First Day (as Julie said), Clean Slate. Sore and Psyched! It's my choice. I choose to do it! WE CAN DO THIS!

Okay, so as the previous post explained, I'd been something of a mess with my eating off-plan.

Sunday: 184.8
Monday: 184.0
Today: 183.4

My saving grace yesterday after the truffle disaster was that I did 1 1/2 hours of exercise--strengthening, stretching, and walking.

Today, I'm nicely sore--especially inner thighs, back, upper abs, side.  This makes me happy. :D

Good timing for Gillian Riley's newsletter. It was in my inbox when I checked my mail. She has a new book, DITCHING DIETS, but it might simply be a recap of stuff she has in her other books, such as EATING LESS. If anyone knows whether this has new information and is worth Kindle-ing, let me know. (NOTE: I am adding this as I noticed it's a new version of BEATING OVEREATING, the book by Gillian with the orange cover. You may already have it. It may have new info, not sure, but the first 6 chapters have the same titles, so the basic info is surely identical to the "orange" book.)

For those who haven't visited her site or who want to get her newsletter, go here.

And for those who don't know what a meal plan that's calorie controlled might look like, here's an example of a 7-day plan, gluten free, at 1400 calories.

I want to make something clear. My 183 lbs now is not my 183 lbs a year ago, when I was working out. This is 183 lbs after 6 months of inactivity. Fat has replaced some muscle. My body LOOKS different naked. I'm lumpier in the waist and hips and my legs aren't as well-shaped with walking and Pilates muscle as they were a year ago at the same weight. I can feel and see the difference in my mirror. And yes, I do a "Nekkid Check" every day.

Here are pics in form-fitting wear I took an hour ago. The increased torso/belly girth and hip lump are evident:

These are my accountability photos. Sometimes, you just gotta LOOK and SEE. Like it or not.

I am well-stocked with goodies. Collards. Romaine. Strawberries. Blueberries. Kiwi. Yams. Lemons and Limes. Papayas. Broccoli. Nectarines. Cucumbers. Watermelon. Honeydew. Peppers. Apples. Decaf Green tea. Coffee. New refill filters for the water pitcher that I got back when I needed to drink gallons for Allan's challenges. I've slacked on water intake, ya know?

I have chicken breast defrosted for supper.

I do need to visit the store for some of my pastured eggs, organic egg whites, turkey, mushrooms, shredded low fat cheese for my breakfast eggs and salads, Greek yogurt, baby spinach, potatoes, tomatoes, celery, and carrots. Maybe some rainbow chard and baby bok choy, both of which I really like lightly sauteed.

With that, I'll be well-stocked against temptations. It's best to have the house overflowing with GOOD options, to cut back on the lure of bad ones.

My hope is that  Sunday's weigh-in will make me smile. Anything lower on the scale and higher in motivation is welcome, right?

Right. I can do this. I really can.

WE CAN DO THIS.

WE REALLY CAN!!!

OK, let's kill it today. We believe. We move. We choose properly. WE CHOOSE. Remember that

Every bite and every sip and every step--we choose it. We decide it's what we'll do or not do, eat or not eat. WE CHOOSE.

Be well...

Where Can I Get This Extract, Please? ; ) And an Epiphany Shawl Pic Plus a Cautionary-Tale Hanging-Skin Pic for those Only Overweight or Normal Weight So you DO NOT GET OBESE! You don't want this flappy stuff on your body!

An article you might wanna take a look at if you are obese, if you sometimes fall off the wagon, if you have insulin resistance/visceral fat issues. Here ya go:

Twenty Weeks of Gluttony Without Gaining.

Hops water and Rhein. I want to try those, just to see. Not that I believe in magic bullets. Not after trying a couple things Dr. Oz recommended--following it to the letter--with squat results. I don't trust his supplement-for-weight-loss-or-X anymore. I think he needs so much material to fit a popular show that he will tout anything that isn't malicious, frankly, at this point.

Okay, we had our family gift-exchange yesterday, in old Cuban tradition. I got this pretty shawl from my grandniece/grandnephew:

It went great with the Nine West dress I chose to wear. It was a warm day, so I swapped out my original outfit for this one, cooler and sleeveless. I wore this dress at at tea party in January of 2012, so you can see I'm pretty much the same size. :D

Now, going sleeveless is a bit of a trial for those of us who have lost a lot of weight. 100+ pounds will definitely leave skin-consequences. My face is droopier, now that the stretched out cheeks aren't filled out with fat. My jawline. My thighs. My belly and butt. My back. All have droopy, hanging skin. Even when I was seeing a trainer 2 and 3 times a week and had gotten strong and gotten muscle, I had hanging skin. It looked better naked with muscle than it does now with much less muscle after 6 months of inactivity (yeah, I got really slothful/lazy), but still. It will hang.

If you are normal weight and starting to gain. If you are just overweight and rising up towards obesity: Google up "droopy" or "hanging" skin on the internet and look at how it appears on folks once they drop pounds. It is NOT pretty.

I mostly don't wear shapewear. I wear good (pricey) bras: Wacoal and Chantelle and Elomi and Anita. I have 38DDD boobs--once 46G-- and hanging side skin, so a good bra is worth the investment.

But I rarely wear shapewear for my droopy belly/butt/thighs. I do sometimes wear boy shorts or bicycle type panties/underwear to help with thigh hang in the inner thigh, but mostly, I do without. When I had more muscle, I did fine. You could see the panniculus demarcation in some clothes/fabrics, but that's just one of those things that reminds you of the damage done. Motivates you to keep at it. It's one of the main reasons I wanna get back to training, get my muscle. I looked so much better nekkid with lots of muscle in belly and thighs and butt and back and legs.

Some damage stays done sans surgery.

Here are two shots of my upper arm hanging skin. In the first one, taken yesterday, my arm was in motion, so this was "flap blowback" as I call it. I had lifted and swung my arm, so you see where my "normal" arm is, which is nicely, normally shaped. Then you see that flap of skin underneath. In the second one, I have my arms out to the side, so you see the hang when my arms are horizontal. I had hams for arms when I was huge-huge, and this skin is a legacy of that. Not very attractive, huh?

Princess' Skinflappiness

No compression shapewear. Just panties and a Wacoal bra here.

This is why my fave sleeve is 3/4. This is why fabric with some compression is welcome. This what you will face if you let yourself get obese, morbidly obese, superobese--and then slim down some or a lot. You will have loose skin.

Genetic variance will be in play. Some folks hang more, and some are more elastic and bounce back better. But in general, huge losses = excess, loose, hanging skin leftover.

You don't want it.

Here are before arm pics, one at 278 pounds and one about 10 pounds less:

Pilates outfit when I first started at 278 lbs

I was already building muscle here, 2 years of exercising, but the fat shrouds it.

