Note: Thanks to those who chimed in with suggestions in my previous post regarding the devotional project. I appreciate it. :D Please feel free to add more suggestions. On to our regularly scheduled post...
Sunday is my normal weigh-in day for this blog (or Saturday or Monday when I forget). And it's Sunday, the 6th. Three Kings Day. Dia de Los Reyes. The Feast of the Epiphany. It's the 12th Day of Christmas, as well. With this, Christmas is officially over and the trees can come down.
But we'll get to that later. First, the weigh-in:
180.4
The right direction. It was 183.2 New Year's Day.
So close to my goal decade.
Interestingly, when I went to log the weight on my sidebar weight journal (see left sidebar), I wrote in "God" instead of "Goal" when I added the note about 2013: "End Goal for Year = 170 lbs" I had first typed: "End God for the Year."
That slip of the brain made me think about how some of us make weight, our bodies, our "look" and size--we make those our God. Our diet becomes our God. It consumes us and defines us and we create an idol. It reminded me to keep this in perspective. It's something that requries attention, energy, study, work. But it should never become my idol. I've seen more than a few bloggers who turn food and exercise into their idol--that's what creates and directs them in such an obssessive way that it's a bit worrisome.
And in the other extreme, there's those times we and other folks don't give a damn about what we/they eat, don't care about our health and just act immaturely or apathetically and refuse to listen to wise counsel, not our own internal wise voice or the sage words of loved ones or the helpful direction from a professional only interested in our well-being.
Both apathy and idolization about our health and food issues are sick extremes.
I just want to normalize.
I don't aim to be cut/buff/perfect. I don't aim for a size 2 or 4. Orthorexia isn't my goal. I don't want to freak if I have a deviation now and then from my plan. Only if it's a pattern, if the deviation begins to become the norm.
Normality about eating and better health from lifestyle changes--that's what I want. Not to obsess about food. Not to not care about food. Not to self-destruct. Not to idolize my body.
It may be an epiphany for you to accept that it's easy to make food a god--either worship it eating too much or thinking about it too much. Yes, you can make your body a temple or an idol--one is good, one is not.
Treating it with respect and making it work well for your life purposes: good. Valuable.
Treating it like the end-all, be-all of your self-esteem, feeding vanity along with perfect meals, feeling superior to others because you look "like this" and not "like that": not good. Bad.
I'm looking for the good path between extremes. How about you?
Anyway, on the personal front: I've had trouble bringing my calories down and getting back into the eating format/pattern/manner that I ate in my main losing phase in 2011.
This is normal.
After increasing intake, after allowing those treats and caloric foods--things like chocolate truffles, mousse made with real sugar, fried New Year's empanadillas, fried stuffed potatoes on Christmas--the body wants more of that. The brain has been brought into those old habits of pleasure and stimulation and it wants more.
What did you let yourself indulge in that made you have a hard time with appetite? Holiday pies? Fried foods? Junk drive-thru foods? Now, you will have to pay the price.
Like junkies, there's gonna be a bit of withdrawal. The brain does want the "fix."
Control is harder. There it is. I have to get through the "pulling in the reins" phase, and it's gonna be hard and hurt a bit, but I remember that the easier phase comes after. When the brain calms down, the body adjusts, the stomach shrinks, the habit of control reasserts.
It will come. If you're going through this same adjustment phase, just hold on. It will come.
Like I did in 2010 when I began, I'm gradually decreasing intake. I'm not in strongly restricted zone yet. I found for me, stages works best.
In fact, some dietitians advise slowly readjusting. Instead of slashing calories radically--say 2500 or 3000 or 4000 to 1400 or 1200 or 900--some do better just to ease off the problem foods and higher calories down to better eating and lower calories in steps. Steps. Bit by bit. Not from feast to starve, which can be jarring or lead to a binge. No, rather, it may help to go from overeating or bad eating to more normal eating, then from more normal eating to moderate caloric restriction or deficit, then consider dipping into stricter calorie-deficit dieting levels.
Granted, there are exeptions. There are folks who do great slashing away and feel totally in control right off with tiny portions.
Given the blowback of binges I see round about when some folks try to do that, I say give the 'steps system' a go. Bit by bit. Cut back, change, refine, bit by bit.
On the matter of epiphanies, revelations: One of those books that delivered an epiphany for me in 2010 and made it possible for me to get a grip on my binges (I haven't binged since May 2010) was THE END OF OVEREATING, which opened my eyes to how hyperpalatable foods can send folks into chronic overeating. Those types of foods do set me off. can literally make me go into this frantic thing where I shovel, shovel, shovel food. If I eat them again daily, consistently, that will happen again. I know it.
I don't allow that. (Or haven't yet.) The daily indulgence in the hyperpalatable.
But I have allowed intrusions more often than is healthful for ME.
During my illness and holiday weeks late in 2012, I allowed some of those hyperpalatable foods (ie, some salted olive oil potato chips, sugary treats, fried and salted foods with carbs--the triumvirate of overeating (fat with starch with sugar.) Not every day. Not every meal. But enough that it's done something to my brain and tongue and desires again.
I felt my appetite increase. I felt the monster begin to return.
How's your appetite beast? What are you doing to manage it?
For me, managing that beast involves refusing to eat hyperpalatable foods, cooking more at home, keeping tons of fresh produce in the house, drinking lots of fluids, increasing protein (even using whey between meals), and moderating carbs/starches (for me, that moderation of carbs/starches means, ideally, 80 to 120 carbs a day, and definitley no more than 150. I don't do well on VLC--my thyroid rebels--but I don't do well on higher carb/starch--my appetite wakes up like mad).
I also do better with two good-sized meals than many mini-meals. My stomach stretching some to contain fluids and food, sending those signals for satiety, that system sets me up for happy hours of non-food-thinking.
During the last two months of last year, I went back to snacking. I was sick. Often couldn't bother to get up and fix meals while hubby was at work. Didn't wanna do delivery and set myself up for some bad food mojo.
Well, snacking, yeah, that didn't work so well. It does not satisfy. Just makes me want to snack more. Doesn't matter if it was a small 140 calorie bag of olive oil tater chips or nuts and fruit or a wedge of cheese or a boiled egg. I just wanted MORE.
This month, I'm cutting back number of times eating. I want no more than two meals and one snack. That's the goal. Two meals, each 600 to 700 cals, and a snack only if appetite is out of bounds and I can keep to no more than 1500-1600 calories.
For some of you, what works to control appetite is a bit different, cause we're different. Though, in general, protein is the most satiating macronutrient. It really is.
BUT..for you, maybe it's high fiber that controls your appetite. Or fiber with lots of water. Or Several small meals. Or keeping out starches altogether. Or keeping out fruit altogether. Or eating more fat. Or having a lot of liquid protein. Or nuts between meals. Or hypnosis. Or meditation. Or prayer. Or a walk. Or singing. Or chatting on the phone with friends. Or sex. (That one actually worked really well in my faster losing phase. If I wanted to eat, I'd jump hubby. Voila. No more cravings.)
Whatever works that's not immoral or illegal--go for it. :D
Today, after worship service, we meet with family to celebrate Three King's Day (as it's commonly referred to down here), the Feast of the Epiphany, when the wise men from the east finally located the Christ Child (not baby, child) and presented homage and gifts. The Bible never mentions how many there were, but tradition counts three--Balthasar, Melchior, Caspar--to match the three gifts of gold, frankincense and myrrh.
They traveled a long way. They were dedicated to the journey. When they found their goal, they surely went off rejoicing, a lot lighter in baggage and a lot lighter in heart.
It was worth following the star, being away from home, being exhausted from a long day's ride, day after day. It was worth bad weather and the threat of robbers. It was worth risking the wrath of a jealous, murderous Herod.
Because what awaited the end of that search was AMAZING. Miraculous. Life-changing. Eye-opening. Empowering. Satisfying to the soul.
If you're reading this long, long post, you're on a journey like mine, right? We each have that guiding star--look for it.
We each need to sustain ourselves, cause we might traverse some perilous places and it may take YEARS. YEARS AND YEARS. It may not be as easy or quick as you imagine. But it's going to be amazing.
You'll see great things, in yourself and in others. You'll experience epiphanies. It may not involve gold or myrrh or frankincense--or it might, as I often had my hubby anoint me with scented oil and pray over me on those hard, hard days--but it will involve finding treasures. You learn a lot about yourself when you overcome stuff
And setbacks? You just climb back on that camel, adjust your robes, and keep looking at and moving toward that star.
God bless on this feast day. Great things await the true seeker willing to move and change...
Be well...
Showing posts with label support and encouragement. Show all posts
Showing posts with label support and encouragement. Show all posts
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Scale Pic and Forming Goals for 2013, and some advice for the Big Gals (and Guys) out There New To Blogging for Weight Loss
Here is what I saw on Tanita-San today after I woke up, peed, and stumbled to the back room where I keep the scale:
I hopped on the scale a few times, which I always do to confirm the number. You can see the same number came up twice: 181.4 .
It was 183.2 yesterday (see previous post), so the excess fluid from my holiday salty foods frenzy is...flowing out.
This puts me at a total loss of 118 pounds. Not my lowest number. Still out of the obese range, yay.
I don't like being in the 180s again. Not at all. My plan last year when I decided to move into MAINTENANCE had been to maintain in the 170s. Anywhere in the 170s, but preferably in the middle to lower ranges, sure. Just THAT weight "decade."
So, immediate goal is to get back into the 170s. Healthfully. With good nutrition. No crash diets. I don't care if it's slow. I don't want to end up with micronutrient deficiencies which impact a lot of my health issues.
Ultimate goal for this season (ie period from January to end of March) is to rebuild muscle, get back walking habit (at least 3x a week) and get to 171. That's 10 pounds.
I will add that losing 10 pounds is not easy for me. It's easier when one is big-big, though even for big me, losing 1 to 2 pounds a week required quite a lot of discipline. I was the laggard in Allan's challenges (though I stuck out the ones I joined to the end). So, 3.3 pounds a month --or roughly under 1 pound a week--is going to mean I have to focus a lot on my calories. Watching, adding, monitoring, curtailing. And burning some off. Though I find consumption matters more than exertion. What I eat affects the scale the most.
Exercise, though, affects how I feel and how my clothes fit. I see more muffin top with my abdominal and back muscle depleted. I hate that. But keeping muscle takes work, just as building it takes work. It doesn't happen by wishing.
The sad truth about weight for those of us who were formerly obese/morbidly obese/severely morbidly obese/super-obese is that weight comes back at alarming speed and goes down with reluctance.
Granted, some folks hold tons of water and those first weeks on a diet make for a beautifully satisfying whoosh of 7 or 10 or more pounds. Not me. I am not that level of water-hoarder. But that's mostly fluid, and the business of burning fat is always harder. And the closer to goal weights we get, that much harder. Sometimes, maddeningly hard.
I'm here to tell you maintenance is tough. I've seen a host of blogging pals drop out of sight when they couldn't keep the weight off. I don't wanna do that. I want to say, here I am, with some regain, aiming to stop it and get back in maintenance range.
A bit of advice from someone with a near-lifelong weight struggle who used blogging and online aids to finally make progress (and I hit 303 lbs on my doc's scale in 2004, for reference):
If you're big or very big and starting on your weight loss journey this year, please be accountable on your blog. BE ACCOUNTABLE. It's the main reason I began THIS blog, stopped the old one, and focused on goals and numbers and photos and self-examination and challenges.
Accountability means you put it out there and try to figure out how to solve the problems. It's hard. It's often embarrassing .
(See my Phat Pilates pics--click on tab link under the blog header-- if you want to see EMBARRASSING! It was really hard for me to post those when I was huge-huge and clumsy and sweaty in tight clothes and messed up hair.)
Don't use the blog just to wax eloquently or awkwardly about your ordinary life stuff. That won't cut it. That won't help you.
Make specific goals. DAILY GOALS. WEEKLY GOALS. MONTHLY GOALS. SEASONAL GOALS. ANNUAL GOALS. Let the community know if you met goals or failed to meet them. Examine why you can't make a breakthrough. Read. Study. Introspect. Ask folks to kick you in the butt when you grow lax. Support others as a way to support yourself, too. Sometimes, reading others doing the same things you are --good or bad--has a wonderfully motivating effect.
But weigh and plug those numbers in. Put them out there. Defuse them and make them just measures. MEASURES of lack of or wonderful progress. Don't expect 4 pounds a week (unless you're male and huge or female and huge and really active). Just make reasonable, attainable goals and, if you do not quit, if you persist, you will see progress.
One pound a week is 52 pounds a year In two years, that's 104 pounds.
One-half pound a week is 26 pounds a year, 52 pounds in two years.
Two pounds a week is 104 pounds in one year, 208 in two.
Consistency is the key. You can lose 26, regain 30. You can lose 80, regain 50. You can lose 200, regain 200.
What you want, and what I want, is to lose and keep it off.
The odds of success are slight. Google it. Very few keep off large amounts of lost weight.
So, focusing on the quickie crash diet that gets off 10 pounds in 2 weeks will leave you nowhere if you gain it back, and odds are you WILL regain it.
You have to learn what you like and what is nutritious and what contains your large appetite or urges to snack unhealthfully. You have to figure out what works for your body and, if present, medical conditions. You may need to see a dietitian. Or a doctor. You should read and educate yourself. You should visit blogs of folks who lost weight and KEPT it off for a year plus. The ones keeping it off 5 years plus. They have learned something.
Find a buddy. Keep a journal (or a blog journal). Be honest. Don't run away and hide when it's tough. Find people who won't stop telling you to keep at it. Join challenges with kind people who believe in TOUGH LOVE, ie. they don't clap at your failings or enable you, but they do offer a hand when you need to get back up and walk on. Flabby love lets you get away with anything, buys lame excuses. REAL love wants the best for you and will speak firmly to you, refusing to allow you to wallow and not make progress. Real love says, "Stop that. It's hurting you!"
Always choose what helps, not just what feels good. What helps. What profits. What is good. What builds you up on your journey. Choose that.
It's gonna be hard. But it's worth it in so many ways to try and try with a fully committed spirit and heart and mind.
Really, you don't have to get skinny. You just have to get OUT of obesity--being overweight may not be as bad as previously thought, though being obese is still a bad thing-- and get stronger which will be useful in daily activities and protective of health as you and I age. And keep learning. Believe you have the power to do it. Every day, tell yourself you are ABLE.
