Some thoughts on the SetPoints, Doc Appt, and Not Quitting. :D
Note: I started to write this Monday, my challenge weigh-in day, and then just...dropped it. Gosh, I just have not felt like blogging. Anyway, time to finish and publish~~~
Last week: 177.8
Waist: 34.75
As you can see, nearly 2 pounds up. And how frustrating is that?
Doesn't help I'm into the salty stuff again: very salty take-out chicken, very salty takeout dressings on salad, very salty parmeson on salads. But I cannot discount the calories. It doesn't take much above 1600 for me to see rebounds.
I am so not in a good mood. I wake up feeling demotivated. I try to perk up, cheer myself, do motivating things..and just fall flat. I'm in a funk.
I didn't meet my exercise, caloric, or weight loss goals.
I only got 2 cardio in (not four), but I did do two strengthening.
My fluids were fine.
Calories were, except for two days, over 1500 (under 2000)
Had a doc appt Friday, and my thyroid is still not optimal, so she put me on a higher dose of one of my two thyroid meds. (She raised the levothyroxine back in Feb. This time, we're upping the Cytomel.) Hopefully, this one is the winning combo. My temps are a bit higher (still not in the 98, but ranging up to 97.8, which is a great improvement over the 97.0 temps I was getting a lot up through Feb.)
I take my notebook and pen to appts, take notes of vitals and what the doc suggests I do before next check up, etc. I was 182 on her scale (which is usually +3 to 4 lbs based on what I wear, and makes sense as I was roughly 178 on my scale at home) and blood pressure was fine. Office temp was 96.8, which was alarming, but the gal said that they count it about a whole point or more higher, as they use the dots (not standard thermometer), so that jives witih home temps. (Why don't they just use better quality thermometers, I wanna know?)
My battles in this five-pound range (177+ to 182+) is convincing me more and more about this setpoint stuff. Granted, there is some science behind it (go read research on it, not gonna list it here, and pubmed lets you read abstracts), but for me, it's been that whole experiential thing. (And observing it in some weight loss bloggers over the years). You reach a particular number, and it just doesn't wanna budge from that range.
You go down to your lower level, and you get hungry or something. You go back up, you calm down. YOu try to go down again: hungry. You go back up a few pounds: calm down.
I dunno, but seems to me it's like the brain saying: "We like it here. We're staying here. If you want to go lower, we're gonna fight it with hunger hormones and you will cave or you will just live with ongoing hunger."
This is what I seem to be in the midst of. And I don't like being hungry. One of the best tihngs about this last attempt at weight loss is that hunger has been minimal to nil on lower calories (which never was a reality for me in the past). I have not binged in, well, it will be two years come May. I have not had that raging hunger beast. It's been nice. And some days, I could go all day without eating and feel calm.
But now, when I get down to 177 point whatever, I start getting the, "Oh, i want...oh, I want...". To me, this is physiological, not psychological.
The psychological comes AFTER. When I get bummed that I hit that wall. The wall defeats me!
Well, I have not given up. I want to bust this wall down. I don't know how without having it rebound with hunger, despite trying all sorts of stuff so far in the last 6 or so months. I am not a wit's end...just near it. :D
The only NSV I can think of is that I didn't cave in to the hunger more. I really could have easily just...gone back to semi-binge mode. I was close...just the "I want, I want, i want."
The other stress issue is still present and I'm countering it with positive thoughts and trying to rein in my worrywart tendencies. I can only do what I can do...so I'm trying to be...proactive. :D
As far as Maren's mini-challenge: I failed. I only got through 1/2 of the challengers (though, granted, that was 20+, as this is a large challenge). I barely read my email and didn't blog, so going to so many blogs felt like it was adding to my load of stress. So, well, there it is.
So, goals for THIS week:
In that other project area: I've continued work on the decluttering, which was a major focus last week, and I threw out a total of 7 lawn and leaf bags of crap. The work continues to simplify my life (in many areas).
That's pretty much it. I would like to hear if any of y'all who've lost a lot of weight (like 50 or 70 lbs + ) have experienced this weird "stuck around a number" after a substantial loss, with hunger issues when a bottom is reached, rebound, etc.
And I hope you're all doing well, and way better than me, moodwise and frustration wise. Keep the faith, the hope, and never quit.
I won't.
God bless..
Weight: 179.4
Waist: 34.75
Last week: 177.8
Waist: 34.75
As you can see, nearly 2 pounds up. And how frustrating is that?
Doesn't help I'm into the salty stuff again: very salty take-out chicken, very salty takeout dressings on salad, very salty parmeson on salads. But I cannot discount the calories. It doesn't take much above 1600 for me to see rebounds.
I am so not in a good mood. I wake up feeling demotivated. I try to perk up, cheer myself, do motivating things..and just fall flat. I'm in a funk.
I didn't meet my exercise, caloric, or weight loss goals.
I only got 2 cardio in (not four), but I did do two strengthening.
My fluids were fine.
Calories were, except for two days, over 1500 (under 2000)
Had a doc appt Friday, and my thyroid is still not optimal, so she put me on a higher dose of one of my two thyroid meds. (She raised the levothyroxine back in Feb. This time, we're upping the Cytomel.) Hopefully, this one is the winning combo. My temps are a bit higher (still not in the 98, but ranging up to 97.8, which is a great improvement over the 97.0 temps I was getting a lot up through Feb.)
 |
| Ready to take notes in the Endocrinologist's exam room |
My battles in this five-pound range (177+ to 182+) is convincing me more and more about this setpoint stuff. Granted, there is some science behind it (go read research on it, not gonna list it here, and pubmed lets you read abstracts), but for me, it's been that whole experiential thing. (And observing it in some weight loss bloggers over the years). You reach a particular number, and it just doesn't wanna budge from that range.
You go down to your lower level, and you get hungry or something. You go back up, you calm down. YOu try to go down again: hungry. You go back up a few pounds: calm down.
I dunno, but seems to me it's like the brain saying: "We like it here. We're staying here. If you want to go lower, we're gonna fight it with hunger hormones and you will cave or you will just live with ongoing hunger."
This is what I seem to be in the midst of. And I don't like being hungry. One of the best tihngs about this last attempt at weight loss is that hunger has been minimal to nil on lower calories (which never was a reality for me in the past). I have not binged in, well, it will be two years come May. I have not had that raging hunger beast. It's been nice. And some days, I could go all day without eating and feel calm.
But now, when I get down to 177 point whatever, I start getting the, "Oh, i want...oh, I want...". To me, this is physiological, not psychological.
The psychological comes AFTER. When I get bummed that I hit that wall. The wall defeats me!
Well, I have not given up. I want to bust this wall down. I don't know how without having it rebound with hunger, despite trying all sorts of stuff so far in the last 6 or so months. I am not a wit's end...just near it. :D
The only NSV I can think of is that I didn't cave in to the hunger more. I really could have easily just...gone back to semi-binge mode. I was close...just the "I want, I want, i want."
The other stress issue is still present and I'm countering it with positive thoughts and trying to rein in my worrywart tendencies. I can only do what I can do...so I'm trying to be...proactive. :D
As far as Maren's mini-challenge: I failed. I only got through 1/2 of the challengers (though, granted, that was 20+, as this is a large challenge). I barely read my email and didn't blog, so going to so many blogs felt like it was adding to my load of stress. So, well, there it is.
So, goals for THIS week:
Weight: no more regain, begin to turn this backI plan to stick out this challenge. I notice that week one's update had 59 links. Week two had 46 links . Week three has 42 so far, and that's including my late one. How many of us will be there at challenge's end? I hope MOST!
Waist: no more, hopefully 34.5
calories: 1500 cap, and trying to do better with that.
Fluids: same, 10 glasses a day or more
Exercise: original goals--4 cardio, 2 strengthening.
Blogging: To not miss "by Monday" update, and to blog at least two more days to keep mind in the game.
Reading: try to figure out what to do about this setpoint issue that doesn't include massive hunger (ie, radical calorie reduction that I am NOT willing to do) or freaky theories (like ice baths, also not willing to do). If there is a solution, I'm on the hunt for it. I may need to find a physician that specializes in metabolic issues, and see if I can get tested for the finer stuff going on (leptin, etc). More research.
In that other project area: I've continued work on the decluttering, which was a major focus last week, and I threw out a total of 7 lawn and leaf bags of crap. The work continues to simplify my life (in many areas).
That's pretty much it. I would like to hear if any of y'all who've lost a lot of weight (like 50 or 70 lbs + ) have experienced this weird "stuck around a number" after a substantial loss, with hunger issues when a bottom is reached, rebound, etc.
And I hope you're all doing well, and way better than me, moodwise and frustration wise. Keep the faith, the hope, and never quit.
I won't.
God bless..
Thursday, April 5, 2012
Quikie E2E Final Midweek Update
Yesterday: 178.8
Today: 179.2
I've been icky feeling since Monday. I ate some take-out beef, and it totally did not agree with me. This is a weird sensation. It's not food poisoning in the regular sense--the fierce diarrhea and nausea and even puking, like I've had a couple times in my life.
This has been a lower level, "I don't feel well" thing, with queasiness, intestinal rumbliness without the runs, and light ache if I press my abdomen. The ache was worst Monday night and Tuesday, a real ouchie. Now, it's just annoying. It's better today, but I'm still not "normal". I have this weird "off" feeling. The persistent queasiness makes me annoyed. Just goes to show how important bowel health is.
I haven't exercised since Monday, so haven't completed the RfS exercise mini-goal. I cancelled Pilates for today. I hope this icky feeling passes by the weekend, as my family plans to do an out-at-the-park thing for Easter. I'd like to feel chipper, get my vigor back, and be able to destress with play-exercise. It's also really hard to get the scale to move sans exercise....
For now, I'm just kinda taking it easy and hating the "off" feeling.
I am eating fine--simpler food prepared at home.
I have been reading spiritual stuff for Holy Week, so no challenge reading, other than the online obesity articles I do tend to keep on top of.
So, doing "meh" due to some foodborne buggie. The stress factor is still high, and that makes the anxiety sort of burbe up (especially without my exercise destressor). More meditation and prayer, I guess, is in order. :D
Happy holy week to all. See you for the final E2E update (prolly Saturday, maybe Sunday.)
Today: 179.2
I've been icky feeling since Monday. I ate some take-out beef, and it totally did not agree with me. This is a weird sensation. It's not food poisoning in the regular sense--the fierce diarrhea and nausea and even puking, like I've had a couple times in my life.
This has been a lower level, "I don't feel well" thing, with queasiness, intestinal rumbliness without the runs, and light ache if I press my abdomen. The ache was worst Monday night and Tuesday, a real ouchie. Now, it's just annoying. It's better today, but I'm still not "normal". I have this weird "off" feeling. The persistent queasiness makes me annoyed. Just goes to show how important bowel health is.
I haven't exercised since Monday, so haven't completed the RfS exercise mini-goal. I cancelled Pilates for today. I hope this icky feeling passes by the weekend, as my family plans to do an out-at-the-park thing for Easter. I'd like to feel chipper, get my vigor back, and be able to destress with play-exercise. It's also really hard to get the scale to move sans exercise....
For now, I'm just kinda taking it easy and hating the "off" feeling.
I am eating fine--simpler food prepared at home.
I have been reading spiritual stuff for Holy Week, so no challenge reading, other than the online obesity articles I do tend to keep on top of.
So, doing "meh" due to some foodborne buggie. The stress factor is still high, and that makes the anxiety sort of burbe up (especially without my exercise destressor). More meditation and prayer, I guess, is in order. :D
Happy holy week to all. See you for the final E2E update (prolly Saturday, maybe Sunday.)
"The ability to discipline yourself to delay gratification in the short term in order to enjoy greater rewards in the long term is the indispensable prerequisite for success."~~Maxwell Maltz
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.~~Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
FIGHT THE FAT REMOTIVATION PROJECT DAY 1: Working on the Mojo in "Self-Control Focus" Week...Activity #1 is 5-minute Meditation.... Activity #2 Scary Science Reading about why I need to get rid of this fat and just reminding myself that EXCESS FAT KILLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
For me, this is like a new day. I decided to get up and make this "FIGHT THE FAT REMOTIVATION PROJECT" Day one in Princess Dieter Land.
Okay, so I'm trying to find that "sweet wind" again. Besides the "Activity #1" of meditation I mentioned yesterday in my vlog update, I'm planning this week to read the kinds of things that motivated me in 2010. The scary butt things. That's Activity #2 in the project. The fat-terror stuff. Things like Allan's rants about "Fat is cancer."
He was and is right. Fat is like cancer. It kills. We gotta get rid of it!!!
Fat is not this benign padding keeping us warm and making us feel cushy. It's been discovered that it acts like an endocrine organ. It releases cytokines that cause inflammation. And it's not just this awful belly/visceral fat (which I am of the body type that really likes to accumulate belly/torso fat, damn, stupid DNA of mine). Even that FAT PADS ON YOUR KNEES do this!!!!
Extrapolate this. If the fat pads on your knees add pro-inflammatory chemicals to your system, what do you think 50 extra pounds around your middle do? 100? 200? It's a time bomb.
Fat cancer.
Excess fat is NOT your buddy, not my body. It is destroying us in this country. Look around when you go out. WE ARE A FAT COUNTRY!
We're scarfing down junk, living sedentary, and wallowing in our own cytokines...and paying the medical price.
Worry about not having insurance when you're obese? Oh, yeah, bet you do. I did. I do.
Fat hates us. It's not something to happily accept and let sit there. It's something to FIGHT. (As well as we can, and I don't mean you need to be twiggy or Kate Moss, cause, genetically, we ain't all blueprinted that way.)
I need to scare myself again. So, I looked for a read like those that got me going to begin with.
Like this article.
It reminds me why I can't go back to eating crap, EVER EVER EVER (and no, I have not had a sweet roll or donut, not in a long time, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't LOVE to, mind you). Here, a cardiologist traces the way a crap food like a donut raises inflammation and leads to heart disease.
But he also explains why BEING fat leads to inflammation and heart disease and other deadly and dreadful conditions. I ain't obese anymore (barely). But I am fat. Overweight. And this is what that does to me, says this heart surgeon who has operated on thousands and seen what a bad diet and being fat does to the arterial walls:
People, the reason I got my mojo going on losing weight was cause I didn't want to DIE OBESE. I didn't want to have failed to conquer obesity and be on my deathbed with the huge regret of DYING OBESE. And the main acute motivator--the one that was right there in my face and terrifying me-- was that I had Metabolic Syndrome/Pre-diabetes and was well on my way to becoming a full-blown diabetic with all the horrible complications that cascade from THAT condition.