Do what it takes to healthfully stop weight GAIN or to stay normal weight. Lose it when you only have 20 or 30 or 40 to lose. If you end up like me, with 150 extra pounds, you will regret it. Your body will suffer in various ways, and this will be one of them. You'll wear a loose skin-suit and when you shift in bed, it will be a weird sensation when your loose skin droops down. It always feels like you need to go back to the store and get skin that fits.

It's not a lovely thing. Prevent it. Tackle your food issues before your food issues permanently damage you.

And be well...

Perspective on the asthma/allergy (or why I need to NOT whine)...Better Breathing, Better Journaling, Crap Scale....but it will move. I keep the faith...Baggy "goal shorts" pic and naked mirror time motivation (no pic--ever!)..and how much hubby can eat (but I can't)...plus joy comes in the morning (afternoon, evening) with a Charlie Brown Praise Break...

Yesterday ended up better than it began. By my evening walk, I could up the pace. Breathing was nearly normal but nasal congestion, while improved, remained.

Make me wonder if the Pilates session did the respiratory good.

I will note that, so far, this summer has been MILES better than a couple decades worth of summers. I didn't need to cancel a whole month of exercise sessions. I didn't need nasal cauterization. I didn't rely on Nasonex (which I quit taking after the March onslaught, and usually start up again before August, to ready myself). I'm much less affected. I just got used to feeling GREAT on the non-crazy-allergy months, so I expect to feel and breathe great. The impediment this month, while frustrating, is nothing compared to summers past. Even the trainer commented on my improvement over the past 3 summers she's worked with me. Well, it's true. :)

I need to keep perspective. I am a whole, whole lot better. I am not dripping gobs of snot or needing to see an ENT or longing for Prednisone to put me out of my misery. :)

It's amazing to me after having years of being a "respiratory cripple", as I tagged it in the early 90s, when walking to the bathroom was enough to wind me, when I became often housebound, when I would have 6+ bronchitis episodes a year.

This is so much better. I guess I wanted to skip the bad altogether. To get a reprieve.

And I did. This is a reprieve. I will be thankful and not whine. :)

Today, to keep the motivation up, I spent some time in front of the mirror stark naked. And you know, I didn't mind it so much. I knelt on the bed and looked in the dresser mirror and thought, "Wow, if I hadn't gotten morbidly obese and had still done Pilates, my body would be amazing..." and then I thought, "But for an old dame who did wreck her body for 2+ decades, it's not bad. I kinda like that woman there."

My body would terrify a Hollywood starlet and it probably would disgust the shallow types who only see beauty in the perfect smooth slenderness of magazines...but me, I looked and thought, 'Yeah. I want to keep this. I don't wanna go back."

Hanging skin and droopy boobies and rippled butt and all, I had a woman's curves and some muscle and lean cool looking legs. This is my motivation today. To keep this and to do even better...to not lose what the hard war has won me.

I stayed in my challenge calorie counts yesterday. I exercised 75 minutes altogether. I drank all my fluids. I stayed away from starches. And while the scale didn't move down, I feel like I'm starting to get a grip again from the slippery slope. (fingers crossed) Onward...I don't lose heart or faith.

And to commemorate the re-commitment to MY own transformation today, a pic of me fitting into an old pair of "goal shorts". White shorts. With a white tank. I haven't worn white in..in..I can't remember. Fat people tend to avoid light colors. Well, this fat woman did. But here I am, all in white. These shorts are XL. I bought them back when I was 4x. They didn't go over my hips then. They do now--with room to spare:

My plate again has room to spare, too. Back to reining things in and not letting portion creep get me.

I wish I could eat like hubby and be on the verge of underweight like he is. Sigh. Men. So lucky. Can eat more than we do! Here's the "lunch and snacks" I packed last night for hubby --not including the breakfast I pre-made for him to nuke or the apple and banana he takes in his work-bag for his extra fruit snacks or the Larabar and nuts he keeps at his desk for emergency hunger:

Hubby's lunch for today...with snack..in his
EASY LUNCHBOX set, cooler not shown.

Today's lunch part 1: grilled chicken breast with 1/2 cup Mexican rice and a spinach mozzarella salad  
Lunch part 2: sirloin burger with cheddar, asparagus, mashed potatoes (real butter and cream)
Snack: Beanitos with salsa, cottage cheese with strawberries and cantaloupe, dark chocolate square.
Not showing: nuts, apple, banana, Larabar

Yes. That's his "lunch bag" contents. And he's on the border of underweight. (He lost 60 or so pounds altogether, half this year when he did the Primal experiment. Experiment cancelled. He dropped so much weight, I had to put starches back in the diet in the form of rice and potatoes, with the occasional legume (peas, those Beanitos now and then). He was turning into pure bones. Starch is fattening, so there you go. Eat the starches, keep from losing too much.

So, for you men who want to drop fat like mad, go Paleo/Primal. Hubby literally had to eat ALL DAY, snack ALL DAY, eat multi-meals to just keep weight on...and still got bony.

Grrrrr. This is so unfair. I want to eat all day long, too! hahahahahah

And for those, like me, who won't be reaching certain goals by Slimmer This Summer Challenge's end, don't ever give up and repeat this quote I got from Anne today:

“When it is obvious that the goals cannot be reached, 

don't adjust the goals, adjust the action steps.”

Anyway, be good to yourself with healthy foods and movement and be very, very happy today! It's your day for JOY!

And for believers out there having a hard time, going through the dark night of temptations and sorrow,  this one's for YOU!

AMEN!

For Food Freak: Yeah, they're staying put (hair), plus wearing gray at 184.4 lbs(pics)

Food Freak: I had the hair done Saturday, and this is how it looked tonight. So, hanging in there, though my curl pattern is imposing itself bit by bit.. I do add leave-in condish to the ends (twice since Saturday) to keep hair moisturized. But all I do is brush it out. (I had to remember to add a brush to my purse, cause with curls, you only use your fingers to adjust.) :D

Very comfy "The Girls" slacks in XL

Day 5 of StSC: Arthritis in my butt? ...Almost off BP Meds... IHOP Simple Fit brekkie.. StS day 4 stats ...&...I have a THUTT Plus This is What happens to thighs when you lose 105 lbs! It ain't cute!

Okay, so no scale today. Rushed (and barely made) my appointment with the doc. She suspects it's arthritis in my coccyx and hips (as well as knees, sure) that is causing the issue. I suspected the hips. I always am stiff after sitting a spell and need to stretch before walking, cause the first 10 minutes always hurt. Stiff, stiff, stiff! Thank God Pilates gives some stretch relief.

I did mention getting old is a beeyotch, right?

On the plus side, BP was low, and she reduced my half-dosage to a half-dosage every other day. She suspects that 5 more pounds and I'll be off the ramipril altogether. Yay!

On the way home from the doc, I was hungry. So, I wanted breakfast and I turned at the first IHOP I saw. I hadn't been to IHOP in..well...a long time. I didn't know they'd revamped the menu. I'd assumed I'd get a salad and some eggs or eggs and tomato or some variation.