AND NEVER QUIT.
Happy Thursday. The third day of a new year. Be well...
 |
| Christmas red on toes, lower number on scale. |
It was 183.2 yesterday (see previous post), so the excess fluid from my holiday salty foods frenzy is...flowing out.
This puts me at a total loss of 118 pounds. Not my lowest number. Still out of the obese range, yay.
I don't like being in the 180s again. Not at all. My plan last year when I decided to move into MAINTENANCE had been to maintain in the 170s. Anywhere in the 170s, but preferably in the middle to lower ranges, sure. Just THAT weight "decade."
So, immediate goal is to get back into the 170s. Healthfully. With good nutrition. No crash diets. I don't care if it's slow. I don't want to end up with micronutrient deficiencies which impact a lot of my health issues.
Ultimate goal for this season (ie period from January to end of March) is to rebuild muscle, get back walking habit (at least 3x a week) and get to 171. That's 10 pounds.
I will add that losing 10 pounds is not easy for me. It's easier when one is big-big, though even for big me, losing 1 to 2 pounds a week required quite a lot of discipline. I was the laggard in Allan's challenges (though I stuck out the ones I joined to the end). So, 3.3 pounds a month --or roughly under 1 pound a week--is going to mean I have to focus a lot on my calories. Watching, adding, monitoring, curtailing. And burning some off. Though I find consumption matters more than exertion. What I eat affects the scale the most.
Exercise, though, affects how I feel and how my clothes fit. I see more muffin top with my abdominal and back muscle depleted. I hate that. But keeping muscle takes work, just as building it takes work. It doesn't happen by wishing.
The sad truth about weight for those of us who were formerly obese/morbidly obese/severely morbidly obese/super-obese is that weight comes back at alarming speed and goes down with reluctance.
Granted, some folks hold tons of water and those first weeks on a diet make for a beautifully satisfying whoosh of 7 or 10 or more pounds. Not me. I am not that level of water-hoarder. But that's mostly fluid, and the business of burning fat is always harder. And the closer to goal weights we get, that much harder. Sometimes, maddeningly hard.
I'm here to tell you maintenance is tough. I've seen a host of blogging pals drop out of sight when they couldn't keep the weight off. I don't wanna do that. I want to say, here I am, with some regain, aiming to stop it and get back in maintenance range.
A bit of advice from someone with a near-lifelong weight struggle who used blogging and online aids to finally make progress (and I hit 303 lbs on my doc's scale in 2004, for reference):
If you're big or very big and starting on your weight loss journey this year, please be accountable on your blog. BE ACCOUNTABLE. It's the main reason I began THIS blog, stopped the old one, and focused on goals and numbers and photos and self-examination and challenges.
Accountability means you put it out there and try to figure out how to solve the problems. It's hard. It's often embarrassing .
(See my Phat Pilates pics--click on tab link under the blog header-- if you want to see EMBARRASSING! It was really hard for me to post those when I was huge-huge and clumsy and sweaty in tight clothes and messed up hair.)
Don't use the blog just to wax eloquently or awkwardly about your ordinary life stuff. That won't cut it. That won't help you.
Make specific goals. DAILY GOALS. WEEKLY GOALS. MONTHLY GOALS. SEASONAL GOALS. ANNUAL GOALS. Let the community know if you met goals or failed to meet them. Examine why you can't make a breakthrough. Read. Study. Introspect. Ask folks to kick you in the butt when you grow lax. Support others as a way to support yourself, too. Sometimes, reading others doing the same things you are --good or bad--has a wonderfully motivating effect.
But weigh and plug those numbers in. Put them out there. Defuse them and make them just measures. MEASURES of lack of or wonderful progress. Don't expect 4 pounds a week (unless you're male and huge or female and huge and really active). Just make reasonable, attainable goals and, if you do not quit, if you persist, you will see progress.
One pound a week is 52 pounds a year In two years, that's 104 pounds.
One-half pound a week is 26 pounds a year, 52 pounds in two years.
Two pounds a week is 104 pounds in one year, 208 in two.
Consistency is the key. You can lose 26, regain 30. You can lose 80, regain 50. You can lose 200, regain 200.
What you want, and what I want, is to lose and keep it off.
The odds of success are slight. Google it. Very few keep off large amounts of lost weight.
So, focusing on the quickie crash diet that gets off 10 pounds in 2 weeks will leave you nowhere if you gain it back, and odds are you WILL regain it.
You have to learn what you like and what is nutritious and what contains your large appetite or urges to snack unhealthfully. You have to figure out what works for your body and, if present, medical conditions. You may need to see a dietitian. Or a doctor. You should read and educate yourself. You should visit blogs of folks who lost weight and KEPT it off for a year plus. The ones keeping it off 5 years plus. They have learned something.
 | |
| VICTORY in 2013! |
Always choose what helps, not just what feels good. What helps. What profits. What is good. What builds you up on your journey. Choose that.
It's gonna be hard. But it's worth it in so many ways to try and try with a fully committed spirit and heart and mind.
Really, you don't have to get skinny. You just have to get OUT of obesity--being overweight may not be as bad as previously thought, though being obese is still a bad thing-- and get stronger which will be useful in daily activities and protective of health as you and I age. And keep learning. Believe you have the power to do it. Every day, tell yourself you are ABLE.
AND NEVER QUIT.
Happy Thursday. The third day of a new year. Be well...
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
First Post of 2013: Accountability, Word of the Year, Photos, and Recommitment
Ah, 2012 was rough on me in its last couple months. Well, it was a bit rough from the end of June on. Less income meant the loss of my personal trainer. Illness set me back in other ways. But this is a new year, with a new word, and a recommitment to a vision to let go of what holds me back and grab hold of those habits and people and events and things that push and drive and yank me toward my goals.
So, some stats, cause accountability to me means NUMBERS, not just words.
On New Year's Eves past, I weighed thusly:;
I don't have stats kept for a lot of years, but I was in the 270s for several NY Eves prior to that.
This New Year's Eve: 182 lbs
On Dec 30, I was 178.8. A series of salty foods played havoc, so that by New Year's Day, I was 185, until I peed a couple times, then 183. So, the scale was all over the high 170s and low 180s for the end of the year.
The good news: I ended up with a net loss of ONE pound since last NY Eve. I maintained, basically. And that's fine.
The bad news: Back in the 180s and a lot of muscle loss. A LOT. I cannot tell you how easy it is to be a couch potato again and lose muscle. Very easy. Very scarily easy. And I'm ashamed of getting out of good habits. That means that this 182 lbs is fattier and less lean than last year's. Urk.
So, what habits dropped off since November when I got ill:
1. 10 glasses of water a day
2. exercising at least 5 days a week
3. praying over my day's food goals upon awaking
4. blogging to keep myself motivated
So, with 2013 seeing me at a higher weight than my lowest in 2012, I must work on--work on diligently--at getting back good water, portioning, and positive focus habits.
Accountability to me is also about photos. I posted photos last NY Eve. Here are shots from New Year's Day. We didn't dress up or leave the house NY Eve, but we got together with family yesterday. These are at me at 183 lbs on the scale--both last year's pic and this year's shots.
I love red (to wear). Cool red. Warm red. This is an orange red. Compare to me wearing an earthy red years ago:
I'm grateful for another year. My health is not as vibrant today as it was one year ago. Exercise, right foods, proper rest, lowering stress--it all has an affect on appearance. I see my face DROOPIER since 6 months ago. My loss of good habits has taken a toll in many ways.
Well, that's my accountability.
Now, for my word of the year: RELEASE
I put a pic on the left sidebar representing "release" to remind me of it anytime I check the blog.
I had "open doors" as my phrase last year, and it's interesting that my husband began to work for a company that has "Open" in the title, and that I began to open myself to a new group (new church) and new ideas (restarted writing). I am continuing my "openings" this year--and NEED to-- but RELEASE is most appropriate for various reasons that I won't get into now.
I hope you have a vision for this year. If you made goals and want to hold on. If you didn't make goals and are going to work toward them. If like me you took some steps BACKWARD and want to recoup the good things set aside.
Never quit. Find the solution. Keep going with faith in the human power to change. Persist with hope.
HAPPY NEW YEAR, my dears.
May 2013 be peaceful and blessed for us all, and may we make strides to grab hold of good things, including more healthful habits and a more vibrant life.
God bless...and be well...
So, some stats, cause accountability to me means NUMBERS, not just words.
On New Year's Eves past, I weighed thusly:;
2009: 267 lbs
2010: 234 lbs
2011: 183 lbs
I don't have stats kept for a lot of years, but I was in the 270s for several NY Eves prior to that.
This New Year's Eve: 182 lbs
On Dec 30, I was 178.8. A series of salty foods played havoc, so that by New Year's Day, I was 185, until I peed a couple times, then 183. So, the scale was all over the high 170s and low 180s for the end of the year.
The good news: I ended up with a net loss of ONE pound since last NY Eve. I maintained, basically. And that's fine.
The bad news: Back in the 180s and a lot of muscle loss. A LOT. I cannot tell you how easy it is to be a couch potato again and lose muscle. Very easy. Very scarily easy. And I'm ashamed of getting out of good habits. That means that this 182 lbs is fattier and less lean than last year's. Urk.
So, what habits dropped off since November when I got ill:
1. 10 glasses of water a day
2. exercising at least 5 days a week
3. praying over my day's food goals upon awaking
4. blogging to keep myself motivated
So, with 2013 seeing me at a higher weight than my lowest in 2012, I must work on--work on diligently--at getting back good water, portioning, and positive focus habits.
Accountability to me is also about photos. I posted photos last NY Eve. Here are shots from New Year's Day. We didn't dress up or leave the house NY Eve, but we got together with family yesterday. These are at me at 183 lbs on the scale--both last year's pic and this year's shots.
 |
| kinda fun headless shot |
 | |
| Excuse the lousy posture, hah, I was repositioning..awkwardly, clearly. |
I love red (to wear). Cool red. Warm red. This is an orange red. Compare to me wearing an earthy red years ago:
 |
| At about 80 or 90 lbs more than previous shots and next pic. |
 |
| And this is NY Eve last time, 2011, 183 lbs |
I'm grateful for another year. My health is not as vibrant today as it was one year ago. Exercise, right foods, proper rest, lowering stress--it all has an affect on appearance. I see my face DROOPIER since 6 months ago. My loss of good habits has taken a toll in many ways.
Well, that's my accountability.
Now, for my word of the year: RELEASE
I put a pic on the left sidebar representing "release" to remind me of it anytime I check the blog.
I had "open doors" as my phrase last year, and it's interesting that my husband began to work for a company that has "Open" in the title, and that I began to open myself to a new group (new church) and new ideas (restarted writing). I am continuing my "openings" this year--and NEED to-- but RELEASE is most appropriate for various reasons that I won't get into now.
I hope you have a vision for this year. If you made goals and want to hold on. If you didn't make goals and are going to work toward them. If like me you took some steps BACKWARD and want to recoup the good things set aside.
Never quit. Find the solution. Keep going with faith in the human power to change. Persist with hope.
HAPPY NEW YEAR, my dears.
May 2013 be peaceful and blessed for us all, and may we make strides to grab hold of good things, including more healthful habits and a more vibrant life.
God bless...and be well...
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
The Third Year Begins! Or..What Happens After the "Two Years To Happy Weight After"?
 | ||||
| 268--10 pounds more than when I started this blog |
 |
| 299 lbs--highest weight |
 |
| 278 pounds in 2009 |
What does this mean?
Originally, the title of this blog was "Two Years To Happy Weight After". I chose that name because I wanted to start fresh, with a new weight loss blog--the previous once was Once Upon A Diet--one that was goal-oriented, specific, and accountable. I decided I'd weigh-in weekly--publicly. I'd put up before pictures for all to see. And then the series of after pictures (as progress occurred). I gave myself two years to get out of obesity and hit goal weight of 160.
Being goal-oriented and specific helped. It really was a game-changer. No fudging or avoiding. I put it out there: what I wanted, what I'd do, what I was doing, when I was struggling, when I was sailing.
My highest weight at my home scale was 299. At the doc's scale, 303.
I began Once Upon a Diet in May of 2007 at 279 lbs.
I began this blog in September of 2010 at 258 lbs.
I am now 172.6 lbs, as of today.
I did not make 160 goal weight.
I did make and surpass my " happy weight" as defined on my previous blog, that is, 175 lbs. The weight I could live at and be happy, even if overweight.
 |
| 178 lbs |
 |
| 180 lbs |
 |
| 178 lbs May 2012 |
 |
| 172.6 lbs, today |
For the record, 160 is considered overweight of 5'6". I never aimed for skinny.
I am overweight. But I am okay with it. I don't discount trying to hit 160 still, but for now, I'm focusing on MAINTAINING.
I have good reason to take this seriously at this point.
My first post here on this blog referred to two bloggers who inspired me, both had lost a lot of weight and left obesity behind.
One is now obese again.
The other I have no idea, as the blog has gone private.
I know maintenance is hard. Do you know it? Believe it.
Most folks FAIL at it.
Whether they get to lean or just to "not obese," most fail.
So, I'm aiming to hold on, stay in the 170s. If I can find super-mojo and work on getting to 160's, amen and hallelujah. But I've lost 126 pounds and I've got a lot of odds against me. I want to win this war and, for now, that war is called Maintenance. Keeping the Pounds Off.
It's enough work for me right now.
I'm really glad I created this blog. I'm glad I joined Allan's challenges. I'm glad I hosted several challenges and was able to motivate myself and help others in the process.
I'm going to copy and paste that first post on September 3, 2010. I hope some of you out there who need to get out of morbid obesity or obesity will take heart and give yourself time. Don't focus on crash diets. I gave myself two years, and now I give myself the rest of my life to work on this. Give yourself the time you need to change your mindset.
I still have tons of work to do to reestablish and keep good habits.
If you've lost motivation, find it again. Fight for it. I plan to.
If you haven't started the journey--get prepared: Clean out the crap food from your house. Read solid books on good eating and LEARN, LEARN, LEARN. Get moving, consistently, often, even if it's a walk around your neighborhood every other day or dancing in your living room before you go to work. Go to the gym, if you can afford it. Lift heavy stuff with a video teacher, if you can't afford the gym.
