Scale Pic and Forming Goals for 2013, and some advice for the Big Gals (and Guys) out There New To Blogging for Weight Loss

Here is what I saw on Tanita-San today after I woke up, peed, and stumbled to the back room where I keep the scale:

Christmas red on toes, lower number on scale.

I hopped on the scale a few times, which I always do to confirm the number. You can see the same number came up twice: 181.4 .

It was 183.2 yesterday (see previous post), so the excess fluid from my holiday salty foods frenzy is...flowing out.

This puts me at a total loss of 118 pounds. Not my lowest number. Still out of the obese range, yay. 

I don't like being in the 180s again. Not at all. My plan last year when I decided to move into MAINTENANCE had been to maintain in the 170s. Anywhere in the 170s, but preferably in the middle to lower ranges, sure. Just THAT weight "decade."

 So, immediate goal is to get back into the 170s. Healthfully. With good nutrition. No crash diets. I don't care if it's slow. I don't want to end up with micronutrient deficiencies which impact a lot of my health issues.

Ultimate goal for this season (ie period from January to end of March) is to rebuild muscle, get back walking habit (at least 3x a week) and get to 171. That's 10 pounds.

I will add that losing 10 pounds is not easy for me. It's easier when one is big-big, though even for big me, losing 1 to 2 pounds a week required quite a lot of discipline. I was the laggard in Allan's challenges (though I stuck out the ones I joined to the end). So, 3.3 pounds a month --or roughly under 1 pound a week--is going to mean I have to focus a lot on my calories. Watching, adding, monitoring, curtailing. And burning some off. Though I find consumption matters more than exertion. What I eat affects the scale the most.

Exercise, though, affects how I feel and how my clothes fit. I see more muffin top with my abdominal and back muscle depleted. I hate that. But keeping muscle takes work, just as building it takes work. It doesn't happen by wishing.

The sad truth about weight for those of us who were formerly obese/morbidly obese/severely morbidly obese/super-obese is that weight comes back at alarming speed and goes down with reluctance.

Granted, some folks hold tons of water and those first weeks on a diet make for a beautifully satisfying whoosh of 7 or 10 or more pounds. Not me. I am not that level of water-hoarder. But that's mostly fluid, and the business of burning fat is always harder. And the closer to goal weights we get, that much harder. Sometimes, maddeningly hard.

I'm here to tell you maintenance is tough. I've seen a host of blogging pals drop out of sight when they couldn't keep the weight off. I don't wanna do that. I want to say, here I am, with some regain, aiming to stop it and get back in maintenance range.

A bit of advice from someone with a near-lifelong weight struggle who used blogging and online aids to finally make progress (and I hit 303 lbs on my doc's scale in 2004, for reference):

If you're  big or very big and starting on your weight loss journey this year, please be accountable on your blog. BE ACCOUNTABLE. It's the main reason I began THIS blog, stopped the old one, and focused on goals and numbers and photos and self-examination and challenges. 

Accountability means you put it out there and try to figure out how to solve the problems. It's hard. It's often embarrassing . 

(See my Phat Pilates pics--click on tab link under the blog header-- if you want to see EMBARRASSING! It was really hard for me to post those when I was huge-huge and clumsy and sweaty in tight clothes and messed up hair.)

Don't use the blog just to wax eloquently or awkwardly about your ordinary life stuff. That won't cut it. That won't help you. 

Make specific goals. DAILY GOALS. WEEKLY GOALS. MONTHLY GOALS. SEASONAL GOALS. ANNUAL GOALS.  Let the community know if you met goals or failed to meet them. Examine why you can't make a breakthrough. Read. Study. Introspect. Ask folks to kick you in the butt when you grow lax. Support others as a way to support yourself, too. Sometimes, reading others doing the same things you are --good or bad--has a wonderfully motivating effect.

But weigh and plug those numbers in. Put them out there. Defuse them and make them just measures. MEASURES of lack of or wonderful progress. Don't expect 4 pounds a week (unless you're male and huge or female and huge and really active). Just make reasonable, attainable goals and, if you do not quit, if you persist, you will see progress.

One pound a week is 52 pounds a year In two years, that's 104 pounds.
One-half pound a week is 26 pounds a year, 52 pounds in two years.
Two pounds a week is 104  pounds in one year, 208 in two.

Consistency is the key. You can lose 26, regain 30. You can lose 80, regain 50. You can lose 200, regain 200.

What you want, and what I want, is to lose and keep it off.

The odds of success are slight. Google it. Very few keep off large amounts of lost weight.

So, focusing on the quickie crash diet that gets off 10 pounds in 2 weeks will leave you nowhere if you gain it back, and odds are you WILL regain it.

You have to learn what you like and what is nutritious and what contains your large appetite or urges to snack unhealthfully. You have to figure out what works for your body and, if present, medical conditions. You may need to see a dietitian. Or a doctor. You should read and educate yourself. You should visit blogs of folks who lost weight and KEPT it off for a year plus. The ones keeping it off 5 years plus. They have learned something.

VICTORY in 2013!

Find a buddy. Keep a journal (or a blog journal). Be honest. Don't run away and hide when it's tough. Find people who won't stop telling you to keep at it. Join challenges with kind people who believe in TOUGH LOVE, ie. they don't clap at your failings or enable you, but they do offer a hand when you need to get back up and walk on. Flabby love lets you get away with anything, buys lame excuses. REAL love wants the best for you and will speak firmly to you, refusing to allow you to wallow and not make progress. Real love says, "Stop that. It's hurting you!"

Always choose what helps, not just what feels good. What helps. What profits. What is good. What builds you up on your journey. Choose that.

It's gonna be hard. But it's worth it in so many ways to try and try with a fully committed spirit and heart and mind.

Really, you don't have to get skinny. You just have to get OUT of obesity--being overweight may not be as bad as previously thought, though being obese is still a bad thing-- and get stronger which will be useful in daily activities and protective of health as you and I age. And keep learning. Believe you have the power to do it. Every day, tell yourself you are ABLE.

AND NEVER QUIT.

Happy Thursday. The third day of a new year. Be well...

9 Pounds From Goal Weight... :O Wish I could be happier about it...

Today, Tanita-San said this: 169.8

I was shocked. I've longed to weigh less than hubby, which has been NOT the state of things for the majority of our marriage. But today, I was .8 lbs more than his weigh-in o f 169.0 on the same scale.

 4 pounds less than a week ago. FOUR.

Wow.

Anxiety/stress, just freaking in this bleak job market with NO income coming in right now, has pretty much put the kibbosh on my appetite.

I have NOT been exercising. At all.

I have had disturbed sleep.

And I've been trying to help hubby with his job search.

All that while watching pennies, continuing to plot/write, and strategizing how to become employable. Trust me, even with two degrees, when a person is out of the job market for 22 years, employability is near nil. Plus being over 50 brings a new discrimination factor.

It's tough in our household these days. And I pray and pray to calm my freakout.

Well, that's the update. Prayers continue to be much appreciated.

Please, be well...better than me. Cause this is NOT the way to lose weight.

Weight Milestones--when you get to a memory point

Many blogs ago, here and on my old blog, I had talked about weight milestones, those numbers that had special significance. Sometimes, the milestone was about crossing obesity/weight levels: not being severely morbidly obese, not being morbidly obese, not being obese, etc.

