People Talking About Cheat Days, huh? Maybe they don't have conditioned hypereating, huh?

THE END OF OVEREATING, which is a great read and is doing some serious paradigm shifting stuff to my brain, methinks, comes down pretty hard on cheat days. The author, as I recall, doesn't so much call it that. He's too fricken scientific. :)

No, it's more about the whole cues/urge/food/reward thing we're wired for. If we indulge in those cheat foods, it can set back weeks and weeks of rehabituating the brain and lessening the pull of trigger foods (usually some combo, worse a trio, of salt, fat and sugar--like, well, most of the menus of popular places like Chilis or McD's or TGIF and Pizza Hut, etc.)

For anyone who wants to try cheat days, I suggest you read that book--every fat person should, frankly--just so you understand why it MAY not be a good idea.

I say "may" cause some people do fine. Usually--the way I've noticed, anyway-- those folks don't do cheat days. They don't go out of control. They do cheat meals (fave food item and sides in normal portions) or one cheat meal ITEM. Like having a cup of mashed potato with butter they denied themselves all month. Or a small slice of cake added to an otherwise controlled meal. And these people account for the cheat by cutting back in the days before or after or both. Calories always have to be accounted for, after all.

If the calories are allocated, and the cheat food or meals don't set you back in terms of control (by reopening the trigger/appetite/cue-reward cycle), then sure, you're okay doing it.

But I do think anyone who wants to do full out cheat days/big cheat meals (as opposed to a cheat item or cheat meal accounted for), needs to ask themselves if it's gonna backfire. Not just in terms of calories, but in terms of their own wiring. Their own behavior modification efforts. Their cue/reward issues. Their dopanine/serotonin levels.

The times I've had cheats in the last couple months, I had to make up for it in the meal/day/week that followed. That's just how it goes.

But I did notice this: When I cheat with something healthful and not cue-triggering (ie, not a lot of sugar, not pizza, not a burrito doused in sour cream and sauce and cheese, not mac n cheese), yes, when I decide I really want to have--say, steamed dumplings (which can rack up calories fast, really, the meat ones)--but it's not the "big bad trigger", I can be sane. I can enjoy it and then make up for it as needed. I try not to have something else heavy in carbs or calories with that meal. I gotta balance it with veggies and maybe lighter fruit. No noodles. No sweet n sour (which is like a killer trigger for a lot of folks, the fat-sugar-salt trimvirate of weight gain  right there).

But if I order a cheat-trigger, it's very hard for me to think rationally. I go all limbic or something. I go primitive and in total "eat-eat-eat" mode. That's why they're called trigger foods. You go shooting off into insanity. Food insanity.

If I have a huge, bit ole cheat day, having what I want, what I want will be 3000, 4000 calories for that day. Maybe more.  Seriously. Not a good idea. And the days the follow will feel harder to control. Loosen control and it's harder to get it back.

I haven't had an all-out binge in a good while, months and months. I can't even remember it.  But I recall well-enough that when I let the reins go and eat that whole pizza with some buffalo dippers, I want to overeat every day that week and more. The appetite comes back full force.

When I eat low-to-no sugar and up my protein and veggies, and the meals are mostly in the 400 to 700 range, I don't get as binge-y. It's as if my body stays calmer when the meals are less carby/sugary and the quantity is not huge.

I had a big caloric meal last night. A bit over 1000 cals. But that's puny next to a binge. And it was big in veggies mostly. I had like 7 servings of vegetables in that meal, and a miniscule amount of bread and a normal (normal for thin, not for obese) serving of beef. Most of the calorie stretch came from the oils (my estimate of the EVOO and butter used in cooking, cause you know restaurants are not discreet). The veggies themselves were negligible. The beef was not over the top. But because I didn't have dessert (sugar) and I mostly erred in fat/salt side, the next day, my appetite didn't wake up crazy. I felt normal today.

So, it's for each person to try and figure out what they can have and handle. I can't handle a cheat day (ie, just eat what I want). I can handle a cheat ITEM or couple of items but not in the "as much as I want" mode. In the "reasonable mode."

Thin, naturally so that is, folks follow hunger cues, so they can cheat and not go nuts.

I can't. Tell me to have a what I want day, and I'm gonna eat a whole pizza.