Buy real food. Learn to prepare it simply and pleasantly. Watch the calories. Set a limit and stick to it. Drink water. Lots of it. Give those dangerous drive-thrus a pass. Learn what foods trigger you to eat more. Ditch them from your life.
Set goals. Specific ones. Daily ones. Weekly. Monthly. Annually. Goals with time-frames and actions steps to achieve them. Specific, concrete, real, measurable ones. Not pie in the sky vague ones. NOt, "I'll try better." But lay out what "try better" really is and how you do it, step by step.
Work on the inner issues, emotional and spiritual and mental. Get help from pros if you have serious ones.
Save money and get a trainer. Budget for some dietitian visits. See a cognitive therapist if you can't seem to get past some issues.
It's worth giving up some perks and entertainments--Starbucks, movies, a vacation trip, magazines, those brand name heels, that new electronic toy--to get healthy.
You may fall short, like me, but falling short can sometimes still mean gaining a hella lot. I'm not 300 lbs anymore. I'm not obese anymore. I feel better. I look better. Daily life is just better when health improves and limbs are more flexible and clothes fit better and you can sit in chairs in public and not worry they will break. Sex is better. Sleep is better. The camera isn't as scary.
Life is just better.
I wish you well if you're starting your journey. Believe in your ability to do it starting TODAY!
Okay, here's that first post:
Friday, September 3, 2010
DAY 1--Starting Fresh with A Clear Goal--Two years to happy weight
It occurred to me yesterday--and re-occurred yet again to me today--that I'm not terribly clear on my goals unless I'm in a challenge. Even in challenges, I tend to slack off and lose sight of stuff.
My original weight loss blog, Once Upon a Diet, began with the idea of using fairy tale/fantasy themes (as I'm an SF otaku), and in the beginning, I really tried to keep to that theme in terms of labels and ideas.
But the blog itself was vague: Once...once...that's vague.
This one will not be vague. I have kept the theme in the title--"Happy Ever Weight" as a play on "happily ever after" fairy tale endings in conjunction with fatfighter-speak of "happy weight", the weight one could live with as opposed to the ideal that may be unrealistic for many or most (because of the deprivations involved to be low medical chart weight).
I was very happy to see two fellow fatfighting bloggers reach the goals enshrined in their blog titles:
Lyn from ESCAPE FROM OBESITY blog has literally escaped: She is now merely "overweight," and no longer obese. How beautiful is that? I applaud her effort, persistence, and insightful blog posts. (Do look at her recipes, some are so numsy.) Lyn rocks and I do not doubt she will be "normal" weight before long. Congrats, Lyn.
and
Dawne, whose blog used to be called "365 Days to a New Me"...well, she did it. And she's now a new Dawne, 84 lbs lighter and looking terrific too! Do click that link and the pics of her transformation and her reflections/recap. She's retitled her blog to "It's My Time" as she begins a new year. I'm sure it's going to be even better. Dawne is a huge inspiration and her deep spiritual perspective is encouraging.
I like the idea--like it VERY much--of having a clear goal in the blog title. Whether to "escape from obesity" or become new in 365 days or... in my case here, be at a happy weight--I selected 160 lbs--2 years...I think just logging on is a reminder of what I am here to do with this blog. Get healthier by getting to a healthy weight.
I don't want it to be a fairy tale. I just want the fairy tale ending.
I will keep my old blog, Once Upon a Diet, up for reference. I have many excellent posts and reflections, if I say so myself, as well as pictures and resources. And I want to be able to look back at my own milestones. So, yes, I'm keeping it. But this is where I'll be from now on...with a clear goal in mind.
I will discuss my shorter term goals and plans in coming posts, and I will institute a weigh-in day, etc. I hope you continue to support me as you did in my previous blog. I hope you continue to follow me, if you did so before.
New beginnings...thank God we can always have them.
Blessing to you today. Let's all be renewed to our goals...
Sunday, September 2, 2012
"Hey, Fat Girl!"--and if you're a heavy person exercising in public, feeling eyes on you, read this...
Seriously, READ THIS. It's fabulous.
Read it especially if you're AFRAID to go out there and move cause you're 200, 250, 300,, 350 or plus...pounds.
I know firsthand how hard it is to move when the body is burdened with fat. I got to 300 lbs.
And I know what it's like to be morbidly obese and walk into a Pilates studio full of fit, slim folks--and in my case, MODELS, bona fide "in national magazines" models. Me, at 280 lbs, ungracefully climbing on and off equipment like a drunk turtle, huffing and puffing, oozing sweat, while sleek dancers and models elegantly "glowed" in their slim splendor and mutant beauty all around me, yeah, me with my size 4x workout wear. Yep, FOUR X. I had to mail order it, cause Sports Authority and places didn't have those sizes. (Click Phat Pilates tab up under the blog header to see some pics taken after I'd been doing Pilates a bit.)
But I did it. It took me months to work up the nerve, but my desire to get healthier overcame all shame, embarrassment, and fear.
I started walking regularly while still obese. At 240 or so pounds. It was hard. I could barely manage 10 minutes without pain in my feet and knees, without feeling a bit woozy.
But I did it.
In time, bit by bit, I could go faster and farther and longer.
And then, little by little, I got props--from the trainers, fellow exercisers, neighbors seeing me walk and get slimmer month by month, family members, my husband, who noticed I could keep up with him when we went out and had to walk blocks...and not feel like I had to sit down and gasp.
I think some small-minded folks will always ridicule those of us who are big and trying to be less big when we hit the streets or the gym. The idiots abound in every society.
But the kind folks are out there, too. Folks who will high five and thumbs-up a large person, male or female, making the effort. Folks who will give you a second wind just with a smile of approval.
I make it a point --and did back then--to encourage my fellow fatties (and I say that with empathy and affection) in our exercise efforts. A thumbs up. A smile. A word or phrase to say, "I notice you and you are fabulous."
Remember that if you're NOT big, if you're out and see a hefty person on a bike, or out for a walk or jog, or trying to work a gym machine: It takes courage for them to go and do that. On top of that courage, it's physically taxing in ways non-fat people cannot imagine. The thighs that rub hard together, the feet can overpronate. Bending over can be quite an effort, or not possible. The extra effort to just MOVE, the painful joints...all these things are obstacles one has to overcome to keep going. It takes guts to breathe hard, sweat, jiggle, and wear revealing workout wear in public.
If you haven't gone out there to MOVE out of shame or fear, I say this, and you should say it, too: Screw the idiots and screw the shame. GONNA DO IT FOR ME!
And if you're doing it: God bless you and keep at it. You're gonna feel the change.
Hey, Fat Girl. Hey, Fat Guy. Listen up. Keep moving forward. You rock!
And when I was morbidly obese and exposing myself to the eyes of dancers and models and skinny joggers in my neighborhood, I rocked. I rock when I don't let the creeps get me down. When I do it for my good and for the good of those who love me and want me to have a long life.
You're heroic, big person moving it out there where eyes can see every jiggle and limp. Keep walking, running, moving. Don't let any critics make you stop!
I bow to you, too!
Read it especially if you're AFRAID to go out there and move cause you're 200, 250, 300,, 350 or plus...pounds.
I know firsthand how hard it is to move when the body is burdened with fat. I got to 300 lbs.
And I know what it's like to be morbidly obese and walk into a Pilates studio full of fit, slim folks--and in my case, MODELS, bona fide "in national magazines" models. Me, at 280 lbs, ungracefully climbing on and off equipment like a drunk turtle, huffing and puffing, oozing sweat, while sleek dancers and models elegantly "glowed" in their slim splendor and mutant beauty all around me, yeah, me with my size 4x workout wear. Yep, FOUR X. I had to mail order it, cause Sports Authority and places didn't have those sizes. (Click Phat Pilates tab up under the blog header to see some pics taken after I'd been doing Pilates a bit.)
But I did it. It took me months to work up the nerve, but my desire to get healthier overcame all shame, embarrassment, and fear.
I started walking regularly while still obese. At 240 or so pounds. It was hard. I could barely manage 10 minutes without pain in my feet and knees, without feeling a bit woozy.
But I did it.
In time, bit by bit, I could go faster and farther and longer.
And then, little by little, I got props--from the trainers, fellow exercisers, neighbors seeing me walk and get slimmer month by month, family members, my husband, who noticed I could keep up with him when we went out and had to walk blocks...and not feel like I had to sit down and gasp.
I think some small-minded folks will always ridicule those of us who are big and trying to be less big when we hit the streets or the gym. The idiots abound in every society.
But the kind folks are out there, too. Folks who will high five and thumbs-up a large person, male or female, making the effort. Folks who will give you a second wind just with a smile of approval.
I make it a point --and did back then--to encourage my fellow fatties (and I say that with empathy and affection) in our exercise efforts. A thumbs up. A smile. A word or phrase to say, "I notice you and you are fabulous."
Remember that if you're NOT big, if you're out and see a hefty person on a bike, or out for a walk or jog, or trying to work a gym machine: It takes courage for them to go and do that. On top of that courage, it's physically taxing in ways non-fat people cannot imagine. The thighs that rub hard together, the feet can overpronate. Bending over can be quite an effort, or not possible. The extra effort to just MOVE, the painful joints...all these things are obstacles one has to overcome to keep going. It takes guts to breathe hard, sweat, jiggle, and wear revealing workout wear in public.
If you haven't gone out there to MOVE out of shame or fear, I say this, and you should say it, too: Screw the idiots and screw the shame. GONNA DO IT FOR ME!
And if you're doing it: God bless you and keep at it. You're gonna feel the change.
Hey, Fat Girl. Hey, Fat Guy. Listen up. Keep moving forward. You rock!
And when I was morbidly obese and exposing myself to the eyes of dancers and models and skinny joggers in my neighborhood, I rocked. I rock when I don't let the creeps get me down. When I do it for my good and for the good of those who love me and want me to have a long life.
You're heroic, big person moving it out there where eyes can see every jiggle and limp. Keep walking, running, moving. Don't let any critics make you stop!
I bow to you, too!
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Diet, Depression, Life Issues...and a reality check: It could be so,so,so much worse. And a very good story to prove it. And yes, a long, rambly thing to basically say...let's be good to each other....
Man, I had a seriously emotional day yesterday.
The last two days, I've had crying spells. They come, often, with these mild depressions. Crying and acne. Tells me there's a chemical thing going on, cause I haven't had acne since menopause hit, and there are zits on my chin and jaw. It's the hormonal wackiness that brings me the blues.
Interestingly, with the deep clinical depressions I've had, the suicidal ideation or "life is not worth living at all" ones, it's more a sort of mini-death of apathy and lying around and stuffing with food and books for sensation and escape, with spurts of outbursts of tears, but mostly silence.
With milder depressions, it's more ongoing low-level weepyness and thoughts of low-self worth, but I want to talk about it. To self. To God. To Hubby. Not silent like deep depressions.
It's not something I like to talk about, this weakness of mine. I hid this from friends and family for decades as best I could, because who wants to be downer? Who wants to show this pathetic side?
Well, here it is. The self-absorption of depressives is a non-pretty thing.
Depression--mild, middling, or deep-- makes us lose perspective.
When I'm depressed, I read. I read to escape. Have since childhood. To get away from body, feelings, and go somewhere else.
Yesterday, I read one of the Nebula Award nominated stories--"The Man Who Ended History: A Documentary" by Ken Liu.
The awards were announced last weekend. I'd been meaning to read the nominees since I saw the list, but, well, you know, it got put off. At first, I was taken by the physics premise --I had seen a program with an astrophysicist who discussed this particular quantum phenomenon, and I thought it would make a great premise for a story and had been pondering it myself.
But then the main part of the story took me to a very painful place.
The story takes as inspiration some really awful things that happened in China during its war with the Japanese in the 1930s. And it also takes some points from the work/life/death of Iris Chang, who wrote about the Rape of Nanking (yet another horror from that time). Do not read this story if you don't have a tolerance of sorts for the truth about what humans do.
Or maybe read it and let yourself be shredded a bit. It might be therapeutic.
I'm one of those people who took YEARS before I could watch SCHINDLER'S LIST, and then was sick for a week after, crying and having bad dreams. I remember the first time I saw a drama about the holocaust (it was on TV in the 70s and had Meryl Streep and James Woods in it, though I forget the exact name). I went and puked and had to stop watching. When I saw NICHOLAS AND ALEXANDRA as a 12 or 13 year old, I went home, fell on the floor, and just bawled. And for 2 weeks after, whenever I thought about the execution scene, I'd start bawling again.
When I read stories of child abuse or horrors in the paper, I start weeping. I sometimes can't get it out of my head for weeks. There's one man I still pray for, years later, who had been imprisoned falsely. I keep praying his life now is happy and makes up for it. When I first read about Darfur (long before the Hollywood elite got wind of it, cause charitable channels and Christian agencies were alerting folks about it), I gave, then gave again, because how could you not? When you read about famines, don't you want to send food? When you read about a disaster, don't you want to help send aid?
And when you read about atrocities, you are ashamed to be a human who whines about petty issues.
So, that's the context. I get really upset at the stuff we humans do that seems unbelievable...unthinkable.
Part of why when I was younger and before my health crashed major time, I volunteered a lot. Sometimes, it overwhelms you and you want to add some good to the stew that's this world.
Okay, so I'm mildly depressed and I read a story about the sorts of things we do to each other that will make the strongest man bawl.
I bawled. For hours. I prayed, for hours. I begged God to make us stop doing that. To not let us do it again.
I know, a naive prayer.
If you never heard of Unit 731--and I had prior to this, which hurts me even more as I'm a Japanophile--you should read it. If you never heard of the Rape of Nanking, you should inform yourself. But have a strong stomach.
Just like we should know about the Cambodian killing fields, the Holocaust, the Rwandan civil war, our own history with the natives, with Africans, with (add your own category of huge oppression). We should know it, because we have to want to NOT repeat it. And it starts with each of us. Whether it's the German Nazis, Japanese Imperialists, slave traders, Stalinists, Mao's cultural revolution, North Korea's dictators--humans are prone to become twisted in some shocking ways. You and I.
That Japanese soldier at Nanking could be...my brother, your son, your or my husband. We're made of the same thing. It's awful to contemplate that WE are capable of THAT. Me.
And it's a corrective to perspective.
When we get all worked up over what we ate or didn't exercise or the scale is up one or five pounds, it tends to look amazingly stupid in the face of REAL problems.