Sometimes, it's because we REMEMBER being a certain weight, with all the accompanying nostalgia/events. I remember being 172. I remember my skin being tauter Ya don't lose 127 lbs without serious loose skin issues. I remember doing aerobics and yoga at this weight. I remember doing low-fat/high carb (oodles of pasta). I remember wearing white shorts and a white tank when working out at home. I was 26 or so. Young!

This 172 is 52. It's got saggy, crinkly skin from big weight loss. It has less energy than 26 year old 172.

I remember wishing I was slimmer and reading diet books at 172. Dissatisfied with my body, though not horribly so. Just discontent.

Now, I see 172 differently. It's inevitable. Get to 300 lbs and 172 seems like a dream come true. It is a dream come true. Only it's an imperfect dream, because there are consequences, there is aging, there is, right now, all the anxiety and stress that I'm dealing with that saps joy.

So, it was emotional when I stepped on the scale. 172. One of those weights that had meaning and memories attached, for whatever reason the brain holds on to such matters.

I suspect all of us who dieted or watched weight have milestone numbers in mind, numbers from the past that aren't just numbers, but have clear feelings and states of mind and visual memories attached to the number.

Do you?

Absorbed and Forgot to Eat, but I Just Made Myself Eat NOW! And Is FAT INCURABLE? I'll hang on to hope...that I can be cured. :D

I looked up from some stuff I was doing--some researching, some writing--and lo and behold, it was 11:30 and I had not had but one meal, breakfast. Some eggs, papaya, boiled yuca (cassava), and coffee. That was it. Maybe 600 calories. Under 25 grams of protein, most likely.

I didn't want to end the day without enough protein (and yeah, still not really hungry), so I have a spinach-cranberry-almond-cheese salad , a protein shake (Swanson protein 17 g with some lowfat organic milk) and drank some beef Gelatin powder in water for more protein. Maybe 500 cals. I should end the day at a not too bad 1100.

I really think it's dangerous not to get enough protein and not to eat enough, period, in terms of holding on to lean mass and not making some bonkers hormonal reactions.

So, while I'm chewing, I decided to type. Cause I was still pondering an article I read a couple days ago, the one you ALL must have seen, read, and read people respond to. It was rather dire. You know which one I mean?

It was by David Wong over at Cracked.com with the title: Fat is Officially Incurable (According to Science).

You should read it if you have lost weight, are losing weight, or WANT to lose weight. It's not really saying something very different than what those of us who have kept up with the research over the years ALREADY know.  I remember reading something very similar--diets fail, nearly all the time--by a bariatric specialist when I was early in my weight loss blogging. It scared me, but it made me want to be one of the few freaks who keep it off. The minority.

I'd blogged before about how it's the few, very few, who lose a lot and keep it off, barring those who have bariatric bypass, since they have much greater chances of keeping it off, but might suffer complications that are hard to live with later. (And we've all seen famous bypassers regain, like Carnie Wilson. We've seen fellow bloggers with some form of surgical intervention regain partly, sometimes back into obesity. It's not a guarantee, but it does have better stats.)

This was also one of the reasons I never aimed for THIN. Thin, I knew, just knew, was beyond me. I aimed for NOT OBESE. That's all. Just not obese. Just overweight.

And I'm here now. Not obese. Not Thin. Just overweight.

I have no idea if I'll be one of the very few who stay not obese. I want to be, but I'm not gifted with future-vision.

All I can do is remember that it's EASY to regain. What will happen if I get the wild hunger so many "losers" report after hitting target or near-target weight. The mad urge to eat that is verified by science--studies that show hunger hormones elevated in those who dieted, lost weight. Even a year later, amazingly, a year after not being on the tight caloric regimen, hunger hormones remain HIGH, and need for calories LOW. (Lower than never-fat folks at same weight.)

It's scary. Really scary.

It's unjust. Sure. We say that.

It's reality.

But don't despair. Do read this balanced response over at 180 Degree Health by Rob Archangel, and just assess where you are and where you can be and how you can improve in the various health areas.

Sometimes, we damage ourselves trying to get to a perfect weight, or an ideal weight, when what we need is just to be at a healthy place, and that healthy place might be at an overweight or even mildly obese place. (I cannot be convinced that serious obesity/morbid obesity can be a healthful place.)

I lost 3.4 lbs this past week in a not healthy way. It was effortless, but it was not WELLNESS.

Some would say, "Shut up, take your losses and celebrate."

I would, except that I want to be WELL, not thin. HEALTHY, not skinny. FULL OF ENERGY AND STRONG, not a size 6.

I'm a size 12/14/16 depending on who/the cut/the style. And I'm okay being here as long as I'm here with good habits--sound food and good movement--and not here doing weird stuff or stressing out or having disordered eating or just laying around and turning to skinny mush.

Rob Archangel is right. We want health. Let's do what is good for health, and not be yo-yo dieters or obsessive over-exercisers, destroying our joints, or life stifling food perfectionists, trapped in orthorexia and unable to even enjoy a dinner out with friends or a holiday celebration.

This isn't just a scale thing. This is a quality of life thing.

If we can't focus on anything else once a good amount of weight is gone, if we can't learn to eat in a sane way and maintain that sane way of eating and moving, then there's something wrong with whatever plan we have.  If the weight is bouncing up and down and up and down, then it might be doing more damage than just working on other issues until the weight can be addressed with more calmness and strategy.

Just jumping into a fad diet out of despair at not fitting into a fave outfit might mess you up.

Weight loss requires a lot of work and planning and discipline, and it requires MORE to keep it off. Be aware, you newbies. Take time to learn.

Yes, you, if you're just starting your journey to a healthier weight, please remember the odds are bleak, but YOU can be one of the few successful ones. Do it right. Eat well of real food, move without hurting yourself, rest, meditate/pray, have supportive people around you (online and off), and accept that it's a lifelong vigilance, lifelong good habits that increase our odds of making it into the minority that KEEPS weight off.

Now, with hope, we move on....to be well.

Goodnight.

3.4 lbs down since Saturday Last...Whoa! Not necessarily a great thing.

My appetite has been low, my anxiety high, and the result is 3.4 lbs lost.

I'm 173.8 as of today.  That puts me 13.8 lbs away from my original goal weight.

I am shaky with chills. My feet look veiny, unexpectedly. And my face has a bit of a sunken look around the eyes. Clearly, this sudden drop has had drawbacks.

But still, I have to admit, seeing a lower number on the scale EVERY day is a flashback to late 2010 and early 2011 when I was in steady losing mode. Only this is not healthy loss. I am not exercising. I walked 30 mins yesterday, but that was the first time in nearly 2 months. I know muscle is getting wasted.

I pray to keep from freaking, and so I'm still able to function. But I am living on the edge of a freak-out, and only God's grace keeps my mood from disintegrating.

He is good. And I have faith.

For now, I'll say, "Thank you, Lord" for less fat on my middle and may He provide more calm in my body and more strength in my heart, so that I lose to be well, not to be drawn and weak.

I hope you are all doing nicely with your goals and plans and food and movement, better than I. I don't recommend 3 lb drops (unless it's a first week with water loss). Muscle loss sucks.

Lose soundly, be strong, and be well. (I will try to follow that advice myself.)

And prayers still appreciated.

Well, that was startling!

Yesterday: 176.0
Today: 175.2

Kind of really shocked me. Anxiety must burn a lot of calories. Or I just got tons of potassium in the sauce I used on my dinner of gluten-free pasta, ricotta, veggies and mozzarella.