So, my blood sugar has been blessedly normal. My blood pressure pills got tossed last June.
But if I regain and go back to bad habits, I get all that crap again...and MORE. And WORSE, cause the clock stops for no one.
So, that was the first thing I read, after waking up, before breakfast. It's time to scare the bejeezus out of myself again to get my butt in gear and act together.
This fricken wall is coming down. I'm my own obstacle. I gotta get out of my dang way.
I'm gonna do my 5 minute meditation. I'm gonna ponder my arterial wall damage as I look at my big belly, that belly pouring out cytokines into my bloodsteam and screwing me up inside.
Okay, off to eat, move, do some chores, then pick-up my organic goodies. And I really need me some berries right now. Got a craving. :D At least, it's not for a donut.
If you want to REMOTIVATE right along with me, you folks in the doldrums of dieting or in the regaining conundrum or apathetic or backsliding, then join me. Just do the same stuff--the 5 minute meditation blocks to clear the mind and exercise the self-control "muscle", the scary reading (blogs, articles, books, whereever). Put up your own idea and let me know. Maybe I'll do it, too. The point is to do the things that got you going mentally, got you IN YOUR GAME. The point is to find the fire again. If you want to post your remotivation tricks and if they work, do so. Let me know. I'd like to read your efforts.
And for those undermining themselves, here's a word: Akrasia.
Fight the fat.
Be well...
Okay, so I'm trying to find that "sweet wind" again. Besides the "Activity #1" of meditation I mentioned yesterday in my vlog update, I'm planning this week to read the kinds of things that motivated me in 2010. The scary butt things. That's Activity #2 in the project. The fat-terror stuff. Things like Allan's rants about "Fat is cancer."
He was and is right. Fat is like cancer. It kills. We gotta get rid of it!!!
Fat is not this benign padding keeping us warm and making us feel cushy. It's been discovered that it acts like an endocrine organ. It releases cytokines that cause inflammation. And it's not just this awful belly/visceral fat (which I am of the body type that really likes to accumulate belly/torso fat, damn, stupid DNA of mine). Even that FAT PADS ON YOUR KNEES do this!!!!
Extrapolate this. If the fat pads on your knees add pro-inflammatory chemicals to your system, what do you think 50 extra pounds around your middle do? 100? 200? It's a time bomb.
Fat cancer.
Excess fat is NOT your buddy, not my body. It is destroying us in this country. Look around when you go out. WE ARE A FAT COUNTRY!
We're scarfing down junk, living sedentary, and wallowing in our own cytokines...and paying the medical price.
Worry about not having insurance when you're obese? Oh, yeah, bet you do. I did. I do.
Fat hates us. It's not something to happily accept and let sit there. It's something to FIGHT. (As well as we can, and I don't mean you need to be twiggy or Kate Moss, cause, genetically, we ain't all blueprinted that way.)
I need to scare myself again. So, I looked for a read like those that got me going to begin with.
Like this article.
It reminds me why I can't go back to eating crap, EVER EVER EVER (and no, I have not had a sweet roll or donut, not in a long time, but that doesn't mean I wouldn't LOVE to, mind you). Here, a cardiologist traces the way a crap food like a donut raises inflammation and leads to heart disease.
But he also explains why BEING fat leads to inflammation and heart disease and other deadly and dreadful conditions. I ain't obese anymore (barely). But I am fat. Overweight. And this is what that does to me, says this heart surgeon who has operated on thousands and seen what a bad diet and being fat does to the arterial walls:
To make matters worse, the excess weight you are carrying from eating these foods creates overloaded fat cells that pour out large quantities of pro-inflammatory chemicals that add to the injury caused by having high blood sugar. The process that began with a sweet roll turns into a vicious cycle over time that creates heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes and finally, Alzheimer's disease, as the inflammatory process continues unabated.
People, the reason I got my mojo going on losing weight was cause I didn't want to DIE OBESE. I didn't want to have failed to conquer obesity and be on my deathbed with the huge regret of DYING OBESE. And the main acute motivator--the one that was right there in my face and terrifying me-- was that I had Metabolic Syndrome/Pre-diabetes and was well on my way to becoming a full-blown diabetic with all the horrible complications that cascade from THAT condition.
So, my blood sugar has been blessedly normal. My blood pressure pills got tossed last June.
But if I regain and go back to bad habits, I get all that crap again...and MORE. And WORSE, cause the clock stops for no one.
So, that was the first thing I read, after waking up, before breakfast. It's time to scare the bejeezus out of myself again to get my butt in gear and act together.
This fricken wall is coming down. I'm my own obstacle. I gotta get out of my dang way.
I'm gonna do my 5 minute meditation. I'm gonna ponder my arterial wall damage as I look at my big belly, that belly pouring out cytokines into my bloodsteam and screwing me up inside.
Okay, off to eat, move, do some chores, then pick-up my organic goodies. And I really need me some berries right now. Got a craving. :D At least, it's not for a donut.
If you want to REMOTIVATE right along with me, you folks in the doldrums of dieting or in the regaining conundrum or apathetic or backsliding, then join me. Just do the same stuff--the 5 minute meditation blocks to clear the mind and exercise the self-control "muscle", the scary reading (blogs, articles, books, whereever). Put up your own idea and let me know. Maybe I'll do it, too. The point is to do the things that got you going mentally, got you IN YOUR GAME. The point is to find the fire again. If you want to post your remotivation tricks and if they work, do so. Let me know. I'd like to read your efforts.
And for those undermining themselves, here's a word: Akrasia.
Fight the fat.
Be well...
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
Still metabolically snailing it...says the thermometer...and dancing with laughter with the B52s and hubby...Plus the BEST walking/dancing bra EVER for the busty gals who wanna LOOK nice......and feeling very grateful...
When I was feeling purely crappy before, I took my oral morning temps to see what was going on. I believe I posted on it. I was measuring 97.0 to 97.3, with one rare jump to 97.5
I am measuring now between 97.3 and 97.5. So, um, well, some improvement, but not great. Once I move around, have breakfast etc, I jump to 97.8.
That's still pretty "chilly".
I was hoping after a month now on my higher T4 dosage (cause my doc is really stubborn and won't give me more T3, which tells me I need to look for a new doc, frankly), I expected better. I've added micronutrients beneficial for the thyroid--zinc, copper, selenium, iodine--to my diet. Make a point to have kelp or seaweed now and then. Upped my carbs some (cause this helps with T4 to T3 conversion). I suspect I really need MORE T3 and less T4 to feel optimal.
Why are endos so fricken close-minded about this? I had to walk into the exam room with print-outs of studies to convince my previous doc in 2010 to add Cytomel to my regimen. And she was still reluctant.
I know I'm improving in other ways. I am able to walk without feeling like I weigh 300 pounds again. I can dance without feeling like I'm gonna fall down. I sometimes feel warm (which was not happening in the previous two months, when I had bad chills, and was sleeping with higher number on the a/c and extra blankets). Hair is not falling out as quickly. Joints don't feel like I have a massive acute attack of arthritis. Face doesn't feel like a blank mask. Eyes don't feel heavy and saggy (except for the normal aging sagginess). Not needing to sleep 14 hours...Down to 10. :D
But I really, really, firmly believe what I need is more T3, and dang, I'm gonna have pray that God budges my endo on this.
In the meantime, I've been researching for endos who are more Armour and T3 friendly (ie, not stuck in the T4 only box). It's not easy. Some sound like quacks. Others are too far to drive in Florida. Locally, I just gotta search some more.
I was really happy when that slightly reluctant endo in June of 2010 --not my original one, but another in her practice, as that's seen to me since 1998, after a chillingly bad experience with another endo!--let me try Cytomel. A WORLD OF DIFFERENCE! No lie. It's what allowed me to see better mood and perhaps was key in allowing me to have enough energy and positivity (ie, lifting of depression) to begin a serious diet.
Mood cannot be discounted in overeating. Y'all know that?
Since it did me a crazy butt world of good, I don't see why they are so reluctant to change the ratio. Lots of ladies out there are feeling better on more T3. Maybe I'd be one of them, dunno, but maybe.
Anyhow, making progress (from the physical and temp markers), but still in slower metabolic land. But hey, I used to have temp readings in the 96. The doc once had me at 95 point something (forget the decimal) in her office, which was the tip-off to check my thyroid. (At that point, the whole, dry as desert skin, chills even in summer, gaining weight steadily and alarmingly, suicidal ideations, and sleeping 20 hours a day should have been a bigger tip-off, don't ya think?)
This is one of my "deal with it for life" issues, and dang, how I wish I was normal. Must be nice. ; ) But I believe in counting blessings. So, I will:
I am grateful for improvements. Thank God for good medicine and supplements and good food and exercise and rest and love and hope. :D It all works together. I was just feeling amazing happy and grateful over my breakfast of Canadian bacon, eggs, and Concorde pear yumminess--hubby found some for me, hooray, hooray!!--just grateful for having food in abundance, and grateful I don't abuse it anymore. Just overflowing in my heart with thanks.
Which is good. It's really good to remember that abundance of food can be a blight of temptation, but it's a huge blessing in a "mostly hungry" world. Remember that. For the sake of those who have not and dream of having, choose well.
Hope everyone is having a lovely week. Full of gratitude. Full of good choices.
We had some nice cooler weather in the last couple days--refreshing!--and I have been feeling pretty giddy-happy again. Smiley me is in full force! Well...
Except for the wee crying jag when I looked at a pic of my mom and just missed her and dad so much I lost it. Just a few minutes, then gratitude for having been loved so much by my parents. Poor, hardworking folks who did it all for family. God, it hurts to lose loved ones! But I'm smiling, too, cause my mom is still one of my heroes. :D
Watched the B52s on PBS last night and danced the whole time we watched. Giddy-happy (like I said.) I saw them live in a long gone, once-hip, local venue in 1979 and they were AMAZINGLY FUN. And they may be old, but they're STILL FUN. I love me some Kate and Cindy and Fred and Keith! (I went and preordered the DVD.) Such nostalgia.
Hubby got one of his guitars and jammed along while I danced like a crazy middle-aged gal who once loved dancing the night away in better-joint-health days. I can't shimmy like I used to. I can't go "down, down" to the ground in ROCK LOBSTER with my crap knees. But I can move the way I can move, and I do! With energy, hard breathing, sweat and blood pumping wildly as my reward. (I ended up dancing in my bra--my wonderful underwire Wacoal sports bra that I love for walking and is worth EVERY EXPENSIVE BIT OF PRICE cause it keeps me in place without crushing the tatas into mush--cause I got so overheated!)
Here's my darling man last night, before he stood up to play the last couple songs:
(holding spot for when I stop being lazy and upload the pic from iPhone)
So, go dance and believe in healing and a better weight for yourself. As long as you breathe, have hope and go for it!
Be well...
I am measuring now between 97.3 and 97.5. So, um, well, some improvement, but not great. Once I move around, have breakfast etc, I jump to 97.8.
That's still pretty "chilly".
I was hoping after a month now on my higher T4 dosage (cause my doc is really stubborn and won't give me more T3, which tells me I need to look for a new doc, frankly), I expected better. I've added micronutrients beneficial for the thyroid--zinc, copper, selenium, iodine--to my diet. Make a point to have kelp or seaweed now and then. Upped my carbs some (cause this helps with T4 to T3 conversion). I suspect I really need MORE T3 and less T4 to feel optimal.
Why are endos so fricken close-minded about this? I had to walk into the exam room with print-outs of studies to convince my previous doc in 2010 to add Cytomel to my regimen. And she was still reluctant.
I know I'm improving in other ways. I am able to walk without feeling like I weigh 300 pounds again. I can dance without feeling like I'm gonna fall down. I sometimes feel warm (which was not happening in the previous two months, when I had bad chills, and was sleeping with higher number on the a/c and extra blankets). Hair is not falling out as quickly. Joints don't feel like I have a massive acute attack of arthritis. Face doesn't feel like a blank mask. Eyes don't feel heavy and saggy (except for the normal aging sagginess). Not needing to sleep 14 hours...Down to 10. :D
But I really, really, firmly believe what I need is more T3, and dang, I'm gonna have pray that God budges my endo on this.
In the meantime, I've been researching for endos who are more Armour and T3 friendly (ie, not stuck in the T4 only box). It's not easy. Some sound like quacks. Others are too far to drive in Florida. Locally, I just gotta search some more.
I was really happy when that slightly reluctant endo in June of 2010 --not my original one, but another in her practice, as that's seen to me since 1998, after a chillingly bad experience with another endo!--let me try Cytomel. A WORLD OF DIFFERENCE! No lie. It's what allowed me to see better mood and perhaps was key in allowing me to have enough energy and positivity (ie, lifting of depression) to begin a serious diet.
Mood cannot be discounted in overeating. Y'all know that?
Since it did me a crazy butt world of good, I don't see why they are so reluctant to change the ratio. Lots of ladies out there are feeling better on more T3. Maybe I'd be one of them, dunno, but maybe.
Anyhow, making progress (from the physical and temp markers), but still in slower metabolic land. But hey, I used to have temp readings in the 96. The doc once had me at 95 point something (forget the decimal) in her office, which was the tip-off to check my thyroid. (At that point, the whole, dry as desert skin, chills even in summer, gaining weight steadily and alarmingly, suicidal ideations, and sleeping 20 hours a day should have been a bigger tip-off, don't ya think?)
This is one of my "deal with it for life" issues, and dang, how I wish I was normal. Must be nice. ; ) But I believe in counting blessings. So, I will:
I am grateful for improvements. Thank God for good medicine and supplements and good food and exercise and rest and love and hope. :D It all works together. I was just feeling amazing happy and grateful over my breakfast of Canadian bacon, eggs, and Concorde pear yumminess--hubby found some for me, hooray, hooray!!--just grateful for having food in abundance, and grateful I don't abuse it anymore. Just overflowing in my heart with thanks.
Which is good. It's really good to remember that abundance of food can be a blight of temptation, but it's a huge blessing in a "mostly hungry" world. Remember that. For the sake of those who have not and dream of having, choose well.
Hope everyone is having a lovely week. Full of gratitude. Full of good choices.