Allan used to do this time and again during his diet posting. Link to a mother with a sick child or a woman with a dire illness. Perspective.
Hard as it may be for some of us, dieting and exercise, it's paltry thing, a minor inconvenience, in the face of what goes on every day in the world.
Put it in perspective. Let's not whine too much about it. We do it, or we don't do it. and in the end, we can lose the proper viewpoint. Let's be healthful and live good live, because some folks can't. Let's eat properly, because some can't. Let's honor our bodies, because very easily, with a twist of fate, we could be having our bodies' honor ripped from us by men turned to beasts.
You think the folks at the World Trade Center, facing a decision to jump or die in flames, worried about being overweight? No. They wanted to be with the people they loved, living normal lives. They'd want peace.
This is a downer of a post. But read the story. Remember. Say a prayer for peace. And put the diet and exercise and scale and food thing into perspective. We are able to overcome--food and sloth and self-hate and self-destruction--and we are able to overcome the base part o fus that makes things like what are depicted in that story-based-on-truth possible. We have the ability to be BETTER. To not look down on each other, hate each other, laugh and ridicule each other, dehumanize each other. Not for being fat, or for being different in all sorts of ways.
Every blog that spews hate on dieters or anyone adds to the beast that results in killing fields. It starts small and grows big. Small words of disdain become large propaganda schemes that end up piling people into camps.
Dehumanization does this. When you stop seeing your neighbor as yourself..as the same as you. As worthy as you of respect and sympathy.
Let's not dehumanize, even in this small, minor thing that is dieting, so small in the grand scheme. Even in this, let's show mercy and love.
I read about The Transfiguration last night in two Bibles and in my devotion. That's what I want. To shine. To be the better me. We have glory inside us and glory ahead of us, if we choose it. I gotta go find my joy again, and I thank the story for slapping me with truth and perspective. I must grasp and be grateful for my life; I owe it to the ones who had theirs stolen.
Now, go be kind to someone, including yourself. Spread the good. There's never enough good.
Be well...
The last two days, I've had crying spells. They come, often, with these mild depressions. Crying and acne. Tells me there's a chemical thing going on, cause I haven't had acne since menopause hit, and there are zits on my chin and jaw. It's the hormonal wackiness that brings me the blues.
Interestingly, with the deep clinical depressions I've had, the suicidal ideation or "life is not worth living at all" ones, it's more a sort of mini-death of apathy and lying around and stuffing with food and books for sensation and escape, with spurts of outbursts of tears, but mostly silence.
With milder depressions, it's more ongoing low-level weepyness and thoughts of low-self worth, but I want to talk about it. To self. To God. To Hubby. Not silent like deep depressions.
It's not something I like to talk about, this weakness of mine. I hid this from friends and family for decades as best I could, because who wants to be downer? Who wants to show this pathetic side?
Well, here it is. The self-absorption of depressives is a non-pretty thing.
Depression--mild, middling, or deep-- makes us lose perspective.
When I'm depressed, I read. I read to escape. Have since childhood. To get away from body, feelings, and go somewhere else.
Yesterday, I read one of the Nebula Award nominated stories--"The Man Who Ended History: A Documentary" by Ken Liu.
The awards were announced last weekend. I'd been meaning to read the nominees since I saw the list, but, well, you know, it got put off. At first, I was taken by the physics premise --I had seen a program with an astrophysicist who discussed this particular quantum phenomenon, and I thought it would make a great premise for a story and had been pondering it myself.
But then the main part of the story took me to a very painful place.
The story takes as inspiration some really awful things that happened in China during its war with the Japanese in the 1930s. And it also takes some points from the work/life/death of Iris Chang, who wrote about the Rape of Nanking (yet another horror from that time). Do not read this story if you don't have a tolerance of sorts for the truth about what humans do.
Or maybe read it and let yourself be shredded a bit. It might be therapeutic.
I'm one of those people who took YEARS before I could watch SCHINDLER'S LIST, and then was sick for a week after, crying and having bad dreams. I remember the first time I saw a drama about the holocaust (it was on TV in the 70s and had Meryl Streep and James Woods in it, though I forget the exact name). I went and puked and had to stop watching. When I saw NICHOLAS AND ALEXANDRA as a 12 or 13 year old, I went home, fell on the floor, and just bawled. And for 2 weeks after, whenever I thought about the execution scene, I'd start bawling again.
When I read stories of child abuse or horrors in the paper, I start weeping. I sometimes can't get it out of my head for weeks. There's one man I still pray for, years later, who had been imprisoned falsely. I keep praying his life now is happy and makes up for it. When I first read about Darfur (long before the Hollywood elite got wind of it, cause charitable channels and Christian agencies were alerting folks about it), I gave, then gave again, because how could you not? When you read about famines, don't you want to send food? When you read about a disaster, don't you want to help send aid?
And when you read about atrocities, you are ashamed to be a human who whines about petty issues.
So, that's the context. I get really upset at the stuff we humans do that seems unbelievable...unthinkable.
Part of why when I was younger and before my health crashed major time, I volunteered a lot. Sometimes, it overwhelms you and you want to add some good to the stew that's this world.
Okay, so I'm mildly depressed and I read a story about the sorts of things we do to each other that will make the strongest man bawl.
I bawled. For hours. I prayed, for hours. I begged God to make us stop doing that. To not let us do it again.
I know, a naive prayer.
If you never heard of Unit 731--and I had prior to this, which hurts me even more as I'm a Japanophile--you should read it. If you never heard of the Rape of Nanking, you should inform yourself. But have a strong stomach.
Just like we should know about the Cambodian killing fields, the Holocaust, the Rwandan civil war, our own history with the natives, with Africans, with (add your own category of huge oppression). We should know it, because we have to want to NOT repeat it. And it starts with each of us. Whether it's the German Nazis, Japanese Imperialists, slave traders, Stalinists, Mao's cultural revolution, North Korea's dictators--humans are prone to become twisted in some shocking ways. You and I.
That Japanese soldier at Nanking could be...my brother, your son, your or my husband. We're made of the same thing. It's awful to contemplate that WE are capable of THAT. Me.
And it's a corrective to perspective.
When we get all worked up over what we ate or didn't exercise or the scale is up one or five pounds, it tends to look amazingly stupid in the face of REAL problems.
Allan used to do this time and again during his diet posting. Link to a mother with a sick child or a woman with a dire illness. Perspective.
Hard as it may be for some of us, dieting and exercise, it's paltry thing, a minor inconvenience, in the face of what goes on every day in the world.
Put it in perspective. Let's not whine too much about it. We do it, or we don't do it. and in the end, we can lose the proper viewpoint. Let's be healthful and live good live, because some folks can't. Let's eat properly, because some can't. Let's honor our bodies, because very easily, with a twist of fate, we could be having our bodies' honor ripped from us by men turned to beasts.
You think the folks at the World Trade Center, facing a decision to jump or die in flames, worried about being overweight? No. They wanted to be with the people they loved, living normal lives. They'd want peace.
This is a downer of a post. But read the story. Remember. Say a prayer for peace. And put the diet and exercise and scale and food thing into perspective. We are able to overcome--food and sloth and self-hate and self-destruction--and we are able to overcome the base part o fus that makes things like what are depicted in that story-based-on-truth possible. We have the ability to be BETTER. To not look down on each other, hate each other, laugh and ridicule each other, dehumanize each other. Not for being fat, or for being different in all sorts of ways.
Every blog that spews hate on dieters or anyone adds to the beast that results in killing fields. It starts small and grows big. Small words of disdain become large propaganda schemes that end up piling people into camps.
Dehumanization does this. When you stop seeing your neighbor as yourself..as the same as you. As worthy as you of respect and sympathy.
Let's not dehumanize, even in this small, minor thing that is dieting, so small in the grand scheme. Even in this, let's show mercy and love.
I read about The Transfiguration last night in two Bibles and in my devotion. That's what I want. To shine. To be the better me. We have glory inside us and glory ahead of us, if we choose it. I gotta go find my joy again, and I thank the story for slapping me with truth and perspective. I must grasp and be grateful for my life; I owe it to the ones who had theirs stolen.
Now, go be kind to someone, including yourself. Spread the good. There's never enough good.
Be well...
Saturday, March 31, 2012
I'm Too Old For Nasty...Really: A bit of a vent-rant..Let Love Rule, even amongst fatfighters...the fatfighting lessons in the holy days...and my Eve2Easter #13 Update
I had to remove a blog from my blogroll. I understand criticism. I understand tough love. I understand wanting to motivate. I understand wanting to offer reality slaps. I always appreciate the folks whose motive is my and our good. Our progress.
But mean and nasty and sneering superiority, that I don't need. Really, I don't. Isn't there enough of that ruining the world? That's not what this planet is in short supply of.
Sometimes, lines are crossed. I have a very long tether for this type of thing. I grew up in a tough and violent neighborhood, but was also brought up devoutly religious.So, I had to endure and do a lot of cheek-turning, and some days I had to use a knife to defend myself. It was a fine line to try to walk. Tough.
I am bi-cultural. So, I had to learn to walk that fine line. Being 'Not American" enough for some, "No Cuban" enough for others.
I try to give the benefit of the doubt. I've learned to love people who hurt me and I initially despised ...just natural, instinctual hate. I learned through prayer and empathy to really like and love some hard cases.
So, it's not like I just have no patience or endurance with that. I do try to see beyond the anger and toughness and gauge if what's at the root is a good thing. A caring thing.
I know I've typed stuff in comments that had no ill intent, then I looked back at the black and white words and thought: Hm, that came across wrong. That looks harsher than I intended. It just has the wrong tone in toneless e-words. So, I assume this happens to others--in blog posts, comments, email. We just use the wrong phraseology or type too fast and don't see how it can be misunderstood.
Hence, the long line, the full intent not to assume the worst. Words can sometimes be halting in the internet; misconstrued; phrased poorly; missing the elements of good will the writer intends; hobbled by lack of vocal tone or facial expression.
Tough love vs. abuse. Which is it?
I do try to give the benefit of the doubt and lean to believe in the former, not the latter.
But sometimes, I come to decide, "Oh, this is just nasty, down to the ground and nothing in its soul is edifying." It's not pretty to come to this conclusion. It hurts. I want to believe in the "better angel".
This happened today. I read a blog post and thought, "Wow. That's just a vomitus of mean-spiritedness and profanity with no redeeming explanation at its core or goodwill in its heart." (Or for lapbanders out there, a productive burp composed of reeking black bile.)
It wasn't aimed at me, I will clarify, but at another blogger in the fat-fighting realm; though, one day, it may easily be me being ridiculed. Who knows? People who look for targets surely find them. We are legion out here baring our imperfections in this quest for healing.
Really, there's enough pain and ugliness in the world. I'd rather not add more to it or allow any more than absolutely necessary into my life. Can't always avoid it.
So, sometimes, I gotta unlink from folks who continue to spew just unproductive, finger-pointing, ugly, ugly, ugly stuff. That kind of party is not where I wanna fest it up in these last years/decades of my life. My Lord would heartily disapprove of it, too. And really, with Holy Week coming up, I don't want to hang where Jesus would say, "This is not a place where love or honor dwells."
And then I add. "For now."
Why? Because I believe in the power of epiphanies. Of people realizing they're causing awfulness and deciding to stop, to modify, to gentle their attitudes.
I do believe in honesty and tough love, real tough love, not the fake one, not the ravening, salivating wolf in tough love clothing, that just wants to eat you up and laugh about it for fun. Not the tough love that shows up without a shred of respect, love, compassion, mercy, or understanding for the weaker lambs in the big, big fold in blogdom. To those fake "tough lovers", all the weaker ones are...are prey. All the tough talk ends up being internet snark....it's just cruelty. Without redeeming value.
Is this something you want in your bloggy experience?
I don't.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This is the next to last update. I've had a hard time for months for various reasons, some out of my control and some not. But we're still in here, fighting it. Learning. And, hopefully making progress. Next week, final pic and update. So...here's the penultimate one:
Last week:
182.2
35 in
Like the fourth straight day mildly down? Fifth? I forget. Just so happy not to see the rising numbers like before. Yep.
Still sticking to one starch a day and 1500 calories (mostly). Did two strengthening exercises and three cardio, so fell short by one cardio. Been using affirmations and lots of positive thinking to combat the stressful situation this week , and so stay out of FOOD. :D Fluids have been fine. Support of some challengers (way more than minimum).
Super-stressful situation continues, but I am not caving. Lots of praying. Taking extra C. And trying to get adequate sleep to keep the immune system hummng.
Yeah, baby. I'm chasing serenity. :D
Very little reading in my book, as I've been doing the online reading of studies
Love abounds in my household, and I like peace in my mind. I want both to abound here. If I fall short, forgive me. When I need a good kick in the pants, kick me with kindness. I always appreciate it. :D
Happy day before Palm Sunday.
If one thing is learned by this week to folks of my particular faith, is that after the worst, comes the best. You suffer, then you are reborn. You go through the bad, but a better day is coming. So, for others going through stress or trials, the better day is coming. Just keep the hope and do what is right and wise--in food, in movement, in mental attitude, in acts of kindness and support. Just keep doing what is needful and proper...and wait with good expectations. :D
Passover will soon be here for our Jewish friends, and that is also a time to remember how much good can come out of a bad place, how greatly miraculous things can happen after a time of suffering. Out of slavery, enriched, full of song, and on the way to a better land.
Whatever the trial is this week, keep your eyes open for the way out, the miracle, the power, the mentor, the wise counsel.... the better land. The new life. You may have to walk like the dickens to get there...or "die" in some metaphorical fashion...but it's there...look and see. Believe and have it.
Let's move forward. Let's be supportive on this long and difficult journey. Let's be well...
But mean and nasty and sneering superiority, that I don't need. Really, I don't. Isn't there enough of that ruining the world? That's not what this planet is in short supply of.
Sometimes, lines are crossed. I have a very long tether for this type of thing. I grew up in a tough and violent neighborhood, but was also brought up devoutly religious.So, I had to endure and do a lot of cheek-turning, and some days I had to use a knife to defend myself. It was a fine line to try to walk. Tough.
I am bi-cultural. So, I had to learn to walk that fine line. Being 'Not American" enough for some, "No Cuban" enough for others.
I try to give the benefit of the doubt. I've learned to love people who hurt me and I initially despised ...just natural, instinctual hate. I learned through prayer and empathy to really like and love some hard cases.
