What I Did Yesterday, and What I'm Singing Right Now! AKA STRIKE A (Pilates) POSE! For Trippy Anne!

Go over and sing along with Anne, HERE.

In honor of that post, here's my "strike a (Pilates) pose" series of shots,  showing what I did YESTERDAY. Well, some of it, anyway:

Also did my 30 minute walk.

Go strike some poses of your own today. Or just "get up on the dance floor...POSE!"

Posing for health. You know you can do it!

And be well...

Will I Be One Of The 5%, Will You? And How Would You Define Weight Loss Success? Oh, and HAPPY NEW YEAR! May your name be inscribed!

I have realized more and more since this summer that I already consider myself AT THIS POINT a success. I feel good. Sugar is normal. Off the blood pressure meds. Joints don't hurt as much with less weight on them. I can walk a mile in the Miami heat and not fear I'll pass out within 3 blocks.

Being in the 180s is way better than the 290s, I can tell you. And so, I feel content. Not perfect. I will never be perfect, just as I never was. I will never be sleek, just as I never was, not since age 6 anyway. But I realize I'm at a happy weight.

Saggy, crinkly skin and all. I'm at a happy weight. :) I thought my happy weight would be in the 170s, 172 to 175 to be precise. But it's here. I'm happy. I could stay here, happily.

But I fight on. I want to hit goal weight and reassess then. I will only be a weight I can maintain with some decent food intake, ie, at least 1500-1600 calories. If I can't maintain it at that range, then I'll be fatter. Plain and simple.  I will not live in 1200 to 1400. Sorry. Ain't gonna happen.

I think all of you out there on a diet, in a challenge, should always keep the sobering facts in mind. Most dieters fail. Most losers regain. Most...most...most...

To win this fight, you have to be seriously serious. I have to be deadly serious. Because the very few studies that look at how many lose and keep it off offer a mighty grim figure: Maybe 5% keep it off. If you wanna be optimistic, maybe 10%. If you wanna be grimmer, maybe 3%. No one knows for sure, but let's say it's VERY FEW.

I want to be in that minority.

I will never be a size 2, unless I get some wasting disease. Even younger, fitter, teen me wasn't anywhere near that. Ain't gonna happen and I don't even plan to go there, never have. I dreamed of being 123 lbs when I was 20 or so, but the reality was, body wasn't gonna go there without out and out starvation.

And let's be honest, a 1200 caloric regimen used to be considered starvation dieting. Read old diets books. :) It really is still kinda starvation level dieting. It's not what humans would normally eat if totally unregulated. But bring in food deficits in the wild and in the village, and you'll be eating 900, 1000 calories.  I read a story years ago of the caloric intake of some African region in famine. It was just under 1000 calories daily. Yep. They were STARVING.

It is starvation eating being on a diet of 900 to 1200 calories (and certainly if you're under 900, you're in serious deficit, which is why those WLS peops eating 500 to 700 cals a day drop astoundingly huge numbers in short order). It just is. But it's often necessary to gain control of our portions, triggers, etc. It's necessary because we wanna burn fat week after week after month after month...and lose that crapload of weight. We do it nutritionally soundly within those limitations (I hope), with good food, with vitamins to fill holes as needed (I always take my TwinLab One Daily and Vit D and Magnesium, if nothing else), with lots of fluids to flush the crap out and keep us hydrated, with rest, with destressing. Starving is stressful. Anytime we wanna burn fat, we essentially have to go into starving mode (ie, make the body see a deficit and burn fat consisitently, week in and week out).

One day, that will end. You get to a weight you want or can live with, and you go into maintenance. No longer "starving". No longer in the consistent burn fat stores mode. Now, we hold on best we can. :)

That's gonna be tough. We know from studies, for those once obese, holding off that regain is beyond hard. It's a lifelong project.

You  need to know what's ahead. The work never stops.

But a minority does it. Just like a minority of folks get PhDs, a minority climb mountains, a minority publish novels, a minority run a marathon, a minority become millionaires.

It's not impossible. But it's hard hard hard.

Accept it now. Decide we're gonna be in that minority. Get the warrior brain in gear. Stop playing games. Me and you, we're not playing games. We're out to conquer Everest. It takes gut, grit, determination, and perseverance.

And the moment you quit, it's likely over.

Read the Big Fat Facts, and do not lose heart. Use the facts to be sober about reality. The odds are against us.