We had some nice cooler weather in the last couple days--refreshing!--and I have been feeling pretty giddy-happy again. Smiley me is in full force! Well...
Except for the wee crying jag when I looked at a pic of my mom and just missed her and dad so much I lost it. Just a few minutes, then gratitude for having been loved so much by my parents. Poor, hardworking folks who did it all for family. God, it hurts to lose loved ones! But I'm smiling, too, cause my mom is still one of my heroes. :D
Watched the B52s on PBS last night and danced the whole time we watched. Giddy-happy (like I said.) I saw them live in a long gone, once-hip, local venue in 1979 and they were AMAZINGLY FUN. And they may be old, but they're STILL FUN. I love me some Kate and Cindy and Fred and Keith! (I went and preordered the DVD.) Such nostalgia.
Hubby got one of his guitars and jammed along while I danced like a crazy middle-aged gal who once loved dancing the night away in better-joint-health days. I can't shimmy like I used to. I can't go "down, down" to the ground in ROCK LOBSTER with my crap knees. But I can move the way I can move, and I do! With energy, hard breathing, sweat and blood pumping wildly as my reward. (I ended up dancing in my bra--my wonderful underwire Wacoal sports bra that I love for walking and is worth EVERY EXPENSIVE BIT OF PRICE cause it keeps me in place without crushing the tatas into mush--cause I got so overheated!)
Here's my darling man last night, before he stood up to play the last couple songs:
(holding spot for when I stop being lazy and upload the pic from iPhone)
So, go dance and believe in healing and a better weight for yourself. As long as you breathe, have hope and go for it!
Be well...
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
After the rant, a nice lil quote...so go overcome something today...be a creator, innovator, overcomer. No wallowing or self-defeating actions, k?
Not much to offer today. Feel a little normal peeve at a plumbing issue, but the plumber should come Friday... and I made a doc appointment for Friday to get new Rx for Singulair...my "no Zyrtec" experiment was an epic fail, with runny nose and itchy skin, so back on it..oh, well, we tried...and the endo called to say she'll have me do a lipid profile...and I have cleaning to do. So, see? Boring.
On the plus side, doing fine off the steroids, breathing-wise. Zyrtec still necessary. I keep the hope one day it will be able to go, too.
Hope my rant yesterday was helpful for those who needed it.
Here's a nice quote for today that I pilfered from Melting Mama, who had it in her blog post today:
I am the one who decides today what I will be today and tomorrow. But mostly, RIGHT NOW.
Yes, we all have certain limitations, but one thing amazing people of all ages, health statuses, economic brackets, intellectual levels, educational levels have shown is that humans have the power to change, transform, break through barriers, heal, create, astonish, alter paradigms, innovate, and just plain overcome everything in their paths.
Whatever is your obstacle today...tell it to take a hike. It's an opportunity and a challenge, not a barrier. YOU are the main barrier. Overcome what is in you that doesn't believe you can do...IT. Whatever IT is.
I plan to overcome something dark or hard or mean or lazy or indulgent or fearful inside myself today.
You...you wanna, too?
Oh, I guess yesterday's rant was refreshing. :D
On the plus side, doing fine off the steroids, breathing-wise. Zyrtec still necessary. I keep the hope one day it will be able to go, too.
Hope my rant yesterday was helpful for those who needed it.
Here's a nice quote for today that I pilfered from Melting Mama, who had it in her blog post today:
What you need to know about the past is that no matter what has happened, it has all worked together to bring you to this very moment. And this is the moment you can choose to make everything new. Right now.
~Author Unknown
I am the one who decides today what I will be today and tomorrow. But mostly, RIGHT NOW.
Yes, we all have certain limitations, but one thing amazing people of all ages, health statuses, economic brackets, intellectual levels, educational levels have shown is that humans have the power to change, transform, break through barriers, heal, create, astonish, alter paradigms, innovate, and just plain overcome everything in their paths.
Whatever is your obstacle today...tell it to take a hike. It's an opportunity and a challenge, not a barrier. YOU are the main barrier. Overcome what is in you that doesn't believe you can do...IT. Whatever IT is.
I plan to overcome something dark or hard or mean or lazy or indulgent or fearful inside myself today.
You...you wanna, too?
Oh, I guess yesterday's rant was refreshing. :D
Friday, August 26, 2011
Which "Obesity Stage" Are You Living In? I like being a ZERO!
BMI isn't so useful a tool. I use it as a milestone marker. But I know it's got serious limitations and problems.
Some docs want better ways to gauge obesity and its effect. So, I was reading the stages in the Edmonton Obesity Staging System:
And I realized this:
At my very highest at just about 300 lbs, I would have to self-categorize myself as having dipped into Stage 3 for a spell. Not cause of organ damage (though I was damaging my liver, had elevated enzymes, Ultrasound showed non-alcoholic fatty liver disease), but cause my activities were severely impacted. Movement...breathing...sleeping...and depression was rampant. "Impairment" of well-being, oh, yeah.
I spent most of my morbid obesity in Stage 2. No question about it.
I look over the criteria, and realize I'm a ZERO, just from how I feel and what doc says: Prediabetes resolved. No hypertension drug now. HDL and triglycerides, amazing. LDL higher, but good LDL particle size. Apnea pretty much gone, no waking up choking... though I'm asleep, so can't really tell for sure, hah. Reflux gone. Liver hasn't been rechecked via ultrasound, but I'm guessing way, way less fatty. Easier to move (exercise!). Energy high. Depression not in sight. Joy of life, even with its sad moments--considerable.
I do have damage--to skin, to joints, to liver, I'm sure--from having been obese for more than 2 decades. No joke. You pay a price! I suspect the longer one is obese, the more price to be paid. Some things are irrevocable. Lifespan may be impacted for sure. We can't know for certain. But I do suspect the longer you wait to fix the problem (don't be an ass like me), the less you get to live and the more you suffer down the line.
BUT....for today...for now...being a zero is nice.
I want to stay a big zero when it comes to this.
I can cross my legs. I can touch my head to my knees. I can go up a flight of stairs without being winded. I can walk and feel strong and buoyant, simultaneously. I take such joy in doing these things I could not do before.
And I"m still fat. Overweight.
Just not obese. :)
What stage are you in? Don't you wanna be a ZERO?
Some docs want better ways to gauge obesity and its effect. So, I was reading the stages in the Edmonton Obesity Staging System:
STAGE 0: Patient has no apparent obesity-related risk factors (e.g., blood pressure, serum lipids, fasting glucose, etc. within normal range), no physical symptoms, no psychopathology, no functional limitations and/or impairment of well being.
STAGE 1: Patient has obesity-related subclinical risk factor(s) (e.g., borderline hypertension, impaired fasting glucose, elevated liver enzymes, etc.), mild physical symptoms (e.g., dyspnea on moderate exertion, occasional aches and pains, fatigue, etc.), mild psychopathology, mild functional limitations and/or mild impairment of well being.
STAGE 2: Patient has established obesity-related chronic disease(s) (e.g., hypertension, type 2 diabetes, sleep apnea, osteoarthritis, reflux disease, polycystic ovary syndrome, anxiety disorder, etc.), moderate limitations in activities of daily living and/or well being.
STAGE 3: Patient has established end-organ damage such as myocardial infarction, heart failure, diabetic complications, incapacitating osteoarthritis, significant psychopathology, significant functional limitation(s) and/or impairment of well being.
STAGE 4: Patient has severe (potentially end-stage) disability/ies from obesity-related chronic diseases, severe disabling psychopathology, severe functional limitation(s) and/or severe impairment of well being.
And I realized this:
At my very highest at just about 300 lbs, I would have to self-categorize myself as having dipped into Stage 3 for a spell. Not cause of organ damage (though I was damaging my liver, had elevated enzymes, Ultrasound showed non-alcoholic fatty liver disease), but cause my activities were severely impacted. Movement...breathing...sleeping...and depression was rampant. "Impairment" of well-being, oh, yeah.
I spent most of my morbid obesity in Stage 2. No question about it.
I look over the criteria, and realize I'm a ZERO, just from how I feel and what doc says: Prediabetes resolved. No hypertension drug now. HDL and triglycerides, amazing. LDL higher, but good LDL particle size. Apnea pretty much gone, no waking up choking... though I'm asleep, so can't really tell for sure, hah. Reflux gone. Liver hasn't been rechecked via ultrasound, but I'm guessing way, way less fatty. Easier to move (exercise!). Energy high. Depression not in sight. Joy of life, even with its sad moments--considerable.
I do have damage--to skin, to joints, to liver, I'm sure--from having been obese for more than 2 decades. No joke. You pay a price! I suspect the longer one is obese, the more price to be paid. Some things are irrevocable. Lifespan may be impacted for sure. We can't know for certain. But I do suspect the longer you wait to fix the problem (don't be an ass like me), the less you get to live and the more you suffer down the line.
BUT....for today...for now...being a zero is nice.
I want to stay a big zero when it comes to this.
I can cross my legs. I can touch my head to my knees. I can go up a flight of stairs without being winded. I can walk and feel strong and buoyant, simultaneously. I take such joy in doing these things I could not do before.
And I"m still fat. Overweight.
Just not obese. :)
What stage are you in? Don't you wanna be a ZERO?
Friday, August 12, 2011
Some Princess Dieter comments and links speaking on the Theories & Complex Factors on the Matter of Becoming Obese and Getting NOT Obese and a Quote ....on a lazy, bloated, wanna-nap day...
Scale is up from salt and added carbs these last 4 days--both of which cause water retention and scale stalls in me, historically. I knoweth of what I speak.
As much as I have enjoyed the added taters, sushi rice (with my veggie sushi), and brown rice (with my grilled chicken and veggies) this past week, and as much as my salt-hungering tongue loved the dips into soy sauce and shakes of the Celtic sea salt, and as much as my fruit-addict self loves summer's bounty of colorful sweet beauties, it's time to get back on program and stop being slackerish on my tracking.
No binges. No massive overages (though I have gone over calories twice this week). It's just me being hungry again from the carbs. I know it. I've doubled my fruit intake. While that may be a heathful food option, raw fruit, it's still too much in the sugars department for my metabolically not-normal body.
So, back to more veggies, fruit moderation (noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, weep, weep) and scaling back on tubers and rice. I won't ever eliminate them, but I got too loose with allowances. Once or twice a week, fine. But almost every day this week, even modest portions not so fine. For me, it's NOT just calories--it's insulin. It's appetite. I felt my appetite growing and my night-time snack urges return. I want them to go away again and regain the Zen Appetite. :D
Yesterday, I walked and did Pilates. 1 hour and 20 minutes of exercise. Felt good. I'm sore.
Lots of interesting discussions out there in LowCarb/Paleo/Primal blogs after the Ancestral Health Symposium (AHS).
I'd recommend this one first: There is no single cause of (or treatment for) obesity
And I recommend this one for the lucid and gracious third reaction to the Taubes/Guyunet debate by Dr. Paul Jaminet.
For me, recognizing the food-reward research/findings set me on the road to loss. That was pivotal for me. Then Taubes anti-carb pronouncements helped me see my Insulin Resistant status needed a careful eye on starches/sugars. Dr. Jaminets (and others) on toxins/inflammatory foods helped me realize that as a person with a big family history of and personal affliction with auto-immune diseases, I need to consider THAT aspect as well. All three have served me.
But I agree with Healthy Skeptic--it's a very, very complex situation and it requires looking at the variables. Not all situations are equal, because not all bodies function the same.
However, caloric restriction works. We Challengers know it.
And yet, most dieters who lose regain. Or never make goal at all.
How can one keep on a restricted diet for life (if needed), if the appetite is insane or binges are an issue? Even bariatric surgical patients have issues with regain, so how could it not be for those lacking the assist of constricted stomachs or rejiggered intestines?
If wanting or wishing were both = to doing, no one would be fat.
And why don't all people lose at the same rate on the same calories? Not everyone maintains on the same calories, even if they are of the same height and weight. Not everyone is as healthy or energetic or satisfied with their meals or nourished on the same QUANTITY of calories. Bodies differ. Medical status differs. Types of food ingested differ. Fluids processed differ (ask a kidney disease patient about that one.) Carbs tolerance differs --ask an I.R. or diabetic person about that. Tolerances of foods differ--ask a celiac disease or I.B.S. sufferer about that. Fat metabolism differs--some of us absorb and fill up fat cells more efficiently. Some of us release fat from cells LESS efficiently. THere are genetic tests for that. Some folks swell up fast with salt. Some are barely bothered. Some are metabolically more efficient and their bodies ratchet up to burn excess calories. Some just make more fat and don't elevate temperature or activity naturally to compensate.
Variables.
Because I'm genetically a fat-hoarder (if I eat too high fat like some low-carbers, I'm screwed), and auto-immune (I can't have some things that don't seem to bother others), allergic (some food groups are totally out to me, limiting what I can eat), and a hyperconditioned overeater (I do respond to the food-reward combo of fat/starches-sugars/salt, so I have to restrict or avoid trigger hyperpalatable foods or I BINGE). I also have hypothyroidism and that affects metabolism and mood and makes losing weight harder. (Saw what happened to Linda Ronstadt when her thyroid went kaput?) I'm post-menopausal, so I need fewer calories than when younger. Age is also an impediment, though not a solid wall 100 feet high.
Impediments aren't insurmountable, they can just make it harder, make it slower, make it maybe necessary to get MORE professional help.
I'm a genetic, medical, neurotic mess. I need to read and study and work to get over the hurdles to lose weight. For me, every pound is a fight. I'm never gonna be the stellar "Lost 8 pounds a week" type. Oh, no. But I made it out of obesity and just wanna stay outta obesity, even if no one ever nicknames me "Slim." :) It's about health for me. Not Perfect Health (as that has always been beyond me, since birth), but better health.
I've said for nearly a year to assorted friends and relatives who ask that I've lost on both low-fat and lower-carb, but that for me, moderating carbs is an appetite suppressor in a way low-fat never was. But that both break the reward cycle and can help people with that. I still believe this. But I think every person should examine their individual situation and see how many of these variables discussed out there on bariatric matters--toxins, carbs, protein, fat, low fat, low carb, low toxin, hyperpalatability, food-reward, etc--and see which are the predominant factors in YOUR life. Depending you YOUR issues, you may need to tweak how you eat or see a counselor or dietitian or specialist in endocrinology. It's not one diet plan fits all.