Noticed they had a SIMPLE FIT thing going on, with a few choices (not a lot, but a few) that were lower calorie/fat. Fine, I wanted eggs anyway.  It just made it easier on me not to have to haggle over what to get instead of toast/potatoes/stuff I don't eat.

I got this one:

The menu said this egg-substitute omelette with spinach, mushrooms, and tomato with a side of fruit was 330 cals. I added swiss cheese for more protein and some calcium. So, mebbe 450 to 500? I don't believe the calorie counts, so I figure a bit more ANYWAY from what they say. Always ADD some. Restaurants don't follow the perfect guidelines of a company's rigorous kitchen (weights, measures, less oil, blah, blah). But under 500 is fine for one meal. I normally eat twice, add maybe a snack if peckish. I had coffee and lots of water and felt quite full.

The omelette was excellent. Tasty and fluffy and a decent serving of veggies and a small serving of fruit  (though at home I usually have 3 to 6x the freggies). The fruit was...so-so. The pineapple piece and single grape were icky looking. The cantaloupe was a little past its prime. The honeydew and orange segments was good. Glad it was mostly honeydew.

Okay, so my anniversary (28th) is tomorrow. I had such a nice time at the Aveda spa last week (and my hair still looks GOOD without having done a thing to it since then), that I asked hubby to indulge me. "I want to have another condition and blow-out!" He said fine. He's gonna have his highlights touched up. He's got a pro photo session this coming week, and it would be nice to have his hair look primo for it. He might need those pics for author shots, resumes, conference programs, who knows what else...

So, how did my StS Challenge Thursday/4th day  go?

Calories: 1349, and tracked on Sparkpeople
Exercise: 30 minutes-- walking
Fluids: Yes.
Vitamins: Yes
Prayer: yes
Encourage Challengers: Yes, some.

Here was dinner last night, which was actually like BREAKFAST...cause I didn't have eggs that day and wanted me something lightish, but cheesyish and wanted broccoli slaw. Bought some fresh and got a hankering:

Cherries, honeydew in bowl; egg white layer with mushrooms,
broccoli slaw, red peppers, lowfat cheese, and lots of Mrs. Dash Onion & Herb

In case anyone cared how I carry my goodies while walking, I used to just carry them in my hand (inhaler, tissues, keys) and tuck moolah in my bra. Now I carry a cute leather bag I got a couple weeks ago:

Walking outfit on 6-9-11, with cute bag
& hair pulled half-back for coolness.

Sorry about the flash. I was in a semi-hurry and rushed. I love having my hands free when I'm ambulating!

Okay, so the bag is cute, but my thighs increasingly less so. I've noticed that with the last 8 pounds or so, my butt is now resting noticeably on my upper thighs. I guess I have, not cankles, but THUTT. I hate how it feels when I walk naked. Ugh.

And the thighs are crinklier and now dimpling mid-thigh. Before, the mid-thigh was pretty good. But in the last few weeks, the crinkling is really noticeable there. I guess I passed a hanging-skin threshold and it got suddenly worse.

I tried to get good shots, but this is the best I could do. Didn't wanna show too much (ie, panties)....cause, really, I balk and hubby balks at THAT. :O

Here we go:

Draping skin at inner thigh

weird dimping on mid thighs

Elephant crinkly skin, and yes, I hate seeing that!

If you are not obese but have been gaining weight, here is my cautionary visual. DO NOT BECOME HUGE. If you do, and you reduce, and exercise like mad, you will still have damage. It's ugly. You don't want it on your body. Do whatever it takes to get a handle on things and eat well, move well, hydrate well, and NOT GET HUGE!

I cannot tell you how awful it is to have your skin NOT FIT. It's like I constantly wear clothes that are baggy and unattractive. I have to hoist the loose stuff into bras and undies and feel best in clothes with some stretch/compression to keep the wobbles at bay.

Please, don't get like I did. Save yourself the droopy flesh blues.

And...that's it. Sorry to end on a downer....but I think the good has to go with the bad to be truthful. The good, being fat and sick for so long made me more compassionate and patient. Getting healthy is making me more disciplined. But there are consequences....and the worst of it I can't show. (No, I ain't showing you my butt and panni, cause, really, I don't wanna disrespect hubby or be THAT exposed on the "it's out there forever" internet.)

I pray your weekend is truly, truly wonderful. I may be scarce. I have an anniversary to celebrate with the sweetest, dearest, handsomest man in the cosmos!

Later...

First Bathing Suit Pic Since Childhood...First Time Outside in a Bathing Suit in Decades...

I definitely need to order a tankini top online. Even the DD's were just not right. But, I found a swimdress on sale (way reduced), so though the "girls" are straining the fabric, it's still kinda cute and retro. I wanted to take pics to send to Swimming It Off blog (she had requested pics by Sunday, but I didn't buy one until today). It may be too late, but I sent the pics and the rest is in her pool-water moist hands. ; )

Here iz I: Size 16, navy with turquoise piping swimdress, and an old pair of floral backless sandals for the beach vibe. And hey, my fitness ball can be a "beach ball" substitute:

The Wind and The Ball!

Straining across the bust area...but comfy for an only C cup...

Laughing at something hubby said...

Oh, I gots a halo! Must have behaved...Ball is abandoned

Ball is back...and somewhere under that loose upper arm skin is a nicely shaped arm..sigh...

Profile...skirt part disguises the panni some...

Anyone else finally got a swimsuit after years of hiding?

Anyone brave enough to POST them? ; )

Happy Tuesday, folks!

Am Still Melting with Fasting Workouts, Walnut Butter with Cinnamon rocks, some Paleo Friendly Fast Food....on day 81 of Phase 5

Tanita-san: 203.4

Yep. Dat's right! Even with two days of some extra calories, even with eating roast pork, steak, shredded beef, guacamole, and yesterday, some sour cream with that shredded beef. And gluten free cookies. Today, no cookies, no beef. But it was great to have a change and make sure I get a kick of dietary iron and carnitine.

I also had walnut butter with my apple snack. I mixed in some true cinnamon (thanks, Anne H, for the tip to it) and a sprinkle of splenda to get a paste that made the apple with it combined taste like apple-walnut torte. So nice. If you haven't ever tried any nut butter other than peanut, try walnut,almond and macadamia. Better for ya than peanut.

(Note on cookies: I hadn't had a treat in a while and got these from Netrition thinking, eh, they will likely suck. Wrong. They were amazing. Had three with my coconut milk for dessert last night. They are named Island Lime, but I call em Island Coconut. I don't taste any lime. Which is fine. I love coconut flavor.) They're not Paleo. They are pricey (so incentive to not eat them often or a lot). For the occasional about 120 calorie low-carb treat, works. Lotsa fiber is a plus.