Well, fascinating in its own way to watch this happen, though I'd rather be stress-free and sassy, if heavier. ; )

Be well...

Quick Check-in ...and Yet Again a New Low...

Haven't updated since last Monday. Stuff is still stressful, so I'm spending a lot of time in prayer, reading, decluttering, and just being a supportive Mrs. :)

On the scale: 176.0

That's what it said this AM. This past weekend, for the weigh-in, I was 176.2.

Last year around this time I was about 12 lbs heavier. At New Year's, I was 183. So, the bulk of my 123 lbs loss was NOT in the last year.

It's been tough, this last handful of pounds. Hence my decision to work on MAINTAINING, not radical loss. A part of me still wishes to see 160 lbs, but my focus is on not GAINING. The stress had helped me move to a new milestone, so close to that initial "would be happy weight"that  I posted on my old blog:175 lbs.

I would have been happier to see that low in a less stressful time, but it was cheering, all the same. I do worry I'm losing muscle, as exercise has been spotty and "less than". One of my goals for the coming week is to make and stick to a workout schedule and maintain lean mass.

Right now, I feel like the writing must come first. It wasn't until yesterday that I felt the words really come more smoothly and more "like me". :D  I haven't made much progress in actual number of words. Lots of what I wrote, I deleted the next day. Not right. Not right. Too generic. Not "me".

The work has been the labor of oiling up the machine, of once again feeling comfortable THINKING creatively. My head in the story. That's not easy when it's been a long hiatus.  The first step. And I saw the result last night. I started to write with more individuality and color and zip. I'll get there.

So, no regain. New progress. Bit by bit. But lots of stress and laying it at God's feet as best I can. Prayers always welcome.

Take care, keep at it, don't give up, be well....

Stress and the Scale--a new low, and some hopeful news...

I'm feeling a bit better, anxiety-wise, after getting sleep two nights in a row. Hallelujah!

Been so busy, between some stuff we had to do--job searching, taking company info notes for hubby; decluttering in case we need to move; and attending Supercon, which we had paid for BEFORE the lay-off and I thought I'd not enjoy, but it helped distract me, so worked fine.

I only had moments of that bone-rattling, shaking, nerves and palpitations anxiety/panic over the last couple days. Mostly, been praying, busy, and even danced 2 hours last night at the Supercon concerts.

Thank you so much, those who have prayed for us. I appreciate that more than these typed words could express, as I believe in the power of corporate prayer--prayers of like mind, of agreement.

Well, the good news is two-fold. 1. I'm at a total new low: 176.6  Weird, so weird. I stepped on the scale like 5 times thinking it had to be a blip. But no, five times it gave the same reading. That makes for 122.4 lbs lost total.

Good news #2 is that hubby had an interview today and they liked him enough for them to ask for him to come in for round 2 of interviews. Obviously, I researched the company for him, and it's a good one, a local one, and it would be a huge blessing for him to get the position. Please pray!

I hope this week sees you all doing well...and better..and best! I'm sorry I've been so busy that I haven't stopped by my usual blogging fatfighter-pal blogs. Forgive my absence. I hope to be back encouraging y'all soon. But a zillion things have my attention right now.

God bless...

Just a quote to get my depressed butt in motion...

In a paper, published in Physiological Reviews, the journal of the American Physiological Society, Karpe and Frayn describe how exercise not only prompts fat cells to release fat for use by muscles but also that raising fitness gives a long-term boost to the mechanisms that burn fat - meaning that fit people find it easier to get rid of fat.

Read more: http://www.ottawacitizen.com/technology/hits+your+waistline+fast+study+says/6621179/story.html#ixzz1wIYzrClR

FIGHT THE FAT REMOTIVATION PROJECT, Day 6: Activity #3 Joined a New Challenge ...Activity #4 Photos ....and Activity #5 Clothes for Mojo

Okay, so this is the continuing saga of Princess Dieter fighting to get her mojo back. :D

I've managed to put a halt to the upwards rise of the scale, which is the first step to getting it DOWN again.

If you didn't notice, I began the FtFRP six days ago, last Wednesday. Desperate times call for desperate measures. I didn't want to wait until I was obese again to get a handle on things. I decided it was time to just get the fire going and try different things to do so.

Activity 1 was 5 minute meditations. I am NOT being consistent with this (but then, consistency is one of the things that starts going out the window when the mojo flags.) This is to strengthen the SELF CONTROL section of the brain. (See the book WILLPOWER INSTINCT by Dr. Kelly McGonigal for more)

Activity 2 was reading the kinds of "wake up and do something" articles and studies (the scary stuff about fat, diabetes, etc) that made me get up and go in the past. I didn't want to get diabetes, and that was a big motivator for me. FEAR. 

Not just fear. It's also the LONGING FOR HEALTH. To me, they went hand in hand. I DESIRED HEALTH and FEARED DEADLY DISEASES.

Activity 3 was joining a challenge I did not lead. :D But I always value ACCOUNTABILITY. This time, I simply wanted to concentrate on ME and not have to do stuff for others, quite frankly. Until the mojo returns, this is about ME. I organized and co-led three challenges in a row, and I'm burned out. I want someone else to do linkies and I don't want to have to remind anyone to update or do this or do that. It's all about ME right now. :D

Activity 4 is PHOTOS. I used photographs to help me get a proper body image (I tend to see myself SLIMMER in the mirror, I learned, and that's as much a lie as folks who see themselves FATTER in a mirror. It's dysmorphia. It's self-delusion.)  It's also cheering when I see a change for the good in photos. And it's scary when I see change for worse. So, I'm taking lots of photos to remind me I"M STILL FAT. :D It also reminds me I LOOK BETTER NOW and don't lose it. VISUAL FEEDBACK.

Activity 5 is trying on CLOTHES and having motivating "smaller" clothes. This is something I've done for months, and my challenges reflected this. I believe having a tangible object that shows your body is changing and CAN change is helpful. When the scale number is the same, but something suddenly zips that didn't, you know the exercise is paying off and the body composition is changing. So, I firmly believe in clothes for motivation. VANITY.

I also use CLOTHES because I had to spend a lot of money getting new clothes in this journey where I've lost 117 lbs. A lot of moolah. And when I got closer to goal, I got dresses again (to show off legs and feel girly). I don't want to regain and NOT be able to wear the designer stuff I invested in. Anne Klein. Calvin Klein. Evan Picone. Elie Tahari, Marina, Ralph Lauren. I bought a few good pieces on sale, and I want to keep fitting or fit into the smaller pieces (the motivating ones, like the Nine West Dresses).  If I regain, I can't wear my purdy stuff. Unacceptable. If I don't lose more, I can't fit into my purdy motivational dresses. Unacceptable. SAVE MONEY.

Okay, so, some pics to document for myself and, I hope, work up the mojo:

Pics 1, 2: A happy abstracty print that I was hoping to use for a nice dinner out soon or Easter. It's sleeveless, so my droopy upper arms get noticed, but I don't care. Makes me feel pretty. Size 14 regular, Nine West.

Pic 3: This one doesn't show up well (bad lighting in the bedroom), but it's a ruched Calvin Klein women's 14 number that can be dress up for fun or dressed down for serious (the funeral type outfit, ya know). My fave type sleeve -- 3/4 -- to cover the fatwings.