I also do believe you must reduce caloric intake (as a nation, we freaking eat too much crap and some of us too much even of the good stuff). But I think that for those of us with crazy big appetites, it's worth looking at appetite suppressing properties in moderating carbs/starches/sugars.
Whatever your individual situation is--and you may be much healthier than me and not saddled with a plethora of genetic wackiness, or you may be WORSE off and feel hopeless--just know that you can learn a lot from the scientists and sociologists and psychologists out there working to see how to solve our problems. But it will come down, as transformations always do, to working your butt off and developing new habits It's hard. But it's not hopeless.
Here are a couple ofs quote from Dr. Jaminet--just two the many I read this afternoon among the blogs chattering after the AHS:
~~Paul Jaminet, co-author of THE PERFECT HEALTH DIET
As much as I have enjoyed the added taters, sushi rice (with my veggie sushi), and brown rice (with my grilled chicken and veggies) this past week, and as much as my salt-hungering tongue loved the dips into soy sauce and shakes of the Celtic sea salt, and as much as my fruit-addict self loves summer's bounty of colorful sweet beauties, it's time to get back on program and stop being slackerish on my tracking.
No binges. No massive overages (though I have gone over calories twice this week). It's just me being hungry again from the carbs. I know it. I've doubled my fruit intake. While that may be a heathful food option, raw fruit, it's still too much in the sugars department for my metabolically not-normal body.
So, back to more veggies, fruit moderation (noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, weep, weep) and scaling back on tubers and rice. I won't ever eliminate them, but I got too loose with allowances. Once or twice a week, fine. But almost every day this week, even modest portions not so fine. For me, it's NOT just calories--it's insulin. It's appetite. I felt my appetite growing and my night-time snack urges return. I want them to go away again and regain the Zen Appetite. :D
Yesterday, I walked and did Pilates. 1 hour and 20 minutes of exercise. Felt good. I'm sore.
Lots of interesting discussions out there in LowCarb/Paleo/Primal blogs after the Ancestral Health Symposium (AHS).
I'd recommend this one first: There is no single cause of (or treatment for) obesity
And I recommend this one for the lucid and gracious third reaction to the Taubes/Guyunet debate by Dr. Paul Jaminet.
For me, recognizing the food-reward research/findings set me on the road to loss. That was pivotal for me. Then Taubes anti-carb pronouncements helped me see my Insulin Resistant status needed a careful eye on starches/sugars. Dr. Jaminets (and others) on toxins/inflammatory foods helped me realize that as a person with a big family history of and personal affliction with auto-immune diseases, I need to consider THAT aspect as well. All three have served me.
But I agree with Healthy Skeptic--it's a very, very complex situation and it requires looking at the variables. Not all situations are equal, because not all bodies function the same.
However, caloric restriction works. We Challengers know it.
And yet, most dieters who lose regain. Or never make goal at all.
How can one keep on a restricted diet for life (if needed), if the appetite is insane or binges are an issue? Even bariatric surgical patients have issues with regain, so how could it not be for those lacking the assist of constricted stomachs or rejiggered intestines?
If wanting or wishing were both = to doing, no one would be fat.
And why don't all people lose at the same rate on the same calories? Not everyone maintains on the same calories, even if they are of the same height and weight. Not everyone is as healthy or energetic or satisfied with their meals or nourished on the same QUANTITY of calories. Bodies differ. Medical status differs. Types of food ingested differ. Fluids processed differ (ask a kidney disease patient about that one.) Carbs tolerance differs --ask an I.R. or diabetic person about that. Tolerances of foods differ--ask a celiac disease or I.B.S. sufferer about that. Fat metabolism differs--some of us absorb and fill up fat cells more efficiently. Some of us release fat from cells LESS efficiently. THere are genetic tests for that. Some folks swell up fast with salt. Some are barely bothered. Some are metabolically more efficient and their bodies ratchet up to burn excess calories. Some just make more fat and don't elevate temperature or activity naturally to compensate.
Variables.
Because I'm genetically a fat-hoarder (if I eat too high fat like some low-carbers, I'm screwed), and auto-immune (I can't have some things that don't seem to bother others), allergic (some food groups are totally out to me, limiting what I can eat), and a hyperconditioned overeater (I do respond to the food-reward combo of fat/starches-sugars/salt, so I have to restrict or avoid trigger hyperpalatable foods or I BINGE). I also have hypothyroidism and that affects metabolism and mood and makes losing weight harder. (Saw what happened to Linda Ronstadt when her thyroid went kaput?) I'm post-menopausal, so I need fewer calories than when younger. Age is also an impediment, though not a solid wall 100 feet high.
Impediments aren't insurmountable, they can just make it harder, make it slower, make it maybe necessary to get MORE professional help.
I'm a genetic, medical, neurotic mess. I need to read and study and work to get over the hurdles to lose weight. For me, every pound is a fight. I'm never gonna be the stellar "Lost 8 pounds a week" type. Oh, no. But I made it out of obesity and just wanna stay outta obesity, even if no one ever nicknames me "Slim." :) It's about health for me. Not Perfect Health (as that has always been beyond me, since birth), but better health.
I've said for nearly a year to assorted friends and relatives who ask that I've lost on both low-fat and lower-carb, but that for me, moderating carbs is an appetite suppressor in a way low-fat never was. But that both break the reward cycle and can help people with that. I still believe this. But I think every person should examine their individual situation and see how many of these variables discussed out there on bariatric matters--toxins, carbs, protein, fat, low fat, low carb, low toxin, hyperpalatability, food-reward, etc--and see which are the predominant factors in YOUR life. Depending you YOUR issues, you may need to tweak how you eat or see a counselor or dietitian or specialist in endocrinology. It's not one diet plan fits all.
I also do believe you must reduce caloric intake (as a nation, we freaking eat too much crap and some of us too much even of the good stuff). But I think that for those of us with crazy big appetites, it's worth looking at appetite suppressing properties in moderating carbs/starches/sugars.
Whatever your individual situation is--and you may be much healthier than me and not saddled with a plethora of genetic wackiness, or you may be WORSE off and feel hopeless--just know that you can learn a lot from the scientists and sociologists and psychologists out there working to see how to solve our problems. But it will come down, as transformations always do, to working your butt off and developing new habits It's hard. But it's not hopeless.
Here are a couple ofs quote from Dr. Jaminet--just two the many I read this afternoon among the blogs chattering after the AHS:
It seems to be easiest to induce obesity with a roughly equal mix of carbs and fat; both low-carb and low-fat diets tend to be less obesogenic. This result is compatible with Stephan’s views because carb and fat together are more rewarding than either alone, and with my views because carb-fat combinations can be highly toxic – for instance, a fructose-PUFA combination is more toxic than either alone; or carbs feed gut pathogens while fats carry their toxins into the body.
...
Due to the diversity of factors which conspire to cause obesity, it is a rather heterogeneous disease. Its unifying character is that some combination of causal factors induces “metabolic damage,” such as leptin resistance, in a variety of organs, including the brain. Metabolic damage can affect both appetite regulation and energy homeostasis.
~~Paul Jaminet, co-author of THE PERFECT HEALTH DIET
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Sore. Relieved. Sad. Blessed. Grateful. Bloated. Sis Strategy. Sweet Potatoes?
Sore: MY MUSCLES HURT! My first Pilates training session since the family tragedy. It's been four weeks. I put my all into it. We did the whole body. And though I'm normally only feeling the soreness the night AFTER, I felt it as soon as I moved to get up. Ow. That's great, right?
I love feeling that feeling. Muscles: build away.
Relieved: My sister's pericardial effusion is resolving on the corticosteroid, and so no surgical intervention is planned for now. Her grief is huge and pressing on her, and her 70-year old body is trying hard to stand against it. But I'm relieved no surgery. Thank you, God.
Sad: Just one of those "I woke up missing the gone" days. Also, I've visited some blogs today, and some made me feel sad cause some folks are having hard times with the eating or their health. I know that story too well. I've never had perfect health and still envy those who do or know what that's like. I don't. I won't ever in this body. I gotta wait for the resurrection to have that inkling. If you want to share some of the sadness, read this post. Read it especially if you have blood sugar issues/are at risk for diabetes/are not working on losing the fat and getting healthy. Don't close the barn door too late. And please pray for Deb. She is in a time of seeking...and I wish her only the greatest wisdom and peace as she does.
Blessed: Even with all the worries on my mind this summer, I can say I'm blessed in many ways and I choose to be grateful for the love and goodness God has allowed into my life. It's the only way to keep any perspective when times are hard--financially, emotionally, dietetically, medically, relationally, etc.
Can you walk? Blessed. Can you see? Blessed. Can you hear? Blessed. Do you have clean running water in your home? Blessed. Shoot, do you HAVE a home? Blessed. Is there healthful food in your home? Blessed. (And if you doubt it's an enormous blessing, think of East Africa's trials right now. And give--I chose World Vision, as I've sponsored a couple kids in Africa through them for 13 years now.) Does someone love you? Blessed.Blessed. Are you mostly pain-free? Blessed. Can you think, imagine, dream, hope, strive with your own hands, work, sleep, and wake again to a new day of a life in a free land? Blessed.
Bloated: And I'm blessed even when the scale goes up cause of sodium bloat. I had gone about 20 hours without eating, and right in the middle of my walk, I got hungry. Just got really hungry. I detoured to a local sushi place and in 5 minutes was back walking, with a small takeout bag in my hand. Incentive to walk FASTER to get home. Hah.
Aw, man, that avocado sushi and kappa roll with my first meal of the day were lovely, but the starch and soy sauce bloat, not so much. Glad I exercised hard yesterday--my 55 minute Pilates and 30 minute brisk walk. It was a starchy indulgence.
Sis Strategy: That's my sister's treat method--middle one, not eldest with the heart issue now. If she wants something "off plan", she makes herself walk to get it, eat it, walk back, and burn off the calories. So, if she wants pizza, instead of a bus or drive, she walks to the pizzeria, and figures out how much more exercise she needs to burn it off. Always has done that. And back in her younger days, she was down to a size 6 (old size 6, which is more like a 2 or 4 in today's sizing). And she only got up a bit in weight (she's in the 160s now) in her SIXTIES and with illness keeping her inside more in the heat. But she was always incredibly shapely, lean, and PAID for her treats with movement. I should have learned that system ages ago, huh?
The sushi place was about 15 minutes away, walking. :) I wonder how much I burned off of that rice?
Sweet Potatoes? Our American kids raise funds for their schools selling candy or crap plastic "made in China" products that don't work or last. Japanese kiddes sell...sweet potatoes? Wow. That's interesting. And they're cute, too, in those yellow hat. Lookee here. Looks like they even plant and grow those babies themselves. Hm. That in part may explain why their kids aren't ballooning to insane weights and early diabetes in as rapid a pace or rate as ours. I'm sick of seeing kids selling candy bars to raise money, or cookies, or cakes. How about they sell fresh fruit? A bag of no sugar/no salt trail mix? How about they sell baked sweet potatoes? Or have an herb harden they tend (exercise) and sell bundles of basil, dill, chives, oregano, cilantro, etc. :) Oh, right. People will spend it on crap, not fresh, real food, is that the obstacle? Sad. I've not bought Girl Scout cookies for years. I'd happily buy Girl Scout Herbs and Lettuces. :D
Today, count your blessings, pray for those struggling, support those you can, accept support if you need it, eat healthfully, move well, rest deeply, and say thank you for the simple and beautiful and needful and enlightening things in your life.
Be well...
I love feeling that feeling. Muscles: build away.
Relieved: My sister's pericardial effusion is resolving on the corticosteroid, and so no surgical intervention is planned for now. Her grief is huge and pressing on her, and her 70-year old body is trying hard to stand against it. But I'm relieved no surgery. Thank you, God.
Sad: Just one of those "I woke up missing the gone" days. Also, I've visited some blogs today, and some made me feel sad cause some folks are having hard times with the eating or their health. I know that story too well. I've never had perfect health and still envy those who do or know what that's like. I don't. I won't ever in this body. I gotta wait for the resurrection to have that inkling. If you want to share some of the sadness, read this post. Read it especially if you have blood sugar issues/are at risk for diabetes/are not working on losing the fat and getting healthy. Don't close the barn door too late. And please pray for Deb. She is in a time of seeking...and I wish her only the greatest wisdom and peace as she does.
Blessed: Even with all the worries on my mind this summer, I can say I'm blessed in many ways and I choose to be grateful for the love and goodness God has allowed into my life. It's the only way to keep any perspective when times are hard--financially, emotionally, dietetically, medically, relationally, etc.
Can you walk? Blessed. Can you see? Blessed. Can you hear? Blessed. Do you have clean running water in your home? Blessed. Shoot, do you HAVE a home? Blessed. Is there healthful food in your home? Blessed. (And if you doubt it's an enormous blessing, think of East Africa's trials right now. And give--I chose World Vision, as I've sponsored a couple kids in Africa through them for 13 years now.) Does someone love you? Blessed.Blessed. Are you mostly pain-free? Blessed. Can you think, imagine, dream, hope, strive with your own hands, work, sleep, and wake again to a new day of a life in a free land? Blessed.
Bloated: And I'm blessed even when the scale goes up cause of sodium bloat. I had gone about 20 hours without eating, and right in the middle of my walk, I got hungry. Just got really hungry. I detoured to a local sushi place and in 5 minutes was back walking, with a small takeout bag in my hand. Incentive to walk FASTER to get home. Hah.
Aw, man, that avocado sushi and kappa roll with my first meal of the day were lovely, but the starch and soy sauce bloat, not so much. Glad I exercised hard yesterday--my 55 minute Pilates and 30 minute brisk walk. It was a starchy indulgence.
Sis Strategy: That's my sister's treat method--middle one, not eldest with the heart issue now. If she wants something "off plan", she makes herself walk to get it, eat it, walk back, and burn off the calories. So, if she wants pizza, instead of a bus or drive, she walks to the pizzeria, and figures out how much more exercise she needs to burn it off. Always has done that. And back in her younger days, she was down to a size 6 (old size 6, which is more like a 2 or 4 in today's sizing). And she only got up a bit in weight (she's in the 160s now) in her SIXTIES and with illness keeping her inside more in the heat. But she was always incredibly shapely, lean, and PAID for her treats with movement. I should have learned that system ages ago, huh?
The sushi place was about 15 minutes away, walking. :) I wonder how much I burned off of that rice?