So, it's not like I just have no patience or endurance with that. I do try to see beyond the anger and toughness and gauge if what's at the root is a good thing. A caring thing.
I know I've typed stuff in comments that had no ill intent, then I looked back at the black and white words and thought: Hm, that came across wrong. That looks harsher than I intended. It just has the wrong tone in toneless e-words. So, I assume this happens to others--in blog posts, comments, email. We just use the wrong phraseology or type too fast and don't see how it can be misunderstood.
Hence, the long line, the full intent not to assume the worst. Words can sometimes be halting in the internet; misconstrued; phrased poorly; missing the elements of good will the writer intends; hobbled by lack of vocal tone or facial expression.
Tough love vs. abuse. Which is it?
I do try to give the benefit of the doubt and lean to believe in the former, not the latter.
But sometimes, I come to decide, "Oh, this is just nasty, down to the ground and nothing in its soul is edifying." It's not pretty to come to this conclusion. It hurts. I want to believe in the "better angel".
This happened today. I read a blog post and thought, "Wow. That's just a vomitus of mean-spiritedness and profanity with no redeeming explanation at its core or goodwill in its heart." (Or for lapbanders out there, a productive burp composed of reeking black bile.)
It wasn't aimed at me, I will clarify, but at another blogger in the fat-fighting realm; though, one day, it may easily be me being ridiculed. Who knows? People who look for targets surely find them. We are legion out here baring our imperfections in this quest for healing.
Really, there's enough pain and ugliness in the world. I'd rather not add more to it or allow any more than absolutely necessary into my life. Can't always avoid it.
So, sometimes, I gotta unlink from folks who continue to spew just unproductive, finger-pointing, ugly, ugly, ugly stuff. That kind of party is not where I wanna fest it up in these last years/decades of my life. My Lord would heartily disapprove of it, too. And really, with Holy Week coming up, I don't want to hang where Jesus would say, "This is not a place where love or honor dwells."
And then I add. "For now."
Why? Because I believe in the power of epiphanies. Of people realizing they're causing awfulness and deciding to stop, to modify, to gentle their attitudes.
I do believe in honesty and tough love, real tough love, not the fake one, not the ravening, salivating wolf in tough love clothing, that just wants to eat you up and laugh about it for fun. Not the tough love that shows up without a shred of respect, love, compassion, mercy, or understanding for the weaker lambs in the big, big fold in blogdom. To those fake "tough lovers", all the weaker ones are...are prey. All the tough talk ends up being internet snark....it's just cruelty. Without redeeming value.
Is this something you want in your bloggy experience?
I don't.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tanita-san: 179.6.Waist: 34.75 in
Last week:
182.2
35 in
Like the fourth straight day mildly down? Fifth? I forget. Just so happy not to see the rising numbers like before. Yep.
Still sticking to one starch a day and 1500 calories (mostly). Did two strengthening exercises and three cardio, so fell short by one cardio. Been using affirmations and lots of positive thinking to combat the stressful situation this week , and so stay out of FOOD. :D Fluids have been fine. Support of some challengers (way more than minimum).
Super-stressful situation continues, but I am not caving. Lots of praying. Taking extra C. And trying to get adequate sleep to keep the immune system hummng.
Yeah, baby. I'm chasing serenity. :D
Very little reading in my book, as I've been doing the online reading of studies
Love abounds in my household, and I like peace in my mind. I want both to abound here. If I fall short, forgive me. When I need a good kick in the pants, kick me with kindness. I always appreciate it. :D
Happy day before Palm Sunday.
If one thing is learned by this week to folks of my particular faith, is that after the worst, comes the best. You suffer, then you are reborn. You go through the bad, but a better day is coming. So, for others going through stress or trials, the better day is coming. Just keep the hope and do what is right and wise--in food, in movement, in mental attitude, in acts of kindness and support. Just keep doing what is needful and proper...and wait with good expectations. :D
Passover will soon be here for our Jewish friends, and that is also a time to remember how much good can come out of a bad place, how greatly miraculous things can happen after a time of suffering. Out of slavery, enriched, full of song, and on the way to a better land.
Whatever the trial is this week, keep your eyes open for the way out, the miracle, the power, the mentor, the wise counsel.... the better land. The new life. You may have to walk like the dickens to get there...or "die" in some metaphorical fashion...but it's there...look and see. Believe and have it.
Let's move forward. Let's be supportive on this long and difficult journey. Let's be well...
"The ability to discipline yourself to delay gratification in the short term in order to enjoy greater rewards in the long term is the indispensable prerequisite for success."
~~Maxwell Maltz
" For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
~~Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
Friday, February 24, 2012
It's easier to handle the blues and other less easy times in life...when you...
 |
| at Pilates session yesterday... |
And eat right.
And get rest.
And get a bit of sun.
And smile at someone.
And read encouraging and wise words.
And listen to music.
And spend time with the folks who love you.
The old advice and common sense is right. It comes down to those basics.
Just what I was thinking today. :) (And doing yesterday.)
Be well...
Thursday, February 23, 2012
A Better Day Today: A "thank you" in VLOG form...(my first vlog, woohoo)
I added some notes on YOUTUBE, cause I made flubs ("drummist", mispronounced "Nakatani", Bible note). Hey, it's one take, no editing. So, flubs are normal. Heh. I am really HUMAN, see? :)
Friday, June 24, 2011
Day 19 of 84 in the StSC: Don't feel like blogging, feel like having fun! ...Challenge Update...Knee update...Sis update...a Quote...& Go Praise someone today!
No weigh-in...nothing really interesting to say. I'm so not into blogging this week.
But I'll give it a shot....
First, lemme update a few things for the week:
~Eating is great.
~Exercise is back on, baby! I still have to be careful --I totter a bit when I walk as left knee is still not 100% with a bit of swelling remaning and those fading green blotchy bruises--but I did a 30 minute walk (very moderately paced to not reinjure) as well as a full session of Pilates. Lots of upper body work, as we still have to watch the knee, but some legwork. So nice to be able to move with no pain again, just some instability and that annoying snapping sound. Today, I want to see how I can do the push-up work. I've avoided anything that makes me either put weight on knees or lock knees....I want to get back to that goal's work.
~Water/fluids is on target.
~I've been less chatty on blogs, but I have hit some up this week to support. I also tried to be very supportive/encouraging here and the feedback tells me it did help. So, that goal met.
~Not quitting.
~Yesterday was the first day I forgot to pray for the Challengers. I really just spazzed on that one. Perhaps because my prayer time and mind were on some other things so acutely ....but back on it today.
Sis and I are patched up fine. Like I said, love overcomes all sorts of stuff, minor or major. This was in the minor category in the grand scheme of things, but hey, it's the people you love the most who can wound the most. But it's all god now and, as I firmly believe, it's better to get things out, talk, learn new stuff, and make things even better. Thanks for the well wishes on that.
This upcoming weekend in my fella's big one. He turns 51. So, I expect to be out and about spoiling him rotten. :D Don't expect to see much if any posting, other than the requisite challenge update.
I actually feel like Floridana these days. I want to be unshackled from the computer and out and about in the summer fun. Like her, my feet don't swell now. I'm less heat intolerant (though I still have issues due to some meds I take). I have more energy. I feel prettier in skimpy summer outfits. I can wear shorts without feeling like a freak. I love dining outdoors now that I eat modestly and don't stuff myself so badly I only want to go home and veg on the couch afterwards (my usual post-dinner out mentality in ye olde days, um, like a year plus ago). Now, we eat out and then walk around, shop, hit some fun spots. Much better this way. (Although I do need to always find nice restrooms as all the water/fluids mean I do need to go with more frequency than my no--adequate-watering days.)
I hope you unshackle from the puter and go have summer fun, too. :)
Anyway, was listening to Focus on the Family earlier, and a British man named Rob Parsons was giving advice for improving family life, and it was pretty darn good advice, too, said something he said about dealing with his children made me stop and jot it down:
I believe this. Well, I know that when I'm praised--be it by an online challenge leader like Allan, by my husband, by a sibling, by a boss, by a teacher--it makes me want to try harder and do better. It gives me wings. So, I hope that as you work on your fitness and weight loss progress, that you get praise. That people notice you're trying hard and spur you on. And I thank everyone who has come here and given me praise and encouragement. It keeps me going.
Praise someone's hard work at fightfating and goal-achieving today. They may really, really need it.
And if you wanna see an example of one challenger dedicating a whole post to praising a person who helped her (and this same person helped me, too), visit Julie.
Today's fightfating plan is to work on the push-ups, walk, eat at or under 1400 cals, drink my fluids, pray for the challengers, keep focused on goals, and ENJOY THE SUMMER sans aching feet and swollen ankles. ENJOY LIFE without overstuffing! ENJOY my family, without enabling bad eating!
ENJOY, period, the things I've gained after losing all this fat. Just ENJOY!
Happy weekend, fatfighter and friends. Be well...
But I'll give it a shot....
First, lemme update a few things for the week:
~Eating is great.
~Exercise is back on, baby! I still have to be careful --I totter a bit when I walk as left knee is still not 100% with a bit of swelling remaning and those fading green blotchy bruises--but I did a 30 minute walk (very moderately paced to not reinjure) as well as a full session of Pilates. Lots of upper body work, as we still have to watch the knee, but some legwork. So nice to be able to move with no pain again, just some instability and that annoying snapping sound. Today, I want to see how I can do the push-up work. I've avoided anything that makes me either put weight on knees or lock knees....I want to get back to that goal's work.
~Water/fluids is on target.
~I've been less chatty on blogs, but I have hit some up this week to support. I also tried to be very supportive/encouraging here and the feedback tells me it did help. So, that goal met.
~Not quitting.
~Yesterday was the first day I forgot to pray for the Challengers. I really just spazzed on that one. Perhaps because my prayer time and mind were on some other things so acutely ....but back on it today.
Sis and I are patched up fine. Like I said, love overcomes all sorts of stuff, minor or major. This was in the minor category in the grand scheme of things, but hey, it's the people you love the most who can wound the most. But it's all god now and, as I firmly believe, it's better to get things out, talk, learn new stuff, and make things even better. Thanks for the well wishes on that.
This upcoming weekend in my fella's big one. He turns 51. So, I expect to be out and about spoiling him rotten. :D Don't expect to see much if any posting, other than the requisite challenge update.
I actually feel like Floridana these days. I want to be unshackled from the computer and out and about in the summer fun. Like her, my feet don't swell now. I'm less heat intolerant (though I still have issues due to some meds I take). I have more energy. I feel prettier in skimpy summer outfits. I can wear shorts without feeling like a freak. I love dining outdoors now that I eat modestly and don't stuff myself so badly I only want to go home and veg on the couch afterwards (my usual post-dinner out mentality in ye olde days, um, like a year plus ago). Now, we eat out and then walk around, shop, hit some fun spots. Much better this way. (Although I do need to always find nice restrooms as all the water/fluids mean I do need to go with more frequency than my no--adequate-watering days.)
I hope you unshackle from the puter and go have summer fun, too. :)
Anyway, was listening to Focus on the Family earlier, and a British man named Rob Parsons was giving advice for improving family life, and it was pretty darn good advice, too, said something he said about dealing with his children made me stop and jot it down:
When the ear never hears praise, the heart loses the will to try.
I believe this. Well, I know that when I'm praised--be it by an online challenge leader like Allan, by my husband, by a sibling, by a boss, by a teacher--it makes me want to try harder and do better. It gives me wings. So, I hope that as you work on your fitness and weight loss progress, that you get praise. That people notice you're trying hard and spur you on. And I thank everyone who has come here and given me praise and encouragement. It keeps me going.
Praise someone's hard work at fightfating and goal-achieving today. They may really, really need it.
And if you wanna see an example of one challenger dedicating a whole post to praising a person who helped her (and this same person helped me, too), visit Julie.
Today's fightfating plan is to work on the push-ups, walk, eat at or under 1400 cals, drink my fluids, pray for the challengers, keep focused on goals, and ENJOY THE SUMMER sans aching feet and swollen ankles. ENJOY LIFE without overstuffing! ENJOY my family, without enabling bad eating!
ENJOY, period, the things I've gained after losing all this fat. Just ENJOY!
Happy weekend, fatfighter and friends. Be well...
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Day 34 of Phase 5: Sent Weigh-in Today for Challenge, Thoughts on Approaching Onederland, Appreciating the Gift of Your Family In "Hug" Range, Watching Buffy TVS Reruns, Psyching Up For WorkOut and Errands...And You and I Are Not, and Should Not Be, Alone In the Fat Fight!
Tanita-san: 217.8
I rounded that up to 218 and sent that as my challenge weigh-in early so as not to miss the deadline. I doubt I'd lose enough in ONE day to make a difference when rounding is taken into account.
And that's 1.8 pounds from one of my milestones. Go, me!
I am still astonished that I'm in the two-teens. I had wanted to be here so bad a year, two years, etc, ago. I'd see other bloggers who started out within 10 to 20 pounds of me get there and I was dithering, stuck, unable to overcome inertia, though I was mentally and physically slowly always making some sort of progress. Stuck can be a sort of fertilizing period, ya know?
But now I'm here and fewer than 20 pounds from ONEDERLAND. Oh, man. I can taste that. I really can!
It's gonna taste good. Better than chocolate...dark chocolate...Valrhona dark chocolate.
Anyway....
I will be busy tomorrow getting stuff ready for my brother's visit to our family in Cuba. I have two brothers there--I've never met them face to face since I was a baby, and I have no memory of those years--and we get stuff together to take. Vitamins, hygiene products, clothes, medicines, cash. They are the two eldest and one has serious heart disease. It's scary that he might die and I'll never have known more of him than family reminiscences, phone calls, and some letters.
I have few photos, and if my brothers walked by me on the street, I'd be hard pressed to be ABSOLUTELY sure it was them.
I never knew my grandparents. Never met any of my aunts and uncles other than the aunt who came to the US before we did. A lot of people related to me by blood that I never got to know and won't except for in the "bye and bye".
So, if you knew your grandparents, great-grandparents even, and have your relatives about you, you are blessed. Exiles, refugees, "displaced persons" --we don't often have that luxury of the extended circle of blood relations.
Hug the people around you. Remember that is a blessing.
Anyway, I'm procrastinating today. I have to workout. I have several errands to run. I'm sitting here in workout clothes doing...blogging. Hah.