Pic 4: One of my first pairs of zip up dress slacks, cause morbidly obese gals can't really rock the side zip designer pants. Anne Klein, size 14, navy... and you can see the bit of gape in the back, cause it's a bit loose now in the waist. :D

 Pic 5, 6: Ralph Lauren, size 14, skirt. This skirt has no give, does not stretch out like some, and zips up the side. So, if I regain, this can't be zipped and worn, period. It's already tighter than when I first tried it on...by 3 pounds. I could tell the difference in fit, cause my regains tend to be waist/belly first.

My current motivation dress (for the Ready for Summer Challenge) is this Ralph Lauren floral springy/summery number which I'd like to fit in perfectly for my anniversary in June OR SOONER. It's a regular, not Misses or Plus, but it's a 16 and fits waist and hips fine, but the upper torso is too snug to zip. The perennial problem of 38DDD/DDDD gals:

And as a reminder from last year, at 179 lbs (3 lbs less than today), it's nice to be able to wear zip-up jeans, which I hadn't felt comfy in or looked decent in for nearly 2 decades:

proud owner of zipper-jeans!

And what am I wearing today to remind me not to exceed my caloric goals? THIS:

TADA! A tennis skirt. This is only IN THE HOUSE wear, but it's a reminder. Don't get obese again. Lose more weight. Fit better into clothes. Keep being able to wear skirts.

Enough for now. I think I feel some mojo rising. :D

Be well...

Ah...there it is.

Tanita-san: 179.8

Okay, good, the rising mojo is showing results. I was pretty NOT happy with having popped up back into the 180s....

The real proof of this mojo pudding will be getting UNDER 178 and staying under. It will break this stasis, up and down the same few pounds gig that I'm weary of. I honestly don't care if all I lose is 1/2 pound a week. Or 1/4th of a pound a week. As long as it's a consistent trend again towards goal. (And goal is not a fixed point anymore. I've come to constantly reassess, but for now, yeah, 160 it is, but the number is not what I'm wed to. It's just a marker for progress.)

Believing for it!

Ticker Update: 118 Pounds Lost...A different ME is revealed when hubby is out of town...and I Resolve To Never to Eat Modern Wheat Again

Tanita-san: 181.0

That makes 118 pounds off. Ticker reflects this as of...a minute or so ago. :)  I am eager to cross that barrier to the 170s...so eager.

Food has been so easy this week. Hubby is out of town --boohooo--so I only have to worry about MY food. Which means...heck, easy-peasy. I do whatever is minimal, and I only go into the kitchen when hungry. This means I barely hit the kitchen. Yay!  I don't lose 2 pounds in five days unless I'm eating less. So, yeah, I'm eating less. But it's cause I'm following my natural rhythm: Only go into the kitchen when I'm hungry or just before I think I'm about to get hungry (preventative meal-making).

When hubby returns, I have to be regular with cooking, make extra for his lunches/snacks. It makes me think of food more, have to eat more on a schedule. That means more eating.

I want to win the PowerBall and never have to cook again. I'll be 125 pounds that way. hahahahahhahaha!!!!!

joking, half-way. ; )

I remember when I was morbidly obese and hubby went on trips. I saw that as "Woo-hoo, let's order delivery like mad" time. Order a pizza with the toppings MY way, no compromise. Order lasagna and meatballs. Order Chinese binge-feasts.

Now, I'm a different gal. I didn't order delivery once. I fixed all my meals. They were focused on protein, veggies, fruit, nuts, good fats,  with one deviation last night. I had a small portion of some leftover rice n beans, topped with salsa, alongside my home-made quickie-chicken-picatta and wilted spinach. Honeydew for dessert.

I actually could have not eaten at all on Tuesday--really had no appetite--but I always worry that if I go too long without, I'll get TOO hungry and set up a bingey thing. So, while I'll do intermittent short fasts (17 to 21 hours), I won't go longer. I guess I don't trust the binge-monster in me completely, even if I feel like a transformed person. Better safe than sorry.

I finished WHEAT BELLY, reviewed it at Amazon, and it firmed up my resolve from a few months back not to eat wheat/gluten. Hubby is on board, so it makes shopping/meals easier knowing he supports this. I know he's seen how it's done me good, and he sees how it's done him good, and why go back? His coworkers are frequently asking him what he's doing, cause they see he eats A LOT of food and has gotten radically slimmer. I think they see his three tupperware cooler of two-lunches and assorted snacks and wonder how he is so sleek, when he wasn't so sleek before. hahahah.

ETA for JoBee:
People become dependent on bread/wraps/crackers/pasta because it's simple/easy/no brain. To ditch the wheat--stop thinking of any food as a lunch food or a breakfast food. Any food is okay any time. Chicken for breakfast. Eggs for dinner. Veggies for breakfast. Steak for a snack.


For hubby, to simplify, I cook extra at dinner. A lot extra. And then I can use extras for the next couple days. And right after supper, I might make scrambled eggs with ham or cheese or both and he nukes it for breakfast with fruit.


Breakfast: have eggs any way you like with veggies. Add fruit if you're not insulin resistant/diabetic. Or can't live without it. hah. Have leftover dinner food. Have any protein with any veggie and some healthy fats. My fave is veggie omelettes, usually with some cheese (feta, cheddar, swiss). I almost always have fruit.  But I've had leftover chicken with spinach for breakfast. Hubby has had leftover buffalo chicken (I make it at home, no breading) for breakfast. He has turkey and cheese. He has leftover burger. As long as there's protein and some plant item, it's good.  I cook his stuff in EVOO, butter/ghee, or coconut oil.


Lunch: I have to fix him two lunches, cause he gets too think since ditching gluten and most sugar. Here is one day's packed lunches/snacks:

 Here's one "lunch set": There's grilled chicken with chopped carrots and diced celery over romaine; carnitas pork with rice and mozzarella cheese, applesauce, cashews; snacks include hummus/carrots, Larabar, dark chocolate square. He took his usual banana/apple in his workbag.

The above includes food from meals (leftovers). Grilled spicy chicken over yellow rice with a spinach mozzarella salad side; cheeseburger (sans bun) with asparagus (cooked in EVOO) with real mashed potatoes on the side (butter, cream); Snacks: Beanitos and salsa, cottage cheese with cantaloupe and strawberries, and there's dark chocolate under the bag of Beanitos. On top of this, he took an apple, a banana, and a bag of peanuts.

I stress that *I* can't eat like this. We tried totally grain free, and he dropped 5 pounds a week and was heading toward seriously UNDERweight. I added rice and taters back for him. I have them maybe 2x a week. I have metabolic issues he doesn't. But he has lost about 60 pounds from his highest weight.

I find salads are easiest: chopped cheese and turkey or chicken or ham or leftover steak or chicken or pork on top of greens with some veggies he'll eat (diced celery, broccoli slaw, shredded carrots). He's not got a big veggie vocabulary, but I do my best. :) He often has hummus with carrot sticks. I love using the Sabra single serve ones. Perfect for a snack. I also buy him Larabars (raw, gluten-free), which he enjoys. I can't eat them (too carby), but it helps him keep weight on these days. :D Cheese and nuts with crudite veggies and fruit can make a perfect no-cook meal. Breakfast can be non-sweetened yogurt with berries and nuts.