Sweet Potatoes? Our American kids raise funds for their schools selling candy or crap plastic "made in China" products that don't work or last. Japanese kiddes sell...sweet potatoes? Wow. That's interesting. And they're cute, too, in those yellow hat. Lookee here. Looks like they even plant and grow those babies themselves. Hm. That in part may explain why their kids aren't ballooning to insane weights and early diabetes in as rapid a pace or rate as ours. I'm sick of seeing kids selling candy bars to raise money, or cookies, or cakes. How about they sell fresh fruit? A bag of no sugar/no salt trail mix? How about they sell baked sweet potatoes? Or have an herb harden they tend (exercise) and sell bundles of basil, dill, chives, oregano, cilantro, etc. :) Oh, right. People will spend it on crap, not fresh, real food, is that the obstacle? Sad. I've not bought Girl Scout cookies for years. I'd happily buy Girl Scout Herbs and Lettuces. :D
Today, count your blessings, pray for those struggling, support those you can, accept support if you need it, eat healthfully, move well, rest deeply, and say thank you for the simple and beautiful and needful and enlightening things in your life.
Be well...
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Update...and it's not good
Barring divine intervention, my nephew might pass away by end of Friday. So, really....I'm not home much and I spend most of my time keeping my sister, his mom, from diving off the deep end and trying to stay sane myself. My nephew is close to me in age, moreso than my siblings, so I grew up with him like he was my little brother. We went to the same grammar school and I took care of him and his sis on summer vacation, cooking pancakes and eggs and being silly kids.
And I totally can't wrap my mind around the reality that I--again, barring a no-doubt-about-it miracle that raises the brain-dead--won't ever talk to him again on this earth.
Well, life can suck really bad sometimes. It's beyond awful right now.
Thank you for your prayers and please pray for my sister and BIL and niece. We have a large extended family, so we fill up to overflowing the ICU waiting room (which is pretty roomy) . They've been very kind to let us visit, by 2s and sometimes by 3s to see him. WE're talking dozens of Latinos weeping and drinking coffee and reminiscing and weeping in these rooms. All for one 44 year old guy who, to me, is still that little boy who loved to draw and fish and eat French Fries for breakfast.
Again, thank you for your kind comments and prayers.
I don't know when I'll be in the mood to return. We have no idea when what will happen will happen, aside from the likelihood that it will be soon....and that his 12 year old daughter will be told tomorrow the horrible reality of why dad is in the hospital.
And I totally can't wrap my mind around the reality that I--again, barring a no-doubt-about-it miracle that raises the brain-dead--won't ever talk to him again on this earth.
Well, life can suck really bad sometimes. It's beyond awful right now.
Thank you for your prayers and please pray for my sister and BIL and niece. We have a large extended family, so we fill up to overflowing the ICU waiting room (which is pretty roomy) . They've been very kind to let us visit, by 2s and sometimes by 3s to see him. WE're talking dozens of Latinos weeping and drinking coffee and reminiscing and weeping in these rooms. All for one 44 year old guy who, to me, is still that little boy who loved to draw and fish and eat French Fries for breakfast.
Again, thank you for your kind comments and prayers.
I don't know when I'll be in the mood to return. We have no idea when what will happen will happen, aside from the likelihood that it will be soon....and that his 12 year old daughter will be told tomorrow the horrible reality of why dad is in the hospital.
Thursday, June 16, 2011
Day 11 of 84 in the StSC: Trying not to get bummed, and what inspires me to keep going...
Scale is almost at a standstill, as I myself have been pretty much at a standstill...or is that a sit-still or lie-still? The knee is better, but still feels unstable...like sometimes I'm walking and it feels...loose, like it'll give a bit. Still aches a bit. But much improved.
Lying around/sitting around has not improved either my appetite or the scale progress. So frustrating: 193.2 Only a half pound in all these days.My appetite increase is likely due to a sort of mental association reversion thing: "Oh, are we back to the sitting/lying around like an anemic slug days again? Whoopee. Let's have some fried cheese! Or a bacon-cheeseburger deluxe, followed by chocolate cake!"
Yeah, something about just being inactive has put me in some weird "I wanna eat to comfort myself" zone. And it affects my mood.
Sucks. But I'm fighting it. I've had closer to 1400 calories (1385 yesterday) and still had to fight off the eat more urges. I suppose this is something to get used to and learn to handle, since it will happen from time to time. I will have injuries/disease. I will have inactive days/weeks, perhaps (Lord, forbid) months. At 51, the fall made me reassess my fragility (I do worry about these wonky knees of mine and the arthritis). I think it's the whole, "I"m old, getting older, am scared" thing that affected my mood. Well, and not having my walking endorphins. :-/
But I ain't giving up. I will fight past the inactivity setback and mood dip and will emerge with my fighting spirit on fire.
Not giving up. Part of this challenge is to keep going, and that's for life. Keep going for health for life....
Thank God for support. Hubby has been affectionate and attentive and it keeps me from getting too bummed out. I was cheered last night viewing some of his pro pics. (I got him a deal for professional photos, since he does classes/conferences and has his second edition of his book coming out, for resumes, etc, I wanted GOOD pics in assorted poses, for various users. For his gamer mode, author mode, engineer mode, Frisbee-er mode, business mode, manly mode, and just some fun ones for me to drool over.)
Here's one where I like his expression a lot, cause his intelligence and sweetness both shine in it:
And this is his new suit (bought last week, cause he's dropped oodles of pounds and old suits don't fit). I insisted on sexy, basic, quality BLACK. Nothing professionally sexier on a man than a BLACK basic suit (lower rez, cause I couldn't get them to FLIP on blogger. Anyone know how to flip photos on blogger?):
And here is a smiley gamer hubby:
Anyway, fluids good, prayer good. Exercise and encouragement, not so much. Sorry.
Today, I'm going to Pilates and I suppose we'll work around the knee. Maybe upper body stuff.
Later, peops! Fight the good fatfight!
UPDATE: Got back from Pilates. Am eating my satay chicken, salad, fruit and French press Sumatra java. Yum. Knee is aching and throbbing. We had to stick to upper body and reposition me so the knee wasn't strained. It was tough. I had some dizzy spells. Trainer says stay off, no walking, and if in a week it's still unstable and hurting, must see ortho. Um, yeah, figured that one out.
On to the goals, no matter what....!
Lying around/sitting around has not improved either my appetite or the scale progress. So frustrating: 193.2 Only a half pound in all these days.My appetite increase is likely due to a sort of mental association reversion thing: "Oh, are we back to the sitting/lying around like an anemic slug days again? Whoopee. Let's have some fried cheese! Or a bacon-cheeseburger deluxe, followed by chocolate cake!"
Yeah, something about just being inactive has put me in some weird "I wanna eat to comfort myself" zone. And it affects my mood.
Sucks. But I'm fighting it. I've had closer to 1400 calories (1385 yesterday) and still had to fight off the eat more urges. I suppose this is something to get used to and learn to handle, since it will happen from time to time. I will have injuries/disease. I will have inactive days/weeks, perhaps (Lord, forbid) months. At 51, the fall made me reassess my fragility (I do worry about these wonky knees of mine and the arthritis). I think it's the whole, "I"m old, getting older, am scared" thing that affected my mood. Well, and not having my walking endorphins. :-/
But I ain't giving up. I will fight past the inactivity setback and mood dip and will emerge with my fighting spirit on fire.
Not giving up. Part of this challenge is to keep going, and that's for life. Keep going for health for life....
Thank God for support. Hubby has been affectionate and attentive and it keeps me from getting too bummed out. I was cheered last night viewing some of his pro pics. (I got him a deal for professional photos, since he does classes/conferences and has his second edition of his book coming out, for resumes, etc, I wanted GOOD pics in assorted poses, for various users. For his gamer mode, author mode, engineer mode, Frisbee-er mode, business mode, manly mode, and just some fun ones for me to drool over.)
Here's one where I like his expression a lot, cause his intelligence and sweetness both shine in it:
 |
| mmmmmmmmmmmm,.so hot.... |
And here is a smiley gamer hubby:
Anyway, fluids good, prayer good. Exercise and encouragement, not so much. Sorry.
Today, I'm going to Pilates and I suppose we'll work around the knee. Maybe upper body stuff.
Later, peops! Fight the good fatfight!
UPDATE: Got back from Pilates. Am eating my satay chicken, salad, fruit and French press Sumatra java. Yum. Knee is aching and throbbing. We had to stick to upper body and reposition me so the knee wasn't strained. It was tough. I had some dizzy spells. Trainer says stay off, no walking, and if in a week it's still unstable and hurting, must see ortho. Um, yeah, figured that one out.
On to the goals, no matter what....!
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Day 9 of 84 in the StSC: The Good, The Very Good, The Very VERY Good,The Bad, & The Ugly....or why I didn't post yesterday and what I did today and what I won't do today or maybe tomorrow, either...
The Good: Despite my hubby misplacing my keys (ie not putting them in the bowl I use for my keys, hence, *I* never lose them) and causing me to lose 1/2 hour of Pilates time, I did get some work in. And the soreness means it was a good 30 mins.
The Bad: After Pilates, I went to the farmer's market, and there I fell a big one and banged up my worse of two bad knees. Everyone was nice and helpful and the employee took my info in case it turned out to be more than the swelling and bruising already forming... It hurts.
The Ugly: My knee. It's swollen, green with bruises, red with scrapes, and making popping noises.
The Good: I could walk. Granted, I felt some discomfort in movement, but I finished getting my good produce before heading home.
The Bad: I had to ice my leg all afternoon and evening and stayed off my feet pretty much, meaning no cardio. I dozed a lot and missed blogging or reading blogs that I didn't get to early in the day.
The Good: Had an appointment with my endocrinologist today, and she was VERY pleased with my big weight loss since she last saw me. I was in the 240's when she saw me last. I was 197 on the scale there (with sneakers and clothes, etc).
The Very Good: I was taken off the BP meds. Recall that I saw my doc last week and she reduced me to every other day half dose. Well, my blood pressure was 84/46, which alarmed the doc, and she said to stop taking it. I conjectured that this might be the reason that I was a bit spacey and didn't notice the corner of the platform sticking out. The platform is where I clipped my leg and lost my balance, leading to my fall at the farmer's market. I'm klutzy, but not THAT klutzy. I haven't had a spill in public since I slipped on a cheeseburger someone dropped outside a McD's back in 1989. Long time.
She also reduced my thyroid meds a scosh, as I'm lighter now and was subclinically hyperthyroid (slightly) and don't need as much. From 137 levoxyl to 125. No change in Cytomel. Yay.
The Very VERY Good: She says I have, and I quote, " now resolved my prediabetes." This calls for a big ole whoop, three cheers, and a lap around the block. Since my knee is still swollen and achy, the lap is delayed, but WHOO!!!! and "Hooray, hooray, hooray!"Those were words I have been longing to hear. A1c was good and Glucose (fasting) was 84. My last several readings ranged from 99 down to 92.
The Good, Very Good, Bad, then Good: Lipid panel showed increase in TOTAL cholesterol (included the calculated, not counted and analyzed LDL). It was the LDL that messed it up. HDL is high at 56 (meaning it's excellent). Triglycerides are wonderfully low at 49. I had requested a Lipid Profile from my primary last time, and she called me yesterday to say the LDL profile was good (ie, my LDL is principally the beneficial/neutral "fluffy" type, not the dense and dangerous type.). So, I am not concerned, but the doc asked I take red yeast rice. I put the kibbosh right off on any statins or presription drugs. I know what they do to me (bad, bad, stuff and crap quality of brain/life from side effects), but I'm willing to try the natural one, as long as I don't get muscle/liver issues.
If you do low-carb, lower-carb, moderate-carb, with higher fats (especially things like coconut oil and butter/ghee), always make sure you get the LDL profile (actual analysis of LDL) and not just the formula calculation of LDL, cause the type of LDL matters a helluva lot, and if you are eating, say, Primarian, Primal/Paleo, or LC, this will affect HDL/Trig positively and can have either a positive or adverse effect on LDL. I don't douse my food in butter or oils, as I have to count calories, so I was only concerned with the profile of the LDL (ie, I didn't want the deadly one). But don't go by calculated LDL. It's misleading when one makes certain dietary changes.
So, medically, there we are up to date. Now I need X-rays for my hips/coccyx and a bone density scan. The last is cause I'm post-menopausal and have taken steroids my whole life in pills and injection form due to really bad asthma since infancy, so doc thinks I might be osteopenic due to that. Great, right?
On the plus side, she took a quick look at the knee and thinks that it's just soft tissue damage. I hear additional weird pops in the knee, but the swelling MIGHT account for that. If that doesn't resolve, I guess an orthopedist visit is in my near future.
What's not in my near future is any exercise of weight bearing type. I was anxious about this. Even voiced it to hubby..okay, and doc, too. hahaha. I don't wanna slow my loss or mess up my fitness level, and trust me, I'd never have believed in all my previous adult years that I'd be worred about NOT BEING ABLE to do my walking exercises or other knee-use ones. It still stuns me that my first thought after the fall--after the, "Please, God, don't let my bones be broken!"--was, "Oh, hell. Will this impede my workouts!!???"
Lifestyle change, right?
Anyway, a quick recap of the Challenge related stuff for yesterday:
Calories: 1350
Fluids: in
Exercise: 30 mins Pilates, no work on the push-ups.
Prayer: Yep.
Blogging: Nope.
Encouragement: Some
Quitting: Not a chance. But, well, rehabbing, mebbe. :D
I hope all the challengers are finding the second week still full of spirit and motivation. Let's keep at it until we make it to the goal line!
Be well. Off I go to use my Frieling French press and make me some yummy java and drink my water....
The Bad: After Pilates, I went to the farmer's market, and there I fell a big one and banged up my worse of two bad knees. Everyone was nice and helpful and the employee took my info in case it turned out to be more than the swelling and bruising already forming... It hurts.
The Ugly: My knee. It's swollen, green with bruises, red with scrapes, and making popping noises.
The Good: I could walk. Granted, I felt some discomfort in movement, but I finished getting my good produce before heading home.
The Bad: I had to ice my leg all afternoon and evening and stayed off my feet pretty much, meaning no cardio. I dozed a lot and missed blogging or reading blogs that I didn't get to early in the day.
The Good: Had an appointment with my endocrinologist today, and she was VERY pleased with my big weight loss since she last saw me. I was in the 240's when she saw me last. I was 197 on the scale there (with sneakers and clothes, etc).