Yesterday was emotionally draining and I had to switch away from CNN. I'm watching Buffy The Vampire Slayer reruns right now as I type (one of my all-time fave shows). I love how Buffy is resilient, how she doesn't give up, how imminent (and actual, for that matter) death cannot deter her. And her strength comes as part of her gift, but it's also from her character and from the strong circle of support. Her mom. Her friends (who are like extended family, they are so close). Her mentor.
Nobody can do life alone. I suppose there are those who try, but you can't. We weren't created to be solitary. We can't reproduce alone. We can't build communities alone. We'll always have a day when we get ill or old or weak or simply just lonely and need another person.
Or a hurricane, tornado, earthquake, tsunami, war, famine comes in and you realize just how much you need others to bring you water, food, clothes, shelter, comfort, hope.
Losing weight is, on its face, a thing you do yourself. But I find, and others have, that while the real work gets done inside by each person out to fight fat and externally in their environment and the outworking of strategy, we do it better with help. It's tough. It takes a long time. It takes a lifetime (to keep it off). It's not bad to need help. It's not bad to take support. It's good to give it.
So give. So take.
For those who come by and give me support, thank you. (Someone recently said they gave me a blog award. Can you link me up again? I brain froze on that one.)
And I hope my comments and posts can support you a little (or a lot), too.
Have a weekend that makes you healthier and happier and that fills your life with good things. Hug a loved one...a lot. :)
Later....
I rounded that up to 218 and sent that as my challenge weigh-in early so as not to miss the deadline. I doubt I'd lose enough in ONE day to make a difference when rounding is taken into account.
And that's 1.8 pounds from one of my milestones. Go, me!
I am still astonished that I'm in the two-teens. I had wanted to be here so bad a year, two years, etc, ago. I'd see other bloggers who started out within 10 to 20 pounds of me get there and I was dithering, stuck, unable to overcome inertia, though I was mentally and physically slowly always making some sort of progress. Stuck can be a sort of fertilizing period, ya know?
But now I'm here and fewer than 20 pounds from ONEDERLAND. Oh, man. I can taste that. I really can!
It's gonna taste good. Better than chocolate...dark chocolate...Valrhona dark chocolate.
Anyway....
I will be busy tomorrow getting stuff ready for my brother's visit to our family in Cuba. I have two brothers there--I've never met them face to face since I was a baby, and I have no memory of those years--and we get stuff together to take. Vitamins, hygiene products, clothes, medicines, cash. They are the two eldest and one has serious heart disease. It's scary that he might die and I'll never have known more of him than family reminiscences, phone calls, and some letters.
I have few photos, and if my brothers walked by me on the street, I'd be hard pressed to be ABSOLUTELY sure it was them.
I never knew my grandparents. Never met any of my aunts and uncles other than the aunt who came to the US before we did. A lot of people related to me by blood that I never got to know and won't except for in the "bye and bye".
So, if you knew your grandparents, great-grandparents even, and have your relatives about you, you are blessed. Exiles, refugees, "displaced persons" --we don't often have that luxury of the extended circle of blood relations.
Hug the people around you. Remember that is a blessing.
Anyway, I'm procrastinating today. I have to workout. I have several errands to run. I'm sitting here in workout clothes doing...blogging. Hah.
Yesterday was emotionally draining and I had to switch away from CNN. I'm watching Buffy The Vampire Slayer reruns right now as I type (one of my all-time fave shows). I love how Buffy is resilient, how she doesn't give up, how imminent (and actual, for that matter) death cannot deter her. And her strength comes as part of her gift, but it's also from her character and from the strong circle of support. Her mom. Her friends (who are like extended family, they are so close). Her mentor.
Nobody can do life alone. I suppose there are those who try, but you can't. We weren't created to be solitary. We can't reproduce alone. We can't build communities alone. We'll always have a day when we get ill or old or weak or simply just lonely and need another person.
Or a hurricane, tornado, earthquake, tsunami, war, famine comes in and you realize just how much you need others to bring you water, food, clothes, shelter, comfort, hope.
Losing weight is, on its face, a thing you do yourself. But I find, and others have, that while the real work gets done inside by each person out to fight fat and externally in their environment and the outworking of strategy, we do it better with help. It's tough. It takes a long time. It takes a lifetime (to keep it off). It's not bad to need help. It's not bad to take support. It's good to give it.
So give. So take.
For those who come by and give me support, thank you. (Someone recently said they gave me a blog award. Can you link me up again? I brain froze on that one.)
And I hope my comments and posts can support you a little (or a lot), too.
Have a weekend that makes you healthier and happier and that fills your life with good things. Hug a loved one...a lot. :)
Later....
Monday, February 7, 2011
Day 1 of Phase 5: Where I'm Still Itchy and Spotty, Where Pilates and Walking are Done, and Where I'm Liking the Phase 5 Challenger Motivation and Cheer!
It's on! It's begun. 1200 calories of balanced eating, strength and cardio exercises 6x a week, and being accountable to weigh-in once a week.
Challengers seem a lot more motivated than the previous phases. We've already started email supportive activity. Hurray!
I want to start a new blogroll with challenger blogs so I can check in now and then with my other P5 Peops. P-Fivers. :D Some time this week I'll start putting that together.
Did Pilates today. Did my walking. Knees weren't so cooperative with the jogging part. Geesh.
I've only had 450 calories (rounded) so far, so I have plenty for supper and a night snackie (I am addicted to my yogurt/fruit/nut snack). I've had more than half my water, and will have the rest before/during/after supper, and maybe leave one glass to have with my snackie.
My legs and arms and chest and hairline still have the itchy red bumps. I wore long leggings to walk just in case.
It's just the first day, and it's easy to be pumped the first day of a new challenge phase. Let's keep the momentum and faith in ourselves going. Let's see this as a good first step to lifelong habits of controlled eating and consistent movement. Let's not drop out..not a single one of us! If someone falters, let's cheer them back up. If someone slow down, let's get some wind at their back. Keep me going....and you keep going.....
Happy Monday!
Challengers seem a lot more motivated than the previous phases. We've already started email supportive activity. Hurray!
I want to start a new blogroll with challenger blogs so I can check in now and then with my other P5 Peops. P-Fivers. :D Some time this week I'll start putting that together.
Did Pilates today. Did my walking. Knees weren't so cooperative with the jogging part. Geesh.
I've only had 450 calories (rounded) so far, so I have plenty for supper and a night snackie (I am addicted to my yogurt/fruit/nut snack). I've had more than half my water, and will have the rest before/during/after supper, and maybe leave one glass to have with my snackie.
My legs and arms and chest and hairline still have the itchy red bumps. I wore long leggings to walk just in case.
It's just the first day, and it's easy to be pumped the first day of a new challenge phase. Let's keep the momentum and faith in ourselves going. Let's see this as a good first step to lifelong habits of controlled eating and consistent movement. Let's not drop out..not a single one of us! If someone falters, let's cheer them back up. If someone slow down, let's get some wind at their back. Keep me going....and you keep going.....
Happy Monday!
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Day 20 Phase 4 Challenge: Another small downtick, so weigh-in for Challenge should be my best yet! R.D. Delighted with me! A dose of deep optimism; A Lazy Saturday with NPR while Hubby Works On Book, and pretty much the only stuff you can do to help your loved ones choose to eat more healthfully when they refuse to commit....
Tanita-san: 228.8
Yesterday:
calories: 1074
exercise: rest day
hunger: very little appetite
mood: very, very good
My appointment with the R.D. went great. Her scale showed a 5 lb loss. Energy is zooming. Sleep is good. Mood is amazing. She said, "Well, my job doesn't get better than on days like this." I was pleased. Since I'm still crazy motivated, she said we could schedule the next meeting in 2 weeks, rather than one week, and then see if I only want monitoring once a month or whatever I desire.
I have never felt this "high" on a healthy eating plan. I've been steadily losing for over a 6 months, and it just seems to get better the more I try and the more I learn about my body and its needs. I'm sure there is loads more to learn, but I am feeling genuinely psyched and optimistic about goal NOT being a pipe dream..and that, in itself, is a major change. In the back of my mind, even when I mouthed optimistic affirmations, I didn't really BELIEVE THEM, not fully in my brain, and not in the depths of my heart.
I believe now.
It's cool and overcast, and hubby does his work on the 2nd edition of his textbook Saturdays early, so I put on NPR and enjoyed the last bit of Car Talk, then Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me! (My fave funny NPR program, and the "fake news" blurb about a Menudo member was so hilarious, I almost dropped my eggs wile cooking), and after some non-comedic stuff (the one old abuse, yowza, that was painful), there's the lighter/funny Says, You.
I woke up totally NOT hungry. For some folks,this is par. Not me. My appetite tends to be ready for breakfast. I looooooove breakfast. I adore having breakfast. I am eager for it.
Today, meh. Not so much. So, I chopped my veggies, got the pan ready, made my egg and egg whites very pretty, like a sombero, with the veggies embedded into the round "brim" of eggwhites and the "crown" the egg yolk. Had papaya and raspberries on the side. Great Brazilian Safira Bourbon java.
Trying to decide if I should just shoot my weigh-in to A today or wait til tomorrow? I'm always nervous I'll miss the deadline. Well, I'll think on it.
Had a long chat with my eldest sis yesterday. She's been anxious and vexed for years about the obesity of her two kids. I explained my journey a bit, and how for me, just making a bit of change, trying out stuff, learning, getting into regular exercise..it was a process, not a "fell swift" sort of thing. And that I had to learn this stuff--what goes on in my brain, what goes on in my hormones, how much I needed to cut back to lose roughly X a week, the effects of macronutrients on hunger and progress. I tried raw foods. I tried vegetarian most-days. I tried higher dieting calories. I am doing now lower dieting claories. I tried low carb, lower carb, Zone-ish carbs, High Carb/low fat. I find lower carb (not induction low, but lower than average for sure) works best for my Insulin Resistance, while allowing me the fruits and yogurt I love and the occasional whole grain I enjoy.
I said all she can do is not have crap at her house (which she does, deny it as much as she likes, she does--soda with sugar, chocolates, white crackers, and when we get together, Cuban pastries, cookies, etc). I said the only thing in her control is to control her own environment, so that when the son visits and daugher are home, and they want something, there's nothing on hand but what's healthful. If there isn't junk there, then they can't have it, unless they buy it and bring it themselves. That puts it on them, not her. She can say, "I have salad fixings and some chicken. Want some?" She can keep veggies and fresh fruit and offer that. Maybe cut it up and put it out to tempt. She can keep water front and center, not juices or sodas. She could have sugar free fudgsicles or Jell-o to offer as a "sweet treat". (I guarantee you that my niece and nephew are I.R. as well, as they have abdominal obesity and I've seen the darkening skin marker on nephew.)
I said, "That's all you can do. Be someone who refuses to stock, store, display, or offer crap."
Because, ultimately, we choose what to eat.
We can call it a craving or a preference or a stressful day or TOM or whatever, but when the food goes in the mouth, we made that choice. You can blame your mom for giving you crap growing up, but you can't blame her once you're old enough to think of yourself as more independent, your own "self", and are able to make your own meals (and by age 15 we pretty much are staking out our territory , and we could all make our own sandwiches, salads, beverages, etc, unless we're handicapped in some way.) By age 18, barring disability, you eat what you choose from what's at home. The worst choices...they're on you, not mom, not dad, not nana.
So, we hope our loved ones make better choices and spare themselves the agonies of increasing girth and limited mobility and incipient heart disease and diabetes (and heart disease and diabetes runs in their Pa's side of the family). But you cannot force. YOu can only encourage and support and NOT be a food-drug dealer.
Give your loved ones love and real loving food, which is not cakes/pies/crap. Real loving food helps them be well and live longer...
Happy Weekend, folks!
Yesterday:
calories: 1074
exercise: rest day
hunger: very little appetite
mood: very, very good
My appointment with the R.D. went great. Her scale showed a 5 lb loss. Energy is zooming. Sleep is good. Mood is amazing. She said, "Well, my job doesn't get better than on days like this." I was pleased. Since I'm still crazy motivated, she said we could schedule the next meeting in 2 weeks, rather than one week, and then see if I only want monitoring once a month or whatever I desire.
I have never felt this "high" on a healthy eating plan. I've been steadily losing for over a 6 months, and it just seems to get better the more I try and the more I learn about my body and its needs. I'm sure there is loads more to learn, but I am feeling genuinely psyched and optimistic about goal NOT being a pipe dream..and that, in itself, is a major change. In the back of my mind, even when I mouthed optimistic affirmations, I didn't really BELIEVE THEM, not fully in my brain, and not in the depths of my heart.
I believe now.
It's cool and overcast, and hubby does his work on the 2nd edition of his textbook Saturdays early, so I put on NPR and enjoyed the last bit of Car Talk, then Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me! (My fave funny NPR program, and the "fake news" blurb about a Menudo member was so hilarious, I almost dropped my eggs wile cooking), and after some non-comedic stuff (the one old abuse, yowza, that was painful), there's the lighter/funny Says, You.
I woke up totally NOT hungry. For some folks,this is par. Not me. My appetite tends to be ready for breakfast. I looooooove breakfast. I adore having breakfast. I am eager for it.
Today, meh. Not so much. So, I chopped my veggies, got the pan ready, made my egg and egg whites very pretty, like a sombero, with the veggies embedded into the round "brim" of eggwhites and the "crown" the egg yolk. Had papaya and raspberries on the side. Great Brazilian Safira Bourbon java.
Trying to decide if I should just shoot my weigh-in to A today or wait til tomorrow? I'm always nervous I'll miss the deadline. Well, I'll think on it.
Had a long chat with my eldest sis yesterday. She's been anxious and vexed for years about the obesity of her two kids. I explained my journey a bit, and how for me, just making a bit of change, trying out stuff, learning, getting into regular exercise..it was a process, not a "fell swift" sort of thing. And that I had to learn this stuff--what goes on in my brain, what goes on in my hormones, how much I needed to cut back to lose roughly X a week, the effects of macronutrients on hunger and progress. I tried raw foods. I tried vegetarian most-days. I tried higher dieting calories. I am doing now lower dieting claories. I tried low carb, lower carb, Zone-ish carbs, High Carb/low fat. I find lower carb (not induction low, but lower than average for sure) works best for my Insulin Resistance, while allowing me the fruits and yogurt I love and the occasional whole grain I enjoy.