Honestly, I thought weigh-in would suck given the sodium blast in the guacamole and beef (it was from CHIPOTLE, so you know, fast food salt!). And for those doing Primal/Paleo/Primarian--one of those salads from CHIPOTLE with the greens, salsa, guacamole, fajita veggies, and protein (chicken, beef, or pok) is plan-friendly. Just skip the wraps, beans, rice, corn. If you're Primarian, you can have some of the shredded cheese as an option. I got two salad bowls. One with beef and one with chicken. Had one for lunch and one for dinner. No cooking day!

But I can see my body changing when I examine it naked. I can see the fruit of my core-work starting to show as the belly fat burns-burns-burns away. I look "normal" to my eyes when I spy myself in a shop window reflection. I don't see the Fat Princess (though I'm still obese). I see...kinda normal woman looking back.

I'm psyched!

But....

I haven't been able to do my walks in the last couple days (rash is healing and must reduce sweating and exposure to heat/sun/humidity), so I made sure to go fasting into my Pilates session yesterday. She had to put refrigerated wet towels on me periodically during the workout, but we got through it and I did fine. Flexibility has increased with less fat in the way. Strength is going up. I feel good!

But I miss walking. I miss it bad. This is a mindset change. I used to--for years!--have the hardest time motivating myself to do any exercise, and especially anything remotely cardio. Now, I want my walk. Damn rash!

For those who gave suggestions, thank you! (And for the compliments, cheers, encouragement.) I think mall walking seems the most Princess-Friendly, as long as I can reverse my sleep schedule to the morning walking time pre-shoppers. I hate dodging shoppers and dealing with horrible parking traffic at the local mall. It's a popular one.

So close to Onederland. Here I cometh!

Well, please remember the tornado victims today in prayer and donations. Let's take care of our own... and let's pray that storms will be calm this summer in all regions. I know in Miami, hurricanes are a big fear of mine. In other area, tornadoes. In others, fires. In others, mudslides. And so on....let's pray for benevolent weather....

Have fun this weekend. Go listen to festival music. Go to a park--and, heh, we have a retro hippie festival near us this weekend, but hubby has to work on book. I might yank him away for an hour or two and take a parasol.

Be well...

Salt setback and New Inflammation...The Distressing Disappearing-Boobs-Becoming-Socks And Hanging-Wrinkled-Laundry-Skin-Side-Effect of Weight Loss (NO Pics, hah)...The Soothing JMT...Detaching Food From Emotions...Lap Band Risks...and it's (maybe) Day 68 of Phase 5, but it's definitely EMANCIPATION DAY! Set yourself free!

Lotsa things today. First is the setback from salt. My lovely progress halted by an insanely salty soup from the Italian cafe. It was dinner last night. I added mushrooms and spinach and some ground beef to the minestrone, cause I did not feel like cooking. Had papaya with it for dessert.

Woke up at 211.8. Ouch.

I don't hit the salt as much as I used to, and I still have moments of backsliding. But, hey, soup was delish. Nice minestrone with very little pasta and a lot of veggies. Calories were fine yesterday. :) Did Pilates for an hour and walked for 30 mins.

The warmer weather and pollens have hit again. My arms, down to my fingers, are a red rash, as is my chest. My throat feels like someone has their hands around there and is choking me. I worry this might be an autoimmune flare-up. When I get that choking feeling, it tends to mean my thyroid is going through an active attack-it phase, which means harder to breathe, harder to bend neck, harder to swallow. I hate my crappy immune system, but just gotta deal until it subsides. I may do a complete exercise rest day and stay out of the sun and see how that goes....

So, the boobies...  I was naked last night after a shower and applying prescription steroid cream to my rash (would not sleep otherwise as the burning and itch was insane). I had tilted to the side and bent over and..what the hell is that on my chest? Oh, yeah, my boobs. They are starting to disappear (in terms of fullness) and elongate into tube socks of soft floopy skin. Oh, Joy! Yet another crap effect of having been morbidly obese and losing it. My bountiful, creamy, lovely-to-the-touch bosom pals--I used to enjoy cupping them all the time; yes, I liked the feel of my old boobies--are deflating alarmingly.

What ya gonna do? Get fat again? No way. I'll live with it. Went to hubby, who was already in bed, clapped his hand on one of my deflatees, and asked if it was awful. He said no way and kept grabbing.

Fine. If he doesn't have an issue, I should chill. He's the only one besides me and my docs who needs to see/grab em. If he's fine with the socks, then I can deal better. I'll keep moisturizing to keep them a nice plush and velvety brand of tube sockies. And I'll keep buying good bras.

The inner thighs are also distressing. And upper arms. They are even crinklier this week, methinks. Like shirts that were bunched up and not ironed. Ah, well. More lotion. I'll work on developing Crinkle Blindness: the inability to see the icky crinkles in deflated formerly really fat areas of the body.

Oh, a John Michael Talbot oldie just came on the radio (Christian station). I feel better. It's soothing...oooooh.....yes....I needed to hear this. Perspective. Destressing. Loooooveee...

For the Mighty God has done great things for me,
and His mercy will reach from age to age,
and holy, holy, holy is His Name.


All better now.

If you're a Christian and need relaxing music, and if you haven't discovered JMT (who has been around for a long time, both in secular music and then Christian), then here...go explore. I find him blissfully relaxing, and he's great for alone worship and meditation.

Next:
I visited a blog where the dieter has lost A LOT of weight and has worked to de-attach her eating from her emotions. I've seen others who've succeeded at weight loss do this. It doesn't mean that food doesn't taste good or give the eater pleasure. Eating IS pleasurable. It means food is fuel and we eat it to nourish ourselves, and we don't make food our partner, our comfort, our security blanket, our refuge, our reward, our stress management mechanism.

Every time you say, "I deserve to eat this cause I had a hard day", you are continuing to entrench eating as a reward or a comfort. For overeaters/the overweight/the obese, this is not a good strategy. When you give your kids food as a reward--"eat your broccoli and I'll reward you with a cookie"-- you may be setting them up to comfort and reward themselves with food in the future. Broccoli is nutritious food and fuel. Cookies are toxic food and fuel. If you're gonna tie emotions to something, tie it to broccoli or strawberries or spinach, for pete's sake. :) But better to just look at food as something that is nice to eat, but is mostly to make your body work to let you LIVE LIFE.

Food is to help you live your life. Food is not itself life.

The blog is called SUGARLESS DIET and on April 4, she wrote:

That's my no fun eating plan. Realistically, eating like I will be eating is boring. Simple, clean, processed as little as possible, with little variety. Boring. But you see, I have decided a long time ago, back when I was starting that for me eating can not be entertainment or consolation or reward or fun or anything that ties in emotions. If I want any of that I'll have to get it from other sources, like reading, travel, socializing or other non food related experiences. Food is fuel - no more, no less. I truly believe in that last sentence and it's only since I have stopped eating sugar that I have been able to come to the state of mind that accepts that concept.