The Very Good: I was taken off the BP meds. Recall that I saw my doc last week and she reduced me to every other day half dose. Well, my blood pressure was 84/46, which alarmed the doc, and she said to stop taking it. I conjectured that this might be the reason that I was a bit spacey and didn't notice the corner of the platform sticking out. The platform is where I clipped my leg and lost my balance, leading to my fall at the farmer's market. I'm klutzy, but not THAT klutzy. I haven't had a spill in public since I slipped on a cheeseburger someone dropped outside a McD's back in 1989. Long time.
She also reduced my thyroid meds a scosh, as I'm lighter now and was subclinically hyperthyroid (slightly) and don't need as much. From 137 levoxyl to 125. No change in Cytomel. Yay.
The Very VERY Good: She says I have, and I quote, " now resolved my prediabetes." This calls for a big ole whoop, three cheers, and a lap around the block. Since my knee is still swollen and achy, the lap is delayed, but WHOO!!!! and "Hooray, hooray, hooray!"Those were words I have been longing to hear. A1c was good and Glucose (fasting) was 84. My last several readings ranged from 99 down to 92.
The Good, Very Good, Bad, then Good: Lipid panel showed increase in TOTAL cholesterol (included the calculated, not counted and analyzed LDL). It was the LDL that messed it up. HDL is high at 56 (meaning it's excellent). Triglycerides are wonderfully low at 49. I had requested a Lipid Profile from my primary last time, and she called me yesterday to say the LDL profile was good (ie, my LDL is principally the beneficial/neutral "fluffy" type, not the dense and dangerous type.). So, I am not concerned, but the doc asked I take red yeast rice. I put the kibbosh right off on any statins or presription drugs. I know what they do to me (bad, bad, stuff and crap quality of brain/life from side effects), but I'm willing to try the natural one, as long as I don't get muscle/liver issues.
If you do low-carb, lower-carb, moderate-carb, with higher fats (especially things like coconut oil and butter/ghee), always make sure you get the LDL profile (actual analysis of LDL) and not just the formula calculation of LDL, cause the type of LDL matters a helluva lot, and if you are eating, say, Primarian, Primal/Paleo, or LC, this will affect HDL/Trig positively and can have either a positive or adverse effect on LDL. I don't douse my food in butter or oils, as I have to count calories, so I was only concerned with the profile of the LDL (ie, I didn't want the deadly one). But don't go by calculated LDL. It's misleading when one makes certain dietary changes.
So, medically, there we are up to date. Now I need X-rays for my hips/coccyx and a bone density scan. The last is cause I'm post-menopausal and have taken steroids my whole life in pills and injection form due to really bad asthma since infancy, so doc thinks I might be osteopenic due to that. Great, right?
On the plus side, she took a quick look at the knee and thinks that it's just soft tissue damage. I hear additional weird pops in the knee, but the swelling MIGHT account for that. If that doesn't resolve, I guess an orthopedist visit is in my near future.
What's not in my near future is any exercise of weight bearing type. I was anxious about this. Even voiced it to hubby..okay, and doc, too. hahaha. I don't wanna slow my loss or mess up my fitness level, and trust me, I'd never have believed in all my previous adult years that I'd be worred about NOT BEING ABLE to do my walking exercises or other knee-use ones. It still stuns me that my first thought after the fall--after the, "Please, God, don't let my bones be broken!"--was, "Oh, hell. Will this impede my workouts!!???"
Lifestyle change, right?
Anyway, a quick recap of the Challenge related stuff for yesterday:
Calories: 1350
Fluids: in
Exercise: 30 mins Pilates, no work on the push-ups.
Prayer: Yep.
Blogging: Nope.
Encouragement: Some
Quitting: Not a chance. But, well, rehabbing, mebbe. :D
I hope all the challengers are finding the second week still full of spirit and motivation. Let's keep at it until we make it to the goal line!
Be well. Off I go to use my Frieling French press and make me some yummy java and drink my water....
Friday, June 10, 2011
Day 5 of StSC: Arthritis in my butt? ...Almost off BP Meds... IHOP Simple Fit brekkie.. StS day 4 stats ...&...I have a THUTT Plus This is What happens to thighs when you lose 105 lbs! It ain't cute!
Okay, so no scale today. Rushed (and barely made) my appointment with the doc. She suspects it's arthritis in my coccyx and hips (as well as knees, sure) that is causing the issue. I suspected the hips. I always am stiff after sitting a spell and need to stretch before walking, cause the first 10 minutes always hurt. Stiff, stiff, stiff! Thank God Pilates gives some stretch relief.
I did mention getting old is a beeyotch, right?
On the plus side, BP was low, and she reduced my half-dosage to a half-dosage every other day. She suspects that 5 more pounds and I'll be off the ramipril altogether. Yay!
On the way home from the doc, I was hungry. So, I wanted breakfast and I turned at the first IHOP I saw. I hadn't been to IHOP in..well...a long time. I didn't know they'd revamped the menu. I'd assumed I'd get a salad and some eggs or eggs and tomato or some variation.
Noticed they had a SIMPLE FIT thing going on, with a few choices (not a lot, but a few) that were lower calorie/fat. Fine, I wanted eggs anyway. It just made it easier on me not to have to haggle over what to get instead of toast/potatoes/stuff I don't eat.
I got this one:
The menu said this egg-substitute omelette with spinach, mushrooms, and tomato with a side of fruit was 330 cals. I added swiss cheese for more protein and some calcium. So, mebbe 450 to 500? I don't believe the calorie counts, so I figure a bit more ANYWAY from what they say. Always ADD some. Restaurants don't follow the perfect guidelines of a company's rigorous kitchen (weights, measures, less oil, blah, blah). But under 500 is fine for one meal. I normally eat twice, add maybe a snack if peckish. I had coffee and lots of water and felt quite full.
The omelette was excellent. Tasty and fluffy and a decent serving of veggies and a small serving of fruit (though at home I usually have 3 to 6x the freggies). The fruit was...so-so. The pineapple piece and single grape were icky looking. The cantaloupe was a little past its prime. The honeydew and orange segments was good. Glad it was mostly honeydew.
Okay, so my anniversary (28th) is tomorrow. I had such a nice time at the Aveda spa last week (and my hair still looks GOOD without having done a thing to it since then), that I asked hubby to indulge me. "I want to have another condition and blow-out!" He said fine. He's gonna have his highlights touched up. He's got a pro photo session this coming week, and it would be nice to have his hair look primo for it. He might need those pics for author shots, resumes, conference programs, who knows what else...
So, how did my StS Challenge Thursday/4th day go?
Calories: 1349, and tracked on Sparkpeople
Exercise: 30 minutes-- walking
Fluids: Yes.
Vitamins: Yes
Prayer: yes
Encourage Challengers: Yes, some.
Here was dinner last night, which was actually like BREAKFAST...cause I didn't have eggs that day and wanted me something lightish, but cheesyish and wanted broccoli slaw. Bought some fresh and got a hankering:
In case anyone cared how I carry my goodies while walking, I used to just carry them in my hand (inhaler, tissues, keys) and tuck moolah in my bra. Now I carry a cute leather bag I got a couple weeks ago:
Sorry about the flash. I was in a semi-hurry and rushed. I love having my hands free when I'm ambulating!
Okay, so the bag is cute, but my thighs increasingly less so. I've noticed that with the last 8 pounds or so, my butt is now resting noticeably on my upper thighs. I guess I have, not cankles, but THUTT. I hate how it feels when I walk naked. Ugh.
And the thighs are crinklier and now dimpling mid-thigh. Before, the mid-thigh was pretty good. But in the last few weeks, the crinkling is really noticeable there. I guess I passed a hanging-skin threshold and it got suddenly worse.
I tried to get good shots, but this is the best I could do. Didn't wanna show too much (ie, panties)....cause, really, I balk and hubby balks at THAT. :O
Here we go:
If you are not obese but have been gaining weight, here is my cautionary visual. DO NOT BECOME HUGE. If you do, and you reduce, and exercise like mad, you will still have damage. It's ugly. You don't want it on your body. Do whatever it takes to get a handle on things and eat well, move well, hydrate well, and NOT GET HUGE!
I cannot tell you how awful it is to have your skin NOT FIT. It's like I constantly wear clothes that are baggy and unattractive. I have to hoist the loose stuff into bras and undies and feel best in clothes with some stretch/compression to keep the wobbles at bay.
Please, don't get like I did. Save yourself the droopy flesh blues.
And...that's it. Sorry to end on a downer....but I think the good has to go with the bad to be truthful. The good, being fat and sick for so long made me more compassionate and patient. Getting healthy is making me more disciplined. But there are consequences....and the worst of it I can't show. (No, I ain't showing you my butt and panni, cause, really, I don't wanna disrespect hubby or be THAT exposed on the "it's out there forever" internet.)
I pray your weekend is truly, truly wonderful. I may be scarce. I have an anniversary to celebrate with the sweetest, dearest, handsomest man in the cosmos!
Later...
I did mention getting old is a beeyotch, right?
On the plus side, BP was low, and she reduced my half-dosage to a half-dosage every other day. She suspects that 5 more pounds and I'll be off the ramipril altogether. Yay!
On the way home from the doc, I was hungry. So, I wanted breakfast and I turned at the first IHOP I saw. I hadn't been to IHOP in..well...a long time. I didn't know they'd revamped the menu. I'd assumed I'd get a salad and some eggs or eggs and tomato or some variation.
Noticed they had a SIMPLE FIT thing going on, with a few choices (not a lot, but a few) that were lower calorie/fat. Fine, I wanted eggs anyway. It just made it easier on me not to have to haggle over what to get instead of toast/potatoes/stuff I don't eat.
I got this one:
The menu said this egg-substitute omelette with spinach, mushrooms, and tomato with a side of fruit was 330 cals. I added swiss cheese for more protein and some calcium. So, mebbe 450 to 500? I don't believe the calorie counts, so I figure a bit more ANYWAY from what they say. Always ADD some. Restaurants don't follow the perfect guidelines of a company's rigorous kitchen (weights, measures, less oil, blah, blah). But under 500 is fine for one meal. I normally eat twice, add maybe a snack if peckish. I had coffee and lots of water and felt quite full.
The omelette was excellent. Tasty and fluffy and a decent serving of veggies and a small serving of fruit (though at home I usually have 3 to 6x the freggies). The fruit was...so-so. The pineapple piece and single grape were icky looking. The cantaloupe was a little past its prime. The honeydew and orange segments was good. Glad it was mostly honeydew.
Okay, so my anniversary (28th) is tomorrow. I had such a nice time at the Aveda spa last week (and my hair still looks GOOD without having done a thing to it since then), that I asked hubby to indulge me. "I want to have another condition and blow-out!" He said fine. He's gonna have his highlights touched up. He's got a pro photo session this coming week, and it would be nice to have his hair look primo for it. He might need those pics for author shots, resumes, conference programs, who knows what else...
So, how did my StS Challenge Thursday/4th day go?
Calories: 1349, and tracked on Sparkpeople
Exercise: 30 minutes-- walking
Fluids: Yes.
Vitamins: Yes
Prayer: yes
Encourage Challengers: Yes, some.
Here was dinner last night, which was actually like BREAKFAST...cause I didn't have eggs that day and wanted me something lightish, but cheesyish and wanted broccoli slaw. Bought some fresh and got a hankering:
 |
| Cherries, honeydew in bowl; egg white layer with mushrooms, broccoli slaw, red peppers, lowfat cheese, and lots of Mrs. Dash Onion & Herb |
In case anyone cared how I carry my goodies while walking, I used to just carry them in my hand (inhaler, tissues, keys) and tuck moolah in my bra. Now I carry a cute leather bag I got a couple weeks ago:
 |
| Walking outfit on 6-9-11, with cute bag & hair pulled half-back for coolness. |
Okay, so the bag is cute, but my thighs increasingly less so. I've noticed that with the last 8 pounds or so, my butt is now resting noticeably on my upper thighs. I guess I have, not cankles, but THUTT. I hate how it feels when I walk naked. Ugh.
And the thighs are crinklier and now dimpling mid-thigh. Before, the mid-thigh was pretty good. But in the last few weeks, the crinkling is really noticeable there. I guess I passed a hanging-skin threshold and it got suddenly worse.
I tried to get good shots, but this is the best I could do. Didn't wanna show too much (ie, panties)....cause, really, I balk and hubby balks at THAT. :O
Here we go:
 |
| Draping skin at inner thigh |
 |
| weird dimping on mid thighs |
 |
| Elephant crinkly skin, and yes, I hate seeing that! |
If you are not obese but have been gaining weight, here is my cautionary visual. DO NOT BECOME HUGE. If you do, and you reduce, and exercise like mad, you will still have damage. It's ugly. You don't want it on your body. Do whatever it takes to get a handle on things and eat well, move well, hydrate well, and NOT GET HUGE!
I cannot tell you how awful it is to have your skin NOT FIT. It's like I constantly wear clothes that are baggy and unattractive. I have to hoist the loose stuff into bras and undies and feel best in clothes with some stretch/compression to keep the wobbles at bay.
Please, don't get like I did. Save yourself the droopy flesh blues.
And...that's it. Sorry to end on a downer....but I think the good has to go with the bad to be truthful. The good, being fat and sick for so long made me more compassionate and patient. Getting healthy is making me more disciplined. But there are consequences....and the worst of it I can't show. (No, I ain't showing you my butt and panni, cause, really, I don't wanna disrespect hubby or be THAT exposed on the "it's out there forever" internet.)
I pray your weekend is truly, truly wonderful. I may be scarce. I have an anniversary to celebrate with the sweetest, dearest, handsomest man in the cosmos!
Later...
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Day 3 of StSC: Making up the calories, Vegging Out due to Smoke and Rash, The Weird "is it bone or what?" Thing, New Fila Workout Top, and My Food Plate(s) for Lunch!
Tanita-san: 194.4 (the starch bloat is ebbing)
But I had starch again today after Pilates. I am trying to balance things. One serving a day like the R.D. recommended (and ok if some days none). Later on that. But first...
The Challenge Update for Day 2:
Calories: 850
This was not intentional. I simply was not hungry. Since I had an over 1200 eating day Monday, I figure this balances stuff out some. :) I am actually in deficit, since 1435 - 850 = 2285. Back on track.
Exercise/Push-ups Progress: Nope.