I said all she can do is not have crap at her house (which she does, deny it as much as she likes, she does--soda with sugar, chocolates, white crackers, and when we get together, Cuban pastries, cookies, etc). I said the only thing in her control is to control her own environment, so that when the son visits and daugher are home, and they want something, there's nothing on hand but what's healthful. If there isn't junk there, then they can't have it, unless they buy it and bring it themselves. That puts it on them, not her. She can say, "I have salad fixings and some chicken. Want some?" She can keep veggies and fresh fruit and offer that. Maybe cut it up and put it out to tempt. She can keep water front and center, not juices or sodas. She could have sugar free fudgsicles or Jell-o to offer as a "sweet treat". (I guarantee you that my niece and nephew are I.R. as well, as they have abdominal obesity and I've seen the darkening skin marker on nephew.)
I said, "That's all you can do. Be someone who refuses to stock, store, display, or offer crap."
Because, ultimately, we choose what to eat.
We can call it a craving or a preference or a stressful day or TOM or whatever, but when the food goes in the mouth, we made that choice. You can blame your mom for giving you crap growing up, but you can't blame her once you're old enough to think of yourself as more independent, your own "self", and are able to make your own meals (and by age 15 we pretty much are staking out our territory , and we could all make our own sandwiches, salads, beverages, etc, unless we're handicapped in some way.) By age 18, barring disability, you eat what you choose from what's at home. The worst choices...they're on you, not mom, not dad, not nana.
So, we hope our loved ones make better choices and spare themselves the agonies of increasing girth and limited mobility and incipient heart disease and diabetes (and heart disease and diabetes runs in their Pa's side of the family). But you cannot force. YOu can only encourage and support and NOT be a food-drug dealer.
Give your loved ones love and real loving food, which is not cakes/pies/crap. Real loving food helps them be well and live longer...
Happy Weekend, folks!
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
Day 2 of P4 DDDY Challenge: Where I Get A Wonderfully Surprising Award and My Dorky Aesop's Fable Analogy, the Absolute Need to BELIEVE YOU CAN Do IT, The Faith of Others as Motivation, Some Key Points from a Book on Procrastination, and Where I am Not Freaking..Yay! And Finally: Feeling your Quads and Glutes Yet? Heh...
LOOKEE WHAT I GOT:
Now, I've gotten nice bloggy awards before, both on Once Upon a Diet (my original weight loss blog that I created in May of 2007) and this one. Always nice when someone gives you a goodie like that, isn't it?
But I will be honest. Allan's award is the most astonishing one, cause, well, as I said in my comment on his post today, I've always fallen in the "average" or "below average" loss category during the weekly weigh-ins. Mostly I'd hit EXACTLY the average for the week. Even eating great and exercising, I was never one of the stellar losers. And, another bit of honesty, I never expected to be one of the stellar losers. My body doesn't churn out the caloric burn and lose fat as deftly as I would wish.
Coming in 7th on the list--that makes me nearly pee my pants with shock and awe. Oh, that's not the award, sorry. that's just the breakfast water asking me to go to the bathroom. Be back in a minute....
...back!
As I note in the sidebar where I posted this award, it proves the lesson of the fable about the hare and the tortoise. If you're one of the turtle-y ones, as long as you stay in the race and don't give up, you will add up the yards towards the goal. As long as you just HANG THE HELL IN THERE, you will make progress. You won't win against the hares that also hang in there (ahem, Ann), but you don't have to. You only have to win your own race. Every weight loss journey is totally individual. You are always racing alone. It's just you and your fat. You want to win it, even if you don't win it before all the snazzy, dazzling hares. (Ahem, Kimberly).
Some bodies are metabolically more charged. Some dieters choose foods and caloric levels more wisely. Some exercise more consistently and ardently. Some have health issues and others are healthy babes.
Just run your race and run it with an eye to that prize. Run it to finish. But run it undauntedly.
Believe you can run it.
For the longest time, honestly, truthfully, I did not believe I could do it. Even Allan must have gotten annoyed by my lack of faith and self-confidence in comments and emails. Geez! When I think of my dithering about joining Phase 4. I was afraid. I felt inadequate. I did not believe in my ability to do it. Just like for years I did not believe I could stick to a plan--and I did NOT stick to any plan for long. And I always regained, with added pounds.
Little by little, since May 2007, little bit here, little bit there, I started acquiring some self-confidence. It didn't bloom, really bloom, until I started this new blog and joined the challenges. Succeeding at the weekly goals, then monthly goals, has boosted my self-confidence about getting the fat off. This has been the number one benefit of these short-term challenges. BELIEVING I CAN DO IT!
I am no dynamo of self-esteem or self-confidence. I spent most of my life being my own biggest obstacle, since childhood. But I am fully convinced that until we really start to believe in our ability to overcome food addiction, obsession, conditioned overeating, etc, we cannot get to a healthy weight and STAY THERE. (Staying there is key, as who wants to do all this work to ultimately be back in Fatland.)
So, if you've always failed before...consider a challenge. Consider one that is simple and starts of gently (like Allan's) and works up to more dedication. Increments work. I would not have conceived doing Phase 4 had I not done Phases 1, 2, and 3. Each gave me that step up I needed in self-faith.
I am reading a book called THE PROCRASTINATION EQUATION. I have found that books that deal with things like changing habits are as valuable, if not more, than diet books at this point. I downloaded it to my Nook Color (whoo, so cool) yesterday, and am only slightly into it, but it addresses the core issue at the heart of procrastination (and I am a champion procrastinator) as impulsivity. Think of how our impulsivity--the pleasure now, the pay-off now of food versus the pay-off THEN of normal weight--plays into our obesity. We want that PIZZA NOW! Pizza now sounds better than slim body 8 months, a year, 2 years away. Cake now sounds nicer than 5 pounds off by month's end. Pleasure NOW rather than pleasure THEN.
And he also addresses one basic issue in procrastination: lower expectations. We don't think we CAN GET RESULTS...we think we will fail. We self-sabotage by putting off the actions that lead to success, because we don't BELIEVE in success.
So, yes: Believe in success. Value a healthy and slim body A YEAR DOWN THE ROAD (or less, or more) rather than the feast NOW. Look at the big plate of fatty or trigger foods and think: Do I want this more than I want to lose a pound this week? If your answer is yes, you eat it. If your answer is no, you throw it away.
Do the steps you need to in order to place a higher value on the HEALTHY BODY down the road. Be it May1, 2011 or December 31, 2011, or September 3, 2012 (see my original blog post, hah). Place a really high value on THAT, not on the burrito or lasagna or cookies.
See, I'm not freaking yet. I thought I would, cause, well, that whole lack of self-confidence and lowerered expectations.
But I chose to believe Allan and Debbi and Kimberly and Ann and other 1200 calorie eaters in this Phase 4 Challenge, those who said fervently that is was DOABLE and that *I* could do it.
When I didn't believe in myself completely, I chose to believe THEIR belief in me until my own self-confidence kicked in.
It has kicked in now on day 2. I have decided that I can do it. I have chosen faith and the value of my May 1, 2011 healthier body.
Choose wisely today.
And don't freak when you do. :D
Challenge Breakfast: I again selected the egg white/Ezekiel toast/skim milk, but added the fruit to the milk to make a cinnamon/banana/milk smoothie (yum). Coffee. Water. All under 300 cals.
Edited to Add: About now, those of you who did your squats/lunges should be feeling your muscles all sore from those tough babies. I woke up sore in my abs--all of them, lower, upper, obliques from Pilates--and my thighs and butt from the squats and lunge alternate exercises (the Princess cannot lunge in classic form, sorry, just can't). My triceps and shoulders are also sore from some upper body work. It's nice to be sore. Means you burned calories and that you're BUILDING MUSCLE! Feel your body good protein to build up that muscle!
Snack: string cheese nuked lightly with 1 tsp of of pasta sauce to make it taste pizzaey. Water.
Lunch: turkey sandwich with lettuce/spinach/cucumbers/tomato/mustard ; decaf; water
snack: lowfat yogurt
dinner: (leftovers, so same as yesterday) chicken/rice n beans/asparagus
The only difference was I made a nice dijon mustard mixed with white wine vinegar and lemon juice no-fat dressing to put on the asparagus.
Not hungry after dinner today, so skipped last snack.
Total calories: 1019 and all water downed.
Now, I've gotten nice bloggy awards before, both on Once Upon a Diet (my original weight loss blog that I created in May of 2007) and this one. Always nice when someone gives you a goodie like that, isn't it?
But I will be honest. Allan's award is the most astonishing one, cause, well, as I said in my comment on his post today, I've always fallen in the "average" or "below average" loss category during the weekly weigh-ins. Mostly I'd hit EXACTLY the average for the week. Even eating great and exercising, I was never one of the stellar losers. And, another bit of honesty, I never expected to be one of the stellar losers. My body doesn't churn out the caloric burn and lose fat as deftly as I would wish.
Coming in 7th on the list--that makes me nearly pee my pants with shock and awe. Oh, that's not the award, sorry. that's just the breakfast water asking me to go to the bathroom. Be back in a minute....
...back!
As I note in the sidebar where I posted this award, it proves the lesson of the fable about the hare and the tortoise. If you're one of the turtle-y ones, as long as you stay in the race and don't give up, you will add up the yards towards the goal. As long as you just HANG THE HELL IN THERE, you will make progress. You won't win against the hares that also hang in there (ahem, Ann), but you don't have to. You only have to win your own race. Every weight loss journey is totally individual. You are always racing alone. It's just you and your fat. You want to win it, even if you don't win it before all the snazzy, dazzling hares. (Ahem, Kimberly).
Some bodies are metabolically more charged. Some dieters choose foods and caloric levels more wisely. Some exercise more consistently and ardently. Some have health issues and others are healthy babes.
Just run your race and run it with an eye to that prize. Run it to finish. But run it undauntedly.
Believe you can run it.
For the longest time, honestly, truthfully, I did not believe I could do it. Even Allan must have gotten annoyed by my lack of faith and self-confidence in comments and emails. Geez! When I think of my dithering about joining Phase 4. I was afraid. I felt inadequate. I did not believe in my ability to do it. Just like for years I did not believe I could stick to a plan--and I did NOT stick to any plan for long. And I always regained, with added pounds.
Little by little, since May 2007, little bit here, little bit there, I started acquiring some self-confidence. It didn't bloom, really bloom, until I started this new blog and joined the challenges. Succeeding at the weekly goals, then monthly goals, has boosted my self-confidence about getting the fat off. This has been the number one benefit of these short-term challenges. BELIEVING I CAN DO IT!
I am no dynamo of self-esteem or self-confidence. I spent most of my life being my own biggest obstacle, since childhood. But I am fully convinced that until we really start to believe in our ability to overcome food addiction, obsession, conditioned overeating, etc, we cannot get to a healthy weight and STAY THERE. (Staying there is key, as who wants to do all this work to ultimately be back in Fatland.)
So, if you've always failed before...consider a challenge. Consider one that is simple and starts of gently (like Allan's) and works up to more dedication. Increments work. I would not have conceived doing Phase 4 had I not done Phases 1, 2, and 3. Each gave me that step up I needed in self-faith.
I am reading a book called THE PROCRASTINATION EQUATION. I have found that books that deal with things like changing habits are as valuable, if not more, than diet books at this point. I downloaded it to my Nook Color (whoo, so cool) yesterday, and am only slightly into it, but it addresses the core issue at the heart of procrastination (and I am a champion procrastinator) as impulsivity. Think of how our impulsivity--the pleasure now, the pay-off now of food versus the pay-off THEN of normal weight--plays into our obesity. We want that PIZZA NOW! Pizza now sounds better than slim body 8 months, a year, 2 years away. Cake now sounds nicer than 5 pounds off by month's end. Pleasure NOW rather than pleasure THEN.
And he also addresses one basic issue in procrastination: lower expectations. We don't think we CAN GET RESULTS...we think we will fail. We self-sabotage by putting off the actions that lead to success, because we don't BELIEVE in success.
So, yes: Believe in success. Value a healthy and slim body A YEAR DOWN THE ROAD (or less, or more) rather than the feast NOW. Look at the big plate of fatty or trigger foods and think: Do I want this more than I want to lose a pound this week? If your answer is yes, you eat it. If your answer is no, you throw it away.
Do the steps you need to in order to place a higher value on the HEALTHY BODY down the road. Be it May1, 2011 or December 31, 2011, or September 3, 2012 (see my original blog post, hah). Place a really high value on THAT, not on the burrito or lasagna or cookies.
See, I'm not freaking yet. I thought I would, cause, well, that whole lack of self-confidence and lowerered expectations.
But I chose to believe Allan and Debbi and Kimberly and Ann and other 1200 calorie eaters in this Phase 4 Challenge, those who said fervently that is was DOABLE and that *I* could do it.
When I didn't believe in myself completely, I chose to believe THEIR belief in me until my own self-confidence kicked in.
It has kicked in now on day 2. I have decided that I can do it. I have chosen faith and the value of my May 1, 2011 healthier body.
Choose wisely today.
And don't freak when you do. :D
Challenge Breakfast: I again selected the egg white/Ezekiel toast/skim milk, but added the fruit to the milk to make a cinnamon/banana/milk smoothie (yum). Coffee. Water. All under 300 cals.
Edited to Add: About now, those of you who did your squats/lunges should be feeling your muscles all sore from those tough babies. I woke up sore in my abs--all of them, lower, upper, obliques from Pilates--and my thighs and butt from the squats and lunge alternate exercises (the Princess cannot lunge in classic form, sorry, just can't). My triceps and shoulders are also sore from some upper body work. It's nice to be sore. Means you burned calories and that you're BUILDING MUSCLE! Feel your body good protein to build up that muscle!
Snack: string cheese nuked lightly with 1 tsp of of pasta sauce to make it taste pizzaey. Water.
Lunch: turkey sandwich with lettuce/spinach/cucumbers/tomato/mustard ; decaf; water
snack: lowfat yogurt
dinner: (leftovers, so same as yesterday) chicken/rice n beans/asparagus
The only difference was I made a nice dijon mustard mixed with white wine vinegar and lemon juice no-fat dressing to put on the asparagus.
Not hungry after dinner today, so skipped last snack.
Total calories: 1019 and all water downed.