But tell me I can have one slice of pizza every Saturday, and I may or may not feel like I can handle it. If someone brings me ONE slice, not a whole pie, and I can have water and salad with it to fill up yes. If someone brings the whole pie and I see it, smell it-- I may well go berserk. I am a conditioned hypereater. I'm a binger. I'm an overeater. I'm a person with a freak appetite and a stomach that can eat the food allotment of two burly men and then some.

Know thyself....and don't cheat if you go berserk or don't account for the cheat calories.

Why I'm Looking Eastward and Giving Switzerland a Dirty Look Today!!!

719 days, 7 hours to go....

Holy cow. I discovered a bomb in my house yesterday!

So, there I was. Eating well. Drinking pretty well. No binges. Pretty calm. It's suppertime. We're almost done eating. I made a no-sugar apple compote to give hubby for dessert with some vanilla frosty (I don't get tempted by those, so I can use half of a small frosty one night for his dessert and the rest the next night, usually with an apple compote.)

Then hubby gets up, goes, "Oh, I almost forgot..." and goes off to retrieve something from his office. He comes back and it's some treat a co-worker brought back from a trip to Switzerland.  He says he tasted it and it was good, but didn't know if I'd like it.

It's a chocolate bar with a chocolate mousse filling.

Oh, dear.

But wait, it's milk chocolate. No problem. Milk chocolate is not my big thing. The only one that really tempts me is the Jivara bar by Valrhona (expensive, super nice).

I take a taste, figuring it would cap my meal and I could hand it back.

Holy Swiss Cow on a Sugar Stick!

Whatever they put in that--I suspect crack--set me off. I have not had a chocolate frenzy like that in...well...a good while enough that I can't remember. This thing was created by chocoholic angels. I never came across milk chocolate moussey genius like this in any American bar.

I ate five pieces. Only one was left. Hubby had had two. Sweet Cream Demon Spawn of Candy Hell! It was like being possessed.

I handed the pathetic box with one piece left and told hubby FIRMLY and SOBERLY, never to bring this stuff in the house again. This triggered me like nobody's business, I told him. Don't bring junk food in the house again, period. This was bad. BAD.

He looked contrite and went and hid the last piece where I do not know. Maybe he ate it.

I don't even know the name. I didn't read the box, I didn't jot it down. I just had to get it out of my sight after the frenzy was done.

It was masterfully crafted. BUT...the fault is mine.

I chose to let it control me.

Let's face it: I am a human being with 50 years under my (decidedly overly large) belt. I have two college degrees. I have common sense. I don't do crazy rash things. I never did illegal drugs. I never smoked. I got drunk once when I was 18 and realized it was a very stupid sensation and never got drunk again. I drive carefully. I never got a speeding ticket. I pay my bills on time. I have an enduring and loving marriage (27.5 years). I am a good sister. I was a very good daughter.

So, it wasn't the chocolate. I chose to give up control.

Okay, so I understand that there is some scientific backing for the effect of sugar-n-fat on the brain and that first square was probably toxic to me in ways I cannot fully fathom. But it's still on me. I GAVE UP CONTROL TO A FRICKEN SWISS BAR OF CHOCOLATE!

How dumbass do I feel?

So, I got on the scale and, thankfully, there was only a 1/5th of a pound uptick. Probably more to do with the salty Italian fixings in my dinner salad (artichoke in brine, genoa salami (1 ounce), cappicola (1/2 ounce), mozzarella, briny peppers, black olives) than the 300 or whatever calories in the chocolate. Still...I messed up my momentum...it will affect my weigh-in.

It was incredibly delicious. It was not worth it.

So, now that I've thoroughly admitted my humiliation at the hands of Swiss candymakers, I am happy to say today has been back on calm. No Swiss candy bombs in sight!

I do admit there is a bar of chocolate in my dining room. It's Valrhona, it's very dark, it's not a temptation bomb. I can now and then indulge in a square and not feel like I have to scarf up the whole thing. This is the only kind of dark chocolate I can allow--one that has some bitterness, one that can sit on the table for weeks and serve its purpose without setting me off the way a creamier, sweeter one can. Maybe cause it's nice, but not INSANE LOGIC SUCKING sorta nice. A treat that can be kept discreet.

So, hey, you, Switzerland. Yes, that prickle on the back of your collective Alps-hiking necks--that's me giving you the eye of death for making that insane chocolate bar. It's lethal. It's of the devil. It's just too good. Hope you all get fat!

:)

Today, so far, 400 calories. All is calm, all is bright...no Swiss bombs in sight...may it remain so....