Decide if you're ready for the climb to the mountain. If not, get the equipment and companions you need. Get the mindset. I'm going for the top. I'm gonna be fierce. Even if I can't hold on to 160 when I get there, I want to remember how happy I am at 181. And I want to hold on to THIS.

One way or another, I must remember how good this feels and how awful 250, 270, 300 felt. That felt HORRIBLE. I don't give a rat's butt what society thought about me at 300. I felt AWFUL. My quality of life was AWFUL. I hated how I felt nearly dead in my own skin.

I want to be alive in my skin, even if society thinks I'm too fat. I like me here. Fat, but alive.

Will I succeed at maintaning? God knows. But only I can make it happen.  I have to have the resolve or the journey's over and I will be obese again. I must become steel, or the mountain wins and I wallow at the bottom, full of regret.

Five percent. Maybe less. Maybe more. But roughly. FIVE PERCENT.

If one hundred of you are weight loss blogging and  you made it to goal, 95 of you are probably gonna be obese again.

FIVE PERCENT.

The very few.

I intend to become one.

May God help us make that minority, whatever the actual percentage is these days.

Look around. How many of your blogging friends who lost weight had it easy keeping it off? How many even kept it off? How many are regaining?

Where do you wanna be?

The 95%
The 5%

Decide. Then do what it takes to be in the group you feel is best for you. One or the other.

You may want to be in the 95%. It's your decision.

I'm going for the 5.

It's a New Year--greetings and good wishes to my Jewish readers, l'shanah tovah!-- so if you messed up after January 1st, get a new start in with sundown. Another day, another chance to begin anew with a firm resolve. Don't wait until Jan 1, 2012. Get going NOW! Go for the FIVE!

Never quit. Be well.

Some Challenge Particulars--and Changing one of my Challenge READS; Restarting Organic Produce Coop Today; And A Blogger Who Embodies My Mantra of "Never ever quit" Until It Clicks!--and my little cheerleading pom poms are taken out yet again! ETA: BETH, BETH, BETH COME BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Been doing fine with fluids. Been still eating more than 1200 calories, which has made me decide to switch out one of my books. Instead of re-reading one of my two selections, I'm gonna hit WILLPOWER by Gillian Riley. I think it's what I need now to stick to the LOWER end of the caloric range I set. Around 1400 is fine, if I want to crawl, crawl, crawl. I want to make it lower and keep a steady 1 pound or more loss a week.

I'm metabolically challenged. I don't have a big deficit zone that's doable. It's my reality.

I can maintain my weight now with about 1800. If I don't cut down to 1200 or less consistently, I'll likely not fit into that dress by December 18th, and I won't be at goal by my birthday next year. It's time to bring in the big willpower and focus guns, and Gillian is one of the big guns for me.

I did my hour of Pilates yesterday, but even though I had planned to walk and kept my workout clothes on waiting for 6:30pm (cooler, less harsh sun), the rain kept me in. So, that's on the agenda today.