Just focus on protein/veggies as the spotlight, then add nuts, cheese, fruit (in moderation for those sensitive to sugars/carbs), seeds as accents, lots of nice spices. The starches that are safe and a allowed in our home--tubers, rice. For the non-carb-sensitive, gluten-free oats can be used. Use legumes if you aren't sensitive to them and they are properly soaked (although it's not Primal/Paleo, it's up to you. Dr. Davis gives the okay to moderate portions t keep glucose under control).

If you have any suspicion you might be wheat or gluten sensitive, if you have diabetes or insulin resistance (like moi), if you have a belly (ie, fat one), if you get cravings for wheat/gluteny products (that is, when you do your uncontrolled snacking, is is made of wheat or gluten-containing products, like crackers, pretzels, pizza, wraps, cookies, etc--or are you night snacking on roast chicken and spinach or honeydew and Manchego cheese?), if you have autoimmune conditions, or if you have low HDL/high triglycerides and dangerous small LDL that's HIGH--read the book.

The September 5th Woman's World magazine (your supermarket has it), gives a quickie overview and sample eating plan. But I recommend the book as he shows why wheat has been altered from its ancestral type. How it's not even the wheat eaten a couple generations ago. Different beast.

I'll eat ancestral wheat, should I come across bread made from it. I won't eat modern rejiggered/engineered wheat with its scary properties.

I don't need it, anyway. There's no nutrient in wheat that I can't get from the whole foods I eat, and in better form :) And I bet you don't need it, either. You might desperately want it. You just might be addicted to it. (And yes, he addresses that in the book, and if you have a loved one with schizophrenia or autism, you do want to read about the experiments in these areas with regard to wheat.) But that's all the more reason to assess your dependency on this not-benign grain and staple food.

So, that's my book recommendation for the week. WHEAT BELLY by Dr. Davis.

If you read it and try the program, really give it a good shot of at least 30 days,  let me know how it goes for you.

Have a great Thursday, eat well, move well..be well.

Closer to the "One-Seventies", Wheat Belly, And Not Hungry...And almost half of you hung in there in Slimmer This Summer, which is great.

Tanita-san: 181.8

Yes! A bit more down. Closer and closer to breaking that next barrier and hitting the 170s. I don't know how long, but I hope before the challenge begins on the 11th. :D

I just downloaded a book I've been looking forward to reading since I heard Dr. Davis was going to release it. It's just now available on Nook and Kindle (I Nooked it), and it's called WHEAT BELLY. I'm a big fan of ditching the wheat. Hubby and I both feel great, great, great, since ditching the gluteny grains. I may review it on the blog later. May not. Dunno. But you should at least go look it over if you have issues with obesity. The author, Dr. Davis, also has a blog. It's on my blogroll.

I had a good Pilates session yesterday and my core is nicely sore. Weather is miserable, so no walking today. I'm so gonna be happy when cooler, drier late autumn days come back.

I am not hungry. I just realized, right now, I have not eaten today. I'm gonna go fix something after I publish this post. Not cause I have an appetite, but cause I don't wanna get hit by the hungry beast and then have to decide what to eat. Preventative eating, yeah!

I visited the last Slimmer This Summer update linky blog to see how many challengers made it to the finish line. About half. That's pretty good. It was a moderately lengthy challenge--12 weeks--and my hearty congratulations to those who hung in there. TWENTY FIVE made a final post. Some did great, some not so great, but they finished.

We've got a nice number of challengers already for the CHRISTMAS DRESS COUNTDOWN CHALLENGE. I've got a few on the under-consideration list. Basically, I need to know you can finish what you start, which is why StS and DDDY peops were automatic acceptances if they finished a challenge/phase. You stick it out. I consider that important. I've learned that's important, even if you do poorly. You understand weight loss struggles go on for life and you just don't quit! So, thanks to the StS who made it to the finale. And if you're in the CDCC, welcome. Do your prep work. Get READY.

See you in that challenge soon.

And to all: Have a good evening . Be well....

BMI, average US Woman's stats, another milestone number to aim for, and "Hi" to all my future co-challengers in the next weight loss bloggy event for moi--Christmas Dress Countdown Challenge!

Tanita-san: 182.4

I loved seeing another half-pound down. I want to be in the 170s so badly. Another milestone will be hitting 172. For two reasons. It's the last weight at which I remember feeling truly sexy and good and flexible and well. Before the big illness hit and made me an invalid at 30, with miserable years thereafter soaked in black goo of depression and doctor visits, etc.

172 . I remember doing aerobics in my white shorts and white tank and feeling young and strong. 172. Milestone number in my brain. I wanna hit it.

Out of curiosity, I put 182 lbs (me now) and "172 lbs" (future me) in the BMI calculator to see what percentile that would put me in.

182 = 58th percentile
172 = 50th percentile (smack in the middle)

I then entered my goal weight to see where that would put me:

160 = 38th percentile (a much better place to be on that curve)

(I did hubby's stats on the calculator,  too, the man who's leaned out like mad on our lacto-primal-ish eating, and he's in the 11th percentile. Go, long and lean prince o' mine!)

I found this from the CDC about the average American woman's measurements:

Women:
Height (inches):   63.8
Weight (pounds):  164.7
Waist circumference (inches):   37.0

Nice to have a below average waist, when I'm above average in height (by 2 measly inches, though).  Not nice to see the average US woman is overweight. Unless she's an athlete, full of heavy bones and muscle, 5'4" and 165 lbs is hardly lean.

I make myself this promise: I will get BELOW average weight. Yeah, baby!

 Hello to the gals joining me in the Christmas Dress Countdown Challenge (henceforth, CDCC). As I mentioned in the comments section of in the rules post over at the CDCC blog, having a dress or outfit serves another purpose.

Ever have that week--those weeks--when the scale won't move but the body changes some, so you FIT BETTER in your clothes? Well, having a dress/outfit/coat/grass skirt/etc that you use for motivation is also having a tool to get you through the stalls. Cause if you are exercising, your body can still improve when the scale stalls. A dress can fit a little more even when the number stays the same on your home scale.

This is why it's a good tool. Visual. Tactile. And...a non-scale measure. Worth the investment. Motivation for less than 100 bucks. You can't get a life coach for that.

If you aren't already in a challenge and want some motivation-mojo to get through (most) of the year, go read the rules (see previous link for challenge blog) and see if it's the kind of challenge you CAN do and WILL do and are ready to do.

The blogroll on the right sidebar of the challenge blog is the roster of ladies already IN the ready-to-self-challenge for 14 weeks come September 11. View it here.

Slimmer This Summer Finale Update --progress made, review of goals, eyes on next challenge...

I began the challenge at 195.0 lbs.
I end it at 183.0 pounds.

I was happy to end on a nice round number with my weigh-in today. I originally planned to do the update on Sunday to get the most time to lose ....but I like round numbers. :)

Pounds lost: 12
Original goal: To lose 18. Missed it by 6. Still happy with progress.

Waist: I started with 37 inches. Wanted to make 35, but not sure if it was possible for me (my waist is resistant, but I hoped). Maybe if I had made it to 18 lbs off. But I only made it to 36 inches. However, if I pull the tape nicely snug, I make it to 35. Hah, loose skin!

I exercised consistently, though I did not meet goals perfectly.

I completed the goal to try a minimum of 2 new exercises: I swam. I did aqua-exercises. I played catch and frisbee. I did video-game dancing at the Supercon. I did rave-dancing at the Supercon. I used a kettlebell for the first time.

I think I only missed fluids level 1 , maybe 2 days. I did well with that. DDDY habit got entrenched.