She's dropped more than 100 pounds and her latest post has before/after pics. Inspiring. Congrats, Floriana.

Her eating plan is one I'm moving more and more towards. It's the one that seems to best 1. control cravings and 2. lessen appetite and 3. work well for my medical issues. It makes sense to me (especially for I.R./diabetic folks) and it clearly worked for her.

Next:
I researched bariatric surgery a few years ago (mostly 2008, 2009) when I was feeling hopeless about losing weight. I was losing very little, regaining a bit, losing a bit, maintaining a lot. I hung around in the 270s and hung and hung...  Lap band appealed to me more than gastric bypass. But the more I researched, the more disheartened I got at the possible complications, regain, etc. I figured if I was going to regain anyway or have some terrible complication, I might as well keep giving diet/exercise/mental change a shot.

I'm glad I didn't have lap band. I'm glad I came to believe I could do it. I want to keep doing it. I want to reach goal weight. It may have taken me a long time and it may take me longer, but this latest article I saw in Google News made me really glad I skipped the lap band. (As did having a friend of mine who had lap band some years ago convert to a gastric sleeve, cause she was having issues with the band and regaining a lot.)

Finally:


Happy Emancipation Day!

Freedom is never absolute, I suppose, but freedom is a great thing. To be able to choose your life partner. To be able to choose your career. To be able to choose your hobbies, where you live, what you eat.

Within Freedom comes duty and responsibility and ethics and morality (which puts limits on freedom for the greater good and one's own benefit). It's wonderful to live in a nation where we can make decisions about our life's course so widely. I was not born indentured or enslaved. I married the man of my free choice, not someone else's selection. I chose to study what I wanted in college, not what someone forced me to. I get to sleep at the hour I choose to and eat the dinner I want to make. This is amazing.

As an eater, I often misused that freedom. I made and bought and ate meals that damaged my body, which in turn limited my body's freedom to move. Impaired mobility from fat sucks. OMG, it is so much better, even still obese, to be able to get into all sorts of flexible positions--in Pilates, in bed, on the couch (sitting Indian style is a breeze these days), in the shower, in the car.

Too many liberties in one area--meaning not enough responsibility, duty, morality, discretion, moderation--takes liberty away from another area. You pay for imbalances.

Today, celebrate freedom. But do so by freely choosing to put limits on your freedom to eat any damn thing you want. Choose to eat the things that lead to MORE freedome (freedom to travel, freedom to try all those poses in the Happy Acrobatic Sex Manual, freedom to kayak or jog or fit in restaurant booths).  Put limits on eating  in order to have greater freedom in all other parts of life. Better freedom.

Choosing eat too much or too much crap enslaves you. It really does.

The unfortunates who lived lives of grave injustices and horrible misery under slavery in this great land of ours (to our national historical shame) did not have a choice. They ate what they were given, were bred like animals to whomever the  master chose, slept where the master decided (or didn't sleep as the master decided) and were provided with rags or clothes or chains or anything at someone else's decree. It's awful. Slavery is awful. And I thank God we got rid of that blight on our land.

But slavery can be self-imposed, too. We limit our creativity, ability, potential in all sorts of ways. And with us obese folks, food becomes a master and fat a shackle.

Choose EMANCIPATION FROM FAT today. Give yourself a proclamation decreeing yourself SET FREE and begin to live that way...free to choose to eat healthfully and in proper portions.

And be well...

Day 46 of Phase 5: The Body Doing Its Puzzling Diet Thing, But waist 1/2 inch down...and Pilates Progress Pics AKA What 217 Pounds Looks Like On Me...lotsa pics...

I gave time for the Hatsume/Feta Cheese bloat to resolve, have eaten very nicely since Monday (ie, no crazy salt, between 1100 and 1300), been exercising daily, sometimes twice in a day....and Tanita-san slaps me with  gain? 217.2? Huh?  I got out the tape measure: waist is down .5 inch.

I repeat: Huh?

Okay, it's just one of those things my body does sometimes. Confusing, but occasional and you just keep keeping on. That's all you can do. Stay the course, drink the fluids, eat at calorie level, move, sleep/rest, and not get vexed, cause what does that help? Nada. Stress adds nothing. So, no stress.

Decided it was time to update the Pilates Progress pics for my own documentation purposes and to remind me of two things VISUALLY: How far I've come, and how much I still have left to go. I'm more than halfway to my destination, but that's still a loooooooooooooong way to go, and it's the harder side of the journey (ie, even at 1200 calories, I lose slower than I did eating 1200 when I had 20, 30, 50, 70, 80 more pounds). The lighter you get, the less the chasm between calories in and calories needed. So....that's how it is.

I have made great progress. I need to make MORE progress. We keep keeping on, to use an old phrase.

So, the pics will eventually be fully uploaded to the PHAT PILATES page that can be accessed by the tab up there, under the blog title. It takes a long time to upload a bunch of pics and I get lazy/bored, so a bit at a time will do.

Here are some:

You can go ahead and compare with the older pics. (The silly ninja socks are required now at the studio for hygienic reasons, which is great, though they look dorky. And what's with all the white threads on me during this session? ha.) My middle is still the main repository of the big, ole fatload. But it's gonna go. Has to. Eventually, the belly will cry "uncle". :) (Well, I'll always be belly-poochy-heavier-appley, since even at age 15 and 135 lbs, I had the poochy tummy and these skinny arms and legs. I am a spider, I guess. :P

Have a good one, people! Fight the fat, no matter where it wants to reside on your bod!

A Few Pics from Feb and March--Sugar Free, Low Cal "Birthday Cake", Fort Lauderdale Beach, Yesterday at Starbucks.. AKA PROGRESS: What 218 Pounds Looks Like On Me!

I like to upload pics to this blog to document my progress. The previous progress post (with pics) is HERE. It has links to earlier phases of my body's transformation.


As my regular readers may recall, I had a health-oriented birthday party and no traditional birthday cake. My middle sis did bring a sugar-free angel food cake with sugar free whipped topping and fresh strawberries, so we'd have something for the candle and kids. :)

I did not miss cake, cookies or crap. At all. Food was nourishing, tasty, and low cal. Lots of veggies and fruit. AND.... I had good weight loss that week, too. :)

Here's a birthday shot with "cake" where I'm 222 lbs:

Princess Dieter's Sugar-Free Birthday Cake Alternative

Feb 28 on the Fort Lauderdale Beach strip made famous by WHERE THE BOYS ARE in 1960. Elbo room is nearby. Lovely day. We went to the museum exhibit of Vatican Splendors and then ate beachside (on plan). Walked a bunch, too. I wore sneakers, natch. Any opportunity to move, and this means I wear sneakers a lot more than what was my usual going-out footwear (comfy sandals). I'm becoming sneakers addicted.