We had smoke issues and hubby insisted I stay inside. I actually kept my workout clothes on until 10pm, but didn't wanna risk setting off my asthma. So, being sore and all from Pilates and push-ups, I figured: "Veg-out day to build muscle!" Today, we move! My goal is to exercise 5 days a week, and I used up one of my rest days.
Prayer: Yep. You got prayed for, people.
Fluids: Yep. Drank what I had to.
Encouragement: I posted on several challenge blogs. And hey, my post was encouraging, yes? :) It sure was LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG.
Okay. So, Day 2 went fine, other than the smoke and my assorted rashes and the healing bug bites. My legs still look weird from those...
What isn't weird is my new Fila exercise top. I love it. It's got enough fabric that I can wear a regular bra. I's comfy. I like the black and white thing going. And the armholes are large enough to not impede Pilates movements. Yeah, baby. I got it for less than 15 bucks. Winner!
Here it is. My Danskin capris make a lumpy banded-waistline line under it, but does anyone really care? ~~
Well, I called my doc for an appt Friday. For a couple months now, I have something bugging me in my butt area, like right up where the coccyx/sacrum bony bits are. Very uncomfortable in some Pilates moves and it bothers me when I lie down on my back in bed. A memory foam topper helped, but I still feel it. I don't know if it's bone, cartilage, a cyst, whatever. It's annoying and I need to have her check it and refer me to someone who can properly diagnose it. I also need to see my endo and get a colonoscopy and a bone density scan and, soon, another mammo and another Pap....yadda yadda.
Growing old is a pain in the butt--literally right now--and means so many tests and what-not. Seeing docs, I'm used to since childhood. I see my primary care one at least every 2 to 3 months and my endo 2 to 3 times a year (2x if no problems, more if issues arise).
I envy y'all who are in perfect health. Thhhpppttt!!!
Anyway, wishing you all a great 3rd day of the Slimmer This Summer Challenge. Stay within calories. Move if it's your exercise day. Drink good, clean water or non-crap fluids. Pray, if you're the praying sort, that we succeed and succeed with amazing numbers!
I pray the blessings of health upon you!
Later...
But I had starch again today after Pilates. I am trying to balance things. One serving a day like the R.D. recommended (and ok if some days none). Later on that. But first...
The Challenge Update for Day 2:
Calories: 850
This was not intentional. I simply was not hungry. Since I had an over 1200 eating day Monday, I figure this balances stuff out some. :) I am actually in deficit, since 1435 - 850 = 2285. Back on track.
Exercise/Push-ups Progress: Nope.
We had smoke issues and hubby insisted I stay inside. I actually kept my workout clothes on until 10pm, but didn't wanna risk setting off my asthma. So, being sore and all from Pilates and push-ups, I figured: "Veg-out day to build muscle!" Today, we move! My goal is to exercise 5 days a week, and I used up one of my rest days.
Prayer: Yep. You got prayed for, people.
Fluids: Yep. Drank what I had to.
Encouragement: I posted on several challenge blogs. And hey, my post was encouraging, yes? :) It sure was LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG.
Okay. So, Day 2 went fine, other than the smoke and my assorted rashes and the healing bug bites. My legs still look weird from those...
What isn't weird is my new Fila exercise top. I love it. It's got enough fabric that I can wear a regular bra. I's comfy. I like the black and white thing going. And the armholes are large enough to not impede Pilates movements. Yeah, baby. I got it for less than 15 bucks. Winner!
Here it is. My Danskin capris make a lumpy banded-waistline line under it, but does anyone really care? ~~
 |
| Fila top in XL! |
 |
| Love my new top & my 10 lb new kettlebell (see on floor, gray/blue thingy) |
 |
| Lunch today from Thai place... before consumption. That's (from left bottom then clockwise) fresh papaya with lime juice, fresh organic strawberries, vitamins in teacup, chilled green tea, water, On plate: avocado sushi, kappa roll, 3 skewers (2 1/4 ounces weighed WITH sticks) of satay chicken.Dunno why I put so much flatware. It was mostly fingers time! |
 |
| After consumption: Too full to eat strawberries, saved for supper. Lefover rice (I pull some out so I consume an eyeballed 1/2 cup) 439 cals, & this makes 10 glasses of fluids for the day...6 more to go. |
Well, I called my doc for an appt Friday. For a couple months now, I have something bugging me in my butt area, like right up where the coccyx/sacrum bony bits are. Very uncomfortable in some Pilates moves and it bothers me when I lie down on my back in bed. A memory foam topper helped, but I still feel it. I don't know if it's bone, cartilage, a cyst, whatever. It's annoying and I need to have her check it and refer me to someone who can properly diagnose it. I also need to see my endo and get a colonoscopy and a bone density scan and, soon, another mammo and another Pap....yadda yadda.
Growing old is a pain in the butt--literally right now--and means so many tests and what-not. Seeing docs, I'm used to since childhood. I see my primary care one at least every 2 to 3 months and my endo 2 to 3 times a year (2x if no problems, more if issues arise).
I envy y'all who are in perfect health. Thhhpppttt!!!
Anyway, wishing you all a great 3rd day of the Slimmer This Summer Challenge. Stay within calories. Move if it's your exercise day. Drink good, clean water or non-crap fluids. Pray, if you're the praying sort, that we succeed and succeed with amazing numbers!
I pray the blessings of health upon you!
Later...
Friday, May 6, 2011
Inch off my waist? Really? But scale on sodium hold at 202 (damn you sauerkraut and kosher hot dog!)...BUT, MAJOR NEWS: I didn't rush to food for comfort on getting bad news, which means I changed, somehow, really changed (right?)......on day 88 of Phase 5
Tanita-san wavered between 201.8 and 202.0, so it's 202.0, as I go by highest number.
But my waist is down one inch since two days ago, when I was also 202.0. :) Body is weird, huh?
I am sore like mad. Really, crazy sore. Hubby kept hearing me groan last night. I exercised a lot in the last two days, and today I designate a "let the dang muscles rest day". I think it's the combo of exercising a lot and eating a salty supper (low fat hot dogs with NO buns, mustard, sauerkraut, and blackberries/cantaloupe fruit salad). I have great hopes for a good weigh-in Sunday as I stay the course.
I will say that something fundamental has shifted within me. Yesterday, I got bad news re a sibling. I was...a bit depressed. I woke up still a bit depressed. Then I wept a bit. Then she and I chatted on the phone, and then I wept a bit more.
My mom died of a bone marrow condition that essentially robbed her of blood. She had to get weekly blood transfusions and the chemo used to try and save her life ended up making her last months agonizingly, horrifically painful due to neurophathy. She ended up unable to walk, use her hands, unable to see, helpless, and in chronic pain. It was....torture.
So, I'm having these flashbacks to that dreadful year --the year I ballooned to 299, gaining more than 30 pounds in 8 months from stress eating, almost becoming diabetic in the process--and I'm feeling anxious and upset and sad, sad, sad.
I keep telling myself this is probably some other anemia, not aplastic anemia. Something correctible with B-12 and iron or better nutrition. I can't bear to think our autoimmune whack genes are at it again..with my big sis.
Anyway, I didn't realize until just 30 minutes ago that, as much as my string of weeks of energetic joy dived into worry and sadness and bad flashbacks and weeping, I did not reach for food. I didn't reach for chocolate and pasta and mashed potatoes and mac n cheese or call for pizza or lasagna or enchiladas or anything.
I had a simple egg and fruit breakfast. I have not snacked. I'm completely fine foodwise, so far.
And the realization astounds me. I am not self-comforting with food. I hope, I hope, I hope, please God, I hope this is a permanent shift and I'm never gonna dive into food to make me feel okay again when things get dark. I really want this change to be fundamental to a New Me reality.
For now, I thank Heaven. I thank God that bad news didn't = bad eating.
It's...a transformation.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you......dear Lord, thank you!
If you're a praying person, could you please pray for healing for my sis. You can call her "I" (her first name's initial). She's 70, and I know that as we age, things hit us, but to spare her (and all of us) the awfulness of what my mom went through, this is my prayer and my wish and my desire and my hope.
Some good, some the same, and some bad--my post is like human life, eh?
Today, I pray good health and good news for you....
But my waist is down one inch since two days ago, when I was also 202.0. :) Body is weird, huh?
I am sore like mad. Really, crazy sore. Hubby kept hearing me groan last night. I exercised a lot in the last two days, and today I designate a "let the dang muscles rest day". I think it's the combo of exercising a lot and eating a salty supper (low fat hot dogs with NO buns, mustard, sauerkraut, and blackberries/cantaloupe fruit salad). I have great hopes for a good weigh-in Sunday as I stay the course.
I will say that something fundamental has shifted within me. Yesterday, I got bad news re a sibling. I was...a bit depressed. I woke up still a bit depressed. Then I wept a bit. Then she and I chatted on the phone, and then I wept a bit more.
My mom died of a bone marrow condition that essentially robbed her of blood. She had to get weekly blood transfusions and the chemo used to try and save her life ended up making her last months agonizingly, horrifically painful due to neurophathy. She ended up unable to walk, use her hands, unable to see, helpless, and in chronic pain. It was....torture.
So, I'm having these flashbacks to that dreadful year --the year I ballooned to 299, gaining more than 30 pounds in 8 months from stress eating, almost becoming diabetic in the process--and I'm feeling anxious and upset and sad, sad, sad.
I keep telling myself this is probably some other anemia, not aplastic anemia. Something correctible with B-12 and iron or better nutrition. I can't bear to think our autoimmune whack genes are at it again..with my big sis.
Anyway, I didn't realize until just 30 minutes ago that, as much as my string of weeks of energetic joy dived into worry and sadness and bad flashbacks and weeping, I did not reach for food. I didn't reach for chocolate and pasta and mashed potatoes and mac n cheese or call for pizza or lasagna or enchiladas or anything.
I had a simple egg and fruit breakfast. I have not snacked. I'm completely fine foodwise, so far.
And the realization astounds me. I am not self-comforting with food. I hope, I hope, I hope, please God, I hope this is a permanent shift and I'm never gonna dive into food to make me feel okay again when things get dark. I really want this change to be fundamental to a New Me reality.
For now, I thank Heaven. I thank God that bad news didn't = bad eating.
It's...a transformation.
Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you......dear Lord, thank you!
If you're a praying person, could you please pray for healing for my sis. You can call her "I" (her first name's initial). She's 70, and I know that as we age, things hit us, but to spare her (and all of us) the awfulness of what my mom went through, this is my prayer and my wish and my desire and my hope.
Some good, some the same, and some bad--my post is like human life, eh?
Today, I pray good health and good news for you....
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Another pound goes adios despite 200 extra calories and pondering whether to walk or not given the Return of the Rash...on day 79 of Phase 5
Tanita-san: 205.0
ONE full pound down from yesterday.
Okay, afater the combo of Easter Sunday sodium-blast and the Tuesday starch experiment, the weight loss momentum seems to be back on. 1.2 labs in the last couple days.
I had just under 1400 calories yesterday (yep, 200 more than usual, 200 more than challenge level). It didn't mess with the scale, thank goodness. I did think I lost when I woke up, as the mirror said my belly was a scosh flatter. The scale just validated what my eyes saw.
Rash is bad. Hubby went and got me a refill of the steroid cream before he headed to work. I had said he didn't have to, but he was worried about the hot pink puffiness and pebblyness of my arms, from shoulders down to index finger. ITCHY!!!!!!!! The driving arm (ie, more sun exposure) is worse. I can't use sunscreens (allergic to all the ones I tried, even the uber-pricey ones). So,well, we'll see. I don't wanna aggravate it right now. I don't wanna stop my walking. Argh.
The general recommendation is to NOT be out in the humidity and heat to avoid sweating. To keep the areas in loose clothing or open to air. I do that already. I am in a/c all day at home. There really is no indoor walking places in Florida (why, when anyone can walk outside). It's frustrating. If I walk, I can complicate it and end up requiring antibiotics. If I don't walk, I feel...less well and slow my weight loss.
Gosh, I hate hot weather!
Anyway, I hate treadmills and I hate conventional gyms, but that seems to be my only option as we head into the hell of summer. I already walk when the sun is just about set (nearly dark) to minimize heat/sun exposure....we'll see.
A solution will be found. :)
Anyone else out there prone to bad heat rashes?
Be well today, folks...
ONE full pound down from yesterday.
Okay, afater the combo of Easter Sunday sodium-blast and the Tuesday starch experiment, the weight loss momentum seems to be back on. 1.2 labs in the last couple days.
I had just under 1400 calories yesterday (yep, 200 more than usual, 200 more than challenge level). It didn't mess with the scale, thank goodness. I did think I lost when I woke up, as the mirror said my belly was a scosh flatter. The scale just validated what my eyes saw.
Rash is bad. Hubby went and got me a refill of the steroid cream before he headed to work. I had said he didn't have to, but he was worried about the hot pink puffiness and pebblyness of my arms, from shoulders down to index finger. ITCHY!!!!!!!! The driving arm (ie, more sun exposure) is worse. I can't use sunscreens (allergic to all the ones I tried, even the uber-pricey ones). So,well, we'll see. I don't wanna aggravate it right now. I don't wanna stop my walking. Argh.
The general recommendation is to NOT be out in the humidity and heat to avoid sweating. To keep the areas in loose clothing or open to air. I do that already. I am in a/c all day at home. There really is no indoor walking places in Florida (why, when anyone can walk outside). It's frustrating. If I walk, I can complicate it and end up requiring antibiotics. If I don't walk, I feel...less well and slow my weight loss.
Gosh, I hate hot weather!
Anyway, I hate treadmills and I hate conventional gyms, but that seems to be my only option as we head into the hell of summer. I already walk when the sun is just about set (nearly dark) to minimize heat/sun exposure....we'll see.
A solution will be found. :)
Anyone else out there prone to bad heat rashes?
Be well today, folks...
Friday, April 15, 2011
Salt setback and New Inflammation...The Distressing Disappearing-Boobs-Becoming-Socks And Hanging-Wrinkled-Laundry-Skin-Side-Effect of Weight Loss (NO Pics, hah)...The Soothing JMT...Detaching Food From Emotions...Lap Band Risks...and it's (maybe) Day 68 of Phase 5, but it's definitely EMANCIPATION DAY! Set yourself free!