I prayed for the contestants, though I will admit, not daily-daily. I missed some days.

I offered support via comments and email and on my blog. I hope it helped.

I went over my caloric levels more than I care to admit. I'd say at least 3 weeks' worth of days n 3 months had me surpass the 1400 limit. I did not binge, though. I never went over 2000 calories. I resisted a hella lot of temptation!

I missed the updates a couple times (time ran out on me when I went to check). I missed a couple weeks due to death in the family. But I hung in there.

I DID NOT QUIT!

For me, while I was quite imperfect, I was not a total wash-out. I made good progress. I lost 2/3rd of my desired loss and made a 50% progress on waist measurement reduction. During the challenge, I "resolved" my prediabetes and got off blood pressure meds.

I consider this a successful challenge for myself.

I'm glad Debbie and I organized this and stuck it through. I hope the participants got something good out of it. If you made it all the way through the 12 weeks, congrats. Proud of you for NOT QUITTING. I hope you're happy with the results.

My next challenge starts September 11 (eeeeek, dire date, but hey, that's how it is). It's two weeks longer than Slimmer this Summer. If you finished StS and want to join the Christmas Dress Countdown, then please visit http://xmasdress.blogspot.com and read the rules. See if it suits your needs / personality. I know I get motivated by challenges. One doesn't have to be perfect to make progress. This update is proof.

Okay, happy rest of summer, folks. Let's keep pushing toward our goals!

Be well...

A tiny bit of new ground gained on an earlier weigh-in and Pilates (late, but done) on an immune attack day...and more thoughts on the Christmas Dress Countdown Challenge...and my Motivation Accessories, Ordered, To Use When In The 170s.

Tanita-san: 183.6

That's a mere.2 lbs down since yesterday, BUT, psychologically, it's big. A new low ground.

And it brings relief. Yay, I didn't go up again due to a bad night of sleep. Had I slept fully and well, might have been a half pound. :-/  Mebbe. Especially since I weighed in several hours before my normal time. (And yes, I've noticed 3 hours can make a difference of at least .2 lbs.)

But I ain't feeling perfect.

Woke up NOT able to breathe and had to remove the pillow to take a breath. I had a flash from my apneic past, only this was different. I've had this weird feeling before....

It's not asthma at the moment bothering me. I was breathing fine all week.

Today had trouble. But it's not bronchial. Yes, still some light allergic reaction (would doubtless be more sans the Singulair and Zyrtec, etc). I am slightly congested nasally (August/September, sucks), but this is apparently thyroid related. I go through phases when my immune system attacks my thyroid, and it can be very bad or so-so or milk. So far, it's on the mild-to mid side. It feels like there's an impediment to heavy breathing (so I can't exercise full throttle), a pressure in my throat, and if I angle my head (like on a pillow), it's hard to breathe.

Pain in the...neck. But it happens. For some reason, when allergies or an infection hits, it seems I'm more prone to this. Perhaps just marshalling an immune reaction (allergens, viruses, etc) makes things go berserk. Just gotta wait it out and put off getting my blood test done a bit later (not Friday), to see if it will require a meds adjustment.

Anyway, will work through it. As long as I can breathe, I'm fine. Just can't really exert myself.

Hubby accidentally left my keys in his workbag, so I was late to Pilates (had to panic a bit, then hunt down the spare, hah). Rainy, so my 12th day of the blow-out got rained on. No more blow-out. Curls sproinged back up. But hey, 12 days of smooth, elegant hair from ne condition/blowout--that gal did a great job at the Aveda salon.

Been thinking about the challenge to come, looking at red dresses online (and black, and green, and anything that might be holiday-ey). I think part of the challenge will be to encourage the "water lap band" experiment for those who can't feel full on modest portions. I think I'll also suggest a "go mostly clean for two weeks" experiment for those who experience stalls. I have to get a book list together. Think about what sort of stuff would go into the sporadic motivation mojo emails.

It's gonna take time and effort. I don't know if I'll budget in for some sort of prize(s).

But I am thinking about it.

I thank everyone who responded with interest in the challenge. As I said, I'm gonna limit participation and give priority to those who completed the Slimmer This Summer (thereby showing they can complete a challenge, hang in, not give up, etc). I'd love to have everyone aboard who has interest and can abide by the rules. And no, no exceptions to the MUST weigh in weekly and MUST post a weight/scale number, yes, those THREE DIGITS, weekly on the blog, a public act of accountability. If I host the challenge, that will be ironclad requirement numero uno.

And we will be kind to each other, good weeks, bad weeks, bored weeks, always. No mean people. Period. But we should feel free to kindly kick each other in the butt when we're screwing up. KINDLY. With real concern, not nastiness. That's okay, always. :D

I got inspired by Katie J's purchase of a Vera Bradley patterned purse. I ordered two in the Versailles Pattern. (I liked some other patterns better, but this has the colors I need to fill in the bag dept to match some clothes/footwear.) Pics:

These matched babies could take me on an overnighter/weekender, I think. :D And would match my mostly black/red/blues wardrobe.Especially since I want to acquire more happy greens to wear. Greens are cheery. I wore black for so long--and still default to it, as I look great in black--that I want brighter colors in future to supplement my black staples.

The purses are MOTIVATION tools to get me out of the dang 180s. I've been here too long and it's time to see a new "decade". 170s: here I come!

Got any motivational items waiting for you to see a new number? Do tell me!

Finally Back to "Low Ground" With Four Days Left in Slimmer This Summer and Why I Don't Believe In Shrouding One's Weight Number in Secrecy....

Tanita-san: 183.8

Captured the lost ground. Back to lowest journey weight again. Just want some progress beyond this by last weigh-in for StS. As long as I do what I ought and don't go salt-nuts (as I am wont to do), should be fine.

I had such a long-winded post last time, hey, got nothing here. Plan to walk today. Cancelled my Pilates classes this week due to hubby's trip/hurricane worries, but now we're not gonna get hit and hubby's trip was rescheduled. Yay to both. But I still gotta move.

If you are interested in a possible challenge I'm pondering, read the long-long-long-looong previous post. I only want folks who will commit to hang in for the full challenge, be the weeks good or bad, breezy or excruciating, joyful or depressed, milestones or setbacks. I want folks willing to lay it out there, good or bad, no excuses. AND A WEIGHT NUMBER. No hiding.

We give power to the damn scale number when we don't voice it. What's covered up is made to seem shameful. What's hidden is given more power than it should have. Set yourself free. Post the damn number and empower YOURSELF. Own it.

I've always told people my real weight, when I was 299 (and I'd round it up to 300). I didn't see any reason to lie. Trust me. People look at you and if you're obese, they know you're fat. They know you ain't 130 lbs. Lying about one's weight is just kinda weird. Hiding is...a way of admitting shame. And I think shame is already enough part of the equation. It's best to let it loose, release the number, and start getting over the embarrassment. Can't hide being really fat. People've got eyes. So, why hide a number when the evidence is right there in 3-D?

I'm 51. I'm 183.8 lbs.

So what? Do you like me less cause it ain't 125? Do you like me more cause it ain't 299?

It's just numbers...

And, well, I guess I did have something to say. :)

Later, be well...

Some Princess Dieter comments and links speaking on the Theories & Complex Factors on the Matter of Becoming Obese and Getting NOT Obese and a Quote ....on a lazy, bloated, wanna-nap day...