I actually feel a bit letdown when I can't walk. I feel like..."something's missing, something's missing..."

~~~

Today, I restart my organic co-op membership. I had taken a break, cause there were some organization issues that just irked me. It's easy enough for me to get organic goodies at Josh's Organic Garden or Whole Foods or, heck, even Publix, so it wasn't a big deal. Except I like supporting local farmers and I like the idea of a co-op, and I'm back. :) The cooler weather arrives next month, and more local produce is available starting fall.

I saw on the list they had beech mushrooms this week. I so hope they're good. I've had a beech mushrooms craving for 3 weeks now. I whooped at the idea I might have me some tonight!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you've tried various diets/eating plans and keep failing, my advice is DO NOT GIVE UP.

You knew that, right? If you read this blog regularly, you knew that was coming.

NO QUITTING.

Keep reading, learning, self-examining. Go see a therapist, try a different plan, try different exercises, try different foods, try different caloric levels, try support groups, try posting your picture and weight weekly on a blog, try writing about it, try meditation on the beach, try prayer-walking, try anything new, try sleeping more, try less tv, but keep working on it.

I fully believe every person is capable of finding something that works to get them healthier and slimmer. I also believe it will be very difficult. It will take time. It will mean changing a mental focus and maybe an entire lifestyle. That's hard.

I don't necessarily advise or believe everyone will get to Vogue-weight or Hollywood-sleek or OXYGEN magazine cover level. I don't believe most of us should even shoot for that. But I believe everyone can reach a healthier weight, a weight that reduces or eliminates meds, gets you out of diabetes II risk grouping, lowers early heart disease or stroke risk, etc. Yes, I believe everyone can do that.

If a total lazy ass couch potato binge eater procrastinating self-destructive food addicted dork like me can do it, yeah, anyone can. It's just hard. Hard like mad at first, then less hard. But always takes...discipline. Discipline was not my strong suit. I had to work those muscles like mad to make this progress. I was not inherently a disciplined person. I'm a dreamer, once self-loathing, tending to pessimism and not finishing tasks sort of dork. But when something matters, you put the energy into it.

I had to make this a priority. I had to make it matter more than the pleasure of eating and not exercising. I had to find pleasure in the NOT eating and the exercising. And no, I don't mean anorexia not eating. I mean find pleasure in not giving in to my binges. It is a 180 degree mental turn.

That doesn't come easy.

What worked for me was a combo of lowering carbs (not Atkins low, but lower), reading "epiphany" books, eating real food (get rid of 99% of processed stuff), blogging for accountability, and caloric counting in conjunction with online support in the form of blog challenges. That was MY combo-magic bullet (so far).

I advise folks to try this if they are like me (maybe like me in medical issues, in original body size, knowledge-oriented, book-oriented, blogging-friendly,  temperament/personality, triggers, neuroses, hah). I advise real food just cause it makes sense. I advise lowering carbs if you have binge/appetite issues, only cause I found it calmed my appetite to do so, allowing me for the first time in my adult life to actually STAY on a low-calorie eating, reducing plan for more than a few days, a week a couple months.

What works for you and other folks may be different.

While I'll rah-rah real food and for Metabolic Syndrome/Diabetes people to get the crap away from refined/processed foods and lower carbs and eat REAL and MOVE MOVE MOVE....everyone is in a different place mentally/emotionally/personality-wise.

Find what works for you to get you to a healthy place.

Never give up.

My mantra. If you're in the challenge, you know my mantra. Don't quit. Keep working at it. Don't give up.

The fact is that you have to find something that works pretty much for life (or something like it, heh). Long haul. You and I have to find that livable way to eat and move (that will be refined as you grow older, learn new stuff) that keeps us in that healthful place we want to be.

If you want to read one blogger who kept trying/failing, trying/failing, trying/failing until it CLICKED..and she found what worked for HER...here she is.

She is different from me. I don't like being told what to eat down to the last bite. I'd love to have a chef a la Oprah to cook my particular type of foods/meals for me, sure, but I take huge pleasure in going produce shopping. I love seeing fruits and veggies and plucking out my share. :D I love outdoor organic farmer's markets overflowing with colorful beauties from the ground, from trees, from herb planters. I love food shopping. I hate food putting-away and cooking. :) Is there a job for me? ; )

I know many give up, believing they will never do it. That was me a few years ago. Feeling hopeless. Researching weigh loss surgeries, talking to the doc about it, reading books and blogs with WLS peops.

And mind you, I respect people feeling that is their option and only last option. I'm not in YOUR head and heart and you gotta do what you gotta do. I was there. A few steps away from having my innards rejiggered.

But I decided that if you still have to diet and exercise anyway post WLS, that I'd just give that a bit more push and a real hard push. I just immersed myself in books, blogs, programs, food delivery, new plans, etc. And discovered my "light bulbs"...more than one. A comboo.

This is why I say it over and over. Don't quit. Keep reading. Keep learning. Keep trying. Keep digging. Keep hitting the issues. Do the hard work. Accept the hard aspect of the journey. Eye on lifetime, not just a week or a month or even a year. A lifetime of working on it and solving these issues. Find what makes it work FOR YOU.