Lotsa things today. First is the setback from salt. My lovely progress halted by an insanely salty soup from the Italian cafe. It was dinner last night. I added mushrooms and spinach and some ground beef to the minestrone, cause I did not feel like cooking. Had papaya with it for dessert.
Woke up at 211.8. Ouch.
I don't hit the salt as much as I used to, and I still have moments of backsliding. But, hey, soup was delish. Nice minestrone with very little pasta and a lot of veggies. Calories were fine yesterday. :) Did Pilates for an hour and walked for 30 mins.
The warmer weather and pollens have hit again. My arms, down to my fingers, are a red rash, as is my chest. My throat feels like someone has their hands around there and is choking me. I worry this might be an autoimmune flare-up. When I get that choking feeling, it tends to mean my thyroid is going through an active attack-it phase, which means harder to breathe, harder to bend neck, harder to swallow. I hate my crappy immune system, but just gotta deal until it subsides. I may do a complete exercise rest day and stay out of the sun and see how that goes....
So, the boobies... I was naked last night after a shower and applying prescription steroid cream to my rash (would not sleep otherwise as the burning and itch was insane). I had tilted to the side and bent over and..what the hell is that on my chest? Oh, yeah, my boobs. They are starting to disappear (in terms of fullness) and elongate into tube socks of soft floopy skin. Oh, Joy! Yet another crap effect of having been morbidly obese and losing it. My bountiful, creamy, lovely-to-the-touch bosom pals--I used to enjoy cupping them all the time; yes, I liked the feel of my old boobies--are deflating alarmingly.
What ya gonna do? Get fat again? No way. I'll live with it. Went to hubby, who was already in bed, clapped his hand on one of my deflatees, and asked if it was awful. He said no way and kept grabbing.
Fine. If he doesn't have an issue, I should chill. He's the only one besides me and my docs who needs to see/grab em. If he's fine with the socks, then I can deal better. I'll keep moisturizing to keep them a nice plush and velvety brand of tube sockies. And I'll keep buying good bras.
The inner thighs are also distressing. And upper arms. They are even crinklier this week, methinks. Like shirts that were bunched up and not ironed. Ah, well. More lotion. I'll work on developing Crinkle Blindness: the inability to see the icky crinkles in deflated formerly really fat areas of the body.
Oh, a John Michael Talbot oldie just came on the radio (Christian station). I feel better. It's soothing...oooooh.....yes....I needed to hear this. Perspective. Destressing. Loooooveee...
For the Mighty God has done great things for me,
and His mercy will reach from age to age,
and holy, holy, holy is His Name.
All better now.
If you're a Christian and need relaxing music, and if you haven't discovered JMT (who has been around for a long time, both in secular music and then Christian), then here...go explore. I find him blissfully relaxing, and he's great for alone worship and meditation.
Next:
I visited a blog where the dieter has lost A LOT of weight and has worked to de-attach her eating from her emotions. I've seen others who've succeeded at weight loss do this. It doesn't mean that food doesn't taste good or give the eater pleasure. Eating IS pleasurable. It means food is fuel and we eat it to nourish ourselves, and we don't make food our partner, our comfort, our security blanket, our refuge, our reward, our stress management mechanism.
Every time you say, "I deserve to eat this cause I had a hard day", you are continuing to entrench eating as a reward or a comfort. For overeaters/the overweight/the obese, this is not a good strategy. When you give your kids food as a reward--"eat your broccoli and I'll reward you with a cookie"-- you may be setting them up to comfort and reward themselves with food in the future. Broccoli is nutritious food and fuel. Cookies are toxic food and fuel. If you're gonna tie emotions to something, tie it to broccoli or strawberries or spinach, for pete's sake. :) But better to just look at food as something that is nice to eat, but is mostly to make your body work to let you LIVE LIFE.
Food is to help you live your life. Food is not itself life.
The blog is called SUGARLESS DIET and on April 4, she wrote:
She's dropped more than 100 pounds and her latest post has before/after pics. Inspiring. Congrats, Floriana.
Her eating plan is one I'm moving more and more towards. It's the one that seems to best 1. control cravings and 2. lessen appetite and 3. work well for my medical issues. It makes sense to me (especially for I.R./diabetic folks) and it clearly worked for her.
Next:
I researched bariatric surgery a few years ago (mostly 2008, 2009) when I was feeling hopeless about losing weight. I was losing very little, regaining a bit, losing a bit, maintaining a lot. I hung around in the 270s and hung and hung... Lap band appealed to me more than gastric bypass. But the more I researched, the more disheartened I got at the possible complications, regain, etc. I figured if I was going to regain anyway or have some terrible complication, I might as well keep giving diet/exercise/mental change a shot.
I'm glad I didn't have lap band. I'm glad I came to believe I could do it. I want to keep doing it. I want to reach goal weight. It may have taken me a long time and it may take me longer, but this latest article I saw in Google News made me really glad I skipped the lap band. (As did having a friend of mine who had lap band some years ago convert to a gastric sleeve, cause she was having issues with the band and regaining a lot.)
Finally:
Happy Emancipation Day!
Freedom is never absolute, I suppose, but freedom is a great thing. To be able to choose your life partner. To be able to choose your career. To be able to choose your hobbies, where you live, what you eat.
Within Freedom comes duty and responsibility and ethics and morality (which puts limits on freedom for the greater good and one's own benefit). It's wonderful to live in a nation where we can make decisions about our life's course so widely. I was not born indentured or enslaved. I married the man of my free choice, not someone else's selection. I chose to study what I wanted in college, not what someone forced me to. I get to sleep at the hour I choose to and eat the dinner I want to make. This is amazing.
As an eater, I often misused that freedom. I made and bought and ate meals that damaged my body, which in turn limited my body's freedom to move. Impaired mobility from fat sucks. OMG, it is so much better, even still obese, to be able to get into all sorts of flexible positions--in Pilates, in bed, on the couch (sitting Indian style is a breeze these days), in the shower, in the car.
Too many liberties in one area--meaning not enough responsibility, duty, morality, discretion, moderation--takes liberty away from another area. You pay for imbalances.
Today, celebrate freedom. But do so by freely choosing to put limits on your freedom to eat any damn thing you want. Choose to eat the things that lead to MORE freedome (freedom to travel, freedom to try all those poses in the Happy Acrobatic Sex Manual, freedom to kayak or jog or fit in restaurant booths). Put limits on eating in order to have greater freedom in all other parts of life. Better freedom.
Choosing eat too much or too much crap enslaves you. It really does.
The unfortunates who lived lives of grave injustices and horrible misery under slavery in this great land of ours (to our national historical shame) did not have a choice. They ate what they were given, were bred like animals to whomever the master chose, slept where the master decided (or didn't sleep as the master decided) and were provided with rags or clothes or chains or anything at someone else's decree. It's awful. Slavery is awful. And I thank God we got rid of that blight on our land.
But slavery can be self-imposed, too. We limit our creativity, ability, potential in all sorts of ways. And with us obese folks, food becomes a master and fat a shackle.
Choose EMANCIPATION FROM FAT today. Give yourself a proclamation decreeing yourself SET FREE and begin to live that way...free to choose to eat healthfully and in proper portions.
And be well...
Woke up at 211.8. Ouch.
I don't hit the salt as much as I used to, and I still have moments of backsliding. But, hey, soup was delish. Nice minestrone with very little pasta and a lot of veggies. Calories were fine yesterday. :) Did Pilates for an hour and walked for 30 mins.
The warmer weather and pollens have hit again. My arms, down to my fingers, are a red rash, as is my chest. My throat feels like someone has their hands around there and is choking me. I worry this might be an autoimmune flare-up. When I get that choking feeling, it tends to mean my thyroid is going through an active attack-it phase, which means harder to breathe, harder to bend neck, harder to swallow. I hate my crappy immune system, but just gotta deal until it subsides. I may do a complete exercise rest day and stay out of the sun and see how that goes....
So, the boobies... I was naked last night after a shower and applying prescription steroid cream to my rash (would not sleep otherwise as the burning and itch was insane). I had tilted to the side and bent over and..what the hell is that on my chest? Oh, yeah, my boobs. They are starting to disappear (in terms of fullness) and elongate into tube socks of soft floopy skin. Oh, Joy! Yet another crap effect of having been morbidly obese and losing it. My bountiful, creamy, lovely-to-the-touch bosom pals--I used to enjoy cupping them all the time; yes, I liked the feel of my old boobies--are deflating alarmingly.
What ya gonna do? Get fat again? No way. I'll live with it. Went to hubby, who was already in bed, clapped his hand on one of my deflatees, and asked if it was awful. He said no way and kept grabbing.
Fine. If he doesn't have an issue, I should chill. He's the only one besides me and my docs who needs to see/grab em. If he's fine with the socks, then I can deal better. I'll keep moisturizing to keep them a nice plush and velvety brand of tube sockies. And I'll keep buying good bras.
The inner thighs are also distressing. And upper arms. They are even crinklier this week, methinks. Like shirts that were bunched up and not ironed. Ah, well. More lotion. I'll work on developing Crinkle Blindness: the inability to see the icky crinkles in deflated formerly really fat areas of the body.
Oh, a John Michael Talbot oldie just came on the radio (Christian station). I feel better. It's soothing...oooooh.....yes....I needed to hear this. Perspective. Destressing. Loooooveee...
For the Mighty God has done great things for me,
and His mercy will reach from age to age,
and holy, holy, holy is His Name.
All better now.
If you're a Christian and need relaxing music, and if you haven't discovered JMT (who has been around for a long time, both in secular music and then Christian), then here...go explore. I find him blissfully relaxing, and he's great for alone worship and meditation.
Next:
I visited a blog where the dieter has lost A LOT of weight and has worked to de-attach her eating from her emotions. I've seen others who've succeeded at weight loss do this. It doesn't mean that food doesn't taste good or give the eater pleasure. Eating IS pleasurable. It means food is fuel and we eat it to nourish ourselves, and we don't make food our partner, our comfort, our security blanket, our refuge, our reward, our stress management mechanism.
Every time you say, "I deserve to eat this cause I had a hard day", you are continuing to entrench eating as a reward or a comfort. For overeaters/the overweight/the obese, this is not a good strategy. When you give your kids food as a reward--"eat your broccoli and I'll reward you with a cookie"-- you may be setting them up to comfort and reward themselves with food in the future. Broccoli is nutritious food and fuel. Cookies are toxic food and fuel. If you're gonna tie emotions to something, tie it to broccoli or strawberries or spinach, for pete's sake. :) But better to just look at food as something that is nice to eat, but is mostly to make your body work to let you LIVE LIFE.
Food is to help you live your life. Food is not itself life.
The blog is called SUGARLESS DIET and on April 4, she wrote:
That's my no fun eating plan. Realistically, eating like I will be eating is boring. Simple, clean, processed as little as possible, with little variety. Boring. But you see, I have decided a long time ago, back when I was starting that for me eating can not be entertainment or consolation or reward or fun or anything that ties in emotions. If I want any of that I'll have to get it from other sources, like reading, travel, socializing or other non food related experiences. Food is fuel - no more, no less. I truly believe in that last sentence and it's only since I have stopped eating sugar that I have been able to come to the state of mind that accepts that concept.
She's dropped more than 100 pounds and her latest post has before/after pics. Inspiring. Congrats, Floriana.
Her eating plan is one I'm moving more and more towards. It's the one that seems to best 1. control cravings and 2. lessen appetite and 3. work well for my medical issues. It makes sense to me (especially for I.R./diabetic folks) and it clearly worked for her.
Next:
I researched bariatric surgery a few years ago (mostly 2008, 2009) when I was feeling hopeless about losing weight. I was losing very little, regaining a bit, losing a bit, maintaining a lot. I hung around in the 270s and hung and hung... Lap band appealed to me more than gastric bypass. But the more I researched, the more disheartened I got at the possible complications, regain, etc. I figured if I was going to regain anyway or have some terrible complication, I might as well keep giving diet/exercise/mental change a shot.
I'm glad I didn't have lap band. I'm glad I came to believe I could do it. I want to keep doing it. I want to reach goal weight. It may have taken me a long time and it may take me longer, but this latest article I saw in Google News made me really glad I skipped the lap band. (As did having a friend of mine who had lap band some years ago convert to a gastric sleeve, cause she was having issues with the band and regaining a lot.)
Finally:
Happy Emancipation Day!
Freedom is never absolute, I suppose, but freedom is a great thing. To be able to choose your life partner. To be able to choose your career. To be able to choose your hobbies, where you live, what you eat.
Within Freedom comes duty and responsibility and ethics and morality (which puts limits on freedom for the greater good and one's own benefit). It's wonderful to live in a nation where we can make decisions about our life's course so widely. I was not born indentured or enslaved. I married the man of my free choice, not someone else's selection. I chose to study what I wanted in college, not what someone forced me to. I get to sleep at the hour I choose to and eat the dinner I want to make. This is amazing.
As an eater, I often misused that freedom. I made and bought and ate meals that damaged my body, which in turn limited my body's freedom to move. Impaired mobility from fat sucks. OMG, it is so much better, even still obese, to be able to get into all sorts of flexible positions--in Pilates, in bed, on the couch (sitting Indian style is a breeze these days), in the shower, in the car.
Too many liberties in one area--meaning not enough responsibility, duty, morality, discretion, moderation--takes liberty away from another area. You pay for imbalances.
Today, celebrate freedom. But do so by freely choosing to put limits on your freedom to eat any damn thing you want. Choose to eat the things that lead to MORE freedome (freedom to travel, freedom to try all those poses in the Happy Acrobatic Sex Manual, freedom to kayak or jog or fit in restaurant booths). Put limits on eating in order to have greater freedom in all other parts of life. Better freedom.
Choosing eat too much or too much crap enslaves you. It really does.
The unfortunates who lived lives of grave injustices and horrible misery under slavery in this great land of ours (to our national historical shame) did not have a choice. They ate what they were given, were bred like animals to whomever the master chose, slept where the master decided (or didn't sleep as the master decided) and were provided with rags or clothes or chains or anything at someone else's decree. It's awful. Slavery is awful. And I thank God we got rid of that blight on our land.
But slavery can be self-imposed, too. We limit our creativity, ability, potential in all sorts of ways. And with us obese folks, food becomes a master and fat a shackle.
Choose EMANCIPATION FROM FAT today. Give yourself a proclamation decreeing yourself SET FREE and begin to live that way...free to choose to eat healthfully and in proper portions.
And be well...
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