Scale is up from salt and added carbs these last 4 days--both of which cause water retention and scale stalls in me, historically. I knoweth of what I speak.

As much as I have enjoyed the added taters, sushi rice (with my veggie sushi), and brown rice (with my grilled chicken and veggies) this past week, and as much as my salt-hungering tongue loved the dips into soy sauce and shakes of the Celtic sea salt, and as much as my fruit-addict self loves summer's bounty of colorful sweet beauties, it's time to get back on program and stop being slackerish on my tracking.

No binges. No massive overages (though I have gone over calories twice this week). It's just me being hungry again from the carbs. I know it. I've doubled my fruit intake. While that may be a heathful food option, raw fruit, it's still too much in the sugars department for my metabolically not-normal body.

So, back to more veggies, fruit moderation (noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, weep, weep) and scaling back on tubers and rice. I won't ever eliminate them, but I got too loose with allowances. Once or twice a week, fine. But almost every day this week, even modest portions not so fine. For me, it's NOT just calories--it's insulin. It's appetite. I felt my appetite growing and my night-time snack urges return. I want them to go away again and regain the Zen Appetite. :D

Yesterday, I walked and did Pilates. 1 hour and 20 minutes of exercise. Felt good. I'm sore.

Lots of interesting discussions out there in LowCarb/Paleo/Primal blogs after the Ancestral Health Symposium (AHS).

I'd recommend this one first: There is no single cause of (or treatment for) obesity

And I recommend this one for the lucid and gracious third reaction  to the Taubes/Guyunet debate by Dr. Paul Jaminet.

For me, recognizing the food-reward research/findings set me on the road to loss. That was pivotal for me. Then Taubes anti-carb pronouncements helped me see my Insulin Resistant status needed a careful eye on starches/sugars. Dr. Jaminets (and others) on toxins/inflammatory foods helped me realize that as a person with a big family history of and personal affliction with auto-immune diseases, I need to consider THAT aspect as well. All three have served me.

But I agree with Healthy Skeptic--it's a very, very complex situation and it requires looking at the variables. Not all situations are equal, because not all bodies function the same.

However, caloric restriction works. We Challengers know it.

And yet, most dieters who lose regain. Or never make goal at all.

How can one keep on a restricted diet for life (if needed), if the appetite is insane or binges are an issue? Even bariatric surgical patients have issues with regain, so how could it not be for those lacking the assist of constricted stomachs or rejiggered intestines?

If wanting or wishing were both = to doing, no one would be fat.

And why don't all people lose at the same rate on the same calories? Not everyone maintains on the same calories, even if they are of the same height and weight. Not everyone is as healthy or energetic or satisfied with their meals or nourished on the same QUANTITY of calories. Bodies differ. Medical status differs. Types of food ingested differ. Fluids processed differ (ask a kidney disease patient about that one.) Carbs tolerance differs --ask an I.R. or diabetic person about that. Tolerances of foods differ--ask a celiac disease or I.B.S. sufferer about that. Fat metabolism differs--some of us absorb and fill up fat cells more efficiently. Some of us release fat from cells LESS efficiently. THere are genetic tests for that. Some folks swell up fast with salt. Some are barely bothered. Some are metabolically more efficient and their bodies ratchet up to burn excess calories. Some just make more fat and don't elevate temperature or activity naturally to compensate.

Variables.

Because I'm genetically a fat-hoarder (if I eat too high fat like some low-carbers, I'm screwed), and auto-immune (I can't have some things that don't seem to bother others), allergic (some food groups are totally out to me, limiting what I can eat), and a hyperconditioned overeater (I do respond to the food-reward combo of fat/starches-sugars/salt, so I have to restrict or avoid trigger hyperpalatable foods or I BINGE). I also have hypothyroidism and that affects metabolism and mood and makes losing weight harder. (Saw what happened to Linda Ronstadt when her thyroid went kaput?) I'm post-menopausal, so I need fewer calories than when younger. Age is also an impediment, though not a solid wall 100 feet high.

Impediments aren't insurmountable, they can just make it harder, make it slower, make it maybe necessary to get MORE professional help.

I'm a genetic, medical, neurotic mess. I need to read and study and work to get over the hurdles to lose weight. For me, every pound is a fight. I'm never gonna be the stellar "Lost 8 pounds a week" type. Oh, no. But I made it out of obesity and just wanna stay outta obesity, even if no one ever nicknames me "Slim." :) It's about health for me. Not Perfect Health (as that has always been beyond me, since birth), but better health.

I've said for nearly a year to assorted friends and relatives who ask that I've lost on both low-fat and lower-carb, but that for me, moderating carbs is an appetite suppressor in a way low-fat never was. But that both break the reward cycle and can help people with that. I still believe this. But I think every person should examine their individual situation and see how many of these variables discussed out there on bariatric matters--toxins, carbs, protein, fat, low fat, low carb, low toxin, hyperpalatability, food-reward, etc--and see which are the predominant factors in YOUR life. Depending you YOUR issues, you may need to tweak how you eat or see a counselor or dietitian or specialist in endocrinology. It's not one diet plan fits all.

I also do believe you must reduce caloric intake (as a nation, we freaking eat too much crap and some of us too much even of the good stuff). But I think that for those of us with crazy big appetites, it's worth looking at appetite suppressing properties in moderating carbs/starches/sugars.

Whatever your individual situation is--and you may be much healthier than me and not saddled with a plethora of genetic wackiness, or you may be WORSE off and feel hopeless--just know that you can learn a lot from the scientists and sociologists and psychologists out there working to see how to solve our problems. But it will come down, as transformations always do, to working your butt off and developing new habits It's hard. But it's not hopeless.

Here are a couple ofs quote from Dr. Jaminet--just two the many I read this afternoon among the blogs chattering after the AHS:

It seems to be easiest to induce obesity with a roughly equal mix of carbs and fat; both low-carb and low-fat diets tend to be less obesogenic. This result is compatible with Stephan’s views because carb and fat together are more rewarding than either alone, and with my views because carb-fat combinations can be highly toxic – for instance, a fructose-PUFA combination is more toxic than either alone; or carbs feed gut pathogens while fats carry their toxins into the body.


...

Due to the diversity of factors which conspire to cause obesity, it is a rather heterogeneous disease. Its unifying character is that some combination of causal factors induces “metabolic damage,” such as leptin resistance, in a variety of organs, including the brain. Metabolic damage can affect both appetite regulation and energy homeostasis.

~~Paul Jaminet, co-author of THE PERFECT HEALTH DIET

Pounds To Goal Weight..really? Wow. How'd I Not Focus on that?..A Gal Who Lost What I Want and Plan To Lose and Has KEPT IT OFF (most important!)--ie, ROLE MODEL of HOPE.... And a Book I'm Gonna Pre-Order....and a blogroll purge...

I was reading one of the challenger's blogs in SLIMMER THIS SUMMER, and she was happy that she's only 21 pounds away from her goal weight.  Her "end is near."

I'm super happy for her, too. Isn't that what we all hope for. To complete our weight loss journey.

And I realized, as I commented on her post, that I'm 27 pounds away from my goal weight. (Although, I confess, as I'm pretty darn happy at my weight now, I think my goal weight may be adjusted a bit higher than the original 160. Perfectionist, I'm not. I just want health and sustainable mobile/flexible/normalish weight.)

Yep: 27 pounds away.