Me , my sneaks, & a wood sculpture of a Native American on Ft. Lauderdale strip.

Yesterday at Starbucks. I reserved some calories for a treat--half and half in my cinnamon iced coffee. Empty calories, but it satisfies enough that I don't feel deprived and don't have crap. Not a daily thing, but I love it. And I like looking smaller, though the big belly is still vexing. Hope to see that baby gone by year's end! (Well, I will likely need a tummy tuck, cause my pannus is horrid, but that I'd put off and save for.)

Mmm...Coffee...Fewer Unhealthful Lbs, More Natural Curls!

That above is me at roughly 218 lbs. Compare to this in 2008 at about 278:

A bit after starting Pilates...Huge! But Game! And Hopeful!

Guess at which weight I'm happier and more energetic? Even if OLDER? :)

I want to spend health-filled years with this sweetiepie o' mine:

The Princess and her Prince, Ft Lauderdale Beach

So, yeah, progress. Onward to goal!

(Oh, and if you haven't read the regular post for the day, see it below. I don't much double-post these days, but, hey, felt like it. Later, gotta go walk....)

Day 3 of P5: Using Regret as a Spur (or Carrot, take your pick) so I have a better tomorrow, if not the ideal that could have been; and deciding I need to stop commenting today for all our sakes!

Scale is steady. Happens after a whoosh, so I'm fine. :)

Got a lot to do today, so not feeling much like blogging, but I did visit a few blogs to comment. Decided I better stop, as I was starting to be, well, a bit tactless, perhaps. :-/

It's not that I feel mean or anything, or that I'm PMS (no more of that here); but I notice I was just being too blunt, a bit less gentle, and for comments, this is not necessarily a good thing.

So, forgive me if I offended y'all; nothing wicked was meant by it. One situation did anger me, and I got all defensive.

Sometimes, I do feel "defensive" for other challengers; sometimes, I feel really worried for folks living in their obese rationalizations/delusions. We all were (or still are sometimes) there to some degree. It doesn't help. We need to leave some crap behind if we're to get healthy and stay healthy. It's a helluva hard journey. Blinders off, but not compassion, yes?

Okay, eating's been great. Appetite's been fine, nice and mellow. Muscle-building going on. Water getting downed.

I watched one of my fave J-Rock vids today. Again. For like the 20th time since I first saw it a couple months or so ago. I love the inclusion of capoeira "dancers-fighters" in contrast to the slick-cute J-band members.  Ranbu no Melody (Savage Melody or Wild Melody in translation).

I look at those amazingly toned, exquisitely lean, beautifully agile and flexible male bodies and think: I fricken wasted my damn "body life". I did want to do dance lessons as a kid, but we were pretty darn poor and who had money for such things? Living in the "ghetto" and mom working extra to pay for Catholic school and medical expenses for a sickly kid, who had moolah for ballet?

I wish I could travel back. I'd want to do something really tough on the body. Get strong and "cut" and lean back when my joints hadn't been damaged by years of morbid obesity. Back when my pancreas wasn't driven to exhaustion. When my adrenals and connective tissue hadn't been shocked by decades of corticosteroids. Maybe it would have changed things significantly? Dunno.

I use that regret to spur me on today. It made me put on my workout clothes and get my new sneaks (nice pair of Asics that arrived yesterday) and go out and do what I can NOW.

I want to get to a more normal weight and, if money allows (and maybe I'll have to budget like mad or cut back on Pilates to make it happen), I'd like hubby and I to take up something we can do together that's consistent and ACTIVE. We've talked about aikido and kendo. We've talked about taiko (those drum classes are tough, with calisthenics and stretching before hand, and hours of near non-stop drumming. I know. We've tried them. Was sore for a week and could barely use my arms and fingers.)

Since we both are into Japanese culture, it seems like something like kendo or aikido will be most likely. The other possibility--which hubby has done in the past--is Gracie style JiuJitsu. It may be too tough for us oldies with our issues.

But I want to see possibilities. I cannot recapture my youth. I cannot get back an undamaged body. BUT...I can do WHAT I CAN DO.

Every day. Do a bit more. Try harder. Work more courageously to get a body that isn't a bearer of regrets for what I did not do when I could have.

I already have made progress. I can walk faster when I'm out and about. I can carry oodles of groceries. I can get into more flexible positions in whoopsie. I have more energy. I can do my toenails without problems. I can park far in a parking lot without dread. In fact, I'll do that on purpose to get more activity in. I do not fear stairs like I used to. My knees still hate them, but less weight and more muscle means I can actually climb them. :)

Progress is motivational. Progress removes bits of the regrets embedded in my flesh...

So, today, don't do anything you will regret. Don't overeat. Don't "not" exercise. Don't lack faith in your ability to transform. Don't rationalize that "extra helping" or crap food item. It's not worth it. Eat the healthful food in modest portions and drink your water/fluids. Move. Rest. Believe...

That's what I will focus on today. WHAT I CAN DO to allow me to do what I WANT TO DO!

The fat's gotta go....

Here's the video I mentioned, and the translation in English of the lyris can be found HERE:

Day 14 of Phase 4 Challenge: Where I can FINALLY FRICKEN Report a Loss to A, and the same top last May versus Yesterday, and..um...hmmm...plans for my 51st Birthday, Foodwise....

Oh...groan..sleepy.

I set the alarm so I could meet the challenge deadline for the weigh-in. And, while the last two weeks I had to send "235" (rounded down, then up), I hovered in the 234.2 to 234.6 range pretty much since the challenge started. TWELVE days of non-movement despite meeting caloric goals weekly and doing my exercises and drinking my water.

Friday, I started the plan my registered dietitian gave me. In 2 days, down to 232.6, roughly two pounds. So, I'm happy I can report a lower number at last to the Fearless Challenge Leader.

Hubby said he'd walk with me again today, so I'm happy. :D  Plumber to come again today, cause apparently some dark star has fallen on our laundry room. I have NOT been able to do laundry for a week cause of it, hence the dorkyish outfit I used for walking yesterday instead of my sleeker, all black, nice n snug Danskin wear. It is to be hope that today, yes, today, I can have clean workout clothes and can do my preferred sheets and towels instead of the second stringers.

Well, it ended up being useful. Not just cause I sometimes really have crappy taste in clothes (I sometimes just grab what looks comfy and longer than belly-length and go with it), but cause I wore a shirt I haven't worn in months and months and can compare some:

May 2010 267 lbs

Jan 15 2011 233 lbs

Jan 2011 233 lbs

This top is pretty stretchy. Back last May, it fit snugly in the tummy/hips and I had more bosom, clearly, stretching it out.  In the bottom pic, you can see the shirt has "folds" showing it's not snug anymore. My thighs have made a lot of loss progress, and I wish my belly would make BETTER progress. It was hard to walk last May. Reducing the bulk even 34 pounds makes walking so much easier! Hair's longer and face is thinner, too. I take lousy pics...but I hope you can tell there is improvement. And the FEELING of improvement is radical (I cannot tell you how much more comfy I am in my body. I can cross my legs!!!! I missed that.) Now, I sit cross-legged on the couch with ease, and back then, it was tough.