When you do, it will feel like a whole new world inside you is unlocked. Look at the ones who lost it and are keeping it off. The joy. The energy. The self-discovery. The broadened life. When you control food, other things open up. Other opportunities.

I feel amazing. I look pretty good for a 51 year old dame who's still fat. :) I get flirted with, even younger hot dudes. Don't get that, but it says healthier me is also more attractive me. I feel--other than my crappy joints--like I'm my twenties me again. I still have lots of internal neurotic things to work on and that will improve my life even more, but not being obese is da bomb. DA BOMBDIGGIEST BOMB. I forgot how good it felt to just not be impeded so much by adipose tissue.

It's a great, great, feeling that obese me totally forgot. Encased and entombed as I was in my fat, I forgot how good THIS feels.

A pizza can't compare to being able to walk around Vienna or Paris or Rome all day long.

A bacon cheeseburger isn't worth looking beautiful in the latest fashionable outfit.

A chocolate cake isn't worth keeping up with your kids at the playground.

A bag of chips isn't worth great new flexible positions in sex without that belly in the way!

Find what makes it work for you --and me--FOR LIFE. Find what takes you down and makes you feel great. Find what revives you from the food-zombie life.

I'm still on the learning and losing journey. Twenty pounds and change to go. Then I have my maintenance journey. I plan to keep reading and learning and self-examining. I don't want to be the regain statistic. I wanna win.

And to do that I must...YOU MUST... never quit.


ETA: OMG, it's BETH!!! Beth, I've missed you so much!!!! Please blog again!!!!!! COME BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Have I groveled enough? :D   I'll review WILLPOWER for ya, k? So, blog again. I missed you like crazy!!!!

CDCC Update: Finally crawled my way back to my lowest weight again....and lower! Vera Bradley goodies, here I come! And some asthma/steroid/gluten experimentation stuff...and using the FitBit for motivation.

• Tanita-san: 180.4
• fasting blood sugar: 78
• Blood pressure: 125/66
• Pulse: 50

Holy cow. I'm so happy.

I was 181 lbs on September 3, regained some, and have been fighting to get back there. Nice to make it and make MORE progress. New low.

I have visual motivation. I need to make it under 180 to use the purse and tote I bought from the Vera Bradley store. It's been sitting on the La-Z-Boy, taunting me. Unused. Spanking new. So close!

Such a relief to see tangible proof my hard work this week is working.

I struggled like mad again during this week. I exceeded calories by 100 or 200 almost every day. Sucks, huh? I was doing 1400 to 1600, not 1200 to 1400, like I stated in my goal.

Fluids have been fine.  Have barely been reading my books for the challenge this week, and I need to get back to that. It will probably help with the caloric limit mojo!

Now, because I ate more, I had to make sure to exercise more to balance that out. Instead of 3x a week as my challenge goal, I've walked every day from Monday through Thursday and had my regular 2 hour long sessions with my trainer. 

I'll add that exercising has been harder, too, off the steroids. Yes, I'm experimenting with no inhaled steroids, the drugs I've been on for 2 decades for my asthma. Breathing is less nimble without them, but when I'm just sitting or doing regular chores and errands, I'm fine.

It's when I do exertion or am around allergens (walk by a blossoming tree that I'm sensitive to or am around pets) that it goes funky on me. BUT....I haven't been able to be off them since age 29. I had read that getting off gluten could help the asthma, and I had noticed that when I reduced my steroid dosage, I still felt fine. Hence, the no-steroid experiment. Been nearly a month. In the worst allergy season for me. December is the next hurdle--blossoming mango trees kill me!

If I find that I can't handle it, well, I'll go back. But for now...we're testing it out.

It's hard walking in the heat/humidity/pollens, but I just adjust my pace.

I've been wearing my FitBit to encourage me to walk MORE. On my non-exercise days, I can easily NOT walk more than 1000 steps. Seriously. It's sad.  The first time I used a pedometer years ago, when still ill and sedentary and morbidly obese, my steps averaged in the 800s. Lord in Heaven!

I'm so glad I won it from Cranky Fitness. I'd have balked spending 99 bucks for an upscale pedometer...but it's very small, light, fits nicely on my bra and keeps me accountable. Accountability is GOOD. Motivation is GOOD.

I've made it to 7000+ steps days this week, but that's with intentional movement--shopping often--ie, more trips, more walking in parking lot and around store--planned challenge walking for 30+ minutes at a briskish pace. Being more active means I have to plan for it. It doesn't JUST happen. I like to sit and read and watch anime and websurf. That's bupkis calorie-burn. .


And yet...I have not made it once to 10,000. Sad huh?

Granted, I don't work. When I worked last time, I had to walk to and from the car, to and from the train station, a few blocks to the office, a few blocks back to the train, and in-between all the up and down stairs, around the hospital campus (huge hospital), and it was easily a couple blocks from the satellite cubicle on the oncology ward to the main medical records office. Stairs, city blocks, walking to eat lunch, it adds up. HOme, sitting at the computer, doing dishes, not much moving. ; )

I am so looking forward to our first cold front. I'm gonna be a walking, sightseeing -the-city fool when it's cooler.

Happy Friday, folks. Move, eat real food...be well.

ETA: Just gonna make this post my CDCC update, as the weekend will be busy! Changed title and added about fluids and book, hah.