Friday, December 31, 2010
Face the Truth Friday: The Last Friday of 2010 and the Single Main Truth of Weight Loss; the True Friends of a Fat-fighting Blogger; A Medication to Look Into if You have Hypothyroidism and Mood Issues; and the Books that Helped Me "Flip the Switch" and Get Diet-Serious...
Scale Truth: 233.8
Diet Truth: To lose weight you need to eat fewer calories than your body burns.
You and I need to EAT less than the body actually needs to function within a span (of a day, a week) in order to burn fat and lose weight.
I get really frustrated with myself when I make excuses for my own sloth and gluttony--so feel free to slap me a bit, with love, when I do. So, you can imagine that I also get frustrated when fellow bloggers do the same.
We all reach our place of readiness to change differently in different ways and times. It's often a MYSTERY! Why? Why now?
I"m 50. Took me a friggen long time to actually FEEL like I COULD DO IT. Previously, it was small attempts that showed quick regains. Depression continually harrassed my efforts. I have a multitude of excuses--menopause, anxiety disorder, depression, hypothyroidism, two medications that open up appetite. All true.
But the fact remains that even for someone as metabolically messed up as me, if I eat less than my body burns, I lose weight. I may lose slower than some other stellar bloggers, but I do lose. Slowly, in my way, I lose if I eat low-calorically.
One thing gastric bypass and other WL surgeries proved is that ANYONE can lose weight with lower caloric intake. Even people who claimed they could not....could.
Studies show people underestimate what they eat. We forget the spoonful of this, the sip of that. We forget the forkful from hubby's plate. The nibble of cheese. We eat 3/4 cup of rice and say it was 1/3 cup. We eat 8 ounces of meat and think it was 4 ounces.
We fool ourselves.
And we say we're dieting or on a plan, and then eat what we want.
We do all sorts of self-sabotaging things because:
1. we're not really ready
2. we want to be ready
3. we keep thinking it will happen with less effort
Well, all those described ME. Do they describe you?
I totally understand--I personally went through and KNOW--that it takes a while for switches to flip in some of us. Some of us decide to lose weight and just do it (like my sis). Some of us just can't seem to get over the food thing. We start each day with the best intentions and then go downhill as the hours pass.
But all the blogging desire in the world won't make the fat go. Only eating less.
Well, I could add move a lot more, but I know you can lose weight with just eating less more easily than becoming a marathoner. I've never seen a fat committed marathoner (people running lots of miles a day). But I don't move anywhere near that much and don't plan to. It's easier to cut out dessert and eat half or a third of what I used to than exercising 4 hours a day.
If you're blogging to get that flip switched: Yes, do that. Keep in the game. Persevere. Sometimes, just staying IN THE DESIRE, IN THE MINDSET, finally gets the mojo going.
For me, 3 years of mostly dithering in a diet blog (http://onceuponadiet.blogspot.com) is what kept me from going back to 300 pounds. It got me down to the 260's (20 pounds and change loss in 3 years...how slow can one get?) while my brain and spirit got to the point of becoming serious about change.
Why so long? Yes, partly the depression. Partly the health issues. Mostly the commitment.
To a foodie, to a chronic overeater, to a binger, knowing that you have much less food to run to daily is scary. It is. Admit it already.
Self-sacrifice is scary. And giving up our calming, cheering, comforting food is terrifying.
But you have to let it go. Let the desire for health (or beauty or flexibility or better sex or more fashionable clothes or all of them) be greater than the desire for the pizzas, burgers, enchiladas, cakes, cookies, ice cream, mac n cheese, etc. Let the desire for virtue (gluttony is a sin, folks, if you're a religious person) be greater than the sin of food avarice. Of obssession with eating.
I fear every day that the binge-monster will rear its head. Every day I wake up and tell myself I'm in a war and I want to win.
I'm in a fight for my life, and I want to win.
I'm in a fight for my food sanity, and I want to win.
2011. Is this the year we win?
Let's make it the year gluttony bites the dust.
If you're blogging and in a rut and can't seem to move beyond the food, can't stop the scale from climbing, do what it takes to stop the climb or inertia: Read a lot of books on self-control, change, diets, for the inspiration factor. Read blogs of successful dieters. Do not make a habit of visiting the ones that ARE NOT MAKING PROGRESS except to drop a quick encouragement and move on. Seriously. If weight loss bloggers are not losing weight or grappling in a way that is beneficial (everyone goes through bad spells, but some bloggers teach us great things in those bad spells), don't linger. They may make you feel good about your own lack of progress, but they do nothing to spur you on.
Seek the motivating. Put up motivational posters and saying. Get motivational computer wallpapers. Sign up for motivational emails.
Ask people to keep you accountable, even if it means verbally slapping you, rather than just patting your back when you gorge on trigger foods. People who JUST pat your self-destructive behavior ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS. Sorry. Commisseration is fine, but then it should be followed by a: "Do better. Pick yourself up and DO BETTER." Don't wallow. People who allow you to wallow are NOT helping you.
I love you guys who come here and remind me that I can do the hard work, that food is not stronger than me. Who will tell me if I slip up to get back on the fricken diet horse and kick caloric ass. The one who doesn't care if I wallow in my fat is an enemy. The one who helps me out of my fat pit is a friend. See Proverbs 27:6 for the encapsulation of my philosophy.
If someone speaks less than tactfully to me, but ultimately helps me with that tactlessness, they are more of a friend than the sweet-worded person who does nothing to aid me in my quest for health. Which would you prefer: The loud and gruff general who makes sure you survive the war and win for your allies, or the gentle and kind general who gives you no vigor and does nothing to arm you and prepare you and push you to the front lines to win?
Don't tell me it's okay when I overeat. Tell me I'm human, and humans can learn and do better.
As the year closes, here are books you should read if you are in a rut, stuck, can't make the leap above food. They helped me more than any other books this year:
THE END OF OVEREATING: Taking Control of the Insatiable American Appetite by David Kessler
SWITCH: How to Change Things When Change is Hard by Chip Heath and Dan Heath
If they help you, too, then drop me a note. I'll feel good knowing it.
Because one of the reviewers said the treatment of GLUTTONY (the vice/sin) is well done, this is the next book I want to get:
Glittering Vices: A New Look at the Seven Deadly Sins and Their Remedies
Until then, I'll reread Frederica Mathewes-Green (She's an Orthodox believer and one of my fave "faith" writers): To Hell on a Cream Puff :
And here's a book someone recommended I just got by "royal mail" today--yes, I ordered it from England, cause I'm serious about losing this fat, people: EATING LESS: Say Goodbye to Overeating. It's by Gillian Riley. Whether it will help me or not, dunno. But someone I like quite a lot and whom I respect for her amazing loss this year recommended it on her blog, and that's enough for me.
And if you have hypothyroidism (I have Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, have had it for 20 years) and are on Synthroid or Levoxyl, strongly suggest you research and ask your endo about Cytomel in conjunction. It's made a huuuuge difference for me mood-wise and in terms of energy. I suspected I was not converting properly. Since a few weeks after taking it, I felt the difference. Ask your doc! Research it! Google it! Don't ask me for the research. Find it. :D
Happy New Year, to the fat and to the thin and to the in-betweeners. Let's all be well!
Diet Truth: To lose weight you need to eat fewer calories than your body burns.
You and I need to EAT less than the body actually needs to function within a span (of a day, a week) in order to burn fat and lose weight.
I get really frustrated with myself when I make excuses for my own sloth and gluttony--so feel free to slap me a bit, with love, when I do. So, you can imagine that I also get frustrated when fellow bloggers do the same.
We all reach our place of readiness to change differently in different ways and times. It's often a MYSTERY! Why? Why now?
I"m 50. Took me a friggen long time to actually FEEL like I COULD DO IT. Previously, it was small attempts that showed quick regains. Depression continually harrassed my efforts. I have a multitude of excuses--menopause, anxiety disorder, depression, hypothyroidism, two medications that open up appetite. All true.
But the fact remains that even for someone as metabolically messed up as me, if I eat less than my body burns, I lose weight. I may lose slower than some other stellar bloggers, but I do lose. Slowly, in my way, I lose if I eat low-calorically.
One thing gastric bypass and other WL surgeries proved is that ANYONE can lose weight with lower caloric intake. Even people who claimed they could not....could.
Studies show people underestimate what they eat. We forget the spoonful of this, the sip of that. We forget the forkful from hubby's plate. The nibble of cheese. We eat 3/4 cup of rice and say it was 1/3 cup. We eat 8 ounces of meat and think it was 4 ounces.
We fool ourselves.
And we say we're dieting or on a plan, and then eat what we want.
We do all sorts of self-sabotaging things because:
1. we're not really ready
2. we want to be ready
3. we keep thinking it will happen with less effort
Well, all those described ME. Do they describe you?
I totally understand--I personally went through and KNOW--that it takes a while for switches to flip in some of us. Some of us decide to lose weight and just do it (like my sis). Some of us just can't seem to get over the food thing. We start each day with the best intentions and then go downhill as the hours pass.
But all the blogging desire in the world won't make the fat go. Only eating less.
Well, I could add move a lot more, but I know you can lose weight with just eating less more easily than becoming a marathoner. I've never seen a fat committed marathoner (people running lots of miles a day). But I don't move anywhere near that much and don't plan to. It's easier to cut out dessert and eat half or a third of what I used to than exercising 4 hours a day.
If you're blogging to get that flip switched: Yes, do that. Keep in the game. Persevere. Sometimes, just staying IN THE DESIRE, IN THE MINDSET, finally gets the mojo going.
For me, 3 years of mostly dithering in a diet blog (http://onceuponadiet.blogspot.com) is what kept me from going back to 300 pounds. It got me down to the 260's (20 pounds and change loss in 3 years...how slow can one get?) while my brain and spirit got to the point of becoming serious about change.
Why so long? Yes, partly the depression. Partly the health issues. Mostly the commitment.
To a foodie, to a chronic overeater, to a binger, knowing that you have much less food to run to daily is scary. It is. Admit it already.
Self-sacrifice is scary. And giving up our calming, cheering, comforting food is terrifying.
But you have to let it go. Let the desire for health (or beauty or flexibility or better sex or more fashionable clothes or all of them) be greater than the desire for the pizzas, burgers, enchiladas, cakes, cookies, ice cream, mac n cheese, etc. Let the desire for virtue (gluttony is a sin, folks, if you're a religious person) be greater than the sin of food avarice. Of obssession with eating.
I fear every day that the binge-monster will rear its head. Every day I wake up and tell myself I'm in a war and I want to win.
I'm in a fight for my life, and I want to win.
I'm in a fight for my food sanity, and I want to win.
2011. Is this the year we win?
Let's make it the year gluttony bites the dust.
If you're blogging and in a rut and can't seem to move beyond the food, can't stop the scale from climbing, do what it takes to stop the climb or inertia: Read a lot of books on self-control, change, diets, for the inspiration factor. Read blogs of successful dieters. Do not make a habit of visiting the ones that ARE NOT MAKING PROGRESS except to drop a quick encouragement and move on. Seriously. If weight loss bloggers are not losing weight or grappling in a way that is beneficial (everyone goes through bad spells, but some bloggers teach us great things in those bad spells), don't linger. They may make you feel good about your own lack of progress, but they do nothing to spur you on.
Seek the motivating. Put up motivational posters and saying. Get motivational computer wallpapers. Sign up for motivational emails.
Ask people to keep you accountable, even if it means verbally slapping you, rather than just patting your back when you gorge on trigger foods. People who JUST pat your self-destructive behavior ARE NOT YOUR FRIENDS. Sorry. Commisseration is fine, but then it should be followed by a: "Do better. Pick yourself up and DO BETTER." Don't wallow. People who allow you to wallow are NOT helping you.
I love you guys who come here and remind me that I can do the hard work, that food is not stronger than me. Who will tell me if I slip up to get back on the fricken diet horse and kick caloric ass. The one who doesn't care if I wallow in my fat is an enemy. The one who helps me out of my fat pit is a friend. See Proverbs 27:6 for the encapsulation of my philosophy.
If someone speaks less than tactfully to me, but ultimately helps me with that tactlessness, they are more of a friend than the sweet-worded person who does nothing to aid me in my quest for health. Which would you prefer: The loud and gruff general who makes sure you survive the war and win for your allies, or the gentle and kind general who gives you no vigor and does nothing to arm you and prepare you and push you to the front lines to win?
Don't tell me it's okay when I overeat. Tell me I'm human, and humans can learn and do better.
As the year closes, here are books you should read if you are in a rut, stuck, can't make the leap above food. They helped me more than any other books this year:
THE END OF OVEREATING: Taking Control of the Insatiable American Appetite by David Kessler
SWITCH: How to Change Things When Change is Hard by Chip Heath and Dan Heath
If they help you, too, then drop me a note. I'll feel good knowing it.
Because one of the reviewers said the treatment of GLUTTONY (the vice/sin) is well done, this is the next book I want to get:
Glittering Vices: A New Look at the Seven Deadly Sins and Their Remedies
Until then, I'll reread Frederica Mathewes-Green (She's an Orthodox believer and one of my fave "faith" writers): To Hell on a Cream Puff :
But gluttony is not about pleasing plumpness; our inclination to associate it with external effects alone shows how reluctant we are to confront the sin-in-the-heart. The impulse to gluttony is a sign of being out of harmony with God’s provision and creation, and can disrupt the spiritual lives of people of every size. External dimensions are no predictor of internal rebellion.
Previous generations of Christians knew this. Overindulgence in food didn’t just lead to thickened waistlines and arteries; it led to spiritual disaster.
And here's a book someone recommended I just got by "royal mail" today--yes, I ordered it from England, cause I'm serious about losing this fat, people: EATING LESS: Say Goodbye to Overeating. It's by Gillian Riley. Whether it will help me or not, dunno. But someone I like quite a lot and whom I respect for her amazing loss this year recommended it on her blog, and that's enough for me.
And if you have hypothyroidism (I have Hashimoto's Thyroiditis, have had it for 20 years) and are on Synthroid or Levoxyl, strongly suggest you research and ask your endo about Cytomel in conjunction. It's made a huuuuge difference for me mood-wise and in terms of energy. I suspected I was not converting properly. Since a few weeks after taking it, I felt the difference. Ask your doc! Research it! Google it! Don't ask me for the research. Find it. :D
Happy New Year, to the fat and to the thin and to the in-betweeners. Let's all be well!
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