I was thinking today I need to start seriously considering what I wanna do for my 51st birthday in a month. I already told my family I want NO CAKE, NO JUNK, NO FATTENING STUFF. I got the: "What? No Cake?"  Me: "That's right. I don't want a cake. Or cookies. Or cupcakes. Or marzipan. Or pastelitos." (Man, I love me guava pastelitos, but I have them maybe once or twice a year max. All my family's gals have a marzipan weakness. It's the Spanish blood....)  I said I wanted veggie stuff, fruit/fruit salads, and lighter fare.

My eldest sis makes a really good shredded chicken creole style that we put over yellow rice (a sort of low-cal deconstruction of a Cuban party fave: Arroz Imperial , ie, imperial rice) No mayo, no cheese, and she makes the shredded white meat in a lighter tomatoey sauce with green olives. I love the stuff. That doesn't damage the diet like so many other traditional offerings. I asked if she'd make that. I can easily sidetrack or minimize the rice (as sis puts it on the side, not UNDER, the chicken).

I want to figure out some activity thing we can do (ie, burn calories).

I also have to figure out Vanlentine's Day. That's a big eat-out day for me and the hubster.

Well, that's yet to come. Today is just another day to eat well, move well, treat myself well, and KILL THIS FRICKEN FAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DIE, DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh, sorry. Back to a Calm and Poised Princess. :) About to have a healthy breakfast.

Take care, peops!

Day 22 Spawn of DDDY Challenge: Another downtick and Feeling bones! The pleasure of sensual, though unhealthy, fat...some good links...and Enjoying new Athletic Shoes...Oh, and Stay warm, ye snowbound!

Tanita-san: 234.6

I had a really nice surprise, as you can see, with today's hop on the scale. That's 1.4 down from Sunday. Not expected at all, but quite cheering.

Yesterday's calories fell just over 1400. 55 minutes of Pilates. That must have helped.

Apple Shape by Carb Tripper

When I woke up, I ran my hands up and down my torso as I usually do to assess bloat. I don't like to weigh if I feel bloaty. Since I had some chicken teriyaki--not much about 2 to 2.5 ounces--and the soy sauce is my bloat enemy, I was checking. Instead of feeling bloat, I felt bones down there--pelvic bones--and up here--a rib. Strange to feel anything other than cushy fat. Those of you who've been morbidly obese know what I mean, right? And those of you who are apples like me know that best of all. The layers and layers of abdominal fat obscure all the bony bits in there. Make for great bedfellows.

(Yes, it's true: Fat feels good. Really good, way better than bones, so heck, I used to feel up my fat torso just to enjoy the cushiness of all that adiposity! I totally get why harems were populated with lush women. If I were some caliph, I'd want me some fat love bunnies, too! I remember when hubby had 35 extra pounds. Man, his back and sides were so superyummy! cushy! Now, he looks hot, but you can feel the bonesies in bed. Too bad there's not a way to look really sleek and hot and FEEL really soft and cushy. hahahaha)

I remember when I first started Pilates in 2008 weighing in the 270s. In the first sessions, you are learning imprinting and there's an exercise where you put your thumbs on your lower ribs and your pinkies on your hip bones. I could not feel bones. I just could not find my hipbones. Or pelvic bones. It was a bit embarrassing. Now, I surely can find them. :D

I haven't done any meal planning for today. I wish I had gotten extra "fresh Vietnamese veggie rolls" cause I still want some. Yum. Maybe I'll get some tomorrow when I'm running errands.

I have another set of salad fixings in the fridge, and that was so yummy yesterday, I'll just replicate it. Lots of coffee and tea to keep the chill away. Whoa, you guys up north must be bone-shaking down to your marrow. Those blizzard pics make my teeth chatter. Stay warm!

Hope my niece and the kiddies can get home in a timely matter. They went to NYC and hoped for snow, and I suppose this is a case of getting MORE than one bargained for. At least the kids are having a great time with the white stuff--snowmen, snowballs, jumping around. :)

Speaking of having fun jumping around, I love my new athletic shoes. Because I overpronate and have wide feet (less wide than before, but still), I got a new pair of Brooks (these are great for problem feet and wide feet and overpronators) and a pair of Asics. I've been really enjoying the extra boost of energy I get with new, springy sneakers! I bought them a few weeks ago in preparation for the exercise portion of the Challenge. I thought I'd have to drop out beforehand when it went to 1200 calories, but Allan noted on his blog that we could try it and then drop out if we weren't suited. So, I figured, why not give it a shot at least. One should try, even if skeered a bit. :) I guess I don't have as much faith in my ability as I would wish, but I'm willing to give it a solid shot. Hence, the sneaks. Hence, eating some days in the lower calorie range.

Ann is also getting ready for the exercise challenge. Are you?

Oh, and if you haven't dropped by, visit Carb Tripper for a Learning Day full of great doodles and useful links for those interested in obesity (for personal or other reasons). (Her doodles are da best!)

And if you're ready to QUIT OVEREATING and start a diet/weight-loss regimen, then do read this article. It's more about how to prepare to do it and the right environment/mindset/planning than a New Year's resolution, but it's a really good one and if you've been off plan or just starting a journey to normal weight, you should read it.

Anyway...

Let's make this cold week one that burns off tons of calories. Shiver away, people! Fire up the metabolism!

Be well today and DO NOT OVEREAT. Okay?

Ciao!

Power Foods on WW Points Plus AND The 242 Pound Pics compared to the 252 Pound Pics...at the Pilates Studio

So, I got my WW Points Plus kit today, and I'm scanning the Food Companion (FC from now on) book to see what's up.

The new FC has a little green triangle next to "Power Foods"--those satisfying, nutritious foods that WW encourages one to choose to consume. Examples, choosing random FC pages:

Antelope meat
Apples, fresh.
Beans (whole lotta them)
Bean curd skin (ugh)
Breadfruit
Buckwheat
Buffalo
Cheese--fat free
Chicken-white meat
Chickory
Corn
Egg White
Egg Whole, boiled
Edamame
Emu
Fennel
Fiddlefern
Fish (lotsa them, but not lox, salmon, sardines, canned in oil tuna, mackerel, etc)
Gobo (burdock)
Grapes
Hearts of Palm
Honeydew Melon
Jicama
Kimchee
Latte, fat free
Lentils, cooked
Liver beef, cooked (not chicken or turkey liver)
Loganberries
Malanga (mmm, love it boiled and mashed with EVOO)
Moose
Okra, but not breaded or fried
Pasta, whole wheat
Potatoes
Rice, brown and wild, not white
Salsa
Shellfish
Soursop (mmmm, love it in smoothies)
Taro
Tofu
Veal Loin, trimmed
Venison
Yam, cooked, not canned in syrup
Yogurt, fat free
Yucca--having some boiled yucca today. Great with garlic/EVOO or "mojo"
Zucchini

In the Dining Out Companion (DOC), here are some power foods at popular eateries:

Au Bon Pain:
oatmeal
toppings: ham, roasted red peppers, turkey breast
fruit cup

Burger King:
fresh apple fries (yep, that's it)

Chick-Fil-A:
fruit cup

Chipotle:
black beans
steak
pinto beans
fajita vegetables
corn salsa
tomato salsa
red tomatillo salsa
romaine lettuce

Church's Chicken:
collard greens
corn on the cob
whole jalapenos

McDonalds:
apple dippers
side salad
nonfat latte--iced or hot
nonfat cappucino

Taco Bell:
nothing (seriously? Hah!)