I remember when I was 139+ pounds away and it seemed utterly, totally, ridiculously hopeless. I was dispirited big time.

Then I was 129 pounds away and it seemed only slightly less hopeless, but hope had risen in my bosom some, and I started a weight loss blog in 2007.

Then I was 119 pounds away, and I felt mired, but not hopeless, and looked for all sorts of options/ways to make progress, with lots of backsliding, with lots of experimentation, with half-hearted attempts, but never again to that dread 139+ hopelessness.

Every 10 pounds made it less hopeless. Every 10 pounds NOT regained kept me NOT hopeless.

Then, momentum came, at last, God be praised, and every 10 pounds lost lit a fire and every 25 pounds lost made me feel utterly victorious. Though goal sure still felt so far away...

Now, I'm 27 pounds away, and these last pounds are the hardest, but the ones most full of joy and hope. Yes, I can see that finish line. Which is only a new starting line: maintenance.

I googled for "lost 140 pounds and kept it off" to find a role model. I used to do this with google back in 2007 and the couple years after. Looked for people who had lost more than 100 or 120 or 130 etc pounds. Now, I search not for those who lost it alone. I've seen too many regain who have lost those massive 100+ pounds.

I want to know who KEPT THE DARN WEIGHT OFF.

I found this gal: Debra Mazda. She looks mature, healthy, fit, but not perfect. She looks realistic. She looks like *I* could look if I kept going and got down to 160-165 and kept working out. She's a realistic role model for me. (And if I get an indication we'll still be in South Florida for my birthday next year, that cruise of hers sounds like something I can reward myself with for making goal/close to goal/new goal by Christmas.)

Seeing her look so vibrant at a weight HIGHER than my goal of 160 make me think, sure. I can be happy bigger than 160, if it's a HEALTHY, FIT, MUSCULAR 160+. I'm happy now. I can be happier. :D

Do you ever look for your size/your loss/your dream role models? Realistic, real-people role models? If not, start.

And  I hope one day I can be the "She kept the weight off for 5, 10, 15" years role model for someone who needs to lose 130+ pounds. Isn't this part of why we document and blog and give our insights out. To give hope to those who are where we WERE?

Thanks, Debra Mazda, for being one of those beacons of hope to the ones, like me, who had/have a long, long road to get to a happy weight.

So, now that I have time to read again, I am gonna pre-order this one (unless I learn it will come for the Nook, and wait for that): WHEAT BELLY: Lose the Wheat, Lose the Weight, and Find Your Path Back To Health by William Davis, M.D.

I feel loads better since ditching wheat/most grains, and I want to see what he says more in-depth about it. He, like Dr. Mercola, the Primal/Paleo folks, the New Evolution folks,  and the Jaminets of the Perfect Health Diet, pretty much show the value of going wheatless/gluten-free. For those with resistant appetites and Metabolic Syndrome or heart disease issues (especially inflammatory issues, like me), it's worth a look for sure.

I'm off to purge my blogroll on my old blog, then this one some time later or tomorrow. There are bloggers who haven't updated for weeks or months and it's time to say "adios". I posted/commented often to try to lure some back, but when folks wanna stay gone, well, what ya gonna do? They gave up and you can't make folks post, right? Time to remove them from the list and make room for those who are posting. Some will always be remembered fondly.

I'm also thinking of saying adios to some other bloggers who are active--even VERY active--and who I kept my on my old blog's linky blogroll,  but who have indirectly, probably even unknowingly, been insensitive or have caused me pain. Sometimes, you gotta do that, too. For mental health.

I wish my challengers and all fat-fighters a strong and happy Sunday. Beat your food demons. Beat your lethargic, couch-potato demons (my issue this new week, to get back to my exercise-girl persona habit). Let's win the war and win back our health!

Day 19 of 84 in the StSC: Don't feel like blogging, feel like having fun! ...Challenge Update...Knee update...Sis update...a Quote...& Go Praise someone today!

No weigh-in...nothing really interesting to say. I'm so not into blogging this week.

But I'll give it a shot....

First, lemme update a few things for the week:

~Eating is great.
~Exercise is back on, baby! I still have to be careful --I totter a bit when I walk as left knee is still not 100% with a bit of swelling remaning and those fading green blotchy bruises--but I did a 30 minute walk (very moderately paced to not reinjure) as well as a full session of Pilates.  Lots of upper body work, as we still have to watch the knee, but some legwork. So nice to be able to move with no pain again, just some instability and that annoying snapping sound. Today, I want to see how I can do the push-up work. I've avoided anything that makes me either put weight on knees or lock knees....I want to get back to that goal's work.
~Water/fluids is on target.
~I've been less chatty on blogs, but I have hit some up this week to support. I also tried to be very supportive/encouraging here and the feedback tells me it did help. So, that goal met.
~Not quitting.
~Yesterday was the first day I forgot to pray for the Challengers. I really just spazzed on that one. Perhaps because my prayer time and mind were on some other things so acutely ....but back on it today.


Sis and I are patched up fine. Like I said, love overcomes all sorts of stuff, minor or major. This was in the minor category in the grand scheme of things, but hey, it's the people you love the most who can wound the most. But it's all god now and, as I firmly believe, it's better to get things out, talk, learn new stuff, and make things even better. Thanks for the well wishes on that.

This upcoming weekend in my fella's big one. He turns 51. So, I expect to be out and about spoiling him rotten. :D Don't expect to see much if any posting, other than the requisite challenge update.

I actually feel like Floridana these days. I want to be unshackled from the computer and out and about in the summer fun. Like her, my feet don't swell now. I'm less heat intolerant (though I still have issues due to some meds I take). I have more energy. I feel prettier in skimpy summer outfits. I can wear shorts without feeling like a freak. I love dining outdoors now that I eat modestly and don't stuff myself so badly I only want to go home and veg on the couch afterwards (my usual post-dinner out mentality in ye olde days, um, like a year plus ago). Now, we eat out and then walk around, shop, hit some fun spots. Much better this way.  (Although I do need to always find nice restrooms as all the water/fluids mean I do need to go with more frequency than my no--adequate-watering days.)

I hope you unshackle from the puter and go have summer fun, too. :)

Anyway, was listening to Focus on the Family earlier, and a British man named Rob Parsons was giving advice for improving family life, and it was pretty darn good advice, too,  said something he said about dealing with his children made me stop and jot it down:

When the ear never hears praise, the heart loses the will to try. 

 I believe this. Well, I know that when I'm praised--be it by an online challenge leader like Allan, by my husband, by a sibling, by a boss, by a teacher--it makes me want to try harder and do better. It gives me wings. So, I hope that as you work on your fitness and weight loss progress, that you get praise. That people notice you're trying hard and spur you on. And I thank everyone who has come here and given me praise and encouragement. It keeps me going.

Praise someone's hard work at fightfating and goal-achieving today. They may really, really need it.

And if you wanna see an example of one challenger dedicating a whole post to praising a person who helped her (and this same person helped me, too), visit Julie.

Today's fightfating plan is to work on the push-ups, walk, eat at or under 1400 cals, drink my fluids, pray for the challengers, keep focused on goals, and ENJOY THE SUMMER sans aching feet and swollen ankles. ENJOY LIFE without overstuffing! ENJOY my family, without enabling bad eating!

ENJOY, period, the things I've gained after losing all this fat. Just ENJOY!

Happy weekend, fatfighter and friends. Be well...