Other eateries also had ZIP power foods listed. Hm.

So, have some power foods today, yes? :)

On to the body shots. I'm wearing a smaller size, but looser clothes (ie, cheaper fabric that isn't as "containing" and my bra in the second shot is looser, less supportive, so more droop. Sigh.) See if you can tell there's been a 10 pound difference even so:

I see it mostly in the front-facing pics. I see it in my mirror, too---in the hips. You can tell the bump on the high part is much smaller. I have a smoother, more curved rather than BUMPY look there. The side pics, you see where I've lost upper back fat and the upper abdomen, that's where it's most noticeable. The stomach is stubborn to go, but I note a lessenign there, too. The belly's gonna have to surrender. I will win eventually! Little by little!

Next pics at 232-ish.

Day 11 Son of DDDY Challenge: Weight Loss goals met so far since September, plans calorically for 2011, comparisons with older sis aka The Body, and accepting limitations on one's future food life...

653 days and 85 pounds to go...

Looking Toward 2011

Eleven weeks ago, I began this new blog--link to OLD blog here--to set concrete weight loss goals instead of fuzzy ones. To set a timetable. To have a goal date for goal weight. To be more accountable. My goal was to lose 1 lbs (and maybe a "scosh") per week. I began at 258 lbs.

I'm 13 pounds down to 245,  so I have met that weekly goal that I set and have 2 lbs of "scosh". :) I'm on the timetable.

I know there is much yet to do, but I have learned that lots of fluids has made a huge difference. Before, I always was extremely lax with fluids other than cofffee or tea. Getting in water was, well, rarely done. I had days when the only water I drank was what I needed to get medicines and vitamins down.

Now, I've learned that I need a whole lot more than I ever imagined. Eating a lot less food, including a lot less carby starches (where so much of my fiber intake came from during my more organic produce/beans/whole grain-heavy intake dieting period) meant poops were less ideal. Water helps. It moves stuff along. So does magnesium supplementation (which I need anyway, as I never get enough in my diet). So does fiber supplementation on days I don't have my Ezekiel bread or beans or good amounts of fibrous produce.

I like the caloric level at which I am now, the so-called "goal weight maintenance" level, as it allows me craving treats and dinner out without too much grief. I do see that I should start ratcheting down. The limit now of 1760 is great (not too restrictive, not too lax), but if I want to keep losing at goal or better, a slow decline of maybe 50 to 100 calories every few weeks may be in order. I want to see if I can be satisfied at 1500 calories (satisfied to MY way of thinking and eating, not anyone else's, satisfaction being subjective). I have talked with my middle sis, who had an insane body most of her life, and who at 62 , even with a few extra pounds and not being a gym rat, rocks a helluva butt/boob/leg combo. Men still look. (She was scouted by Playboy in the early 70's, so imagine what her bod looked like back then!)

I was always jealous of her figure. She got Papa's side, I got Mama's. Papa's is slimmer-hipped and bubble-butted with perky-boobs. Mama's is flattish butt, wide hips, poochy bellied and droopy boobied. Lucky me, right? We both got the broader shoulders from Mama's side and the nice hands/feet. (Yeah, I had gorgeous hands and feet until I porked up and they porked up with me.)

She's always been active and a careful eater, so her figure pretty much has always been amazing. Now, in older age, I asked her how many calories it takes to maintain. She is no longer at her ideal weight of about 130 (though she'd gone down to the 120's in her prime), but age, a chronic auto-immune illness, and occasional depressions  have added on about 20 lbs. She says she maintains her 150 lbs at abou 1600 calories unless she exercises, then she can eat more. She loves to walk and ride bike, always has, used to play handball back in our Bronx days. At 62, she bikes when the weather allows, which is often in Miami. So, I figure, using her as a reference point, that I would maintain 160 at about 1500-1600, since I have the thyroid issue and am less acitive generally.

So, my goal for the coming year is to learn to eat at 1500-1600 in a way that satisfies and becomes habitual. A way that doesn't require constant measuring, but understands, "this much on the plate of X and Y and Z = what I can eat in one meal."

I don't kid myself that this is a "until I'm goal weight" temporary thing. This is training, boot-camp of sorts, for how I gotta eat until my dying day. It doesn't make me jump for joy, such limitations, but growing up means facing facts. That's how the cookie crumbles (just not necessarily in my mouth).

Food log:

BREAKFAST: I went to bed in the am and slept til the pm, so asked hubby to get me veggie Thai stuff for my meals so I didn't have to make em.

Vietnamese rolls (only vegetables, steamed rice paper)
Thai Chicken soup (didn't eat most of the chicken, about 1oz, mostly broth and a few mushrooms)
3 pieces avocado sushi with pickled ginger and wasabi and bit of soy sauce.
1 WS vanilla protein shake (made with 8 oz water)
3 cups decaf and 6 glasses water (4 before, 1 during, and 1 after eating)
supplements

calories:  560
fluids: 80 oz (not counting soup)

LUNCH:
Homemade veggie and egg fried rice (took brown rice from Thai place, added most of my side of steamed veggies--cabbage, broccoli, zucchini, carrot, snowpea pods-- added two fresh eggs to scramble up with rice. Used 1 tbsp toasted sesame oil and 1.33 tbsp lite soy sauce.
3 cups decaf
6 glasses water (4 before, two after)

calories: 612
fluids: 72 oz

calories so far: 1172
fluids so far:  152

DINNER:
1 small whole wheat pita
WS vegetarian joe
1 slice Kraft 2% cheddar single
4 glasses water

SNACK:
made a high protein pina colada with 1/4 cup organic coconut milk &
1 BariWise pina colada fruit protein drink (8 oz water)
2 glasses water

SNACK: (couldn't sleep until almost 7 am due to breathing issues, got hungry around 2 am, had another snack)
1 organic apple
1 slice lowfat cheddar
1 cup decaf, 2 glasses water
1/2 serving ChocoRite sugar free almonds


Total Calories for day: 1716
Total Fluids: 232 oz